Sherri (2009) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
la, la, la, la la, la, la, la la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Now, angie, i know you just joined the firm.
So you're not fully aware of how right i always am, But trust me a man who cheats can never be trusted again.
Dump him.
I know you're probably right, sherri Dump him.
I really like vinnie, and i want him to Go get matches.
Burn up his clothes.
Dump him.
Wasn't there ever a time When you thought about maybe taking kevin back? Are you kidding? Screw me once, shame on you.
Screw a white girl, we're done.
She was a 20-Year-Old cashier working at quiznos.
You believe that? I've had a hard enough time getting extra napkins.
What did you do when you caught kevin cheating? Whew! First thing i did was burn up his clothes.
And then i decided to make a visit to the bank.
I want to close my husband's bank accounts And take his name off our joint account.
I'll need him to sign off Unh-Unh, no signing off just gone.
Here's my driver's license.
I'm sorry, mrs.
Robinson, But i have to follow bank procedure.
I've been married 10 years.
I just found hidden pictures of my husband Naked with another woman.
A white woman.
Let's take him down.
But you know what made me feel better? Hmm? Women.
People talk all kinds of trash when it comes to women How catty they are or how they don't support one another.
But i tell you once that bat signal goes up in the sky That your man's been caught cheating, women unite.
"What?! Sherri caught her husband in bed with another woman?! Where's the fool?!" Women will drop whatever we're doing To come to the aid of a woman whose man has strayed.
There'll be women pulling out i.
V.
S out of their arms, Getting out of their deathbeds.
You know, the people you barely know That weird woman covered in cat hair and fuzzy slippers In the post office She is there and ready to die for you.
It's true.
A cheating man will bring women together faster Than a road trip with oprah and gayle.
Now, you just need to forget about this man, Marshal all your faith, and just get back out there.
Oh, god, i can't stand the thought of dating again.
You know, i was finally at the stage Where i felt comfortable peeing with the door open.
I'm sure you'll find that same magic with someone else.
But was it hard for you, Dating after 10 years of marriage? [ Laughs .]
Well, you know, at first, but over time, you Oh, come on, sherri, and tell the truth.
What do you call carl? Who's carl? Carl is a gentleman caller whom i see from time to time.
He's a very funny stand-Up i met in the clubs a year ago.
Gay.
I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.
Sherri, now, it's been three months, And the man has not made move one.
Well, maybe he's just taking it slow.
Slow? Girl, please.
I want to see your breasts more than he does.
[ Laughter .]
I married a reverend, And he was on second base within a week.
[ Laughing .]
oh ho ho, who are you kidding? Second week, that man hit it right out the park.
Okay, never mind about me.
You need to go on a real date.
Oh, give me time.
Haven't you heard of the stages of grief? Anger, anger, anger, anger, candy.
Ooh! Hey, summer, just a reminder I have to take bo to the pediatrician right after lunch.
Sherri, i know the single-Mom thing is hard.
I was raised by a single mom well, sometimes single.
She was married eight times.
[ Chuckles .]
That was a crazy year.
That said, i need you here today.
No, summer, I told you about this appointment a month ago.
My reminding you was just a courtesy.
Oh, so now it's a courtesy To ask your supervisor for time off? Sherri, i know you're quite a big deal around here With your occasional tv appearances, But i'll bet you dollars to doughnuts It's not your "ugly betty" residuals That are keeping you in those "come for me" heels.
So, i should be back around 3:00.
Sherri, sherri, sherri, What's with ziti-For-Brains, huh? She's mopey, and she dresses like a slut.
Thoughts? She's all right, summer.
She just got dumped by her boyfriend.
Well, then she can start feeling sorry for herself at 5:15.
Oh, come on.
She's young.
Haven't you ever had your heart broken before? Yes, and it's excruciatingly painful to have a cat run away.
No closure.
With that said, You fill our quota for brokenhearted paralegals.
