Space Dandy (2014) s01e01 Episode Script
Live with the Flow, Baby
1 Space Dandy is a dandy in space.
He is a galaxy-wide alien hunter.
On a journey of adventure to new worlds, he searches for unknown extraterrestrials.
These are the spectacular tales of these alien hunters! These days, I don't know where I've come from I've forgotten the ways Of love 'cause it's been a while For us, life is five minutes' introspection You're real pushy, but when your jewel is taken away, your beauty is touched by sadness Sometimes sending tears flying with a wild sha-la-lu-la Looking at the shooting stars, it's simple We're all human Viva tears, it's okay for them to overflow, baby They're not wasted Can 't stop, I love you like this Tears, tears, that's right Those tears, will you leave them to me? When you fall, get right back up again Let's go together! Tell me "This is the best" again Tears, tears, goodbye! Boobs, boobs-that's what everyone says.
However, if you ask me, those guys are all a bunch of hopeless dumbasses.
Guys who only ever look at boobs just don't know the measure of a fine woman.
More than anything else, the most important thing is Hey, are you listening to me, QT?! Do you know what it is? Hmm is it the heart, or some such? Geez, you don't understand a thing, you mechanical punk.
That's not what I'm talking about! W-What is the measure, then? Oh, you want to know? What it is is "K-E-T-S-U", Yes, "ketsu", and that means "ass", baby.
Guys that don't realize the charm of the hind end are those who are at the kindergarten level.
That's something I want those idiots who only check out breasts to understand.
That's what I'm saying, baby.
Ah What kind of off-the-mark reply is that? I mean, even Agnes Lum has all that attention directed at her boobs, but the fact is Who is that? And for that matter, we're jumping right in! Don't we have any prologue or anything for this? Space Century 0014.
Mankind has advanced to the far reaches of the galaxy.
However, in the vastness of the universe, mankind is nothing more than a speck.
There are countless aliens, such as this, that, and the other, swarming around all over And the rest is so long, I'm omitting it.
Seems like a half-hearted explanation, doesn't it? Kind of a "what's the use?" feeling to it, huh? But then, this is no time lo be talking about this pointless nonsense! We have to get to work, or we won't make any money, and the story won't go anywhere.
What choice is there? Let's go, over there.
Eh? Over where? That's obvious, isn't it? To Boobies! Eh? You mean, that place with the busty waitresses? Yeah.
Why? Oh, for work's sake, of course.
There, you see, is where all sorts of aliens gather together.
It's the only way.
The only way.
"Live With the Flow, Baby" Yay! Hey, Dandy Hmm? You're enjoying yourself like crazy, aren't you? You dumbass.
This is camouflage, you see, camouflage.
While I'm here, pretending to play around like this, you research any rare aliens, okay? Are you sure this is camouflage? Boobies- one of a chain of what are called breastaurants, with locations spread out across the galaxy.
Breastaurants are a place where those with giant breasts- that is ta say, where women with huge boobs work as waitresses.
And since depending on the location, one can meet many different types of women, Dandy considers visiting this chain Of restaurants to be his purpose in life.
His dream is to someday take over all of these restaurants.
Hey, that was more detailed than the previous explanation, wasn't it? Thank you for waiting! Yoo-hoo! Thanks for waiting! I'm Honey! All right! Here's your space parfait and space anmitsu sampler.
Can I get you anything to drink? Gilgamesh tequila.
Sir, what is your name? Dandy.
Space Dandy.
So tell me, tell me, what do you do? Hm-hm, would you like to know? Yes I would! It's a job that begins with a Try to guess it.
Well, okay, let's see Ujimushi! [maggot.]
No, that's not really a job Then, what is it? As it happens, I am a galaxy-wide alien hunter.
Yay! Yay! Oh, Dandy! Hey, why are you reading that book while you're working? Well Don't robots usually have everything about whatever alien it is already input into them, and they can tell this stuff automatically? Those with the latest software can, but I can't update mine.
Oh, I see, I see.
Youâre an old model, so you can't do that.
Ah, sorry about that, sorry about that.
I shouldn't have asked, huh? Maybe it's about time to buy a replacement.
Huh? What is it? Are you actually depressed? Don't be silly! What are you saying?! It's not like robots ever get mental-Ah! What is it? Did you find something? My battery has only 5 percent remaining.
