Spin City s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
GOOD MORNING.
GOOD MORNING.
HEY.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP.
AS OF ABOUT ONE MINUTE AGO, THE SANITATION WORKERS UNION REJECTED OUR FINAL OFFER.
THEY ARE NOW OFFICIALLY ON STRIKE.
IT'S HAPPENING? LET'S START LOOKING INTO ALTERNATIVE DUMPSITES.
VACANT LOTS, BARGES NEW JERSEY.
THIS STRIKE COULD DRAG ON FOR DAYS, WEEKS, MAYBE EVEN MONTHS.
MIKE, I NEED SOMETHING TO TELL THE PRESS.
THEY'RE KILLING ME.
THE STRIKE'S OVER, PAULY-- FINISHED.
REALLY? OH, YEAH.
(EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE) YOU'RE NOT LYING TO ME, ARE YOU? I WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED IF THIS THING WASN'T SETTLED BY THIS AFTERNOON.
GOD, I LOVE THIS JOB! OK, THAT'S ONLY GOING TO BUY US A COUPLE HOURS, BUT I'M NOT DEBATING THIS THING IN THE PRESS.
IT'S ONLY GOING TO HURT NEGOTIATIONS.
NOW, YOU ALL KNOW THE RULES.
ANYBODY WHO TELLS PAUL THE TRUTH PUTS IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG DAY, PEOPLE.
WE GOT GARBAGE IN THE STREETS.
WE GOT A WEATHER REPORT CALLING FOR TEMPERATURES IN THE MID-90s WITH NO BREEZE.
BY 11:00, THE CITY'S GOING TO SMELL LIKE A GIANT FOOT.
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE HURLING THEMSELVES INTO THE EAST RIVER, AND WE ALL KNOW WHO EVERYBODY'S GOING TO BLAME, DON'T WE? GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.
Several people: MORNING, MR.
MAYOR.
HEY, FLAHERTY, HOW'S OUR CITY? COULDN'T BE BETTER, SIR.
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR.
THE MAYOR IS NOT HAPPY.
SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THAT.
HOW YOU DOING? I'M OK.
LET ME SEE MY OWN SCHEDULE.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE TIME FOR IT.
NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.
YOU GAVE ME 6 NOs.
THERE'S ONLY 5 THINGS ON THE LIST.
THAT LAST NO, THAT'S FOR YOU.
YOU CAN USE THAT HOWEVER YOU WANT.
KAREN.
YES, MR.
FLAHERTY? I NEED YOU TO GET A MR.
SABATINO ON THE PHONE.
HE'S THE HEAD OF THE SANITATION WORKERS UNION, AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO US, SO YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO ME A FAVOR.
YOU KNOW HOW, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU'RE ALWAYS SO CHEERFUL, IT JUST MAKES US ALL WANT TO STAB YOU THROUGH THE HEART? UH-HUH.
THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK ON MR.
SABATINO, SO YOU GOT TO DO ME A FAVOR, ALL RIGHT? YOU GOT TO INTIMIDATE THIS GUY, ALL RIGHT? TAP INTO YOUR DARKER SIDE, THAT ANGRY CORNER OF YOUR SOUL WHERE VIOLENCE REIGNS AND TERROR CRACKS THE WHIP.
OKEYDOKEY.
IT WAS JUST A RUN-OF-THE-MILL ORGASM.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.
COULD YOU HOLD A SECOND, MOM? I WORKED UP SOME NEW NUMBERS FOR YOU, MIKE.
TALK TO ME, NIKKI.
WE'RE NOT THERE YET.
FORGET HEALTH INSURANCE AND PENSION PLANS.
WE CAN'T COME CLOSE TO WHAT THESE SANITATION WORKERS ARE ASKING.
GIVE IT ANOTHER PASS.
ALL RIGHT, BUT I WOULDN'T BE OPTIMISTIC.
OH, I'LL LET YOU GET BACK TO YOUR MOM.
OH.
BEFORE SHE LOSES HER ERECTION.
SO, YES, WE DO HOPE THAT NEW YORKERS WILL CONTINUE TO BAG AND DISPOSE OF THEIR GARBAGE IN THE USUAL MANNER.
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS? ANYBODY HAVE ANY QUESTIONS? ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL? ANYBODY? ANYBODY? YES, ASHLEY? AM I TO UNDERSTAND YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE GARBAGE PICKUP WILL RESUME TOMORROW? YES.
YES.
WITH ALL MY HEART.
THAT'S INTERESTING, BECAUSE I SPOKE TO MR.
SABATINO ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO, AND I ASKED HIM HOW LONG HE THOUGHT THE STRIKE MIGHT LAST, AND HE SAID, AND I QUOTE, "HOW LONG YOU GOT?" IT'S NOT GOOD.
NO.
WHY ARE YOU BEATING UP ON PAUL? GUY'S JUST DOING HIS JOB.
I DON'T BLAME PAUL.
I KNOW WHO HAS HIS HAND INSIDE THE PUPPET.
WHY, THANK YOU.
THAT'S A LOVELY IMAGE.
GOT ANY MORE QUESTIONS? YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GAIN BY THIS? IT'S A STRIKE.
IT'S NOT LIKE PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO NOTICE.
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SAY NO PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE? BECAUSE THE SECOND I DO THAT, YOU'D MAKE IT OUT TO BE THE MAYOR'S FAULT.
SO IT'S NOT THE MAYOR'S FAULT? I'LL JUST WRITE THE STORY: "GARBAGE UNREASONABLE.
REFUSES TO BE TAKEN AWAY.
" WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE? THE CITY OF NEW YORK GENERATES MORE GARBAGE THAN ANY OTHER CITY IN THE WORLD.
WE'RE NUMBER ONE.
THAT'S GREAT! WHEN WE CAME IN, WE WERE NUMBER 3.
WHATEVER.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
OK, THEN.
