St. Denis Medical (2024) s01e01 Episode Script
Welcome to St. Denis
1
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪
- OK.
- Mm.
- Got you a pack lunch.
- Oh, thank you, ma'am.
Some treats from the
vending machine on me.
- Yeah?
- And this is the number
- for that drug treatment center, OK?
- Oh. Mm, yeah.
The same one I told you about
the last three times you OD'd.
I know. I'll call 'em.
You've really, really got
to lay off the drugs, OK?
You could actually die.
Oh, yeah, I know.
And then, you know,
who would come bug me
and make me spend all my
quarters on them, right?
[LAUGHS] No more, I promise.
- No drugs from now on.
- OK, good.
[INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT]
[WHISPERING] Listen, um, if
you are going to use again,
as a nurse, I have access
to some really good stuff
and I will hook you up, OK?
Yeah. Let's do that.
No, man!
- That was a test.
- Oh.
- See?
- Yeah.
That's what you can't do.
Get your stuff. Let me get your
chair and get you out of here.
You want to rehearse it again?
I didn't know we were going to
Do you want some drugs?
And you say, "No!"
No, but I didn't expect you to say that.
When I was a kid, I really
wanted to be a doctor.
And then when I was in college,
my nan got sick, so we spent
a lot of time in the hospital.
And that's when I realized that
the nurses really provide
the care part of health care.
So I became an RN and I love it.
[CHUCKLES]
You know, it's not always glamorous,
and our patients don't
always appreciate us.
And the pay's not great.
I mean, considering the amount of work
and the risks that we take.
But every now and then,
a moment comes along where you
truly change someone's life.
And that's beautiful.
Uh, Mr. Flynn,
those are supposed to,
uh, open in the back.
I don't want you to see my tushy.
[CHUCKLES]
[UPBEAT ENERGETIC MUSIC]
♪
Welcome to St. Denis Medical Center,
an international medical destination.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
It's what I hope to be saying
in about five to ten years' time.
It's going to take a lot of vision,
a lot of hard work,
and a lot more donations.
Hint.
We are a safety net hospital,
which means we provide care to everyone,
regardless of insurance
or financial status.
But that just means we
have to work extra hard
and stay positive.
Hey, you guys.
What is it that I always say?
What's the most infectious
thing in a hospital?
- C. diff?
- No.
Antibiotic-resistant staph?
No.
I think it's pneumonia.
No, you guys, the most infectious
thing in a hospital is a smile.
- [CHUCKLES]
- I've never heard you say that before.
I say it all the time.
We have a new floor
nurse starting today.
It's a young guy from Montana.
Montana?
Ooh, yeah.
[ROLLING R] Bring to me, please.
That is exactly the type
of unprofessional reaction
I was going to warn you about.
You can't do that.
- Really excited to meet him.
- Or that.
- [LAUGHING] Stop it!
- Stop what?
You OK?
Yeah.
I was just dry-humping the desk
and imagining it was the Montana nurse.
Cool.
So apparently, I ordered
so much Postmates last month
they sent me a gift card.
Sweet.
Sad. That's a sad thing.
Yeah, I lean towards sad too.
But Burgerville
milkshakes tonight on me.
Can I get mine with oat milk?
Probably not.
- You?
- Oh, no, I'm good.
My shift's done at 4:00.
Please. You always work past your shift.
Not tonight. My kids are
doing "Mamma Mia" at school.
How about a backup milkshake?
You seem like a hazelnut gal.
Nope, no need. I am done at 4:00.
OK, there'll be no sharing later.
OK, can you go help a sick person now?
[SHOUTS] No one share
milkshakes with this woman!
Put your hand up so they can see.
Nurse Alex, no milkshakes for her!
A couple of weeks ago,
I got a promotion,
and so I am officially
a supervising nurse.
Came with a small pay bump
and a large responsibility bump.
So it's been a little difficult
finding that work-life balance,
but you know, it's good.
It's it'll be good.
[CHUCKLING] It'll be good.
[HYPERVENTILATING LAUGHTER]
I've been here for three hours already.
Ma'am, ma'am, I
- I don't understand.
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
How are you letting everybody else in
- Um
- And I'm just sitting there?
- Excuse me, could you tell me where
- I hear you!
You know something? I need
- I demand to see a doctor!
- I need to check into the nurse's station.
Pause. It's a priority-based
system and "my leg hurts"
does not get seen before
"my spleen exploded."
Well, my spleen hurts too.
Ma'am, where is your spleen?
Wh it's where the spleen is.
You what you should not
like, right in this area.
I mean, what
Lower lower than left slide.
And sometimes it comes
and creeps over here.
Nice try. Have a seat.
- Next in line?
- I'm new today and I'm supposed
- Next in line.
- I'm not, like, injured or anything.
- I just
- Good.
Then you have no problem
walking to the back of
that long line of people
who are following the rules!
Next in line?
Sir.
How can I help you today?
Late on my first day. Not, uh, ideal.
I was born in a really
religious community
that doesn't believe in
"medicine," so when I told my parents
I wanted to be a nurse, my
dad was not happy, you know?
He was like, "Why can't you be
more like your cousin Wyatt,"
you know? "He listens!"
Unfortunately, Wyatt
passed away last year.
- Strep throat.
- This is the beating heart of St. Denis,
our world-class emergency department.
Now, it doesn't look fancy,
but it's got some of the
best doctors in the country.
[CHUCKLES]
I mean, in in Oregon.
Carving out Portland
because that's a big city,
so they probably well, you get it.
