Shtisel (2013) s01e01 Episode Script

1
Abot Barkai Productions
Talisma Productions
Created by
Ori Elon and Yehonatan Indursky
Dov Glickman
Michael Aloni
Ayelet Zurer
Neta Riskin
Shira Hass
Casting
Hila Yuval
Executive Producer
Eitan Abot
Line Producer
Isca Gur-Luzon
Art Director
Tamar Gadish
Music
Avi Belleli
Cinematography
Roey Roth
Editor
Gilad Ariel
Screenplay
Ori Elon and Yehonatan Indursky
Executive Producer
Dikla Barkai
Executive Producer
Jonathan Aroch
Director
Alon Zingman
SHTISEL
-How are you, Anshin?
-Thank God.
A big or small portion, Akiva?
Big, please.
-Give me some pickles too.
-No pickles.
-What do you mean?
-We've never had pickles.
Fine.
Mother?
What are you doing here?
-I missed this place.
-You mean Anshin?
Anshin? Not Anshin.
I missed the kugel.
I'm cold, Akiva, so cold
and there's nothing I can do.
I can't even get a pickle
around here.
How do you know
what Eskimos look like?
Have you ever been there?
What's the literal meaning?
What do these dreams mean?
Nothing.
After the memorial ceremony,
everything will be fine.
What did you put in the pasta?
Nothing special.
You put something in here.
No, I didn't.
Well, Rabbi Alexander,
what's new?
The rabbi has been looking for you
for over an hour.
What's in the notebook?
Nothing.
Rabbi, we want to see the zebras.
-We want to see the zebras.
-Yes, the zebras!
Oy vay! It's so far away.
There's nothing to see anyway.
Zebras are like donkeys,
only with black and white stripes,
like pajamas.
I bring you here to watch the kids
and they end up watching you.
I went to the bathroom,
that's all.
We haven't seen the hippo either.
The hippo?
Okay then
Akiva, stay at the end of the line
to make sure no one disappears.
That means you, too.
And if you want to draw the animals,
come on your own time.
Fine. Next time,
that's exactly what I'll do.
Who knows where the hippo
is mentioned in the Torah?
No one?
You know why you don't know?
Because there's no mention
of the hippo in the Torah.
Some people say that the word "Behemoth"
in the weekly "Give Ear" portion
refers to the hippo.
But no one knows for sure.
PARENTS HOME AND HOSPICE FOR THE ELDERLY
Did you see this? A session of Drashot.
A performance by "The Golden Stars."
Very nice.
This place is quite beautiful.
Tell me, Mother,
I've been meaning to ask you,
do you ever dream about Father,
may he rest in peace?
I dream about him.
Why do you ask?
No reason. Can't I ask?
Dvora comes to you
in your dreams, doesn't she?
Hey.
-Hello.
-Hello.
Right here, please.
All the rooms have a box like this,
so I ordered one, too.
Are you sure you want that thing
in your room?
Yes! I saw one just like it
in Rebbetzin Erblich's room.
That was some show.
Children singing
and a court of experts
telling them how to sing.
So wonderful!
There was this one boy,
he sang so beautifully,
I had tears in my eyes.
It reminded me of Zvi Arie,
how beautifully he sang.
Here you go, Ma'am.
There are three buttons
you have to remember.
This button turns the TV on and off,
this button changes channels,
and this is the volume, high and low.
Thank you.
God in heaven!
Everything goes these days.
A woman who has been reading
the "Woman's Bible" all her life,
who cries every year when she hears
the story of how Joseph was sold,
now has a color TV in her room.
Does that make any sense to you?
I told you,
it's not our kind of old folks home.
I could tell
as soon as I saw the director's face.
Here's your brother.
What trouble do you bear?
I'm opening a free loan fund
for the elevation of mother's soul.
Are you serious?
What kind of free loan fund?
-Heaters.
-Heaters?
Winter is over, Kiva.
Heaters? Now?
Some people are cold.
Kiva, tell me it's not because
of your dreams.
Good call, Father.
What can I say?
I've totally given up on you.
What dreams?