So she either gets it together, or she's gone.
Bo, that is so cute.
Thank you.
Okay.
[ Both chuckle .]
Why did you write "paralegal" where it says "occupation" Instead of "actress"? Because that's what pays the bills right now, dad.
You want some advice? No, not really.
See, you don't know how to sell yourself.
Next time you're on that "30 rock" show, You go up to alec baldwin, and you say, "Mr.
Alec baldwin, did you like what i just did? "If so, could you write me a letter of recommendation For my résumé?" A week later, You send him a bottle of old spice and a v-Neck sweater, And you are good to go.
Hmm.
Let's make that plan "b," And plan "a" is anything else.
Hey, sherri.
Oh, hi, dr.
Gregg.
Do you remember my father, redmond? Of course.
Redmond.
I heard that you and bo were out here today, So i had to come out and say hi.
[ Both chuckle .]
Hi.
You really smell nice today.
Oh.
Not that you don't always smell nice 'cause you do.
Not that i'm sniffing you 'cause [Chuckles nervously.]
that would be unprofessional.
It's just that when, you know, People make the effort not to smell, It should be acknowledged.
Sothank you.
Thank you.
You convinced me.
I'm gonna keep showering.
[ Laughs .]
That's that's a good one.
It was, uh, great catching up.
I'll see you again in about two minutes.
Okay, bye! That man likes you.
Oh, he's just making small talk Granted, a lot of it.
That man found a whole new gear of stupid.
The doctor only talks to you that much If he likes you or you're dying.
Hey, man.
Daddy! Ahh! How you doing? Ahh! Am i coming over to your house tonight? You bet you are.
Can we watch "101 dalmatians"? For the 101st time, you got it! [ Chuckles .]
Hey, let me go talk to your mama for a second.
Okay.
All right.
Uh, hey, sher.
What's up, redmond? You're late.
That's what's up.
Daddy.
I ran my appliance store for 43 years.
You know how many times i was late? Four times.
Four times.
Four times, that's right.
Every day, 6 days a week, for 43 years, I opened my store on time, And never once did i make a move on the sandwich lady.
Lord knows she was throwing out signals.
Daddy, would you go and draw with bo While i talk with kevin? All right.
You watch yourself.
Dad, that's not bo.
I know that.
So, how you doing? What's wrong? What? Why does something have to be wrong? You're blinking fast, and your lip is sweating.
Spill it.
Listen, um I need to talk to you about paula.
Unh-Unh.
The quiz-Ho.
I worked really hard on that nickname.
I would appreciate you using it.
Sherri, what i'm getting ready to tell you, I am so sorry for.
[ Sighs .]
paula's pregnant.
What? Wait a minute.
What? You you got her pregnant? You said you weren't seeing her anymore.
She's six months.
I just found out.
I didn't lie to you.
I haven't seen her.
She just calls me out of nowhere.
You are not serious.
Baby, i wish i wasn't.
But it's happening.
[ Exhales sharply .]
Sherri, i am so sorry.
I mean, if there is anything in this world, Anything i could do to make it up to you, anything, You name it.
Well, there's one thing you can do.
Really? Okay, look, whatever it is, i'll do it.
All you have to do is Come on.
Please, please just tell me.
All you have to do is build a time machine, Get your sorry ass in it, go back in time, And when you get to the part Dear lord, help our friend sherri During this difficult time.
Father, help her to understand That although we may not always understand The ways in which you work, That your love for her is unshakeable.
And regardless of how difficult things may seem right now, You are here, a guiding light shepherding her Through this very difficult time.
Amen.
Amen.
[ Smooches .]
[ Sighs .]
Nope, he's still got to die.
Uh, sweetie Let me do another one.
Oh, no, no.
No, no.
Three's enough for me.
Whew! I haven't prayed this much Since i thought i was pregnant.
No, the only way that i can put this behind me is I got to go have it out with her.
It's like it's happening all over again, And it's so much worse, her being pregnant.
