Sports Night (1998) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
Studio "A, "|this is master control.
You're up on router 7.
|Have a good show.
Will, show me Denver.
|And I need 15 points|of sound on Kansas City.
Denver's up.
|-Yes, it is.
|Give me Green Bay.
Stand by, Audio.
|Stand by, VTR.
-Georgia Dome's hot.
|-You're hot, Atlanta.
Somebody, Arrowhead,|then back to Mile High --|is that how it goes? We're live here|in 60 seconds.
Somebody? Anybody? What do you need? -Does Arrowhead --|-Arrowhead bounces|to Mile High.
Thank you.
Why'd you change that? Just to mess with your head.
|Get me Judy at Oakland-Alameda.
When you get right down to it,|what I'm saying is this, Case -- I think you should start getting|out of your house.
-Dan, we're going|to Arrowhead first, then Denver.
|-Got it.
Just out of your house.
I am out of my house.
I've been out of my house|for six months.
I don't live at my house.
We're coming to the studio|in 90 seconds.
Good evening.
-Isaac Jaffee's|in the house, Natalie.
|-Yo.
We can make a feed on 43.
Just make sure|the guys have the change.
Casey, did you get the change|on Arrowhead and Denver?!.
Natalie, if you shout|into a microphone when I'm wearing an earpiece,|it poses the question "Is there a decibel level at|which the human head will just, you know, explode?" Is he in a better mood|than he was this morning, or is this gonna be|another crappy show? Hey, Casey,|Isaac wants to know|if you're in a better mood -- Shut up.
Pretty crappy, yeah.
-Roll tape.
|-Good show, everybody.
Tonight on "Sports Night, "|we'll show you what comes up Dan, Casey, we're on you|in 60 seconds.
Uh, excuse me.
Dan's got his hand raised.
Why are we quoting|high-level sources inside the Swiss|Olympic Committee on Helsinki's bid|for the 2010 Olympics? -What's the problem?|-Helsinki's in Finland.
Really? Yeah.
|Don't worry.
I got it.
Are you sure? Am I sure that Helsinki's|in Finland? Yeah.
I'm quite sure.
I thought it was in Sweden.
It says "unnamed Swiss|Olympic officials.
" Graphics! Which is it,|Sweden or Switzerland? It's in Finland.
-Elliott, get something up|on the Net!|-What do you need? We think Helsinki might be|in Finland.
Yeah, we think|there's a pretty good chance.
Coming in live in 15.
We'll change it|on the teleprompter.
Cool.
We can go out|after the show.
You can stay at my place.
|Whatever you need.
|Whatever you need.
I'm getting a divorce.
|I don't need a cruise director.
Right.
My foul.
Forget I said anything.
In 54 Good evening, everybody.
From New York City,|I'm Dan Rydell alongside|Casey McCall.
Those stories and more,|plus we'll take you live|to the locker room at Arrowhead.
All that coming up after this.
You're watching "Sports Night"|on CSC, so stick around.
We're out.
Up in 60.
Yeah.
Finland.
The national bird is|the whooping swan.
-Thank you.
|-Thank you.
Columbia, 34, Colgate, 3.
|Who owes me money? Thank you.
Oh! Hey, Jason Grisham|got arrested in a strip bar|in Houston last night.
That was|only a matter of time.
Kim and Elliott are on it.
Kim, Elliott.
|Jason Grisham -- what's up? He shot 12-for-15|from the field, and then he went|to the Silver Key.
-It's a nude nightclub.
|-Topless only.
A guy called him something he|didn't like, and Grisham hit him|with a bottle of cognac.
-It was brandy.
|-It was cognac.
It was Courvoisier.
Courvoisier is cognac.
You get me the lawyer,|you get me the agent, then get|us Jason Grisham on the phone.
-We can't get Grisham|on the phone.
|-Yes, you can.
-We are trying.
|-Try harder.
Then he sends a guy to|the hospital with 14 stitches.
-Can you imagine|if he'd had a lousy game? You come in early? I came in early.
You slept in the office? -I came in early.
|-You came in yesterday.
Mom Have I told you about|my New York renaissance? Yeah.
A lot.
|You've told me about your|New York renaissance a lot.
Last night's show.
|What's up? Grisham's free on bail,|Casey slept in his office, and I'm having|a New York renaissance.
Cool.
Rundown meeting's|in five minutes.
I think the show's going to hell|in a handbasket, and I'm ready to fire|the whole bunch of you.
Yes, but you won't|'cause we're all family here, and I'm just like|a daughter to you.
No, this is|a television show here, and you're very much like|an employee to me.
I got to give Casey|some slack, Isaac.
-Why?|-Why do I have to give him|some slack? That's the question.
|If you can't tell me,|I can't tell the network.
-Isaac|-What, is there something|going on between the two of you? -Absolutely not.
|-Then why? Because I owe it to him,|that's why.
We all do.
Now he's having|some personal problems -- Oh, I know all about|his problems.
You know, the network|knows about his problems, too, as a result of which,|they become my problems.
And I'm saying|that at the very most,|I want them to be your problems.
-Got it.
|-Do you? -Yes.
|-Good.
It's a genuine renaissance,|Casey.
I have lived in New York|my whole life.
This is the time|I should be sick of it,|but I'm not.
-'Cause you're having|a renaissance.
|-That's right.
-Really?|-Yeah.
Nobody cares.
So how do we avoid|these Helsinki mishaps|in the future? -We've been short-handed|since Phil and Michael left.
|-Well, hire somebody.
Natalie's been interviewing|people for an associate|producer position, and I'm meeting her finalists|this afternoon.
You guys, he is so|totally cute and intense with a dark mystery|about him that says, "This is not a technician,|this is an artist.
