Star Wars: Skeleton Crew (2024) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[gentle music playing]
[music ends]
- [freighter rattling, clanging]
- [alarm blaring]
[grunts]
[whirring]
[alarm blaring]
[tense music playing]
[multiple footsteps thudding]
[cocks blaster]
- [blasters firing]
- [dramatic music playing]
[pirates shouting]
[snarls]
[grunts]
- [device beeping]
- [grunts]
[pirates shouting indistinctly]
[both grunting]
[grunts]
[man screams]
[man] Wait!
[yells]
[growls] Captain Silvo. The ship is yours.
[Silvo] Excellent work, Brutus. Excellent.
Now, take me to the vault.
- [grunts]
- [Silvo] You've lost your ship.
Don't lose your life.
We are protected by New Republic decree--
- [pirates laughing]
- [Silvo] Open the vault.
We have no credit shipment.
This is a bulk freighter!
If this is a bulk freighter,
why is your vault magnetically sealed?
We are protected by New Republic decree.
I hereby demand all pirate scum
leave this vessel immediately!
- [pirates continue laughing]
- [Silvo laughing]
[grunts]
- Throw him out the airlock.
- [Brutus] Aye, Captain.
And open the vault!
[man] No!
No!
[Silvo] I know
these cycles have been lean.
That some of you have all
but given up on me,
your good old captain.
It's all forgotten now.
Because at long last, I've brought you
to the only thing that matters.
Cold, hard credits.
- [grunts]
- [thuds]
[growling]
[sniffs, growls]
Good men's lives lost
for a single, measly credit?
- [pirates groan]
- [blasters cocking]
[Silvo] Mutiny, then?
[all grunting]
[growling]
[boy mimicking Jedi voice]
Unhand me, you villain!
[mimicking Sith voice] Never.
You'll spend eternity in my dungeons,
being tortured until you die.
[mimicking Jedi voice] No!
[mimicking lightsaber whooshing]
[Wendle] Wim!
Wim, you're gonna be late for school.
- [groans]
- [Wendle] Don't forget your jacket!
[inhales through teeth] I didn't.
[Wendle] I can't find my passcard.
Were you playing with it again?
I told you, don't touch my work stuff.
Hey, could you please not leave your toys
out all over the house?
I keep stepping on them.
Now listen up.
I'm going to be late all week, so here.
[sighing] Oh, shoot.
All right.
Um, there should be a repair droid
coming by to look at the garage.
Are you listening to any of this?
I didn't play with your passcard.
I have a Supervisor's review,
so I'm not gonna be around much.
That is your lunch money for the week,
all right? Oh.
Okay.
Here it is.
I gotta go.
Don't be late for school.
[Wim] I won't.
[mimics explosion] Whoa! Whoa!
[mimicking spaceship whooshing]
- [frogdog barking]
- [Mrs. Ikk speaks in alien language]
Sorry, Mrs. Ikk!
[continues mimicking]
You should not have come here.
- [mimics lightsaber whirl]
- [mimics lightsaber whirl]
[both yell]
- [groans] No! My arm!
- [Neel laughs]
[groaning]
- My guts! They're everywhere!
- [yells]
- Wait, wait, wait.
- What?
I think I have something in my eye.
I think it's an eyelash maybe?
- What are you guys even doing?
- [both gasp]
- [children giggling, clamoring]
- Please remain seated
while the tram is in mo--
Hey, who did that?
- Hey, who did that? All right--
- [children laughing]
[Neel] I was so stuck
on problem number five
until, you'll never believe this,
but I totally switched
the basic table of seven and nine!
Has that ever happened to you?
Oh, boy.
I sure hope
I don't do something like that tomorrow.
That was a pain in the trunk.
[engine revving]
[Neel] Oh, yeah! On number eight,
you had to multiply these two matrices.
You remember?
- Did you just see that?
- See what?
Oh, and number eight was so complicated
[continues indistinctly]
[wistful music playing]
Students, proceed to class.
Students, proceed to class.
Students, proceed to class.
Students who are truant
will face detention.
Students who are truant
- will face detention.
- [Wim sighs]
[bell chiming]
[droid] Time for school now, students.
Enjoy another day of learning.
Don't be late.
Students who are late to class
will receive an infraction.