Not only were they cheating, But they didn't even care enough about me to be careful.
It's just so disrespectful.
That's why i would never have sex with a married man.
Mm-Hmm.
Unless, you know, he really liked me.
Why couldn't she still work at quiznos? It was her only redeeming quality.
There she is.
Are you sure? I think so.
I've never seen pictures of her standing up.
Aww, she's kind of cute.
For a tramp.
Excuse me.
Paula? I'm sorry.
This register's closed.
Unh-Unh.
You woman enough to sleep with my husband, Then you got to be woman enough to hear me out.
I'm taking my break now, sid.
I'm gonna take a ham and cheese with extra mustard.
What the hell are you doing? Oh, you want something? Do i want something? Yeah, can i get a go-Go wrap with mayo, mustard, pickles? I got a coupon in the car.
So, you think you can just get in bed with a married man? That man was my husband.
We have a 6-Year-Old son.
We've been married for 10 years.
That man was my life.
[ Scoffs .]
We were supposed to raise our son together, Grow old together.
Do you have any idea what you have done? And now you're pregnant.
First you're gonna ruin my life, And now you're never gonna leave it.
[ Sighs .]
I'm sorry.
But i just have to say this.
I I'm your biggest fan! I love everything you do.
You were so funny on "ellen" last week! Ahh! You crack me up! And that episode of "30 rock" that you did Is my all-Time favorite.
You are so funny! Well, thank you very much! No, i mean it.
"High-Sterical"! That is so nice of you to say.
Why are you not in movies? Ohh! I've had feelers.
It's just it's political, really.
I cannot wait for the day that i land a job That lets me quit my day job.
I mean real money, Not just bit parts here and there.
[ Chuckles .]
I'm sorry i slept with kevin.
Me too.
How'd it go? I don't see any scratches.
Don't tell me she turtled up on you.
I hate it when they do that.
She's just a dumb kid with fantastic taste in comedians.
This just keeps getting worse! Well, what can you say? Men suck.
You know, i thought this nightmare was over, But now i just can't seem to wake up from it.
My aunt was miss hoboken, And still my uncle would sleep with these skanks From south jersey.
Who does that? It's like he's from philly, for crying out loud.
I'm confused.
Is sherri miss hoboken? I better be, 'Cause if you calling me a skank from south jersey, I'm taking my earrings off.
Okay, okay, bad analogy.
How about Men make bad choices, and we can't control it.
We can only control the choices we make When choosing to deal with it.
You know what? She's right.
I'm not gonna let him do this to me again.
I am taking control.
We should go out this weekend, Hit the clubs, and have some fun.
Yeah, let's take back the power.
Ooh! And we can do jello shots, too! Angela, you still on break? Listen, if this job is too much for you, Please let us know.
Summer, what are you doing this weekend? Oh, uh, making cookies with my niece While watching the "shrek" trilogy.
She'll go to bed around 9:00, And then i thought i'd either give my cat a flea dip [Inhales sharply.]
or grab a bottle of wine And sit in the garage with the engine running.
Why? Well, the girls and i are going out clubbing this weekend.
You want to come? Me? You want me to go out with you guys To an actual club and party like it's 1999? Yeah, sure, that'd be great! All right, summer's in.
Hey, hey, summer, About those reports listen, i'm a little behind, But i promise that i will get them Oh, what's the big deal? Turn them in monday.
Now, if you'll excuse me, i've got to go call my sister And tell her where she can shove my favorite niece.
all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies now put your hands up up in the club, we just broke up i'm doing my own little thing decided to dip and now you wanna trip Oh, hey, that's not fair.
They don't have c-Section scars.
God, i feel so uncomfortable.
I just remembered how much i hate clubs.
Whatever you do, don't leave me alone.
Hi.
Hi! Scram.
What'll you have? Don't you want to check my i.
D.
? No.
[ Chuckles .]
it's better safe than sorry.
