The Bondsman (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[Norman Greenbaum: "Spirit in The Sky"]
[indistinct chatter on TV]
[laughter on TV]
When I die and they lay me to rest ♪
Gonna go to the place that's the best ♪
When I lay me down to die ♪
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky ♪
[indistinct chatter and laughter
continue on TV]
Bail enforcement.
Jeb Tucker, come out with your hands up.
[clattering]
Nowhere to run, Jeb.
Don't make me wrestle you
out of this flea trap.
-[man] Fuck off!
-[clattering]
Fine. Have it your way.
Goin' up to the spirit in the sky ♪
Spirit in the sky ♪
That's where I'm gonna go when I die ♪
When I die ♪
-When I die and they lay me to rest ♪
-[buzzing]
I'm gonna go to the place
that's the best ♪♪
[buzzing continues]
[man] What the fuck?!
Oh, goddamn it, they're stinging me!
[shouting indistinctly]
[groaning]
Get the fuck off me!
[shouting indistinctly]
The fuck?! Goddamn it!
[groans]
Now, I warned you, Jeb.
[grunts, spits]
Asshole, I ain't Jeb Tucker!
Billy Earle?
What the fuck are you doing here?
Where's Jeb?
-Well, fuck. He ain't here, is he?
-Bullshit.
I got a tip he was.
Yeah, dumbass. [laughs]
I know.
[gunshot]
[Billy laughs]
[groaning]
Wait. Just wait.
[gurgling]
[eerie exhalation]
[fly buzzing]
[voices groaning]
[gasps]
[groans]
[panting]
[straining]
[panting]
[eerie music playing]
Hel!
Let me out!
[guttural grunt] You son of a bitch!
[groaning]
Motherfuckers.
[grunting]
[drywall clattering]
[sighs]
[grunting]
[groans loudly]
[shouts]
[groaning]
Oh, shit.
[groans]
[panting]
[gasps]
Oh. What the fuck?
[doorknob turns]
[Tater] Because the Earles are hardcore.
If I back out now,
they'll probably slit my throat, too.
Nah, bro, I had to grab a job.
My parents make me pay rent now.
[high-pitched screaming]
[grunting]
[both grunting]
Oh, shit. Shit. Oh, shit.
-Fucking shit. Oh, shit. [whimpers]
-Stop.
-Aah! What do you want?
-Don't move.
What do you want?
[guttural panting]
Give me those smokes.
[guttural grunting]
You the one that cut me?
No. No, no, no, no, no.
But you work
for the Earle brothers, right?
Yeah, they hired me to burn
the place down. For the insurance.
[grunts]
And they stole my truck, too?
[Tater] Yeah.
[Tater sighs]
Oh. What the hell?
[Tater panting]
You were dead, bro.
I swear.
Get up. Get on your feet.
-[whimpers]
-Come on. Now.
-Are you dead now? [groans]
-Turn around. Let's go.
Wait, am I dead?
Are we, like, both dead, man?
Ah, shit. No, no, no. No.
Oh, God. Oh, Lord Jesus,
hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done
on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
Oh, wait. No, no, no.
No, no, no. Shit.
Listen, I promise you I won't--
-Tell the Earles I'm coming?
-Mm-hmm.
-I know.
-[whimpering]
[contemplative music playing]
[crows cawing]
[banging inside trunk]
Yeah.
[eerie growl]
[The Snowdroppers: "Devil Child"]
-[engine starts]
-[muffled whimpering]
Well, I walked through water
and I walked through mud ♪
And doctor says it seems
to be a sickness in the blood ♪
You can leave the city ♪
Just don't move up to the hills ♪
The hunger might not kill you,
but the boredom probably will, hey ♪
[tires squeal]
[horn honking]
Rain cloud, devil child,
brought up in a cult ♪
It's a different kind of plan,
but it gets the same result ♪
I don't know how ♪
I don't know when ♪
-But it feels like something's
reachin' up behind me again ♪
-[crow cawing]
[train horn blaring]
[tires screech]
Well, I walked through water
and I walked through mud ♪
And doctor says it seems
to be a sickness in the blood
What the fuck is happening?
Just don't move up to the hills ♪
The hunger might not kill you,
but the boredom probably will, hey ♪
[tires squealing]
Rain cloud, devil child,
fevers and chills ♪
They can find a cure for cancer,
but the money's in the pills ♪
I don't know how, I don't know when ♪
But it feels like something's
creepin' up behind me again ♪♪
[beeping]
[Kitty] That you, Hub?
I'll be over in a few!
Whose car is that?
It about gave me a heart attack.
I'll be right over! Goddamn.
