She's Gotta Have It (2017) s01e01 Episode Script
#DaJumpoff (DOCTRINE)
1 [HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING.]
One, two, one, two, three Where Brooklyn at? Where Brooklyn at? Where Brooklyn at? Where Brooklyn at? [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
I would like you to know, the only reason I'm doin' this is 'cause folks think they know me.
They think they know what I'm about, and the truth is, they don't know me.
Anyhoo, if, in the end, this helps some other people out, then that's cool too.
I consider myself abnormal.
But who wants to be like everybody else? Not I.
Some people call me a "freak.
" And I hate that word.
I don't believe in it, or better yet, I don't believe in one-word labels.
But what you gonna do? You feel me? [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS.]
[BARKING.]
[CHIRPING.]
I love walking the beautiful and nitty-gritty streets of New York City.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
But, sometimes, walking the beautiful, nitty-gritty streets as a woman can be, well brutal.
Peep this bullshit.
Psst! Psst! Why don't you sit on my dick and peddle my balls? [LAUGHS.]
Excuse me, miss, but you so fine, I'd drink a tub of your bath water out a champagne glass.
You wanna know why? 'Cause your mom's placenta was filled with holy water.
God blessin' you, girl! Mm! Good God! Cutie-ho, I bet you your farts smell like grape Jolly Ranchers, Fruity Pebbles, and AriZona Iced Tea, all combined.
Damn, what a combination! Sista, I'll go gay for you.
You got me questionin' my whole sexual preference.
Damn, you so perfect.
Baby girl, I just wanna play the drumroll to Phil Collins' song "In The Air Tonight" on your right black butt cheek.
Hey, boo, where's your crown at? Stop frontin' like you're not a Nubian queen.
Bang! Bang! Darling, you would be a terrific accessory to my impressive car collection.
Do you see this watch? This is a platinum and gold Rolex.
You come with me, you'll have two and join me at the top.
[IN SPANISH.]
[TRILLING.]
Ooh! Wee! Hot thang, you look so good, Jesus on the cross must be doin' your taxes.
["BETWEEN THE SHEETS" PLAYING.]
[BABY CRYING.]
I truly believe that there is only one person, only one in this world that is meant to be your soul mate, your lifelong companion.
Joke is, rarely do these two people hook up.
They just wander about aimlessly, lost in the sauce.
You know, God is a trickster.
In life, God doesn't give you the people you want.
Instead, he gives you the people you need.
Nola Darling is my need.
Ooh, baby Baby I feel your love surrounding me Oh, oh, oh, oh, ooh Ooh, baby, baby Makin' love between the sheets Enough of this singing Let's make love [MOANING.]
In between the sheets [CRIES OUT.]
- Oh, I like the way you receive me - [MOANING, LAUGHING.]
- Girl, I love the way you release me - Another great lunch.
How come we always make love in your bed? Now, you know I can only make love in my own lovin' bed.
Mm.
Besides, we ain't doin' it in your bed.
So, does it possess magical, mystical powers? Uh-huh.
Now, I'm possessed.
You think so, huh? ["SET IT OFF" PLAYING.]
[SCREAMING.]
- [TIRES SCREECHING, GLASS BREAKING.]
- Y'all want this party started, right? Y'all want this party started Yo! "What about Nola Darling?" What do you wanna know? [SCOFFS.]
I think Nola's a freak.
You know? You know? You know.
Freaky-deaky, deaky-freaky, freaky to the deaky, deaky to the freaky.
Yo, check it.
Most dudes want freaks.
I do.
I do.
Do I? I do! - Right? Set it off - [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Okay.
- All right, moment of truth, baby.
Ooh! - Damn.
You okay if I put my bike here? - Yeah, it's fine.
Dag.
It took you long enough to invite me in.
Dag, I don't just let anybody up in here.
- So, what, is "Mars" a nickname? - Nah, it's my government.
My mom, she named me Mars 'cause she said I'm outta this universe.
A'ight? [CHUCKLES.]
[MARS.]
Dope.
- It's not finished.
- Still dope.
- My born day is May 19th.
- Happy early born day.
Mars, Malcolm X was born on May 19th too.
No disrespect.
Denzel did the damn thing.
- And got robbed of that Academy Award.
- That was some shenanigans.
Some subterfuge, straight skulduggery.
He was too black, too strong.
Al Pacino, though? Come on.
Don't hate on Al Pacino.
Scarface, that's my joint.
You know what a make-up call is in basketball? Does Mars Blackmon know what a make-up call is in basketball? Is Barry "White"? Is Al "Green"? Is James "Brown"? Is Prince "Purple"? It was an Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences make-up call.
Pacino got fucked four times.
He got fucked over for The Godfather and The Godfather Part II, Serpico, and fucked again big time for Dog Day Afternoon.
Damn, Sam.
So they gave Pacino his long-overdue Oscar, and then Denzel gets his make-up call Oscar for Training Day, which he should've won anyway, so the Academy still owes D another one.
And I know they better not fuck him over for Fences.
Word to the mother.
You know a lot about movies, huh? - I'm a cinephile.
- A cine-what? A cinephile.
A film enthusiast.
Well, you know, I wanna be a phile-cine wit' you.
[LAUGHS.]
- A what? Cinephile.
- My bad.
My bad.
Mars, you are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
You know that? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
- Yo, this whole spot is yours? - Mm-hmm.
I likes.
I likes.
What's the rent? This is gentrified Fort Greene.
You already know.
You need a roommate? Motherfucker, you smokin' K2? I let you up in here one time, and right away, you wanna move in? - Seriously? - Eh How you How you afford this joint? Your family got it like that? - No, my parents are artists.
- So are mine.
- Really? - Well, yeah, my pops is an artist.