Yeah, that's all right just take a look at the damn thing! [ Lady gaga's "poker face" plays .]
i wanna hold 'em like they do in texas plays i love it luck and intuition, play the cards with spades to start What's up, beautiful? You, after your bedtime.
[ Laughs .]
My name's russell.
Sherri.
And don't worry.
I'm 21.
21? I'm old enough to be your patient, more experienced lover.
[ Both laugh .]
So, how old are you, 27, 28? You pick one.
I can't decide.
They both sound so good.
May i buy you another chardonnay? You may.
Cool.
I'll be right back, sherri.
Who's that stud? Man, he's cute! He's 12.
Who cares? It's not like you're trying to marry him.
You're just out having fun.
Yeah, besides, i made out with a 60-Year-Old guy once.
Why is that okay and this wrong? Whoever said that was okay? He did.
Okay, sherri, Now, remember, this is all about letting your hair down.
So i say go out and have a few laughs.
You know what? You're right.
Okay.
[ Laughter .]
Oh, yeah! Oh, whoever taught you to kiss should hold a clinic.
Well, school's in, baby, And i'm dropping a little biology on you.
I'm a big fan of higher education.
Hey, after everything you've been through, You need a real man to remind you That you are one hell of a woman.
Woman: russell! Russell, is that you?! Oh, my god.
Quick can you smell the liquor on my breath? [ Blows .]
That better not be you! What's the matter? You know that woman? What the hell are you doing here? Hey, ma.
I was just talking with this nice lady, that's all.
Don't you lie to me.
No, honest, ma.
I came here to fill out a job application, But the man said they're not hiring right now.
You know they're not gonna hire you! You're 17! 17?! Don't you hit my boy! He told me he was 21! 21?! Wait a minute.
Aren't you a little too old to be here with a 21-Year-Old? Not really.
Mm.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
It's just that i caught my husband cheating a while back, And this is my first time out as a single woman With a straight man in 10 years.
You took advantage of a woman whose man cheated on her? You know what my sister went through with your uncle! No, ma, it's no big deal.
No big deal?! I raised you better than that! Why would you do that to me?! Why'd you do that to her?! I'm feeling vulnerable! She's vulnerable! So, last night it couldn't have been all that bad.
Oh, it was bad.
How bad? Bad bad.
So bad i can't even tell you.
Oh, sherri, i'm your daddy.
You can tell me anything.
I made out with a kid from high school.
Please tell me last night was your high-School reunion.
Unfortunately, no.
It's my own fault.
I should have known.
I almost swallowed his retainer.
You were right.
That is so bad you can't even tell me.
I'm tired, daddy.
Of course you're tired.
You work too much.
You got your regular job, bo, television, Those nightclub appearances.
Tired tired.
This is just too hard.
I loved kevin with all my heart.
Now i think i've just lost faith In this part of my life ever working out.
Sherri, love is not for the weak.
You know how many women rejected me before i found your mother? I used to think that my middle name was "no, thanks.
" [ Chuckles .]
Don't lose faith, baby.
You'll find somebody.
Mm.
Thanks, dad.
I think you were the last good one.
Ooh! You might be right.
[ Both chuckle .]
[ Telephone rings .]
Hello? Hi.
Sherri, it's randy Uh, dr.
Gregg.
Sorry to call you on the weekend, But i wanted to follow up on bo's physical And let you know he's fine.
Yeah, i kind of got that When you said he was fine in your office yesterday.
Well, i know you were concerned about the abrasion That he suffered on the playground.
The scratch? Yeah.
God, i suck at this.
[ Chuckles .]
Listen Could i take you out for a cup of coffee sometime? Unless you'd rather go dancing or something.
No.
No dancing.
No clubs.
I just want to sit and have a cup of coffee, Wear normal clothes, and have a real conversation.
Are you up for that? Very much so.
I'll call you tomorrow, and we can set it up? Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
[ Beeps .]
