Star vs. the Forces of Evil (2015) s01e01 Episode Script

1 [title music plays.]
It's gonna get a little weird Gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension It's gonna get a little weird Gonna have a good time! I ain't from round here I'm from another Whoo-hoo! Yea-ah! I'm talking rainbows I'm talking puppies Puh-puh-puh-puh-puh -puh-puh-pu-uuhh! It's gonna get a little weird gonna get a little wild I ain't from round here I'm from another dimension! STAR: Far, far away in a magical land called Mewni, lived a princess Star Butterfly.
I'm fine! Some people have called me reckless and irresponsible just because [growls.]
I fight monsters and tame wild unicorns Yee-ha! I like to have fun.
And I'm about to have a whole lot more because today is my 14th birthday! And according to tradition, my mom, the Queen, has to bestow upon me our greatest family heirloom the Royal Magic Wand! [hoof beats approach.]
[all screaming.]
[panting.]
Now, Star.
This wand is a big responsibility.
- Yeah! - If it falls into the hands of Evil Forces, the universe could be destroyed! [laughs.]
[gasps.]
Don't worry, Mom, I can handle it.
[screaming.]
BOTH: She can't handle it.
No! [sobbing.]
I can be good! Please! Don't send me to Saint Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses! [screams.]
Sweetheart, we're not sending you there.
- Oh! - Yet.
We're sending you to train in a safer dimension, - a place called Earth.
- Earth? Manfred, open the portal.
[sighs.]
Goodbye, Mewni.
[evil laughter.]
[roars.]
So you say you're from another dimension.
And you said there was no magic on Earth.
Yeah this isn't gonna work.
[cash register dings.]
She is gonna love it here! She's going to need a guide.
MAN: [on PA.]
Marco Diaz to the principal's office.
Marco Diaz to the principal's office.
Ooh, looks like someone's in trouble.
So I guess everyone who voted me Safest Kid must be feeling pretty embarrassed right about now.
- Do I need a hall pass? - Would you just go already?! Marco! I want you to meet our new foreign exchange student Star Butterfly! [gasps, growls.]
- Huh? - I need a responsible never-take-chances type to keep an eye on her, and who better than you? The safe kid! What?! No, no, no, I'm completely wrong for this.
- I'm a misunderstood bad boy! - You're adorable! Now I'm off to the ice cream shop.
Daddy's getting all 52 flavors! Huh.
[growling.]
Thanks for showing me around, Safe Kid.
What? No.
Whatever you heard about me isn't true.
Hi! I don't know where people get the idea I'm so safe! Oh, watch your step.
Loose tile.
It's ridiculous! Careful.
You wear a helmet in the gym shower one time and you're labeled for life.
Oh, broken glass.
Frankly, I like taking risks and would welcome a little danger in my life [screeches.]
[screams.]
- What the heck was that?! - Oops I thought you wanted a little "danger.
" Who are you? [sing-songy.]
I'm a magical princess from another dimension.
[creatures screaming.]
Well, that brings us to the end of our tour.
- I'm going home now.
- Bye, new friend! See you tomorrow.
Bye! Bye, new friend! See you later! [laughter.]
Oh, Marco! Come meet the new foreign exchange student who's gonna be living with us! Wha.
.
Wha.
.
What?! I had no idea these were your parents! I just assumed everyone on Earth had the last name Diaz! Won't it be nice to have Star's upbeat, lively energy around the house? We could have gotten that from a litter of puppies.
I love puppies!!! [yipping.]
BOTH: Aww Oh.
Eh [chuckles.]
Well, they are really cute.
[laughs.]
Ay! My eye! [laughs.]
Marco, why don't you show Star her new room? Yay! [evil laughter.]
[croaks.]
Ludo, Master.
I've tracked down Star Butterfly.
They've hidden her in the Earth dimension, unguarded.
[evil laughter.]
Excellent work, Buff Frog.
I knew they couldn't hide that royal brat from me for long.
So the wand will be mine.
And then the universe.
And then ! Actually, the universe should do it.
I'm coming for you, Princess Butterfly.
Here's your new room.
Ow! O-kay.
I can work with this.
Sparkle Glitter Bomb Expand! - Whoa.
- Ah, that's better.
I wish I had a room like this.
- [gasps.]
You do? - Huh? Mystic Room Suck Transform! [screaming.]
Suck? Suck?! Why was the word "suck" in that spell? I don't know.
It just came out that way.
[groans.]
I'm sorry, Marco.
Uh How about a little sunshine to brighten your day? [thunder rumbles.]
Ohh I can't take this anymore! If you're moving in, I am moving out! Whoa! Ugh! - Are you okay? - Luckily the cactuses broke my fall.