OK.
SEE YOU TONIGHT? MY PLACE? NO PROBLEM.
THE MAYOR PREPARED TO SPEAK ABOUT THE STRIKE, JAMES? I WORKED ON IT ALL NIGHT.
I HAVE 6 PAGES OF SPONTANEOUS REMARKS.
YOU KNOW, MIKE, IF I WERE DEPUTY MAYOR, THERE NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN A GARBAGE STRIKE.
STUART, I'M SURE THERE ARE 100 REASONS WHY YOU THINK YOU DESERVE MY JOB.
GOOD! YOU READ MY MANIFESTO.
TV: SIR? MR.
MAYOR? ANY COMMENTS ON THE STRIKE, SIR? "I DON'T THINK WE NEED TO BE OVERLY CONCERNED.
" Mayor: I DON'T THINK WE NEED TO BE OVERLY CONCERNED.
"WE ALL WANT THIS SETTLED QUICKLY.
" WE ALL WANT THIS SETTLED QUICKLY.
BESIDES UNION STRIKES END IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS, SO THIS SHOULDN'T DRAG ON.
THANK YOU.
AND THERE'S YOUR SOUND BITE.
ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE GOLDEN.
TV: MR.
MAYOR, WOULD YOU CONSIDER MARCHING IN THE GAY PRIDE PARADE THIS WEEK? Mayor: WHAT ARE YOU--DRUNK? WHAT WAS THAT? I DIDN'T WRITE THAT, MIKE.
OH, GREAT.
THERE GO ALL OUR FREE SHOW TICKETS.
ALL RIGHT.
IT'S OUT THERE.
HE SAID IT.
NOW WHAT? I TELL YOU, IF WE HAVE ONE GAY PERSON ON THE STAFF, THIS WHOLE THING GOES AWAY.
EVERYBODY, STOP.
I NEED A GAY PERSON.
HUH? WHO IN THIS ROOM IS GAY? NOT THAT KIND OF GAY.
AW, COME ON.
YOU TELLING ME NOBODY IS EVEN LEANING THAT WAY? DO THREESOMES COUNT? NOBODY EVEN HAD A GAY FLING? NOBODY HERE WENT TO CAMP? JAMES? WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? Paul: ALL RIGHTY, PEOPLE.
I ASSUME YOU ALL GET TELEVISION.
I'D LIKE TO GET A JUMP-START ON OUR NEW PROBLEM.
PAULY, WE'RE IN GREAT SHAPE.
WE ARE? OH, SURE.
WE'RE AN OPEN ADMINISTRATION.
WE EVEN HAVE PROMINENT GAY PERSONNEL ON OUR STAFF.
WE DO? WHO? JAMES.
OH, YEAH.
(TELEVISION PLAYING) WORKDAY IS OVER.
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.
THAT'S NOT THE MAYOR'S POSITION.
I GOTTA GO.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? OH, I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? WE COULD RENT A MOVIE.
NAH.
I DON'T WANT TO.
WE COULD READ.
NO.
WE COULD PLAY BOGGLE.
THAT'S IT.
I WANT TO PLAY BOGGLE.
(TELEPHONE RINGS) (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) HEY, MIKE, THIS IS PAUL.
WE'RE GETTING BEAT UP ON THIS PARADE THING.
IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA MAYBE TO HAVE JAMES IN THERE IN THE MORNING, ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS.
GET BACK TO ME.
I'LL SEE YOU.
HAVE JAMES THERE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT? OFF THE RECORD? WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A GAY MAN IN THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.
SINCE WHEN IS JAMES GAY? SINCE ABOUT 5:15.
(TELEPHONE RINGS) (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) MIKE, IT'S STUART.
SABATINO TURNED OUR OFFER DOWN.
I'VE ROUNDED EVERYBODY UP.
WE'RE ON OUR WAY OVER.
BE THERE IN 3 MINUTES.
CAN WE DO IT? WELL, I COULD.
I HATE TO SAY THIS, BUT THIS COULD TURN INTO AN ALL-NIGHTER.
OH, GREAT.
THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED.
I GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW.
I GOTTA BE UP AT 6:00.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST CRASH AT YOUR PLACE TONIGHT.
NO.
I CAN'T.
WHY NOT? I DON'T HAVE ONE.
WHAT? MY LEASE--IT RAN OUT A FEW WEEKS AGO, AND I DIDN'T BOTHER RENEWING IT.
OH.
SO, THEN, UH WE LIVE TOGETHER.
WELL YEAH, I GUESS.
I FEEL I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOLD.
WE ALREADY LIVE TOGETHER.
IT'S NOT LIKE I SNUCK INTO YOUR APARTMENT.
I'VE BEEN SLEEPING HERE EVERY NIGHT FOR A YEAR AND A HALF.
AS A GUEST! OH, AS A GUEST? REALLY? LOOK AT THAT PICTURE OVER THERE, MIKE.
OH, MY GOD.
THOSE AREN'T MY PARENTS.
THEY'RE MY PARENTS.
WHO DID YOU THINK THEY WERE? I THOUGHT THEY CAME WITH THE FRAME.
THAT'S MY DRESSER, TOO.
ALL RIGHT.
OK.
WELL, LISTEN, HONEY, A PHOTO AND A DRESSER DOESN'T-- COUCH.
COFFEE TABLE.
TELEVISION.
OK.
THE DOG.
NOT REX.
YOU DO LIVE HERE.
UH-HUH.
WHERE DO I LIVE? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL TO YOU.
WE EAT TOGETHER.
WE SLEEP TOGETHER.
WE VACATION TOGETHER.
MIKE, WE'RE EACH OTHER'S "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE NOTIFY" PERSON.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO NOTIFY YOURSELF.
(CLICK) Mayor, on TV: WHAT ARE YOU--DRUNK? WHAT'S IN THE JOURNAL? "SANITATION STRIKE CRIPPLES CITY.
