Sneakerheads (2020) s01e01 Episode Script

1
Living life, only good vibes ♪
Stay fly and I'm doing it the best ♪
My sneakers stay fresh
And I'm getting money ♪
This is how we do it on the west ♪
Getting paid on the job ain't enough ♪
So you know I gotta hustle on the side ♪
Hard times come and go
But I'm on the grind ♪
[song ends abruptly]
All right.
Okay, baby girl,
we got to hurry up and eat.
[baby giggles]
Sitter's running late.
I've got a work call in five.
Any chance you can take
Drew with you to drop Cleo?
-Sure, of course.
-Yes!
Hey.
-You are looking good, by the way.
-Thank you.
I know it hasn't been easy,
being a stay-at-home dad.
I've got five weeks left
until I take the bar.
After that, you and me
on a beach in Hawaii, no kids.
God's honest promise, I will make you
the happiest man on the planet.
Ah.
-It's 7:30, you gotta go.
-Okay. All right.
[upbeat hip-hop music]
Strap you in. Come on, Max.
All right.
-[baby crying]
-What's wrong?
The Lakers traded Jason Hoodak
and no one even cares.
-Who?
-[Max] See?
That's what I'm talking about.
Okay, Max.
[Devin] Oh!
Was that my bike?
What? No!
It was totally your bike.
Shit.
Shit.
Hey!
-We do not talk like that in this--
-[baby crying]
-Fuck!
-[car door slamming]
The Barkley brief went out yesterday,
along with your summation
of Monday's mediation.
[whispering] Seriously?
On the family computer?
Don't say my name,
you only say my name when you--
No, not a problem.
Email me your notes
and I'll get it out to you this afternoon.
You were saying?
All men do it.
Do men almost go bankrupt
because of money they spent?
That was five years ago.
Not a problem.
Yeah, okay. You, too. Okay.
What do you want me to say, Devin?
They're just sneakers.
Look, I wore these my junior year.
I averaged 22 points,
and I wore them to prom.
Plus, most importantly, I--
You had a problem, a real problem,
but we fixed it.
Where are the kids?
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
For the culture ♪
For the culture ♪
[Devin] Is this what it's come down to?
Dropping our son off at the sitter's,
just so you can buy
a pair of tennis shoes?
[Devin] What happened to you?
Marriage got you soft.
They're just sneakers.
Who cares if you never get the nod again?
What the fuck this dude
know about the nod?
Now, bang this left,
and let's get shit poppin'.
[sighs deeply]
Yeah. Get it poppin'.
Okay, okay, I'm rolling ♪
I'm riding
I'm flexing while driving ♪
You know when I come through
There best be-- ♪
Line's around the corner, dog.
On a Thursday?
It's a Hyperstrike, so…
Say what?
[people chattering]
Are you serious?
I be in it all night
I be in it all day ♪
["On the Way" by Valente playing]
Tengo hambre
Eat voices like they entrees ♪
Never been in Outkast
I ain't dissing, I know Andre ♪
Got these haters crazy
Probably shoulda got that Allstate ♪
I be trying to make a profit
No this [bleep] ain't never stopping ♪
They be throwing shade
I'ma block it, call me Corey Crawford ♪
Got them swollen pockets
Throwing money, she 'gon drop it ♪
Make it rain up on these haters
Need umbrellas, Mary Poppins, yeah ♪
Say every night, every day ♪
Soon I'm gonna get by
Ain't no other way ♪
I'd chop off both my thumbs
for this pair of sneakers.
Oh.
How much are they?
-I don't know.
-If you're not with IVs,
-the fuck you doing?
-Reselling.
So, is this line always this long?
Came across an unclaimed piece of meat
in Baja. Turned out to be Rosie.
Found a passport of yours in Sumatra.
Missed you by a week in Fiji.
But I knew you wouldn't miss
the White Cem-- Oh!
-What the fuck are those?
-They're for a good cause.
For every pair I buy,
a poor kid gets a pair.
