The Guardians of Justice (2022) s01e01 Episode Script
Chapter 1: It Was Murder, She Said!
1
[man.]
I was there when everything changed.
[watch ticking.]
Forty years ago.
[dramatic music playing.]
[guns firing.]
[man.]
It was our third world war, and humanity was determined to end itself.
[electricity whirring.]
[roars.]
[electricity whirring.]
[man.]
Then, on the edge of annihilation, an alien saved us.
[intense electronic music playing.]
[man.]
He smashed our tools of war.
[electricity zapping.]
[timer beeping.]
[man.]
He forced us to stop fighting, and shut down World War III in one fucking day.
We called him Marvelous Man.
[airplane careening.]
[crowd cheering.]
[man.]
For the first time in history, world peace appeared possible.
[gun fires.]
[sizzling.]
[mechanical whirring.]
[computer beeping.]
[silenced gun fires.]
[watch ticking.]
- Good evening, America.
- Mom? I'm award-winning journalist Van Dawson, and this is Van Dawson Tonight.
We eagerly await the 40th anniversary of Marvelous Man Day.
The day Marvelous Man appeared from the sky to single-handedly end World War III.
[dramatic music playing.]
Will our first superhero continue to remain staunchly neutral in human conflicts? Will he act against the expansionist hive mind Anubis? Will he condemn President Nick Nukem's aggressive military rhetoric? We now go live to the Citadel of Justice, where Marvelous Man is moments away from giving his yearly M Day address.
[man singing.]
M Day! [indistinct chatter over radio.]
[electricity crackling.]
[man singing.]
M Day! [melancholy electronic music playing.]
People of Earth this is Marvelous Man.
Come on! Come on! Check this out! Look at that.
That's my hero! [breathing heavily.]
For four decades, I have protected you.
I saved you.
[exhales.]
Boom! [laughs.]
[sizzling.]
I don't feel anything.
I'm a prisoner in this bulletproof skin.
Why does Marvelous Man look so sad, Mom? And when I close my eyes, this is what I hear.
- [people screaming.]
- [guns firing.]
- [siren wailing.]
- [explosions.]
[man.]
Please, help me! Why? Why didn't you save us? [flames roaring.]
- [man.]
Why didn't you save us? - [woman.]
Where are you? - [man.]
You're supposed to be our savior! - [woman.]
Where are you? Where are you? - Where are you? - [man.]
Our savior! [panting.]
[Marvelous Man.]
If I sleep, people die.
Real inspiring speech, Cal.
[sizzling.]
Wait, is is that caltronite? [Marvelous Man exhales.]
No! [exhales.]
[breathing heavily.]
[whispers.]
What? I'm tired of hiding.
I'm tired.
So I've found my escape.
No.
Don't do this, Cal! I found it.
[static buzzing.]
[breathing heavily.]
[rapid breathing.]
[music crescendos.]
[gun fires.]
- No! - What happened? [exhales.]
Mom! [pop music playing over radio.]
[exhales.]
[electricity zaps.]
- [The Speed.]
Cecilia? - [Cecilia.]
Yeah? Are we live? Marvelous Man is dead.
[Van Dawson.]
Um [clears throat.]
Clear my schedule.
[electricity zaps.]
[exhales.]
What we have just witnessed is obviously a dark day for mankind.
There are no words to properly express what just happened and what we have lost as a nation, as a species, as a planet.
[dramatic music playing.]
[man.]
Fatality.
[female computer.]
The Guardians of Justice will save you.
[theme music playing.]
[man.]
He's the greatest president We've ever had Abraham Lincoln can leave his bed Nick Nukem My fellow Americans, an immigrant from another planet came to our shores and made not only a life for himself, but created a lasting legacy as well.
In the wake of his death, America will continue to protect the legacy of Marvelous Man.
We will prevent the escalation of nuclear conflict.
We will curtail the homosexual epidemic that is gripping our great nation.