Uh, here's Dr. Ron, Dr. Ron Leonard,
our elder statesman.
Now, how long have you
worked here, Dr. Ron?
- Probably decades.
- Centuries.
[CHUCKLES] Well, why don't you tell us
about a typical day in the ER?
And don't tone it
down. They want it raw.
Wow. Where to begin?
Well, I just examined a
patient with a heart murmur.
- Mm.
- That took about two minutes.
Now I'm going to spend 40 minutes
filling out electronic health records.
- That's a party.
- Uh, Dr. Ron is an excellent physician,
but he can be a little grumpy.
Kind of like Dr. House.
Please. He wishes he was House.
[CHUCKLES] Dr. Bruce Schweitz.
He's our star trauma surgeon.
We are so lucky to have him.
No, I'm lucky.
I'm lucky to have these gifts, really.
I mean, look, I do what I can.
And sure, if saving someone's life
makes their day just
a little bit brighter,
then it's all worth it.
Do I like being a doctor?
I used to.
Till I figured out patients
are just like beat-up old cars.
You fix them up, you get them running,
then another car conks out.
I'm just a glorified mechanic.
Right, so you are going
to be ranking nurse,
but if anything comes
up that you can't handle,
you can call me.
I'll be fine.
If I don't answer, this is
the number for the school.
And if they don't pick up,
this is the number for
the bar next to the school.
And can you also check
in on Mrs. Thune
Dude, I got this.
Go watch your kids
murder some ABBA songs.
- Go.
- You're right.
You're right.
Hey, Stella?
You're gonna twist that line.
She's gonna twist that line.
- Just don't look. Look away, please.
- OK, you know what?
I'm just going to do
it. I'll just do it.
Hi. I got it. [CHUCKLES]
Controlling?
No, I haven't heard that before.
I mean, this is not the type of job,
you know, where if you mess
up, it's like, "Oh, gosh,
we lost the big account," you know?
This is like, if you mess up, it's
we took out the wrong organ, you know?
So you don't have to do things my way,
but you do have to
do them the right way.
Which is, you know, how I do them.
[CHUCKLES] So.
OK, so I figure if we set
it up against the south wall,
we'll get that beautiful
afternoon light.
But feng shui-wise,
if we put it over here,
it might be a better flow.
What do you think?
Uh, how about in the
corner by the outlet?
[WHISPERS] Yes.
Hey, Dr. Joyce Henderson,
why does a small, regional hospital
need a $300,000 Bravo-Genesis
3D mammography machine?
That sounds like a lot of money.
Well, I think women are worth it.
Also, if you're trying to become
a destination medical facility,
you need an area where you
can outshine your competitors,
and our area is going
to be the breast area.
Women from as far away as Idaho
are going to come to
St. Denis because
[GASPS] [BLEEP]
we have the best
breast test in the West.
Best breast test in the you guys.
St. Denis, the best
breast test in the West.
What do you think?
- Sure.
- Yes!
[LAUGHS] I handle most of our PR.
I know charting sucks,
and we all hate it,
but you know, it's
really important to get
Excuse me. Are you new here?
Because you look just like one
of our nurses who left at 4:00.
Ha, ha. Very funny.
I'm leaving now. I'm just hitting save.
Before I upload the software,
are you sure you have the bandwidth?
We usually install these
at bigger hospitals.
[SCOFF] Well, newsflash,
we are just as good as any of
those bigger hospitals, so
[POPS LIPS] Full speed ahead.
So you're running over a thousand megs?
Hmm. [CHUCKLES]
Great. OK.
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
- Whoa, whoa.
- Oh, no.
I think the whole system just went down.
- [PHONE RINGING]
- Did we just lose everything?
It's all right. Don't panic.
I can still save this.
It's kind of what I do.
Here we go. All right, come on.
Stay with me.
[SOBBING] Stay with me.
[LAUGHING] I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
It's dead. It's gone.
We need to call the
IT guy. Can somebody
Go now.
Ron, I can't go now.
This doesn't have to be your problem.
If you leave now, it won't be.
Big problem. Big, big problem.
[CHUCKLES] We thrive in these moments.
Alex, you look like how I feel.
Come on, baby. I need you. Let's go!
And you missed it.
Come on! Now! Now! Now!
Again, I don't know why
the system went down,
but IT is on the case
and they're going to get everything
up and running in no time, all right?
What are the nurses supposed
to do in the meantime?
All the patient information's
on the computers.
You're going to have
to practice medicine
the way they did before
computers were invented, OK?
Ron, you know about that, right?
Yeah, we used to drill
holes in patients' heads
to release evil spirits,
but hey, that's the '80s for you.
[LAUGHS]
Uh, who's the schmuck?
Oh, sorry. I'm Matthew, everybody.
I'm I'm the new
is schmuck floor nurse?
- Oh, boy.
- I'm the new schmuck.
[CHUCKLES]
They didn't they didn't
have my size scrubs, but
Joyce, our computers are too old, OK?
They need to be
replaced, not just fixed.
Look, we just don't
have the money right now
for a whole new computer system.
But we have money in the budget
for your fancy 3D mammography machine?
- [OVERLAPPING CLAMORING]
- OK.
OK, I was an oncologist for 20 years.
But now that I'm a
hospital administrator,
I'm battling different kinds of cancers
like cynicism, pessimism,
people questioning my judgment
because they think I'm spending
money on things we don't need.
Those attitudes are the real cancers.
St. Denis Regional Medical! ♪
St. Denis Regional Medical!