A con artist? - [R&B MUSIC PLAYING.]
- 196 197 198 199 [GROANS.]
Hoo [EXHALES.]
Go, Greer.
I can take you to a good time I'm the best thing that ever happened to Nola Darling.
Ask her.
She'll tell you that herself.
That woman worships me.
What a pair.
What a What a couple we make.
When we are together [SIGHS.]
it's on like hot buttered popcorn.
We are a dynamic duo.
A terrific twosome.
Legendary lovers.
I can keep going if you wish, if you [TAKES DEEP BREATH.]
if you so desire.
["PRETTY WINGS" PLAYING.]
Time will bring the real end Of our trial One day they'll be no remnants No trace No residual feelings within ya One day you won't remember me - Your face will be the reason I smile - Mm.
But I will not see What I cannot have forever I'll always love ya I hope you feel the same Oh, you played me dirty Your game was so bad You toyed with my affliction Had to fill out my prescription Found the remedy I had to set you free Away from me, to see clearly - [GUNSHOT.]
- The way that love can be - When you are not with me - Ah, Michael Jackson spin! - I had to leave, I have to live - [GROWLING.]
- I had to lead, I had to live - [ROARING.]
Let love set you free To fly your pretty wings I got a lion in my pocket, and, baby, he is ready to roar.
- [ROARING.]
- [CHUCKLING.]
Was that the Cowardly Lion, or Snagglepuss even? Hm? Can't no other dudes hit it the way I'm 'bout to now.
Greer, you're wallin'.
Don't talk, okay? [BOTH MOANING.]
- [GREER GROWLS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [GREER.]
Oh, Nola! - [NOLA.]
Greer! - [GREER.]
Nola! Nola! Nola! - [NOLA MOANING.]
- [GREER.]
Greer! - [NOLA.]
What? [CAMERA CLICKS.]
[CAMERA CLICKS.]
Do you realize you are gazing upon the bi-racial Adonis? You know I'm fine as shit.
Greer, you are the epitome of narcissism.
Don't you get tired of you? Never happen.
Ugh.
- [CAMERA CLICKS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
I bet you love yourself more than Kanye loves Kanye.
There's no crime in lovin' oneself.
In fact, that is the greatest love of all.
I can sing it like Whitney, if you wish.
I don't wish.
Ha! Voilà ! [GASPS, STAMMERS.]
WDF, Nola! What da fuck? What? It's your ugly inner self, Greer.
I call it Sexy Beast.
- No! - All right, you know the deal.
It's time to go.
I got another piece to start.
Nola With the tongue [SIGHS.]
[MUTTERING.]
Posin' all this damn time for this bullshit.
It was almost good, Nola.
[GRUNTS.]
Bye, Greer.
Don't front, though.
Ain't no dudes ever put it down the way I did today.
- [ROARS.]
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
Nola and I used to be roommates, until we had a slight falling out.
I can't lie, it was a big falling out.
We're still cool, still friends.
We just can't live together.
And by the way, don't ask me anything about Mars Blackmon, ever.
Off-limits.
I'd get up early in the morning, on my way to Jivamukti Vinyasa class, and I'd run into all these randos in our bathroom.
[URINATING.]
Nola! Not okay.
Nola and I talked about it, but, like she said I found this crib, and if you can't hang, maybe you should start looking - for another place of residence.
- Bye! I said, "Bye," and I got my own brownstone apartment in Fort Greene.
What could I do? Nola's name was on the lease.
Regardless Nola is still my girl.
I'm carrying my entire portfolio on the C-train during rush hour.
And this dude bumps into me, like bam! Hard.
I swear he did it on purpose.
Knocks all of my drawings on the nasty subway floor.
Ooh! People were literally stepping on my fingers, pushing to get off the subway.
I'm trying to pick up my shit.
It's like I don't even exist.
- I would've lost it.
- I get to my interview 15 minutes late.
I open up the portfolio.
Footprints on all of my drawings.
- [WOMAN.]
No.
- Oh, my God.
What did you do? - I had to show 'em as is, so I freestyled.
- [CHUCKLING.]
I spit out everything I learned at Pratt Institute.
I dug deep.
By the end, I had them thinking the footprints were like some dope Basquiat conceptual touch.
- I love that.
- Ladies.
Oh! Thank you.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- What is this? - The Fo-Gre cucumber martini.
This tastes like moonshine brewed in Bushwick.
Ma'am, it's what you ordered.
This is not Goose.
I can taste the $3 difference.
- Really? - Really.
- Clo - No.
Your beautiful beard and sense of entitlement do not intimidate me.
- I'll be right back with your drink.
- [CLO.]
Thank you.
[NOLA CHUCKLING.]
- Was all of that drama really necessary? - Absolutely.
I'm standing my ground.
I'm not gonna cede the Fort to hipster imperialism.
- By the way, what the fuck is a Fo-Gre? - Or NoHo, NoHa.
- SoBro, Bedwick.
- Or the BoCoCa.
Translation: all acronyms for places we can no longer afford to live.
Hello, $6.
99 for a quart of milk from the Arab bodega in my hood? - They must be out their goddamn minds.
- It is organic.
Nope, no dice.
- [WOMAN.]
Okay.
- I don't know what he put in my drink, - but this shit tastes good.
- Some people are not so particular.
I hope this is to your liking.
- Much better.
Thank you.
- [NOLA.]
Nice.
[CHUCKLING.]
- Salud.
- To Nola.
I'm very excited to see the beautiful things that you make - and experience this next year.
- I double that.
And here's to droppin' shit on the C-train and turnin' that shit into art.
[BOTH.]
Ay! To this, to my beautiful friends.
To not succumbing to distractions.
- Is that what we're calling them now? - Oh, see, no, no, no.
