Steven Universe (2013) s01e01 Episode Script
Gem Glow
We are the Crystal Gems we'll always save the day and if you think we can't we'll always find a way that's why the people of this world - # believe in # - # Garnet # - # Amethyst # - # and Pearl # And Steven! 1x01 - Gem Glow Noooooooo! This can't be happening! This has to be a dream! Lars! Lars! Please tell me I'm dreaming! Get off me, man.
I'm stocking here.
I'm sorry, Steven.
I guess they stopped making them.
Stopped making them?! Why in the world would they stop making Cookie Cats?! They're only the most scrumptious and delicious ice-cream sandwich ever made! Don't they have laws for this?! Tough bits, man.
Nobody buys them anymore.
I guess they couldn't compete with Lion Lickers.
Not Lion Lickers! Nobody likes them! They don't even look like Lions! Kids these days I'll tell you what! Well, if you miss your wimpy ice cream so much, why don't you make some with your magic belly button? That's not how it works, Lars.
Right? Oh, sweet Cookie Cats, with your crunchy cookie outside, your icy creamy insides, you were too good for this world.
Uh Steven? Do you want to take the freezer with you? Hey guys, you won't believe this! 'Sup, Steven? Awesome! What are these things? Ugh! Sorry, Steven.
We'll get these centipeetles out of your room.
We think they were trying to get into the temple.
Aw.
You don't have to get rid of them.
They're really cool.
Um, you guys? These things don't have gems.
That means there must be a mother somewhere nearby.
We should probably find it before anyone gets hurt.
Ooh! Ooh! Can I come?! Can I?! Can I?! Steven, until you learn to control the powers in your gem, we'll take care of protecting humanity, okay? Aw, man.
Hey! Get out of there! Go on! Shoo! Shoo! Aw! They got into everything! Not cool! No way.
I-It can't be! Wha Where did you get these?! I thought they stopped making them! Well, we heard that, too, and since they're your favorite We went out and stole a bunch.
I went back and paid for them.
The whole thing was my idea.
It was everyone's idea.
Not really.
All that matters is that Steven is happy.
Ahhhhh! He's a frozen treat with an all-new taste 'cause he came to this planet from outer space a refugee of an interstellar war but now he's at your local grocery store Cookie Cat he's a pet for your tummy Cookie Cat he's superduper yummy Cookie Cat he left his family behind Cookie Ca-a-a-a-a-a-t now available at Gergins off Route 109.
I can't believe you did this! I'm gonna save these forever right after I eat this one.
Hello, old friend.
Mmm! Mmm! Ooh! So good! I like to eat the ears first.
Uh, Steven.
Wha? My gem! Quick! Try and summon your weapon! I don't know how.
Aah! It's fading! How do I make it come back?! Calm down, Steven.
Breathe.
Don't force it.
Yeah.
And try not to poop yourself, either.
Please don't.
Aw! I was really close that time! Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon? Oh! I'll go first Pay attention to these petals, Steven.
The petal's dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real time, based on the physical properties of this planet.
With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem and perform your own dance! Like so.
wah! Did Pearl tell you the petal thing? Yeah.
I need to practice really hard so I can dance like a tree I think.
Listen, Steven.
All that practice stuff is no fun.
Whenever I need to summon my weapon, it just happens.
See? Didn't try at all.
Again?! So, I'm supposed to work really hard and not try at - all at the same time? - Yes.
Or you can link your mind with the energy of all existing matter, channeling the collective power of the universe through your Gem, which results in at least that's my way of doing it.
I think my best bet is to re-create what happened the last time my gem glowed.
So Garnet and Amethyst were here.
Pearl was next to the fridge.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Amethyst, I think your arms were crossed.
Okay, your majesty.
And, Pearl, your foot was like this.
I don't think it works this way, Steven.
And, Garnet uhuhyeah.
Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat.
Oh! Wait! I sang the song first.
Uh, he's a frozen treat all new tasteinterstellar warand now available at Gergins.
Aw! It was funnier last time! Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem.
Don't be silly, Steven.
Of course you are.
And you're fun to have around, even if your gem is useless.
I mean you're one of us, Steven.
We're not the Crystal Gems without you.
Yeah.
Even if I don't have powers, I've still got Cookie Cat! Mmm! So good! Steven, it's a shield! Oh! What?! I get a shield?! Oh, yeah! Great.
