Shoestring (1979) s01e01 Episode Script
Private Ear
1 Nineteen.
Waiting for a passenger from Sally Port Road.
Okay, 19.
Anyone near the station? Thank you, 17.
Thank you.
He told Joss that he's an MP.
Kept on about how his party tends to improve the grant.
I didn't tell him I worked part-time at the Bel Aire.
I bet you didn't.
Did you know Pete has a sauna of his own? No, I didn't.
And here with some more sound and advice is the old maestro himself, David Carn.
Old.
Better.
Mature? I could pass for late 30s.
In the dark with the light going.
- Who're you kidding? - Straightaway that gives me a cue.
A real oldie from the '30s that never fades.
Dropping to nearly zero with widespread freezing conditions.
A letter from a forthright, young man the other day, who suggested I was an old square.
What could I do? Horsewhip him? Fight a duel with him? Have him drummed out of the regiment? He could be right, of course.
And if he is, I'm unrepentant.
Here's a piece of music dedicated to all the other old squares like me.
May we reign forever.
Hello? - Moonbeam? - Yes? - Client.
Category A.
- No one tonight.
I told you I'm tired.
Ah, I should have said A plus.
Well, here's someone I always longed to meet, but never did.
Once he passed me by in the film studios, but I was all got up as a Roman Centurion, feeling a bit idiotic.
Warlords of Gaul.
Remember? Anyway, here he is.
The one and only Jack Buchanan.
Yes.
Right.
We've got a few callers waiting so what we'll do is we'll take your phone number and phone you back in about 10 minutes, okay? - Coffee.
- What is it? Okay.
Keep it flowing, smoothie.
Let me guide you on your homeward way out there to your boeuf bourguignon.
Sorry, I unwind with Radio 3.
Berlioz tonight.
Benvenuto Celini.
Low treason.
Ah, cheers.
How much brandy in that? Two fingers.
Everything all right then? Everything's fine, thanks, Don.
No problems.
You should be in my shoes.
Good night, David.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, everyone.
Goodnight, Liz.
- May help you? - Yes.
I want to speak to David Carn.
I'm afraid, as you can hear, he's busy.
When he's free.
He's on for another hour.
Look, just tell him it's personal.
Tell him it's Sarah Marshall.
Radio West here.
Hi, Stu.
Can I have a word? Yeah.
David, can you see someone in reception? Who is it? Her name's Sarah Marshall.
Says it's urgent, personal.
Sorry, Sonia.
I can't see anyone.
Bastards.
All of them bastards! I saw you opening the bookshop on Saturday, and all I wanted to say is that you were lovely.
You're exactly like I thought you were going to be.
And you're lovely too, Diana.
I've seen all your old films, you know.
All of them.
You are brave, my love.
Stirring stuff, isn't it? You chose it.
Right.
Timothy? You out there? Yes, David.
It's Tim actually.
Then Tim it is.
I knew a Timothy once.
He was called Mothy.
How would you like that, Tim? Not at all, David.
What I wanted to ask was, uh, I know you've been married three times and that and perhaps maybe you think you're not the best one qualified to say.
But, on the other hand, you must have learned something, mustn't you? Well, a little.
That's what I thought.
So don't you think that experiencing living with someone is what counts? I mean, the mistakes.
Ah, yes.
The mistakes.
I was interested in what the last speaker said.
Timothy? I mean, Tim.
Yes.
I'm happily married, David.
I'm glad to hear it, Georgina.
And we don't get bored, because he's on night work and I'm in an office all day.
So we don't see a lot of each other.
Well, Georgina, perhaps you've discovered the recipe for a happy marriage.
Now don't go away, let's think about that for a while, while we have a song about love.
Boring! She needs someone to talk to.
Bastards! All of them! The time's just coming up to seven a.
m.
Let's have some more traffic news.
Dan? Can't I ever get my own paper fresh in the morning? I'm just warming it up for you.
They used to iron them, you know? - Got a job today? - Prospects.
So I have prospects, too.
Of a settlement of rent? Certainly.
Do you want to hang on for a lift? You were out of petrol last night.
I was out of everything last night.
Did your friend's dinner party go all right? I enjoyed it immensely.
Oh, good.
How is Eddie Shoestring Limited managing without an office? Nah, it wasn't really worth keeping it on for the sort of business I was being offered.
Now I can pick and choose.
I'll see you.
Hello, how are you? Shoestring.
- Yes, one for you.
- Thank you.
You always hope it won't be this time.
We've been to three different mortuaries in three different cities.
We knew she wasn't in London.
Couldn't have stayed anywhere near home without seeing us.
Listed as a missing person a year ago.
Long time.
What did she do here? Why did she die on that beach? And a quick reminder about this morning's info desk.
The subject under discussion will be the highly topical one of the law, the police and you, the citizens.
And Paul's guest across the info desk today will be the barrister Erica Bayliss, who works with the police legal department.
So she should know.
Erica, you know you've been mentioned three times already on Radio West? They've been discussing your briefs.
It's only a quarter past nine in the morning, it's especially early for elderly jokes.
That's exactly what I mean.
I mean, it's 9:15 and already you're a celebrity.
By noon or twelve o'clock even you'll be a legend in your own lifetime.
Move out of the way.
I want to wax my legs.
Wax your legs? For the wireless? Michael Parkinson might be listening.
Anyway, it's radio, not wireless.
It's not only your jokes that are old-fashioned.
Haven't seen that shirt before.
It's a pyjama jacket.
You poor man.
Not at all.
I think it's quite interesting as a shirt, don't you? Now, I might phone in myself.
There are one or two points I'd like to clarify about certain types of prosecution.
Don't you dare.
A bit nervous, eh? - Not in the least.
- Hands are shaking.
My hands are not shaking.
Just waving goodbye.
I think you'll probably create a sensation.
There is something strange and exciting about having a landlady who's a celebrity.
It won't make any difference to the rent you owe.
Now, if I may, I'd like to hear from Detective Inspector Brinkley.
- Inspector? - Sir.
In view of the nature of this case, we'd like a little more time with our enquiries.
There are one or two aspects we're not quite satisfied with.
And an adjournment would be much appreciated by us.
Seven days would suffice, I think, sir.
I see.
Very well, we shall record that this inquest was formally adjourned on police application for, yes, 14 days.
Thank you, sir.
In the meantime, may this court once again express its deepest sympathy for the next of kin, Mr and Mrs Nolan.
The coroner agreed to an adjournment application by the police, who said that further investigations were still being made into the circumstances that led the girl, known as Sarah Marshall, to a lonely beach where she died from exposure on Tuesday night.