" Well, before you hire him,|can you make sure he can find|Finland on a map? You know what, Isaac?|Maybe let that go.
You have Metropolitan Opera|under the baton of|Mr.
James Levine.
-What is he talking about?|-His New York renaissance.
-Want to hear about it?|-No.
Good.
|Quickly, now -- talk to me.
Lambeau, 3Com, and Foxboro.
Casey's got Tampa Bay|and the mighty Bengals|of Cincinnati.
-What's in Cincinnati?|-Well, the mighty Bengals,|for one thing.
-They're gonna cut Santori.
|-The placekicker? He's made eight field-goal|attempts in three games and has connected on a grand|total of none of them.
-Oh, I've met him.
|He's a good guy.
|-Can't kick.
-He is a good guy.
|-Can't kick.
-He'll get picked up|by another team.
|-No, he won't.
You know why? -Why?|-'Cause he can't kick.
All right, commercial one,|then on to The Dugout Report -- I saw him kick in practice.
At this level, they pretty much|want you to be able to kick|in a game.
Moving on,|from center ice -- I once kicked a 12-yard|field goal in a gym class.
Well, then you should get|yourself a tryout for the|mighty Bengals of Cincinnati.
Excuse me.
If anyone|needs me, I'll be hurling|myself out the window.
Plaza hotel, Oak Bar,|dry martini.
New York at night, my friend.
|This city never sleeps.
Commercial 2,|then on to segment 24.
Actually, I'd like to go back|to 23 if nobody minds.
Any chance we could do it|a little later? -I want to move this along.
|-The network would like me to|address this now.
J.
J.
, Dana's the producer.
|We like to give her the|impression she's in charge.
It's just that we're|a little short on time.
-Segment 24 --|-I have some concerns|about segment 23.
Is this you or the network? In these meetings, Casey, mine|is the voice of the network.
Wow, J.
J.
! What are your concerns? Who is Ntozake Nelson, and why are you doing a|3-minute-and-20-second feature|on him? Natalie! Ntozake Nelson's|a South African distance|runner -- 15,000 meters.
As a schoolteacher in Jamestown,|he led protests against|the white majority.
That's swell,|but, folks, I have -- -No, I --|-Hey! He was beaten up|and thrown in jail.
His legs were broken,|and the doctor said he'd|never walk without a cane.
He's 41 years old,|and guess what he's doing|tonight.
It doesn't matter, 'cause I've|already changed the channel.
He's running|in the World Pacific Games, an event this network is|carrying live tonight at 9:00.
The Ntozake Nelson feature|is promoting -- Look, I am all for|you guys spotlighting|our other programming.
But can't we find|a good-looking 22-year-old|American who might actually win? Well, if you find him,|send him over to my place,|but in the meantime -- Look, I have|a ratings book on my desk|that's very instructive.
Now, it says|that our key demographics,|including 11- to 17-year-olds who watch your|morning rerun over breakfast,|do not want to see features about 41-year-old,|politically oppressed|Third World distance runners.
Now, they are instructing us,|and I think it's a good idea|to listen.
I've got Jason Grisham|on the phone.
J.
J.
, Danny and I have|hosted shows in the fifth- and|third-largest markets|in the country, and we've received awards|for journalistic excellence.
I'd prefer|not to take my instructions|from 11-year-olds.
And the next time you sit|in our rundown meeting and I hear the voice|of the network come out|of your mouth, I'm gonna put my foot|on your throat.
You ever ride|the subway all day long, I mean,|just for the fun of it? Natalie, Kim, Elliott,|everybody else, um, you want to step outside|as well, please? Go ahead.
I'd like to apologize|for Casey's performance|in these meetings lately.
Dana, I'm not concerned|with Casey's performance|in these meetings lately.
Well, I appreciate|your understanding.
I'm concerned with Casey's|performance on the air lately.
-What's your point?|-My point is at the moment, Casey has|less on-air charm and charisma than my high school|driving instructor,|and you know it, Dan.
Now, I think|the time has come for you to think about the|possibility of another partner.
I'm not gonna do the show|with your high school|driving instructor, J.
J.
, if that's what you're|asking me, okay, so Who will you do|the show with? I'll do the show with Casey.
You've got a very big future|at this network, Dan -- My future is writing|and anchoring a sports program|with my partner, Casey McCall.
Now, if it's here, it's here.
|If it's not, it is|someplace else.
For right now I'm gonna forget|this conversation|ever took place.
Dana, Isaac,|you guys need me? No.
Thanks, Dan.
|You're done.
I really got to admire the way you manhandled|my staff this morning, J.
J.
Look, Isaac,|I have a specific -- Look don't take me on.
The network's not gonna|wait forever.
It's your call, Dana.
But pretty soon,|it's gonna be my call.
'Cause here's the thing -- I can't let it be|their call.
Yeah.
They can put a Tonka truck|on Mars and send me pictures, but I can't get|a decent satellite signal|from Buenos Aires.
Excuse me.
Ma'am? That's probably because of|a high-pressure system building up around 32 degrees|south latitude.
It'll blow by in two hours.
-There's weather|in outer space?|-Uh, no, ma'am.
But I think you're leasing time|on the East Tech keyhole|satellite, and their signal gets cleared|through a tracking station|in Mexico City.
Yeah, but the point|I'm making is that I can't -- Who -- Who --|Who is this? I'm Jeremy Goodwin.
Oh, you're here for|the associate producer job.
Yes, and let me just say that|it is an extraordinary honor|to even be asked -- -I'm not ready for you yet.
|-I'll sit right here.
-South latitude.
|-Ah.
I get them mixed up.
Common mistake.
-Hey.
|-Casey.
Listen, I need you to take|30 seconds off the NFL|injury report and give it to me|for the, uh, intro|on ACC recruiting violations.
-Fine.
|-Thanks.