What we're not gonna do is discuss my sex life over born day cocktails.
- Not gonna do that cliché.
- Too bad.
And stop seeing everyone's success as my failure.
I had this professor who always used to say that just because you know how to hold a paintbrush, that doesn't make you an artist.
It's the act of guiding that brush to places that no one's ever been or wouldn't dare to go that defines you.
[WOMAN.]
To Nola.
Cheers! Baby, don't you rush a thing Wow.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
Mm.
I come bearing gifts.
I see.
[NOLA CHUCKLES.]
- What is all this? - I got you some art supplies.
Oh, my goodness.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, no problem.
What else you bring me? Wouldn't you like to know.
Hm? [JAMIE.]
Make a wish.
Perfect end to a perfect born day.
- You like? - Mm.
Yeah, this cake is on point.
- Happy birthday.
- Mm.
Thank you for coming.
[RINGTONE PLAYING.]
There she goes on her merry way - Excuse me.
- Though she's only queen for a day [CHUCKLES.]
Pronto! - Yo! Nola, happy born day! - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Yo, it's me, Mars.
- I know.
Come hither.
Let's go for a romantical bike ride and shit.
That sounds dope, but I'm in for the night.
In the bed? In the lovin' bed? With who the fuck ? Let's celebrate your born night.
I could ride my custom-built-by-me bike over there in five minutes.
Young is the night, night is the young and shit.
I can't.
It's too late.
Call me in the morning.
Good night! [MOANS.]
[RINGTONE PLAYING.]
There she goes on her merry way - Sorry.
- Though she's only queen for a day Seriously? - Wake up, wake up, wake up! - Yo, gimme the phone.
- Chill, my phone is dead.
Nola.
- Gimme my phone.
- What? - Nola.
- Nola.
- What do you want? - Nola, just let me smell it.
- Ugh! You're disgusting.
Hit me off.
Just a whiff.
You are so dumb! Please, mami, please, mami, please, mami.
[SNIFFS.]
Por favor.
Oh, my God.
Quit cakin' on my damn phone.
You one thirsty-ass half-nigga.
- You a half-ass nigga too.
- And half-Puerto Rican.
- Shut the fuck up.
- "Shut the fuck up"? No, not you, Nola! I'm tellin' my stupid-ass sister to shut the fuck up.
Yo, hold the fuck Is a dude there? - In our lovin' bed? - Uh-uh.
Adios.
- You can't keep your hos in check? - Nola's not a ho.
- But Roxanne, on the other hand - [SCOFFS.]
She about to get it.
Oh, my goodness.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Who was that? - A friend.
What kind of friend? - A man friend.
- We've discussed this.
You know what? Forget I mentioned it.
I wrote you a poem.
Instead of gettin' you a corny-ass Hallmark birthday card.
Well, that was sweet of you.
As I said when I first met you, investment bankers can be poets too.
Mm.
Isn't that two different parts of the brain? Well, see, God, he held his hands on me a little longer.
I bet.
"Your name leaves my lips the moment I wake from slumber.
- I call out to you.
Nola Darling!" - [CHUCKLES.]
"My anguished cry surfed the wild wind, through the black Brooklyn blocks, from Ocean Hill, Brownsville.
Never run, never will.
To Bed-Stuy, do or die.
In Fort Greene, don't be so mean.
They find their way to you, Nola Darling.
" [LAUGHING.]
Yo, that's the wackest shit I ever heard! And what's wacker is that your fine ass fell for it.
Damn, yo! Nola, I don't mean to badmouth whoever wrote that ca-ca on a stick, but he ain't got game.
Straight cornball.
His "poe-try" is not the answer.
I'm the answer, like Iverson.
I'm also a dope poet, and you ain't even know it-it-it-it-it.
I got mad skills.
Amongst my many multiple talents, I'm also a dope rapper.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Check this funky fresh joint.
- Uh, puff, puff, pass.
- Got you.
Some girls got beauty Some girls got grace But you so black perfect You win the goddamn motherfuckin' race Yes, yes, yah! Some freaks got style Some freaks got class - But Nola got that in the tight - Did you just call me a freak? - Yeah, that I did, did I that.
- What the fuck does that even mean? You call me up mad late at night, talkin' that, "Can I smell it?" freaky bullshit.
Ain't that the definition of "freak" from Urban Dictionary? Hell yeah, I'm a freak.
Nola, I fly my freak flag sky-high.
- Ain't no shame in my freak game.
- Mm-mm.
["TENDER LOVE" PLAYING.]
[LINE RINGING.]
I want you more [BOTH MOANING.]
Can't resist you Tight booty! Tight booty! Tender love Loving me straight from the heart Hold me nearer Please let me be a part Of the tender love you're giving to me - How's your head, baby? Your head is good? - Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
- Tender love - Love so tender Holding me close to you, baby I surrender - [BOTH MOANING.]
- [MARS.]
Whoo-hoo! Ooh Yeah Surrender, baby Do I hit it as good as them off-brand dudes? You know, you got mad room for all my Jordans underneath your bed.
- Oh, my God.
- We could go good, like beans and rice, here together.
I told you from jump, don't go catchin' any feelings.
- It's like that? - It's like that ten times ten.
Close your eyes.
Come on, close your eyes.
[SIGHS.]
- Yo, don't be lookin'.
- I won't.
- 'Cause you be lookin'.
- When? - You a looker.
- What? - Don't be lookin'.
- Okay.
- [MARS.]
A'ight? - [NOLA.]
Uh-huh.
- Damn, girl.
You got that booty.
- [LAUGHS.]
- You ready? - Mm-hm.
- You sure? - I'm sure.
A'ight, open your eyes.
They're open.
Did I ever tell you I used to work at Victoria's Secret? - [LAUGHING.]
