The Dress Up Gang (2019) s01e01 Episode Script

1
Hey, Cory.
Hi, Frank, what can
I do for you?
Donny's trying to go
to McDonald's by himself.
Donny, get in here.
Frankie says you're going
to McDonald's by yourself?
You
You fucking snitch.
Donny, you know if you're
gonna go to McDonald's,
you got to take a burger buddy.
Yeah.
Why do we got to take
a burger buddy, anyways?
Because.
When you eat by yourself,
it looks lonely.
And it makes other people
feel lonely
to have to look at you.
I know.
How come Frank can't
go with you?
He's going to his cousin's
quinceañera.
Well,
I'll tell you what.
You know, I
I really appreciate you
doing my taxes this year.
Why don't I be your
burger buddy?
We can go tonight for dinner,
how does that sound?
- Okay.
- Now, don't you have something
you want to say to Frankie?
Sorry I called you a snitch,
Frank.
It's okay.
- Hey, Cory.
- Yeah?
Do you know where
the headphones are?
Yeah, they're in the bathroom
upstairs.
You think it'd be okay if
if I borrowed 'em?
Oh, I'd rather keep 'em
where they are.
I like to listen to music
when I use the toilet.
Oh.
You know how they're
mine?
Yeah.
You know how that is?
Yeah
Well, seeing as that
they're mine and all,
and you know how that is
- I was just thinking
- Look, I'll tell you what.
Why don't you use
your headphones,
and, well, if I need to use
the toilet, I'll
I'll just come
and take 'em from you?
Okay. Thanks, Cory.
So, Christian, uh,
what brings you by?
Is there somewhere
we could talk privately?
Oh, he's got his
headphones on.
He's pretty busy doing my taxes.
What's on your mind?
Okay.
So, I was coming home
from the grocery store today,
and I walked into the courtyard,
and I saw Donny.
And, uh
he was, uh
He was what?
He was dancing.
Jesus.
Right out in front.
In public.
I wonder if this is just
some sort of a
a one-time thing.
Oh. Could be.
Could be a one-time thing.
Or maybe it's a new thing.
I mean, he knows better.
I wonder if something
just came over him.
I don't know.
Seemed pretty well-rehearsed
to me.
Hey, Donny.
Oh, what's up, burger buddy?
I'm almost done with your taxes;
I'm just taking a quick break.
Anyway, when we rip up
McDonald's tonight,
do you want to go to the one
on Western
- or the one on Sunset?
- Sport, we need to talk.
Were you dancing
outside earlier?
No.
In the courtyard,
earlier today,
you were not dancing?
What? No.
Donny?
Did Christian tell you that?
He did.
Man, what a snitch.
Christian can suck my ding.
Okay. Now, if you're
gonna be dancing outside,
you're darn right he's
gonna tell me.
But I wasn't dancing.
- Donny
- I wasn't dancing.
- Donny?
- I wasn't dancing.
All right, that's it.
- No McDonald's.
- What?!
We were supposed to be
burger buddies, dude.
Yeah, well, burger buddies
don't lie to each other, dude.
Man, you trust Christian
more than you trust me.
Donny, he's a professor
at the junior college.
Professor at what, snitching
and ding-sucking?
Just forget it.
I wasn't dancing, Cory.
I was just walking.
wants to do is rub
my face in the dirt ♪
'Cause I can't dance ♪
I can't talk ♪
Only thing about me
is the way I walk ♪
What's up with you?
Oh, I'm just starving
to death; what about you?
Thought you knew.
I'm walkin'.
Oh, better not let
the neighbors see.
Look, I'm sorry
I didn't believe you.
Christian's just easy to trust
'cause he's taller than me.
I know he's an adulterer.
Anyway, just gonna
go for a walk.
You want to come?
No.
I'm just gonna stay home
and make a salad.
All right. Just thinking
maybe I'd go down
to McDonald's.
Thought maybe you'd
want to come.
Anyway, see you later.
Royksopp's
"Daddy's Groove" ♪
You know, you're not
even doing it right.
You got to move your arms
and legs
in the same direction.
Maybe you could teach me how.
Dinner's in the oven ♪
Kids are in your face ♪
What the fuck are
you guys doing?
We're walkin'.
Son is in my head ♪
We're going to McDonald's.
Daddy's groove ♪
You coming?