The car belonging to Radio West's David Carn, was spotted in the morning by a fisherman, Mr Thomas O'Malley.
If you can guess the name of this disc before the lyrics start, you can win an album of your choice and a T-shirt of your size, or maybe the other way around.
Anyway, can't be bad.
- Are you ready? - Yeah, right.
- Let's go.
- Morning, David.
- What have we got? Here's a rough format.
- Have you chosen my hit disc of the week yet? - We sure have.
Are you okay? Sure.
I never felt better.
- Has Kevin gone out yet? - He's in the control room with John.
Tell him I want to see him before he goes out, will you? Morning, Peter.
Good stuff on that fire last night.
- Top rate.
Keep it up.
- Well, thanks, Don.
- Anything else? - Just the Ops Committee at two.
And David should be waiting, as you asked, in your office.
More letters.
Right.
- And there's another tape in your left-hand drawer.
- Thanks.
Before you go out, Mr Satchley, can I have a private word with you? Urgent.
To do with David and Sarah Marshall.
I've only just heard her full name for the first time.
I've got something to tell you.
And the first caller on the line is Keith from Weston.
Good morning, Keith.
Hello, Keith? Is there a Keith in the house? We are Keith-less.
- Well, let's go on to our second caller - We've got Keith.
Good morning, Paul.
Good morning, Erica.
- Hello.
- Good morning, Keith.
I'd like to ask a question about legal aid.
All right, Keith.
Fire away.
All I'm saying is some of us were fond of Sarah.
Now, you don't know the truth, that's for sure.
What truth? Would you give me your name, please? Get this, lady.
Your Mr Carn doesn't come clean, then he's for it.
Do you read me? - What are you trying to say, Don? - Oh, come on, David.
Don't make it You get a handful of letters, a few poisoned phone-ins.
Good God.
You read some of this muck, you'd think I was responsible for everything - from the cost of living to the crucifixion.
- No wonder I get bloody ulcers.
A girl young enough to be your granddaughter drives your car to the beach and virtually kills herself.
She has a fistful of pills and half a bottle of your brandy in her.
A man whose wife is out of the country.
And all you can say is that magically she knew you had a spare key for the Rolls attached under a wing.
I told the police I couldn't understand that.
Maybe I mentioned it unwittingly on the air.
One thing I do know, I had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with that poor girl's death.
Very attractive, your barrister lady.
You'd get a ready-made programme out of her.
It's a thought.
Look, David.
Just you and me and these four walls, I'm asking you to level with me so that we can, you know, look after you.
Always assuming I need looking after, but then who doesn't? Then tell me this, David, the thing that really worries me.
- Something the police don't know.
- What? Three nights ago that kid came here.
Sonia called you from Control, remember? Maybe she did.
I was in the middle of my programme.
You know that.
You're saying you don't remember? What I'm saying is this, Don.
If you're thinking of taking me off the air, you'd better think again.
Cancel my shows and I'm obviously guilty of something.
I just can't get over her being here.
To think you've even made business trips.
So close.
Now here we are, staying under an assumed name, just like her, in an out-of-the-way hotel.
I thought it was best.
For your name and the company's.
Wouldn't want to make an exhibition of yourself, would you? Not even to cry about it.
Stop it, Grace.
- She was my daughter.
- She was our daughter.
And she's dead.
And you know there's nothing more important, is there, Mr Goddard? Thanks again for calling.
Yes, I've read about the girl who was found dead.
Wasn't the inquest this morning? Adjourned for further enquiries.
Please, have a seat.
Would be unethical to ask you what implications there are in an adjournment, Mrs Bayliss? Well, there's nothing sinister in it, nine times out of ten.
But when it's resumed, when more enquiries have been made? It depends if anybody has had anything to hide.
Some damaging statements can be made at inquests.
In Mr Carn's case? Well, as I said, it depends.
I'll put it this way.
He might be in some sort of trouble, he might not.
He won't help, help us to help him.
Check on him and the girl, you mean? It sounds as if you need a private detective, Mr Satchley.
Eddie? Eddie? I'm not here! You're not supposed to come here.
This boat helped save my sanity once.
It is private.
How busy are you? Very.
- How did you get on? - Jimmy Young Show next.
- No, seriously, how busy are you? - I told you, - I'm working on the boat.
- Horizontally? In computers it used to be called lateral thinking.
Well, hang on to your rigging, sailor.
You have a new client.
- Oh, here you are.
- Thank you.
Well, you can see, it's very delicate.
He's just about my number one attraction.
There'll be no joy to it to see dirty washing waving in the wind, believe me.
And if I am going on a limb for David, not taking him off the air, I've got to know.
- As a friend or as a station boss? - He's what I think they call a private person.
- There's a great deal about him I should admire.
- Should? - Should, yes.
He's good.
Well liked by everyone over there.
Not like me.
I first met him years ago, when I was a sound engineer.
He came in to give an interview.
That was in his big film star days.
Bogart, Hawkins, Finch, those guys.
Oh, was he brash then.
Already married twice.
He is now on his fourth, Virginia Prescott.
- She's a big name in the theatre, isn't she? - She's in a play on Broadway.
- Well, Mr Carn must have something.
- Or nothing.
She's always in a play somewhere.
Same again, please.
So, anyway, I didn't see him again until a couple of years ago at a village fete.
- He was still driving a Rolls, of course.
- Good.
I offered him a programme spot, it worked out well.
People wrote in, so I put him under contract.
Next thing you know, he's a star again.
- What do I owe you? - 51, sir.
- Is that how I come across to you? - I'm sorry.
It's an irritating habit of mine.
You come highly recommended, Mr Shoestring.
- Are you interested? - Is it really Shoestring? Yes.
I usually double my fee because of it.
Now, this Mr Carn, does he know that you've called me in? No, not yet.
- Getting underhand, that's difficult.
- I'm not asking you to check on him.
I'm asking you to check on the girl.
You don't believe me? Look in the evening paper.
Why are you so determined to spoil my lunch? Just what is in this paper? The inquest was adjourned.
Have a drink.
Oh, no, you wouldn't at this time of day, would you? Mineral water.
That's what's wrong with your sex life, Willis, drinking too much fizzy water.
- The police, they're bound to start asking questions.
- What does it matter? - Nothing to do with us, is it? - It happened because of us.
Fasten your seatbelt and sit tight, Willis.
A few months ago you were wagging your little tail with excitement.
Now, all of a sudden, you've got trouble with your conscience.
Well, take it to your vicar.
You wait here.
He's waiting outside in the car and all of a sudden Go ahead.
Excuse me.
It's very good of you, Mr Tilley.