You're screwing up|my show, Casey.
Keep the 30 seconds.
-That's not what I mean.
|-I know.
I was joking.
-I know you were joking.
|-Yeah, I could tell by the way|you didn't laugh at all|when I said it.
That's 'cause I'm mad at you|and also, it wasn't that funny.
Dana, did you come in here|to give me a pep talk? 'Cause if you came in here|to give me a pep talk, can we assume that it already|happened, that it worked,|and that I'm peppy? Casey, sit down.
Now, I know you think|that there are 250 other people|in this business -No, I don't think there are|250 other people who can produce|this show.
|-who could produce this show.
Yes, you do,|and whether you're right|or whether you're wrong, I'm the one that has the job,|and I love it.
I love producing|"Sports Night.
" I don't come down|till 3:00 in the morning.
I love doing "Sports Night,"|and you used to, too.
Now, I came in to tell you|that it looks like Cleveland's gonna go|to a four-man rotation|for the stretch drive, I came in to tell you|that it looks like segments 16 through 21|might have to get condensed but mostly|I came in to tell you you are screwing up my show.
-Natalie!|-Yo! Let's meet with your guy.
Jeremy,|this is Dana Whitaker.
-We've met.
|-Yes.
You have an impressive résumé.
|Let me ask you some questions.
-You look nervous.
|-I'm okay.
-Would you like|a glass of water?|-Uh, no, thank you.
A soft drink?|We have Fresca.
If you're taking orders,|I'll have the angel-hair pasta|and a nice merlot.
-I'm just -- I'm just trying|to make him comfortable.
|-Can we interview the man? I know.
|A little professionalism|is all I'm saying.
-I could come back later.
|-What are|your favorite sports? Uh, beg your pardon.
-Where are you strongest?|-Oh, football.
-Great.
|Let's talk about basketball.
|-I said football.
I heard you.
|Let's talk about basketball.
Uh, we could talk about|baseball or hockey.
Oh, you're pretty strong|in baseball and hockey, are you? -Not as strong|as football, but --|-Good.
|Let's talk about the Knicks.
I walked right into|that one, didn't I? Well, I left the door|wide open for you.
-Shot of bourbon?|-Please.
Sit.
I'm sorry.
That was harsh.
|I hurt your feelings.
Name three things the Knicks|need to do this season to make it to the finals.
Um, I couldn't get|another question? You will, but not till I hear|an answer to the first one.
What do the Knicks Three things the Knicks|need to do to contend.
Ms.
Whitaker I would be great|at this job.
You've got to believe me|when I tell you I've been|training my whole life for it.
I've crunched stats,|I've broken down film, and there wasn't a team at my|high school that didn't have me|for an equipment manager.
I have read every box score|in every newspaper that's printed in English|and has a sports section, and I have seen|"Sports Night" every night|since your first broadcast, two years, two months,|and a week ago today.
Now, yes, sure, indeed.
I can tell you|what Ewing and Oakley are|shooting from the field and that you're not gonna stop|John Starks if he squares up|to the basket, and put any defensive pressure|on Charlie Ward, he's gonna fold|like a cheap card table, but if you're asking me|for genuinely sophisticated|analyses -- and I sense that you are -- you gotta give me some time at least 20 minutes.
-Did that make any sense?|-I wasn't really listening.
-Oh, God! It's just --|-Jeremy, Jeremy|this is television.
|Things happen.
If you want to work here,|you've got to not|spontaneously wig out.
Right.
Right.
The Knicks.
Name three things.
-lmprove their|free-throw percentage.
|-Yes.
-Run the floor.
|-Okay.
One more.
Tell Spike Lee to sit down|and shut up? -Excellent!|-Well, welcome|to "Sports Night.
" "Dale Earnhardt, Jeff Gordon,|and Rusty Wallace "were just a few|of the big-name drivers|NASCAR had on hand yesterday -at the Darlington|Motor Speedway --"|-"yesterday, " "Speedway"? What's the problem? You don't want the rhyme.
You got to put "yesterday"|in the second sentence.
"Just a few of the big-name|drivers NASCAR had on hand "at the Darlington|Motor Speedway.
The press event, held yesterday|to announce that --" Hey, we have to talk.
What's up? Well, I've been thinking|about this for a while.
I mean, I want you to know that|I've given this some thought.
I think "yesterday" has got to|go in the first sentence.
|I'll tell you why.
I'm thinking about|leaving the show.
For how long? I've been thinking about it|for a while now.
No, I didn't ask you how long|you were thinking about|leaving the show.
I asked you how long|you were thinking about|leaving the show for.
For good.
Did you get an offer? No, I didn't|get an offer, Danny.
I'm not --|I'm not going to another show.
I'm talking about|getting out of sports.
-Why?|-Look, I'm just tired of it.
-All right?|-You're tired of what? "But first this -- "Sacramento power forward|Jason Grisham was released by a judge|in Houston this morning|after posting a $5,000 bond.
" Which, by the way,|he paid in cash he happened|to have in his pocket.
So Jason Grisham's a jackass.
|You know Jason Grisham.
Look, I got into this|'cause I like getting people|to like sports.
And I've turned into a P.
R.
man|for punks and thugs.
Now any atrocity,|no matter how ridiculous or|hideous or childish -- it doesn't matter --|I make it sports.
second-round draft pick|gets cranky in a Houston bar,|and that's sports.
And let's not forget|the mother of all great|sports stories -- a double homicide|in Brentwood.
If you want to talk,|I'm all for it.
Really, I am.
|But let's talk about what you|need to talk about, okay? The moral decay in American|sports isn't the problem|here, all right? Look, it is the problem.
I -- Look, I have|a 7-year-old son that I get to|see on Wednesdays and alternate weekends,|and these are his heroes.