Oh! Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream! What's in these things? What was that? It's the mother.
Hup! Hup! Stay in the house, Steven.
No way! I'm coming, too! we could really use Steven's shield right about now.
Hey! Leave them alone! Steven! No! Cookie Cat crystal-combo powers, activate! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm.
Uh-Oh.
We need to save Steven! Can we save ourselves first? Goodbye, my friends.
Why isn't it working?! Steven! No.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! Cookie Cat, he's a pet for your tummy.
Cookie Cat, he's superduper yummy! Cookie Cat! He left his family behind! Cookie Ca-a-a-a-a-a-t! Now available nowhere.
- Yes! - Gems.
Weapons.
Let's do it.
Farewell, sweet Cookie Cats.
I'll always remember the time we spent together.
Shh.
Hush now.
- Are you crying? - Only a little! Well, I guess your powers don't come from ice cream.
Of course they don't come from ice cream.
Don't worry, Steven.
I'm sure someday you'll figure out how to activate your gem.
Yes.
In your own Steveny way.
I'm okay, guys.
I just I-I think I ate too many Cookie Cats.
1x02 - "Laser Light Cannon" Hey, Fryman! - Give me the bits! - Steven, we're closed.
- Ohh, what? - Give him the bits.
The bits! The bits! The bits! The bits! - The bits! - Okay, okay.
Take it easy on the counter, will ya? Yes! I can give you actual fries, if you want.
Just the bits, please.
Thanks.
Ahh, sunset my favorite time of day, when the sun goes down and the second sun gets bigger and bigger in the sky.
Yeah, that big, hot second su Oh, no.
What is that doing here? What is it? Aah! My bits! - This is bad.
- Look at the size of it! I had no idea these things were so big! Garnet! Pearl! We saw.
Some of us are trying to protect humanity.
- Where were you? - Eating fry bits.
Ugh.
Can I see? Whoa.
It's a giant eyeball! Awesome! Not awesome! It's a red eye! A red eye?! It's going to infect us all! That's pinkeye, Steven.
It's going to crash into Beach City and crush us, along with a bunch of oblivious, innocent people.
- We have to stop it.
- What are we going to do? The only thing powerful enough to destroy it is a Light Cannon that belonged to Rose Quartz.
My Mom? If Rose were here, this would be so easy.
I know, but she's not, and the cannon is missing.
We'll have to find another solution.
If it belonged to my Mom, I bet my Dad knows where it is.
He can help us save the day! Huh? Eh? Greg is nice, Steven, but I doubt Rose would entrust someone like him with such a powerful weapon.
Your dad is kind of a mess, Steven.
- Amethyst! - I'm just saying.
Even if she did leave it with him, he probably broke it or lost it or dropped it in the ocean by now.
True.
No way! I'm sure he's just keeping it somewhere safe.
I'll go ask him.
We can handle this, Steven.
Ready? Uh, I'm gonna go.
Okay, good luck.
Dad, it's me! Dad? Are you in there? Wake up! We have to save the world! Dad! Who's there?! I have a waffle iron! Dad, it's me! Steven? I almost waffled your face! What are you doing up so late? What do you mean? The sun just went down an hour ago.
It was a slow day at the car wash.
Anyway, what's up? Just needed to see your old man, pal around, learn some lessons about life? No! I need the Light Cannon that belonged to Mom to blow up that eyeball! - Eyeball? - That! Wait.
Is that a magical thing? The Gems told me not to get involved with magic stuff.
It it could be dangerous or interfere with what's left of my hair.
But they need Mom's cannon.
You've got to know where it is! Like a cave dungeon or a cloud fortress or in a clam at the bottom of the ocean.
Well, I don't know about all that, but I have an idea where it might be.
A magical storage unit! Huh.
Not exactly.
But some would say there's magic inside.
It's just a shed I use to keep things that don't fit in the van.
If it's anywhere it'll be in here.
If I'm going in there, I'm gonna need some gear.
- Here I go! - Good luck.
Whoa! Cool! It's like a Dad museum! Huh? There it is! Whoa! Ugh! Do you golf? Ah, I like to think of myself as someone who would golf eventually.
Hmm? Yes! A drum.
No.
No.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Is this? "Buy T-shirt Cannons"? Hey, there's a bunch of copies of your old CD! Huh.
Oh, man.
I couldn't give those things away.
