Succession (2018) s01e01 Episode Script

1 (SNORING) (GRUNTING) (GRUNTS) (PANTING) - (CLATTER) - (GRUNTS) Where am I? Where the fuck am I? (CLATTER) Jesus.
(BREATHING HEAVILY) (URINATING) WOMAN: Logan? Logan? Logan, where are you? - Logan! - Oh, fuck.
Where am I? It's okay.
We're in the new place.
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) Mm! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten From the Battery to the top of Manhattan Asian, Middle-Eastern and Latin Black, white, New York, you make it happen Brownstones, water towers, trees, skyscrapers Prize fighters and Wall Street traders We come together on the subway cars What's that, man? - We're here, Mr.
Roy.
- This is it.
This is the day we make it happen, Fikret.
You're the man, Mr.
Roy.
You're the man.
(MUSIC PLAYING) We good? Jesus Christ.
Hey, hey, hey, buddy.
Good to see you.
So, are we ready to fuck or what? Yeah okay.
Look, I-I'm really sorry, but it looks like there's an issue.
Come on, I came all the way up here, dude.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
.
Uh, dude.
(CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) okay.
Listen, you know I love what you do, right? I'd love to keep you and your team in place, Lawrence.
I think Vaulter is the shiz.
We're the shiz? Yeah.
What's it gonna take? You want me to send a vintage Jaguar over to your house today? I'll do it.
Um, s-sure.
look, um I just think bottom line, I can deliver a lot more value for our shareholders.
I hope we haven't inconvenienced you.
I see you.
I see this.
We appreciate your interest in our little outfit, but I think that's it.
Come on.
That's it? That's not it.
What the fuck happened? Yo, hang on.
Hold up, hold up.
- You get the message? - What? I'm not letting you Neanderthals in to rape my company.
Ever.
I'm sorry? You're a bunch of bloated dinosaurs who didn't even notice the monkeys swinging by till yesterday.
Well, fuck you, daddy's boy.
Hey, come on.
Don't blow this up.
I got a track record from founding one of the most exciting new media brands in the world.
And what do you got? Track marks from shooting junk? Thanks for coming down.
It was great to meet you.
Sorry this isn't going to work out.
No, it's gonna work out.
No, it isn't.
(ELEVATOR DINGS) Take care, dude.
Fuck.
What the fuck, Frank? I How can we salvage this? You still want to pursue this? Yeah, of course I wanna pursue.
I wanna announce.
This is part of the whole thing.
This is the secret sauce.
Do we need to sweeten the offer? You wanna bump the offer another point? Do you wanna call your dad? Do I wanna call my dad? No, I don't wanna call my dad.
Do you wanna call your dad? - No.
- No? Do you wanna call your dad? Does anybody wanna call their dad? Okay, nobody wants to talk to their fucking dad.
So, we've started, so let's buy this fucking company.
I'm pushing the bid to 120.
okay? - Okay.
- (PHONE BUZZES) LOGAN: How's it going? Yeah, I'm right in the middle, Dad.
Did you close? KENDALL: Yeah, it's okay.
We're not quite closed.
I'm going to 120.
(EXHALES) So, that's good.
Uh and are we still good for the announcement? Uh-huh.
Great, 'cause obviously I'm soft floating to, like, Frank and Rava, and there's gossip getting soft floated.
By who? Uh, by the ether.
I don't know.
Hey, hey, happy birthday, you old geezer.
Look, it's exciting.
This is gonna be great for you, Dad.
Mm-hmm.
I'm excited.
(ENDS CALL) (MUSIC PLAYS) LOGAN (ON RECORDING): Waystar Royco is a family.
A family that spans four continents, 50 countries, three divisions: Entertainment, News and Resorts.
Working together to provide a net that can hold the world, or catapult it forward to the next adventure! Joining Waystar Royco, you're joining one of the most dynamic news and entertainment companies in the world.
Feel it! Okay, how's everyone feeling? - Great! - Great! Excellent! Hey.
You in the room? Okay.
Well, let's go out and give these kids the best day of their lives, huh? Feel it! - Feel it! - Feel it! (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Hi! GIRL: Hi, Doderick! Whoo ooh ooh! Woo woo woo woo woo! Hi! Good morning! It's Doderick! Whoo! It's me, Doderick! Hey, happy birthday! Don't pull on my tail! Don't hit Doderick! - (CHILDREN LAUGHING) - Hey! Quit it! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, okay.
Please get off.
Can you fuck off? Can you just get the fuck off? (GAGGING) (VOMITS) BOY: Ew! He's puking out of his eyes! (VOMITING) Protein spill.
Okay, this way, this way.
Come on.
(PHONE CHIMES) Greg? GREG: Hi, Mom.
How Are you okay? How's it going? Mom, sorry, but I sort of screwed up.