Asshole! And I promise you that even with Marvelous Man gone, our enemies will continue to fear us.
God bless you, and God bless America.
[sinister music playing.]
We're fucked, people! Aw, Phil.
Now that Marvelous Man is gone, who is going to save us? People on the streets are going crazy.
It's as if the whole world has has lost all hope.
[man.]
The year is 1960.
Marvelous Man has brought rapid technological advancement, causing social turmoil and an escalation of street-level violence.
[upbeat music playing.]
[grunts.]
[grunts, groans.]
[thug shouts.]
[shouts.]
[man.]
In this asphalt jungle, we join a lone vigilante, the Knight Hawk, conducting a crusade against costumed crime kingpin The Demander.
[metallic clanging.]
[The Demander grunts.]
[Knight Hawk grunts.]
[shouts, grunts.]
[moaning.]
[grunting.]
[The Demander shouting.]
[Knight Hawk grunting, groaning.]
[thudding.]
[The Demander laughing.]
[grunting.]
[man.]
In this moment of peril, a god aligned himself with a man.
Together, they would forge a friendship that became the cornerstone of the Guardians of Justice.
[voices singing indistinctly.]
[watch ticking.]
[reporter.]
For our next segment, an exclusive interview with the former CIA operative who stole a god's heart.
America's princess, now America's widow, Laura Louis.
And we're live in three, two [news theme playing.]
Ms.
Louis, you have my condolences.
The world shares your grief.
How are you processing what your husband has done? He wouldn't do that.
He wouldn't do that to the world, to the Guardians, to me.
I think there can be no question Marvelous Man committed suicide.
[Laura.]
You don't know what you're talking about.
I've been watching it and re-watching it over and over and over again.
[somber music playing.]
He was murdered.
Murdered? [in Arabic.]
Shocking revelations from Marvelous Man's widow.
[in Hebrew.]
Was Marvelous Man murdered? We will investigate the allegations tonight at ten [reporter in French.]
 Suicide or murder? The world demands answers.
The last 24 hours have shaken our planet to its core.
[sizzling.]
If you're right, then there's one question the world needs answered.
Who, if anyone, killed Marvelous Man? We need to hear from the Guardians of Justice, and specifically from Marvelous Man's second-in-command.
Knight Hawk, where are you? [intense music playing.]
[Knight Hawk.]
Computer, call the Guardians.
King Tsunami here.
Speed here.
Golden Goddess.
Mm.
Awsome Man present.
Sorry.
I'm eating a taco.
Blue-Scream online.
Black Bow here.
[Knight Hawk.]
With Marvelous Man gone, it's time to suit up, assume control of the Guardians, and protect the planet.
[man.]
Golden Goddess! [Knight Hawk.]
She's the princess of the god realm.
[man.]
The Speed! [Knight Hawk.]
The only person faster than Marvelous Man.
[man.]
Black Bow! [Knight Hawk.]
Expert marksman and reality star.
- [man.]
Blue-Scream! - [screaming.]
[Knight Hawk.]
Whose sonic scream contains immense power.
[man.]
King Tsunami! [Knight Hawk.]
Overlord of the oceans.
[man.]
Awsome Man! [Knight Hawk.]
Who possesses a magic word that gives him the power of seven gods.
Together, we form the Guardians of Justice.
With Marvelous Man gone, there's a power vacuum that could rip this world apart.
We can't have that happen.
Yeah.
How are we gonna do that? All of us combined are not equal to Marvelous Man.
Speak for yourself, human.
Oh, come on.
Don't fight.
You're a fucking fish.
What can you do? You can talk to fish.
"Oh, wow! I'm so fucking powerful!" Pathetic street whore.
I'm a king, and I demand respect! [Knight Hawk.]
Enough! You're supposed to be role models.
Heroes.
Try and act like it.
Blue-Scream's right.
None of us compare to Marvelous Man.
But if we work together as a team, we could save this world.
We can honor our fallen Guardian.
We could strive to be marvelous.