You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country.
I know, Dad.
When I came to play a concert here in Beach City, no one - showed up except - An alligator! - No, it was your mother.
- I know.
And we were always together after that, until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world.
I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain, old dope like me.
Uh, Dad? I broke a photo.
It's okay, buddy.
If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
Huh? The Light Cannon! Oh, boy.
That thing's giving me the willies.
Dad, I found it! - Really? - Get the van! This thing could save the city! - We've got to get it to the beach! - How? It's too big for the van.
Easy does it.
Is it gonna be okay? Mm.
If every pork chop were perfect We wouldn't have hot dogs! That thing's getting huge.
It's freaking me out.
Can't the van go any faster? - This is faster! - Don't worry.
Come on.
Let's put on your CD.
What? Really? Uh, come on, you've heard it.
You come on.
# I know I'm not that tall # I know I'm not that smart, but Let me drive my van into your heart let me drive my van into your heart I know I'm not that rich I'm trying to get my start so, let me drive my van into your heart let me drive my van into your heart and if we look out of place well, baby, that's okay I'll drive us into outer space Throw me again.
I think I'm cracking it! - His dad? - Hey, guys! - He really had it.
- We're saved! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Easy! We have to use it now.
I don't know how it works! It was Rose's! - Dad, how do we use it? - Mm.
Steven, this is serious.
The Gem! - You have Rose's gem! - That's it! Ugh! Come on! - Stop that.
- It's no use.
Fine! Forget it! Throw me again! That's not going to work! Whoa! I got this.
No! Wait! No, maybe I don't! Please work.
Unlock.
Activate.
Go.
Please? Everyone's counting on you! You can't just be useless! - I know you can help! - It's okay, Steven! We'll figure out something else, something even better! R-right! If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
It's working! Steven! - This is it! - Brace yourselves! Steven, you just saved most of Beach City! Sorry about that! What?! How did you get it to work? I just said that thing that Dad always says.
- That thing about pork rinds? - Hot dogs.
Rose.
- My van! - It's okay, Dad.
- If every pork chop were perfect - I live in there! - Wait up! Geez! - My keys! - Whoa! - Wait! Wait! Oh, geez.
I'm stocking here.
I'm sorry, Steven.
I guess they stopped making them.
Stopped making them?! Why in the world would they stop making Cookie Cats?! They're only the most scrumptious and delicious ice-cream sandwich ever made! Don't they have laws for this?! Tough bits, man.
Nobody buys them anymore.
I guess they couldn't compete with Lion Lickers.
Not Lion Lickers! Nobody likes them! They don't even look like Lions! Kids these days I'll tell you what! Well, if you miss your wimpy ice cream so much, why don't you make some with your magic belly button? That's not how it works, Lars.
Right? Oh, sweet Cookie Cats, with your crunchy cookie outside, your icy creamy insides, you were too good for this world.
Uh Steven? Do you want to take the freezer with you? Hey guys, you won't believe this! 'Sup, Steven? Awesome! What are these things? Ugh! Sorry, Steven.
We'll get these centipeetles out of your room.
We think they were trying to get into the temple.
Aw.
You don't have to get rid of them.
They're really cool.
Um, you guys? These things don't have gems.
That means there must be a mother somewhere nearby.
We should probably find it before anyone gets hurt.
Ooh! Ooh! Can I come?! Can I?! Can I?! Steven, until you learn to control the powers in your gem, we'll take care of protecting humanity, okay? Aw, man.
Hey! Get out of there! Go on! Shoo! Shoo! Aw! They got into everything! Not cool! No way.
I-It can't be! Wha Where did you get these?! I thought they stopped making them! Well, we heard that, too, and since they're your favorite We went out and stole a bunch.
I went back and paid for them.
The whole thing was my idea.
It was everyone's idea.
Not really.
All that matters is that Steven is happy.
Ahhhhh! He's a frozen treat with an all-new taste 'cause he came to this planet from outer space a refugee of an interstellar war but now he's at your local grocery store Cookie Cat he's a pet for your tummy Cookie Cat he's superduper yummy Cookie Cat he left his family behind Cookie Ca-a-a-a-a-a-t now available at Gergins off Route 109.
I can't believe you did this! I'm gonna save these forever right after I eat this one.
Hello, old friend.
Mmm! Mmm! Ooh! So good! I like to eat the ears first.