Well, not me, actually, but this kid.
Greg.
So, this kid smoked a joint in my car.
A kid.
Like this hitchhiker kid that I picked up this morning, like earlier this morning.
'Cause it was raining and I didn't want I didn't want him to get sexually assaulted? Greg.
- Before I could even say anything - What the fuck? Aggressively takes out Have you ever seen, like, so, a doobie? And the car smelled like skunk weed.
And then I guess I smelled like it.
And then they were just like, "Get all your stuff and go.
" Greg.
Did you even think for one second to tell them who you are? No, I thought I didn't wanna be an asshole or get into it all.
- Okay.
- I don't know.
Here's what you're gonna do.
You're gonna get a plane ticket to New York.
It's your Uncle Your Great-Uncle Logan's birthday, and they're having a big party.
I'll call Marcia and tell her you're coming.
It's his birthday? You're gonna go to the party.
You're gonna get him a nice gift.
And you're gonna look nice.
In a grown-up shirt and a grown-up blazer.
A blazer? FRANK: I'll let you know.
They're not gonna budge unless it gets to be a stupid number.
What's a stupid number? What's stupid? A "badillion"? I don't know.
Because 120 is stupid.
Am I wrong? 120 is a stupid number.
But it's not really a money thing right now.
WOMAN: Mr.
Roy, someone's here to see you.
- Okay.
Who's this? - Hi, Kendall Roy? Yeah, hi.
I was sent by Roman to burn some sage.
Excuse me? It's auspicious.
I'm a business alchemist.
It's a gift, from your brother.
Will it set off the smokey alarms? - Not usually.
- Not usually? Hey, hey, motherfuckers! - Roman.
- My guy? Are you saging? FRANK: Well, we're concerned about the alarms.
Ooh, right, yeah, the bad juju.
Now, I can use essential oils.
Oh, I think just fuck off, thanks.
How ya doing? Good.
Good.
Just finessing.
ROMAN: Mm.
Finessing.
Nice.
Bye.
He's good.
You okay, man? Okay? Yes, I'm okay.
Obviously.
Why would you even ask that? I don't know.
Just, you know.
Here? Man, I'm so over it.
I was a bad fit.
I was never a corporate cock-suck anyway.
Besides, I never made it this high in the fucking building! They stuck me in LA with Old Father Time right here.
We were the pool boys, right, Frank? Fuckin' banana cabana? - Good times.
- (CHUCKLES) So, what's the bid? (CLEARS THROAT) - KENDALL: What's the bid? - Mm-hmm.
KENDALL: Well What? That's commercially sensitive? I'm still on the board, man.
KENDALL: Going 125.
One-twenty-five? - What? - Fuck! What? High or low? - You're laughing.
What? - No.
(LAUGHS) - For Vaulter, right? - Yeah.
Bit of content and a brand name? Bit of content and a brand name kinda's the whole game.
- Isn't it? - Mm-hmm.
- (LAUGHS) - What are you laughing at? I don't know what I'm talking about.
You're gonna be captain of the ship soon enough.
- So I don't - Shh.
Oh, shit.
Sorry.
Fuck you, man.
Every intern on the street knows that you're stepping up.
Seriously, congrats.
I'm just so pleased to be out of here.
This place was essentially a cage to me.
I should take off.
Fuck it.
Hey, congrats, man.
- Thanks for coming by.
- Mm-hmm.
Mwah.
(GIGGLES) look at all this fuckin' bullshit! Mm, yes, mm, very serious, mm.
Love you, brother.
Good.
Right.
Just keep everything straight, okay? Good.
(MARCIA CONTINUES, INDISTINCT) (MARCIA CONTINUES INSTRUCTING WAIT STAFF) By the way, we need another setting.
Another family member is coming.
(SIGHS) - Marcy.
- What? I'm heading out, as ordered.
Great.
Till 1:00 Fine.
But in here, yeah? I don't want a fuckin' heart attack from the surprise.
And I don't want anyone in my face when I come out of the elevator.
Right.
Distance.
Have them here.
And, uh - What? - (WHISPERS) Not too loud.
Do you want me to email you the exact details of the surprise? Yeah? (BOTH LAUGH) - I'll see you later.
- Yeah.
Right.
Get your coat.
Yeah, yeah.
Richard, get him his coat.
RICHARD: Of course.
- SIOBHAN: Just double-check.
- WOMAN: okay.
When were you gonna look at that speech? I'll be back by Sunday night so I'll look at his speech with him then, okay? Okay, but his office wants the poll numbers by the preekend.
The "preekend"? What the fuck's a "preekend"? Preekend is Friday.
If he wants them by Friday, can he not say Friday? Thursday lunch through Friday afternoon is the preekend.
Oh, fine.
Get Rennie to look at the numbers.