Sheesh! Go to power-saving mode! Dandy, what about that one? The one at the window? Hmm? That one? The other one, the other one.
Hmm? That one? A little more to the left.
This one? Yes, yes, this one.
That one looks like this Betelgeusian, doesn't it? It does? But the area around the cheek is different, isn't it? Hmm? Now that you mention it, maybe.
Well, that's more or less good enough, isn't it? Why, you As soon as you go into power-saving mode, you start talking gibberish.
And now you're going to sleep, to boot?! Hey pal, you got a minute? Huh? Y-Yeah.
I haven't seen you around.
Where are you from? The Tochigi Galaxy, maybe? U-Uh, no, I'm not really secretly recording, or anything What world are you from? Tell me.
Ah! Hey, wait! Whoa! I'm afraid that doesnât cuttlefish it, baby! - I'm sorry! I won't do it again! Forgive me! - There he is! Here! Anyone who orders one of these gets this sticker.
Ow.
Are you? Dr.
Gel, target acquired.
It is him, no doubt about it.
Well done, Bea.
I've finally found you, Dandy.
"Gogol Imperial Space Force" I forgot to mention this earlier, but currently, "Jaicro Imperial Space Force" the forces Of the Gogol Empire and the Jaicro Empire are wing to conquer the universe.
Meanwhile, unrelated to this Oh, yeah? So then, you find aliens that no one has ever seen before, and when you register them, you get money? Yeah, that's about right.
That is, as long as the Alien Registration Center acknowledges them.
I know where aliens like that are.
Eh?! Could it be true? He says it like it's nothing.
Hmm Should we be trusting this guy? Well, why not? Um, excuse me, but could you please lower your voices? So tell me, what is your name? Huh? Sorry, one more time.
Huh?! Did you get that? Not at all.
It's a very common name.
Well, he looks like a cat, so I guess we can call him Meow.
I am not a cat, I am a Betelgeusian.
He was meowing earlier, after all.
I was not! You're certain it was him? No doubt about it.
All right.
Then I'm sending you the Seventh Fleet of the Galactic Farce.
Thank you very much.
Remember, Dr.
Gel.
He is the one that holds the key to the Gogol Empire- no, to the entire universe.
Make sure to catch him, no matter what underhanded means you must use.
You can count on me, Excellency.
It was right around here, most likely.
That's pretty far away.
Or maybe it was here.
That's completely different, isn't it? Where was it? Mm Dandy, what do we do? Whatever works.
Considering it in terms of distance Anything is fine.
Hey, Dandy, please think about this.
Don'! just pretend to listen.
You dumbass! When youâre swimming against a raging current, what's the point? What good is it to swim vainly against the flow? If you try to do it, you just end up drowning.
"Pointless" Everything about it is pointless! Living by going with the flow- that is who I am, baby! It's almost like he said something profound there.
But he hasn't said a thing.
The Seventh Fleet has arrived.
Just you watch.
In the name of the Gogol Empire, I swear, you will not escape! It's pretty far.
Aren't you going to warp, or anything? You dumbass.
Warping consumes gasoline.
- Besides- - So what if it does? Word is that if you warp too much, it makes your hair thinner.
Heyo! What is this thing? The warp device is out of whack.
- I-I'll go bald! - Now, now, now, take it easy.
You dumbass! This is your fault! Target is going to warp! Hmm, they spotted us! Pursuing them to their destination at once! Don't let them escape! I'll chase you to the far side of hell, Dandy! Where are we? Analyzing Wait, I can't read this! Current location unknown.
Then just say that! What is that there? What? It looks like a string, huh? A string, huh? What do you think? Let's try pulling on it.
Eh? Just a moment, please! Are you sure we should? I know! That's a cosmic siring, isn't it? If we touch or pull on them unmindfully, there's a chance it will distort time-space even further, and we might never get back.
Heyo! Ah, hey W-What is this?! That is not warp! He is probably using some unknown energy! He's what? You mean this is the payonium we've heard of?! Hey, now, where is this place? Ah, I seem to remember this world.
I'm sure this is it.
Let's go have a look.
Matter transporter on standby.
Switching on! Um Hmm? Nothing is happening.
