Swat Kats The Radical Squadron (1993) s01e01 Episode Script
The Pastmaster Always Rings Twice
EP.
1 THE PASTMASTER ALWAYS RINGS TWICE Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, Tom.
This old boneyard is supposed to be cursed! What are ya, Jack, a scaredy kat? We find somethin' valuable, and the museum'll pay big bucks for it! So shut up and keep diggin'! Hey, I think I've hit paydirt! Gimme a hand here! There's probably treasure inside.
Ugliest treasure I've ever seen Yeah, well this old watch has gotta be worth plenty of- What?! Wh-who are you? I am the Pastmaster, imprisoned in here for 800 years.
I told ya this place was cursed! At last I'm finally free! Now to find my book of spells.
L-L-Let's get outta here! No way! We're gonna sell that old gnome to the museum, watch and all! Curse the council! My book isn't where I hid it! - You're comin' with us, Pastmaster! - You foolish mortals! Even without my spellbook I have enough power to deal with vermin like you! Let them go! I have more important work for you.
Start digging, and find my book of spells! You are violating a restricted area! Put down those shovels! You're under arrest! Do those modern fools think some infernal machine can stop me?! Attack! - Do we read these things their rights? - You have the right to remain buried! These bones ain't movin' now.
What's this thing? I don't know.
Headquarters wants us to take it over to the Museum of History.
Roger.
Perhaps this "museum" has my book.
So, this is what's been accomplished in 800 years.
I want the Dark Ages back! And when I find my Tome of Time, I will arrange just that! Mach 4! Ready for more?! Mach 5! All right, ten seconds.
Beat that, SWAT Kat.
- What? - New personal best! Ten seconds at Mach 5.
Yeah, well, if you say so.
Of coruse, I didn't see it.
Sure you didn't see it, you were out like like a blown engine! Then how do I know you made 10 sec.
? I mean, you could've passed out too, and just made it up to yank my tail.
That does it! Two outta three! You're on! Why don't ya just admit it! I can take more Gs than you! I'll believe it when I see it! And so when the museum re-opens, our new exhibit will trace the evoloution of Megakat City from prehistoric swamp, to urban sprawl.
This should be enough for me to write the Mayor's press release.
Thanks, Dr.
Sinian.
Will that be in the exhibit? Oh, just came in, but it's definatly a part of history.
The darker part.
These inscriptions date back to the Dark Ages.
Really? Any idea what was inside? Jewels, perhaps.
Who knows what our ancestors might have buried in here? Here, the past is dead.
I prefer my past alive! How'd you get in here? The museum is closed until further And I say it is open! What was that?! I do not want to be disturbed while I look for my book! Oh good heavens! One of the exhibits has fallen! One of the exhibits is alive! Where is my book?! Jake! Callie's callin' us! Oh and by the way, eleven seconds at Mach 5! T-Bone here.
What's happening, Ms.
Briggs? Ms.
Briggs, do you copy? Sounds like big trouble! - What? - Up and at 'em, partner! - Got a fix on Callie's signal? - Yes! Megakat City Museum of History! We can get out through the garage! Seems pretty quiet.
Quiet? Popping canopy, now! Bingo! Let me give ya a hand, ladies.
T-Bone! Thanks, Razor.
I think I could'be taken him.
Just makin' sure the cement machine gun was operational.
Exhibits are gettin' kinda lifelike, aren't they? Looks like the Enforcers are here, late as usual.
My Tome of Time.
800 years is far to long to be separated from such power! Only a sorcerer's dark power could have brought these ancient bones to life.
It must have been the Pastmaster.
- Do you mean that weird little guy in the hood? - He's stolen an ancient spellbook! - All right, buddy, hand it over! - The Tome of Time belongs to me! Hear the spell of this immortal, send this creature through the portal! It's a Megasaurus Rex! Out of my way, you fools! I command the past, and your future looks bleak! Hang tight, we'll take care of this.
- Let's kick some tail! - Roger! Octopus Missiles, away! It just kicked our tails! - The SWAT Kats! - They're gone! Now who will save Megakat City?! Come on, baby! Gotcha! T-Bone? I've got a feeling we're not in Megakat City anymore.
Yeah, sleepin' beauty, looks like that giant lizard smashed us into the past.
Any idea how to get back? Well, I've got a better question.
How does a jet stay in the air without fuel? Answer: it doesn't! Well, I'd better get to work fixing that torn fuel line.
Fine.
The closest gas station is only a million years away.
- Ejektors! - Engaged! - I guess we showed them.
- Yes, but now we have to show them! Fire! There is a way to destroy this modern monstrosity called Megakat City, and bring back the Dark Ages! It's no use, Commander! We've thrown everything at that lizard! - I'm surprised SWAT Kats aren't here.
- They got taken out early, sir.
Really? Well, we can handle this.
Launch gas grenades! Yes sir! The spell must be cast from the tallest clocktower in the land.
Once that was my tower, but now - You stupid beast! - They're not going anywhere! - Get that spellbook from the Pastmaster.
- I give the orders around here! Dr.