Uh, Steven.
Wha? My gem! Quick! Try and summon your weapon! I don't know how.
Aah! It's fading! How do I make it come back?! Calm down, Steven.
Breathe.
Don't force it.
Yeah.
And try not to poop yourself, either.
Please don't.
Aw! I was really close that time! Can one of you just explain how to summon a weapon? Oh! I'll go first Pay attention to these petals, Steven.
The petal's dance seems improvised, but it is being calculated in real time, based on the physical properties of this planet.
With hard work and dedication, you can master the magical properties of your gem and perform your own dance! Like so.
wah! Did Pearl tell you the petal thing? Yeah.
I need to practice really hard so I can dance like a tree I think.
Listen, Steven.
All that practice stuff is no fun.
Whenever I need to summon my weapon, it just happens.
See? Didn't try at all.
Again?! So, I'm supposed to work really hard and not try at - all at the same time? - Yes.
Or you can link your mind with the energy of all existing matter, channeling the collective power of the universe through your Gem, which results in at least that's my way of doing it.
I think my best bet is to re-create what happened the last time my gem glowed.
So Garnet and Amethyst were here.
Pearl was next to the fridge.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Amethyst, I think your arms were crossed.
Okay, your majesty.
And, Pearl, your foot was like this.
I don't think it works this way, Steven.
And, Garnet uhuhyeah.
Then I took a bite of this Cookie Cat.
Oh! Wait! I sang the song first.
Uh, he's a frozen treat all new tasteinterstellar warand now available at Gergins.
Aw! It was funnier last time! Maybe I'm not a real Crystal Gem.
Don't be silly, Steven.
Of course you are.
And you're fun to have around, even if your gem is useless.
I mean you're one of us, Steven.
We're not the Crystal Gems without you.
Yeah.
Even if I don't have powers, I've still got Cookie Cat! Mmm! So good! Steven, it's a shield! Oh! What?! I get a shield?! Oh, yeah! Great.
Oh! Cookie Cat! I summon my weapon by eating ice cream! What's in these things? What was that? It's the mother.
Hup! Hup! Stay in the house, Steven.
No way! I'm coming, too! we could really use Steven's shield right about now.
Hey! Leave them alone! Steven! No! Cookie Cat crystal-combo powers, activate! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm! Mmm.
Uh-Oh.
We need to save Steven! Can we save ourselves first? Goodbye, my friends.
Why isn't it working?! Steven! No.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no! Cookie Cat, he's a pet for your tummy.
Cookie Cat, he's superduper yummy! Cookie Cat! He left his family behind! Cookie Ca-a-a-a-a-a-t! Now available nowhere.
- Yes! - Gems.
Weapons.
Let's do it.
Farewell, sweet Cookie Cats.
I'll always remember the time we spent together.
Shh.
Hush now.
- Are you crying? - Only a little! Well, I guess your powers don't come from ice cream.
Of course they don't come from ice cream.
Don't worry, Steven.
I'm sure someday you'll figure out how to activate your gem.
Yes.
In your own Steveny way.
I'm okay, guys.
I just I-I think I ate too many Cookie Cats.
1x02 - "Laser Light Cannon" Hey, Fryman! - Give me the bits! - Steven, we're closed.
- Ohh, what? - Give him the bits.
The bits! The bits! The bits! The bits! - The bits! - Okay, okay.
Take it easy on the counter, will ya? Yes! I can give you actual fries, if you want.
Just the bits, please.
Thanks.
Ahh, sunset my favorite time of day, when the sun goes down and the second sun gets bigger and bigger in the sky.
Yeah, that big, hot second su Oh, no.
What is that doing here? What is it? Aah! My bits! - This is bad.
- Look at the size of it! I had no idea these things were so big! Garnet! Pearl! We saw.
Some of us are trying to protect humanity.
- Where were you? - Eating fry bits.
Ugh.
Can I see? Whoa.
It's a giant eyeball! Awesome! Not awesome! It's a red eye! A red eye?! It's going to infect us all! That's pinkeye, Steven.
It's going to crash into Beach City and crush us, along with a bunch of oblivious, innocent people.
- We have to stop it.
- What are we going to do? The only thing powerful enough to destroy it is a Light Cannon that belonged to Rose Quartz.
My Mom? If Rose were here, this would be so easy.