- No!
- [ALL SHOUT IN PANIC]
All right! Let's get out
there and heal some people!
Come on! Let's go!
OK, guys, listen up.
We need to rebuild our
entire record system by hand.
And we have to go fast.
She's missing her kids'
childhoods for this.
Not missing their childhoods.
I'm just going to be a little bit late.
That's it.
OK, Carla, I need you to take
vitals and start a paper trail.
Janice, get written
scripts from all of the MDs.
Uh, Alex, I
I checked in with all the
patients like you asked.
Great.
And Mr. Lasky wants
morphine, oxy, and Vicodin.
He asked if we had a menu
and I said I didn't think so.
OK. I will check in with
Mr. Lasky. Thank you.
All right. Well, I'm around.
Let me know if you need anything.
- OK.
- Nice.
- Wow. He dumb.
- [LOUD METALLIC CLATTERING]
Sorry, just adjusting this.
Correct height.
No, Ron, I'm just saying that
in the future, I would appreciate it
if you didn't disrespect me
in front of the entire staff.
You want to talk disrespect?
How about all these people
here working their asses off
to fix this while you spent, what,
200 grand on a scanner that we don't
was it more?
It was more.
It's been hours, and your
computers are not my problem.
- Ma'am, ma'am, please
- You're my problem! You don't listen!
OK! OK.
- I hear you.
- OK.
I'm going to give you
the number for the person
- who can help you, all right?
- Thank you.
Mm-hmm. All right.
That's the White House. Ask for Joe.
Tell him there's a nursing shortage
and we need him to fix
the health care system.
- Next!
- Oh, [BLEEP].
All right, we don't have
time to redo a whole intake.
Fever, aches. He probably has the flu.
Give him liquids and a PCR.
Unless uh, forgive
me, Ron, but things
- aren't always what they seem.
- [SIGHS]
Have you visited the Congo
in the last 48 to 72 hours?
It's all right, sir. You can ignore him.
Congo? No.
That's fine. Any African
countries that border the Congo?
Surgeons, I mean, the good ones,
at least, we're not just doctors.
[CHUCKLES] Good lord, no.
No, we're detectives.
We're Sherlock Holmes-es.
The body's been attacked.
Who done it? [CHUCKLES]
[NORMALLY] Or, you know, what done it?
Who done it? What done it?
What done it? Yeah.
Babe, are you coming?
I'm so sorry, honey.
I'm I'm I'm trying.
It's just it's a disaster here.
No, listen.
The girl playing the lead got sick,
and Ella's the understudy,
so she's Donna.
Oh, my God. She's fricking Donna?
She's Donna! Rick, she's Donna.
Yeah. So are you going to make it?
What? Yes. Tell her that I'm coming.
I'm going to leave in two minutes, OK?
OK.
She's she's Donna.
In "Mamma Mia."
[CHUCKLES]
I never knew I was allergic to avocados.
Yeah, they're silent killers.
OK, I got the EpiPen.
Great. Uh, he's going
to give you the shot.
You you want me to
um, not a problem, uh,
because I am a nurse.
So, uh, OK.
I've done a lot of these before,
usually with someone
supervising, but that's fine.
It's just a quick stab.
Oh, sorry. [GROANS]
[CHUCKLES]
Take two. Here we go.
Just quick stab in the leg, all right?
Three, two, one, stick!
OK, wrong side. Got myself.
That's intense, huh?
- You OK?
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]
I feel like I need
to go to the hospital.
[GROANS]
So we just need your
autograph right at the bottom,
and we can process payment.
- Oh, how exciting.
- [CHUCKLES]
Uh
are you sure that this is the
most cutting-edge technology?
Because I'm going to be mad
if I wake up in the morning
and they've come up
with something better
that makes this obsolete, you know?
Like iPhone. Oh, now
there's Max Pro, OK.
This is the best there is.
Great, 'cause I want the best.
- Right.
- The best.
For St. Denis.
[CHUCKLES]
- Wait a minute. Is that a scuff I see?
- What?
All right, I am headed out,
but I want records copied and
distributed to every station
and folders on every door.
Thank you, guys. Go, go.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I'm leaving.
You keep saying that,
but you're still here.
This time, I really am leaving.
And you're just going to
get sucked right back in.
[SING-SONGY] I'm not.
Your life, your choice.
Oh, my choice?
I'm only here because the
computers went down, Ron.
I mean, I had to stay.
You had to stay because
there's a big emergency
here in the emergency room?
Wh what do you want from me?
I mean, you want me to bail the
second that my shift is over?
I'm sorry that I care.
- You want to know what I think?
- No, I do not.
I think you're a
workaholic control freak,
and you're afraid that if you
do go and nothing bad happens,
that just means you're not as
important as you think you are.
[SCOFFS]
Well, I'm only here now because
you're giving me crap about not leaving.
- Then go.
- [CHUCKLING] I'm going.
Enjoy your evening.
I don't care. It's her life.
I just don't want her
to be one of those people
that works so hard
she winds up divorced,
alone, living in a condo
in the middle of Oregon.
Her one joy of the day
is a free milkshake.
Speaking of which,
where is my Postmates?
Mile away.
Randall's got 4 1/2
stars. I think we're good.
Come on, Randall!
[GASPS] My heart's beating so fast.
You think it's possible for somebody's
heart to beat, like, too fast?
- I mean, yeah.
- Huh?
Hey, Alex, I I I stabbed myself
Not my problem, newbie.
I'm on my way out.