You all right.
So you're not fully aware of how right i always am, But trust me a man who cheats can never be trusted again.
Dump him.
I know you're probably right, sherri Dump him.
I really like vinnie, and i want him to Go get matches.
Burn up his clothes.
Dump him.
Wasn't there ever a time When you thought about maybe taking kevin back? Are you kidding? Screw me once, shame on you.
Screw a white girl, we're done.
She was a 20-Year-Old cashier working at quiznos.
You believe that? I've had a hard enough time getting extra napkins.
What did you do when you caught kevin cheating? Whew! First thing i did was burn up his clothes.
And then i decided to make a visit to the bank.
I want to close my husband's bank accounts And take his name off our joint account.
I'll need him to sign off Unh-Unh, no signing off just gone.
Here's my driver's license.
I'm sorry, mrs.
Robinson, But i have to follow bank procedure.
I've been married 10 years.
I just found hidden pictures of my husband Naked with another woman.
A white woman.
Let's take him down.
But you know what made me feel better? Hmm? Women.
People talk all kinds of trash when it comes to women How catty they are or how they don't support one another.
But i tell you once that bat signal goes up in the sky That your man's been caught cheating, women unite.
"What?! Sherri caught her husband in bed with another woman?! Where's the fool?!" Women will drop whatever we're doing To come to the aid of a woman whose man has strayed.
There'll be women pulling out i.
V.
S out of their arms, Getting out of their deathbeds.
You know, the people you barely know That weird woman covered in cat hair and fuzzy slippers In the post office She is there and ready to die for you.
It's true.
A cheating man will bring women together faster Than a road trip with oprah and gayle.
Now, you just need to forget about this man, Marshal all your faith, and just get back out there.
Oh, god, i can't stand the thought of dating again.
You know, i was finally at the stage Where i felt comfortable peeing with the door open.
I'm sure you'll find that same magic with someone else.
But was it hard for you, Dating after 10 years of marriage? [ Laughs .]
Well, you know, at first, but over time, you Oh, come on, sherri, and tell the truth.
What do you call carl? Who's carl? Carl is a gentleman caller whom i see from time to time.
He's a very funny stand-Up i met in the clubs a year ago.
Gay.
I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response.
Sherri, now, it's been three months, And the man has not made move one.
Well, maybe he's just taking it slow.
Slow? Girl, please.
I want to see your breasts more than he does.
[ Laughter .]
I married a reverend, And he was on second base within a week.
[ Laughing .]
oh ho ho, who are you kidding? Second week, that man hit it right out the park.
Okay, never mind about me.
You need to go on a real date.
Oh, give me time.
Haven't you heard of the stages of grief? Anger, anger, anger, anger, candy.
Ooh! Hey, summer, just a reminder I have to take bo to the pediatrician right after lunch.
Sherri, i know the single-Mom thing is hard.
I was raised by a single mom well, sometimes single.
She was married eight times.
[ Chuckles .]
That was a crazy year.
That said, i need you here today.
No, summer, I told you about this appointment a month ago.
My reminding you was just a courtesy.
Oh, so now it's a courtesy To ask your supervisor for time off? Sherri, i know you're quite a big deal around here With your occasional tv appearances, But i'll bet you dollars to doughnuts It's not your "ugly betty" residuals That are keeping you in those "come for me" heels.
So, i should be back around 3:00.
Sherri, sherri, sherri, What's with ziti-For-Brains, huh? She's mopey, and she dresses like a slut.
Thoughts? She's all right, summer.
She just got dumped by her boyfriend.
Well, then she can start feeling sorry for herself at 5:15.
Oh, come on.
She's young.
Haven't you ever had your heart broken before? Yes, and it's excruciatingly painful to have a cat run away.
No closure.
With that said, You fill our quota for brokenhearted paralegals.
So she either gets it together, or she's gone.
Bo, that is so cute.
Thank you.
Okay.