" WHAT ABOUT THE NEWS? "MAYOR SNUBS GAY COMMUNITY.
" ANYTHING IN THE POST? "FAMILY DOG DRIVES HEART ATTACK VICTIM TO HOSPITAL" "AS MAYOR SNUBS GAY COMMUNITY.
" I LOVE THE POST.
HERE ARE YOUR REMARKS FOR THE DEDICATION, SIR.
UH "PROUD TO BE HERE.
" "PROUD OF A COMMUNITY ON THE RISE.
" MM-HMM.
BASICALLY, YOU'RE JUST-- YOU'RE VERY VERY PROUD.
YOU LOOK TERRIBLE, FLAHERTY.
WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT WORKING ON THIS THING.
ASHLEY FORGET I SAID THAT, OK? I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU.
NO BOTHER.
ROMANTIC PROBLEMS ARE, UH RIGHT UP MY ALLEY.
I DID A LITTLE BIRD-DOGGING IN MY DAY.
LET'S HEAR IT.
ALL RIGHT, UH THE THING IS, ASHLEY FEELS-- YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO? SEND HER TO A SPA.
ALL IS FORGIVEN IN THE 100-DEGREE MUD.
OR IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, YOU NAME A STREET AFTER HER OR A PARK.
THEY LOVE PARKS.
THOSE ARE 3 REALLY GOOD SUGGESTIONS, SIR.
HEY.
HEY.
YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME ALL MORNING.
I, UHI THINK WE NEED TO TALK.
DON'T YOU? EVERYTHING THAT NEEDED TO BE SAID WAS SAID.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
YOU DROPPED A BOMB ON ME LAST NIGHT.
I GOT A FEELING YOU DIDN'T GET THE REACTION YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.
NO, NOT AT ALL.
I FIND HYSTERICAL PARALYSIS VERY REASSURING.
I JUST DON'T SEE WHAT THE BIG PROBLEM IS.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GET YOUR OLD PLACE BACK.
WILL YOU TELL ME WHY MY APARTMENT IS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU? US.
IMPORTANT TO US.
IT'S OUR SAFETY NET.
IT'S A $900-A-MONTH EMPTY ROOM THAT ALLOWS YOU TO DELUDE YOURSELF INTO THINKING THAT YOU HAVEN'T MADE A COMMITMENT.
WELL, IF IT DOES ALL THAT AND IT'S ONLY ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
YOU SAID C-COMMITMENT, AND, UH AND I GOT A LITTLE CRAZY.
OK? I ADMIT THAT, BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, AND YOU'RE RIGHT, SO SO LET'S GO AHEAD.
LET'S DO IT.
WE LIVE TOGETHER.
JUST LIKE THAT.
YEAH.
ISN'T IT GREAT? I DON'T THINK SO, MIKE.
NOW I'M REALLY CONFUSED.
WELL, I'M CONFUSED, TOO.
I MEAN, THIS IS HARD.
YOU KNOW? I THINK WE SHOULD JUST TAKE SOME TIME OFF.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO A SPA? LOOK, I'M SURE WITH WORK, WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME.
YOU KNOW, I THINK WE SHOULD JUST KEEP THE REST OF OUR RELATIONSHIP PLATONIC FOR A WHILE.
OH, I SEE.
OK.
JUST KEEP EXACTLY WHAT WE HAVE NOW, JUST WITHOUT THE SEX.
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO VOTE NO ON THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU, MICHAEL.
I DO.
I LOVE YOU, BUT I ASK FOR AN HONEST REACTION, AND ALL I GET IS A JOKE.
I LOVE YOU, TOO, HONEY.
WE'RE JUST DIFFERENT.
THAT'S ALL.
BUT, YOU KNOW, HEY, HEY, DIFFERENT IS GOOD.
THAT'S WHY IT'S GREAT THAT WE'RE TOGETHER, BECAUSE I THINK WE NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO KEEP PEOPLE LIKE ME IN CHECK, AND I THINK THAT WE NEED PEOPLE LIKE ME TO KEEP PEOPLE LIKE YOU FROM OVERTHINKING THINGS.
AND I THINK THAT-- THAT PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
SEE, WE'RE DIFFERENT.
I WOULD HAVE LAUGHED AT THAT.
MICHAEL, AS PER YOUR REQUEST, I HAVE SCHEDULED A PRESS CONFERENCE THIS AFTERNOON AT 5:00 TO INTRODUCE A KEY MEMBER OF OUR STAFF WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE HOMOSEXUAL.
BUT GUESS WHAT, MIKE? JAMES HERE SAYS THAT HE'S NOT GAY.
IN THE KITTY, JAMES.
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, MIKE.
I CAN'T TAKE IT! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S REAL AND WHAT'S NOT.
I DON'T KNOW DAY FROM NIGHT, GOOD FROM EVIL.
I'M LOST.
I'M LOST.
I'M LOST.
DON'T MELT DOWN ON ME, PAUL.
NOT TODAY, OK? I NEED YOU.
THIS IS A VERY EMOTIONAL TIME.
JAMES BEING GAY SURPRISED ALL OF US.
ESPECIALLY JAMES.
COME ON, PAULY.
FOR ME? ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
IF WE'RE GOING TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS CHARADE OF A PRESS CONFERENCE, WE MAY AS WELL TAKE A COUPLE OF MINUTES, GO OVER QUESTIONS YOU'RE GOING TO GET ASKED.
IS IT GOING TO BE THAT BIG A DEAL? IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S FRONT-PAGE STUFF.
IS IT? YOU MIGHT WANT TO CALL YOUR PARENTS.
JANELLE, I'D LIKE YOU TO GET ASHLEY SCHAEFFER ON THE PHONE FOR ME, PLEASE.
WHAT? THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.
YOU'VE TRIED 23 TIMES.
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE MAKING THE CALLS.