[phone ringing]
-[muffled groaning]
-[Kitty] You've reached Halloran Bonds.
Leave us a message.
[beep]
[man] Congratulations on joining
the Pot O' Gold corporate family.
-[banging inside trunk]
-To schedule your orientation
with a regional manager
Keep quiet, or I'll cut your dick off.
-[muffled crying]
-press star.
At the Pot O' Gold
we make the impossible possible.
Ah, fucking telemarketers.
Let's chase the rainbow together.
-[answering machine clicks]
-[Hub sighs]
[sighs]
[grunts]
[grunts, pants]
[slow, eerie music playing]
[grunts]
Mama, I need your help.
I need to find
the Earle brothers right away.
What's he doing here?
Hub, manners.
You kicked my mama out of your church.
What do you want?
Ron and I were just discussing--
Your mother and I have been making amends
and discussing her returning
to the congregation if--
If my son would just stop detaining skips
during Sunday services.
I'll think about it.
Hub, that is rude. I am so sorry, Ron.
I'll let myself out.
Kitty, come see me anytime you like,
and
I'll be praying for both of you.
-Thank you.
-Bye, now.
What has got into you?
Mama, I need to find
the Earle brothers tonight.
-They stole your truck.
-Why on earth?
I thought Billy Earle was still in jail.
Mm-mm. Posted last Monday.
Yeah, but his brothers
don't have that kind of money.
-Who bailed him out?
-Lucky Callahan.
Lucky Callahan?
Now don't get all bent out of shape
about some Masshole
who don't know dipshit from apple butter.
Lucky will just go away as soon
as you and Maryanne work things out,
like you always do.
She just wants you
to show up for yourself.
So, the Earles were just hired hands.
It was Lucky.
Now, what in the world would Lucky
want with my old truck?
Well, where you off to now?
I'm gonna go see that piece of shit,
show up for myself.
Well, good. It's about time.
'Cause I will not have my grandson
becoming a Red Sox fan
under the tutelage of some carpetbagger.
Do you hear me?
[intriguing music playing]
-[muffled grunting]
-[banging inside trunk]
Your luck just ran out, motherfucker.
[phone rings]
[Kitty] You've reached Halloran Bonds.
Leave us a message.
[beep]
[man] Congratulations on joining
the Pot O' Gold corporate family.
To schedule your orientation
with a regional manager
[phones vibrating, ringing]
[muffled speaking]
[muffled whimpering]
Oh, stop it.
It's not for you.
-Unless it is.
-[groans]
[eerie music playing]
[country music playing faintly]
-[song ends]
-[crowd cheering]
[Devin] Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the oldest and boldest
country music mecca
this side of the Mississippi,
the one and only world-famous Boxcar!
[cheering]
Now welcome to the stage,
the pride of Landry
and the Country Queen of North Georgia,
Miss Maryanne Dice!
[cheering]
["When Will I Be Loved"]
-Hey, what day is it?
-[Maryanne] I've been cheated ♪
[man] Wednesday.
Revue's always on Wednesday.
Been mistreated ♪
When will I be loved? ♪
I've been put down ♪
I've been pushed round ♪
When will I be loved? ♪
When I find a new man ♪
That I want for mine ♪
He always breaks my heart in two ♪
It happens every time ♪
I've been made blue ♪
I've been lied to ♪
When will I be loved? ♪
Oh!
Oh, hey, Hub. How's the hunting?
[line cook] Hey, long time no see, Hub.
When will I be ♪
Loved? ♪
Hey, shitbird.
[crowd cheering]
Surprised to see me?
You thought I was dead, right?
Well, I guess not.
Why don't we step outside?
[door opens]
Dad.
Hey, y-you hear Mom's new backup band?
Well, I found 'em on TikTok,
but they're pretty great, right?
Yeah. They sound good. Nice work, kiddo.
[country music playing faintly]
[Maryanne] Hey, Luck.
There she is.
What a number.
You are a force, babe.
Hey, look who's here.
[Maryanne] Oh.
You working tonight, Hub,
or is that your party vest?
I got a warrant for your boyfriend here,
but I guess I could serve it another time.
Mm. You're so full of it.
But I do need to talk to you
about something.
You boys want to get us a Coke?
Uh, yeah, yeah. Sure thing.
Hey.
I want my mama's truck back.
You're too good to be singing covers, M.
You're a damn sight too good
for that empty ten-gallon hat out there.
When you gonna tell him
that nobody wears cowboy hats in Georgia?
I know, but he loves it.
And it's sweet.
Sweet?
Lucky is not who
-you think he is, Maryanne.
-Which one?
Uh
He
he paid some guys
to try and slit my throat.
-Is that right?