Shiv.
This is a fuckin' disaster.
I got to strategize my gift.
What can I get him he'll love? I don't know.
My dad doesn't really like things.
He doesn't like things? No, not really.
It needs to say that "I respect you", but I'm not awed by you.
And that I I like you, "but I need you to like me before I can love you.
" So what says that? Just, look, everything that you get him will mean an equal amount of nothing, so make sure it looks like 10 to 15 grand's worth and you're good.
- Will you come in here and help me? - Yes.
Please help me.
Yes.
Get him a watch.
If we go stupid on the stock, what does a really sexy package look like? Hmm? He's probably illiquid, right? So, what, we throw in another ten million? (CHUCKLES) Might need to throw in a blow job, too.
I'll throw in a blow job.
(CHUCKLES) I'll throw in a blow job.
I'll throw in a reach-around.
Hell, I'll even cup his balls.
Dad.
FRANK: I thought you'd be in St.
Barts by now.
(CHUCKLES) - LOGAN: How's it goin'? - KENDALL: Good.
Uh, yeah.
Fine.
Good.
Uh, why are you Are we okay? Yeah, it's just some paperwork.
What, ahead of the announcement? Putting Marcy on the trust.
It's bullshit.
I, uh, I just felt like checkin' in.
Oh.
Yeah, fine.
- So this is just the trust? - Yeah.
Doesn't affect me stepping up? No, no, no, no, no.
I think I told you about it.
(PHONE RINGS) Is that Sorry, Dad, I'm kind of in the middle of Do you need Do I need to lawyer all this? It's housekeeping.
Fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Marcy's fine by me.
I mean, the others might not feel the same, but I'll deal with that.
So, I'll see you in Yeah, look, Dad, on lunch.
I really want to be with you, but the deal - Son.
- You know.
It's your call.
Just priorities.
There'll be plenty more.
Uh-oh.
Wheat.
Bye, Frank.
FRANK: All right, amigo.
I have five farms, and underneath all my farms runs a big, giant aquifer that's like an underground lake.
- That's so cool! - I have pumping rights.
That means I get to take the water.
- That's so cool! - And it's very important because someday water's gonna be more precious than gold and people are gonna kill each other to try to get that water.
Oh, hey, hey, Tom, don't, don't.
- Don't listen to him.
- Right, right, sorry.
(WHISPERS) But I'm gonna have the water.
And I'll share with you.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you? - Good.
- How are you? - Good.
You look great.
- What a beautiful color.
- Thanks.
Same.
- Thank you.
- Love that.
Thanks.
- Hi, Tom.
- Hey, Marcia, how are you? - Nice to see you.
- Nice to see you.
- How are you? - Very good.
Hey, Global Tom.
How you shaking? You still fucking shit up for us? (LAUGHS) Still cleaning up your mess, pal.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, right.
- Hey, sis.
- Hi.
Politics still boring the living shit out of you? Yeah, you know, I'm burying the bodies, counting the cash.
Look at you.
You like, you know, an actual human person.
- Well, thanks, buddy.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hi.
- Oh, what is that? Date Rape by Calvin Klein? Yeah, you wish.
"You wish"? - Mr.
Roy! - Mr.
Roy, please! Mr.
Roy.
Over here.
One shot, please.
COLIN: Say, guys, can we back off? - How 'bout a smile? - Guys, back off.
Private event.
Logan, Logan, you going today? Is that right? Is that right? - Back off, please.
- Fuck off.
- Handle that, will ya? - Just one shot! Mr.
Roy.
Hi.
Hello.
Hello there.
Whoa.
Can I help you, sir? Yeah, I'm actually I'm actually here to see you.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! - Get your hands back! - (WHIMPERING) - Who are you? - (WHIMPERING) - What are you doing? - Greg! I'm Greg! I'm Marianne's Greg.
Your nephew? - You know this guy? - My Mom called Marcia and I talked to that guy and he said that I could go up.
- We're good? - Right.
I didn't know you were coming.
- Yeah, you did.
- Sorry about that, guy.
- I think you did.
- You all right? - Sorry about that.
- I hope it's okay.
I wanted to say happy birth Happy birthday and many happy returns.
Oh, thank you.
(ELEVATOR DINGS) I suppose you better come up.
GREG: He's a very good bodyguard.
- (PHONE BEEPS) - Folks, he's back! He's back.
Find a place.
Hide for the surprise.
Come on.
Oh, we're not surprising him, are we? - Yeah.
- Oh, he's gonna love this.
Think last time I surprised him, he took a swing at me.
GREG: You might know this, but I got a little bit of help, and I got onto the international management training program? The theme park tour? And I was very into it? - And I got sick.
- (ELEVATOR DINGS) Out of Doderick's eyeholes.
ALL: Surprise! Great.
Excellent.