- Alex, you have to hear this.
- Nope! La, la, la!
"Mamma Mia." You know what?
Talk to Ron. He'll love it.
Because I feel [GRUNTS]
It's going to be tight,
but I'm going to make it.
[CHUCKLES]
I mean, I love this job,
but it is just a job, you know?
You've got to have boundaries.
I'm always saying that.
I'm always telling my
nurses that you have
Ma'am, are you OK?
I will be when I can find a
hospital that doesn't suck.
OK, wh
you know, if you're having trouble,
you really shouldn't leave.
Terrific.
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
[SOFTLY] She's at a
hospital. She'll be fine.
Ma'am, are you sure you're OK?
[MOANING]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
OK. Ma'am, I'm coming.
- OK, 1A.
- Yep.
Matt, get the door.
- Yep.
- She's unresponsive.
Her breathing's really shallow.
I'll start IV. Wide open.
Get her on the monitor right away.
- Yep.
- We need some doctors in here.
- Call Code Blue respiratory.
- Uh, yep. Uh
How are we doing?
Uh, Code Blue!
I uh Code Blue!
Starting compressions.
Code Blue in here!
Matt, use the intercom!
- Got it, got it.
- [RAPID BEEPING]
Is there a button I'm
supposed to push or something?
I've never used one of these before.
Hurry up!
OK, uh, I'm just going
to press this button.
[LINE CLICKS OFF]
Code Blue, I repeat, Code Blue!
Report to the trauma room.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I need a doctor urgently!
Phew. Cavalry's on the way, guys.
Ma'am, ma'am, you
really need to sign this.
OK, yes, I know.
I'm just, you know,
considering all sides
- and
- [RAPID BEEPING]
Oh, no. What's going on?
Where are the doctors?
- On it.
- On three. One, two
- Oh, I already, uh
- Code Blue.
We've got a Code Blue in Trauma 1A.
I think you need to press that button.
I understand how to do this.
- Then they're not going to be able to
- So where are we?
She she fell and
What's happened?
Collapsed in the parking
lot. Shallow breathing.
Hypoxic. 83%. We lost her pulse.
Uh, she was in the waiting room.
She said her, uh, leg hurts.
Sounds like DVT turned pulmonary.
Let's get some heparin in here.
She sounds like a smoker.
Could be pneumothorax.
It's an embolism, Bruce.
I think it's both.
All right, let's get her stabilized.
We'll do a CT scan. Prep a tube.
Give me Eminase too.
- Calling for Eminase.
- I'll get the bag.
I want epi, 1 milligram.
- Right here, coming in.
- Where's that Eminase?
All right, go ahead
and prep 300 milligrams.
So a blood clot in her leg
triggered a pulmonary embolism,
and that in turn caused
her lung to collapse.
Which is pretty rare, but it happens.
Yeah. I saw a couple during COVID.
We were at war.
Colleagues became brothers.
OK, I think we're good here.
[SIREN WHOOPS]
Leaving only in order
to become an animal.
- A life is saved.
- Hey, you OK?
Yeah, I just, uh, kind of
feel like I choked in there.
What? [SCOFFS]
It's fine. You did great in there.
Don't beat yourself up.
You stepped up.
Oh.
Uh, yeah, thanks.
It was nothing, really, you know?
Nurses got to
got to nurse, right? [CHUCKLES]
Right.
Got to admit, I was
starting to feel like
maybe nursing wasn't for me,
but, uh, then I kind of realized
we're like the Avengers, you know?
Like like, Bruce is Iron Man
and Alex is Captain America
and Dr. Ron is Professor X.
And then there's me,
Guy Who Knows How To
Work a Breathing Bag Man.
Also
[WHISPERING] Might have
met the girl of my dreams!
So yeah, I, uh, I think
I'm in the right place.
He's definitely getting fired.
He's so, so bad.
- [ENGINE SPUTTERING]
- Come on.
Come on.
[SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES SADLY]
[SOMBER MUSIC]
[SIGHS] OK. OK.
This is fine.
♪
Hey.
Sir, I am not in the mood to be
assaulted by a stranger right now.
They told me that you're
the one that saved my Lori.
Oh, your wife, yes.
[SOBBING] My wife!
[PERSON SOBBING]
[SLOW PIANO MUSIC]
♪
Thank you.
♪
That's got to feel good.
[SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC]
Hazelnut.
[CHUCKLES]
The fridge was full, so
I put it in the cooler
- with a kidney, but who cares?
- [SIGHS]
Well, you called it.
Come on.
I'll grab some jumper cables.
It's a good milkshake.
Told you.
What makes a hospital great?
Is it the quality of the staff?
The number of lives saved?
The level of mammographal technology?
Sure. Absolutely, it is.
But running St. Denis,
oh, it is a balancing act.
- [BLEEP].
- [LAUGHS]
We have so much potential,
so much untapped greatness.
And it is my job to tap it.
Tap it till it's dry.
[CHUCKLES] Gonna do "Dancing Queen."
Look at her hair!
- [LAUGHS]
- Ooh, very nice!
But we have needs.
Needs that, uh,
I can't ignore even if I wanted to.
Like a vacuum, the needs.
And they're loud.
And they suck.
They suck, and they suck.
It's my job to tap
faster than they suck,
- or else
- [PHONE VIBRATING]
- [UPBEAT MUSIC STOPS]
- Oh.
10% restocking fee for the boob scanner?
Oh, [BLEEP].
[BELL RINGS]
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
♪
- OK.