Sinian knows what she's talking about.
She's the curator of the museum.
All right.
Throw a net over that guy! Hear the spell of this immortal, send these creatures through the portal! - Too little too late, Feral! - This is Feral.
Bring me chopper backup! Yes, that clocktower will do nicely! He's headed for City Hall! Spider Missiles, now! Goin' down! T-Bone, follow me! Into a live volcano?! Razor, you're crazier than I am! Oxygen masks, now! Lucky for us those leather-wings don't have gas masks.
Smells like prehistoric fried chicken.
Volcano was fun, but I don't wanna spend the rest of my nine lives stuck in dinosaurville.
Affirmative.
And I've got an idea that just might get the Turbokat back in the air.
- Let me blast that gnome and his buzzards.
- I give the orders around here, Feral and you're not going to blow up my City Hall, until I know who we're dealing with and what he wants! He's an 800-year-old sorcerer from the Dark Ages! Perfect! Well, don't just stand there! Get up to the tower and find out what he wants! Fuel tanks are modified.
- Give me some gas! - You really think this is gonna work? Theoretically, the natural volcanic gas mixture should get us off the ground.
Or blow us up.
When this clocktower strikes noon, my Dark Age city will return, and your Megakat City will be no more! The Mayor has authorized me to give you anything you want! Money! A parade in your honor! How generous.
But I'm already getting what I want! A return to the past! - Our only hope is to destroy that book! - And we're running out of time! You're really going to enjoy the Dark Ages! Guess it's up to Feral now, especially without the SWAT Kats.
- Maybe we should've tried the unleaded volcano.
- Well, at least we didn't blow up.
Feeding time again, guys? Sorry, SWAT Kat ain't on the menu! T-Bone! Looks like another one of those time holes is opening.
Feral, you've got only three minutes to blast that sorcerer out of the clocktower! My pleasure! Fool should've given the order an hour ago.
Get them! My office! It won't be long, now! - We're back! - The SWAT Kats! Looks like our city's having an identity crisis.
SWAT Kats, you have only one minute to blast the Pastmaster out of the City Hall clocktower! Who says we can't fight City Hall? Eat afterburner! Watch this! If the Gs don't knock you out! Nice flying, T-Bone! Hey! I didn't pass out! Wake up, buddy! We need a pilot now! - Why didn't you eject? - And miss that look on your face? No way! They're too late! Time's up! Nooooo! I wish they'd got back in time to save my office.
I guess the Tome of Time won't be making it into the new exhibit.
But, at least we don't have to worry about the Pastmaster anymore.
- Yeah! - Rock and roll! Text by K.
Sandberg
1 THE PASTMASTER ALWAYS RINGS TWICE Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, Tom.
This old boneyard is supposed to be cursed! What are ya, Jack, a scaredy kat? We find somethin' valuable, and the museum'll pay big bucks for it! So shut up and keep diggin'! Hey, I think I've hit paydirt! Gimme a hand here! There's probably treasure inside.
Ugliest treasure I've ever seen Yeah, well this old watch has gotta be worth plenty of- What?! Wh-who are you? I am the Pastmaster, imprisoned in here for 800 years.
I told ya this place was cursed! At last I'm finally free! Now to find my book of spells.
L-L-Let's get outta here! No way! We're gonna sell that old gnome to the museum, watch and all! Curse the council! My book isn't where I hid it! - You're comin' with us, Pastmaster! - You foolish mortals! Even without my spellbook I have enough power to deal with vermin like you! Let them go! I have more important work for you.
Start digging, and find my book of spells! You are violating a restricted area! Put down those shovels! You're under arrest! Do those modern fools think some infernal machine can stop me?! Attack! - Do we read these things their rights? - You have the right to remain buried! These bones ain't movin' now.
What's this thing? I don't know.
Headquarters wants us to take it over to the Museum of History.
Roger.
Perhaps this "museum" has my book.
So, this is what's been accomplished in 800 years.
I want the Dark Ages back! And when I find my Tome of Time, I will arrange just that! Mach 4! Ready for more?! Mach 5! All right, ten seconds.
Beat that, SWAT Kat.
- What? - New personal best! Ten seconds at Mach 5.
Yeah, well, if you say so.
Of coruse, I didn't see it.
Sure you didn't see it, you were out like like a blown engine! Then how do I know you made 10 sec.
? I mean, you could've passed out too, and just made it up to yank my tail.
That does it! Two outta three! You're on! Why don't ya just admit it! I can take more Gs than you! I'll believe it when I see it! And so when the museum re-opens, our new exhibit will trace the evoloution of Megakat City from prehistoric swamp, to urban sprawl.
This should be enough for me to write the Mayor's press release.
Thanks, Dr.
Sinian.
Will that be in the exhibit? Oh, just came in, but it's definatly a part of history.
The darker part.
These inscriptions date back to the Dark Ages.
Really? Any idea what was inside? Jewels, perhaps.
Who knows what our ancestors might have buried in here? Here, the past is dead.