- Yo, this how I used to get 'em.
I used to be like "Yo, baby girl, what you need? You need a racerback? I got you.
" Bang! "What you need, gel linin'? I got you.
" Bang! "You want a bombshell? Chill.
You don't need two cup sizes bigger.
- Love yourself.
" - What? You got the cheeky, the cheeky.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Ooh! - I bet you ain't know I knew all that.
- [LAUGHING.]
How you still live in the projects if you got, like, 18 jobs? Why you comin' for me? I'm savin' money.
That's why I got a savings account.
Why are you savin' money? For what? I'm tryin' to buy you this brownstone so you ain't gotta rent no more.
It's just you and me.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
I love the scent of your sweet pussy in the morning.
It smells like victory.
Robert Duvall uttered those classic lines from Francis Ford Coppola's Apocalypse Now about eight million times better than you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay, Sister Roger Ebert, answer me this.
- Am I your only fuck buddy? - Why you askin' me that? You're a sex addict, aren't you? Wow.
You are on some other light-skinned, green-eyed, blond-haired, pretty-boy bullshit today.
[LAUGHS.]
Methinks you are a sex addict.
Okay, so if I'm a sex addict, what does that make you? I'm Greer Childs.
I'm a grown-ass man.
And I'm a grown-ass woman.
I can't enjoy sex? If I'm such an addict, why don't you leave me the hell alone? Now, you're gettin' defensive.
No, no, no, no, no, I'm not gettin' defensive.
If I'm an addict, then I should quit cold turkey, right? You are numero uno on my list.
Shower? Fuck you very much.
Shower.
- [JAMIE.]
What are you searching for? - [NOLA.]
Again? Think you'll ever find it, "it" being whatever it is you're looking for? Honestly, I'm just livin' my life, tryin' to figure out this artist thing, - goin' with the flow.
- What about me? This is it, Jamie.
This moment is what it is.
What about my flow? - What about your other two flows? - It's complicated.
Yeah, exactly.
You know what? I'm out like Durant.
What? Well, you know what? If I was Kevin Durant, I would have left country-ass Oklahoma City too! OKC over San Fran-sucka-free City.
Get all the way the fuck outta here! [GROANS.]
- [R&B MUSIC PLAYING.]
- I feel the pulse risin' You know, you and Mars still a sore subject to me.
You broke the code, girl.
Well, that wasn't my intention.
That crazy motherfucker just makes me laugh.
I know.
He made me laugh too.
- Past tense.
- What do you want me to do, Clo? Have you ever thought about givin' your coochie a rest? What, my coochie gonna get up and file for workers' comp? - She ain't gonna get much.
- [BOTH LAUGHING.]
I don't know, doesn't it get confusing, juggling all of them at the same time? Like, don't you get 'em mixed up? No slip-ups yet.
Greer.
He got that strong dick down game, right? [LAUGHS.]
Mr.
Dick-tator? You forgot "dickologist.
" [BOTH LAUGHING.]
How's your sugar daddy? - Um he's not my sugar daddy.
- Color it in for me.
He takes care of me.
Next question.
How's your artwork coming? Pun intended.
It's coming.
No pun intended.
I know you live down the block, but call me.
- Love you.
- Love you more.
- Call me when you get home.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Welcome, sweetie.
- [CHUCKLES.]
[MAN.]
Sexy! Sexy, what's your name, girl? [NOLA.]
Can I help you? God.
[MAN.]
Yo! Yo, ma! Yo, ma! My parents gave me a name, and it ain't "Yo, ma!" - Bitch, I'm tryin' to talk to you! - Get the fuck off of me! - Chill, girl.
- Get your motherfuckin' hands off of me! - [PANTING.]
- Fuck you, then! - [RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.]
- I don't want that stank pussy anyway! Motherfuckin' black bitch! Fuck! Shit! - [DOOR CLOSES, LOCKS.]
- [SNIFFLES.]
[SLIDES CHAIN ONTO DOOR.]
You ever heard of Akira Kurosawa? Well, you should.
Kurosawa is one of the all-time masters of cinema, Japanese director.
One of my favorite Kurosawa joints is Rashomon.
That film came out in 1951, shot in beautiful black-and-white photography.
It's about a rape, a murder, and several witnesses who all saw the same crime, but from entirely different viewpoints.
Some might say I have a Rashomon effect on Jamie, Greer, and Mars.
They all view me differently, but I will not allow them to paint my life, paint who I am.
I'm dealin' with who I am now, at this moment in time and space.
And I gotta look within to feel what makes me happy.
And if Jamie, Greer, and Mars wanna deal with me, it's gotta be on my own terms.
No less, no more.
And anyone who can't get with the program can step.
Go with God.
One, two, or three fingers cannot block out the sun.
The truth is the truth.
I'm not a freak, I'm not a sex addict, and I'm damn sure nobody's property.
- ["GOLDEN" PLAYING.]
- Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden Golden I'm taking my own freedom Putting it in my song Singing loud and strong Grooving all day long I'm taking my freedom [NOLA.]
My name isn't Dime Piece.
My name isn't Boo.
My name isn't Baby Gurl.
My name isn't Pssst Shawty.
My name isn't Mamacita.
My name isn't Sweetie.
My name isn't Ay Yo Ma.
My name isn't Sexy Sexy Sexy.
My name isn't Hoochie Mama.
My name isn't Honey.
My name isn't Sweetheart.
I was born into it And my name definitely ain't no "Muthafuckin' Black Bitch.
" Representing his glory - Hope he's proud of me - Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden My name is Nola Darling.
Peace, two fingers.
It's golden, golden, golden, golden Livin' my life like it's golden Golden
One, two, one, two, three Where Brooklyn at? Where Brooklyn at? Where Brooklyn at? Where Brooklyn at? [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING.]