- Mm.
- Got you a pack lunch.
- Oh, thank you, ma'am.
Some treats from the
vending machine on me.
- Yeah?
- And this is the number
- for that drug treatment center, OK?
- Oh. Mm, yeah.
The same one I told you about
the last three times you OD'd.
I know. I'll call 'em.
You've really, really got
to lay off the drugs, OK?
You could actually die.
Oh, yeah, I know.
And then, you know,
who would come bug me
and make me spend all my
quarters on them, right?
[LAUGHS] No more, I promise.
- No drugs from now on.
- OK, good.
[INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENT]
[WHISPERING] Listen, um, if
you are going to use again,
as a nurse, I have access
to some really good stuff
and I will hook you up, OK?
Yeah. Let's do that.
No, man!
- That was a test.
- Oh.
- See?
- Yeah.
That's what you can't do.
Get your stuff. Let me get your
chair and get you out of here.
You want to rehearse it again?
I didn't know we were going to
Do you want some drugs?
And you say, "No!"
No, but I didn't expect you to say that.
When I was a kid, I really
wanted to be a doctor.
And then when I was in college,
my nan got sick, so we spent
a lot of time in the hospital.
And that's when I realized that
the nurses really provide
the care part of health care.
So I became an RN and I love it.
[CHUCKLES]
You know, it's not always glamorous,
and our patients don't
always appreciate us.
And the pay's not great.
I mean, considering the amount of work
and the risks that we take.
But every now and then,
a moment comes along where you
truly change someone's life.
And that's beautiful.
Uh, Mr. Flynn,
those are supposed to,
uh, open in the back.
I don't want you to see my tushy.
[CHUCKLES]
[UPBEAT ENERGETIC MUSIC]
♪
Welcome to St. Denis Medical Center,
an international medical destination.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
It's what I hope to be saying
in about five to ten years' time.
It's going to take a lot of vision,
a lot of hard work,
and a lot more donations.
Hint.
We are a safety net hospital,
which means we provide care to everyone,
regardless of insurance
or financial status.
But that just means we
have to work extra hard
and stay positive.
Hey, you guys.
What is it that I always say?
What's the most infectious
thing in a hospital?
- C. diff?
- No.
Antibiotic-resistant staph?
No.
I think it's pneumonia.
No, you guys, the most infectious
thing in a hospital is a smile.
- [CHUCKLES]
- I've never heard you say that before.
I say it all the time.
We have a new floor
nurse starting today.
It's a young guy from Montana.
Montana?
Ooh, yeah.
[ROLLING R] Bring to me, please.
That is exactly the type
of unprofessional reaction
I was going to warn you about.
You can't do that.
- Really excited to meet him.
- Or that.
- [LAUGHING] Stop it!
- Stop what?
You OK?
Yeah.
I was just dry-humping the desk
and imagining it was the Montana nurse.
Cool.
So apparently, I ordered
so much Postmates last month
they sent me a gift card.
Sweet.
Sad. That's a sad thing.
Yeah, I lean towards sad too.
But Burgerville
milkshakes tonight on me.
Can I get mine with oat milk?
Probably not.
- You?
- Oh, no, I'm good.
My shift's done at 4:00.
Please. You always work past your shift.
Not tonight. My kids are
doing "Mamma Mia" at school.
How about a backup milkshake?
You seem like a hazelnut gal.
Nope, no need. I am done at 4:00.
OK, there'll be no sharing later.
OK, can you go help a sick person now?
[SHOUTS] No one share
milkshakes with this woman!
Put your hand up so they can see.
Nurse Alex, no milkshakes for her!
A couple of weeks ago,
I got a promotion,
and so I am officially
a supervising nurse.
Came with a small pay bump
and a large responsibility bump.
So it's been a little difficult
finding that work-life balance,
but you know, it's good.
It's it'll be good.
[CHUCKLING] It'll be good.
[HYPERVENTILATING LAUGHTER]
I've been here for three hours already.
Ma'am, ma'am, I
- I don't understand.
- [OVERLAPPING CHATTER]
How are you letting everybody else in
- Um
- And I'm just sitting there?
- Excuse me, could you tell me where
- I hear you!
You know something? I need
- I demand to see a doctor!
- I need to check into the nurse's station.
Pause. It's a priority-based
system and "my leg hurts"
does not get seen before
"my spleen exploded."
Well, my spleen hurts too.
Ma'am, where is your spleen?
Wh it's where the spleen is.
You what you should not
like, right in this area.
I mean, what
Lower lower than left slide.
And sometimes it comes
and creeps over here.
Nice try. Have a seat.
- Next in line?
- I'm new today and I'm supposed
- Next in line.
- I'm not, like, injured or anything.
- I just
- Good.
Then you have no problem
walking to the back of
that long line of people
who are following the rules!
Next in line?
Sir.
How can I help you today?
Late on my first day. Not, uh, ideal.
I was born in a really
religious community
that doesn't believe in
"medicine," so when I told my parents
I wanted to be a nurse, my
dad was not happy, you know?
He was like, "Why can't you be
more like your cousin Wyatt,"
you know? "He listens!"
Unfortunately, Wyatt
passed away last year.
- Strep throat.
- This is the beating heart of St. Denis,
our world-class emergency department.
Now, it doesn't look fancy,
but it's got some of the
best doctors in the country.
[CHUCKLES]
I mean, in in Oregon.
Carving out Portland
because that's a big city,
so they probably well, you get it.
Uh, here's Dr. Ron, Dr. Ron Leonard,
our elder statesman.