Never mind.
What dreams, Father?
Forget about it,
you don't want to know.
What kind of heaters?
Heaters, you know,
for the winter.
SHTISEL'S
FREE LOAN FUND FOR HEATERS
-Batya?
-Yes.
-Akiva?
-Yes.
It's been a long time
since I've been out on a date,
so I'm not sure
that I remember the rules.
The rules?
What we should talk about,
in what order, you know.
I don't think there are any rules.
Why haven't you met anyone?
You don't have to answer.
It's okay.
It's not as if there haven't been
any offers. It's just that
I'm still mourning my mother.
I wasn't told
that your mother passed away.
-Does it bother you?
-No, of course not.
You'd just think people would tell you.
Yes.
I'd be happy to tell you about myself.
-What would you like to know?
-Let me see
What are your plans
for after the wedding?
I hope to be assistant attendant
at the Satmar mikveh.
What?
I'm only joking.
Truth is I'm starting a new job.
That's nice. Where?
At Shaare Torah school,
where my father works.
That notebook I saw you with earlier,
does that have anything to do
with your new job?
No, it's
It's nothing.
Nothing?
Actually, it's not my notebook.
It belongs to my friend,
he draws in it.
No big deal.
Do you want to have a look?
Yes, if it's not against the rules.
No, he'd be pleased.
No big deal indeed.
Yes.
"Blessed are you, God,
king of the universe,
through whose word
everything comes into being."
Your turn to ask me.
Yes, of course.
But before I ask,
there's something I want to tell you
about myself,
-something you may not have been told.
-What?
If everything works out, God willing,
and we get married,
we'll have to live with my father.
You mean nearby.
Not nearby, with him.
-Really?
-That's what we agreed.
How long would we have
to live with him?
Until he's 120, God willing.
-Hello, Father.
-How are you, Giti?
Where's Akiva?
He's meeting a young woman.
Good luck.
A nice girl from a nice home.
I hope he doesn't blow it.
What's new, Giti?
Sit with me.
I only have a minute, Father.
Lippe is leaving in two days.
I meant to call him
and wish him a safe trip.
Look, Father
he doesn't want to go.
And I'd rather he didn't go either.
What can you do?
It's his job.
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
He got an offer,
to become a partner
in an electronics store
in the new mall in Ramot.
Have you been there?
No.
He needs an initial investment and
This is the store.
He says the offer is serious.
Fine, I tried.
Goodnight, Father.
See you on Wednesday.
No one says it's easy.
It wasn't easy last time either
but you got through it.
True.
Then why the fantasies
all of a sudden?
I'm sorry.
What did he say?
Nothing. He loves you.
He loves me
Don't worry, I'll be so rich one day
he'll be asking me for money.
That's enough, Lippe.
Let's pack your bags.
Let it go.
Children,
this is your new teacher,
Rabbi Akiva Shtisel.
He'll be your teacher
until Rabbi Cheshin feels better
and comes back to us,
God willing.
God willing.
-Good luck.
-Thank you.
Well
We'll start where you left off
with Rabbi Cheshin.
I was told you got up to
"An ox that gored a cow."
Do you know on what page it is
in the Gemarah?
Anyone? Page 46.
Do you know why?
Because after the ox gores the cow
it goes
"Moo."
"Moo."
Page 46.
Quiet.
Quiet!
What's your name?
-Rotstein.
-Your first name.
Israel.
Israel, go tell the principal
what you did to the Gemarah.
Go on.
Hurry up.
Does anyone else want to go
to the principal's office? Good.
Open the Gemarah on page 46.
Did you put a tomato in here?
That's interesting,
mine has a pickle.
What's so interesting about that?
You mixed them up, you klutz.
You put the tomatoes with the mayo
and the pickles with the cheese.
Come on.
Give me your sandwich,
we'll fix it.
Maybe I'm not cut out for this.
You're right,
making sandwiches is not easy.
Being a rabbi.
You just started
and you're already giving up?
I yelled at them,
I threatened them.
I even sent this kid
to Wasserstein's office.
You sent a kid to Wasserstein
on your very first day?