You don't look like a private eye to me, boy.
You come from Chicago? - More chips? - Ah, thank you, darling.
Off you go, my dear.
Sorry about the grub.
It's catch-as-catch-can in this game.
- Fancy a French fry? - Thank you.
Now, Mr er Shoestring, how do you know Sarah worked here? - It wasn't mentioned in the papers.
- No.
No, I asked a friend who asked a friend in the police.
Ah, well, I weren't able to help the police, so I don't see how I can help you.
- Business is good.
- Oh, very good.
- How does the sound grab you? - By the throat.
Yeah.
Pop, in a few years, will be dead.
Jazz will be the big thing.
Mark my words.
I know what I'm talking about.
- Put money on it, would you? - I already have.
Consider this.
By the time I'm 30, I'll either be a millionaire or I'll be pushing up daisies.
Too many chips.
About Sarah - Oh, nice kid.
- And underage until last month.
Oh, yeah, well as I already explained to the police, she fooled me there.
I mean, some of these young girls, they can make a mockery of the law now, can't they? - I think you've clicked.
- Eh? The one in the sparkly jacket, I reckon she's in love with you.
Um, when you opened six months ago, Sarah was here.
Yeah.
- And the opening of Special night, wasn't it? - Invited guests only.
- Including David Carn.
- Among others.
- So he might have met Sarah? - He might, he might not.
I don't know.
She did her job well then she left in February, 14th of February.
I ain't ever seen her since.
- How do you remember it was the 14th? - Because we had a Saint Valentine's Day Massacre night.
I wish you would take that hat off, you keep reminding me of somebody.
- Ronald Colman.
- No.
No.
Mickey Rooney.
Well, as I said, I can't be of any assistance and your time's up.
That friend, the friend of my friend would be very interested to know about all those little coloured pills that get passed around in here.
I heard about that from another friend, Mr Tilley.
So maybe you could do me the favour of asking around about Sarah.
And this is my new phone number.
Well, I'm very busy, but I should watch out for that girl, if I were you.
If she don't half fancy you.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You on your own? - Am I? - 'Cause me and my friend want to dance and I wondered if you'd look after my handbag.
Thank you.
- Excuse me, have you got the time? - Yeah.
He likes handbags.
- Mr Shoestring? - Yes? Someone phoned you on my behalf last night.
Yes.
Yes, you did, Mr Willis.
Oh, I see.
I'm actually very good with voices.
It's useful in my game.
- Are you staying here, are you? - No, I'm not, as a matter of fact.
Neutral ground? What is your game? I used to be like you.
Executive zombie.
Moron.
I was in computers.
Yes.
I blew a fuse, smashed one up, computer that is.
So they confiscated my code key - and carted me off to a lunatic asylum.
- For psychiatry? No.
Analysis.
That's the reason I'm always drawing.
It's the only way to keep sane.
I see.
I used to let the doctors do all t he talking, so perhaps if you'd like to start.
All right, I'll I'll come out into the open, vis-а-vis your enquiries.
Drop them and you'll be paid double your fee.
It's half a million.
I see.
- You aren't interested in money? - Oh, yes.
I find it the most attractive thing in the world.
Goodbye, Mr Willis.
And give my regards to Mrs Willis.
I never thought to ring.
Are you police? Inspector Brinkley called me up and said you were through here.
So I came down again for her things.
I was just taking a last, cursory look.
- Allow me.
- Oh, thank you.
Have you found out anything else? No.
I was wondering if you and your husband had any ideas.
Well, we wouldn't, would we? Not knowing for a year.
All this It seems so strange.
Makes the things you know upset you even more.
I'm very sorry for the intrusion.
Do excuse me.
Anybody do me Bath Road to Mill Street Chiropodists, wait and return? Yes, I drove her once or twice.
Only once or twice? With you in her book? Customer's name's Stanton, S- T-A-N-T-O-N.
- Got you.
- Out.
You see, Laurie, I'm trying to get a picture of the girl.
- Well, I'm not in it, mate.
Oh, no.
- No? Strictly work.
- And what about her work? - I'm not going to condemn it.
It's the way of the world, innit? No questions asked.
So you know where she went and who with? Right.
Sometimes with a bloke, sometimes another girl.
Well, where did they go? - How can I remember that? - Well, where from? - Don't you know that? - No, I don't.
Look, Laurie, here's a tenner and a lightning portrait for the wife.
Looks nothing like her.
Barry? Mr Hendry.
Look, about Moonbeam, someone might come asking questions.
You let me know - Okay.
- Yeah.
- Especially someone called - Eddie Shoestring.
- Shoestring.
Shoestring! What? He's just booked Here you are, sir.
The sauna is in there, shower's over there and that's the door to the pool.
Thank you.
Oh, before you go, I'd like a word.
- Yes? - Yes.
About Sarah and David Carn.
You did phone Radio West about Carn, didn't you? Oh, come on.
I recognised your voice from the phone-in tape.
What do you want to know? I don't know who you are and why you are asking these questions.
What's your connection with Sarah anyway? Do you care about her death? - She needn't have died, you know.
- I can't tell you anything.
No? Who says? Friends of Sarah's? I'll tell you what.
You go in the sauna.
I've got some things to do, I'll be back in 15 minutes.
And then maybe we'll talk.
Okay? All right.
Anybody in the sauna there with him? All right, leave Shoestring, bring him with us.
Sorry, I can't find him anywhere.
Well, perhaps you can help me.
It's about Sarah Marshall.
Now, Laurie the taxi driver told me about Diana who works here.
Is she on duty? She's visiting her parents in Cardiff till tomorrow.
When she comes back, where can I find her? I'm going around the corner for some Chinese.
No, thanks.
Somebody wants a word with you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
All this for a chop suey.
Inside.
Down on the right.
Come in, Mr Shoestring.
Please.
It's very kind of you, thank you very much.
More neutral ground? Scandalous, isn't it? What football hooligans can do to the rolling stock.
Such violence these days.
Chinese? What have you got? Sweet and sour? Noodles? No, I've got some big fleas and little fleas.
What? You, Willis, Tilley, and who else? We checked this office.
You moved out.
Business isn't so hot? Can't complain.
- Not from this part of the country, are you? - No.
And here long enough to know that this is a businessman's city? Owned by businessmen and run by businessmen.
That's how it's always been.
- And that's how it always will be.
- Now let me guess, you're trying to tell me something, Mr I don't know your name.
There, I knew you were an intelligent sort of a chap.
A word in the right ear and you could find yourself, say, new premises, possibly even a retainer or two.
Oh, there's got to be a catch in it somewhere.
I know there is.