HEY, MIKE.
MIKE, GET OVER HERE.
THIS GUY'S KILLING US.
NO.
THIS WASN'T JUST A SLIGHT TO THE GAY COMMUNITY.
WE CONSIDER IT TO BE SYMPTOMATIC OF A HOSTILE AND REPRESSIVE ADMINISTRATION, AND UNTIL WE SEE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES, WE ARE GOING TO HARASS AND HAUNT THE MAYOR AT EVERY TURN.
WE ARE GOING TO MAKE HIS LIFE MISERABLE OVER THE NEXT 4 YEARS AND MAKE SURE THERE AREN'T WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT? WHAT CAN I SAY? YOU'RE HIRED! I LOVE THIS GUY.
GET HIM A DESK.
MIKE, MIKE UH, LISTEN.
YOU KNOW I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.
I WOULD.
AND SO WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO BE GAY FOR YOU, I GAVE IT A LOT OF THOUGHT, AND, UH LET ME SAY FIRST OFF HOW HONORED I AM THAT YOU CHOSE ME.
JAMES, JAMES RELAX, OK? YOU'RE NOT GAY ANYMORE.
"HOSTILE AND REPRESSIVE.
" THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S A GOOD LINE.
I THOUGHT "BACKWARD AND MEDIEVAL" WAS PRETTY GOOD, TOO.
"MORALLY STUNTED AND MACHIAVELLIAN.
" LOOK, IT'S VERY EASY TO STAND OUTSIDE THROWING ROCKS, BUT PLEASE, DO NOT HAVE THE UNMITIGATED AUDACITY-- TO QUESTION WHAT I BELIEVE IN, OK? I'M OFFERING YOU A CHANCE TO COME IN, SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE, AND MAKE POLICY.
THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME.
IF I ACT NOW, DO I GET A FREE SET OF STEAK KNIVES? THE MAYOR MADE A MISTAKE.
I ADMIT THAT.
BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? DO YOU WANT TO STAY OUT THERE AND BITCH ABOUT A PARADE, OR DO YOU WANT TO COME IN AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE? YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO CONTROL ME.
YOU KNOW THAT.
(DOOR OPENS) HOW WE DOING IN HERE? MR.
MAYOR, PERFECT TIMING AS USUAL.
I THINK WE'RE PRETTY CLOSE TO MAKING A DECISION.
THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME TO BE A PART OF THIS ADMINISTRATION.
I ACCEPT, AND I PROMISE YOU, AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN OFFICE, I'M GOING TO BE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
MIKE, IS THAT GOOD? IT'S GOOD.
SPLENDID! WELCOME ABOARD.
Woman: GOOD NIGHT.
WE'RE MEETING CARTER FOR A BEER TO CELEBRATE.
YOU WANT TO JOIN US? UH, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE MEETING AT HOULIHAN'S, RIGHT? YES.
REALLY? BECAUSE I WENT THERE THE OTHER NIGHT, AND NONE OF YOU GUYS SHOWED.
IMAGINE THAT.
UH, CAN I, UH CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? YEAH.
TALK.
I THOUGHT THAT PART WAS GOING TO TAKE A LOT LONGER, SO I'M NOT REALLY PREPARED--AW, TO HELL WITH IT.
OK, UH HERE GOES.
ARE YOU DONE? BECAUSE THAT WAS VERY MOVING.
WOULD IT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE TO YOU IF I GAVE UP MY OWN APARTMENT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOOD THAT WOULD DO.
NEITHER OF US WOULD HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE.
OK, BECAUSE I SUBLET MY APARTMENT THIS AFTERNOON.
NEEDLESS TO SAY, I WAS HOPING FOR A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ANSWER.
I JUST FIGURED THAT IF WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS FOR REAL WE SHOULD HAVE A FRESH START.
YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, MIKE? MAYBE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ALL THIS MEANT, BUT I DO NOW.
I REALLY REALLY WANT US TO LIVE TOGETHER.
NO NETS? I LIVE FOR DANGER.
(DOOR OPENS) Mayor: MICHAEL? HELLO! WALK OUT WITH ME, WOULD YOU, PLEASE? Mike: OH, JUST ONE THING.
UH PROMISE TO TELL ME IF WE GET MARRIED.
ANYTHING I NEED TO KNOW? I'VE BEEN BACK AND FORTH WITH SABATINO ALL DAY.
I DON'T THINK THE GUY REALIZES WHAT WE'RE OFFERING.
I'LL GIVE HIM ANOTHER CALL.
MIKE, IT'S A STRIKE.
THERE'S NO QUICK FIX HERE.
NOW, JUST LET IT REST.
THE CITY'S NOT GOING TO FALL APART BECAUSE YOU TAKE ONE NIGHT OFF.
I MEAN, IT PROBABLY WILL.
BUT IT WILL ANYWAY.
SO, UHWHERE ARE YOU OFF TO? A FUND-RAISER.
UM OH, YEAH-- JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER, REGO PARK.
WELL, SHALOM, SIR.
L'CHAYIM, MIKE.
Mayor: * HAVAH NAGILAH * GOOD NIGHT, MR.
FLAHERTY.
GOOD NIGHT, SKIPPY.
Man: Sit, Ubu, sit.
Good dog.
[barking.]
Man: Moo.
GOOD MORNING.
HEY.
ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP.
AS OF ABOUT ONE MINUTE AGO, THE SANITATION WORKERS UNION REJECTED OUR FINAL OFFER.
THEY ARE NOW OFFICIALLY ON STRIKE.
IT'S HAPPENING? LET'S START LOOKING INTO ALTERNATIVE DUMPSITES.
VACANT LOTS, BARGES NEW JERSEY.
THIS STRIKE COULD DRAG ON FOR DAYS, WEEKS, MAYBE EVEN MONTHS.
MIKE, I NEED SOMETHING TO TELL THE PRESS.