It's not Wasserstein,
I feel bad for the boy.
I bullied him.
Who is the boy?
-Israel Rotstein.
-Oy vay. Rotstein?
He's an orphan.
So? I'm an orphan too.
Hold on, Rabbi Alexander.
Patience.
Rabbi, Rabbi.
Israel, how are you?
Fine. What are you doing here?
Me? I was passing through
on my way to an important errand.
So, I was passing through and
I drew a picture in my notebook.
You see, Israel?
I draw, just like you.
Do you want to take a look?
All right, if the rabbi allows it.
It's very nice, Rabbi.
Very professional.
Tell me, Israel,
are you here by yourself?
I'm with my mother.
Look, Mother, he drew this.
The new rabbi I told you about.
TO OUR TEACHER AND RABBI
Your rabbi draws very well.
Give the rabbi his notebook
and we'll be on our way.
Yes.
Why don't they want
to go through with it?
-What?
-Perkovich.
They don't want to go through with it.
Is that what Konigsberg said?
-Did you insult her?
-Not at all!
The meeting went very well.
-Then why don't they want you?
-It doesn't matter.
Father, listen to this,
a matchmaker from Bnei Brak
called me today.
He had an interesting proposal.
He did?
A 30-year-old
woman.
Really?
What was she waiting for?
She's a widow.
-A widow?
-And she has a son.
But he said she's very special.
She must be.
What did you say?
That I'll think about it.
You'll think about it?
What are you, divorced?
Do you wet your bed?
Are you deranged?
The chutzpah!
He's out of deadbeats in Bnei Brak
so he's looking for good souls
in Jerusalem.
GVILI FAMILY
Tasty?
-When is the year of mourning over?
-On Wednesday.
We'll do everything by the book.
Mishnayos, liqueur, Psalms
and we'll get through it.
Giti will make the grivalach
like Dvora used to make it.
Then we'll listen to
the London Jewish Boys' Choir.
We haven't listened to music
for a whole year.
You know,
I dreamt about her last night.
What did you dream about?
It was a very strange dream.
I go to Anshin's,
and I see a bunch of Eskimos.
-Do you know what they are?
-Of course.
Around ten Eskimos
with their coats and furs
They're eating cholent and kugel
and galer with horseradish.
An extraordinary abundance of food.
What do you think?
-Strange.
-Exactly.
You know what's really strange?
That Dvora is there too, at Anshin's,
eating cholent and she's cold.
Very cold.
What do you think it means?
It's between you and her.
Why are you asking me?
Once I saw a movie about Eskimos.
Do you know what they do
with their elderly?
They dress them in their furs,
they embrace,
then they push them into the snow
and that's that.
That's how they die.
Alone in the dark.
Those Gentiles,
not a drop of compassion.
So you see,
the rock was placed
on the opening of the well.
Israel, wait a moment.
How are you, Israel?
How's the family?
-Everyone's fine, thank God.
-Great.
Do you often go to the zoo?
Sometimes.
I didn't go on the trip this week,
so my mother took me.
-I see Were you sick?
-No.
My mother doesn't allow me
to go on school trips,
so she takes me afterwards,
so I don't miss out.
I see.
So, tell me
-where does your mother work?
-At the bank in Beit Israel.
Very nice.
Okay, you can go out and play,
Israel. Thank you.
Okay then
sign here and here,
but sit over there and read it over.
Ask me if you have any questions.
Hello.
Israel's new rabbi, right?
How can I help you?
I want to open an account.
I started a new job and--
I'm sorry, but to open a new account
you have to see Reuven or Gitit.
Take a number and wait your turn.
Look, Elisheva,
I was hoping we could meet.
How about it?
What?
Please, meet me in the lobby
of the Kings Hotel.
I'll be there at 9:00 p.m.
9:00 p.m. I'll be waiting.
Pardon me.
The ride costs 70 shekels,
but they're always late.
Yes.
What's the matter?
Nothing.
We have cows in Israel
don't we, Mother?
Yes.
Then why does Father have to go so far
to work in a slaughterhouse?