Could also mean that a word in the wrong ear and you will find earning a living in this city impossible, to say the least.
I knew it.
And who does this wrong ear belong to? Don't go poking about into people's personal lives, Shoestring.
It could cause considerable embarrassment.
To coin a phrase, stick to debt collecting and let the dead women lie.
She must have had some very important friends, this young lady.
There, you've heard what I said.
There's a good chap.
No, definitely not a big flea.
You are strictly second-rate.
Try not to break anything.
I changed my mind.
How much did you get? It'll need reheating.
I saw it as I got into the carriage.
Y- L-E 8-4-7-S.
Mercedes.
I told you, - I just can't do it like that, you know.
- But it's in a computer.
Just working in the regional police legal department doesn't, believe it or not, give me carte blanche Oh, if you can, you can.
If you can't, forget it.
You're good with your hands, as a potter.
In my last year.
I've got a job lined up in France.
Oh, so that's the end of you being a - The end of your work at the sauna? - About Sarah Yes.
You worked with her a few times.
- You did the hotels.
- Did I? Didn't you? Visiting firemen and expense account buys things.
You know the scene.
For most of us it's the money.
Pure and simple.
- Well, maybe not so pure.
- Would you like to tell me about Sarah? Listen, we worked together.
No way would I call myself her best friend.
- Yeah, but did she earn a good living? - She was doing all right.
- Good clientele? - She had some pretty good connections.
Influential? - You're not expecting me to name names? - No, no, no.
Of course not.
What about Willis? Tilley.
And the horrible bloke with a Mercedes and a nasty streak.
All right then, just one name.
David Carn.
Did you hear about Barry at the sauna? No.
- He's in the hospital.
He got beaten up.
- I didn't know that.
Why? Would Sarah have kept a little black book? Not necessarily.
I never put anything down in writing.
Oh, you're very clever.
Look, just tell me Diana, please.
Did David Carn know Sarah? Okay.
Yes.
- He was very special to her.
- Yeah, but did it work the other way around? Was she special to him? Maybe.
Maybe not.
- No point in denying it then.
- Not really.
- May I ask what you're going to do with this information? - Nothing.
I assume you're working for those poor parents.
I almost went to the inquest, you know.
But, apart from everything else Not possible.
- The police could find out for themselves.
- About her job at the sauna, you mean? - Yeah.
And her clients there, elsewhere.
I was always discreet, you know.
Well, I suppose, if it has to come out, it has to come out.
They'll take me apart on the media, I expect, even on Radio West.
No idea what her real age was the first time I met her.
As a matter of fact, it was she who mentioned that she worked at the sauna.
Then one day I found myself getting into a taxi - You took her out in your Rolls too, didn't you? - Only a couple of times, but once I lost the damn key, then she knew where the spare was, underneath the front wing.
- And her visit that night? - Yes.
She came to Radio West, I really wouldn't talk to her.
I didn't realise she was in a state.
And, believe me, - I had no idea what it could have been about.
- You see, that's the unanswered question.
Why a whore like Sarah should suddenly lose her cool.
I have nothing to offer there.
All I can say is that, as far as we're concerned, she was never silly or pushy or starstruck.
She was Oh, I don't know.
Young.
Keeping fit in body if not mind, Mr Hendry.
I'm surprised you ever needed a sauna.
- How did you get in here? - Charm, panache, a bit of bribery.
- This is a private sports club.
I'll have you thrown out.
- And roughed up again? No idea what you're talking about.
Sarah Marshall had a little black book.
Did you know that? That's how I got your car registration.
What do you mean, little black book? All those businessmen in this businessmen's city.
In the wrong hands and there could be a few red faces like yours at next month's Rotary Club meeting.
Like I said, you are a second-rate flea, because you are sheltering somebody.
I'm advising you one last time, Shoestring, don't go on with this.
What made Sarah Marshall kill herself? Who had an appointment with her that night? Get lost.
And that's for spoiling my Chinese.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Excuse me, do you have a list of companies that use this club? Yes, we do.
Well, I've just been talking to Mr Anthony Hendry.
He's a nice bloke, isn't he? And I wonder if you could tell me which company he's with? Why have you come up to London, Mr Shoestring? To meet the chairman.
The big boss of the parent company who made frequent visits to the West Country.
How did you find out? For that, you can thank your young executives.
They fixed you up at the hotel that night, didn't they? Bit of a case of keeping it in the family.
Yes, Mr Shoestring.
By some ghastly mischance, my own daughter arrived and there I was, ready to buy her favours.
I opened the door and we just stood on either side.
Over a year, and I didn't recognise her at first.
Then she ran down the corridor to the lift.
I followed, but she had already got in, the doors were closed.
I heard her being sick on the way down.
What was I to do? The complete revulsion, hers and mine.
Utter revulsion, in my case, mostly at myself.
So I booked out, went to the station, and took the next train back to London.
The next time I saw her it was in the mortuary.
She ran away because Oh, I don't know, so many things.
We used to live in the country.
Then we moved up to London to be near the City.
My mistake.
Mammon versus parenthood.
Nobody paid much attention to her.
My wife and I were too busy with ourselves.
Functions and quarrels, breakfast and quarrels, one bloody great quarrel.
We ought to have settled things, one way or the other, years ago.
And now she's dead because I couldn't cope at such an appalling moment.
My wife doesn't know.
She didn't even know where I was that night.
She certainly didn't know I was in the West Country.
She doesn't always ask me where I'm going on business.
Yes, all right.
Mr Satchley is on his way down.
Okay, thanks.
Sorry, planning committee.
One and a half hours and not a single new programme idea.
No one's biorhythms were right.
- Good, innit? - Let's talk in my office.
Whether he likes it or not, he's due for a holiday.
So, I'm paying and you still refuse to tell me who caused that girl to kill herself? Right.
You got what you wanted.
He is in the clear, except on his own vegetable patch.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
Mr Satchley? About new programme ideas - You? On radio? - Yes.
Don't look on it as losing a lodger, look on it as gaining a public service.
- And I'm retained, as of now.
- But as what? Here's Paul, to give you all the details of everything that's happening here on Radio West, 329 metres.
Thank you, David.
And first let me tell you listeners of a fantastic new programme we'll be introducing next week, a unique service for you out there.
Our very own private detective available to you on phone-in.
Yes, our very own private eye.
Shoestring's the name.
That's right.
Eddie Shoestring.
And if you have the kind of problem you t hink is the job for investigation, why don't you ring us? We'll take your call in the strictest confidence and pass it on to our private ear on Radio West, 329 metres.
So why don't you ring us on 2-7-2-7-2 and ask for Shoestring?