Everyone knows Marvelous Man didn't just protect a city or a town.
He protected the world.
Now that's on us.
Awsome Man, Speed, Golden Goddess, you're the only ones fast enough to handle an international crisis.
There's a squad of cyborg T-Rexes on the loose in Syria.
[roaring.]
Take them down and bring them to justice.
Consider it done.
[Knight Hawk.]
A massive mudslide has thousands trapped and dying.
Awsome Man, the Red Cross needs you in Thailand.
The Hawk drones will back you up with supplies.
[Hawk drone.]
Activate.
You can count on me.
[Knight Hawk.]
Speed, I need you to pick up Blue-Scream and drop him in LA.
A new street drug called "Mellow Devil" is causing people to lose their minds.
- We've got to extinguish the fires.
- You got it.
He can't do that alone.
I should go with him.
- I'll be fine.
Speed, let's go.
- I'm on my way.
[Knight Hawk.]
Wait, Speed! After you've dropped Scream in LA, I need you to get back here, because we've gotta get Black Bow to Peru.
Wait, wait, wait.
What am I, the Guardians' delivery boy? You're whatever the Guardians need you to be.
Now, move! And me? [shouts, grunts.]
[Knight Hawk.]
The Scottish Skull has hijacked an American submarine off the coast of New Zeamar.
[equipment powers down.]
[alarm blaring.]
Walker! How did you break this feed? Despite what you'd like to believe, Atticus, there are people smarter than you.
[suspenseful music playing.]
[Knight Hawk.]
Addison Walker.
She runs a private military group funded by a few dozen corporations.
Her objective? Maintain global economic stability at all cost.
[bullet ricochets.]
[Knight Hawk.]
She's playing chess and only she gets to see the board.
What do you want? As you know, Marvelous Man was leading negotiations for a worldwide nuclear disarmament.
Since his death, those negotiations have spun out of control.
[Knight Hawk.]
That sounds like your problem, not mine.
[groans loudly.]
Oh.
It's going to become everyone's problem soon.
Because of the questions surrounding Marvelous Man's death, every country is pointing the finger at one another.
China is saying Russia had him killed.
Iran and Iraq are sure the job was done by the Americans.
That doesn't even make sense.
The steps that lead us to war rarely do.
The only way this ends without an all-out nuclear holocaust is if you find out who really killed Marvelous Man.
[Knight Hawk.]
So you don't think it was a suicide? I don't.
But from what I hear, neither do you.
I don't have an opinion.
And I won't have an opinion until my investigation is completed.
Yes, but I know the problem is you're looking in the wrong place.
Are you fucking with me or what? You need to look at the Guardians themselves.
The Guardians? What do you know that I don't? [Walker.]
Time is running short.
Find the answer.
Or I'll arrest you and every one of your super friends before declaring martial law on the world.
[Knight Hawk sighs heavily.]
[electro pop music playing.]
[exhales, inhales.]
Knight Hawk to Guardians.
Complete your mission and report to the Hawk's Nest.
We do not need forever Honey, we've got now Tell me God is dead I'm safe, let's go to bed And think something, somehow Wake me when you're gone [cars honking.]
[sirens wailing.]
Jesus Christ! That's fucked up, man.
I know.
I know.
But think about it.
Marvelous Man is dead.
Right? Huh? So, you think if we wore his skin, we'd be bulletproof? I mean, I guess.
I-it's like a bulletproof jacket.
You know? It it still goes through.
It hurts like shit.
[officer 2 laughing.]
No, it doesn't! At least, I think it doesn't.
Shit.
I mean 'Cause his whole body is bulletproof.
It's impenetrable, man.
All right? If you wore his skin, you'd still be a doughboy with shit muscles.
[officer 2.]
Oh, fuck you.
Fuck you.
You know how much I've been lifting.
[officer 1.]
Yeah, yeah.
You're lifting beer and donuts, man.
- That still counts.
- [officer 1.]
Yeah.
In your world.