[ Both chuckle .]
Why did you write "paralegal" where it says "occupation" Instead of "actress"? Because that's what pays the bills right now, dad.
You want some advice? No, not really.
See, you don't know how to sell yourself.
Next time you're on that "30 rock" show, You go up to alec baldwin, and you say, "Mr.
Alec baldwin, did you like what i just did? "If so, could you write me a letter of recommendation For my résumé?" A week later, You send him a bottle of old spice and a v-Neck sweater, And you are good to go.
Hmm.
Let's make that plan "b," And plan "a" is anything else.
Hey, sherri.
Oh, hi, dr.
Gregg.
Do you remember my father, redmond? Of course.
Redmond.
I heard that you and bo were out here today, So i had to come out and say hi.
[ Both chuckle .]
Hi.
You really smell nice today.
Oh.
Not that you don't always smell nice 'cause you do.
Not that i'm sniffing you 'cause [Chuckles nervously.]
that would be unprofessional.
It's just that when, you know, People make the effort not to smell, It should be acknowledged.
Sothank you.
Thank you.
You convinced me.
I'm gonna keep showering.
[ Laughs .]
That's that's a good one.
It was, uh, great catching up.
I'll see you again in about two minutes.
Okay, bye! That man likes you.
Oh, he's just making small talk Granted, a lot of it.
That man found a whole new gear of stupid.
The doctor only talks to you that much If he likes you or you're dying.
Hey, man.
Daddy! Ahh! How you doing? Ahh! Am i coming over to your house tonight? You bet you are.
Can we watch "101 dalmatians"? For the 101st time, you got it! [ Chuckles .]
Hey, let me go talk to your mama for a second.
Okay.
All right.
Uh, hey, sher.
What's up, redmond? You're late.
That's what's up.
Daddy.
I ran my appliance store for 43 years.
You know how many times i was late? Four times.
Four times.
Four times, that's right.
Every day, 6 days a week, for 43 years, I opened my store on time, And never once did i make a move on the sandwich lady.
Lord knows she was throwing out signals.
Daddy, would you go and draw with bo While i talk with kevin? All right.
You watch yourself.
Dad, that's not bo.
I know that.
So, how you doing? What's wrong? What? Why does something have to be wrong? You're blinking fast, and your lip is sweating.
Spill it.
Listen, um I need to talk to you about paula.
Unh-Unh.
The quiz-Ho.
I worked really hard on that nickname.
I would appreciate you using it.
Sherri, what i'm getting ready to tell you, I am so sorry for.
[ Sighs .]
paula's pregnant.
What? Wait a minute.
What? You you got her pregnant? You said you weren't seeing her anymore.
She's six months.
I just found out.
I didn't lie to you.
I haven't seen her.
She just calls me out of nowhere.
You are not serious.
Baby, i wish i wasn't.
But it's happening.
[ Exhales sharply .]
Sherri, i am so sorry.
I mean, if there is anything in this world, Anything i could do to make it up to you, anything, You name it.
Well, there's one thing you can do.
Really? Okay, look, whatever it is, i'll do it.
All you have to do is Come on.
Please, please just tell me.
All you have to do is build a time machine, Get your sorry ass in it, go back in time, And when you get to the part Dear lord, help our friend sherri During this difficult time.
Father, help her to understand That although we may not always understand The ways in which you work, That your love for her is unshakeable.
And regardless of how difficult things may seem right now, You are here, a guiding light shepherding her Through this very difficult time.
Amen.
Amen.
[ Smooches .]
[ Sighs .]
Nope, he's still got to die.
Uh, sweetie Let me do another one.
Oh, no, no.
No, no.
Three's enough for me.
Whew! I haven't prayed this much Since i thought i was pregnant.
No, the only way that i can put this behind me is I got to go have it out with her.
It's like it's happening all over again, And it's so much worse, her being pregnant.
Not only were they cheating, But they didn't even care enough about me to be careful.