♪
Hey, where you guys going?
We're going to McDonald's.
Want to come?
Oh, hell yeah!
beating down ♪
Burning my feet ♪
Just walking around ♪
Hot sun making me sweat ♪
'Gators getting close,
hasn't got me yet ♪
I can't dance ♪
I can't talk ♪
Only thing about me
is the way I walk ♪
I can't dance ♪
I can't sing ♪
I'm just standing here ♪
Selling everything ♪
Blue jeans sitting
on the beach ♪
Her dog's talking to me,
but she's out of reach ♪
She's got a body
under that shirt ♪
But all she wants to do ♪
Is rub my face in the dirt ♪
'Cause I can't dance ♪
I can't talk ♪
Only thing about me
is the way I walk ♪
I ♪
- Oh. Hey, Christian.
- Hey, Cory.
Hey, if you're free later,
you should stop by.
We're having a potluck
for New Look Day.
What's New Look Day?
Well, once a year,
me and the guys get together,
and we sort of create
a safe space
where we can try out
a new look
Something outside of our
normal style
that we're not really sure
we can pull off,
like a puka shell necklace
or a cool cowboy hat.
Anyway, we just give it
a trial run
and see how it feels before
we wear it out in public.
That's a great idea.
Then she put her foot up here,
and she had zebra print
toenail polish.
It was driving me crazy, man.
So, uh, what are you gonna
wear for New Look Day?
Oh
well, Cory says we're not
supposed to talk about
our new looks before the party.
Says it taints our
first impression.
Oh, come on.
Tell you this much, though
I'm going big this year, Frank.
Man, I still don't know
what I'm gonna wear.
I know just what
I'm gonna wear.
Hey, if you don't mind, maybe
I'll bring my mistress along?
Well, nothing against Rachel,
but Donny gets a little
uncomfortable when
you bring around the women
with whom you're
cheating on your wife with.
Totally understandable.
Hey, Donny.
I saw you in a picture ♪
A couple days ago ♪
Oh, my sister ♪
And she was two years old ♪
Well, it must've been ♪
Saw come across
the room ♪
When I saw you come
across the ♪
Saw you come across the ♪
When I saw you come across
the room ♪
Saw you come across the ♪
Donny, you keep playing
that song,
- you're gonna wear it out.
- No duh, thanks.
Look, don't
Don't get me wrong,
the Walgreens on Highland
is slappin',
but the one on Sunset
is slappin'.
- I agree.
- Cheers to that.
So tell me about
these dancing lessons.
- Oh, so I take these lessons
- Uh-huh.
You know, private lessons.
Oh, that's a double
cheeseburger right there,
- my boy.
- Taco cheers?
All: Cheers to that.
The burger, see,
'cause it's diverse.
We're not cheersing to that.
Is that Andie MacDowell?
Yeah, she lives
in the courtyard.
You never saw
"Sex, Lies, and Videotape"?
- No.
- Oh, that movie is slappin'.
- To New Look Day?
- All right.
- New Look Day.
- Thank you, Frank.
What's up, man?
Carne asada is real thin,
you know what I mean?
Wow, this is an incredible
spread you guys got here.
Oh, thank you. You know
he's married, right?
So tonight, I'm gonna
give my love ♪
To a strange, strange,
stranger ♪
Give my love ♪
When I saw you come
across the room ♪
Saw you come across the ♪
When I saw you come
across the room ♪
Saw you come across the ♪
Across the room ♪
All right, everybody,
listen up.
I think we've had enough
time to mingle,
so why don't we all grab a
chair, and we can start voting?
If you want any food,
grab it now,
'cause I'm gonna throw
all this shit away.
So I tried wearing
the earring.
And you also tried not
wearing your wedding ring?
Oh, that's
That's not a new look.
Well, Christian,
other than Donny's vote,
it's pretty much a slam dunk.
With your confidence
and your height,
I think you can pretty much
pull off anything you want to.
Even adultery.
Okay, Rachel, you're up.
I actually don't feel
comfortable being judged
by a room full of men
and Andie MacDowell,
so I'm not gonna go up,
actually.
Okay. Andie, you're up.
Okay, I have this, uh,
new look necklace
that I got at Chanel to wear
to the Emmys,
and I thought I could just
wear it every day.
Andie, do you mind if we
just touch the necklace?
No, you can here.
How much is
the necklace worth?
