Small Time Gangster (2011) s01e01 Episode Script

- Hi, hon.
- Hey, we need bread.
Yeah, alright, yeah.
I'll drop off and get some on the way home.
Why are you whispering? - I'm not I'm not whispering.
- Yes, you are.
I'm not.
I'm with a client.
OK? Oh.
OK.
OK.
- Love you.
Bye.
- Love you.
Bye.
Hey, boys! Behind on your payments, fellas? It's time to pay up.
Or not.
Hey, gorgeous.
Yeah, sorry I couldn't talk before.
Yeah, that's alright.
Tell the kids I'll be home soon, eh? Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, hon.
Yeah, love ya.
Bye.
They won't even be awake.
We'll see about that.
Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Matt! Santa's been.
Oh! I think the reindeer, too! Ho, ho, ho! - Merry Christmas, everybody! - Dad! Fucking git.
Merry Christmas! How did I fall for such a bad, bad man? Then again, I do prefer a man in uniform.
Why couldn't you have been a cop instead of a cleaner? You call this a present? - What am I supposed to with this? - You can't make me play soccer.
I haven't worn these since '93, mate.
My boys need to breathe! Mum, is that you down there? - What were you doing down? - Oh, that is disgusting! - Oh, my God! You guys are gross! - Out! Out now! You dirty dog.
It's work.
- Gotta go.
- Not today.
Tony, it's Christmas lunch! High-rise office job, Cath.
Triple-time.
Oh, well.
Alright.
One o'clock on the dot, you workaholic.
It won't take long.
Promise.
Can you get me some cream when you're out, if it's not too much trouble, handsome? Can do.
I'm gonna drop in to the work Christmas party.
- Are you coming? - No, mate.
No.
Wasn't invited.
You're part of the furniture, mate.
- They'll just assume you'll be there.
- Exactly.
No, no.
I'll keep an eye on the young fella for you, OK? Suit yourself, mate.
You work too hard, Steve.
You wanna take a break once in a while, mate.
Ah, merry Christmas, brother! Want one on the house? I'd love to, but I've gotta see Darlene.
Are you sure? I just thought, you know, two single blokes, no ties.
A bit of a bonding session over a couple of cold ones.
- Bonding? Where'd you get that from? - Tony? Hey! - You've caught me in a fashion crisis.
- Yeah, the Christmas do.
Right.
- Do me up, will you? - Yeah, yeah, sure.
How's it all going? The kids and Shirley, is it? - Cathy.
- Oh, Cathy.
Good.
Sure you don't want to bring them for the party later? I know.
You've got a family.
It's complicated enough, right? What do you think, too much? No.
No, you look great.
Ah lab money.
And you said you had another job for me, yeah? Yeah.
- Owes ten grand.
- You brought me in today for 10K? Like I said, the boss is on Barry's back, so he's crackin' down on us.
- Hey, this is Artie's place.
- I know.
Well, he's been part of the crew forever.
No, no, you're gonna have to run this by Barry.
He's not gonna want me hurting one of our own.
Like I said, he's cracking down.
But Artie took me to my first grand final, all sorts of stuff.
This isn't right.
How far does he want me to go? Hey, it's ten grand.
Do what you'd usually do.
Look, we've gotta have boundaries.
Discipline.
- Darl, this is - Steve! Tony, we've all got a job to do.
And none of the other boys are as good as you.
Will you go for a drive with Tony? I don't need a minder.
No offence, mate.
Hey, it's just a bit of company.
We're all friends, aren't we? Hmm there's still streaks.
I can see them from here.
Tony! Shit.
Mate.
- Good to see you.
- How ya doing, mate? - Merry fucking Christmas! - You too! Grab us a sixie out of the fridge, babe.
Actually, I thought we might go out for one.
Erm I'm not going to the Christmas do, mate.
Not this year.
Artie Go up the front, mate.
Let's go for a walk.
Guys, this is me here, not some bloody civilian.
- It's just a walk.
- You stay here.
- Yeah, but Darlene said - I said, stay here.
This place always gives me the shits.
Yeah, well, count your blessings.
Borrowing ten grand from Barry, it might have been the forest.
Yeah, right.
So you're only gonna break every bone in my fucking body.
- Cheers.
- Relax, I'm not gonna I can't believe this! Of all the people.
I took you to your first grand final! I got you those brass knuckles from America, the posh ones! - Artie! Artie! - Ow! Mate, it's alright, mate.
It's OK.
It's bloody broken.
Borrowing money from Barry, what were you thinking, mate? Just tell him I need more time.
I got a sure thing.
The New Year's Day at Flemington.
Next week.
It's not gonna work.
You know how he is.
- This will do, though, won't it? - No, not quite.
Oh, no, Tone, please! Artie, Artie, just calm down, mate.
Alright? I never thought you'd do this to me, mate! I thought we were mates! Get off the road, you idiot! Artie! Artie! What the fuck?! You just hit him! Artie! Artie, come on, mate! Talk to me! Artie! Oi! Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! Oi! Stop! Stop! Hang in there, Artie.
You'll be right, mate.
Jesus, how about a bit of indication? It's a lost bloody art.
- Hospital's that way.
- He's beyond that.
We need to get rid of the evidence.
- It was a fucking accident! - Alright, Tones.
I've got your back.
A total accident.
- We've gotta help him! - There's no point.
- He's fucked.
- No, I'm not.
Never been better.
That's just a bit of wind.
They all do that.
- Hospital, now! - He'll talk.
- Artie's not gonna dob! - I fucking will! He's just hurtin'.
