Space Ghost Coast to Coast (1993) s01e01 Episode Script
Spanish Translation
Hello. I am space ghost.
Welcome to my show.
Joining us on this program
will be motivational
speaker and talk show host, Susan
powter, and comedian Kevin meaney.
Please say hello to the band,
zorak and the original way outs.
Stop! Sorry.
Before we begin, I'd just like
to point out to our viewers
that although it may seem
like the ghost planet
behind me is really close,
it's actually millions
and millions of Miles away.
So don't worry.
We're not going to run
into it or anything.
Moltar! Damage report!
She's breaking up.
She's gonna blow, space ghost!
Danger! Danger!
Got to do something.
Space ghost, you idiot!
D'oh!
You've seen them outwit space ghost
Aah! Change it!
Aah! Aah! This sucks!
Whoa! Ow!
Huh huh, huh huh.
This is cool. Ha ha ha.
Yeah. Heh heh heh.
They're going to die.
Fire! Fire!
Available at Murray's.
Aah!
My first guest is on a mission
to stop the insanity.
Please welcome Susan powter.
Yup. A little bit of
salt would be good.
Hello, Susan. Susan?
Moltar, what's she doing?
She's eating pasta salad.
Perhaps she saw your face and
decided to split, space ghost.
Zorak, just remember who has the
orkin man on their speed dial.
Oh, yeah?
Enough! Susan's back.
Susan, welcome to the show.
I take much pleasure
in knowing you.
Tell us, who are you really?
What's your secret identity?
My secret identity?
Um, well, I may as well tell you here,
sitting here with you, space ghost.
I'm really a transsexual, actually.
I'm not a woman at all.
Really?
The real identity is me.
It's about as much me as you can
get when I'm up on the stage.
So, do you have any super powers
that you use to stop the insanity?
Yeah, female intuition, the most
powerful thing in the universe.
Yeah, right.
You talk about women
taking over the world.
Is this something I'll be forced
to stop in the near future?
Ha ha ha!
Yeah. We're going to take over
the world, so you're going to
have to battle us.
Susan, you have some
food in your teeth.
I do thank you.
That's better.
You were born in Australia.
Have you ever been snatched
away by a pack of wild dingoes?
No. I escaped the bush narrowly.
Narrowly escaped the bush.
I think we have some footage
of you escaping the bush.
Roll that clip, moltar.
People are afraid to
leave their homes.
They cringe behind locked
doors, trembling with fear,
wondering who the deadly
bush will strike next!
Meantime, the hideous creatures
This actually isn't too bad.
Aah!
My, that's frightening.
What do your archenemies
look like, Susan?
What scares you?
Any freeze-dried, yogurty,
malty looking thing.
Anything white and creamy,
freeze-dried-- stay away from it.
Yes, I certainly will.
You must be in awe of my
super-colossal strength.
I'm in awe of any man that
wears wristbands like yours.
Can you see every painful
detail of my muscular physique?
Ha ha ha!
You are a specimen!
In more ways than one.
She said specimen.
Yeah. Heh heh heh.
I don't get it.
Thank you.
Say, I was thinking of coming
out with my own diet plan.
Do you have any advice
for me to follow?
Fly fast and, uh, whatever it
is you eat, make sure it's
high-volume, low-fat.
What do you eat, anyway?
Chemicals, tacos, fajitas,
chimichangas, quesadillas, burritos,
refried beans, flan,
sopapillas, cheese dip,
the speedy with beans, hot tamales
Well, that's what we eat, too.
Hey, it's the same thing.
We're all eating chemicals.
Yes. They help me do my job.
And what do you do?
I fly and save
planets from peril.
Why don't you come on down and
help us here because we're dying!
Will do, citizen.
Thanks for being on the show, Susan,
and good luck stopping the insanity.
Well, good luck saving the
planets, and please help us here
because we really
do need your help.
Ok! Don't go away.
We'll be right back.
All righty!
My next guest is
from Los Angeles.
He is a stand-up comedian.
Please welcome Kevin meaney.
What is wrong with you?
Does my music frighten you?
Yes!
Ha ha ha!
I'm terribly sorry.
Welcome, Kevin.
I trust the particle
transformation was comfy.
Do you have enough oxygen?
Absolutely, space ghost.
I couldn't be more comfortable.
Thank you for asking.
You're welcome.
Tell us, are you keeping busy?
I certainly am.
I travel all throughout the galaxy,
you know, doing my comedy.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Say, Kevin, what would your mother
think of you being on my show?
Oh, my God!
We turned on the tv this
afternoon, and guess who we saw.
Space ghost interviewing Kevin!
It was crazy!
I don't get it.
Are you involved with
the FBI or something?
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Kevin, I have many super powers
and a colossal bulk that
frightens evil villains.