Waiting for a passenger from Sally Port Road.
Okay, 19.
Anyone near the station? Thank you, 17.
Thank you.
He told Joss that he's an MP.
Kept on about how his party tends to improve the grant.
I didn't tell him I worked part-time at the Bel Aire.
I bet you didn't.
Did you know Pete has a sauna of his own? No, I didn't.
And here with some more sound and advice is the old maestro himself, David Carn.
Old.
Better.
Mature? I could pass for late 30s.
In the dark with the light going.
- Who're you kidding? - Straightaway that gives me a cue.
A real oldie from the '30s that never fades.
Dropping to nearly zero with widespread freezing conditions.
A letter from a forthright, young man the other day, who suggested I was an old square.
What could I do? Horsewhip him? Fight a duel with him? Have him drummed out of the regiment? He could be right, of course.
And if he is, I'm unrepentant.
Here's a piece of music dedicated to all the other old squares like me.
May we reign forever.
Hello? - Moonbeam? - Yes? - Client.
Category A.
- No one tonight.
I told you I'm tired.
Ah, I should have said A plus.
Well, here's someone I always longed to meet, but never did.
Once he passed me by in the film studios, but I was all got up as a Roman Centurion, feeling a bit idiotic.
Warlords of Gaul.
Remember? Anyway, here he is.
The one and only Jack Buchanan.
Yes.
Right.
We've got a few callers waiting so what we'll do is we'll take your phone number and phone you back in about 10 minutes, okay? - Coffee.
- What is it? Okay.
Keep it flowing, smoothie.
Let me guide you on your homeward way out there to your boeuf bourguignon.
Sorry, I unwind with Radio 3.
Berlioz tonight.
Benvenuto Celini.
Low treason.
Ah, cheers.
How much brandy in that? Two fingers.
Everything all right then? Everything's fine, thanks, Don.
No problems.
You should be in my shoes.
Good night, David.
Goodnight.
Goodnight, everyone.
Goodnight, Liz.
- May help you? - Yes.
I want to speak to David Carn.
I'm afraid, as you can hear, he's busy.
When he's free.
He's on for another hour.
Look, just tell him it's personal.
Tell him it's Sarah Marshall.
Radio West here.
Hi, Stu.
Can I have a word? Yeah.
David, can you see someone in reception? Who is it? Her name's Sarah Marshall.
Says it's urgent, personal.
Sorry, Sonia.
I can't see anyone.
Bastards.
All of them bastards! I saw you opening the bookshop on Saturday, and all I wanted to say is that you were lovely.
You're exactly like I thought you were going to be.
And you're lovely too, Diana.
I've seen all your old films, you know.
All of them.
You are brave, my love.
Stirring stuff, isn't it? You chose it.
Right.
Timothy? You out there? Yes, David.
It's Tim actually.
Then Tim it is.
I knew a Timothy once.
He was called Mothy.
How would you like that, Tim? Not at all, David.
What I wanted to ask was, uh, I know you've been married three times and that and perhaps maybe you think you're not the best one qualified to say.
But, on the other hand, you must have learned something, mustn't you? Well, a little.
That's what I thought.
So don't you think that experiencing living with someone is what counts? I mean, the mistakes.
Ah, yes.
The mistakes.
I was interested in what the last speaker said.
Timothy? I mean, Tim.
Yes.
I'm happily married, David.
I'm glad to hear it, Georgina.
And we don't get bored, because he's on night work and I'm in an office all day.
So we don't see a lot of each other.
Well, Georgina, perhaps you've discovered the recipe for a happy marriage.
Now don't go away, let's think about that for a while, while we have a song about love.
Boring! She needs someone to talk to.
Bastards! All of them! The time's just coming up to seven a.
m.
Let's have some more traffic news.
Dan? Can't I ever get my own paper fresh in the morning? I'm just warming it up for you.
They used to iron them, you know? - Got a job today? - Prospects.
So I have prospects, too.
Of a settlement of rent? Certainly.
Do you want to hang on for a lift? You were out of petrol last night.
I was out of everything last night.
Did your friend's dinner party go all right? I enjoyed it immensely.
Oh, good.
How is Eddie Shoestring Limited managing without an office? Nah, it wasn't really worth keeping it on for the sort of business I was being offered.
Now I can pick and choose.
I'll see you.
Hello, how are you? Shoestring.
- Yes, one for you.
- Thank you.
You always hope it won't be this time.
We've been to three different mortuaries in three different cities.
We knew she wasn't in London.
Couldn't have stayed anywhere near home without seeing us.
Listed as a missing person a year ago.
Long time.
What did she do here? Why did she die on that beach? And a quick reminder about this morning's info desk.
The subject under discussion will be the highly topical one of the law, the police and you, the citizens.
And Paul's guest across the info desk today will be the barrister Erica Bayliss, who works with the police legal department.
So she should know.
Erica, you know you've been mentioned three times already on Radio West? They've been discussing your briefs.
It's only a quarter past nine in the morning, it's especially early for elderly jokes.
That's exactly what I mean.
I mean, it's 9:15 and already you're a celebrity.
By noon or twelve o'clock even you'll be a legend in your own lifetime.
Move out of the way.
I want to wax my legs.
Wax your legs? For the wireless? Michael Parkinson might be listening.
Anyway, it's radio, not wireless.
It's not only your jokes that are old-fashioned.
Haven't seen that shirt before.
It's a pyjama jacket.
You poor man.
Not at all.
I think it's quite interesting as a shirt, don't you? Now, I might phone in myself.
There are one or two points I'd like to clarify about certain types of prosecution.
Don't you dare.
A bit nervous, eh? - Not in the least.
- Hands are shaking.
My hands are not shaking.
Just waving goodbye.
I think you'll probably create a sensation.
There is something strange and exciting about having a landlady who's a celebrity.
It won't make any difference to the rent you owe.
Now, if I may, I'd like to hear from Detective Inspector Brinkley.
- Inspector? - Sir.
In view of the nature of this case, we'd like a little more time with our enquiries.
There are one or two aspects we're not quite satisfied with.
And an adjournment would be much appreciated by us.
Seven days would suffice, I think, sir.
I see.
Very well, we shall record that this inquest was formally adjourned on police application for, yes, 14 days.
Thank you, sir.
In the meantime, may this court once again express its deepest sympathy for the next of kin, Mr and Mrs Nolan.
The coroner agreed to an adjournment application by the police, who said that further investigations were still being made into the circumstances that led the girl, known as Sarah Marshall, to a lonely beach where she died from exposure on Tuesday night.