-Yeah, look.
Well, you look pretty okay to me.
I-I just don't want to see you get hurt.
He-He's dangerous,
more than I even realized.
Hub
But thank you for saying I look pretty.
Well, you look
pretty great yourself, by the way.
Hub, honey
you not being pretty enough
was never the problem.
Now
I need you to sign this for me
so I can take Cade out of state.
For what?
To be my stagehand.
I got an audition in Nashville.
Oh, well, look at you.
Congratulations. Who's it with?
-[door opens]
-[Cade] Dad?
Someone from a Gold Pot called for you?
-They said it was urgent.
-Yeah, okay.
Thanks, kiddo. Wh-Where's Mr. Bighat?
Oh, he had to run over
to the Earles' poker night,
but he says good luck with the show.
[chuckles] I thought he gave up
gambling when he gave up booze.
Just sign the form, Hub.
I'll think about it.
Hey, great work with the band, kid.
[electricity crackling]
Pastor Ron?
What the hell?
[jarring music playing]
[engine revving]
[electricity crackling]
[brakes squeak]
[engine shuts off]
[country music playing faintly]
[indistinct chatter]
Nah.
But nice try.
So, Lucky hired the Earles,
and the Earles hired you, right?
Mm-hmm.
You ever been to one
of their poker nights?
Mm-hmm.
Ever hear about Lucky coming to one?
Mm-mm.
Yeah, I didn't think so.
[muffled grunting]
[gasps]
Oh, man, I'm sorry,
I think I pissed myself.
What's your name, kid?
-It's Tater.
-Uh-huh.
Or well, my real name's Tommy Dean.
Thomas, I guess,
but nobody calls me that except
for my Aunt June on my mama's side.
You can call me whatever you want, though.
You related to Eddie Dean?
Yeah, that's my uncle.
No shit.
Hey, is he still with that gal
from Kentucky with the big hair?
Oh, nah, she's in jail.
And he went to Cincinnati.
Oh, that's too bad.
Yeah.
For which one of 'em?
Be cool, Tater.
[sighs]
[groaning softly]
Almost there.
-[urinating]
-[whispers] Come on, you son of a bitch.
Hey, princess.
-Oh, shit.
-Lucky's not inside, is he?
But you drove his car here as bait.
And your brothers are inside
waiting to kill me.
You're supposed to be dead.
Nah. My mama raised me tougher than that.
[whispers] Fuck.
Move. Get going.
[Tiny mutters]
Oh, preacher man ♪
Well, he will free you
from your bondage ♪
And take away the monsters
under your bed ♪
[muffled chatter]
He's got a download
from the good Lord
[yells] What the fuck?!
Son of a bitch! Oh, God!
Oh! Oh, God.
You were dead.
I take it, then,
you're the one that tried to kill me.
Yeah, and you fucked that up,
didn't you, Clyde?
He ain't the one that got jumped
taking a leak!
Fuck you, Bill!
I swear, he was fucking dead!
Shut up! Hands up!
[Billy] Oh, God.
-How much is Lucky paying you?
-[Tiny] Uh-uh-uh!
Y'all don't say shit!
He can't prove nothing!
Ain't no warrants out on us, bondsman.
So go ahead and call the cops on us.
[Billy crying] Fuck. Fuck.
You won't.
You ain't no murderer.
Self-defense, hoss.
I'll sleep just fine.
Now, we can talk about you
walking out alive once Lucky gets here.
[panting] Lu-Lucky ain't coming.
Oh, yeah, he is.
Once you text him
that you're letting me go free
unless he pays cash.
Double.
[whispers] Shit.
-[The Bittersweets: "Rapture"]
-Restless in the cold ♪
-Faces frozen in the snow
-Hillbilly motherf--
What happened to your card game?
-I didn't want to miss your next number.
-Aw.
Yeah, but now I might have to, babe.
Foodco's saying
I-I-I underpaid the last delivery.
They want me
to go to the bank first thing.
I swear to God,
I'm gonna jam my foot so far up--
Hey, hey, hey. Temper.
-Count it.
-[exhales]
One, two, three,
-four, five.
-[mouths]
There.
And sleep on it.
No big moves while you're angry, right?
[chuckles softly]
You're my guardian angel.
[song ends]
[cheering, applause]
Oh, I'm up next.
Breathe, okay?
And order me some tots for after.
I'm starving.
[Devin] Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
back to the stage Miss Maryanne Dice!
Our faith to carry us
I still think you're bluffing.
You ain't gonna gun us down in cold blood.
Nah, you're right.
I'll probably just leave you tied up
and light the house on fire.
I can't believe that you guys
brought chips and dip to my murder.