It's an old model.
It's going to take some time.
Wouldn't it be quicker to just go down normally? Um, Excellency What? We lost track of him.
Wha? We'll start looking for him again, though.
Will next week be okay? No, of course it won't, you bastard! H-Hey Oh, yeah, they may look scary, but they're no big deal.
These guys are gentle, and not at all- What part of this is gentle?! My air! There's air here.
Hey, don't laugh at me! QT! Transport us! Quick! Okay, okay.
But won't this take that much more time, too? Naturally.
What choice is there?! Not loo shabby, baby.
You didn't hit anything.
Hmph, just like I figured.
It's no use! Hmm, that should be about right.
No choice now but to use my last resort! Oh, you've got such a thing? Listen, there's a doll around there, right? You mean this? That, you see, is a secret weapon that I keep for times like this.
Really? I'm going to push it! Yeah, push it.
Heyo! Okay, now what happens? That is a super-powerful explosive switch powerful enough to blow the entire planet up.
The plan is to blow the ship up, and take everything else with it.
I see.
So then, what are we supposed to do? Oh, yeah.
Well, I guess we have to die.
Yeah, yeah.
That's why that is my last reserve weapon.
I just remembered.
Thank you, Dandy.
No one will ever forget your gallant, appropriate actions.
Probably.
Hey, Everett What am I like in your world? Let me take a peek Hey, Everett According to you, there are lots Of different worlds I'm not sure I understand "Hi, Dandy" "Hello" "How are you doing?" Hey, Ph.
D.
The alternate worlds will always be parallel It's enough to blow my mind Oh, once it cools, it hardens When heated, it melts This world is so full of rules, it's gonna fall apart One dimension, two dimensions, three dimensions A supernova falling from west to east Easy Game, Easy Game, too Easy Game Going is fine, but what about coming home? Oh, the dream of a never-ending dream A melty, milky kiss How far will this world expand? Now then, on the next Space Dandy Huh? I thought it was over.
It's a grand-scale ramen shop tale! But that's small-scale, isn't it? Next time, we search for space ramen shops, baby! "Next time: The Search for the Phantom Space Ramen, Baby" Phantom! See you then!
He is a galaxy-wide alien hunter.
On a journey of adventure to new worlds, he searches for unknown extraterrestrials.
These are the spectacular tales of these alien hunters! These days, I don't know where I've come from I've forgotten the ways Of love 'cause it's been a while For us, life is five minutes' introspection You're real pushy, but when your jewel is taken away, your beauty is touched by sadness Sometimes sending tears flying with a wild sha-la-lu-la Looking at the shooting stars, it's simple We're all human Viva tears, it's okay for them to overflow, baby They're not wasted Can 't stop, I love you like this Tears, tears, that's right Those tears, will you leave them to me? When you fall, get right back up again Let's go together! Tell me "This is the best" again Tears, tears, goodbye! Boobs, boobs-that's what everyone says.
However, if you ask me, those guys are all a bunch of hopeless dumbasses.
Guys who only ever look at boobs just don't know the measure of a fine woman.
More than anything else, the most important thing is Hey, are you listening to me, QT?! Do you know what it is? Hmm is it the heart, or some such? Geez, you don't understand a thing, you mechanical punk.
That's not what I'm talking about! W-What is the measure, then? Oh, you want to know? What it is is "K-E-T-S-U", Yes, "ketsu", and that means "ass", baby.
Guys that don't realize the charm of the hind end are those who are at the kindergarten level.
That's something I want those idiots who only check out breasts to understand.
That's what I'm saying, baby.
Ah What kind of off-the-mark reply is that? I mean, even Agnes Lum has all that attention directed at her boobs, but the fact is Who is that? And for that matter, we're jumping right in! Don't we have any prologue or anything for this? Space Century 0014.
Mankind has advanced to the far reaches of the galaxy.
However, in the vastness of the universe, mankind is nothing more than a speck.
There are countless aliens, such as this, that, and the other, swarming around all over And the rest is so long, I'm omitting it.
Seems like a half-hearted explanation, doesn't it? Kind of a "what's the use?" feeling to it, huh? But then, this is no time lo be talking about this pointless nonsense! We have to get to work, or we won't make any money, and the story won't go anywhere.