Now, how long have you
worked here, Dr. Ron?
- Probably decades.
- Centuries.
[CHUCKLES] Well, why don't you tell us
about a typical day in the ER?
And don't tone it
down. They want it raw.
Wow. Where to begin?
Well, I just examined a
patient with a heart murmur.
- Mm.
- That took about two minutes.
Now I'm going to spend 40 minutes
filling out electronic health records.
- That's a party.
- Uh, Dr. Ron is an excellent physician,
but he can be a little grumpy.
Kind of like Dr. House.
Please. He wishes he was House.
[CHUCKLES] Dr. Bruce Schweitz.
He's our star trauma surgeon.
We are so lucky to have him.
No, I'm lucky.
I'm lucky to have these gifts, really.
I mean, look, I do what I can.
And sure, if saving someone's life
makes their day just
a little bit brighter,
then it's all worth it.
Do I like being a doctor?
I used to.
Till I figured out patients
are just like beat-up old cars.
You fix them up, you get them running,
then another car conks out.
I'm just a glorified mechanic.
Right, so you are going
to be ranking nurse,
but if anything comes
up that you can't handle,
you can call me.
I'll be fine.
If I don't answer, this is
the number for the school.
And if they don't pick up,
this is the number for
the bar next to the school.
And can you also check
in on Mrs. Thune
Dude, I got this.
Go watch your kids
murder some ABBA songs.
- Go.
- You're right.
You're right.
Hey, Stella?
You're gonna twist that line.
She's gonna twist that line.
- Just don't look. Look away, please.
- OK, you know what?
I'm just going to do
it. I'll just do it.
Hi. I got it. [CHUCKLES]
Controlling?
No, I haven't heard that before.
I mean, this is not the type of job,
you know, where if you mess
up, it's like, "Oh, gosh,
we lost the big account," you know?
This is like, if you mess up, it's
we took out the wrong organ, you know?
So you don't have to do things my way,
but you do have to
do them the right way.
Which is, you know, how I do them.
[CHUCKLES] So.
OK, so I figure if we set
it up against the south wall,
we'll get that beautiful
afternoon light.
But feng shui-wise,
if we put it over here,
it might be a better flow.
What do you think?
Uh, how about in the
corner by the outlet?
[WHISPERS] Yes.
Hey, Dr. Joyce Henderson,
why does a small, regional hospital
need a $300,000 Bravo-Genesis
3D mammography machine?
That sounds like a lot of money.
Well, I think women are worth it.
Also, if you're trying to become
a destination medical facility,
you need an area where you
can outshine your competitors,
and our area is going
to be the breast area.
Women from as far away as Idaho
are going to come to
St. Denis because
[GASPS] [BLEEP]
we have the best
breast test in the West.
Best breast test in the you guys.
St. Denis, the best
breast test in the West.
What do you think?
- Sure.
- Yes!
[LAUGHS] I handle most of our PR.
I know charting sucks,
and we all hate it,
but you know, it's
really important to get
Excuse me. Are you new here?
Because you look just like one
of our nurses who left at 4:00.
Ha, ha. Very funny.
I'm leaving now. I'm just hitting save.
Before I upload the software,
are you sure you have the bandwidth?
We usually install these
at bigger hospitals.
[SCOFF] Well, newsflash,
we are just as good as any of
those bigger hospitals, so
[POPS LIPS] Full speed ahead.
So you're running over a thousand megs?
Hmm. [CHUCKLES]
Great. OK.
[COMPUTER BEEPS]
- Whoa, whoa.
- Oh, no.
I think the whole system just went down.
- [PHONE RINGING]
- Did we just lose everything?
It's all right. Don't panic.
I can still save this.
It's kind of what I do.
Here we go. All right, come on.
Stay with me.
[SOBBING] Stay with me.
[LAUGHING] I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
It's dead. It's gone.
We need to call the
IT guy. Can somebody
Go now.
Ron, I can't go now.
This doesn't have to be your problem.
If you leave now, it won't be.
Big problem. Big, big problem.
[CHUCKLES] We thrive in these moments.
Alex, you look like how I feel.
Come on, baby. I need you. Let's go!
And you missed it.
Come on! Now! Now! Now!
Again, I don't know why
the system went down,
but IT is on the case
and they're going to get everything
up and running in no time, all right?
What are the nurses supposed
to do in the meantime?
All the patient information's
on the computers.
You're going to have
to practice medicine
the way they did before
computers were invented, OK?
Ron, you know about that, right?
Yeah, we used to drill
holes in patients' heads
to release evil spirits,
but hey, that's the '80s for you.
[LAUGHS]
Uh, who's the schmuck?
Oh, sorry. I'm Matthew, everybody.
I'm I'm the new
is schmuck floor nurse?
- Oh, boy.
- I'm the new schmuck.
[CHUCKLES]
They didn't they didn't
have my size scrubs, but
Joyce, our computers are too old, OK?
They need to be
replaced, not just fixed.
Look, we just don't
have the money right now
for a whole new computer system.
But we have money in the budget
for your fancy 3D mammography machine?
- [OVERLAPPING CLAMORING]
- OK.
OK, I was an oncologist for 20 years.
But now that I'm a
hospital administrator,
I'm battling different kinds of cancers
like cynicism, pessimism,
people questioning my judgment
because they think I'm spending
money on things we don't need.
Those attitudes are the real cancers.
St. Denis Regional Medical! ♪
St. Denis Regional Medical!
- No!