I would like you to know, the only reason I'm doin' this is 'cause folks think they know me.
They think they know what I'm about, and the truth is, they don't know me.
Anyhoo, if, in the end, this helps some other people out, then that's cool too.
I consider myself abnormal.
But who wants to be like everybody else? Not I.
Some people call me a "freak.
" And I hate that word.
I don't believe in it, or better yet, I don't believe in one-word labels.
But what you gonna do? You feel me? [SOFT PIANO MUSIC PLAYS.]
[BARKING.]
[CHIRPING.]
I love walking the beautiful and nitty-gritty streets of New York City.
[CAR HORN HONKS.]
But, sometimes, walking the beautiful, nitty-gritty streets as a woman can be, well brutal.
Peep this bullshit.
Psst! Psst! Why don't you sit on my dick and peddle my balls? [LAUGHS.]
Excuse me, miss, but you so fine, I'd drink a tub of your bath water out a champagne glass.
You wanna know why? 'Cause your mom's placenta was filled with holy water.
God blessin' you, girl! Mm! Good God! Cutie-ho, I bet you your farts smell like grape Jolly Ranchers, Fruity Pebbles, and AriZona Iced Tea, all combined.
Damn, what a combination! Sista, I'll go gay for you.
You got me questionin' my whole sexual preference.
Damn, you so perfect.
Baby girl, I just wanna play the drumroll to Phil Collins' song "In The Air Tonight" on your right black butt cheek.
Hey, boo, where's your crown at? Stop frontin' like you're not a Nubian queen.
Bang! Bang! Darling, you would be a terrific accessory to my impressive car collection.
Do you see this watch? This is a platinum and gold Rolex.
You come with me, you'll have two and join me at the top.
[IN SPANISH.]
[TRILLING.]
Ooh! Wee! Hot thang, you look so good, Jesus on the cross must be doin' your taxes.
["BETWEEN THE SHEETS" PLAYING.]
[BABY CRYING.]
I truly believe that there is only one person, only one in this world that is meant to be your soul mate, your lifelong companion.
Joke is, rarely do these two people hook up.
They just wander about aimlessly, lost in the sauce.
You know, God is a trickster.
In life, God doesn't give you the people you want.
Instead, he gives you the people you need.
Nola Darling is my need.
Ooh, baby Baby I feel your love surrounding me Oh, oh, oh, oh, ooh Ooh, baby, baby Makin' love between the sheets Enough of this singing Let's make love [MOANING.]
In between the sheets [CRIES OUT.]
- Oh, I like the way you receive me - [MOANING, LAUGHING.]
- Girl, I love the way you release me - Another great lunch.
How come we always make love in your bed? Now, you know I can only make love in my own lovin' bed.
Mm.
Besides, we ain't doin' it in your bed.
So, does it possess magical, mystical powers? Uh-huh.
Now, I'm possessed.
You think so, huh? ["SET IT OFF" PLAYING.]
[SCREAMING.]
- [TIRES SCREECHING, GLASS BREAKING.]
- Y'all want this party started, right? Y'all want this party started Yo! "What about Nola Darling?" What do you wanna know? [SCOFFS.]
I think Nola's a freak.
You know? You know? You know.
Freaky-deaky, deaky-freaky, freaky to the deaky, deaky to the freaky.
Yo, check it.
Most dudes want freaks.
I do.
I do.
Do I? I do! - Right? Set it off - [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Okay.
- All right, moment of truth, baby.
Ooh! - Damn.
You okay if I put my bike here? - Yeah, it's fine.
Dag.
It took you long enough to invite me in.
Dag, I don't just let anybody up in here.
- So, what, is "Mars" a nickname? - Nah, it's my government.
My mom, she named me Mars 'cause she said I'm outta this universe.
A'ight? [CHUCKLES.]
[MARS.]
Dope.
- It's not finished.
- Still dope.
- My born day is May 19th.
- Happy early born day.
Mars, Malcolm X was born on May 19th too.
No disrespect.
Denzel did the damn thing.
- And got robbed of that Academy Award.
- That was some shenanigans.
Some subterfuge, straight skulduggery.
He was too black, too strong.
Al Pacino, though? Come on.
Don't hate on Al Pacino.
Scarface, that's my joint.
You know what a make-up call is in basketball? Does Mars Blackmon know what a make-up call is in basketball? Is Barry "White"? Is Al "Green"? Is James "Brown"? Is Prince "Purple"? It was an Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences make-up call.
Pacino got fucked four times.
He got fucked over for The Godfather and The Godfather Part II, Serpico, and fucked again big time for Dog Day Afternoon.
Damn, Sam.
So they gave Pacino his long-overdue Oscar, and then Denzel gets his make-up call Oscar for Training Day, which he should've won anyway, so the Academy still owes D another one.
And I know they better not fuck him over for Fences.
Word to the mother.
You know a lot about movies, huh? - I'm a cinephile.
- A cine-what? A cinephile.
A film enthusiast.
Well, you know, I wanna be a phile-cine wit' you.
[LAUGHS.]
- A what? Cinephile.
- My bad.
My bad.
Mars, you are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
You know that? [BOTH LAUGHING.]
- Yo, this whole spot is yours? - Mm-hmm.
I likes.
I likes.
What's the rent? This is gentrified Fort Greene.
You already know.
You need a roommate? Motherfucker, you smokin' K2? I let you up in here one time, and right away, you wanna move in? - Seriously? - Eh How you How you afford this joint? Your family got it like that? - No, my parents are artists.
- So are mine.
- Really? - Well, yeah, my pops is an artist.
A con artist? - [R&B MUSIC PLAYING.]
- 196 197 198 199 [GROANS.]
Hoo [EXHALES.]