There are lots of cows here,
but it's best to bring them
from Argentina.
Here it is.
Help your mother, okay?
-Have a safe trip.
-Thank you.
I miss you already.
Me too.
What a big girl.
It's not right.
Is this what I get
for leaving home for six months?
You want me to get on the plane
feeling like this?
You're right. I'm sorry.
This is hard, that's all.
It's hard for me too,
but you don't see me crying.
Excuse me, sir,
no smoking, please.
He thinks I have something
against him.
-I say yes, he says no.
-I say yes, he says no.
Listen to a smart man.
Tell him.
-You're stressed out.
-Stressed out.
-Give me a sip of beer.
-Keep away from my beer.
Take mine.
If I wanted some of yours,
I would have ordered my own.
Make me a potato kugel.
Make it boiling hot.
It's hot out of the oven.
And pickles, Anshin.
No nonsense.
What nonsense?
-You're wrong.
-Tell him, tell him.
-Give me a sip of beer.
-No.
Hello.
So, Shtisel, the doomed, huh?
He always tells me it's boiling hot,
and it's as cold as a grave.
I know what you mean.
You can always take it home
and heat it up in the oven.
-Did you see that?
-How could I miss it?
Free heaters at the end of winter.
A boiling pot spilled on a woman
on Hanna Street in Jerusalem.
Gentlemen, I'm off.
Where's the vest, Anshin?
Dear God, I can't do this anymore!
I have to make a change.
-How about changing sides?
-What?
Winter is back, Gentlemen.
Winter is back.
SHTISEL
-Hello.
-Hello.
I heard you have a free loan fund
for heaters.
Yes, yes.
-What time is it?
-I'm sorry.
I got up this morning with the flu.
My apartment is freezing.
Yes, of course. Just a minute.
Two spirals or three?
Three, of course.
The more the merrier.
Neshama letters.
NUN.
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet,
and a light unto my path.
I have sworn, and have confirmed it,
to observe thy righteous ordinances.
I am afflicted very much;
quicken me, according unto thy word.
Accept, the offerings of my mouth,
and teach me thine ordinances."
Look at this, it's all wet.
The letter SHIN.
"Princes have persecuted me
without a cause;
but my heart standeth
in awe of thy words.
I rejoice at thy word,
as one that findeth great spoil"
HERE LIES OUR DEAREST MOTHER
DVORA SHTISEL
-Hello, Grandmother.
-Hello.
I've just been to the cemetery.
That's America for you.
Not like the atheists who raise
one child and two dogs.
You see? They have five children.
Ridge, Thorn, Bill,
Samantha, the blonde and their dog,
the sweet lamb.
Yes, very nice.
How about I get us a taxi
and you come with me for dinner?
No, Zvi Arie, I'm staying here.
Do you mind?
You'll be in my heart.
I'm not as I used to be.
It's not so easy, getting up,
going out, getting up.
Besides, you don't have an elevator.
I saw a notice in the lobby,
Rabbi Neugershel is giving a lecture.
-Would you like to go?
-Rabbi Neugershel?
-From the radio?
-Yes.
He's wonderful.
They provide very interesting activities.
Let's go then.
I'll go with you.
-It's about to start.
-All right.
Are you coming to hear
Rabbi Neugershel?
He can kiss my tuches.
Does he listen to me?
Why should I listen to him?
But he's a sage, isn't he?
I never tested him.
America
Zvi Arie?
Zvi Arie? Where are you?
I'm coming!
The grivalach are delicious.
Well then
the time
has come.
CHILDREN CHOIR
What now? Can't we have a moment
of peace and quiet?
It's about the free loan fund.
Okay, I'll
I'll take care of it.
Excuse me, Father.
Hello.
Hello.
Do you have any heaters left?
Yes, of course.
I have many.
We only need one.
Just a minute.
It smells like
-Grivalach.
-Yes.
-Thank you.
-Wait, Elisheva
I have to make sure it works.
Oh.
Akiva, what's going on?
Are you coming?
Yes, I'll be right there.
Careful. It's hot.
Thank you.
Akiva!
SHTISEL