- [ALL SHOUT IN PANIC]
All right! Let's get out
there and heal some people!
Come on! Let's go!
OK, guys, listen up.
We need to rebuild our
entire record system by hand.
And we have to go fast.
She's missing her kids'
childhoods for this.
Not missing their childhoods.
I'm just going to be a little bit late.
That's it.
OK, Carla, I need you to take
vitals and start a paper trail.
Janice, get written
scripts from all of the MDs.
Uh, Alex, I
I checked in with all the
patients like you asked.
Great.
And Mr. Lasky wants
morphine, oxy, and Vicodin.
He asked if we had a menu
and I said I didn't think so.
OK. I will check in with
Mr. Lasky. Thank you.
All right. Well, I'm around.
Let me know if you need anything.
- OK.
- Nice.
- Wow. He dumb.
- [LOUD METALLIC CLATTERING]
Sorry, just adjusting this.
Correct height.
No, Ron, I'm just saying that
in the future, I would appreciate it
if you didn't disrespect me
in front of the entire staff.
You want to talk disrespect?
How about all these people
here working their asses off
to fix this while you spent, what,
200 grand on a scanner that we don't
was it more?
It was more.
It's been hours, and your
computers are not my problem.
- Ma'am, ma'am, please
- You're my problem! You don't listen!
OK! OK.
- I hear you.
- OK.
I'm going to give you
the number for the person
- who can help you, all right?
- Thank you.
Mm-hmm. All right.
That's the White House. Ask for Joe.
Tell him there's a nursing shortage
and we need him to fix
the health care system.
- Next!
- Oh, [BLEEP].
All right, we don't have
time to redo a whole intake.
Fever, aches. He probably has the flu.
Give him liquids and a PCR.
Unless uh, forgive
me, Ron, but things
- aren't always what they seem.
- [SIGHS]
Have you visited the Congo
in the last 48 to 72 hours?
It's all right, sir. You can ignore him.
Congo? No.
That's fine. Any African
countries that border the Congo?
Surgeons, I mean, the good ones,
at least, we're not just doctors.
[CHUCKLES] Good lord, no.
No, we're detectives.
We're Sherlock Holmes-es.
The body's been attacked.
Who done it? [CHUCKLES]
[NORMALLY] Or, you know, what done it?
Who done it? What done it?
What done it? Yeah.
Babe, are you coming?
I'm so sorry, honey.
I'm I'm I'm trying.
It's just it's a disaster here.
No, listen.
The girl playing the lead got sick,
and Ella's the understudy,
so she's Donna.
Oh, my God. She's fricking Donna?
She's Donna! Rick, she's Donna.
Yeah. So are you going to make it?
What? Yes. Tell her that I'm coming.
I'm going to leave in two minutes, OK?
OK.
She's she's Donna.
In "Mamma Mia."
[CHUCKLES]
I never knew I was allergic to avocados.
Yeah, they're silent killers.
OK, I got the EpiPen.
Great. Uh, he's going
to give you the shot.
You you want me to
um, not a problem, uh,
because I am a nurse.
So, uh, OK.
I've done a lot of these before,
usually with someone
supervising, but that's fine.
It's just a quick stab.
Oh, sorry. [GROANS]
[CHUCKLES]
Take two. Here we go.
Just quick stab in the leg, all right?
Three, two, one, stick!
OK, wrong side. Got myself.
That's intense, huh?
- You OK?
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]
I feel like I need
to go to the hospital.
[GROANS]
So we just need your
autograph right at the bottom,
and we can process payment.
- Oh, how exciting.
- [CHUCKLES]
Uh
are you sure that this is the
most cutting-edge technology?
Because I'm going to be mad
if I wake up in the morning
and they've come up
with something better
that makes this obsolete, you know?
Like iPhone. Oh, now
there's Max Pro, OK.
This is the best there is.
Great, 'cause I want the best.
- Right.
- The best.
For St. Denis.
[CHUCKLES]
- Wait a minute. Is that a scuff I see?
- What?
All right, I am headed out,
but I want records copied and
distributed to every station
and folders on every door.
Thank you, guys. Go, go.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I'm leaving.
You keep saying that,
but you're still here.
This time, I really am leaving.
And you're just going to
get sucked right back in.
[SING-SONGY] I'm not.
Your life, your choice.
Oh, my choice?
I'm only here because the
computers went down, Ron.
I mean, I had to stay.
You had to stay because
there's a big emergency
here in the emergency room?
Wh what do you want from me?
I mean, you want me to bail the
second that my shift is over?
I'm sorry that I care.
- You want to know what I think?
- No, I do not.
I think you're a
workaholic control freak,
and you're afraid that if you
do go and nothing bad happens,
that just means you're not as
important as you think you are.
[SCOFFS]
Well, I'm only here now because
you're giving me crap about not leaving.
- Then go.
- [CHUCKLING] I'm going.
Enjoy your evening.
I don't care. It's her life.
I just don't want her
to be one of those people
that works so hard
she winds up divorced,
alone, living in a condo
in the middle of Oregon.
Her one joy of the day
is a free milkshake.
Speaking of which,
where is my Postmates?
Mile away.
Randall's got 4 1/2
stars. I think we're good.
Come on, Randall!
[GASPS] My heart's beating so fast.
You think it's possible for somebody's
heart to beat, like, too fast?
- I mean, yeah.
- Huh?
Hey, Alex, I I I stabbed myself
Not my problem, newbie.
I'm on my way out.
- Alex, you have to hear this.