Go, Greer.
I can take you to a good time I'm the best thing that ever happened to Nola Darling.
Ask her.
She'll tell you that herself.
That woman worships me.
What a pair.
What a What a couple we make.
When we are together [SIGHS.]
it's on like hot buttered popcorn.
We are a dynamic duo.
A terrific twosome.
Legendary lovers.
I can keep going if you wish, if you [TAKES DEEP BREATH.]
if you so desire.
["PRETTY WINGS" PLAYING.]
Time will bring the real end Of our trial One day they'll be no remnants No trace No residual feelings within ya One day you won't remember me - Your face will be the reason I smile - Mm.
But I will not see What I cannot have forever I'll always love ya I hope you feel the same Oh, you played me dirty Your game was so bad You toyed with my affliction Had to fill out my prescription Found the remedy I had to set you free Away from me, to see clearly - [GUNSHOT.]
- The way that love can be - When you are not with me - Ah, Michael Jackson spin! - I had to leave, I have to live - [GROWLING.]
- I had to lead, I had to live - [ROARING.]
Let love set you free To fly your pretty wings I got a lion in my pocket, and, baby, he is ready to roar.
- [ROARING.]
- [CHUCKLING.]
Was that the Cowardly Lion, or Snagglepuss even? Hm? Can't no other dudes hit it the way I'm 'bout to now.
Greer, you're wallin'.
Don't talk, okay? [BOTH MOANING.]
- [GREER GROWLS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
- [GREER.]
Oh, Nola! - [NOLA.]
Greer! - [GREER.]
Nola! Nola! Nola! - [NOLA MOANING.]
- [GREER.]
Greer! - [NOLA.]
What? [CAMERA CLICKS.]
[CAMERA CLICKS.]
Do you realize you are gazing upon the bi-racial Adonis? You know I'm fine as shit.
Greer, you are the epitome of narcissism.
Don't you get tired of you? Never happen.
Ugh.
- [CAMERA CLICKS.]
- [CHUCKLES.]
I bet you love yourself more than Kanye loves Kanye.
There's no crime in lovin' oneself.
In fact, that is the greatest love of all.
I can sing it like Whitney, if you wish.
I don't wish.
Ha! Voilà ! [GASPS, STAMMERS.]
WDF, Nola! What da fuck? What? It's your ugly inner self, Greer.
I call it Sexy Beast.
- No! - All right, you know the deal.
It's time to go.
I got another piece to start.
Nola With the tongue [SIGHS.]
[MUTTERING.]
Posin' all this damn time for this bullshit.
It was almost good, Nola.
[GRUNTS.]
Bye, Greer.
Don't front, though.
Ain't no dudes ever put it down the way I did today.
- [ROARS.]
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
[SLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
Nola and I used to be roommates, until we had a slight falling out.
I can't lie, it was a big falling out.
We're still cool, still friends.
We just can't live together.
And by the way, don't ask me anything about Mars Blackmon, ever.
Off-limits.
I'd get up early in the morning, on my way to Jivamukti Vinyasa class, and I'd run into all these randos in our bathroom.
[URINATING.]
Nola! Not okay.
Nola and I talked about it, but, like she said I found this crib, and if you can't hang, maybe you should start looking - for another place of residence.
- Bye! I said, "Bye," and I got my own brownstone apartment in Fort Greene.
What could I do? Nola's name was on the lease.
Regardless Nola is still my girl.
I'm carrying my entire portfolio on the C-train during rush hour.
And this dude bumps into me, like bam! Hard.
I swear he did it on purpose.
Knocks all of my drawings on the nasty subway floor.
Ooh! People were literally stepping on my fingers, pushing to get off the subway.
I'm trying to pick up my shit.
It's like I don't even exist.
- I would've lost it.
- I get to my interview 15 minutes late.
I open up the portfolio.
Footprints on all of my drawings.
- [WOMAN.]
No.
- Oh, my God.
What did you do? - I had to show 'em as is, so I freestyled.
- [CHUCKLING.]
I spit out everything I learned at Pratt Institute.
I dug deep.
By the end, I had them thinking the footprints were like some dope Basquiat conceptual touch.
- I love that.
- Ladies.
Oh! Thank you.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- What is this? - The Fo-Gre cucumber martini.
This tastes like moonshine brewed in Bushwick.
Ma'am, it's what you ordered.
This is not Goose.
I can taste the $3 difference.
- Really? - Really.
- Clo - No.
Your beautiful beard and sense of entitlement do not intimidate me.
- I'll be right back with your drink.
- [CLO.]
Thank you.
[NOLA CHUCKLING.]
- Was all of that drama really necessary? - Absolutely.
I'm standing my ground.
I'm not gonna cede the Fort to hipster imperialism.
- By the way, what the fuck is a Fo-Gre? - Or NoHo, NoHa.
- SoBro, Bedwick.
- Or the BoCoCa.
Translation: all acronyms for places we can no longer afford to live.
Hello, $6.
99 for a quart of milk from the Arab bodega in my hood? - They must be out their goddamn minds.
- It is organic.
Nope, no dice.
- [WOMAN.]
Okay.
- I don't know what he put in my drink, - but this shit tastes good.
- Some people are not so particular.
I hope this is to your liking.
- Much better.
Thank you.
- [NOLA.]
Nice.
[CHUCKLING.]
- Salud.
- To Nola.
I'm very excited to see the beautiful things that you make - and experience this next year.
- I double that.
And here's to droppin' shit on the C-train and turnin' that shit into art.
[BOTH.]
Ay! To this, to my beautiful friends.
To not succumbing to distractions.
- Is that what we're calling them now? - Oh, see, no, no, no.
What we're not gonna do is discuss my sex life over born day cocktails.
- Not gonna do that cliché.