And now, six days a week,|they're also his male|role models.
Well, quitting your job|ought to do the trick.
-Look, Danny, I know I'm|leaving you in the lurch --|-No, I mean it.
You should definitely quit|your job, because that way,|sports will be good again.
Yeah.
A-Also, your wife,|she'll take you back, and you can be|a role model for your son,|knowing as we do how -- how women and children,|you know, admire the bitter|and the unemployed.
-Are you mental?|-I'll see you at airtime.
Yeah, one thing you definitely|don't want to do is talk|to your friends.
You know,|I wouldn't do that.
Hey, I know you're pissed,|and that's fine, but canning the sarcasm|wouldn't be out of line.
"Fine" and "line" rhymed.
|I'd move "fine" to|the second sentence.
Danny, you're gonna find|another partner.
Anybody would kill|to do this show with you.
I've been here every day,|Casey -- every day --|and I have kept my mouth shut because that's|what you asked me to do.
But if you'd have asked me, I'd have told you|that Lisa is an angry,|unhappy, punishing woman, and in 10 years there's|never been a single moment that has suggested to me|she has any affection|for you at all.
And I have no patience|for people like that.
Now, the people here,|they like you -- Isaac, Natalie,|Kim, Elliott.
I don't know who this new guy,|Jeremy, is, but he seems to|like you just fine.
Have you even noticed|that Dana's been keeping J.
J.
and the network away|from you with a whip|and a chair, huh? Have you noticed that|she's been risking her job|for you every day? And do you really think,|my friend, it has that much|to do with your talent? These are people|who like you, okay, -Guys|-and know what|you've been going through, -and for three months now,|you have shown us nothing|but the back of your hand,|-Guys and now you're gonna show us|the door? Well, excuse me, all right, but the wisdom of your decision|isn't entirely clear to me here.
-Okay? Yeah, I'm pissed.
|-Excuse me.
Fellas And you know what?|I'm tired of it.
-Dan! Casey!|-What?! There's something going on|you're gonna want to see.
|Come on! Hey.
Hey.
|Hey, what's going on? Check it out.
Oh, we need audio!|Yo! That time can't be right.
|Danny.
Danny Danny, can that time|be right? absolutely crazy! With 900 meters left,|at 41 years old, Ntozake Nelson is on a pace|to absolutely shatter|the world record! Go ahead on, old man.
Is he gonna do this? -Does it look like|he's planning on slowing down?|-Come on.
-Bring it.
|-Bring it on.
Come on! Move it! Go! Come on! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!|Go! Go! Go! Go! Lisa!|Lisa, Lisa, it's me! Listen, I need you to do|something for me.
|I'm sorry.
I need you to wake up Charlie|and give him the phone|for a second.
B-Because I need you to! Charlie! I-It's dad.
Hey, uh, did you|finish all your homework? Good.
Turn on your TV.
|Turn to my channel.
I want you to watch this.
This guy's name is|Ntozake Nelson.
Now, look,|I'll call you tomorrow.
|I'll tell you all about it.
But for now,|you just watch him run.
'Cause he's not doing much.
He's just running faster|than any man's ever run before.
I'm gonna be on the air|in about 12 minutes, and if Mom says it's okay,|you can watch the beginning|of the show.
Then I'm gonna give you|the special signal.
That means you got to turn off|your TV and go to sleep.
I love you, too, Charlie.
Listen up.
They're gonna bounce|to us for a 15-second promo|at the end of the race.
Natalie, get the first team|in the studio.
Elliott, Kim, let's go.
I need graphics! -We need Casey.
|-Okay.
Got it.
I'll take care of him.
You okay? Absolutely.
Get to work.
Absolutely.
It's a 15-second teaser, Dan.
|You need copy? -Is the opening Lakers/Sonics?|-Lakers/Sonics, Pistons/Heat.
-I'll take it.
|-You want it? It's not that my teasers are|better than yours, Danny, it's just that yours are|vastly inferior to mine.
I'm new here, so, uh,|if I'm in your way,|you just let me know.
No problem.
-Daniel.
|-What? You were right.
I was wrong.
|It won't happen again.
You want to do something tonight|after the show? Yeah.
You know, I was gonna|ride the Staten Island Ferry|for a while, eat a hot dog.
|You want to come? Yeah, absolutely,|and I'll tell you why.
'Cause it's 17 degrees outside|with the windchill, so what I want to do|is stand in a boat in the middle of|New York Harbor at|half-past midnight.
-You have a better idea?|-Well, we could go to a bar, find some people|we don't like, and beat|the crap out of them.
Heads up.
In 321.
I'm Casey McCall|alongside Dan Rydell.
Lakers/Sonics, Pistons/Heat,|and guess what.
Ntozake Nelson's|got something to say|about a world record.
Seeing is believing,|so stick around for|"Sports Night," -coming at|the top of the hour.
|-He's back.
You'll be glad you did.
We're out.
We're up in nine minutes.
Dana, could you come here|for a second? Do you have any idea|how to spell Ntozake? -What do you want?|-I want you to come here.
What? No onecan produce|this show but you.
Youhave nine minutes.
Somebody get him|a new shirt.
What's wrong|with my shirt? You got my mascara|on your collar.
-Natalie?|-Yeah.
Get somebody on the phone.
|I want to make sure there aren't|going to be any mistakes.
-I'm nervous|about the satellite feed|from Buenos Aires.
|-Sure.
-Natalie?|-Yeah.
-Argentina.
|-Right.
Natalie! Umdouble-check that.
You know what?|Here's something I don't|understand about rugby.
Oh, you do understand|something about rugby? I've played rugby, all right?|Now, I want to ask you -- Wait.
Wait.
W-When have|you played rugby before? When I was in college|I playedcoed rugby.
You did not play rugby.
I played rugby.