Okay, unless that poor kid
can eat them shits to nourish his body,
it's worthless. I'm gonna tell you that.
Don't disrespect the shoe game.
Embarrassing. I can't be talking
to someone this far in line. We gotta go.
Money I'ma G though ♪
-What are you doing?
-Scanning. Don't worry.
Hey, man, real talk.
Why we stop kicking it?
Are you gonna act like you don't know?
What's up? Good to see you.
How am I supposed to know
why you won't return my calls
when you would never return my calls?
Let's not do this right now.
How's Foot Locker?
Forget Foot Locker.
Then what's up with the gear?
Figured I had it, I might ref a kids'
league while I went back to school.
-No big deal.
-You back in school?
[laughing]
-Look at me, thinking you haven't changed!
-[laughing]
Okay, you trying to get the degree.
What school?
Some night classes there on Melrose.
Hey, buy your mama something nice?
All right.
Hey. Hey, Bobby.
Since when is there a college on Melrose?
All right, guys, as obvious as it sounds,
you can't master reconstruction
without deconstruction.
-What about material?
-Corduroy's the next elephant print.
Corduroy is 100%
not the next elephant print.
-Shoe school?
-Some 11s in the same colorway
as a bowling shoe.
-No.
-Tiger Woods, he'll buy it.
-Definitely not.
-Shoe school?
-Serena Williams.
-No.
-Venus?
-No.
Dom, he's killing it right now.
-Megan Fox?
-Anyone? Anybody else?
He makes customs for Bieber,
OBJ, LBJ, all kinds of celebs.
If I want to be the best,
I got to learn from the best.
-That's what I'm doing.
-All right. What's a Hyperstrike?
Hype--? See what going ghost
for 5 years does to you?
You lose your edge, all right?
But, lucky for you,
previous transgressions
have been forgiven.
Okay, we got a 10, 9, 8, 11, 12, 12,
11, 6, I'm a 10, 13.
You good, you straight.
You can tell someone's size
just by looking at their feet?
Dope, right? I had a one-night stand
with this psychic and she got my chakras
-in order.
-That's not…
-No, no.
-Hold up. Stay.
What the fuck? You got them, right?
Hey. What's up? It's me, Bobby P,
AKA Bobby The Butcher, AKA Bobby Williams—
AKA random old dude that thinks
I give a shit who he is.
Dope shirt.
Oh, this? Thank you. I appreciate it.
I'm fucking with you. It's hideous.
Are you still running for StevieKickz?
Are you serious?
-You're gonna swipe the tens?
-This is Nori. Talk to me.
-At least--
-Tell him you want both pairs
for the price he agreed to,
or you're bouncing.
Get as many 11s as you can,
then hit Foot Action in Long Beach.
-Ask for Inny.
-I want to see them.
$450, but only
if you light your shirt on fire.
$450? Wait, no. Retail's only $220.
Then buy them retail.
No. I don't--
I don't deal with that shit, okay?
-What she say?
-No, we good.
Yo, my man!
Line's here for a reason.
Like I give a shit
about a pair of remastered IVs.
Real ballers have the OG.
-All here, man.
-Appreciate it.
Beach day in the 'Bu.
Guess you didn't get the invite.
Oxnard is the new Malibu, fool!
You'd know if you weren't
such a hypebeast!
I hope you randomly get hit by a bus!
Yes. Feels like old times, doesn't it?
Yeah, man.
-They got Is over there.
-[gasps]
-IIIs over there, VIs.
-[laughs]
Ooh. You remember these?
First pair I ever flipped.
That's so crazy.
I know. Let's get you laced up.
Oh, man, it's been a long time.
[laughs]
Oh, those are fire right there. Whoo!
Wow.
[laughs]
Who would have thought it?
Devin Clemons, back from the dead.
[scoffs]
Gia.
"Gia"? Is that really the best you can do?
Oh, my God. Come here. Get over here.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Catch me up. How you been?