Wonderful.
Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Hi.
Hi.
Okay.
OK.
Give me room.
Give me room.
Thank you.
Thank you.
What a surprise.
- Marcia.
- What? What did I say? I said nobody by the elevator.
And what do I find? Everybody's by the elevator.
- It's a surprise.
- Oh, a surprise.
Give me that.
In the office, please.
Connor, Primo! How are you? Good.
Excellent, Pa.
Here you go.
Ah.
Roman! Romulus! Look at you! You look fantastic! Yeah, of course.
Happy birthday.
Siobhan.
Sweetheart.
Happy birthday.
Where's Tom? He's here.
He's just there.
Oh, well, never mind.
(BOTH LAUGH) Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Everybody, this is Craig, by the way.
Cousin Craig.
"Craig"? It's Greg.
N-No? GREG: Yeah.
Greg.
People sometimes, like, mistakenly call me Craig, too, - so I'll answer to both.
- (ELEVATOR DINGS) Here.
This is just a token of my very real and enduring admiration, - in the hope - Kendall? You came? Yeah, of course.
- Happy birthday, Dad.
- Uh-huh.
- Hey, Marcy.
- Hi.
- How are you? - SIOBHAN: Big day.
Congratulations you bastard.
- Congratulations.
Good luck.
- Thanks.
Hey.
Hey, Kendall.
- How's it goin'? - LOGAN: So! What's the news? Yeah, good, good.
- We're at the one-yard line.
- (PHONE BUZZING) I'm just gonna This is important.
Uh, sorry, guys, I'll be right back.
Excuse me.
Hello.
I hear you went down? Did you go down? Oh, yeah, I did.
Not so good.
It's a shitshow.
Just gotta get somewhere quiet.
ALESSANDRO: Yeah, I got news.
Hey, talk to me.
Yeah, PPG Bank have got their nose in, might be rustling up another bid.
Word's out.
We gotta move.
What do you wanna do? I'm gonna call you back in five.
- I'm not losing this deal.
- All right.
We call PPG, we offer to cut them in on the financing if they make the other bid fuck off.
Great idea, Ken, great idea.
Boom.
Kendall takes over.
Boom.
Acquisition.
That's how it's done.
Hey, you know, I wanted to talk to you about Tom.
He thinks he might be ready for the parks, - you know, globally and - look, Dad, we should get this somewhere ambient.
- You want to? - Connor.
How are you? - How's the ranch? - Oh, perfect.
The light pollution is practically zero, so, you know, that's nice.
- Hey.
- Oh, wonderful.
What is it? - Well - Oh, yes, yes.
It's a It's a goo.
It's a fucking goo? It's perfect.
It's sourdough starter.
Amazing.
I thought that you might like to make something.
- Ah, great.
- (ROMAN CHORTLES) Yeah, okay, you shouldn't have opened it.
okay? Never mind, forget it.
It was an idea.
I thought you might like it.
I do.
I do.
I just don't know what the fuck it is.
It's sourdough starter to make bread without yeast The old way.
Oh.
Oh, okay.
Old bread.
Thank you.
- It's very kind.
Thank you very much.
- You bet.
Be nice.
How's it lookin'? Looking good.
I'll keep you posted.
I just checked with Frank, and the holidays mean the board might be kinda hard to get together, so if it's cool I've scheduled a call at 4:00? Then we can issue the release? Uh-huh.
You did? Yeah.
Is that okay? Hey.
You go on.
I'm not going.
- Hey.
Give Daddy a hug.
- Hi, Daddy.
- Sorry we're late.
- No, no, you're not even.
Don't worry.
Twenty's the margin of error.
Hey, sorry I haven't Skyped with you guys in a couple days.
I've been super busy.
You feel good? - I'm good.
- Okay.
You see Isla up there? Your friend Isla? You guys wanna go see her, maybe make a drawing for Grandpa for his birthday? Sorry, one second.
It's okay.
Oh, uh, I got your message.
That's fine.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's just as this all goes through, next two weekends will be kinda crazy.
But then once it's done, it would be great if Yeah, no, it's fine.
Bank the weekends, spend them later.
Okay.
I can come up to you.
Maybe if you want, we could grab dinner for the hand-over? Ugh.
What, like two weekends? Um No? Are you Is that not Are you seeing someone? Yeah.
I am.
And I'm just hoping this one doesn't leave coke smeared all over the kids' iPads.
All right, that's fair.
(HUMORLESS CHUCKLE) - Oh, God.
- It was three years ago, but Kendall, I'm fucking with you.
It's okay, it's okay.
You're good.
This is a big day.
Coronation day.
- Yeah.
- Hey, you deserve this.
Seriously.
After everything.
MARCIA: Guys, lunch in ten.
Listen, just two minutes before lunch in the sitting room.
Kids.