THEY'RE KILLING ME.
THE STRIKE'S OVER, PAULY-- FINISHED.
REALLY? OH, YEAH.
(EVERYONE SPEAKS AT ONCE) YOU'RE NOT LYING TO ME, ARE YOU? I WOULD BE DISAPPOINTED IF THIS THING WASN'T SETTLED BY THIS AFTERNOON.
GOD, I LOVE THIS JOB! OK, THAT'S ONLY GOING TO BUY US A COUPLE HOURS, BUT I'M NOT DEBATING THIS THING IN THE PRESS.
IT'S ONLY GOING TO HURT NEGOTIATIONS.
NOW, YOU ALL KNOW THE RULES.
ANYBODY WHO TELLS PAUL THE TRUTH PUTS IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG DAY, PEOPLE.
WE GOT GARBAGE IN THE STREETS.
WE GOT A WEATHER REPORT CALLING FOR TEMPERATURES IN THE MID-90s WITH NO BREEZE.
BY 11:00, THE CITY'S GOING TO SMELL LIKE A GIANT FOOT.
PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE HURLING THEMSELVES INTO THE EAST RIVER, AND WE ALL KNOW WHO EVERYBODY'S GOING TO BLAME, DON'T WE? GOOD MORNING, EVERYONE.
Several people: MORNING, MR.
MAYOR.
HEY, FLAHERTY, HOW'S OUR CITY? COULDN'T BE BETTER, SIR.
THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO HEAR.
THE MAYOR IS NOT HAPPY.
SORRY TO HEAR ABOUT THAT.
HOW YOU DOING? I'M OK.
LET ME SEE MY OWN SCHEDULE.
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE TIME FOR IT.
NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.
YOU GAVE ME 6 NOs.
THERE'S ONLY 5 THINGS ON THE LIST.
THAT LAST NO, THAT'S FOR YOU.
YOU CAN USE THAT HOWEVER YOU WANT.
KAREN.
YES, MR.
FLAHERTY? I NEED YOU TO GET A MR.
SABATINO ON THE PHONE.
HE'S THE HEAD OF THE SANITATION WORKERS UNION, AND HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO US, SO YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO DO ME A FAVOR.
YOU KNOW HOW, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, YOU'RE ALWAYS SO CHEERFUL, IT JUST MAKES US ALL WANT TO STAB YOU THROUGH THE HEART? UH-HUH.
THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK ON MR.
SABATINO, SO YOU GOT TO DO ME A FAVOR, ALL RIGHT? YOU GOT TO INTIMIDATE THIS GUY, ALL RIGHT? TAP INTO YOUR DARKER SIDE, THAT ANGRY CORNER OF YOUR SOUL WHERE VIOLENCE REIGNS AND TERROR CRACKS THE WHIP.
OKEYDOKEY.
IT WAS JUST A RUN-OF-THE-MILL ORGASM.
I DIDN'T MEAN TO SCARE YOU.
COULD YOU HOLD A SECOND, MOM? I WORKED UP SOME NEW NUMBERS FOR YOU, MIKE.
TALK TO ME, NIKKI.
WE'RE NOT THERE YET.
FORGET HEALTH INSURANCE AND PENSION PLANS.
WE CAN'T COME CLOSE TO WHAT THESE SANITATION WORKERS ARE ASKING.
GIVE IT ANOTHER PASS.
ALL RIGHT, BUT I WOULDN'T BE OPTIMISTIC.
OH, I'LL LET YOU GET BACK TO YOUR MOM.
OH.
BEFORE SHE LOSES HER ERECTION.
SO, YES, WE DO HOPE THAT NEW YORKERS WILL CONTINUE TO BAG AND DISPOSE OF THEIR GARBAGE IN THE USUAL MANNER.
ANY OTHER QUESTIONS? ANYBODY HAVE ANY QUESTIONS? ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL? ANYBODY? ANYBODY? YES, ASHLEY? AM I TO UNDERSTAND YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE GARBAGE PICKUP WILL RESUME TOMORROW? YES.
YES.
WITH ALL MY HEART.
THAT'S INTERESTING, BECAUSE I SPOKE TO MR.
SABATINO ABOUT 15 MINUTES AGO, AND I ASKED HIM HOW LONG HE THOUGHT THE STRIKE MIGHT LAST, AND HE SAID, AND I QUOTE, "HOW LONG YOU GOT?" IT'S NOT GOOD.
NO.
WHY ARE YOU BEATING UP ON PAUL? GUY'S JUST DOING HIS JOB.
I DON'T BLAME PAUL.
I KNOW WHO HAS HIS HAND INSIDE THE PUPPET.
WHY, THANK YOU.
THAT'S A LOVELY IMAGE.
GOT ANY MORE QUESTIONS? YEAH.
WHAT DO YOU HOPE TO GAIN BY THIS? IT'S A STRIKE.
IT'S NOT LIKE PEOPLE AREN'T GOING TO NOTICE.
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SAY NO PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE? BECAUSE THE SECOND I DO THAT, YOU'D MAKE IT OUT TO BE THE MAYOR'S FAULT.
SO IT'S NOT THE MAYOR'S FAULT? I'LL JUST WRITE THE STORY: "GARBAGE UNREASONABLE.
REFUSES TO BE TAKEN AWAY.
" WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ALWAYS FOCUS ON THE NEGATIVE? THE CITY OF NEW YORK GENERATES MORE GARBAGE THAN ANY OTHER CITY IN THE WORLD.
WE'RE NUMBER ONE.
THAT'S GREAT! WHEN WE CAME IN, WE WERE NUMBER 3.
WHATEVER.
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO HAS TO SLEEP AT NIGHT.
THAT'S RIGHT.
OK, THEN.
OK.
SEE YOU TONIGHT? MY PLACE? NO PROBLEM.
THE MAYOR PREPARED TO SPEAK ABOUT THE STRIKE, JAMES? I WORKED ON IT ALL NIGHT.