- Do you need any help? - Ow! I'm fine! Just leave me alone! Uh.
Ohh.
Ahh.
Hmm.
Ahh.
Uhh.
Huhh.
Here he comes, here he comes.
Hey, brother, do me a solid.
Refill this for me! They won't let me back inside because I'm soggy! - Did you bring me my refill? - Don't make eye contact.
If you come to my house, you bring toilet paper! Whoa! Whoa! What are you doing here? I didn't get a choice about coming here to Earth, and you didn't get a choice about having to deal with me.
I'll I'll find another family to live with.
S St Star.
[growling.]
Star Butterfly! At last I've found you! Ludo! How did you know I was here? - [chuckle.]
Wouldn't you like to know? - Yes, that's why I asked.
Well, Buff Frog Hey, I don't have to tell you anything! Get her! [roaring.]
Hi-ya! [laughing.]
You can fight? It's called karate.
Karate! - You said she was unguarded.
- I don't know.
Hi-ya! Huh? Whoo-hoo! Rainbow Fist Punch! [growls.]
Haa! [horse neighing.]
You're embarrassing me.
Get up! [growls.]
Jelly Bean Hallucination Mist! Whoa.
What is happening? Hi-ya! Mega Narwhal Blast! [groaning.]
STAR: You want some of this, Ludo? No.
You see, you morons?! This is what happens when you don't work out! Your muscles are like pudding.
Come on.
Back in the portal.
Back in the portal.
- You even retreat like losers.
- I'm freakin' out! I'll get you, Star Butterf [chokes.]
That was amazing.
I was amazing.
You were amazing.
Yeah, I guess we were.
Well, I should probably go pack my bags.
Wait.
I don't want you to go.
I want you to stay with us.
Really? Hugs! Are there gonna be monsters attacking us all the time? Yeah, probably.
All right! Sounds so dangerous.
- Whoa.
Let's cross at the light.
- Okay, wild man.
MARCO: Alright, Star feast your eyes on this! Marco's Super Awesome Nachos Ooh! Triangle food.
[knocking on door.]
Yo, what up, home fries? [screaming.]
[gasps.]
Oh, my gosh! [groans.]
Flying Princess Pony Head! Oh, hello, B-Fly.
Girl, we're going out tonight.
- Are you ready to make some bad choices? - Let me just wake up Marco.
- Oh, that is not a dead person? - Not dead.
Ohh Pony Head, meet my best friend Marco Diaz.
- Your best friend? - Huh? Oh no, no, no.
On Earth.
You're my best friend on Mewni.
Marco, this is the Pony I've been telling you about.
I hate your face.
Plus, you're ugly.
[laughing.]
Just kidding.
That's a joke.
Tick-tock girl, let's par-tay.
- Yeah, Marco, let's par-tay.
- With her? Um, okay, well, I was gonna but I mean I was gonna I uh all right.
- My two besties are gonna be besties! - Sweet.
Let's go.
Bleh! STAR: [gasps.]
Dimensional scissors! Ah! Jealous.
- Wait, we're going to another dimension - Come on! [bites.]
Glitter.
She was here.
- Ahh! Whoo! - Ugh.
Huh? [party music playing.]
Where are we? STAR: The Bounce Lounge.
My favorite place to chill.
- Just stay away from the edge.
- Huh? [screams.]
Marco, photo booth.
Photo booth.
Come on! STAR: Yeah! Whoo! Now just you two.
A souvenir from the night my besties became besties.
Yay.
Listen, we are not gonna be besties.
We're not even gonna be second-besties.
Second-besties? That's not even a thing! Oh, you want to make this a thing? Look here, Earth Turd, this night is really important to me.
You mess that up, and you're gonna get the horn.
Got it? Good.
Real good.
Later! [shivers.]
Wow-whoo! Look at this! Psst.
Star, I need to talk to yooooo Star, Pony Head threatened to Whoa! [screams.]
Fall, fall, fall, fall Marco, be careful.
Pony Head just tried to shove me off this cloud! Oh, no she just gets a little wild when she dances.
Oh, yes! Oh, you like that.
You know you do.
You love it.
Well, she also threatened to skewer me in the photo booth! Yeah she can be possessive.
Pony Head, let's go to the Amethyst Arcade.
Marco will have more fun there.
No way, girl.
I'm getting my dance on.
[gasps.]
Yes, you are right, Star.
He will like the arcade better.
Let's go! [sing-songy.]
She's warming up to you.
Holy pixels.
So many videogames! Yes, I knew you would like it here.
This place is full of Squares.