Can you give me two minutes.
(CLICKS TONGUE) Got a speech.
- So, Uncle Logan, can I - Not now.
Sorry, sir.
Sir, sir, just, I need your attention, please.
About the what I was talking about earlier, the management training program? I need to get back in.
- You're out? - Yes.
There was an issue, and I talked to my mom who talked to my grandfather and said that I can come to you and and iron it out.
I'll do anything for my brother.
Oh, that's that's nice.
And I'm gonna work 100% All he needs to do is just ask.
My grandfather? I mean, you two don't talk so much.
Right? Anything.
Just get him to ask me.
Fuck! Ah.
- Dad.
- Yes.
ROMAN: Yeah, what's the deal? So On the family trust, which will decide the situation in the event of my unlikely demise, I'm going to add Marcy to myself and you four.
Whoa.
okay.
And my seat also to go to her on my death.
What? Wait, that gives her double voting weight.
Uh-huh.
So I've got some paperwork Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What? So Marcia will have two votes when you "If" he Well, no, Rome, it's not an if.
Well, excuse me if I don't want him to Well, it's not really what we want in this case, Rome.
Kendall's already signed, but if I can get you all to Two votes? I don't think I was aware of that when I ROMAN: Read the small print, asshole.
SHIV: I mean, this looks I'm gonna have to talk to my lawyers, just for all the implications.
- LOGAN: Of course.
- Just to get the full picture.
Sure, take a beat.
But look, I love the bread goo But this is the present I really want.
SO: By 4:00, good? Oh, also, I already mentioned to Kendall, despite the chatter and all things considered, I'm going to give it a couple of years.
SIOBHAN: As in? I'll stay in situ.
As chairman, CEO, head of the firm.
Dad, wh you you what? I just said, son, or were you not listening, as usual? But I'm You're not What? It's no big deal.
I'm staying on.
- We can discuss the details.
- You didn't tell me.
We can announce you're in pole position, pending events, a move up or whatever.
- "Pending events"? - Okay, come on, let's eat.
Dad, wait.
ROMAN: (LAUGHS) Oh, fuck! I don't know what you're fucking laughing about! I'm not even laughing.
What?! KENDALL: Fuck.
What the fuck.
I mean, he can't just Right? He's gonna blow the firm's credibility.
Did he look OK to you? Oh, come on! Ken, this is typical.
It's Dad.
I'm out, okay? I'm not playing.
Whatever you three decide, goes.
- Goodbye.
- Connor.
On the trust, I refuse to play.
I don't want to engage.
I'm water, I flow.
This doesn't stand, right? I Oh, fucking shrug? You're fucking shrugging me? Oh.
Are you texting? Dude, what are you - (PHONE CHIMES) - Hey, hey! - Are you telling? - Are you fucking serious? - What, are you 14? Private.
- Hey, this stays in here, okay? - This is a lockdown.
- We all need advice, man.
Advice? What? You're gonna give a double vote to a power-hungry maniac who will do fuck-knows-what with it because she's got our dad's dick in some Super Max pussy grip and she's juicing him before he croaks? Guys? Lunch is coming up.
Sorry, I don't mean to be strict.
Can you give us a minute, please? Thank you.
Hey.
So you fucked me.
I changed my mind, Kendall.
When? When, exactly.
'Cause it feels like you fucked me.
It's me.
It's mainly me.
But you Three years ago, you were still in the nuthouse.
Rehab, Dad.
It's called rehab.
And I'm in recovery.
It's all good.
I'm just concerned you might be soft, as yet.
S-Soft? Are you kidding? I did a fucking year in Shanghai.
I hear you let the guy from the website trash-talk you and you just let him come.
It's not a website.
And I was being professional.
I hear it played weak.
Conflict averse.
I wasn't about to get into a fucking big dick competition.
Okay? LOGAN: I hear you bent for him.
Wha I what? I hear you bent for him and he fucked you.
Well, no, actually.
I know that you've read a lot of books about business management and this and that, but you know what? What? Sometimes it is a big dick competition.
Okay.
okay.
So that's it? So I should have shouted at some guy, but I didn't.
So you've ripped up 18 months of corporate strategy? And you never lawyered the trust change.
I trusted my father.
That's a black mark? It's an accumulation.
You left the room.
The deal.
To come to my Dad's fucking birthday party 'cause we don't know how many more there'll be! Sorry.
So come on.
When will you be ready? To step down? I don't know.
Five? Five years? Ten? Ten! Dad? Seriously! It's my fuckin' company.
Yeah, it is your fucking company, and you know what? You're running it into the fucking ground.
You spend all your time on costs Where's the vision? You're off the beat.
Where's the growth? All our graphs go down.
All of them.
Is that why you're paying a billion dollars for a gay little website? It is not a fucking website! It's a portfolio of online brands and digital video content and it's part of an upstream investment strategy to save us, if you'll just let me.