[officer 2.]
What's the count at? [officer 1.]
Three and a half.
Look at this one.
- [officer 2.]
Smiley face? - [officer 1.]
Uh-huh.
- [officer 2.]
Shit.
- [officer 1.]
Oh, well [officer 2.]
Another smiley face.
[officer 1.]
Oh, okay.
Look at this one here.
[officer 2.]
Fucking ground beef.
[officer 1.]
How's that wife of yours, man? [officer 2.]
She's good.
She's a little stressed out.
Kid had an accident.
You know? - [officer 1.]
Yeah? - [officer 2.]
Yeah.
[officer 1 scoffs.]
Hey, when it rains, it pours.
[officer 2.]
Tell me about it.
I'm missing that single life though.
[officer 1.]
Yeah.
Look at this one here.
The eyeball's out.
[officer 2.]
Oh.
[officer 1.]
Single life? You are missing it.
- Hey, I forgot to ask you - [officer 1.]
What? - [officer 2.]
Another smiley face.
- [officer 1.]
Yeah.
[officer 2.]
How was that how was that date the other night? [officer 1.]
What date? Oh, yeah! The one with the big old? [officer 2.]
Yeah, the tig old bitties.
Oh, man, she was Crazy, but she was nice.
[officer 2.]
Yeah.
I fucking love titties, man.
[officer 1.]
I know you do.
Oh.
Look at this.
Oh sh - Stinks! - [officer 2.]
That smells like shit, man.
- [officer 1.]
Oh, man! - [officer 2.]
Fucking maggots and shit.
[officer 1.]
Oh, yeah.
[unintelligible dialogue.]
[officer 1.]
Oh.
Look at this one.
[exhales, whispers.]
Shit.
Got a splitting headache, I guess.
I don't know.
That's disgusting.
[officer 1.]
Check this one out here.
- [officer 2.]
That's not right, man.
- [officer 1.]
Oh, man.
Faceless.
[helicopter blades whirring.]
[mysterious man laughs sinisterly.]
[sinister music playing.]
[gun fires.]
I was there when everything changed.
[watch ticking.]
Forty years ago.
[dramatic music playing.]
[guns firing.]
[man.]
It was our third world war, and humanity was determined to end itself.
[electricity whirring.]
[roars.]
[electricity whirring.]
[man.]
Then, on the edge of annihilation, an alien saved us.
[intense electronic music playing.]
[man.]
He smashed our tools of war.
[electricity zapping.]
[timer beeping.]
[man.]
He forced us to stop fighting, and shut down World War III in one fucking day.
We called him Marvelous Man.
[airplane careening.]
[crowd cheering.]
[man.]
For the first time in history, world peace appeared possible.
[gun fires.]
[sizzling.]
[mechanical whirring.]
[computer beeping.]
[silenced gun fires.]
[watch ticking.]
- Good evening, America.
- Mom? I'm award-winning journalist Van Dawson, and this is Van Dawson Tonight.
We eagerly await the 40th anniversary of Marvelous Man Day.
The day Marvelous Man appeared from the sky to single-handedly end World War III.
[dramatic music playing.]
Will our first superhero continue to remain staunchly neutral in human conflicts? Will he act against the expansionist hive mind Anubis? Will he condemn President Nick Nukem's aggressive military rhetoric? We now go live to the Citadel of Justice, where Marvelous Man is moments away from giving his yearly M Day address.
[man singing.]
M Day! [indistinct chatter over radio.]
[electricity crackling.]
[man singing.]
M Day! [melancholy electronic music playing.]
People of Earth this is Marvelous Man.
Come on! Come on! Check this out! Look at that.
That's my hero! [breathing heavily.]
For four decades, I have protected you.
I saved you.
[exhales.]
Boom! [laughs.]
[sizzling.]
I don't feel anything.
I'm a prisoner in this bulletproof skin.
Why does Marvelous Man look so sad, Mom? And when I close my eyes, this is what I hear.
- [people screaming.]