- $4,000.
- This necklace is thick.
It's got some back on it;
I like that.
It's got a petite chain, though.
I like that, too.
It's cute.
Andie, the necklace was
shiny, dense, heavy,
and it looked very expensive.
But unfortunately,
you didn't pull it off.
Aww. Really?
It's just a bit much.
You already sparkle.
Rachel, I'm gonna
give it to you.
Here you go, baby.
Oh, my God.
So, um, I don't know if I'm
breaking the rules.
Like, I might be being
a bad boy right now,
but I didn't try a new look.
I tried a new word.
I don't know if you guys
noticed earlier,
but
I've been saying slappin'.
I try to use it organically
in conversation
at least once with each of you.
- And every one of you
- He did.
I can give you an example,
too, if you like.
Uh, like, um, ask me
what I think of that tapestry.
What do you think
of that tapestry?
It's slappin'.
Brent, your new word,
slappin',
was slappin'.
You pulled it off.
Slappin'!
Okay, Kevin, you're up next.
So, uh, I just
tried the name Eric.
I don't know, it's
I didn't know him before,
so I just assumed
his name was Eric.
So I'm just not really
sure how to vote.
I haven't really been
counting your votes
anyway, sweetheart.
Easy. She doesn't
know she wasn't invited.
Kevin, you pulled it off.
Congratulations, Eric.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, come on.
You're fucking with me.
Oh, fuck. Fuck!
Yeah! Oh, fuck!
Come on, Eric.
Sit back down.
Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you.
Frank, is this a new
look?
Or a new identity?
I don't know.
Okay, well, I mean,
I'm sure I speak for us all
when we say,
just, you know, do you.
Uh
but I think we
can judge the dress.
You didn't pull off the dress.
Ugh!
Somebody wrote,
"The accessories
don't match the pattern."
I wrote that.
It's all good.
Okay, so, I tried the
mustache and the cowboy hat.
And can you please
turn for me?
That chin ain't that thick,
though.
Cory, well, first off,
I just wanted to say,
you've been crashing on my
couch for a while now,
and I know how that can make
someone feel like
it's their personal space.
And in a way, you've let us
into your living room,
and hell, you hosted us tonight,
and, I don't know, I just
think that's really cool.
No problem. It was
absolutely my pleasure.
So anyways, I tallied
the votes, and
read the comments, and
the mustache,
you didn't pull it off.
So the mustache goes.
Well, the mustache stays
until the rest of the beard
grows back and fastens itself
back to the rest of it.
And the cowboy hat
you didn't pull it off, either.
Sorry, big guy.
Okay.
Hey, that's what
New Look Day's for.
I appreciate all
your honesty, everybody.
Cory
hat.
So, I tried the straight hair,
this Burberry scarf here, and
just this Hustle
tattoo on my neck.
Slappin'.
Some of the guys at the
tennis court gave it to me
because they always
say I hustle.
And it is permanent, but don't
let that sway your vote.
I could easily hide it
or get it removed.
Sorry if my straight hair's
a little shocking.
I realize it does change
my essence a bit.
Okay, let's tally these up.
"I liked your curls better."
"Look like a character
from 'Fraggle Rock'."
"I live with you, and I can't
stand to look at it, so no."
Well, I'm sorry, sport.
You didn't pull off
the straight hair.
Or the Burberry scarf.
And dang it, Donny, you know
I don't like you hanging out
with those guys
at the tennis courts.
But I think I speak
for us all when I say,
they did one hell of job
with that tattoo.
You pulled it off, pal.
- Congratulations.
- That's enough, Frank.
You need to get the curls
popping, my boy.
I think I'm gonna change
my name back to Kevin.
Oh, Andie, thanks
for the necklace.
- Oh, no problem.
- It's so pretty.
Hey, Cory.
Oh. Hey, pal.
Hey, you want to watch
a movie or something?
Oh, I don't think so.
I just took a sleeping pill
a few minutes ago.
Probably just hit the sack.
I took one too, if you want
to stay up
and fight it together.
Maybe we can trip out.
I don't think I got that
kind of fight in me
tonight, pal.
Okay.
Good night, Cory.
Hey, Cory, I found this
in the bathroom.
Is this your
Wife is in the shower ♪
Song is in my head ♪
Daddy's groove ♪
Daddy's groove ♪
My boy.