I've been good. I've been busy.
Like, really, super-super busy.
-Super busy?
-Yeah.
Oh, right. Well… good for you, Dev.
Good for you.
Hey, get me a size 13.
You remember that.
You'd be surprised
at how much I remember.
[scoffs]
-The last ones.
-Thank you.
-Last pair in your size. How about that?
-Thank you.
-All right.
-[Gia laughs]
What the…?
It's Cole, I fucking guarantee it.
Hold up.
-Look.
-White Cement IVs.
-You know how we do. I wait in no lines.
-Daniel?
-Get your shit and get out!
-Fuck.
I'm so sorry about that. Here.
-You know how long we waited outside?
-Look.
If there's anything I can do
to make it up to you, let me know, okay?
It's… It's all good.
Thank you.
You look good, by the way.
He know.
You look good… You look good as well.
Shut up.
Hey, man, this is great.
Think about it.
Even if it didn't work out there,
you, me, the thrill of the game.
-What we got next?
-Good seeing you, Bobby.
You really about to blow me off?
I got something that could be huge.
-There is no us.
-And why not?
I have a family now.
Which I clearly warned you about
when you met what's-her-name.
Christine. Her name is Christine.
Does Christine wear the pantalones
in tu casa or do you?
No. I wear the pantalones in mi casa.
You also wear dad clothes and Toms, too.
You look horrible.
Let's do this. I got a hook-up
at the Foot Locker I got fired from.
-Good seeing you, Bobby.
-Bullshit! Great seeing me.
I know you didn't come for the IVs.
-You came to get your old self back.
-My old self was an irresponsible asshole.
Who was the flyest motherfucker
in every spot we rolled up in.
Now look at you.
You gonna let your wife dress you
like a bum? Is that what you gonna do?
-I know what you're doing.
-What?
It's not gonna work.
Not now, not ever, Bobby.
Then why did you come to this line, huh?
You could've went to any spot
to get your fix, but you came here.
Want to know why?
You don't know
who you are anymore, no clue.
It's called early onset midlife crisis.
That's the bad news.
The good news? I know how to fix it.
[window rolling down]
[pensive music plays]
So, the Lakers traded Jason Hoodak
two nights ago, right?
Right?
A girl I went to junior high
with's sister's dating a dude
who's cousins with
the head ball boy's girlfriend,
and she said that Hoodak,
despite his horrible jump shot,
is a huge sneaker freak.
In addition,
I have it under good authority
that dude don't keep up to date
with one of his storage units.
[giggles]
In fact, said storage unit
is up for auction today,
and I'm the only one
who knows about it, brother.
[sighs]
You 100% sure no one else knows about it?
A thousand percent sure. A thousand.
-Get in.
-Yes!
[hip-hop music]
Okay, let's do this.
[hip-hop music]
Remember that one time you found those
Diamond SBs on Craigslist for two bills?
We hopped the train to La Jolla,
got fucked up on that pier
-after you copped them. Remember?
-[laughs] Of course.
Yeah, that was awesome.
-[chuckles]
-Don't this feel like old times?
If feels like after all this time
we just, boom,
picked it right back up where we left off.
-You're the only one who knows?
-Before you say something you'll regret,
I'm equally as upset as you are.
Think, intel was off, but it wasn't wrong.
This is a bump in the road. This is--
Yo, watch where you're going, bitch.
What? What did you just call me?
I don't know why you're tripping,
but I suggest you back off before--
Yo, I want my shoes.
-Excuse me?
-Cement IVs, size 13. You swiped my pair.
Yeah, don't hate the player, my G,
hate the game.
Is this corny-ass Asian dude
trying to tell me about the game?
Corny-ass Asian dude who knew enough
to swipe your sneakers, right?
The fuck I look like?
Besides some dude
that works at Banana Republic?
I don't give a fuck.
Don't waste your energy.
He already flipped them.
Hey, that's Nori.
She the plug.
Come on, trust me on this one.