I HAVE 6 PAGES OF SPONTANEOUS REMARKS.
YOU KNOW, MIKE, IF I WERE DEPUTY MAYOR, THERE NEVER WOULD HAVE BEEN A GARBAGE STRIKE.
STUART, I'M SURE THERE ARE 100 REASONS WHY YOU THINK YOU DESERVE MY JOB.
GOOD! YOU READ MY MANIFESTO.
TV: SIR? MR.
MAYOR? ANY COMMENTS ON THE STRIKE, SIR? "I DON'T THINK WE NEED TO BE OVERLY CONCERNED.
" Mayor: I DON'T THINK WE NEED TO BE OVERLY CONCERNED.
"WE ALL WANT THIS SETTLED QUICKLY.
" WE ALL WANT THIS SETTLED QUICKLY.
BESIDES UNION STRIKES END IN LESS THAN 48 HOURS, SO THIS SHOULDN'T DRAG ON.
THANK YOU.
AND THERE'S YOUR SOUND BITE.
ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE GOLDEN.
TV: MR.
MAYOR, WOULD YOU CONSIDER MARCHING IN THE GAY PRIDE PARADE THIS WEEK? Mayor: WHAT ARE YOU--DRUNK? WHAT WAS THAT? I DIDN'T WRITE THAT, MIKE.
OH, GREAT.
THERE GO ALL OUR FREE SHOW TICKETS.
ALL RIGHT.
IT'S OUT THERE.
HE SAID IT.
NOW WHAT? I TELL YOU, IF WE HAVE ONE GAY PERSON ON THE STAFF, THIS WHOLE THING GOES AWAY.
EVERYBODY, STOP.
I NEED A GAY PERSON.
HUH? WHO IN THIS ROOM IS GAY? NOT THAT KIND OF GAY.
AW, COME ON.
YOU TELLING ME NOBODY IS EVEN LEANING THAT WAY? DO THREESOMES COUNT? NOBODY EVEN HAD A GAY FLING? NOBODY HERE WENT TO CAMP? JAMES? WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME? Paul: ALL RIGHTY, PEOPLE.
I ASSUME YOU ALL GET TELEVISION.
I'D LIKE TO GET A JUMP-START ON OUR NEW PROBLEM.
PAULY, WE'RE IN GREAT SHAPE.
WE ARE? OH, SURE.
WE'RE AN OPEN ADMINISTRATION.
WE EVEN HAVE PROMINENT GAY PERSONNEL ON OUR STAFF.
WE DO? WHO? JAMES.
OH, YEAH.
(TELEVISION PLAYING) WORKDAY IS OVER.
YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME.
THAT'S NOT THE MAYOR'S POSITION.
I GOTTA GO.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? OH, I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? WE COULD RENT A MOVIE.
NAH.
I DON'T WANT TO.
WE COULD READ.
NO.
WE COULD PLAY BOGGLE.
THAT'S IT.
I WANT TO PLAY BOGGLE.
(TELEPHONE RINGS) (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) HEY, MIKE, THIS IS PAUL.
WE'RE GETTING BEAT UP ON THIS PARADE THING.
IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA MAYBE TO HAVE JAMES IN THERE IN THE MORNING, ANSWER SOME QUESTIONS.
GET BACK TO ME.
I'LL SEE YOU.
HAVE JAMES THERE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT? OFF THE RECORD? WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A GAY MAN IN THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.
SINCE WHEN IS JAMES GAY? SINCE ABOUT 5:15.
(TELEPHONE RINGS) (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) MIKE, IT'S STUART.
SABATINO TURNED OUR OFFER DOWN.
I'VE ROUNDED EVERYBODY UP.
WE'RE ON OUR WAY OVER.
BE THERE IN 3 MINUTES.
CAN WE DO IT? WELL, I COULD.
I HATE TO SAY THIS, BUT THIS COULD TURN INTO AN ALL-NIGHTER.
OH, GREAT.
THAT'S JUST WHAT I NEED.
I GOT A BIG DAY TOMORROW.
I GOTTA BE UP AT 6:00.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST CRASH AT YOUR PLACE TONIGHT.
NO.
I CAN'T.
WHY NOT? I DON'T HAVE ONE.
WHAT? MY LEASE--IT RAN OUT A FEW WEEKS AGO, AND I DIDN'T BOTHER RENEWING IT.
OH.
SO, THEN, UH WE LIVE TOGETHER.
WELL YEAH, I GUESS.
I FEEL I SHOULD HAVE BEEN TOLD.
WE ALREADY LIVE TOGETHER.
IT'S NOT LIKE I SNUCK INTO YOUR APARTMENT.
I'VE BEEN SLEEPING HERE EVERY NIGHT FOR A YEAR AND A HALF.
AS A GUEST! OH, AS A GUEST? REALLY? LOOK AT THAT PICTURE OVER THERE, MIKE.
OH, MY GOD.
THOSE AREN'T MY PARENTS.
THEY'RE MY PARENTS.
WHO DID YOU THINK THEY WERE? I THOUGHT THEY CAME WITH THE FRAME.
THAT'S MY DRESSER, TOO.
ALL RIGHT.
OK.
WELL, LISTEN, HONEY, A PHOTO AND A DRESSER DOESN'T-- COUCH.
COFFEE TABLE.
TELEVISION.
OK.
THE DOG.
NOT REX.
YOU DO LIVE HERE.
UH-HUH.
WHERE DO I LIVE? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS SUCH A BIG DEAL TO YOU.
WE EAT TOGETHER.
WE SLEEP TOGETHER.
WE VACATION TOGETHER.
MIKE, WE'RE EACH OTHER'S "IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, PLEASE NOTIFY" PERSON.
I CAN'T BREATHE.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO NOTIFY YOURSELF.
