Smiling Friends (2020) s01e01 Episode Script

1 Pim, can we watch something else? No, shh.
It's about to get really good.
It's about to get really good.
Trust me.
Hey, Alan.
What are you, uh, what are you doing back there, man? I think we might have a mouse in the office.
My precious piece of cheese has gone missing, unless one of you took it.
I mean, I don't know.
I, uh, I haven't seen your pieces of cheese.
Oh, you missed it.
What? Oh, just, um, the character did a spin.
It was, like, a cool spin.
That was the whole reason I was showing it to you, but, yeah.
It was It was just kind of cool.
Okay.
Hey, guys.
So we got a job? Yeah, but you sort of caught me in the middle of something, here.
You guys don't have a problem watching someone eat, do you? Not really, no.
Go go ahead, man.
Go ahead.
All right.
So I got a call from a mom today.
She's concerned about her son, says he's been, quote, "A bit mopey lately.
" She's wondering if you guys could put a smile on the little rascal's face.
Uh, they're at 8501 West Tyson Hey, no biting.
Hey! No biting.
Okay? You want me to bite you? Yeah.
You know that hurts Daddy.
I told you, silly.
No biting, okay? You're my good little baby, huh? Yeah.
Yeah, mm.
Uh, yeah.
I mean, no.
For sure, we could do that.
We could help the kid smile and everything.
Did you need everything else or is that No.
Now get out there, and make someone smile.
This is going to be great, Charlie.
I love helping kids.
I love kids, Charlie.
I love kids! Uh, Pim, I I would really not be screaming that at the top of your lungs.
Oh, hello.
Are you the Smiling Friends? That's us, ma'am, here to bring smiles and make the world a better place.
Uh, is your son home? Oh, yes.
Yes.
He is.
Come on in.
Come right in.
I'm so glad you boys came.
Uh, he's just right in here.
I hope he's not sleeping.
Desmond! The Smiling Friends are here.
Hey, little buddy.
How are you doing? Hello.
What's, uh, what's up, man? What's happening, big guy? What's up with the gun? Oh, nothing.
I was probably going to use it to shoot myself or something.
Oh, you don't need to do that, man.
Why don't you just put the gun down, buddy? Yeah.
D don't worry.
Things are going to be okay.
What's wrong? Well, life is not going that great for me.
My wife left me.
My kids left me.
My dog died from a broken heart last fall, so I don't know.
Yeah.
Probably just going to end it all or something.
Pim, can I, uh, can I talk to you for a second? Look, Pim.
I know it's our job to help this guy and everything, but I think this guy is a lost cause.
He's obviously made up his mind.
Why don't we just cut our losses and get out of here? Oh, come on.
That's nonsense, Charlie.
We've never given up on a job so far.
Um, hello there, sir.
I know you don't know who I am, but my name is Pim.
I know right now things seem bleak, but I promise to you that by the end of this beautiful day, you will have a big, gorgeous smile on that handsome face of yours.
Oh, won't you give us a chance? Okay, but if you can't help me, I'm going to shoot myself and make you two watch.
Okay, not sure about that, but yay! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
One, two.
Hmm, Fleb, did you take a paper clip? I counted 74 last time, and now there's only 73.
I am not accusing you.
I'm simply asking.
A-ha! I got you, you dang mouse.
I will get you.
Nobody takes Alan's precious piece of cheese and gets away with it.
Uh, hey, sorry to bother you, but did you see a mouse run through here, by chance? I don't know.
Yeah.
No clue, man.
Maybe try down there? Thanks.
I'll check it out.
By the way, for the record, you should probably knock or make yourself known next time you enter someone's place.
Dude, I don't even think you should be in here to begin with.
Yeah, not really your business, though, is it? When you're living in our office walls, yeah, it kind of is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm not I'm not doing this right now.
Bye.
Yeah, bye.
Whatever.
Hello, family! Um, so this is my new pal, Desmond.
Uh, he's been feeling a bit blue lately, so I wanted to show him one of the best things life has to offer: Quality family times.
This is my cousin, Graham Nelly.
He's a darn whiz with the skateboard, actually.
Go on.
Show him that Show him that Yeah.
I, uh, just know how to do an ollie on it, but, uh, I forgot.
Ew, Pim.