I want|to ask you a question
You're up on router 7.
|Have a good show.
Will, show me Denver.
|And I need 15 points|of sound on Kansas City.
Denver's up.
|-Yes, it is.
|Give me Green Bay.
Stand by, Audio.
|Stand by, VTR.
-Georgia Dome's hot.
|-You're hot, Atlanta.
Somebody, Arrowhead,|then back to Mile High --|is that how it goes? We're live here|in 60 seconds.
Somebody? Anybody? What do you need? -Does Arrowhead --|-Arrowhead bounces|to Mile High.
Thank you.
Why'd you change that? Just to mess with your head.
|Get me Judy at Oakland-Alameda.
When you get right down to it,|what I'm saying is this, Case -- I think you should start getting|out of your house.
-Dan, we're going|to Arrowhead first, then Denver.
|-Got it.
Just out of your house.
I am out of my house.
I've been out of my house|for six months.
I don't live at my house.
We're coming to the studio|in 90 seconds.
Good evening.
-Isaac Jaffee's|in the house, Natalie.
|-Yo.
We can make a feed on 43.
Just make sure|the guys have the change.
Casey, did you get the change|on Arrowhead and Denver?!.
Natalie, if you shout|into a microphone when I'm wearing an earpiece,|it poses the question "Is there a decibel level at|which the human head will just, you know, explode?" Is he in a better mood|than he was this morning, or is this gonna be|another crappy show? Hey, Casey,|Isaac wants to know|if you're in a better mood -- Shut up.
Pretty crappy, yeah.
-Roll tape.
|-Good show, everybody.
Tonight on "Sports Night, "|we'll show you what comes up Dan, Casey, we're on you|in 60 seconds.
Uh, excuse me.
Dan's got his hand raised.
Why are we quoting|high-level sources inside the Swiss|Olympic Committee on Helsinki's bid|for the 2010 Olympics? -What's the problem?|-Helsinki's in Finland.
Really? Yeah.
|Don't worry.
I got it.
Are you sure? Am I sure that Helsinki's|in Finland? Yeah.
I'm quite sure.
I thought it was in Sweden.
It says "unnamed Swiss|Olympic officials.
" Graphics! Which is it,|Sweden or Switzerland? It's in Finland.
-Elliott, get something up|on the Net!|-What do you need? We think Helsinki might be|in Finland.
Yeah, we think|there's a pretty good chance.
Coming in live in 15.
We'll change it|on the teleprompter.
Cool.
We can go out|after the show.
You can stay at my place.
|Whatever you need.
|Whatever you need.
I'm getting a divorce.
|I don't need a cruise director.
Right.
My foul.
Forget I said anything.
In 54 Good evening, everybody.
From New York City,|I'm Dan Rydell alongside|Casey McCall.
Those stories and more,|plus we'll take you live|to the locker room at Arrowhead.
All that coming up after this.
You're watching "Sports Night"|on CSC, so stick around.
We're out.
Up in 60.
Yeah.
Finland.
The national bird is|the whooping swan.
-Thank you.
|-Thank you.
Columbia, 34, Colgate, 3.
|Who owes me money? Thank you.
Oh! Hey, Jason Grisham|got arrested in a strip bar|in Houston last night.
That was|only a matter of time.
Kim and Elliott are on it.
Kim, Elliott.
|Jason Grisham -- what's up? He shot 12-for-15|from the field, and then he went|to the Silver Key.
-It's a nude nightclub.
|-Topless only.
A guy called him something he|didn't like, and Grisham hit him|with a bottle of cognac.
-It was brandy.
|-It was cognac.
It was Courvoisier.
Courvoisier is cognac.
You get me the lawyer,|you get me the agent, then get|us Jason Grisham on the phone.
-We can't get Grisham|on the phone.
|-Yes, you can.
-We are trying.
|-Try harder.
Then he sends a guy to|the hospital with 14 stitches.
-Can you imagine|if he'd had a lousy game? You come in early? I came in early.
You slept in the office? -I came in early.
|-You came in yesterday.
Mom Have I told you about|my New York renaissance? Yeah.
A lot.
|You've told me about your|New York renaissance a lot.
Last night's show.
|What's up? Grisham's free on bail,|Casey slept in his office, and I'm having|a New York renaissance.
Cool.
Rundown meeting's|in five minutes.
I think the show's going to hell|in a handbasket, and I'm ready to fire|the whole bunch of you.
Yes, but you won't|'cause we're all family here, and I'm just like|a daughter to you.
No, this is|a television show here, and you're very much like|an employee to me.
I got to give Casey|some slack, Isaac.
-Why?|-Why do I have to give him|some slack? That's the question.
|If you can't tell me,|I can't tell the network.
-Isaac|-What, is there something|going on between the two of you? -Absolutely not.
|-Then why? Because I owe it to him,|that's why.
We all do.
Now he's having|some personal problems -- Oh, I know all about|his problems.
You know, the network|knows about his problems, too, as a result of which,|they become my problems.
And I'm saying|that at the very most,|I want them to be your problems.
-Got it.
|-Do you? -Yes.
|-Good.
It's a genuine renaissance,|Casey.
I have lived in New York|my whole life.
This is the time|I should be sick of it,|but I'm not.
-'Cause you're having|a renaissance.
|-That's right.
-Really?|-Yeah.
Nobody cares.
So how do we avoid|these Helsinki mishaps|in the future? -We've been short-handed|since Phil and Michael left.
|-Well, hire somebody.
Natalie's been interviewing|people for an associate|producer position, and I'm meeting her finalists|this afternoon.
You guys, he is so|totally cute and intense with a dark mystery|about him that says, "This is not a technician,|this is an artist.
" Well, before you hire him,|can you make sure he can find|Finland on a map? You know what, Isaac?|Maybe let that go.