Look, okay, how do you know?
I know everything.
-How you--
-[phone chimes] Hold that thought.
Yeah, hey.
Yeah.
Is it the bass--
Do I not have bass in my voice?
No,. You're all good
on the Foamposite ParaNormans,
but he's working
on the Yellow Lobsters.
Let him know that I'm going to pay $10,000
for a pair of Carhartt 4s.
You and the rest of his list.
-Fuck it… 15K, but that's it.
-I'll see what I can do.
-You were saying?
-Yeah, I was saying,
how did you know about this auction?.
Please. I've been working
the auction circuit for years.
But you're a kid.
And you're an old man
in a pair of espadrilles.
These are not espadrilles. These are Toms
and they're for a good cause.
Haven't those kids suffered enough?
You know what? Fuck you.
Most importantly, fuck you, Bobby.
Wait, I didn't even…
You can deny it all you want,
I know you feel it, okay?
There's IVs in there, original IVs.
Not just IVs, PEs, 101s,
Friends and Familys, they all in there.
I know for a fact they in there, okay?
And we just got to believe on this one.
Trust me on this.
Hoodak, did I mention he a size 13?
You a size 13. Don't believe me,
Google that shit.
I will.
-Hoodak: H-O-O-D-A-K--
-I know how to spell. What was it again?
-H-O-O-D-A-K.
-Okay.
You got to hurry up.
They're starting the auction.
[door chirring]
Everyone gets 3 minutes to view
from this side of the line.
Don't go inside, don't touch any items.
That's the rules.
Yes. And no use of night-vision goggles,
scopes, or infrared cameras of any kind.
Good to know.
I'm Stuey, by the way.
Made my name in comics and collectibles
before transitioning to the shoe game.
We should hang out after this, right?
My treat, of course.
We should go to an escape room.
Puzzles are my jam.
All right. Back up.
All right, we're gonna start this
bidding on 8104.
One thousand to the
always-pleasant lady in a hoodie.
-Eleven hundo.
-$1,100 over here.
I got this. $1,101.
$1,500.
-So we're just skipping there?
-$1,525.
-$1,805.
-$1,805.
What we got next? What?
-$2,000.
-Twenty-five hundo.
$2,501.
-$3,000.
-$3,000.
They're kids.
How did they get this money?
-Four geezys.
-Four geezys.
You got to. Have to. We here.
We came this far.
Look, she out. This is it.
Hey, looks like I win again, losers.
You gonna let it happen?
We came this far.
Fifty-fifty split?
[Auctioneer]  Four geezys
going twice on 8104.
Fuck it. Five stacks.
Yes! Go big or go home, baby!
-Five stacks.
-Deuces, yo.
-Takes money to make money.
-Know what I'm saying? Five stacks!
-Five stacks, baby!
-[laughs]
What the fuck do you mean
you don't have actual money?
Relax, okay? I put all my money
into shoe school. I'm investing in myself.
No. You said
we were going 50/50 on this.
Your 50's 100% of the required capital.
My 50 percent is what we in the know
refer to as "sweat equity."
Swequity.
[laughs]
Swequity, cool.
I'm gonna write that down.
Fuck your damn swequity!
Do you think I got five large
laying around? Do you think that?
You got a house in LA.
I refuse to believe you're not doing okay.
Christine's parents left us that house
when they moved to Encinitas.
I'm not about to risk
my family's vacation money,
let alone my marriage,
for no dumbass storage unit.
It ain't no dumbass!
-Dumbass storage!
-[clears throat]
I'm sorry. This is a great… Right?
-Great storage.
-It's clean and everything.
-I'm not about to do it.
-Do the math.
There's like, what? 50 boxes in here.
More than 50.
If we can sell them for retail,
we'll get at least ten Gs, minimum.
You gonna walk away from ten G's
because you scared of your wife?
You woke up this morning,
you was nothing but a husband.
You pull this off,
you'll go home a fucking hero.
You'll be like Anna from Frozen.