The car belonging to Radio West's David Carn, was spotted in the morning by a fisherman, Mr Thomas O'Malley.
If you can guess the name of this disc before the lyrics start, you can win an album of your choice and a T-shirt of your size, or maybe the other way around.
Anyway, can't be bad.
- Are you ready? - Yeah, right.
- Let's go.
- Morning, David.
- What have we got? Here's a rough format.
- Have you chosen my hit disc of the week yet? - We sure have.
Are you okay? Sure.
I never felt better.
- Has Kevin gone out yet? - He's in the control room with John.
Tell him I want to see him before he goes out, will you? Morning, Peter.
Good stuff on that fire last night.
- Top rate.
Keep it up.
- Well, thanks, Don.
- Anything else? - Just the Ops Committee at two.
And David should be waiting, as you asked, in your office.
More letters.
Right.
- And there's another tape in your left-hand drawer.
- Thanks.
Before you go out, Mr Satchley, can I have a private word with you? Urgent.
To do with David and Sarah Marshall.
I've only just heard her full name for the first time.
I've got something to tell you.
And the first caller on the line is Keith from Weston.
Good morning, Keith.
Hello, Keith? Is there a Keith in the house? We are Keith-less.
- Well, let's go on to our second caller - We've got Keith.
Good morning, Paul.
Good morning, Erica.
- Hello.
- Good morning, Keith.
I'd like to ask a question about legal aid.
All right, Keith.
Fire away.
All I'm saying is some of us were fond of Sarah.
Now, you don't know the truth, that's for sure.
What truth? Would you give me your name, please? Get this, lady.
Your Mr Carn doesn't come clean, then he's for it.
Do you read me? - What are you trying to say, Don? - Oh, come on, David.
Don't make it You get a handful of letters, a few poisoned phone-ins.
Good God.
You read some of this muck, you'd think I was responsible for everything - from the cost of living to the crucifixion.
- No wonder I get bloody ulcers.
A girl young enough to be your granddaughter drives your car to the beach and virtually kills herself.
She has a fistful of pills and half a bottle of your brandy in her.
A man whose wife is out of the country.
And all you can say is that magically she knew you had a spare key for the Rolls attached under a wing.
I told the police I couldn't understand that.
Maybe I mentioned it unwittingly on the air.
One thing I do know, I had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with that poor girl's death.
Very attractive, your barrister lady.
You'd get a ready-made programme out of her.
It's a thought.
Look, David.
Just you and me and these four walls, I'm asking you to level with me so that we can, you know, look after you.
Always assuming I need looking after, but then who doesn't? Then tell me this, David, the thing that really worries me.
- Something the police don't know.
- What? Three nights ago that kid came here.
Sonia called you from Control, remember? Maybe she did.
I was in the middle of my programme.
You know that.
You're saying you don't remember? What I'm saying is this, Don.
If you're thinking of taking me off the air, you'd better think again.
Cancel my shows and I'm obviously guilty of something.
I just can't get over her being here.
To think you've even made business trips.
So close.
Now here we are, staying under an assumed name, just like her, in an out-of-the-way hotel.
I thought it was best.
For your name and the company's.
Wouldn't want to make an exhibition of yourself, would you? Not even to cry about it.
Stop it, Grace.
- She was my daughter.
- She was our daughter.
And she's dead.
And you know there's nothing more important, is there, Mr Goddard? Thanks again for calling.
Yes, I've read about the girl who was found dead.
Wasn't the inquest this morning? Adjourned for further enquiries.
Please, have a seat.
Would be unethical to ask you what implications there are in an adjournment, Mrs Bayliss? Well, there's nothing sinister in it, nine times out of ten.
But when it's resumed, when more enquiries have been made? It depends if anybody has had anything to hide.
Some damaging statements can be made at inquests.
In Mr Carn's case? Well, as I said, it depends.
I'll put it this way.
He might be in some sort of trouble, he might not.
He won't help, help us to help him.
Check on him and the girl, you mean? It sounds as if you need a private detective, Mr Satchley.
Eddie? Eddie? I'm not here! You're not supposed to come here.
This boat helped save my sanity once.
It is private.
How busy are you? Very.
- How did you get on? - Jimmy Young Show next.
- No, seriously, how busy are you? - I told you, - I'm working on the boat.
- Horizontally? In computers it used to be called lateral thinking.
Well, hang on to your rigging, sailor.
You have a new client.
- Oh, here you are.
- Thank you.
Well, you can see, it's very delicate.
He's just about my number one attraction.
There'll be no joy to it to see dirty washing waving in the wind, believe me.
And if I am going on a limb for David, not taking him off the air, I've got to know.
- As a friend or as a station boss? - He's what I think they call a private person.
- There's a great deal about him I should admire.
- Should? - Should, yes.
He's good.
Well liked by everyone over there.
Not like me.
I first met him years ago, when I was a sound engineer.
He came in to give an interview.
That was in his big film star days.
Bogart, Hawkins, Finch, those guys.
Oh, was he brash then.
Already married twice.
He is now on his fourth, Virginia Prescott.
- She's a big name in the theatre, isn't she? - She's in a play on Broadway.
- Well, Mr Carn must have something.
- Or nothing.
She's always in a play somewhere.
Same again, please.
So, anyway, I didn't see him again until a couple of years ago at a village fete.
- He was still driving a Rolls, of course.
- Good.
I offered him a programme spot, it worked out well.
People wrote in, so I put him under contract.
Next thing you know, he's a star again.
- What do I owe you? - 51, sir.
- Is that how I come across to you? - I'm sorry.
It's an irritating habit of mine.
You come highly recommended, Mr Shoestring.
- Are you interested? - Is it really Shoestring? Yes.
I usually double my fee because of it.
Now, this Mr Carn, does he know that you've called me in? No, not yet.
- Getting underhand, that's difficult.
- I'm not asking you to check on him.
I'm asking you to check on the girl.
You don't believe me? Look in the evening paper.
Why are you so determined to spoil my lunch? Just what is in this paper? The inquest was adjourned.
Have a drink.
Oh, no, you wouldn't at this time of day, would you? Mineral water.
That's what's wrong with your sex life, Willis, drinking too much fizzy water.
- The police, they're bound to start asking questions.
- What does it matter? - Nothing to do with us, is it? - It happened because of us.
Fasten your seatbelt and sit tight, Willis.
A few months ago you were wagging your little tail with excitement.
Now, all of a sudden, you've got trouble with your conscience.
Well, take it to your vicar.
You wait here.
He's waiting outside in the car and all of a sudden Go ahead.
Excuse me.
It's very good of you, Mr Tilley.
You don't look like a private eye to me, boy.