Do you want to hit me, is that it? Huh? Go on.
Go on.
Give it your best shot.
Dad, come on.
What are you doing? Are you gonna fuckin' cry? Kendall, are you fuckin' crying? You know, this has been floated already? There's fucking paps outside.
I'm getting asked for quotes.
Fuck them.
Yeah, 'course, "fuck 'em.
" Great, great media strategy, Dad.
Great business strategy.
- The world is changing - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, everything changes.
The studio was gonna tank when I bought it, everyone was gonna stay home with video tapes.
But guess what? No! They wanna go out.
No one was gonna watch Network, except you give it zing and they do.
You make your own reality.
And once you've done it, apparently, everybody's of the opinion it was all so fucking obvious.
Lunch! LOGAN: Come on.
Find your places.
Sit.
MARCIA: Please give me my seating plan.
This is confusing.
Sorry.
(MUSIC PLAYING) (SCREAMS) (CLATTERING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) She was drunk and sitting in Gore Vidal's lap.
She's very funny.
- Your mom's very funny.
- Who's Gore Vidal? She's the one, you know, with the hair, and she usually wears the clothes? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Yeah, no, I remember your daughter.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) Marcy.
This was delicious.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, the whole day.
Really thoughtful.
It's been great.
MARCIA: Thank you very much.
You're a suck-up.
MARCIA: I'm happy to have you.
"You are so swell, Double Vote Power Mom!" You know what? Fuck you.
(TAPPING WATER GLASS) Yeah, if you'll excuse me Logan Roy.
(CHUCKLES) Born in Dundee, Scotland, 80 years ago today, raised in Quebec by an uncle with a print shop and a few advertising billboards and an aunt with a herd of cattle.
Logan himself has made a decent way for himself these past 60 years.
Fifth largest media conglomerate in the world.
A pal to prime ministers, a truth teller to presidents.
He's tough, he's wily, but he's always true to his word.
I arrived to give him legal advice 30 years ago, and I never got out the door.
And since that day, I'm proud to call him a friend.
So, let's raise a toast.
Logan Roy.
ALL: Logan Roy.
Thank you.
So, I think it's time to play the game.
We're playing the game? Well, yes.
It's my birthday, so yes, we're playing the game.
SIOBHAN: Do we have to play the game? - (LAUGHTER) - GREG: What's the game? - (LAUGHTER) - GREG: What's the game? What's the game? (MUSIC PLAYING) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Nice day! You okay, Greg? Sure.
I'm not Is there room in there? Hop in.
I'm sorry if it's a crush.
It's fine.
GREG: Oh, um, yeah, I was just talking to my grandpa.
Uh-huh.
And he said happy birthday.
Did he? Well, no, not technically, but he's aware it's your birthday.
But it occurred to me, talking to him, that him having his seat on the holding company still, from historically, now, that must be suboptimal, in some ways.
But if I could if he was willing to give his seat to someone a bit more perspicacious, someone who could learn the ropes, running a theme park, say.
LOGAN: Running the parks? Just a little guy.
Learning, you know? I mean, could that be? You scratch my back, I I'm not gonna say I could scratch yours.
It's be too considerable of a space.
But is there an angle there, perhaps? (MUTTERS) (MUSIC PLAYING) (GAME MUSIC PLAYING ON TABLET) LOGAN: So what're you thinking, son? On the thing? She's very smart.
LOGAN: She'd make good picks.
Family first.
ROMAN: I'm sure.
I'm sure.
But what's your cut? Um No.
No.
God no, Dad.
No, it's your firm.
Like, it's not what's in it for me.
But you know, like, what is in it for me? (CHUCKLES) I'd love to get you back in.
Sure.
No, sure.
It's just it was tough last time.
It was very tough with Frank over me in LA.
LOGAN: Frank's very important to the firm.
Oh, no, sure.
No, of course, I understand that.
It's just I had a lot of ideas at the studio.
As you know, I'm quite an innovative thinker, and I was met with a lot of resistance.
Is this still the film thing? No Oh, what, Robot Olympics? No, Dad, it's not about one fantastic idea.
It was a culture.
There were many of them.
What would be your dream outfit? I wanna run the damn show.
I do.
And until it opens up, Chief Operating Officer.
But I guess I guess that's Frank, huh? - Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
You okay? Sure.
You? MAN: The boys are here! Just right this way.
(CHATTER) GREG: That was my first helicopter ride.
It was so crazy.
It goes so much faster than I thought.
Hey, it's good to see you.
(CHATTER, LAUGHTER) GREG: okay, let's get a glove.
Let's have a second.
What time is it? Ah! Oh! - Toss it over here! - Come on back, come on back.