- Nope! La, la, la!
"Mamma Mia." You know what?
Talk to Ron. He'll love it.
Because I feel [GRUNTS]
It's going to be tight,
but I'm going to make it.
[CHUCKLES]
I mean, I love this job,
but it is just a job, you know?
You've got to have boundaries.
I'm always saying that.
I'm always telling my
nurses that you have
Ma'am, are you OK?
I will be when I can find a
hospital that doesn't suck.
OK, wh
you know, if you're having trouble,
you really shouldn't leave.
Terrific.
[ENGINE TURNS OVER]
[SOFTLY] She's at a
hospital. She'll be fine.
Ma'am, are you sure you're OK?
[MOANING]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
OK. Ma'am, I'm coming.
- OK, 1A.
- Yep.
Matt, get the door.
- Yep.
- She's unresponsive.
Her breathing's really shallow.
I'll start IV. Wide open.
Get her on the monitor right away.
- Yep.
- We need some doctors in here.
- Call Code Blue respiratory.
- Uh, yep. Uh
How are we doing?
Uh, Code Blue!
I uh Code Blue!
Starting compressions.
Code Blue in here!
Matt, use the intercom!
- Got it, got it.
- [RAPID BEEPING]
Is there a button I'm
supposed to push or something?
I've never used one of these before.
Hurry up!
OK, uh, I'm just going
to press this button.
[LINE CLICKS OFF]
Code Blue, I repeat, Code Blue!
Report to the trauma room.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
I need a doctor urgently!
Phew. Cavalry's on the way, guys.
Ma'am, ma'am, you
really need to sign this.
OK, yes, I know.
I'm just, you know,
considering all sides
- and
- [RAPID BEEPING]
Oh, no. What's going on?
Where are the doctors?
- On it.
- On three. One, two
- Oh, I already, uh
- Code Blue.
We've got a Code Blue in Trauma 1A.
I think you need to press that button.
I understand how to do this.
- Then they're not going to be able to
- So where are we?
She she fell and
What's happened?
Collapsed in the parking
lot. Shallow breathing.
Hypoxic. 83%. We lost her pulse.
Uh, she was in the waiting room.
She said her, uh, leg hurts.
Sounds like DVT turned pulmonary.
Let's get some heparin in here.
She sounds like a smoker.
Could be pneumothorax.
It's an embolism, Bruce.
I think it's both.
All right, let's get her stabilized.
We'll do a CT scan. Prep a tube.
Give me Eminase too.
- Calling for Eminase.
- I'll get the bag.
I want epi, 1 milligram.
- Right here, coming in.
- Where's that Eminase?
All right, go ahead
and prep 300 milligrams.
So a blood clot in her leg
triggered a pulmonary embolism,
and that in turn caused
her lung to collapse.
Which is pretty rare, but it happens.
Yeah. I saw a couple during COVID.
We were at war.
Colleagues became brothers.
OK, I think we're good here.
[SIREN WHOOPS]
Leaving only in order
to become an animal.
- A life is saved.
- Hey, you OK?
Yeah, I just, uh, kind of
feel like I choked in there.
What? [SCOFFS]
It's fine. You did great in there.
Don't beat yourself up.
You stepped up.
Oh.
Uh, yeah, thanks.
It was nothing, really, you know?
Nurses got to
got to nurse, right? [CHUCKLES]
Right.
Got to admit, I was
starting to feel like
maybe nursing wasn't for me,
but, uh, then I kind of realized
we're like the Avengers, you know?
Like like, Bruce is Iron Man
and Alex is Captain America
and Dr. Ron is Professor X.
And then there's me,
Guy Who Knows How To
Work a Breathing Bag Man.
Also
[WHISPERING] Might have
met the girl of my dreams!
So yeah, I, uh, I think
I'm in the right place.
He's definitely getting fired.
He's so, so bad.
- [ENGINE SPUTTERING]
- Come on.
Come on.
[SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES SADLY]
[SOMBER MUSIC]
[SIGHS] OK. OK.
This is fine.
♪
Hey.
Sir, I am not in the mood to be
assaulted by a stranger right now.
They told me that you're
the one that saved my Lori.
Oh, your wife, yes.
[SOBBING] My wife!
[PERSON SOBBING]
[SLOW PIANO MUSIC]
♪
Thank you.
♪
That's got to feel good.
[SOFT UPBEAT MUSIC]
Hazelnut.
[CHUCKLES]
The fridge was full, so
I put it in the cooler
- with a kidney, but who cares?
- [SIGHS]
Well, you called it.
Come on.
I'll grab some jumper cables.
It's a good milkshake.
Told you.
What makes a hospital great?
Is it the quality of the staff?
The number of lives saved?
The level of mammographal technology?
Sure. Absolutely, it is.
But running St. Denis,
oh, it is a balancing act.
- [BLEEP].
- [LAUGHS]
We have so much potential,
so much untapped greatness.
And it is my job to tap it.
Tap it till it's dry.
[CHUCKLES] Gonna do "Dancing Queen."
Look at her hair!
- [LAUGHS]
- Ooh, very nice!
But we have needs.
Needs that, uh,
I can't ignore even if I wanted to.
Like a vacuum, the needs.
And they're loud.
And they suck.
They suck, and they suck.
It's my job to tap
faster than they suck,
- or else
- [PHONE VIBRATING]
- [UPBEAT MUSIC STOPS]
- Oh.
10% restocking fee for the boob scanner?
Oh, [BLEEP].
[BELL RINGS]