I prefer my past alive! How'd you get in here? The museum is closed until further And I say it is open! What was that?! I do not want to be disturbed while I look for my book! Oh good heavens! One of the exhibits has fallen! One of the exhibits is alive! Where is my book?! Jake! Callie's callin' us! Oh and by the way, eleven seconds at Mach 5! T-Bone here.
What's happening, Ms.
Briggs? Ms.
Briggs, do you copy? Sounds like big trouble! - What? - Up and at 'em, partner! - Got a fix on Callie's signal? - Yes! Megakat City Museum of History! We can get out through the garage! Seems pretty quiet.
Quiet? Popping canopy, now! Bingo! Let me give ya a hand, ladies.
T-Bone! Thanks, Razor.
I think I could'be taken him.
Just makin' sure the cement machine gun was operational.
Exhibits are gettin' kinda lifelike, aren't they? Looks like the Enforcers are here, late as usual.
My Tome of Time.
800 years is far to long to be separated from such power! Only a sorcerer's dark power could have brought these ancient bones to life.
It must have been the Pastmaster.
- Do you mean that weird little guy in the hood? - He's stolen an ancient spellbook! - All right, buddy, hand it over! - The Tome of Time belongs to me! Hear the spell of this immortal, send this creature through the portal! It's a Megasaurus Rex! Out of my way, you fools! I command the past, and your future looks bleak! Hang tight, we'll take care of this.
- Let's kick some tail! - Roger! Octopus Missiles, away! It just kicked our tails! - The SWAT Kats! - They're gone! Now who will save Megakat City?! Come on, baby! Gotcha! T-Bone? I've got a feeling we're not in Megakat City anymore.
Yeah, sleepin' beauty, looks like that giant lizard smashed us into the past.
Any idea how to get back? Well, I've got a better question.
How does a jet stay in the air without fuel? Answer: it doesn't! Well, I'd better get to work fixing that torn fuel line.
Fine.
The closest gas station is only a million years away.
- Ejektors! - Engaged! - I guess we showed them.
- Yes, but now we have to show them! Fire! There is a way to destroy this modern monstrosity called Megakat City, and bring back the Dark Ages! It's no use, Commander! We've thrown everything at that lizard! - I'm surprised SWAT Kats aren't here.
- They got taken out early, sir.
Really? Well, we can handle this.
Launch gas grenades! Yes sir! The spell must be cast from the tallest clocktower in the land.
Once that was my tower, but now - You stupid beast! - They're not going anywhere! - Get that spellbook from the Pastmaster.
- I give the orders around here! Dr.
Sinian knows what she's talking about.
She's the curator of the museum.
All right.
Throw a net over that guy! Hear the spell of this immortal, send these creatures through the portal! - Too little too late, Feral! - This is Feral.
Bring me chopper backup! Yes, that clocktower will do nicely! He's headed for City Hall! Spider Missiles, now! Goin' down! T-Bone, follow me! Into a live volcano?! Razor, you're crazier than I am! Oxygen masks, now! Lucky for us those leather-wings don't have gas masks.
Smells like prehistoric fried chicken.
Volcano was fun, but I don't wanna spend the rest of my nine lives stuck in dinosaurville.
Affirmative.
And I've got an idea that just might get the Turbokat back in the air.
- Let me blast that gnome and his buzzards.
- I give the orders around here, Feral and you're not going to blow up my City Hall, until I know who we're dealing with and what he wants! He's an 800-year-old sorcerer from the Dark Ages! Perfect! Well, don't just stand there! Get up to the tower and find out what he wants! Fuel tanks are modified.
- Give me some gas! - You really think this is gonna work? Theoretically, the natural volcanic gas mixture should get us off the ground.
Or blow us up.
When this clocktower strikes noon, my Dark Age city will return, and your Megakat City will be no more! The Mayor has authorized me to give you anything you want! Money! A parade in your honor! How generous.
But I'm already getting what I want! A return to the past! - Our only hope is to destroy that book! - And we're running out of time! You're really going to enjoy the Dark Ages! Guess it's up to Feral now, especially without the SWAT Kats.
- Maybe we should've tried the unleaded volcano.
- Well, at least we didn't blow up.
Feeding time again, guys? Sorry, SWAT Kat ain't on the menu! T-Bone! Looks like another one of those time holes is opening.
Feral, you've got only three minutes to blast that sorcerer out of the clocktower! My pleasure! Fool should've given the order an hour ago.
Get them! My office! It won't be long, now! - We're back! - The SWAT Kats! Looks like our city's having an identity crisis.
SWAT Kats, you have only one minute to blast the Pastmaster out of the City Hall clocktower! Who says we can't fight City Hall? Eat afterburner! Watch this! If the Gs don't knock you out! Nice flying, T-Bone! Hey! I didn't pass out! Wake up, buddy! We need a pilot now! - Why didn't you eject? - And miss that look on your face? No way! They're too late! Time's up! Nooooo! I wish they'd got back in time to save my office.
I guess the Tome of Time won't be making it into the new exhibit.
But, at least we don't have to worry about the Pastmaster anymore.
- Yeah! - Rock and roll! Text by K.
Sandberg