You have Metropolitan Opera|under the baton of|Mr.
James Levine.
-What is he talking about?|-His New York renaissance.
-Want to hear about it?|-No.
Good.
|Quickly, now -- talk to me.
Lambeau, 3Com, and Foxboro.
Casey's got Tampa Bay|and the mighty Bengals|of Cincinnati.
-What's in Cincinnati?|-Well, the mighty Bengals,|for one thing.
-They're gonna cut Santori.
|-The placekicker? He's made eight field-goal|attempts in three games and has connected on a grand|total of none of them.
-Oh, I've met him.
|He's a good guy.
|-Can't kick.
-He is a good guy.
|-Can't kick.
-He'll get picked up|by another team.
|-No, he won't.
You know why? -Why?|-'Cause he can't kick.
All right, commercial one,|then on to The Dugout Report -- I saw him kick in practice.
At this level, they pretty much|want you to be able to kick|in a game.
Moving on,|from center ice -- I once kicked a 12-yard|field goal in a gym class.
Well, then you should get|yourself a tryout for the|mighty Bengals of Cincinnati.
Excuse me.
If anyone|needs me, I'll be hurling|myself out the window.
Plaza hotel, Oak Bar,|dry martini.
New York at night, my friend.
|This city never sleeps.
Commercial 2,|then on to segment 24.
Actually, I'd like to go back|to 23 if nobody minds.
Any chance we could do it|a little later? -I want to move this along.
|-The network would like me to|address this now.
J.
J.
, Dana's the producer.
|We like to give her the|impression she's in charge.
It's just that we're|a little short on time.
-Segment 24 --|-I have some concerns|about segment 23.
Is this you or the network? In these meetings, Casey, mine|is the voice of the network.
Wow, J.
J.
! What are your concerns? Who is Ntozake Nelson, and why are you doing a|3-minute-and-20-second feature|on him? Natalie! Ntozake Nelson's|a South African distance|runner -- 15,000 meters.
As a schoolteacher in Jamestown,|he led protests against|the white majority.
That's swell,|but, folks, I have -- -No, I --|-Hey! He was beaten up|and thrown in jail.
His legs were broken,|and the doctor said he'd|never walk without a cane.
He's 41 years old,|and guess what he's doing|tonight.
It doesn't matter, 'cause I've|already changed the channel.
He's running|in the World Pacific Games, an event this network is|carrying live tonight at 9:00.
The Ntozake Nelson feature|is promoting -- Look, I am all for|you guys spotlighting|our other programming.
But can't we find|a good-looking 22-year-old|American who might actually win? Well, if you find him,|send him over to my place,|but in the meantime -- Look, I have|a ratings book on my desk|that's very instructive.
Now, it says|that our key demographics,|including 11- to 17-year-olds who watch your|morning rerun over breakfast,|do not want to see features about 41-year-old,|politically oppressed|Third World distance runners.
Now, they are instructing us,|and I think it's a good idea|to listen.
I've got Jason Grisham|on the phone.
J.
J.
, Danny and I have|hosted shows in the fifth- and|third-largest markets|in the country, and we've received awards|for journalistic excellence.
I'd prefer|not to take my instructions|from 11-year-olds.
And the next time you sit|in our rundown meeting and I hear the voice|of the network come out|of your mouth, I'm gonna put my foot|on your throat.
You ever ride|the subway all day long, I mean,|just for the fun of it? Natalie, Kim, Elliott,|everybody else, um, you want to step outside|as well, please? Go ahead.
I'd like to apologize|for Casey's performance|in these meetings lately.
Dana, I'm not concerned|with Casey's performance|in these meetings lately.
Well, I appreciate|your understanding.
I'm concerned with Casey's|performance on the air lately.
-What's your point?|-My point is at the moment, Casey has|less on-air charm and charisma than my high school|driving instructor,|and you know it, Dan.
Now, I think|the time has come for you to think about the|possibility of another partner.
I'm not gonna do the show|with your high school|driving instructor, J.
J.
, if that's what you're|asking me, okay, so Who will you do|the show with? I'll do the show with Casey.
You've got a very big future|at this network, Dan -- My future is writing|and anchoring a sports program|with my partner, Casey McCall.
Now, if it's here, it's here.
|If it's not, it is|someplace else.
For right now I'm gonna forget|this conversation|ever took place.
Dana, Isaac,|you guys need me? No.
Thanks, Dan.
|You're done.
I really got to admire the way you manhandled|my staff this morning, J.
J.
Look, Isaac,|I have a specific -- Look don't take me on.
The network's not gonna|wait forever.
It's your call, Dana.
But pretty soon,|it's gonna be my call.
'Cause here's the thing -- I can't let it be|their call.
Yeah.
They can put a Tonka truck|on Mars and send me pictures, but I can't get|a decent satellite signal|from Buenos Aires.
Excuse me.
Ma'am? That's probably because of|a high-pressure system building up around 32 degrees|south latitude.
It'll blow by in two hours.
-There's weather|in outer space?|-Uh, no, ma'am.
But I think you're leasing time|on the East Tech keyhole|satellite, and their signal gets cleared|through a tracking station|in Mexico City.
Yeah, but the point|I'm making is that I can't -- Who -- Who --|Who is this? I'm Jeremy Goodwin.
Oh, you're here for|the associate producer job.
Yes, and let me just say that|it is an extraordinary honor|to even be asked -- -I'm not ready for you yet.
|-I'll sit right here.
-South latitude.
|-Ah.
I get them mixed up.
Common mistake.
-Hey.
|-Casey.
Listen, I need you to take|30 seconds off the NFL|injury report and give it to me|for the, uh, intro|on ACC recruiting violations.
-Fine.
|-Thanks.
You're screwing up|my show, Casey.