You come from Chicago? - More chips? - Ah, thank you, darling.
Off you go, my dear.
Sorry about the grub.
It's catch-as-catch-can in this game.
- Fancy a French fry? - Thank you.
Now, Mr er Shoestring, how do you know Sarah worked here? - It wasn't mentioned in the papers.
- No.
No, I asked a friend who asked a friend in the police.
Ah, well, I weren't able to help the police, so I don't see how I can help you.
- Business is good.
- Oh, very good.
- How does the sound grab you? - By the throat.
Yeah.
Pop, in a few years, will be dead.
Jazz will be the big thing.
Mark my words.
I know what I'm talking about.
- Put money on it, would you? - I already have.
Consider this.
By the time I'm 30, I'll either be a millionaire or I'll be pushing up daisies.
Too many chips.
About Sarah - Oh, nice kid.
- And underage until last month.
Oh, yeah, well as I already explained to the police, she fooled me there.
I mean, some of these young girls, they can make a mockery of the law now, can't they? - I think you've clicked.
- Eh? The one in the sparkly jacket, I reckon she's in love with you.
Um, when you opened six months ago, Sarah was here.
Yeah.
- And the opening of Special night, wasn't it? - Invited guests only.
- Including David Carn.
- Among others.
- So he might have met Sarah? - He might, he might not.
I don't know.
She did her job well then she left in February, 14th of February.
I ain't ever seen her since.
- How do you remember it was the 14th? - Because we had a Saint Valentine's Day Massacre night.
I wish you would take that hat off, you keep reminding me of somebody.
- Ronald Colman.
- No.
No.
Mickey Rooney.
Well, as I said, I can't be of any assistance and your time's up.
That friend, the friend of my friend would be very interested to know about all those little coloured pills that get passed around in here.
I heard about that from another friend, Mr Tilley.
So maybe you could do me the favour of asking around about Sarah.
And this is my new phone number.
Well, I'm very busy, but I should watch out for that girl, if I were you.
If she don't half fancy you.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- You on your own? - Am I? - 'Cause me and my friend want to dance and I wondered if you'd look after my handbag.
Thank you.
- Excuse me, have you got the time? - Yeah.
He likes handbags.
- Mr Shoestring? - Yes? Someone phoned you on my behalf last night.
Yes.
Yes, you did, Mr Willis.
Oh, I see.
I'm actually very good with voices.
It's useful in my game.
- Are you staying here, are you? - No, I'm not, as a matter of fact.
Neutral ground? What is your game? I used to be like you.
Executive zombie.
Moron.
I was in computers.
Yes.
I blew a fuse, smashed one up, computer that is.
So they confiscated my code key - and carted me off to a lunatic asylum.
- For psychiatry? No.
Analysis.
That's the reason I'm always drawing.
It's the only way to keep sane.
I see.
I used to let the doctors do all t he talking, so perhaps if you'd like to start.
All right, I'll I'll come out into the open, vis-а-vis your enquiries.
Drop them and you'll be paid double your fee.
It's half a million.
I see.
- You aren't interested in money? - Oh, yes.
I find it the most attractive thing in the world.
Goodbye, Mr Willis.
And give my regards to Mrs Willis.
I never thought to ring.
Are you police? Inspector Brinkley called me up and said you were through here.
So I came down again for her things.
I was just taking a last, cursory look.
- Allow me.
- Oh, thank you.
Have you found out anything else? No.
I was wondering if you and your husband had any ideas.
Well, we wouldn't, would we? Not knowing for a year.
All this It seems so strange.
Makes the things you know upset you even more.
I'm very sorry for the intrusion.
Do excuse me.
Anybody do me Bath Road to Mill Street Chiropodists, wait and return? Yes, I drove her once or twice.
Only once or twice? With you in her book? Customer's name's Stanton, S- T-A-N-T-O-N.
- Got you.
- Out.
You see, Laurie, I'm trying to get a picture of the girl.
- Well, I'm not in it, mate.
Oh, no.
- No? Strictly work.
- And what about her work? - I'm not going to condemn it.
It's the way of the world, innit? No questions asked.
So you know where she went and who with? Right.
Sometimes with a bloke, sometimes another girl.
Well, where did they go? - How can I remember that? - Well, where from? - Don't you know that? - No, I don't.
Look, Laurie, here's a tenner and a lightning portrait for the wife.
Looks nothing like her.
Barry? Mr Hendry.
Look, about Moonbeam, someone might come asking questions.
You let me know - Okay.
- Yeah.
- Especially someone called - Eddie Shoestring.
- Shoestring.
Shoestring! What? He's just booked Here you are, sir.
The sauna is in there, shower's over there and that's the door to the pool.
Thank you.
Oh, before you go, I'd like a word.
- Yes? - Yes.
About Sarah and David Carn.
You did phone Radio West about Carn, didn't you? Oh, come on.
I recognised your voice from the phone-in tape.
What do you want to know? I don't know who you are and why you are asking these questions.
What's your connection with Sarah anyway? Do you care about her death? - She needn't have died, you know.
- I can't tell you anything.
No? Who says? Friends of Sarah's? I'll tell you what.
You go in the sauna.
I've got some things to do, I'll be back in 15 minutes.
And then maybe we'll talk.
Okay? All right.
Anybody in the sauna there with him? All right, leave Shoestring, bring him with us.
Sorry, I can't find him anywhere.
Well, perhaps you can help me.
It's about Sarah Marshall.
Now, Laurie the taxi driver told me about Diana who works here.
Is she on duty? She's visiting her parents in Cardiff till tomorrow.
When she comes back, where can I find her? I'm going around the corner for some Chinese.
No, thanks.
Somebody wants a word with you.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
All this for a chop suey.
Inside.
Down on the right.
Come in, Mr Shoestring.
Please.
It's very kind of you, thank you very much.
More neutral ground? Scandalous, isn't it? What football hooligans can do to the rolling stock.
Such violence these days.
Chinese? What have you got? Sweet and sour? Noodles? No, I've got some big fleas and little fleas.
What? You, Willis, Tilley, and who else? We checked this office.
You moved out.
Business isn't so hot? Can't complain.
- Not from this part of the country, are you? - No.
And here long enough to know that this is a businessman's city? Owned by businessmen and run by businessmen.
That's how it's always been.
- And that's how it always will be.
- Now let me guess, you're trying to tell me something, Mr I don't know your name.
There, I knew you were an intelligent sort of a chap.
A word in the right ear and you could find yourself, say, new premises, possibly even a retainer or two.
Oh, there's got to be a catch in it somewhere.
I know there is.