(CLICK) Mayor, on TV: WHAT ARE YOU--DRUNK? WHAT'S IN THE JOURNAL? "SANITATION STRIKE CRIPPLES CITY.
" WHAT ABOUT THE NEWS? "MAYOR SNUBS GAY COMMUNITY.
" ANYTHING IN THE POST? "FAMILY DOG DRIVES HEART ATTACK VICTIM TO HOSPITAL" "AS MAYOR SNUBS GAY COMMUNITY.
" I LOVE THE POST.
HERE ARE YOUR REMARKS FOR THE DEDICATION, SIR.
UH "PROUD TO BE HERE.
" "PROUD OF A COMMUNITY ON THE RISE.
" MM-HMM.
BASICALLY, YOU'RE JUST-- YOU'RE VERY VERY PROUD.
YOU LOOK TERRIBLE, FLAHERTY.
WE WERE UP ALL NIGHT WORKING ON THIS THING.
ASHLEY FORGET I SAID THAT, OK? I DON'T WANT TO BOTHER YOU.
NO BOTHER.
ROMANTIC PROBLEMS ARE, UH RIGHT UP MY ALLEY.
I DID A LITTLE BIRD-DOGGING IN MY DAY.
LET'S HEAR IT.
ALL RIGHT, UH THE THING IS, ASHLEY FEELS-- YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO? SEND HER TO A SPA.
ALL IS FORGIVEN IN THE 100-DEGREE MUD.
OR IF THAT DOESN'T WORK, YOU NAME A STREET AFTER HER OR A PARK.
THEY LOVE PARKS.
THOSE ARE 3 REALLY GOOD SUGGESTIONS, SIR.
HEY.
HEY.
YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME ALL MORNING.
I, UHI THINK WE NEED TO TALK.
DON'T YOU? EVERYTHING THAT NEEDED TO BE SAID WAS SAID.
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
YOU DROPPED A BOMB ON ME LAST NIGHT.
I GOT A FEELING YOU DIDN'T GET THE REACTION YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.
NO, NOT AT ALL.
I FIND HYSTERICAL PARALYSIS VERY REASSURING.
I JUST DON'T SEE WHAT THE BIG PROBLEM IS.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS GET YOUR OLD PLACE BACK.
WILL YOU TELL ME WHY MY APARTMENT IS SO IMPORTANT TO YOU? US.
IMPORTANT TO US.
IT'S OUR SAFETY NET.
IT'S A $900-A-MONTH EMPTY ROOM THAT ALLOWS YOU TO DELUDE YOURSELF INTO THINKING THAT YOU HAVEN'T MADE A COMMITMENT.
WELL, IF IT DOES ALL THAT AND IT'S ONLY ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
YOU SAID C-COMMITMENT, AND, UH AND I GOT A LITTLE CRAZY.
OK? I ADMIT THAT, BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING, AND YOU'RE RIGHT, SO SO LET'S GO AHEAD.
LET'S DO IT.
WE LIVE TOGETHER.
JUST LIKE THAT.
YEAH.
ISN'T IT GREAT? I DON'T THINK SO, MIKE.
NOW I'M REALLY CONFUSED.
WELL, I'M CONFUSED, TOO.
I MEAN, THIS IS HARD.
YOU KNOW? I THINK WE SHOULD JUST TAKE SOME TIME OFF.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO A SPA? LOOK, I'M SURE WITH WORK, WE'LL SEE EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME.
YOU KNOW, I THINK WE SHOULD JUST KEEP THE REST OF OUR RELATIONSHIP PLATONIC FOR A WHILE.
OH, I SEE.
OK.
JUST KEEP EXACTLY WHAT WE HAVE NOW, JUST WITHOUT THE SEX.
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO VOTE NO ON THAT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU, MICHAEL.
I DO.
I LOVE YOU, BUT I ASK FOR AN HONEST REACTION, AND ALL I GET IS A JOKE.
I LOVE YOU, TOO, HONEY.
WE'RE JUST DIFFERENT.
THAT'S ALL.
BUT, YOU KNOW, HEY, HEY, DIFFERENT IS GOOD.
THAT'S WHY IT'S GREAT THAT WE'RE TOGETHER, BECAUSE I THINK WE NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU TO KEEP PEOPLE LIKE ME IN CHECK, AND I THINK THAT WE NEED PEOPLE LIKE ME TO KEEP PEOPLE LIKE YOU FROM OVERTHINKING THINGS.
AND I THINK THAT-- THAT PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.
SEE, WE'RE DIFFERENT.
I WOULD HAVE LAUGHED AT THAT.
MICHAEL, AS PER YOUR REQUEST, I HAVE SCHEDULED A PRESS CONFERENCE THIS AFTERNOON AT 5:00 TO INTRODUCE A KEY MEMBER OF OUR STAFF WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE HOMOSEXUAL.
BUT GUESS WHAT, MIKE? JAMES HERE SAYS THAT HE'S NOT GAY.
IN THE KITTY, JAMES.
I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE, MIKE.
I CAN'T TAKE IT! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S REAL AND WHAT'S NOT.
I DON'T KNOW DAY FROM NIGHT, GOOD FROM EVIL.
I'M LOST.
I'M LOST.
I'M LOST.
DON'T MELT DOWN ON ME, PAUL.
NOT TODAY, OK? I NEED YOU.
THIS IS A VERY EMOTIONAL TIME.
JAMES BEING GAY SURPRISED ALL OF US.
ESPECIALLY JAMES.
COME ON, PAULY.
FOR ME? ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, LOOK.
IF WE'RE GOING TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS CHARADE OF A PRESS CONFERENCE, WE MAY AS WELL TAKE A COUPLE OF MINUTES, GO OVER QUESTIONS YOU'RE GOING TO GET ASKED.
IS IT GOING TO BE THAT BIG A DEAL? IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S FRONT-PAGE STUFF.