Keep the 30 seconds.
-That's not what I mean.
|-I know.
I was joking.
-I know you were joking.
|-Yeah, I could tell by the way|you didn't laugh at all|when I said it.
That's 'cause I'm mad at you|and also, it wasn't that funny.
Dana, did you come in here|to give me a pep talk? 'Cause if you came in here|to give me a pep talk, can we assume that it already|happened, that it worked,|and that I'm peppy? Casey, sit down.
Now, I know you think|that there are 250 other people|in this business -No, I don't think there are|250 other people who can produce|this show.
|-who could produce this show.
Yes, you do,|and whether you're right|or whether you're wrong, I'm the one that has the job,|and I love it.
I love producing|"Sports Night.
" I don't come down|till 3:00 in the morning.
I love doing "Sports Night,"|and you used to, too.
Now, I came in to tell you|that it looks like Cleveland's gonna go|to a four-man rotation|for the stretch drive, I came in to tell you|that it looks like segments 16 through 21|might have to get condensed but mostly|I came in to tell you you are screwing up my show.
-Natalie!|-Yo! Let's meet with your guy.
Jeremy,|this is Dana Whitaker.
-We've met.
|-Yes.
You have an impressive résumé.
|Let me ask you some questions.
-You look nervous.
|-I'm okay.
-Would you like|a glass of water?|-Uh, no, thank you.
A soft drink?|We have Fresca.
If you're taking orders,|I'll have the angel-hair pasta|and a nice merlot.
-I'm just -- I'm just trying|to make him comfortable.
|-Can we interview the man? I know.
|A little professionalism|is all I'm saying.
-I could come back later.
|-What are|your favorite sports? Uh, beg your pardon.
-Where are you strongest?|-Oh, football.
-Great.
|Let's talk about basketball.
|-I said football.
I heard you.
|Let's talk about basketball.
Uh, we could talk about|baseball or hockey.
Oh, you're pretty strong|in baseball and hockey, are you? -Not as strong|as football, but --|-Good.
|Let's talk about the Knicks.
I walked right into|that one, didn't I? Well, I left the door|wide open for you.
-Shot of bourbon?|-Please.
Sit.
I'm sorry.
That was harsh.
|I hurt your feelings.
Name three things the Knicks|need to do this season to make it to the finals.
Um, I couldn't get|another question? You will, but not till I hear|an answer to the first one.
What do the Knicks Three things the Knicks|need to do to contend.
Ms.
Whitaker I would be great|at this job.
You've got to believe me|when I tell you I've been|training my whole life for it.
I've crunched stats,|I've broken down film, and there wasn't a team at my|high school that didn't have me|for an equipment manager.
I have read every box score|in every newspaper that's printed in English|and has a sports section, and I have seen|"Sports Night" every night|since your first broadcast, two years, two months,|and a week ago today.
Now, yes, sure, indeed.
I can tell you|what Ewing and Oakley are|shooting from the field and that you're not gonna stop|John Starks if he squares up|to the basket, and put any defensive pressure|on Charlie Ward, he's gonna fold|like a cheap card table, but if you're asking me|for genuinely sophisticated|analyses -- and I sense that you are -- you gotta give me some time at least 20 minutes.
-Did that make any sense?|-I wasn't really listening.
-Oh, God! It's just --|-Jeremy, Jeremy|this is television.
|Things happen.
If you want to work here,|you've got to not|spontaneously wig out.
Right.
Right.
The Knicks.
Name three things.
-lmprove their|free-throw percentage.
|-Yes.
-Run the floor.
|-Okay.
One more.
Tell Spike Lee to sit down|and shut up? -Excellent!|-Well, welcome|to "Sports Night.
" "Dale Earnhardt, Jeff Gordon,|and Rusty Wallace "were just a few|of the big-name drivers|NASCAR had on hand yesterday -at the Darlington|Motor Speedway --"|-"yesterday, " "Speedway"? What's the problem? You don't want the rhyme.
You got to put "yesterday"|in the second sentence.
"Just a few of the big-name|drivers NASCAR had on hand "at the Darlington|Motor Speedway.
The press event, held yesterday|to announce that --" Hey, we have to talk.
What's up? Well, I've been thinking|about this for a while.
I mean, I want you to know that|I've given this some thought.
I think "yesterday" has got to|go in the first sentence.
|I'll tell you why.
I'm thinking about|leaving the show.
For how long? I've been thinking about it|for a while now.
No, I didn't ask you how long|you were thinking about|leaving the show.
I asked you how long|you were thinking about|leaving the show for.
For good.
Did you get an offer? No, I didn't|get an offer, Danny.
I'm not --|I'm not going to another show.
I'm talking about|getting out of sports.
-Why?|-Look, I'm just tired of it.
-All right?|-You're tired of what? "But first this -- "Sacramento power forward|Jason Grisham was released by a judge|in Houston this morning|after posting a $5,000 bond.
" Which, by the way,|he paid in cash he happened|to have in his pocket.
So Jason Grisham's a jackass.
|You know Jason Grisham.
Look, I got into this|'cause I like getting people|to like sports.
And I've turned into a P.
R.
man|for punks and thugs.
Now any atrocity,|no matter how ridiculous or|hideous or childish -- it doesn't matter --|I make it sports.
second-round draft pick|gets cranky in a Houston bar,|and that's sports.
And let's not forget|the mother of all great|sports stories -- a double homicide|in Brentwood.
If you want to talk,|I'm all for it.
Really, I am.
|But let's talk about what you|need to talk about, okay? The moral decay in American|sports isn't the problem|here, all right? Look, it is the problem.
I -- Look, I have|a 7-year-old son that I get to|see on Wednesdays and alternate weekends,|and these are his heroes.
And now, six days a week,|they're also his male|role models.