It's just so disrespectful.
That's why i would never have sex with a married man.
Mm-Hmm.
Unless, you know, he really liked me.
Why couldn't she still work at quiznos? It was her only redeeming quality.
There she is.
Are you sure? I think so.
I've never seen pictures of her standing up.
Aww, she's kind of cute.
For a tramp.
Excuse me.
Paula? I'm sorry.
This register's closed.
Unh-Unh.
You woman enough to sleep with my husband, Then you got to be woman enough to hear me out.
I'm taking my break now, sid.
I'm gonna take a ham and cheese with extra mustard.
What the hell are you doing? Oh, you want something? Do i want something? Yeah, can i get a go-Go wrap with mayo, mustard, pickles? I got a coupon in the car.
So, you think you can just get in bed with a married man? That man was my husband.
We have a 6-Year-Old son.
We've been married for 10 years.
That man was my life.
[ Scoffs .]
We were supposed to raise our son together, Grow old together.
Do you have any idea what you have done? And now you're pregnant.
First you're gonna ruin my life, And now you're never gonna leave it.
[ Sighs .]
I'm sorry.
But i just have to say this.
I I'm your biggest fan! I love everything you do.
You were so funny on "ellen" last week! Ahh! You crack me up! And that episode of "30 rock" that you did Is my all-Time favorite.
You are so funny! Well, thank you very much! No, i mean it.
"High-Sterical"! That is so nice of you to say.
Why are you not in movies? Ohh! I've had feelers.
It's just it's political, really.
I cannot wait for the day that i land a job That lets me quit my day job.
I mean real money, Not just bit parts here and there.
[ Chuckles .]
I'm sorry i slept with kevin.
Me too.
How'd it go? I don't see any scratches.
Don't tell me she turtled up on you.
I hate it when they do that.
She's just a dumb kid with fantastic taste in comedians.
This just keeps getting worse! Well, what can you say? Men suck.
You know, i thought this nightmare was over, But now i just can't seem to wake up from it.
My aunt was miss hoboken, And still my uncle would sleep with these skanks From south jersey.
Who does that? It's like he's from philly, for crying out loud.
I'm confused.
Is sherri miss hoboken? I better be, 'Cause if you calling me a skank from south jersey, I'm taking my earrings off.
Okay, okay, bad analogy.
How about Men make bad choices, and we can't control it.
We can only control the choices we make When choosing to deal with it.
You know what? She's right.
I'm not gonna let him do this to me again.
I am taking control.
We should go out this weekend, Hit the clubs, and have some fun.
Yeah, let's take back the power.
Ooh! And we can do jello shots, too! Angela, you still on break? Listen, if this job is too much for you, Please let us know.
Summer, what are you doing this weekend? Oh, uh, making cookies with my niece While watching the "shrek" trilogy.
She'll go to bed around 9:00, And then i thought i'd either give my cat a flea dip [Inhales sharply.]
or grab a bottle of wine And sit in the garage with the engine running.
Why? Well, the girls and i are going out clubbing this weekend.
You want to come? Me? You want me to go out with you guys To an actual club and party like it's 1999? Yeah, sure, that'd be great! All right, summer's in.
Hey, hey, summer, About those reports listen, i'm a little behind, But i promise that i will get them Oh, what's the big deal? Turn them in monday.
Now, if you'll excuse me, i've got to go call my sister And tell her where she can shove my favorite niece.
all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies all the single ladies now put your hands up up in the club, we just broke up i'm doing my own little thing decided to dip and now you wanna trip Oh, hey, that's not fair.
They don't have c-Section scars.
God, i feel so uncomfortable.
I just remembered how much i hate clubs.
Whatever you do, don't leave me alone.
Hi.
Hi! Scram.
What'll you have? Don't you want to check my i.
D.
? No.
[ Chuckles .]
it's better safe than sorry.