He'll calm down, alright? Like fuck I will! - Artie, Artie, listen to me, mate.
- Help! - Artie, calm down, mate! - Help! Artie, it's alright! - Help! - Pull over.
Jesus Christ.
Artie.
- Help! Someone! - Take it easy.
Hey, dipshit, shush.
Right.
I've been trying to help you, for fuck's sake, so just shut up and let me, will ya? Please don't kill me.
I've just been trying to give you this, mate.
Why? - Not for Barry? - What do you reckon? But that's not ten Gs.
Oh, shit.
Look, it's a start, isn't it, mate? I know you'll pay me back one day.
What, all of it? - In one go? - Shut up! Look, if anyone finds out that I'm doing this They're gonna push you in front of a van, too.
For the last fucking time, I Artie No, no, no, Artie.
Artie? Artie! Artie! Artie, don't do this to me! Artie! Tony I have seen some cold shit in my time but this I can't I can't do this to Artie.
Fuck, I couldn't live with myself.
Well, we've gotta get rid of the evidence.
Look, he's not fucking evidence! Well, this is the way we do it.
And how would you know? I helped Johnno chop up Smithy last year.
Besides, you got a better idea? Anything but this.
- I'll do it.
- No.
No.
It's it's my responsibility, mate.
I'll I'll do it.
Rowan, two bourbons.
Don't do it.
They're gonna find out sooner or later.
It's best it comes from me.
Just say that, you know, he took off.
He went to the Gold Coast or something.
Look, mate, I've got your back.
Merry Christmas, boys.
You look terrible.
Where's Artie? Seriously? Shit.
That's a first.
Hey, Barry only wanted you to rough him up a bit.
I know.
I didn't mean to.
It just - You let me break it to him, OK? - Nah.
Nah, it's my mess.
I'll Look, mate, I think you should take off before the big boss-man gets here.
Hey, guys.
Hey! Barry's here.
Nice to know you've got my back, mate.
I'm sorry, mate.
You know the effect she has on me.
Look Fuck! Let me guess, Barry.
A little Christmas present to yourself? Sydney bosses, actually, Darlene.
Now it's been a good year.
A lot of hard work.
But don't think I've forgotten you fellas.
Had to get something for my troops, to say, "Well done.
" Prawns and lobster for everyone! Eh? - Baz? Barry, have you got a sec, mate? - Here, give us a hand with that.
Wacko, eh? I'll deal with it, Darlene.
I've gotta have a little chat before we eat.
You and me.
Now.
Wait, I said.
Is it true what I'm hearing? You killed Artie? Just 'cause he owed me ten grand? Yeah, yeah, but I Barry, I Oi! Listen up! There's something you blokes should know about Tony.
He knows how this crew works! We're not some bunch of animals.
We're a team.
With discipline and rules.
Tony he not only plays by 'em, but he makes sure you do too.
Of course, there is the small matter of Artie's 10,000.
The Sydney bosses have gotta be paid.
But you can work it off.
Tony, do the honors.
I never thought you'd do this to me! I thought we were mates! - Hey, babe.
What's up? - You missed lunch.
Sorry about that.
How's it going? Perfect.
Just perfect.
Matt, leave his nipples alone! This is like being trapped in some pathetic suburban nightmare.
- Mel, get your mother her wine.
Pronto.
- Get it yourself, you alco! Matt, Matthew! Cover up his chest, for Christ's sake.
He's a war hero.
- Tony - Look, just tell me what's if you could please get me some cream.
And your arse home.
Right now.
- I'm not interrupting, am I? - No, mate.
No, no.
No.
Good.
Follow me.
Tony? Why? Why? What, have you got something better to do? No.
Any chance I could stop off for some cream? It's a nice place you've got here, Baz.
You haven't got a family, have you? - No.
- There's an old saying.
"Single men live like kings and die like dogs.
" "Married men live like dogs" - And die like kings.
- That's it.
Er, Jan and me, we've got two boys, Charlie and Nicky.
They've grown up with all this.
Charlie's the oldest.
He's a good boy, but he's a bit cocky.
Now, one day, our crew will be his crew.
But, see, if he's cocky, someone might come along and take it off him.
And I would die before I let that happen.
So I want you to teach him.
You know, take him under your wing.
Show him how you work.
Barry, obviously, I'm flattered, mate, but isn't there someone that'd be better qualified, you know, a bit higher up? Well, I want him to learn how it all works.
From the ground up.
And who better to teach him? You've been in our crew for, what, er, 20 years? Yeah Les brought me in to work for your old man.
Oh, yeah, I remember.
From a fucking orphan waif to our best.
And now, you'll take my son on your jobs, just like Les did with you.
It's a, er it's an honor.
Hey, Charlie! This is Tony.
There you go, boys.
Nicky, Charlie, Janet.
This is Tony.
Christmas cake? Cuppa? Oh, no, thanks, love.
Nice to meet you, though.
- Isn't she a doll? - Hey, let my guy shoot! - Dad! - Yes! Ten times in a row! Hey, Nicky, think about it! You got shot in the face fair and square! - I hate you! - Go sulk, you little pussy! Charlie! Tony here is the real fucking deal.
You're gonna be working with him.
You're gonna show me how to waste some fuckers, huh? No, dickhead.
Not like that.
See what I mean? No.
You are just gonna watch, understand? Real close.
And then you're both gonna report back to me on how it goes.
And you will take care of my little boy, won't you, Tony? Shit.
Cream.
Artie, you can't do this to me! Artie! Jingle fucking bells.
Mum!