You are so stupid, right, babe? Yeah.
That's my beautiful sister, Amy.
We don't always get along, but we sure do love each other.
Pim, I genuinely hate you.
I have no love for you in any shape or form.
Right, babe? Um, uh, all right.
And over there in that empty chair is where Where my dear old dad usually sits, but tonight he's in the other room, I think.
I'm trying to work the bloody television in here! Steven, get in here, and sit at the dinner table! Your son is home! Oh, would you shut the up, woman? I was down in the bloody mines for 48 hours today! Don't you tell me to shut up! I can do what I bloody hell want! Wow, Pim.
This is really going well.
Sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I ruined it.
I'm sorry.
Is this supposed to make me not want to kill myself? Well, uh, I haven't really been home since Christmas, so I guess I forgot there's sometimes family tension.
Uh, but that's okay because there's another thing that makes life worth living: Friends! So another great thing about life is making new friends.
Anyone can be your friend, even that guy.
Hello, there.
I'm Pim.
Would you like to be our friend? What the dude? Don't touch me.
Oh, no.
I'm sorry.
Dude, what the? Why are you here, man? You're so old.
Where's your wife? Go home to your family, dude? Well, I mean, I'm not that old.
You are getting kind of old, dude.
What? Yeah.
No.
I mean, it's okay.
You know, like, we're all getting older.
I guess our best years are just behind us.
It's fine.
It just is what it is.
Exactly.
Huh, guess I'd never really thought about that before.
All right.
Going to kill myself, now.
Goodbye.
No, no, no, no! Wait! Wait, wait, wait! I know the perfect place that will definitely cheer you up.
Welcome to Dave Land.
I always come here when I feel down in the dumps.
They have the Dave Roller Coaster, the Dave toilets, Dave Snow Cones, oh, and you can even meet Dave himself.
Who's Dave? I don't know.
He's Dave, creator of Dave Land.
Come on.
Let's go on the roller coaster.
Oh, the line is short! Come out, come out, wherever you are.
I know you're in here, little mousy.
Hello? Oh, you're not a mouse at all.
Aw, everything is going to be all right.
Can I have my piece of cheese back, please? What the Hey! Come back here.
Come out of there! I want my cheese back, please.
Guys, knock it off.
Hey, sorry.
I'm back.
Oh, so that was really fun, wasn't it? Desmond, you looked so funny on that roller coaster.
Charlie, did you take any photos? No.
So what did you think, Desmond? I I bet after the teacup ride, you don't want to shoot yourself with that nasty revolver anymore.
Uh, do you feel any better? Yeah, I guess.
Aw, that's great.
Charlie, we did it, successful mission! For a bit.
Then it ended, like good things always do.
Huh? Well, yeah, but nice things can't last forever.
That's exactly it.
Are the best parts of life really just finding momentary distractions to keep yourself busy so you think about the harsh realities of life for a second? I can ride roller coasters, meet new friends, and spend time with my family all day long.
It doesn't change the fact that the Sun is just going to explode, and all this was for nothing.
Uh, Pim, did you want to show Desmond anything else, or are we, uh, are we good? Well, did you want to show me anything? Uh, all right.
Yeah.
Uh, what about that? What, the ant? Yeah.
I mean, it's kind of cool, but it doesn't make me feel any better, though.
Yeah, I know.
I didn't think so.
Okay, um, so let's go back to the office.
Uh, we just need you to sign some paperwork that says we failed to make you smile, and then you can, uh, you know, do what you got to do and all that.
Okay.
I just wanted my cheese! You had to do it, man.
It's okay.
That felt good.
Notice your food has gone missing? Hearing scratches in the walls? Finding mysterious purple shit pellets? You, my friend, may have an bliblie infestation.
Luckily for you, there's Desmond's Bliblie Control.
We'll kill them all for you: Shoot them, stab them, smash them, set them on fire.
We'll take control, bliblie control.
Call now! Huh, I guess Desmond just needed to find a purpose in life.
Yes, and I got my cheese back.
Nom.
Aw, come here, Alan, you crazy character.
Nom, nom.
Nom, nom.
Jesus Christ! What is that? What is that? I don't know.
Alan Alan, grab it.
What? Grab it.
I'm not going to grab that.
Grab it now.
You grab it.
Get it, now!