Could also mean that a word in the wrong ear and you will find earning a living in this city impossible, to say the least.
I knew it.
And who does this wrong ear belong to? Don't go poking about into people's personal lives, Shoestring.
It could cause considerable embarrassment.
To coin a phrase, stick to debt collecting and let the dead women lie.
She must have had some very important friends, this young lady.
There, you've heard what I said.
There's a good chap.
No, definitely not a big flea.
You are strictly second-rate.
Try not to break anything.
I changed my mind.
How much did you get? It'll need reheating.
I saw it as I got into the carriage.
Y- L-E 8-4-7-S.
Mercedes.
I told you, - I just can't do it like that, you know.
- But it's in a computer.
Just working in the regional police legal department doesn't, believe it or not, give me carte blanche Oh, if you can, you can.
If you can't, forget it.
You're good with your hands, as a potter.
In my last year.
I've got a job lined up in France.
Oh, so that's the end of you being a - The end of your work at the sauna? - About Sarah Yes.
You worked with her a few times.
- You did the hotels.
- Did I? Didn't you? Visiting firemen and expense account buys things.
You know the scene.
For most of us it's the money.
Pure and simple.
- Well, maybe not so pure.
- Would you like to tell me about Sarah? Listen, we worked together.
No way would I call myself her best friend.
- Yeah, but did she earn a good living? - She was doing all right.
- Good clientele? - She had some pretty good connections.
Influential? - You're not expecting me to name names? - No, no, no.
Of course not.
What about Willis? Tilley.
And the horrible bloke with a Mercedes and a nasty streak.
All right then, just one name.
David Carn.
Did you hear about Barry at the sauna? No.
- He's in the hospital.
He got beaten up.
- I didn't know that.
Why? Would Sarah have kept a little black book? Not necessarily.
I never put anything down in writing.
Oh, you're very clever.
Look, just tell me Diana, please.
Did David Carn know Sarah? Okay.
Yes.
- He was very special to her.
- Yeah, but did it work the other way around? Was she special to him? Maybe.
Maybe not.
- No point in denying it then.
- Not really.
- May I ask what you're going to do with this information? - Nothing.
I assume you're working for those poor parents.
I almost went to the inquest, you know.
But, apart from everything else Not possible.
- The police could find out for themselves.
- About her job at the sauna, you mean? - Yeah.
And her clients there, elsewhere.
I was always discreet, you know.
Well, I suppose, if it has to come out, it has to come out.
They'll take me apart on the media, I expect, even on Radio West.
No idea what her real age was the first time I met her.
As a matter of fact, it was she who mentioned that she worked at the sauna.
Then one day I found myself getting into a taxi - You took her out in your Rolls too, didn't you? - Only a couple of times, but once I lost the damn key, then she knew where the spare was, underneath the front wing.
- And her visit that night? - Yes.
She came to Radio West, I really wouldn't talk to her.
I didn't realise she was in a state.
And, believe me, - I had no idea what it could have been about.
- You see, that's the unanswered question.
Why a whore like Sarah should suddenly lose her cool.
I have nothing to offer there.
All I can say is that, as far as we're concerned, she was never silly or pushy or starstruck.
She was Oh, I don't know.
Young.
Keeping fit in body if not mind, Mr Hendry.
I'm surprised you ever needed a sauna.
- How did you get in here? - Charm, panache, a bit of bribery.
- This is a private sports club.
I'll have you thrown out.
- And roughed up again? No idea what you're talking about.
Sarah Marshall had a little black book.
Did you know that? That's how I got your car registration.
What do you mean, little black book? All those businessmen in this businessmen's city.
In the wrong hands and there could be a few red faces like yours at next month's Rotary Club meeting.
Like I said, you are a second-rate flea, because you are sheltering somebody.
I'm advising you one last time, Shoestring, don't go on with this.
What made Sarah Marshall kill herself? Who had an appointment with her that night? Get lost.
And that's for spoiling my Chinese.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Excuse me, do you have a list of companies that use this club? Yes, we do.
Well, I've just been talking to Mr Anthony Hendry.
He's a nice bloke, isn't he? And I wonder if you could tell me which company he's with? Why have you come up to London, Mr Shoestring? To meet the chairman.
The big boss of the parent company who made frequent visits to the West Country.
How did you find out? For that, you can thank your young executives.
They fixed you up at the hotel that night, didn't they? Bit of a case of keeping it in the family.
Yes, Mr Shoestring.
By some ghastly mischance, my own daughter arrived and there I was, ready to buy her favours.
I opened the door and we just stood on either side.
Over a year, and I didn't recognise her at first.
Then she ran down the corridor to the lift.
I followed, but she had already got in, the doors were closed.
I heard her being sick on the way down.
What was I to do? The complete revulsion, hers and mine.
Utter revulsion, in my case, mostly at myself.
So I booked out, went to the station, and took the next train back to London.
The next time I saw her it was in the mortuary.
She ran away because Oh, I don't know, so many things.
We used to live in the country.
Then we moved up to London to be near the City.
My mistake.
Mammon versus parenthood.
Nobody paid much attention to her.
My wife and I were too busy with ourselves.
Functions and quarrels, breakfast and quarrels, one bloody great quarrel.
We ought to have settled things, one way or the other, years ago.
And now she's dead because I couldn't cope at such an appalling moment.
My wife doesn't know.
She didn't even know where I was that night.
She certainly didn't know I was in the West Country.
She doesn't always ask me where I'm going on business.
Yes, all right.
Mr Satchley is on his way down.
Okay, thanks.
Sorry, planning committee.
One and a half hours and not a single new programme idea.
No one's biorhythms were right.
- Good, innit? - Let's talk in my office.
Whether he likes it or not, he's due for a holiday.
So, I'm paying and you still refuse to tell me who caused that girl to kill herself? Right.
You got what you wanted.
He is in the clear, except on his own vegetable patch.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye.
Mr Satchley? About new programme ideas - You? On radio? - Yes.
Don't look on it as losing a lodger, look on it as gaining a public service.
- And I'm retained, as of now.
- But as what? Here's Paul, to give you all the details of everything that's happening here on Radio West, 329 metres.
Thank you, David.
And first let me tell you listeners of a fantastic new programme we'll be introducing next week, a unique service for you out there.
Our very own private detective available to you on phone-in.
Yes, our very own private eye.
Shoestring's the name.
That's right.
Eddie Shoestring.
And if you have the kind of problem you t hink is the job for investigation, why don't you ring us? We'll take your call in the strictest confidence and pass it on to our private ear on Radio West, 329 metres.
So why don't you ring us on 2-7-2-7-2 and ask for Shoestring?