Yeah, that's all right just take a look at the damn thing! [ Lady gaga's "poker face" plays .]
i wanna hold 'em like they do in texas plays i love it luck and intuition, play the cards with spades to start What's up, beautiful? You, after your bedtime.
[ Laughs .]
My name's russell.
Sherri.
And don't worry.
I'm 21.
21? I'm old enough to be your patient, more experienced lover.
[ Both laugh .]
So, how old are you, 27, 28? You pick one.
I can't decide.
They both sound so good.
May i buy you another chardonnay? You may.
Cool.
I'll be right back, sherri.
Who's that stud? Man, he's cute! He's 12.
Who cares? It's not like you're trying to marry him.
You're just out having fun.
Yeah, besides, i made out with a 60-Year-Old guy once.
Why is that okay and this wrong? Whoever said that was okay? He did.
Okay, sherri, Now, remember, this is all about letting your hair down.
So i say go out and have a few laughs.
You know what? You're right.
Okay.
[ Laughter .]
Oh, yeah! Oh, whoever taught you to kiss should hold a clinic.
Well, school's in, baby, And i'm dropping a little biology on you.
I'm a big fan of higher education.
Hey, after everything you've been through, You need a real man to remind you That you are one hell of a woman.
Woman: russell! Russell, is that you?! Oh, my god.
Quick can you smell the liquor on my breath? [ Blows .]
That better not be you! What's the matter? You know that woman? What the hell are you doing here? Hey, ma.
I was just talking with this nice lady, that's all.
Don't you lie to me.
No, honest, ma.
I came here to fill out a job application, But the man said they're not hiring right now.
You know they're not gonna hire you! You're 17! 17?! Don't you hit my boy! He told me he was 21! 21?! Wait a minute.
Aren't you a little too old to be here with a 21-Year-Old? Not really.
Mm.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
It's just that i caught my husband cheating a while back, And this is my first time out as a single woman With a straight man in 10 years.
You took advantage of a woman whose man cheated on her? You know what my sister went through with your uncle! No, ma, it's no big deal.
No big deal?! I raised you better than that! Why would you do that to me?! Why'd you do that to her?! I'm feeling vulnerable! She's vulnerable! So, last night it couldn't have been all that bad.
Oh, it was bad.
How bad? Bad bad.
So bad i can't even tell you.
Oh, sherri, i'm your daddy.
You can tell me anything.
I made out with a kid from high school.
Please tell me last night was your high-School reunion.
Unfortunately, no.
It's my own fault.
I should have known.
I almost swallowed his retainer.
You were right.
That is so bad you can't even tell me.
I'm tired, daddy.
Of course you're tired.
You work too much.
You got your regular job, bo, television, Those nightclub appearances.
Tired tired.
This is just too hard.
I loved kevin with all my heart.
Now i think i've just lost faith In this part of my life ever working out.
Sherri, love is not for the weak.
You know how many women rejected me before i found your mother? I used to think that my middle name was "no, thanks.
" [ Chuckles .]
Don't lose faith, baby.
You'll find somebody.
Mm.
Thanks, dad.
I think you were the last good one.
Ooh! You might be right.
[ Both chuckle .]
[ Telephone rings .]
Hello? Hi.
Sherri, it's randy Uh, dr.
Gregg.
Sorry to call you on the weekend, But i wanted to follow up on bo's physical And let you know he's fine.
Yeah, i kind of got that When you said he was fine in your office yesterday.
Well, i know you were concerned about the abrasion That he suffered on the playground.
The scratch? Yeah.
God, i suck at this.
[ Chuckles .]
Listen Could i take you out for a cup of coffee sometime? Unless you'd rather go dancing or something.
No.
No dancing.
No clubs.
I just want to sit and have a cup of coffee, Wear normal clothes, and have a real conversation.
Are you up for that? Very much so.
I'll call you tomorrow, and we can set it up? Okay.
Bye.
Bye.
[ Beeps .]
You all right.