By substituting error-prone ledger entries
with free-floating variable tables
in which a series of matrices
are organized by a labelling algorithm.
Contrast this method with the approach
practiced in planets
outside the Barrier
- called liquidity modelling
- [computer beeping]
in which a computation
takes the place of labelling.
Here, inside the Barrier,
we take into account
the fungibility of multiple currencies
by further analyzing the potential risk
- of loss over time of any ledger.
- [woman clears throat]
And now class,
it is time for a special visitor
from the Office of the Supervisor.
Good afternoon, children.
My name is Undersecretary Fara.
[children] Hello, Undersecretary Fara.
Today I've taken time
out of my very busy schedule
to come talk about something
near and dear to my heart.
Tomorrow's Career Assessment Test.
- [whispering] Tomorrow?
- [Fara] In a way
- Shh!
- this one test
will set the course of your entire future.
Once you're assigned a career path,
you'll become part of our planet
At Attin's contribution to the Great Work.
Keeping the Republic peaceful and strong.
Students, tell the Undersecretary
how you would like
to contribute to the Great Work.
- [Roona] Oh, oh!
- Yes, Roona?
I want to be
a senior statistical accountant!
[Fara] Ah, yes.
And you.
[speaking Ithorese]
[in English]
No fair. I want to be an analyst.
Don't worry.
We need all the analysts we can get.
[smacks lips] And
[snaps fingers] you.
Well, my dad's
a Systems Coordinator but
I think I wanna really help people,
you know?
Like if there's danger or something.
That's not a career.
That's what Safety Droids are for.
[chuckles]
[Fara] Study hard, get plenty of rest.
And don't be nervous.
Remember,
we all have a place in the Great Work.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [Neel] I can't believe it.
Did you seriously not know
Assessment was tomorrow?
Why do you think
everyone's all studying all the time?
I don't know. I--
Aren't we always studying all the time?
Are you gonna fail?
'Cause I could fail too.
At least we'd still be
in the same class together.
Neel, I'm not gonna fail.
[sighs] I don't wanna get held back, Wim.
I wouldn't be in the same class
with Roona anymore.
"As Roona?"
[whispers] I like her.
But you've never even talked to her.
I'm working up to it. [sighs]
I can't believe you said you wanted
to be a Jedi when you grow up.
What? No, I didn't.
- Uh, you basically did.
- I didn't.
Um, well, basically, you did.
[sighs] Well, so what if I did? I'm--
Don't you ever want
to do anything exciting?
Like what?
- [engine roaring]
- [dramatic music playing]
[Safety Droid]
No hoverbikes on the path!
[horns honking]
- Careful!
- [hoverbike engine revving]
Whoa!
Wasn't that great?
- [engine sputtering]
- [gasps]
[powering down]
I guess we're walking.
- [can clattering]
- [somber music playing]
[Neel blows raspberry]
[Wim sighs]
All right. Well, just don't stay up
too late studying, okay?
You're gonna do great tomorrow!
I'm home!
- [Jorko] Neel! Neel!
- [Jobo] Neel's home.
[Neel] Hey, Mom! Hey, Dad!
[Neel's parents] Hey, buddy!
- Welcome home!
- [Neel] Hey, Jorko and Jobo.
- [Jobo] Hi.
- [Neel] And little baby Tuloo!
[sighs]
[sighs heavily]
[tools clattering]
[grunts]
It's no good, Fern.
This one's all corroded.
Fern?
Gotta get a new power converter.
Scrapyard's picked over.
[Bonjj Phalfa] Hey, wastoids!
Heard you had some trouble with your bike.
That's the problem with baby toys.
They break so easy.
We can still race!
Really?
Be there this weekend.
If your mommy lets you.
- Bye, losers!
- [laughs]
Maybe we should ask to postpone.
No way.
You gotta act tough.
It's the only way
to deal with jerks like that.
Who cares about racing Bonjj Phalfa?
I care.
What else fun is there to do
on this planet?
See you tomorrow.
Keep your eyes out
for a new power converter.
[Fern panting]
Hello, Fern.
Your mother is home from work early.
[softly] Crud.
Hide all this. And if she asks,
I was upstairs studying.
But you weren't upstairs studying.
- [in normal voice] Run memory override.
- [beeps]
Yes, I was. You just didn't see me.