Now that things are getting shaken up, would you come inside? Dad, I'm not just playing with the politics.
Oh, no, of course.
Politics.
(CHUCKLES) Not to be crude about it, but politics is what comes out the asshole.
Wouldn't you rather be up front, feeding the horse? Well, Joyce, she's got that Air Force One look.
So to come back, I'd want the top job.
And if that was difficult? Overseeing everything outside the US, parks and all.
What, like Tom's boss? Yeah.
Stepping stones.
SIOBHAN: What's the rescue pup looking for? LOGAN: He screwed up.
Needs help.
He might fit in eventually to the parks.
Do you think Tom can handle the competition? Mr.
Roy.
All set.
Mm.
MAN: There you go.
Hey.
So, just wanted to give this to you in person just to say, you know, happy birthday.
Hold that, will you? So there we go.
Oh! Mm.
It's just a Patek Philippe.
So Yeah, it says "Patek Philippe.
" Yeah.
I know.
It's incredibly accurate.
Every time you look at it, it tells you exactly how rich you are.
- That's very funny.
- (LAUGHS) - Did you rehearse that? - (LAUGHS) No.
Well, no.
Yes.
But okay.
Yeah.
Here.
Okay, let's play ball.
KENDALL: So, what are you thinking? We say no, all of us, on the trust.
Full block.
WE SAY: stability.
Stick to the plan.
I take over and we just You two, under me, co-presidents.
- Under you? - Uh-huh.
But, you know, three.
The power of three? Interesting.
- Can we think about it? - KENDALL: Of course.
I thought about it.
Fuck you.
WOMAN: Go, Rava! MAN: Psych your mind! Go! That's a strike.
- Got her looking! - That's good pitching.
- SIOBHAN: Change sides! - TOM: Hey, man.
It was balletic, though, kinda came around.
.
I hear you're the new kid.
Yeah? Oh, well, I mean, I'm just kinda starting - I hear you're coming in.
- Yeah.
Yeah, eyes on the prize.
Well, I have got my eye on you.
Yeah, you need any help, seriously, any help, any advice, just, you know, don't fuckin' bother, okay? (LAUGHS) I'm only razzing you, cuz.
You're dreaming, really.
I'm razzing you.
- Okay.
- That was a joke.
No, really.
You know, the thing, I may look really fun, - you know? - Yeah.
But the thing about me is that I'm a terrible, terrible prick.
I got you again.
I just got you again.
(LAUGHS) Fuck me, man, your face.
Pals.
Yes? Yeah.
Would you kiss me? - What? Kiss you? - Would you? If I asked you to? - Would I kiss you? - If I told you to? Huh? - I don't - (LAUGHS) Come on.
- I'm joking.
I'm joking.
- (CHUCKLES) - All right, Siobhan.
- SIOBHAN: Bring it! Batter swing! - Just like that! - (PHONE BUZZES) Oh! Hold up.
Hang on, hang on.
Sorry.
- Apologies.
- Boo! Boo.
Honey, boo him.
- Yeah.
okay.
Sorry.
I gotta run.
- Boo! It's the crunch.
Frank, will you be link man here? - FRANK: Uh-huh.
- Dad? Of course.
Come here, sweetie.
Well, if Kendall's going, we need one more to make it fair! KENDALL: Keep it up, slugger.
The kid.
Hey! Hello! Hello! Kid.
Yeah.
Yes.
You.
You.
You wanna play? Dad, can he play? Yes.
Sure.
ROMAN: Thank you, Dad.
Yeah, hey, what's up? I just got some background for the story I heard you had cookayin'.
That's right.
Yeah, I know Kendall Roy.
And he's saying Logan's lost it.
Yeah, that's right.
Some board members and senior management, they want him out.
That's what I'm hearing from people close to the family.
Those disloyal fucks.
Just Just say source close to the family.
(MUSIC PLAYING) - That's high.
- Too high.
You're gonna be fine.
Relax, don't worry about it.
- Can you hit a ball? - Yeah.
Great, because I will give you one million dollars if you hit a home run.
- I'm dead serious, okay? - For real? Yes, for real.
A million dollars.
Honey, where's the your bag? Hey, I'll do it for a million.
Give me that.
(CHUCKLES) Just kidding.
You're good.
All right.
I don't know why you're smiling.
I am dead serious.
I will give you one million dollars, cash, for a home fucking run.
Rome, don't be an asshole.
I'm not being an asshole.
I want him incentivized.
This is fun.
It's a game.
Jeez, stop being so serious.
Huh? Witnesses.
Good luck.
I believe in you.
All right, let's do this! One million dollars.
Okay, come on.
- That's it.
- Run, kid! ROMAN: That's a hit.
That's a damn hit.
Come on, Shiv! I'm here, Shiv! - Come on! - ROMAN: Tom! Come on! Come on, run faster! - ROMAN: No! No! - Bad luck, kid.