- [guns firing.]
- [siren wailing.]
- [explosions.]
[man.]
Please, help me! Why? Why didn't you save us? [flames roaring.]
- [man.]
Why didn't you save us? - [woman.]
Where are you? - [man.]
You're supposed to be our savior! - [woman.]
Where are you? Where are you? - Where are you? - [man.]
Our savior! [panting.]
[Marvelous Man.]
If I sleep, people die.
Real inspiring speech, Cal.
[sizzling.]
Wait, is is that caltronite? [Marvelous Man exhales.]
No! [exhales.]
[breathing heavily.]
[whispers.]
What? I'm tired of hiding.
I'm tired.
So I've found my escape.
No.
Don't do this, Cal! I found it.
[static buzzing.]
[breathing heavily.]
[rapid breathing.]
[music crescendos.]
[gun fires.]
- No! - What happened? [exhales.]
Mom! [pop music playing over radio.]
[exhales.]
[electricity zaps.]
- [The Speed.]
Cecilia? - [Cecilia.]
Yeah? Are we live? Marvelous Man is dead.
[Van Dawson.]
Um [clears throat.]
Clear my schedule.
[electricity zaps.]
[exhales.]
What we have just witnessed is obviously a dark day for mankind.
There are no words to properly express what just happened and what we have lost as a nation, as a species, as a planet.
[dramatic music playing.]
[man.]
Fatality.
[female computer.]
The Guardians of Justice will save you.
[theme music playing.]
[man.]
He's the greatest president We've ever had Abraham Lincoln can leave his bed Nick Nukem My fellow Americans, an immigrant from another planet came to our shores and made not only a life for himself, but created a lasting legacy as well.
In the wake of his death, America will continue to protect the legacy of Marvelous Man.
We will prevent the escalation of nuclear conflict.
We will curtail the homosexual epidemic that is gripping our great nation.
Asshole! And I promise you that even with Marvelous Man gone, our enemies will continue to fear us.
God bless you, and God bless America.
[sinister music playing.]
We're fucked, people! Aw, Phil.
Now that Marvelous Man is gone, who is going to save us? People on the streets are going crazy.
It's as if the whole world has has lost all hope.
[man.]
The year is 1960.
Marvelous Man has brought rapid technological advancement, causing social turmoil and an escalation of street-level violence.
[upbeat music playing.]
[grunts.]
[grunts, groans.]
[thug shouts.]
[shouts.]
[man.]
In this asphalt jungle, we join a lone vigilante, the Knight Hawk, conducting a crusade against costumed crime kingpin The Demander.
[metallic clanging.]
[The Demander grunts.]
[Knight Hawk grunts.]
[shouts, grunts.]
[moaning.]
[grunting.]
[The Demander shouting.]
[Knight Hawk grunting, groaning.]
[thudding.]
[The Demander laughing.]
[grunting.]
[man.]
In this moment of peril, a god aligned himself with a man.
Together, they would forge a friendship that became the cornerstone of the Guardians of Justice.
[voices singing indistinctly.]
[watch ticking.]
[reporter.]
For our next segment, an exclusive interview with the former CIA operative who stole a god's heart.
America's princess, now America's widow, Laura Louis.
And we're live in three, two [news theme playing.]
Ms.
Louis, you have my condolences.
The world shares your grief.
How are you processing what your husband has done? He wouldn't do that.
He wouldn't do that to the world, to the Guardians, to me.
I think there can be no question Marvelous Man committed suicide.
[Laura.]
You don't know what you're talking about.
I've been watching it and re-watching it over and over and over again.
[somber music playing.]
He was murdered.
Murdered? [in Arabic.]
Shocking revelations from Marvelous Man's widow.
[in Hebrew.]
Was Marvelous Man murdered? We will investigate the allegations tonight at ten [reporter in French.]
 Suicide or murder? The world demands answers.
The last 24 hours have shaken our planet to its core.
[sizzling.]