She a hero for the kids.
[rumbling]
Just do it.
Don't do it.
Like Anna from Frozen.
[suspenseful music]
You take Discover?
Ta-ta-ta-daa ♪
Here we go. 
-Okay.
-[laughing]
Hmm. What does that say?
-You kidding me?
-Yeah.
The Shattered Backboards?
-Shake it and read it.
-Oh, yeah! All right.
Corked Lebron 10s!
No way!
These are Kobe 9 HTMs.
-Are you serious?
-Guess how much those are. Guess
-Four, five hundred.
-Try $10,000.
-Liar! Look, these are not worth ten!
-Those are $10,000.
Look on the GOAT app.
Size 12 and a half.
-$10,000 dollars! [laughs]
-$10,000. Whoo!
The Grateful 3s!
Yo, that's $18,000!
-These are Air Mag boxes!
-Air Mags!
These are $20,000. It say $20,000?
Okay, hold up.
-Shit!
-They're $20,000!
No… No way. Kentucky 8s.
-That say… $40,000!
-$40,000!
[both singsong] $40,000!
Well, you can tell everybody ♪
Yeah, you can tell everybody ♪
Go ahead and tell everybody ♪
I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
Yes I am, yes I am, yes I am ♪
I'm the-- ♪
-What?
-Why is there only… one of them?
-What?
-Only one shoe in there.
-They can't all be like that.
-That one, too! Okay, only one.
-They can't all be like… Okay.
-It's only the left shoe!
Check another one!
-What? Oh! One Air Mag!
-Wait…
Not all of them. Come on. No, no, no.
That's…
-Shit!
-That's…
This could be $20,000.
You could have $20,000.
Hate to break it to you,
they're all gonna be like that.
This is for all you lying-ass man-hos
leaving your pregnant girlfriends
for chicken-nugget-looking side chicks.
Okay. Wait. Breathe. Breathe.
Fuck you, Bobby!
If you… think about it, this is…
This right here
is just a bump in the road.
Listen to this. I used to work with a guy
who knew someone who only had one leg.
His right leg.
But not the point.
We can find people in similar situations.
Let me explain. I got other ideas, too.
I got this app, dope app.
Like Tinder but for sneakerheads.
You take a picture of your shoe.
If someone likes it and they swipe right,
they pair up with you.
That's dope, right?
Come on, admit it.
Ask me what it's called.
-Ask me what it's called.
-No.
It's called Sole Mates.
That's gonna be huge.
-I'm telling you it's gonna be huge.
-Move.
But wait. Okay.
Eh-- Look.
This-- This is a side hustle.
The-- The app is the dream.
The real money comes in when…
when we find the Zeros.
That's when the real money comes in.
I know you can't believe this.
[stammers] I can't code, okay? But…
uh, when we find the Zeros… 
the most elusive shoe known to man.
The Zeros.
[pensive, gentle music]
["All Is Forgiven" by Alekesam
playing over radio]
The depth of the liner ♪
Watch the characters come alive ♪
[knock on window]
Dip into the system ♪
Hey. Everything okay?
Yeah, totally.
I just was trying to hear
the end of this song.
Well, come inside.
-Cleo and I are about to start Moana.
-Okay. [fakes chuckle]
Hello?
Uh-huh.
Oh.
Hold on. It's Discover.
Do you know anything about a $5,000 charge
at a storage facility in West Adams?
What? That's crazy.
Okay, it definitely wasn't us.
So, um… So, what did they say?
They're gonna have
their fraud department look into it.
Could take from 10 to 15 business days
to figure out what happened.
Oh.
Well, okay. Cool, cool.
Um… Any-- Anything else?
No, just that. And I love you.
I love you, too.
[hip-hop music]
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
For the people ♪
For the culture ♪
That's how we do ♪
Fuck all the vultures ♪
Hey, we don't know ya ♪
Hey, we'll just ghost ya ♪
Hey, fuck all the vultures ♪