- [trills, beeps]
- I didn't see you, Fern.
Fern, is that you?
Oh, hey, Mom.
I was just studying in my room.
[maid droid]
Yes, Fern was studying in her room.
You have anything to share with me?
Um
You got your spot back.
Head of the class!
Mom, why do you even have this?
I had to go by your school.
Just be sure not to let it slip again.
Mom.
I worry because there's not a place
for everyone at the top.
I know.
I'm just so proud of you.
[door closes]
[Wim, softly] Point zero-zero-zero-five.
[Wendle] Wim, I'm home.
Nine-six-seven.
No. Wait.
Hey, look at that. Studying for a change.
Ask me one.
Uh, what's the basic table of five?
One point six-zero-nine four?
[Wendle] Almost.
You'll get it eventually.
[sighs] I don't think I can sleep.
Will you please read me a story
like Mom used to?
Uh, sorry, buddy. I gotta work.
Bedtime stories?
Aren't you getting
a little bit old for that?
Love you.
[door whirs, closes]
Love you.
[breathes deeply]
[vehicle passes by]
[grunts softly, sighs]
[captivating music playing]
[shouting] Wim!
[shouting] No! Wait!
Stop the tram!
I overslept!
You can make it!
I'm gonna take a shortcut!
A what?
A shortcut!
[dramatic music playing]
[engine revving]
[barking]
[grunting]
With eyes on your own desk
until Assessment is complete.
If you skip a section,
you will not be able to repeat it.
No unauthorized datapads
or comlinks are allowed
during any of the testing sections.
If you must use the refresher,
remain seated and utilize
your desk controls.
If you finish a section early,
wait silently
- for the next section to begin.
- [sighing] Where are you, Wim?
Any questions?
Uh, what if, say, someone missed
their tram so they're taking a shortcut,
- and--
- Sit down, student.
The test will begin shortly.
- Sit.
- [sighs]
[dramatic music continues playing]
[exclaiming]
[straining]
[grunting]
- [yelps]
- [brakes screech]
No!
[grunting]
[panting]
[wind whistling]
- Help!
- [squawking]
[grunts]
[coughs]
[suspenseful music playing]
- [Safety Droid] Student
- Whoa!
you are in violation
of school attendance protocols.
- Come with me.
- Okay.
Uh How?
[storypad clicking]
How much longer?
The Proctor will see you shortly.
[storypad clicking]
[footsteps approaching]
What are you in for?
[sighs] I missed my Assessment.
What are you in for?
I race bikes so the droids hate me.
I saw your bike.
It's totally wizard.
You know,
the last kid who skipped Assessment,
the Proctor took him down
to a secret chamber under the school
to make him work in the mines.
Mines?
Never saw him again.
Yeah, right.
That's so made up.
Oh! Proctor, I--
I got pulled out of a review
because you skipped your test?
- No, I didn't skip--
- What happened to your clothes?
Dad, that doesn't--
This is absolutely unacceptable,
young man.
Dad, that doesn't matter, because
I found something buried in the woods.
I think it's a lost Jedi temple like this.
[Wendle] A Jedi-- Wim!
I convinced the Proctor
to let you retake the test,
but now there's a fifty-point penalty,
which means you have
to get every answer right just to pass.
- [softly] Every answer
- So can it with this Jedi temple nonsense.
You go home, you study.
Tomorrow, I will drop you off personally.
I expect you to pass. Do you understand?
[in normal voice] Yes, sir.
I gotta get back to work.
A Jedi temple out in the woods?
What?
You said you found a Jedi temple
out in the woods.
Oh. No.
I was lying. [grunts]
I-- I better go home like my dad said.
So [breathing heavily]
[whimsical music playing]
[Wim] Tuloo! Hi.
[muffled] Where's Neel?
[grunting]
- [knocking on glass]
- [screams] Oh, my goodness!
Wim, you missed the whole test!
What happened?
Does your dad still got all those tools?
Okay, what do we got here?
If you found a real Jedi temple,
- shouldn't we tell the Supervisor?
- [sighs]
Or maybe our parents?
- Why do we have to dig it up?
- Uh [sighs]
'Cause this could be a real adventure.
No more pretend.
You didn't even ask how Assessment went.
- How did Assessment go?