What do you have that
will impress us?
Well, space ghost, I have
an incredible head of hair.
Astonishing.
Hee hee hee!
Oh, my God! Space ghost!
Don't do that!
Ouch.
Already done.
I think you've crossed
the line here.
Yeah, whatever.
Space ghost!
Kevin, I wear a
pantsuit and a cape.
I wear a pantsuit and a cape.
So what do you think
of my tight pants?
Well, let me tell you something, mister
tight-pants-wearing space ghost!
I don't like them one bit!
Walking around the universe with
tight pants on, it's not right!
You're like a crazy person.
What's wrong with you?
What if president Kennedy
finds out about this?
He'll think the school has been
infiltrated by communist spies,
and the monsignor will be
blacklisted, and the pope--
it's been a thrill
having you on.
Come back and see us again.
What do you mean you can't hear?
Aren't you space ghost?
You've seen them outwit space ghost
in horrendous space battles.
Now hear them sing your favorite
nursery rhymes and lullabies.
It's zorak and moltar!
Just listen.
Rock a bye, space ghost
say your prayers
my locust ship is arriving
and I will conquer you
and the universe will
be mine, mine, mine
Ha ha ha!
Like angels!
Never before has such
evil, villainous scum
recorded such a masterpiece--
one the whole family can enjoy.
Here's another favorite.
Twinkle, twinkle, little
star we know
exactly where you
are you can't run,
and you can't
hide because we'll
find you, space ghost
and the universe will
be ours, ours, ours
Ha ha ha!
Yes, just imagine.
You'll be the envy
of all your friends
when you order this collector's
item and play it really loud!
Just send $94 to the
address on your screen.
Order now!
That's right! Only $94!
Available at Murray's.
Hmm. That's expensive.
How could this be?
There are 3 of them!
Moltar, what is it?
It's the blasted bee gees!
What? How can this be?
They say you called
them to be on the show.
Why, I never called-- zorak!
Uh, I must go to the store
to get butter and cheese.
I must go to the store to
get butter and cheese.
Standby, space ghost.
Hello, bee gees.
Are you in good spirits?
It depends on what we've
been eating, space ghost.
It depends on the food.
Ha ha ha!
Come on, space ghost, come on!
Ha ha ha!
This is the bee gees.
Boy, if only we could
really just fry them.
Ha ha ha!
Hey, fellows, I know a great
polynesian restaurant up the street.
I could go for a Poo Poo platter
Welcome to my show.
Joining us on this program
will be motivational
speaker and talk show host, Susan
powter, and comedian Kevin meaney.
Please say hello to the band,
zorak and the original way outs.
Stop! Sorry.
Before we begin, I'd just like
to point out to our viewers
that although it may seem
like the ghost planet
behind me is really close,
it's actually millions
and millions of Miles away.
So don't worry.
We're not going to run
into it or anything.
Moltar! Damage report!
She's breaking up.
She's gonna blow, space ghost!
Danger! Danger!
Got to do something.
Space ghost, you idiot!
D'oh!
You've seen them outwit space ghost
Aah! Change it!
Aah! Aah! This sucks!
Whoa! Ow!
Huh huh, huh huh.
This is cool. Ha ha ha.
Yeah. Heh heh heh.
They're going to die.
Fire! Fire!
Available at Murray's.
Aah!
My first guest is on a mission
to stop the insanity.
Please welcome Susan powter.
Yup. A little bit of
salt would be good.
Hello, Susan. Susan?
Moltar, what's she doing?
She's eating pasta salad.
Perhaps she saw your face and
decided to split, space ghost.
Zorak, just remember who has the
orkin man on their speed dial.
Oh, yeah?
Enough! Susan's back.
Susan, welcome to the show.
I take much pleasure
in knowing you.
Tell us, who are you really?
What's your secret identity?
My secret identity?
Um, well, I may as well tell you here,
sitting here with you, space ghost.
I'm really a transsexual, actually.
I'm not a woman at all.
Really?
The real identity is me.
It's about as much me as you can
get when I'm up on the stage.
So, do you have any super powers
that you use to stop the insanity?
Yeah, female intuition, the most
powerful thing in the universe.
Yeah, right.
You talk about women
taking over the world.
Is this something I'll be forced
to stop in the near future?
Ha ha ha!
Yeah. We're going to take over
the world, so you're going to
have to battle us.
Susan, you have some
food in your teeth.
I do thank you.
That's better.
You were born in Australia.
Have you ever been snatched
away by a pack of wild dingoes?
No. I escaped the bush narrowly.
Narrowly escaped the bush.
I think we have some footage
of you escaping the bush.
Roll that clip, moltar.
People are afraid to
leave their homes.
They cringe behind locked
doors, trembling with fear,
wondering who the deadly
bush will strike next!