What choice is there? Let's go, over there.
Eh? Over where? That's obvious, isn't it? To Boobies! Eh? You mean, that place with the busty waitresses? Yeah.
Why? Oh, for work's sake, of course.
There, you see, is where all sorts of aliens gather together.
It's the only way.
The only way.
"Live With the Flow, Baby" Yay! Hey, Dandy Hmm? You're enjoying yourself like crazy, aren't you? You dumbass.
This is camouflage, you see, camouflage.
While I'm here, pretending to play around like this, you research any rare aliens, okay? Are you sure this is camouflage? Boobies- one of a chain of what are called breastaurants, with locations spread out across the galaxy.
Breastaurants are a place where those with giant breasts- that is ta say, where women with huge boobs work as waitresses.
And since depending on the location, one can meet many different types of women, Dandy considers visiting this chain Of restaurants to be his purpose in life.
His dream is to someday take over all of these restaurants.
Hey, that was more detailed than the previous explanation, wasn't it? Thank you for waiting! Yoo-hoo! Thanks for waiting! I'm Honey! All right! Here's your space parfait and space anmitsu sampler.
Can I get you anything to drink? Gilgamesh tequila.
Sir, what is your name? Dandy.
Space Dandy.
So tell me, tell me, what do you do? Hm-hm, would you like to know? Yes I would! It's a job that begins with a Try to guess it.
Well, okay, let's see Ujimushi! [maggot.]
No, that's not really a job Then, what is it? As it happens, I am a galaxy-wide alien hunter.
Yay! Yay! Oh, Dandy! Hey, why are you reading that book while you're working? Well Don't robots usually have everything about whatever alien it is already input into them, and they can tell this stuff automatically? Those with the latest software can, but I can't update mine.
Oh, I see, I see.
Youâre an old model, so you can't do that.
Ah, sorry about that, sorry about that.
I shouldn't have asked, huh? Maybe it's about time to buy a replacement.
Huh? What is it? Are you actually depressed? Don't be silly! What are you saying?! It's not like robots ever get mental-Ah! What is it? Did you find something? My battery has only 5 percent remaining.
Sheesh! Go to power-saving mode! Dandy, what about that one? The one at the window? Hmm? That one? The other one, the other one.
Hmm? That one? A little more to the left.
This one? Yes, yes, this one.
That one looks like this Betelgeusian, doesn't it? It does? But the area around the cheek is different, isn't it? Hmm? Now that you mention it, maybe.
Well, that's more or less good enough, isn't it? Why, you As soon as you go into power-saving mode, you start talking gibberish.
And now you're going to sleep, to boot?! Hey pal, you got a minute? Huh? Y-Yeah.
I haven't seen you around.
Where are you from? The Tochigi Galaxy, maybe? U-Uh, no, I'm not really secretly recording, or anything What world are you from? Tell me.
Ah! Hey, wait! Whoa! I'm afraid that doesnât cuttlefish it, baby! - I'm sorry! I won't do it again! Forgive me! - There he is! Here! Anyone who orders one of these gets this sticker.
Ow.
Are you? Dr.
Gel, target acquired.
It is him, no doubt about it.
Well done, Bea.
I've finally found you, Dandy.
"Gogol Imperial Space Force" I forgot to mention this earlier, but currently, "Jaicro Imperial Space Force" the forces Of the Gogol Empire and the Jaicro Empire are wing to conquer the universe.
Meanwhile, unrelated to this Oh, yeah? So then, you find aliens that no one has ever seen before, and when you register them, you get money? Yeah, that's about right.
That is, as long as the Alien Registration Center acknowledges them.
I know where aliens like that are.
Eh?! Could it be true? He says it like it's nothing.
Hmm Should we be trusting this guy? Well, why not? Um, excuse me, but could you please lower your voices? So tell me, what is your name? Huh? Sorry, one more time.
Huh?! Did you get that? Not at all.
It's a very common name.
Well, he looks like a cat, so I guess we can call him Meow.
I am not a cat, I am a Betelgeusian.
He was meowing earlier, after all.
I was not! You're certain it was him? No doubt about it.
All right.
Then I'm sending you the Seventh Fleet of the Galactic Farce.
Thank you very much.