If you're right, then there's one question the world needs answered.
Who, if anyone, killed Marvelous Man? We need to hear from the Guardians of Justice, and specifically from Marvelous Man's second-in-command.
Knight Hawk, where are you? [intense music playing.]
[Knight Hawk.]
Computer, call the Guardians.
King Tsunami here.
Speed here.
Golden Goddess.
Mm.
Awsome Man present.
Sorry.
I'm eating a taco.
Blue-Scream online.
Black Bow here.
[Knight Hawk.]
With Marvelous Man gone, it's time to suit up, assume control of the Guardians, and protect the planet.
[man.]
Golden Goddess! [Knight Hawk.]
She's the princess of the god realm.
[man.]
The Speed! [Knight Hawk.]
The only person faster than Marvelous Man.
[man.]
Black Bow! [Knight Hawk.]
Expert marksman and reality star.
- [man.]
Blue-Scream! - [screaming.]
[Knight Hawk.]
Whose sonic scream contains immense power.
[man.]
King Tsunami! [Knight Hawk.]
Overlord of the oceans.
[man.]
Awsome Man! [Knight Hawk.]
Who possesses a magic word that gives him the power of seven gods.
Together, we form the Guardians of Justice.
With Marvelous Man gone, there's a power vacuum that could rip this world apart.
We can't have that happen.
Yeah.
How are we gonna do that? All of us combined are not equal to Marvelous Man.
Speak for yourself, human.
Oh, come on.
Don't fight.
You're a fucking fish.
What can you do? You can talk to fish.
"Oh, wow! I'm so fucking powerful!" Pathetic street whore.
I'm a king, and I demand respect! [Knight Hawk.]
Enough! You're supposed to be role models.
Heroes.
Try and act like it.
Blue-Scream's right.
None of us compare to Marvelous Man.
But if we work together as a team, we could save this world.
We can honor our fallen Guardian.
We could strive to be marvelous.
Everyone knows Marvelous Man didn't just protect a city or a town.
He protected the world.
Now that's on us.
Awsome Man, Speed, Golden Goddess, you're the only ones fast enough to handle an international crisis.
There's a squad of cyborg T-Rexes on the loose in Syria.
[roaring.]
Take them down and bring them to justice.
Consider it done.
[Knight Hawk.]
A massive mudslide has thousands trapped and dying.
Awsome Man, the Red Cross needs you in Thailand.
The Hawk drones will back you up with supplies.
[Hawk drone.]
Activate.
You can count on me.
[Knight Hawk.]
Speed, I need you to pick up Blue-Scream and drop him in LA.
A new street drug called "Mellow Devil" is causing people to lose their minds.
- We've got to extinguish the fires.
- You got it.
He can't do that alone.
I should go with him.
- I'll be fine.
Speed, let's go.
- I'm on my way.
[Knight Hawk.]
Wait, Speed! After you've dropped Scream in LA, I need you to get back here, because we've gotta get Black Bow to Peru.
Wait, wait, wait.
What am I, the Guardians' delivery boy? You're whatever the Guardians need you to be.
Now, move! And me? [shouts, grunts.]
[Knight Hawk.]
The Scottish Skull has hijacked an American submarine off the coast of New Zeamar.
[equipment powers down.]
[alarm blaring.]
Walker! How did you break this feed? Despite what you'd like to believe, Atticus, there are people smarter than you.
[suspenseful music playing.]
[Knight Hawk.]
Addison Walker.
She runs a private military group funded by a few dozen corporations.
Her objective? Maintain global economic stability at all cost.
[bullet ricochets.]
[Knight Hawk.]
She's playing chess and only she gets to see the board.
What do you want? As you know, Marvelous Man was leading negotiations for a worldwide nuclear disarmament.
Since his death, those negotiations have spun out of control.
[Knight Hawk.]
That sounds like your problem, not mine.
[groans loudly.]
Oh.
It's going to become everyone's problem soon.