- I think good!
- Okay, that's great. Let's go.
- But promise we won't get in trouble.
I promise.
Okay.
[both grunt]
[echoing] Jedi One checking in.
What should my comm sign be?
Oh, I know.
[echoing] Jedi Two checking in.
- Read you loud and clear.
- Copy.
[adventurous music playing]
I changed my mind.
You should be studying instead.
- I can help--
- I'll study after. I can do both.
Here, just hold the rope.
- Okay. Careful of rope burn.
- Right.
- Okay. Ready?
- Yeah.
Three, two
- [grunts]
- [Neel screaming]
[both grunting]
[both groan]
- Oh, man.
- [Wim] I thought you had me.
[coughs] Your bones are too heavy.
[Neel grunts]
Look. Look.
There it is.
It's probably just buried junk.
[Wim] In the middle of the woods?
Wait. Where are we?
[Wim] Wait a minute.
- Someone's been here.
- [booming voice] Trespassers.
- [screams]
- [booming voice] State your names.
- Wim.
- Neel.
[booming voice] You are in violation
of protocol.
Answer or be vaporized.
Who do you have a crush on at school?
- What?
- Roona!
[laughter echoing]
[mic feedback]
[booming voice echoing] Sorry.
Fern made me say it.
- Oops. Hang on.
- [feedback whooshes]
[in normal voice]
Sorry. She made me do that.
You.
Me.
Name's Fern.
She's KB.
And this is our find.
We're gonna strip it for parts.
This is mine.
I already claimed it.
I called un-claimsies
then claimed it for me and KB.
No boys allowed.
No calling un-claimsies
without the claimer.
Everyone on the whole planet knows that.
Fine.
Then I call un-claimsies now!
- Claimsies.
- Claimsies.
[softly] Blast it.
Thanks, KB.
They called claimsies. It checks out.
- Neel!
- And now I call no boys.
This is ours.
We came here to dig.
Oh, you can still dig.
- As our employees.
- Okay.
Neel! We don't work for them.
They don't even know what this is.
It's not a Jedi temple.
Yeah-huh, it is.
No, it's not.
See, this was supposed to be
a new neighborhood development.
Grandpa told me all about it.
Something went wrong
with the sewage substation.
Whole thing filled up with poison gas.
Didn't kill them, though,
just made them crazy.
They started to eat each other.
There was no choice.
They had to bury them alive,
trapped underground forever.
My grandpa says
if you listen really closely,
you can still hear them
banging on the doors
[softly] trying to get out.
[eerie music playing]
- [trowel clangs]
- [both scream]
- [laughing]
- [groans softly] That wasn't funny.
You are so gullible.
'Cause you're a liar.
Well, you guys do look pretty strong, though.
[scoffs] Yeah, way stronger than you.
Oh, it's too bad we're not strong enough
to dig the rest of it out.
[KB] Fern.
- We can.
- Yeah!
But if we open it,
then we get to go in and look.
Deal?
Deal.
Wim, you left the garage door open.
You'd better be studying!
Wim?
[Wim and Neel grunting]
Then when we get inside,
we recall claimsies
because they only claimed the outside.
- That's genius.
- I know.
These girls are so dumb.
[Neel] Hey, watch it!
These boys are so dumb.
You didn't have to be so mean.
They did find it.
What do you think it is?
No idea.
But I bet there's
an old power converter in there.
- [Wim] Neel, what about up here?
- [Neel] Up where?
- [object rattles]
- [Wim grunts] Whoa.
Never mind.
- What's she doing?
- [softly] Quiet.
[electronic beeping]
[trilling]
[distant rattling]
- [all gasp]
- [door clangs]
[whooshes]
[suspenseful music playing]
[Wim] Hello?
[rats squeaking]
[man, faintly] Wim!
- Wait.
- [man] Wim!
- Did you guys hear that?
- Hear what?
- [man] Wim!
- Someone's coming.
We gotta hide.
- [Wim] The bags.
- [Fern] The bike.
[Neel] Through over here!
- [all grunting]
- [Neel] Come on!
- [Wim] How do you know someone's--
- [KB] Shh!
Listen.
[Wendle] Wim?
Wim!
[breathes heavily]
Wim!
Wim!
- Is that your dad?
- Shh!