Remember, Dr.
Gel.
He is the one that holds the key to the Gogol Empire- no, to the entire universe.
Make sure to catch him, no matter what underhanded means you must use.
You can count on me, Excellency.
It was right around here, most likely.
That's pretty far away.
Or maybe it was here.
That's completely different, isn't it? Where was it? Mm Dandy, what do we do? Whatever works.
Considering it in terms of distance Anything is fine.
Hey, Dandy, please think about this.
Don'! just pretend to listen.
You dumbass! When youâre swimming against a raging current, what's the point? What good is it to swim vainly against the flow? If you try to do it, you just end up drowning.
"Pointless" Everything about it is pointless! Living by going with the flow- that is who I am, baby! It's almost like he said something profound there.
But he hasn't said a thing.
The Seventh Fleet has arrived.
Just you watch.
In the name of the Gogol Empire, I swear, you will not escape! It's pretty far.
Aren't you going to warp, or anything? You dumbass.
Warping consumes gasoline.
- Besides- - So what if it does? Word is that if you warp too much, it makes your hair thinner.
Heyo! What is this thing? The warp device is out of whack.
- I-I'll go bald! - Now, now, now, take it easy.
You dumbass! This is your fault! Target is going to warp! Hmm, they spotted us! Pursuing them to their destination at once! Don't let them escape! I'll chase you to the far side of hell, Dandy! Where are we? Analyzing Wait, I can't read this! Current location unknown.
Then just say that! What is that there? What? It looks like a string, huh? A string, huh? What do you think? Let's try pulling on it.
Eh? Just a moment, please! Are you sure we should? I know! That's a cosmic siring, isn't it? If we touch or pull on them unmindfully, there's a chance it will distort time-space even further, and we might never get back.
Heyo! Ah, hey W-What is this?! That is not warp! He is probably using some unknown energy! He's what? You mean this is the payonium we've heard of?! Hey, now, where is this place? Ah, I seem to remember this world.
I'm sure this is it.
Let's go have a look.
Matter transporter on standby.
Switching on! Um Hmm? Nothing is happening.
It's an old model.
It's going to take some time.
Wouldn't it be quicker to just go down normally? Um, Excellency What? We lost track of him.
Wha? We'll start looking for him again, though.
Will next week be okay? No, of course it won't, you bastard! H-Hey Oh, yeah, they may look scary, but they're no big deal.
These guys are gentle, and not at all- What part of this is gentle?! My air! There's air here.
Hey, don't laugh at me! QT! Transport us! Quick! Okay, okay.
But won't this take that much more time, too? Naturally.
What choice is there?! Not loo shabby, baby.
You didn't hit anything.
Hmph, just like I figured.
It's no use! Hmm, that should be about right.
No choice now but to use my last resort! Oh, you've got such a thing? Listen, there's a doll around there, right? You mean this? That, you see, is a secret weapon that I keep for times like this.
Really? I'm going to push it! Yeah, push it.
Heyo! Okay, now what happens? That is a super-powerful explosive switch powerful enough to blow the entire planet up.
The plan is to blow the ship up, and take everything else with it.
I see.
So then, what are we supposed to do? Oh, yeah.
Well, I guess we have to die.
Yeah, yeah.
That's why that is my last reserve weapon.
I just remembered.
Thank you, Dandy.
No one will ever forget your gallant, appropriate actions.
Probably.
Hey, Everett What am I like in your world? Let me take a peek Hey, Everett According to you, there are lots Of different worlds I'm not sure I understand "Hi, Dandy" "Hello" "How are you doing?" Hey, Ph.
D.
The alternate worlds will always be parallel It's enough to blow my mind Oh, once it cools, it hardens When heated, it melts This world is so full of rules, it's gonna fall apart One dimension, two dimensions, three dimensions A supernova falling from west to east Easy Game, Easy Game, too Easy Game Going is fine, but what about coming home? Oh, the dream of a never-ending dream A melty, milky kiss How far will this world expand? Now then, on the next Space Dandy Huh? I thought it was over.
It's a grand-scale ramen shop tale! But that's small-scale, isn't it? Next time, we search for space ramen shops, baby! "Next time: The Search for the Phantom Space Ramen, Baby" Phantom! See you then!