- Too bad.
And stop seeing everyone's success as my failure.
I had this professor who always used to say that just because you know how to hold a paintbrush, that doesn't make you an artist.
It's the act of guiding that brush to places that no one's ever been or wouldn't dare to go that defines you.
[WOMAN.]
To Nola.
Cheers! Baby, don't you rush a thing Wow.
Happy birthday.
Thank you.
Mm.
I come bearing gifts.
I see.
[NOLA CHUCKLES.]
- What is all this? - I got you some art supplies.
Oh, my goodness.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, no problem.
What else you bring me? Wouldn't you like to know.
Hm? [JAMIE.]
Make a wish.
Perfect end to a perfect born day.
- You like? - Mm.
Yeah, this cake is on point.
- Happy birthday.
- Mm.
Thank you for coming.
[RINGTONE PLAYING.]
There she goes on her merry way - Excuse me.
- Though she's only queen for a day [CHUCKLES.]
Pronto! - Yo! Nola, happy born day! - Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Yo, it's me, Mars.
- I know.
Come hither.
Let's go for a romantical bike ride and shit.
That sounds dope, but I'm in for the night.
In the bed? In the lovin' bed? With who the fuck ? Let's celebrate your born night.
I could ride my custom-built-by-me bike over there in five minutes.
Young is the night, night is the young and shit.
I can't.
It's too late.
Call me in the morning.
Good night! [MOANS.]
[RINGTONE PLAYING.]
There she goes on her merry way - Sorry.
- Though she's only queen for a day Seriously? - Wake up, wake up, wake up! - Yo, gimme the phone.
- Chill, my phone is dead.
Nola.
- Gimme my phone.
- What? - Nola.
- Nola.
- What do you want? - Nola, just let me smell it.
- Ugh! You're disgusting.
Hit me off.
Just a whiff.
You are so dumb! Please, mami, please, mami, please, mami.
[SNIFFS.]
Por favor.
Oh, my God.
Quit cakin' on my damn phone.
You one thirsty-ass half-nigga.
- You a half-ass nigga too.
- And half-Puerto Rican.
- Shut the fuck up.
- "Shut the fuck up"? No, not you, Nola! I'm tellin' my stupid-ass sister to shut the fuck up.
Yo, hold the fuck Is a dude there? - In our lovin' bed? - Uh-uh.
Adios.
- You can't keep your hos in check? - Nola's not a ho.
- But Roxanne, on the other hand - [SCOFFS.]
She about to get it.
Oh, my goodness.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Who was that? - A friend.
What kind of friend? - A man friend.
- We've discussed this.
You know what? Forget I mentioned it.
I wrote you a poem.
Instead of gettin' you a corny-ass Hallmark birthday card.
Well, that was sweet of you.
As I said when I first met you, investment bankers can be poets too.
Mm.
Isn't that two different parts of the brain? Well, see, God, he held his hands on me a little longer.
I bet.
"Your name leaves my lips the moment I wake from slumber.
- I call out to you.
Nola Darling!" - [CHUCKLES.]
"My anguished cry surfed the wild wind, through the black Brooklyn blocks, from Ocean Hill, Brownsville.
Never run, never will.
To Bed-Stuy, do or die.
In Fort Greene, don't be so mean.
They find their way to you, Nola Darling.
" [LAUGHING.]
Yo, that's the wackest shit I ever heard! And what's wacker is that your fine ass fell for it.
Damn, yo! Nola, I don't mean to badmouth whoever wrote that ca-ca on a stick, but he ain't got game.
Straight cornball.
His "poe-try" is not the answer.
I'm the answer, like Iverson.
I'm also a dope poet, and you ain't even know it-it-it-it-it.
I got mad skills.
Amongst my many multiple talents, I'm also a dope rapper.
- [CHUCKLES.]
- Check this funky fresh joint.
- Uh, puff, puff, pass.
- Got you.
Some girls got beauty Some girls got grace But you so black perfect You win the goddamn motherfuckin' race Yes, yes, yah! Some freaks got style Some freaks got class - But Nola got that in the tight - Did you just call me a freak? - Yeah, that I did, did I that.
- What the fuck does that even mean? You call me up mad late at night, talkin' that, "Can I smell it?" freaky bullshit.
Ain't that the definition of "freak" from Urban Dictionary? Hell yeah, I'm a freak.
Nola, I fly my freak flag sky-high.
- Ain't no shame in my freak game.
- Mm-mm.
["TENDER LOVE" PLAYING.]
[LINE RINGING.]
I want you more [BOTH MOANING.]
Can't resist you Tight booty! Tight booty! Tender love Loving me straight from the heart Hold me nearer Please let me be a part Of the tender love you're giving to me - How's your head, baby? Your head is good? - Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
- Tender love - Love so tender Holding me close to you, baby I surrender - [BOTH MOANING.]
- [MARS.]
Whoo-hoo! Ooh Yeah Surrender, baby Do I hit it as good as them off-brand dudes? You know, you got mad room for all my Jordans underneath your bed.
- Oh, my God.
- We could go good, like beans and rice, here together.
I told you from jump, don't go catchin' any feelings.
- It's like that? - It's like that ten times ten.
Close your eyes.
Come on, close your eyes.
[SIGHS.]
- Yo, don't be lookin'.
- I won't.
- 'Cause you be lookin'.
- When? - You a looker.
- What? - Don't be lookin'.
- Okay.
- [MARS.]
A'ight? - [NOLA.]
Uh-huh.
- Damn, girl.
You got that booty.
- [LAUGHS.]
- You ready? - Mm-hm.
- You sure? - I'm sure.
A'ight, open your eyes.
They're open.
Did I ever tell you I used to work at Victoria's Secret? - [LAUGHING.]