I know, but she's not, and the cannon is missing.
We'll have to find another solution.
If it belonged to my Mom, I bet my Dad knows where it is.
He can help us save the day! Huh? Eh? Greg is nice, Steven, but I doubt Rose would entrust someone like him with such a powerful weapon.
Your dad is kind of a mess, Steven.
- Amethyst! - I'm just saying.
Even if she did leave it with him, he probably broke it or lost it or dropped it in the ocean by now.
True.
No way! I'm sure he's just keeping it somewhere safe.
I'll go ask him.
We can handle this, Steven.
Ready? Uh, I'm gonna go.
Okay, good luck.
Dad, it's me! Dad? Are you in there? Wake up! We have to save the world! Dad! Who's there?! I have a waffle iron! Dad, it's me! Steven? I almost waffled your face! What are you doing up so late? What do you mean? The sun just went down an hour ago.
It was a slow day at the car wash.
Anyway, what's up? Just needed to see your old man, pal around, learn some lessons about life? No! I need the Light Cannon that belonged to Mom to blow up that eyeball! - Eyeball? - That! Wait.
Is that a magical thing? The Gems told me not to get involved with magic stuff.
It it could be dangerous or interfere with what's left of my hair.
But they need Mom's cannon.
You've got to know where it is! Like a cave dungeon or a cloud fortress or in a clam at the bottom of the ocean.
Well, I don't know about all that, but I have an idea where it might be.
A magical storage unit! Huh.
Not exactly.
But some would say there's magic inside.
It's just a shed I use to keep things that don't fit in the van.
If it's anywhere it'll be in here.
If I'm going in there, I'm gonna need some gear.
- Here I go! - Good luck.
Whoa! Cool! It's like a Dad museum! Huh? There it is! Whoa! Ugh! Do you golf? Ah, I like to think of myself as someone who would golf eventually.
Hmm? Yes! A drum.
No.
No.
Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! Is this? "Buy T-shirt Cannons"? Hey, there's a bunch of copies of your old CD! Huh.
Oh, man.
I couldn't give those things away.
You know, before I ran the car wash, when I was a one-man band, I traveled the whole country.
I know, Dad.
When I came to play a concert here in Beach City, no one - showed up except - An alligator! - No, it was your mother.
- I know.
And we were always together after that, until she gave up her physical form to bring you into the world.
I don't know what a magic lady like her ever saw in a plain, old dope like me.
Uh, Dad? I broke a photo.
It's okay, buddy.
If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
Huh? The Light Cannon! Oh, boy.
That thing's giving me the willies.
Dad, I found it! - Really? - Get the van! This thing could save the city! - We've got to get it to the beach! - How? It's too big for the van.
Easy does it.
Is it gonna be okay? Mm.
If every pork chop were perfect We wouldn't have hot dogs! That thing's getting huge.
It's freaking me out.
Can't the van go any faster? - This is faster! - Don't worry.
Come on.
Let's put on your CD.
What? Really? Uh, come on, you've heard it.
You come on.
# I know I'm not that tall # I know I'm not that smart, but Let me drive my van into your heart let me drive my van into your heart I know I'm not that rich I'm trying to get my start so, let me drive my van into your heart let me drive my van into your heart and if we look out of place well, baby, that's okay I'll drive us into outer space Throw me again.
I think I'm cracking it! - His dad? - Hey, guys! - He really had it.
- We're saved! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Easy! We have to use it now.
I don't know how it works! It was Rose's! - Dad, how do we use it? - Mm.
Steven, this is serious.
The Gem! - You have Rose's gem! - That's it! Ugh! Come on! - Stop that.
- It's no use.
Fine! Forget it! Throw me again! That's not going to work! Whoa! I got this.
No! Wait! No, maybe I don't! Please work.
Unlock.
Activate.
Go.
Please? Everyone's counting on you! You can't just be useless! - I know you can help! - It's okay, Steven! We'll figure out something else, something even better! R-right! If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs.
It's working! Steven! - This is it! - Brace yourselves! Steven, you just saved most of Beach City! Sorry about that! What?! How did you get it to work? I just said that thing that Dad always says.
- That thing about pork rinds? - Hot dogs.
Rose.
- My van! - It's okay, Dad.
- If every pork chop were perfect - I live in there! - Wait up! Geez! - My keys! - Whoa! - Wait! Wait! Oh, geez.