IS IT? YOU MIGHT WANT TO CALL YOUR PARENTS.
JANELLE, I'D LIKE YOU TO GET ASHLEY SCHAEFFER ON THE PHONE FOR ME, PLEASE.
WHAT? THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS.
YOU'VE TRIED 23 TIMES.
I DON'T CARE.
I DON'T FEEL LIKE AN IDIOT.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE MAKING THE CALLS.
HEY, MIKE.
MIKE, GET OVER HERE.
THIS GUY'S KILLING US.
NO.
THIS WASN'T JUST A SLIGHT TO THE GAY COMMUNITY.
WE CONSIDER IT TO BE SYMPTOMATIC OF A HOSTILE AND REPRESSIVE ADMINISTRATION, AND UNTIL WE SEE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES, WE ARE GOING TO HARASS AND HAUNT THE MAYOR AT EVERY TURN.
WE ARE GOING TO MAKE HIS LIFE MISERABLE OVER THE NEXT 4 YEARS AND MAKE SURE THERE AREN'T WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT? WHAT CAN I SAY? YOU'RE HIRED! I LOVE THIS GUY.
GET HIM A DESK.
MIKE, MIKE UH, LISTEN.
YOU KNOW I'D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU.
I WOULD.
AND SO WHEN YOU ASKED ME TO BE GAY FOR YOU, I GAVE IT A LOT OF THOUGHT, AND, UH LET ME SAY FIRST OFF HOW HONORED I AM THAT YOU CHOSE ME.
JAMES, JAMES RELAX, OK? YOU'RE NOT GAY ANYMORE.
"HOSTILE AND REPRESSIVE.
" THAT'S GOOD.
THAT'S A GOOD LINE.
I THOUGHT "BACKWARD AND MEDIEVAL" WAS PRETTY GOOD, TOO.
"MORALLY STUNTED AND MACHIAVELLIAN.
" LOOK, IT'S VERY EASY TO STAND OUTSIDE THROWING ROCKS, BUT PLEASE, DO NOT HAVE THE UNMITIGATED AUDACITY-- TO QUESTION WHAT I BELIEVE IN, OK? I'M OFFERING YOU A CHANCE TO COME IN, SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE, AND MAKE POLICY.
THIS IS THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME.
IF I ACT NOW, DO I GET A FREE SET OF STEAK KNIVES? THE MAYOR MADE A MISTAKE.
I ADMIT THAT.
BUT WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? DO YOU WANT TO STAY OUT THERE AND BITCH ABOUT A PARADE, OR DO YOU WANT TO COME IN AND MAKE A DIFFERENCE? YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO CONTROL ME.
YOU KNOW THAT.
(DOOR OPENS) HOW WE DOING IN HERE? MR.
MAYOR, PERFECT TIMING AS USUAL.
I THINK WE'RE PRETTY CLOSE TO MAKING A DECISION.
THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME TO BE A PART OF THIS ADMINISTRATION.
I ACCEPT, AND I PROMISE YOU, AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN OFFICE, I'M GOING TO BE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE.
MIKE, IS THAT GOOD? IT'S GOOD.
SPLENDID! WELCOME ABOARD.
Woman: GOOD NIGHT.
WE'RE MEETING CARTER FOR A BEER TO CELEBRATE.
YOU WANT TO JOIN US? UH, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE MEETING AT HOULIHAN'S, RIGHT? YES.
REALLY? BECAUSE I WENT THERE THE OTHER NIGHT, AND NONE OF YOU GUYS SHOWED.
IMAGINE THAT.
UH, CAN I, UH CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? YEAH.
TALK.
I THOUGHT THAT PART WAS GOING TO TAKE A LOT LONGER, SO I'M NOT REALLY PREPARED--AW, TO HELL WITH IT.
OK, UH HERE GOES.
ARE YOU DONE? BECAUSE THAT WAS VERY MOVING.
WOULD IT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE TO YOU IF I GAVE UP MY OWN APARTMENT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOOD THAT WOULD DO.
NEITHER OF US WOULD HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE.
OK, BECAUSE I SUBLET MY APARTMENT THIS AFTERNOON.
NEEDLESS TO SAY, I WAS HOPING FOR A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ANSWER.
I JUST FIGURED THAT IF WE'RE GOING TO DO THIS FOR REAL WE SHOULD HAVE A FRESH START.
YOU SURE ABOUT THIS, MIKE? MAYBE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ALL THIS MEANT, BUT I DO NOW.
I REALLY REALLY WANT US TO LIVE TOGETHER.
NO NETS? I LIVE FOR DANGER.
(DOOR OPENS) Mayor: MICHAEL? HELLO! WALK OUT WITH ME, WOULD YOU, PLEASE? Mike: OH, JUST ONE THING.
UH PROMISE TO TELL ME IF WE GET MARRIED.
ANYTHING I NEED TO KNOW? I'VE BEEN BACK AND FORTH WITH SABATINO ALL DAY.
I DON'T THINK THE GUY REALIZES WHAT WE'RE OFFERING.
I'LL GIVE HIM ANOTHER CALL.
MIKE, IT'S A STRIKE.
THERE'S NO QUICK FIX HERE.
NOW, JUST LET IT REST.
THE CITY'S NOT GOING TO FALL APART BECAUSE YOU TAKE ONE NIGHT OFF.
I MEAN, IT PROBABLY WILL.
BUT IT WILL ANYWAY.
SO, UHWHERE ARE YOU OFF TO? A FUND-RAISER.
UM OH, YEAH-- JEWISH COMMUNITY CENTER, REGO PARK.
WELL, SHALOM, SIR.
L'CHAYIM, MIKE.
Mayor: * HAVAH NAGILAH * GOOD NIGHT, MR.
FLAHERTY.
GOOD NIGHT, SKIPPY.
Man: Sit, Ubu, sit.
Good dog.
[barking.]
Man: Moo.