- Yo, this how I used to get 'em.
I used to be like "Yo, baby girl, what you need? You need a racerback? I got you.
" Bang! "What you need, gel linin'? I got you.
" Bang! "You want a bombshell? Chill.
You don't need two cup sizes bigger.
- Love yourself.
" - What? You got the cheeky, the cheeky.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Ooh! - I bet you ain't know I knew all that.
- [LAUGHING.]
How you still live in the projects if you got, like, 18 jobs? Why you comin' for me? I'm savin' money.
That's why I got a savings account.
Why are you savin' money? For what? I'm tryin' to buy you this brownstone so you ain't gotta rent no more.
It's just you and me.
[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING.]
I love the scent of your sweet pussy in the morning.
It smells like victory.
Robert Duvall uttered those classic lines from Francis Ford Coppola's Apocalypse Now about eight million times better than you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Okay, Sister Roger Ebert, answer me this.
- Am I your only fuck buddy? - Why you askin' me that? You're a sex addict, aren't you? Wow.
You are on some other light-skinned, green-eyed, blond-haired, pretty-boy bullshit today.
[LAUGHS.]
Methinks you are a sex addict.
Okay, so if I'm a sex addict, what does that make you? I'm Greer Childs.
I'm a grown-ass man.
And I'm a grown-ass woman.
I can't enjoy sex? If I'm such an addict, why don't you leave me the hell alone? Now, you're gettin' defensive.
No, no, no, no, no, I'm not gettin' defensive.
If I'm an addict, then I should quit cold turkey, right? You are numero uno on my list.
Shower? Fuck you very much.
Shower.
- [JAMIE.]
What are you searching for? - [NOLA.]
Again? Think you'll ever find it, "it" being whatever it is you're looking for? Honestly, I'm just livin' my life, tryin' to figure out this artist thing, - goin' with the flow.
- What about me? This is it, Jamie.
This moment is what it is.
What about my flow? - What about your other two flows? - It's complicated.
Yeah, exactly.
You know what? I'm out like Durant.
What? Well, you know what? If I was Kevin Durant, I would have left country-ass Oklahoma City too! OKC over San Fran-sucka-free City.
Get all the way the fuck outta here! [GROANS.]
- [R&B MUSIC PLAYING.]
- I feel the pulse risin' You know, you and Mars still a sore subject to me.
You broke the code, girl.
Well, that wasn't my intention.
That crazy motherfucker just makes me laugh.
I know.
He made me laugh too.
- Past tense.
- What do you want me to do, Clo? Have you ever thought about givin' your coochie a rest? What, my coochie gonna get up and file for workers' comp? - She ain't gonna get much.
- [BOTH LAUGHING.]
I don't know, doesn't it get confusing, juggling all of them at the same time? Like, don't you get 'em mixed up? No slip-ups yet.
Greer.
He got that strong dick down game, right? [LAUGHS.]
Mr.
Dick-tator? You forgot "dickologist.
" [BOTH LAUGHING.]
How's your sugar daddy? - Um he's not my sugar daddy.
- Color it in for me.
He takes care of me.
Next question.
How's your artwork coming? Pun intended.
It's coming.
No pun intended.
I know you live down the block, but call me.
- Love you.
- Love you more.
- Call me when you get home.
- Thanks, Mom.
- Welcome, sweetie.
- [CHUCKLES.]
[MAN.]
Sexy! Sexy, what's your name, girl? [NOLA.]
Can I help you? God.
[MAN.]
Yo! Yo, ma! Yo, ma! My parents gave me a name, and it ain't "Yo, ma!" - Bitch, I'm tryin' to talk to you! - Get the fuck off of me! - Chill, girl.
- Get your motherfuckin' hands off of me! - [PANTING.]
- Fuck you, then! - [RUNNING FOOTSTEPS.]
- I don't want that stank pussy anyway! Motherfuckin' black bitch! Fuck! Shit! - [DOOR CLOSES, LOCKS.]
- [SNIFFLES.]
[SLIDES CHAIN ONTO DOOR.]
You ever heard of Akira Kurosawa? Well, you should.
Kurosawa is one of the all-time masters of cinema, Japanese director.
One of my favorite Kurosawa joints is Rashomon.
That film came out in 1951, shot in beautiful black-and-white photography.
It's about a rape, a murder, and several witnesses who all saw the same crime, but from entirely different viewpoints.
Some might say I have a Rashomon effect on Jamie, Greer, and Mars.
They all view me differently, but I will not allow them to paint my life, paint who I am.
I'm dealin' with who I am now, at this moment in time and space.
And I gotta look within to feel what makes me happy.
And if Jamie, Greer, and Mars wanna deal with me, it's gotta be on my own terms.
No less, no more.
And anyone who can't get with the program can step.
Go with God.
One, two, or three fingers cannot block out the sun.
The truth is the truth.
I'm not a freak, I'm not a sex addict, and I'm damn sure nobody's property.
- ["GOLDEN" PLAYING.]
- Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden Golden I'm taking my own freedom Putting it in my song Singing loud and strong Grooving all day long I'm taking my freedom [NOLA.]
My name isn't Dime Piece.
My name isn't Boo.
My name isn't Baby Gurl.
My name isn't Pssst Shawty.
My name isn't Mamacita.
My name isn't Sweetie.
My name isn't Ay Yo Ma.
My name isn't Sexy Sexy Sexy.
My name isn't Hoochie Mama.
My name isn't Honey.
My name isn't Sweetheart.
I was born into it And my name definitely ain't no "Muthafuckin' Black Bitch.
" Representing his glory - Hope he's proud of me - Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden Livin' my life like it's golden My name is Nola Darling.
Peace, two fingers.
It's golden, golden, golden, golden Livin' my life like it's golden Golden