Oh, no! You were so damn close! That was so close! Oh, my goodness! Oh, that is so sad! Oh, I'm sorry.
I can't give it to you.
That would have counted, by the way.
That was almost a home run, if you went all the way around.
But it was a really good effort.
Really.
Quite tremendous.
So take this back to your life.
It's a quarter million.
Enjoy.
Son magnificent effort.
- Thank you.
- Magnificent.
- Come here.
- It's okay.
(MUSIC PLAYING) Hey, Lawrence.
Sorry the other offer fell through.
I don't know what happened.
But we fattened the goose nice now, right? The number is 140.
Cash, with a stock alternative.
You're on our board.
Take the stock, you'll own a nice piece of us.
Well, that is an appealing package.
It is, yeah.
It's appealing.
You better play nice, though.
Because I'm the whole company.
Yeah, I think you're gonna stick around because I'm gonna stuff your mouth with so much money you're gonna shit gold figurines.
Non-disclosure agreement.
Non-voting shares.
Non-compete.
I'm going to lock you in a golden cage, fuck you with a silver dildo, and pay you so much you sing whatever song I want.
- Easy.
You still need me to recommend this.
- No, I don't.
This is a deal so fucking good you have to take it, or we'll see you in court.
Dude.
How you doing, sir? How's everything? I'm Colin.
I work for Mr.
Logan Roy and the Roy family.
We'd like to keep this quiet today, if you'll agree to that.
We'd like to have you sign a non-disclosure agreement.
- You wanted five? - Oh, Frank.
Yeah.
I've been thinking if now isn't a time for a new role for you.
Okay.
As in what sort? Light duties.
Light duties.
Are you kidding me? Logan.
Me? There should be a press release on your phone.
Proof it.
You might want to give it a bit of color, it's quite dry.
(PHONE CHIMES) That's it? To me.
That's it? After 30 Jesus Christ.
Here? You are what you do, Logan.
You know that? In the end, you're just what you do.
Don't worry, you'll get your nut.
Connor! Shiv! Roman! The other helicopter.
Colin, see to it.
(HELICOPTER POWERING UP) (MUSIC PLAYING) Well, officially the deadline has passed.
So what do you say, kids? What's the Frank situation? Frank's out of the picture.
Yeah? Frank's dead.
Tom's stepping up, and Shiv's thinking about a new role.
So, are we good? Um Shiv? Rome? Con? I'm with these two.
What they say goes.
Our position is this doesn't quite work for us.
At present.
You what? It's not sufficiently attractive as a proposition.
Are you fuckin' joking? We get that.
We do.
And we would love to help.
I would love to help.
Then help.
But why would I when I'm giving away power? Why would I do that? (WHEEZING) So so Kelly, uh Who's Kelly? Kelly will set up some figures.
He should see that, uh Dad? - Dad? - Yeah, he - ROMAN: Dad, it's just a first position.
- Dad? Get a grasp of what what - SHIV: Dad! Dad! - ROMAN: Dad! (GROANS) Dad! - Dad! Dad! - Dad! Dad! Just, yeah.
A hospital.
Take us to a hospital.
Okay, yeah, now! Has he fainted? - He fainted? He's hot.
- He's really hot.
I don't know.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER) - LAWRENCE: Kendall? - Yeah.
Have you heard the news? What? Deal.
It's all very exciting.
I can't wait to - We got a deal? - Yeah.
- Serious? - Yes? Oh, dude.
Listen, I think I think you've made a really great decision and I hope there's no hard feelings over all the shit-talking.
Oh, no, no, it's cool.
It's cool.
So, the news I was talking about is that your dad just had a brain hemorrhage.
What? Yeah.
I'm so sorry.
- Are you - But you just invited me into the chicken coop.
And without Daddy around to protect you, I'm gonna eat you all.
One by fucking one.
(PHONE BUZZES) Hello? SIOBHAN: Kendall.
Thank God.
We've been trying to reach you.
Um Uh-huh.
Dad is in the hospital.
He's We were in the helicopter, and we got here really fast, - but they think - Uh-huh.
We don't know.
They think he's had a brain hemorrhage.
(MUSIC PLAYING) If you could get here really soon, that'd be good.
I'm sorry.
(SNIFFLES) Um (MONITOR BEEPING) (MONITOR BEEPING) (HEARTBEAT) Most first-time homebuyers would love to live in Newport Beach.
But average home price in Newport Beach is over $1 million.
So, most of the homes (TV AUDIO FADES) (OVERLAPPING NEWS REPORTS) ANCHOR: There is a degree of stock market volatility.
As Waystar Royco's chairman is reported to be in critical condition following a major medical incident (OVERLAPPING NEWS REPORTS) (MUSIC PLAYING)