Well, quitting your job|ought to do the trick.
-Look, Danny, I know I'm|leaving you in the lurch --|-No, I mean it.
You should definitely quit|your job, because that way,|sports will be good again.
Yeah.
A-Also, your wife,|she'll take you back, and you can be|a role model for your son,|knowing as we do how -- how women and children,|you know, admire the bitter|and the unemployed.
-Are you mental?|-I'll see you at airtime.
Yeah, one thing you definitely|don't want to do is talk|to your friends.
You know,|I wouldn't do that.
Hey, I know you're pissed,|and that's fine, but canning the sarcasm|wouldn't be out of line.
"Fine" and "line" rhymed.
|I'd move "fine" to|the second sentence.
Danny, you're gonna find|another partner.
Anybody would kill|to do this show with you.
I've been here every day,|Casey -- every day --|and I have kept my mouth shut because that's|what you asked me to do.
But if you'd have asked me, I'd have told you|that Lisa is an angry,|unhappy, punishing woman, and in 10 years there's|never been a single moment that has suggested to me|she has any affection|for you at all.
And I have no patience|for people like that.
Now, the people here,|they like you -- Isaac, Natalie,|Kim, Elliott.
I don't know who this new guy,|Jeremy, is, but he seems to|like you just fine.
Have you even noticed|that Dana's been keeping J.
J.
and the network away|from you with a whip|and a chair, huh? Have you noticed that|she's been risking her job|for you every day? And do you really think,|my friend, it has that much|to do with your talent? These are people|who like you, okay, -Guys|-and know what|you've been going through, -and for three months now,|you have shown us nothing|but the back of your hand,|-Guys and now you're gonna show us|the door? Well, excuse me, all right, but the wisdom of your decision|isn't entirely clear to me here.
-Okay? Yeah, I'm pissed.
|-Excuse me.
Fellas And you know what?|I'm tired of it.
-Dan! Casey!|-What?! There's something going on|you're gonna want to see.
|Come on! Hey.
Hey.
|Hey, what's going on? Check it out.
Oh, we need audio!|Yo! That time can't be right.
|Danny.
Danny Danny, can that time|be right? absolutely crazy! With 900 meters left,|at 41 years old, Ntozake Nelson is on a pace|to absolutely shatter|the world record! Go ahead on, old man.
Is he gonna do this? -Does it look like|he's planning on slowing down?|-Come on.
-Bring it.
|-Bring it on.
Come on! Move it! Go! Come on! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!|Go! Go! Go! Go! Lisa!|Lisa, Lisa, it's me! Listen, I need you to do|something for me.
|I'm sorry.
I need you to wake up Charlie|and give him the phone|for a second.
B-Because I need you to! Charlie! I-It's dad.
Hey, uh, did you|finish all your homework? Good.
Turn on your TV.
|Turn to my channel.
I want you to watch this.
This guy's name is|Ntozake Nelson.
Now, look,|I'll call you tomorrow.
|I'll tell you all about it.
But for now,|you just watch him run.
'Cause he's not doing much.
He's just running faster|than any man's ever run before.
I'm gonna be on the air|in about 12 minutes, and if Mom says it's okay,|you can watch the beginning|of the show.
Then I'm gonna give you|the special signal.
That means you got to turn off|your TV and go to sleep.
I love you, too, Charlie.
Listen up.
They're gonna bounce|to us for a 15-second promo|at the end of the race.
Natalie, get the first team|in the studio.
Elliott, Kim, let's go.
I need graphics! -We need Casey.
|-Okay.
Got it.
I'll take care of him.
You okay? Absolutely.
Get to work.
Absolutely.
It's a 15-second teaser, Dan.
|You need copy? -Is the opening Lakers/Sonics?|-Lakers/Sonics, Pistons/Heat.
-I'll take it.
|-You want it? It's not that my teasers are|better than yours, Danny, it's just that yours are|vastly inferior to mine.
I'm new here, so, uh,|if I'm in your way,|you just let me know.
No problem.
-Daniel.
|-What? You were right.
I was wrong.
|It won't happen again.
You want to do something tonight|after the show? Yeah.
You know, I was gonna|ride the Staten Island Ferry|for a while, eat a hot dog.
|You want to come? Yeah, absolutely,|and I'll tell you why.
'Cause it's 17 degrees outside|with the windchill, so what I want to do|is stand in a boat in the middle of|New York Harbor at|half-past midnight.
-You have a better idea?|-Well, we could go to a bar, find some people|we don't like, and beat|the crap out of them.
Heads up.
In 321.
I'm Casey McCall|alongside Dan Rydell.
Lakers/Sonics, Pistons/Heat,|and guess what.
Ntozake Nelson's|got something to say|about a world record.
Seeing is believing,|so stick around for|"Sports Night," -coming at|the top of the hour.
|-He's back.
You'll be glad you did.
We're out.
We're up in nine minutes.
Dana, could you come here|for a second? Do you have any idea|how to spell Ntozake? -What do you want?|-I want you to come here.
What? No onecan produce|this show but you.
Youhave nine minutes.
Somebody get him|a new shirt.
What's wrong|with my shirt? You got my mascara|on your collar.
-Natalie?|-Yeah.
Get somebody on the phone.
|I want to make sure there aren't|going to be any mistakes.
-I'm nervous|about the satellite feed|from Buenos Aires.
|-Sure.
-Natalie?|-Yeah.
-Argentina.
|-Right.
Natalie! Umdouble-check that.
You know what?|Here's something I don't|understand about rugby.
Oh, you do understand|something about rugby? I've played rugby, all right?|Now, I want to ask you -- Wait.
Wait.
W-When have|you played rugby before? When I was in college|I playedcoed rugby.
You did not play rugby.
I played rugby.
I want|to ask you a question