Meantime, the hideous creatures
This actually isn't too bad.
Aah!
My, that's frightening.
What do your archenemies
look like, Susan?
What scares you?
Any freeze-dried, yogurty,
malty looking thing.
Anything white and creamy,
freeze-dried-- stay away from it.
Yes, I certainly will.
You must be in awe of my
super-colossal strength.
I'm in awe of any man that
wears wristbands like yours.
Can you see every painful
detail of my muscular physique?
Ha ha ha!
You are a specimen!
In more ways than one.
She said specimen.
Yeah. Heh heh heh.
I don't get it.
Thank you.
Say, I was thinking of coming
out with my own diet plan.
Do you have any advice
for me to follow?
Fly fast and, uh, whatever it
is you eat, make sure it's
high-volume, low-fat.
What do you eat, anyway?
Chemicals, tacos, fajitas,
chimichangas, quesadillas, burritos,
refried beans, flan,
sopapillas, cheese dip,
the speedy with beans, hot tamales
Well, that's what we eat, too.
Hey, it's the same thing.
We're all eating chemicals.
Yes. They help me do my job.
And what do you do?
I fly and save
planets from peril.
Why don't you come on down and
help us here because we're dying!
Will do, citizen.
Thanks for being on the show, Susan,
and good luck stopping the insanity.
Well, good luck saving the
planets, and please help us here
because we really
do need your help.
Ok! Don't go away.
We'll be right back.
All righty!
My next guest is
from Los Angeles.
He is a stand-up comedian.
Please welcome Kevin meaney.
What is wrong with you?
Does my music frighten you?
Yes!
Ha ha ha!
I'm terribly sorry.
Welcome, Kevin.
I trust the particle
transformation was comfy.
Do you have enough oxygen?
Absolutely, space ghost.
I couldn't be more comfortable.
Thank you for asking.
You're welcome.
Tell us, are you keeping busy?
I certainly am.
I travel all throughout the galaxy,
you know, doing my comedy.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Say, Kevin, what would your mother
think of you being on my show?
Oh, my God!
We turned on the tv this
afternoon, and guess who we saw.
Space ghost interviewing Kevin!
It was crazy!
I don't get it.
Are you involved with
the FBI or something?
Mmm-mmm-mmm.
Kevin, I have many super powers
and a colossal bulk that
frightens evil villains.
What do you have that
will impress us?
Well, space ghost, I have
an incredible head of hair.
Astonishing.
Hee hee hee!
Oh, my God! Space ghost!
Don't do that!
Ouch.
Already done.
I think you've crossed
the line here.
Yeah, whatever.
Space ghost!
Kevin, I wear a
pantsuit and a cape.
I wear a pantsuit and a cape.
So what do you think
of my tight pants?
Well, let me tell you something, mister
tight-pants-wearing space ghost!
I don't like them one bit!
Walking around the universe with
tight pants on, it's not right!
You're like a crazy person.
What's wrong with you?
What if president Kennedy
finds out about this?
He'll think the school has been
infiltrated by communist spies,
and the monsignor will be
blacklisted, and the pope--
it's been a thrill
having you on.
Come back and see us again.
What do you mean you can't hear?
Aren't you space ghost?
You've seen them outwit space ghost
in horrendous space battles.
Now hear them sing your favorite
nursery rhymes and lullabies.
It's zorak and moltar!
Just listen.
Rock a bye, space ghost
say your prayers
my locust ship is arriving
and I will conquer you
and the universe will
be mine, mine, mine
Ha ha ha!
Like angels!
Never before has such
evil, villainous scum
recorded such a masterpiece--
one the whole family can enjoy.
Here's another favorite.
Twinkle, twinkle, little
star we know
exactly where you
are you can't run,
and you can't
hide because we'll
find you, space ghost
and the universe will
be ours, ours, ours
Ha ha ha!
Yes, just imagine.
You'll be the envy
of all your friends
when you order this collector's
item and play it really loud!
Just send $94 to the
address on your screen.
Order now!
That's right! Only $94!
Available at Murray's.
Hmm. That's expensive.
How could this be?
There are 3 of them!
Moltar, what is it?
It's the blasted bee gees!
What? How can this be?
They say you called
them to be on the show.
Why, I never called-- zorak!
Uh, I must go to the store
to get butter and cheese.
I must go to the store to
get butter and cheese.
Standby, space ghost.
Hello, bee gees.
Are you in good spirits?
It depends on what we've
been eating, space ghost.
It depends on the food.
Ha ha ha!
Come on, space ghost, come on!
Ha ha ha!
This is the bee gees.
Boy, if only we could
really just fry them.
Ha ha ha!
Hey, fellows, I know a great
polynesian restaurant up the street.
I could go for a Poo Poo platter