[electricity crackling]
Someone's coming.
Whoa. It-it-it ain't Lucky.
It's a
it's a pastor.
From a church?
No, dumbass, from a Piggly Wiggly.
Yes, from a church.
Well, praise be. Hey, what are you doing?
Get rid of him and do it quick.
Get up, get up.
Move.
Down. Don't move.
Don't fucking move.
[door opens]
-Do-do-do-do-do ♪
-[Clyde] Help you with something, Pastor?
A-do-do-do-do-do
Look, we're all tithed up here
this year, pops, uh,
so why don't you? Uh, Pastor?
Doodily-doodily-do-do
Y-You know, you don't look so good.
[Clyde and Billy screaming]
Ain't got a dime ♪
What the fuck?
[screaming]
I need a shave and I need a shine ♪
[Billy] Get me the fuck out of here!
I'm all hungover ♪
Got a mouth full of cotton
-[screams]
-Clyde!
Oh, God! Oh, fucking put me down!
Put me down! No! No! [screams]
What the fuck?!
I figured I'd make it someday ♪
I had high hopes,
but she sure shot 'em ♪
I guess I've arrived ♪
This must be the bottom ♪
Do-do-do-do-do ♪
[Tiny screeching]
A-do-do-do-do-do ♪
A-do-do-do-do-do, do, do ♪
Do-do-do-do-do-do
[rattling]
What the fuck is happening, man?!
[Tiny screeching]
Well, I smoke old butts
What the fuck is going on?!
[yelling indistinctly]
You son of a bitch!
[screaming in distance]
[intense music playing]
[brakes squeaking]
-[brakes hiss]
-[door opens]
[door closes]
-[phone ringing]
-[exhales slowly]
[groans softly]
[Kitty] You've reached Halloran Bonds.
Leave us a message.
-[beep]
-[fanfare playing]
[man] Congratulations on joining
the Pot O' Gold corporate family.
To schedule your orientation
with a regional manager
and confirm the details
of your new employment,
-press star.
-[opens bottle]
At the Pot O' Gold, we make
-the impossible possible.
-[Kitty] We're in here, boy.
Let's chase the rainbow together.
Oh, company?
[phone ringing]
[Kitty] She's from Pot O' Gold.
[Hub] Are you shitting me?
[Kitty] You've reached Halloran Bonds.
-Leave us a message.
-Mr. Halloran.
You are a hard man to get in touch with.
Have a seat.
[man] Congratulations on joining
the Pot O' Gold corporate family.
-To schedule your--
-[shuts off]
I'm here about your orientation.
Yeah.
I'm not interested.
She knows things, Hub.
About how you--
Died.
And went to Hell.
[mysterious music playing]
Well, you're only standing here now
because we brought you back.
At least
temporarily.
Think of this
like a work release.
And I'm your parole officer.
[Kitty] Which I told her
is just plain silly.
And blasphemous.
And I just won't have
that kind of talk on my property.
Do you think it's silly, Mr. Halloran?
I'm not the churchgoing type.
But your friend tonight was, though,
wasn't he?
Look what good that did him.
[chuckles softly]
Anyway, we don't exactly discriminate.
The last gal doing your job
wasn't even Christian.
What job, lady?
Oh, you're still a bounty hunter,
Mr. Halloran.
But now you hunt demons.
For the Devil.
♪
[Kitty] Hub.
Did you or did you not see a demon?
Yeah, I think maybe I did.
[dramatic music playing]
[Midge] Imagine Hell is a prison,
and sometimes inmates bust out.
[Hub] So my job is
to hunt demons and send them back.
What do you mean, send 'em back?
♪
-Fuck me.
-Kill 'em.
-[gulps]
-You'll see.
But if you fail to process
any demons assigned to you,
-you will be terminated.
-[growls]
Immediately.
So make the most of it.
It's the employees that can
find the silver lining
that have the best experience.
-[growling]
-[muffled screaming]
Anyway, I plan to be busy.
[intense, dramatic music playing]
[Hub] Something I got to tell you.
And it's definitely gonna sound crazy.
-You have cancer, don't you?
-What? No.
♪
Run!
[Lucky] Hub is a demon-summoning
psycho from Hell.
Lord, you need a holy warrior,
like me.
♪
[Kitty] Hub is nobody's idea of perfect.
Anybody can see he has flaws.
-But Hell?
-Exactly.
Thank you.
[Midge] You were condemned to Hell
for what you did.
So you're worried
my ex-husband might not be
the right guy to prevent Armageddon.
[screams]
-[Hub] If we fail, it's the End Times.
-[demonic growling]
Well, shit.
♪
[quiet, dramatic music playing]
♪