Because of the questions surrounding Marvelous Man's death, every country is pointing the finger at one another.
China is saying Russia had him killed.
Iran and Iraq are sure the job was done by the Americans.
That doesn't even make sense.
The steps that lead us to war rarely do.
The only way this ends without an all-out nuclear holocaust is if you find out who really killed Marvelous Man.
[Knight Hawk.]
So you don't think it was a suicide? I don't.
But from what I hear, neither do you.
I don't have an opinion.
And I won't have an opinion until my investigation is completed.
Yes, but I know the problem is you're looking in the wrong place.
Are you fucking with me or what? You need to look at the Guardians themselves.
The Guardians? What do you know that I don't? [Walker.]
Time is running short.
Find the answer.
Or I'll arrest you and every one of your super friends before declaring martial law on the world.
[Knight Hawk sighs heavily.]
[electro pop music playing.]
[exhales, inhales.]
Knight Hawk to Guardians.
Complete your mission and report to the Hawk's Nest.
We do not need forever Honey, we've got now Tell me God is dead I'm safe, let's go to bed And think something, somehow Wake me when you're gone [cars honking.]
[sirens wailing.]
Jesus Christ! That's fucked up, man.
I know.
I know.
But think about it.
Marvelous Man is dead.
Right? Huh? So, you think if we wore his skin, we'd be bulletproof? I mean, I guess.
I-it's like a bulletproof jacket.
You know? It it still goes through.
It hurts like shit.
[officer 2 laughing.]
No, it doesn't! At least, I think it doesn't.
Shit.
I mean 'Cause his whole body is bulletproof.
It's impenetrable, man.
All right? If you wore his skin, you'd still be a doughboy with shit muscles.
[officer 2.]
Oh, fuck you.
Fuck you.
You know how much I've been lifting.
[officer 1.]
Yeah, yeah.
You're lifting beer and donuts, man.
- That still counts.
- [officer 1.]
Yeah.
In your world.
[officer 2.]
What's the count at? [officer 1.]
Three and a half.
Look at this one.
- [officer 2.]
Smiley face? - [officer 1.]
Uh-huh.
- [officer 2.]
Shit.
- [officer 1.]
Oh, well [officer 2.]
Another smiley face.
[officer 1.]
Oh, okay.
Look at this one here.
[officer 2.]
Fucking ground beef.
[officer 1.]
How's that wife of yours, man? [officer 2.]
She's good.
She's a little stressed out.
Kid had an accident.
You know? - [officer 1.]
Yeah? - [officer 2.]
Yeah.
[officer 1 scoffs.]
Hey, when it rains, it pours.
[officer 2.]
Tell me about it.
I'm missing that single life though.
[officer 1.]
Yeah.
Look at this one here.
The eyeball's out.
[officer 2.]
Oh.
[officer 1.]
Single life? You are missing it.
- Hey, I forgot to ask you - [officer 1.]
What? - [officer 2.]
Another smiley face.
- [officer 1.]
Yeah.
[officer 2.]
How was that how was that date the other night? [officer 1.]
What date? Oh, yeah! The one with the big old? [officer 2.]
Yeah, the tig old bitties.
Oh, man, she was Crazy, but she was nice.
[officer 2.]
Yeah.
I fucking love titties, man.
[officer 1.]
I know you do.
Oh.
Look at this.
Oh sh - Stinks! - [officer 2.]
That smells like shit, man.
- [officer 1.]
Oh, man! - [officer 2.]
Fucking maggots and shit.
[officer 1.]
Oh, yeah.
[unintelligible dialogue.]
[officer 1.]
Oh.
Look at this one.
[exhales, whispers.]
Shit.
Got a splitting headache, I guess.
I don't know.
That's disgusting.
[officer 1.]
Check this one out here.
- [officer 2.]
That's not right, man.
- [officer 1.]
Oh, man.
Faceless.
[helicopter blades whirring.]
[mysterious man laughs sinisterly.]
[sinister music playing.]
[gun fires.]