[Wendle] Wim!
You're gonna be in so much trouble!
Wait. Why?
[Fern] 'Cause his dad told him to can it
about the Jedi temple
and not come out here
and he did anyway.
You're gonna be in so much trouble.
No. Not when he sees that I'm right.
[stuttering] Wim! What are you doing?
Come on.
Wait up for me.
[Neel screams] A skeleton!
[girls panting]
It's just a droid.
A dead droid.
It looks like it died pulling this lever.
Do not touch that.
- Well, I'm not gonna pull it.
- Well, you almost did.
- Well, I'm not going to.
- [Fern] Okay, then don't.
[Wim] Well, I won't.
Just because I'm about to
- I think there's something inside.
- [Fern] How am I supposed to--
- [rat squeaks]
- [Neel and Wim screaming]
- [mechanism rattling]
- [door closing]
- [Wim] Oh, no!
- [Neel] No! No!
- No, no, no, no, no!
- [Wim] No, no, no. No.
- Help!
- [crackling]
- [beeps]
- [Neel] Someone help!
[Fern] Hey! We're in here!
- [Neel] We're in here!
- [Wim] Hey! Hey!
Help!
[grunting]
- Please help.
- [Neel grunts]
The door won't open without power.
If we follow that conduit,
we might find the power source.
[Fern] Good idea, KB.
[Wim] There's gotta be another way out.
Jedi temples have all sorts
of secret passageways.
[Fern] Just ignore him.
And don't touch anything.
[Wim] This is so great.
Great?
- Yeah, it's exciting. We're exploring.
- [Fern sighs]
[Neel] Yeah. Exploring.
Did you know that some Jedi temples
could lower down
and bury themselves in times of danger?
[sighs] Listen, all we gotta do is find
the power before we run out of air.
Where's KB?
- [Neel screams]
- The conduit goes down here.
Actually, we need to go up.
No, you need to grow up.
Neel, you're going with the girls?
I just wanna go home.
Fine.
You know what?
I don't need you guys.
[sighs] This is great.
[loudly] My own Jedi temple!
[sighing] Yep.
And I have it all to mys-- [gasps]
[in normal voice] Grow up?
You grow up.
This has gotta be it.
It's in some sort of hibernation mode.
[Neel grunting] How'd you guys get down?
So wake it up.
[Neel] Wait. Wake what up?
What are you waking up?
[grunts] Just get me outta here.
[machine whirs, dies down]
[machinery powering up]
[electronic beeping]
[machinery whirring]
[machinery whirring]
Jedi One to Jedi Two.
[over radio] I found something amazing.
But don't tell the girls.
Whatever it is, don't touch it.
[Wim] Fern? Okay, listen, I was wrong.
It isn't a temple. It's even better.
Don't touch anything. The power's up.
[over radio] We can open the hatch,
get out and get back home. Okay?
- 'Kay.
- [radio beeps]
[light beeping]
- [Fern] Wim. Hello?
- [beeping stops]
- [yelps]
- [rumbling]
[dramatic music playing]
- [KB] Fern?
- [Fern] Come on, KB. Let's go! Let's go!
[panting] Stop!
- I didn't touch anything, I swear.
- Faster. Get to the hatch.
- Okay.
- [all breathing heavily]
[Wim grunts]
[rumbling continues]
It's a starship?
Wim, look!
Dad! Dad! Up here!
- [Wendle] Wim!
- Dad! [screams]
- [Neel] No!
- [both grunting]
- Dad! Dad!
- Wim!
[Neel] Wim! Grab onto my arm!
[Wendle] Wim, you gotta hold on!
[Neel] Go!
- [screams]
- [Fern] No!
[all grunting]
[Fern] We'll pull you in!
Wim!
[starship engine powering up]
[Wendle] Wim!
[breathing heavily]
Is that the-- Barrier!
We're gonna go through the Barrier!
- We gotta turn around. Right now!
- [Wim] Okay.
[panting] Okay.
Maybe it's on autopilot.
Find a button that says "auto."
[buttons beeping]
[rumbling dies down]
[gasps] What are those?
I think they're uh, planets.
They're stars.
[Fern] I didn't know there'd be so many.
[whooshing]
[all screaming]
- [whooshes]
- [screaming echoes, fades]
[theme music playing]