[groaning.]
Look.
Lance Lance Revolution.
That's perfect.
You guys, go play.
[both growling.]
COMPUTER: Pony Head VS Earth Turd.
Hey! COMPUTER: Round one.
Joust! [neighing.]
MARCO: Hi-ya.
You're going down, Downer.
Oh, yeah? Well, your mother's a horse.
Ah, okay, and your point would be? Aw, look at you two getting along.
Eww.
Oh, I'll go get us some nice cold icicles to put on your disgusting, sweaty back.
Hey, you, Square.
Have you seen this head? - Uh-nah.
- Don't lie to me, little man.
COMPUTER: You win.
- Hah! Who's the turd now? - Still you.
I think I'm next.
But with less abusive trash talk, please.
Um, let's see, do I want the pointy one or the pointier one? - Oh, it's such a tough choice.
- Hey, Star, I'm bored.
Uh, I know this other club.
So let's bounce.
Sounds cool.
I'll go get Marco.
Oh, no, no, no, no, he went on ahead.
Um, yes, he wanted to save us a good spot in the mosh pit.
Yes, that is the course of events.
Oh, classic Marco.
Always putting friends first.
COMPUTER: Finish him! You win! Ha! Did you see that, Star? Try and beat that, Pointy Head.
Star? Pointy Head? [heavy breathing.]
[girls laughing.]
Is this not a blast or what, B-Fly? Yeah-heah! But I don't see Marco anywhere.
Pfft.
You got me, girl.
And I'm way more fun.
Uh, what are you talking about? Uh [chuckles.]
funny story, you're gonna love it.
I kind of ditched him and left him in the other dimension.
Oops.
[chuckles.]
- What?! [screams.]
- B-Fly! How could you do that to my best friend? Best friend? Last time I checked, the best friend was me.
I can have two best friends.
Unless one of them is a friend-ditching liar.
That Earth Turd means that much to you? - He's the best turd I've ever known.
- [sighs.]
Okay.
MYSTERIOUS FIGURE: For the last time, where is she?! I'm telling you, I don't know! Not talking, eh? What if I do this? Stop! That's really annoying.
There he is.
- Oh! Crystal Dagger - Wait, B-Fly! It's too dangerous, girl.
Hold out your hand.
Bleh.
- Your dimensional scissors? - I won't need them where I am going.
But, Pony Head Oh, hey, creeps, I heard you're looking to ride with a pony.
So come and get me.
[growling.]
[neighs, laughs.]
Wow! Out of the way, Squares! [video game music playing.]
ALL: Yay! - Stand back, Marco.
- No, it's okay.
My hand is free Shiny Emerald Snake Strike! - Bleech.
- Marco, stop playing around.
PONY HEAD: Okay! Whoo-hoo! I feel so alive.
Whoa! ALL: Huh? Run! Ugh.
- Back off, creeps! - Don't worry, Pony Head, we've got your back of your head.
KING PONY HEAD: Time to give it up, Cupcake.
Is that King Pony Head? [whinnying.]
- Oh.
Hello, Daddy.
- Hello, Princess.
What is he doing here? Oh, B-Fly, it's the end of the line for me.
But at least I got in one last night of fun with you, girl.
One last night? Before what? Before this: I'm going to St.
O's! Not St.
Olga's Reform School For Wayward Princesses?! [screams.]
Oh, it's true.
I did it to myself.
- I'm headed to the slammer.
- It's reform school, Cupcake, not jail.
Although admittedly it is a lot like jail.
Oh, Pony Head, you knew you'd get sent to St.
Olga's, but you still came back to save Marco.
Ah, well, you know, it's hard to say it, but he is your other bestie.
- Okay, I said it.
- Aww, come here.
BOTH: Hugs! All right, Princess, time to go.
STAR: Bye, Pony, I'm gonna miss you.
MARCO: Hey, Pony Head.
Good luck in Princess jail.
Aw.
Thanks, Earth T I mean, thank you, Marco.
But don't worry about me! No jail can hold onto me for long! [laughter.]
Ah, kids, you have 'em and then you wish they weren't around.
- Yay! My besties are besties.
- Yeah, I wouldn't go that far.
Hey, we're stuck in another dimension! [sing-songy.]
Oh, no, we're not! Bleh! - Whoa.
- Now we can go anywhere we want, - anywhere in the entire universe.
- I know just the place.
[chomping.]
I think Earth is a pretty great place That's saying something 'Cause I've been through outer space I think it suits me, it's just my style I think I'm gonna stay a little while I think that strangers are just friends You haven't met I'm blasting monsters and I never break a sweat I'm really thinking I could call this place home