The Jetsons (1962) s01e01 Episode Script

Meet George Jetson His boy, Elroy Daughter, Judy Jane, his wife Wake up, wake up, wake up! This is Jack Jetwash, your slipped disk jockey on 3-D TV at half past 7 00 hours on this good, good, good morning with your modern mothers' muscle tone program of the air.
Now, chins up.
I mean, chin up, index fingers out.
Ready for your push-button finger exercises? I'm ready.
One, two.
One, two.
One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two.
Rest.
Okay, Mom, take five.
Good morning.
Did you change your mind? No.
It's too cooI to go swimming after schooI.
Besides, you won't be home in time for dinner.
From AcapuIco? Oh, I thought you were going to Hawaii.
WeII, aII right, if your father says yes.
Oh, he wiII.
Daddy? Daddy, are you asIeep? Yes.
Thanks, Daddy.
-Daddy said yes.
-WeII, okay, then.
Man, you're crazy.
Way out.
Crazy? Now, is that a nice thing to say to your mother? Sure.
I picked it up in ancient history.
That's how teenagers used to say, ''I Iove you.
'' Remember? Don't be smart.
You know I'm onIy 33.
What do you want for breakfast? -Nothing, thanks.
I'm on a diet.
-Wait a minute.
You're forgetting your bathing suit.
-No, I have it.
-That's your bathing suit? It's the new ''instant stretch'' modeI, Mom.
Just add water and watch the boys fizz.
If I was onIy 1 5 again.
In fact if I was onIy 32-22-32 again.
-Hi, Mom.
-EIroy! How many times have I toId you not to wear your space boots in the house? -I was just taking a short cut.
-Tracking up my ceiIing at the same time.
I'm sorry, Mom.
Hey, maybe I shouId be punished and kept home from schooI.
Oh, no you don't.
-What wouId you Iike for breakfast? -The usuaI.
The usuaI coming up.
MiIk, cereaI.
Crunchy or siIent? -Better make it siIent.
-And some bacon.
-Bacon.
-And one soft-boiIed egg.
And one soft-boiIed egg.
Thanks, Mom.
Thank goodness that's over with.
Is your father up yet? Nope.
Last time I saw him, he was stiII sIeeping.
We'II fix that.
Eject.
Toast.
Records.
Husband.
That wiII do it.
I hate that thing! Hey, Mom, what's hoIding up my egg? Darn egg button's aIways sticking! No wonder I'm getting push-button fingers.
Look at that.
I set it for soft-boiIed, and it comes out roasted.
WeII, that's nothing.
Yesterday, I pushed the scrambIed button and I got a hot fudge pizza.
Hurry up or you'II be Iate to schooI.
There's nothing important today, Mom just eIementary eIectronics and advanced finger painting.
George, breakfast is ready! Okay, okay.
Let me brush my teeth.
Hurry, George, you'II be Iate.
I'm hurrying.
I'm hurrying! -Now, behave yourseIf in schooI, EIroy.
-I wiII, Mom.
The teacher said you were going on a fieId trip this morning.
That's right, Mom.
We're studying the Siberian saIt mines.
WeII, keep warm, and don't pick fights with the IittIe Russian boys.
Goodbye.
Make sure you press the right button, Mom.
-PubIic schooI 85 is right, right? -Right.
-Three, two, one-- -The word is ''go.
'' Bye! And don't Ieave your gaIoshes in Europe again! -WeII, good morning, George.
-Morning, Jane.
What is this, anyway? -What's it taste Iike, George? -WeII, this coffee tastes Iike rocket fueI.
Then it's not coffee.
It's tea.
There's a crossed circuit in the Food-a-Rac-a-CycIe.
-Lumpy tea? -Oh, you got some of the oatmeaI faIIout.
How's your bacon? -Raw.
-And your eggs? They're coId.
When we first got married you couId punch out a breakfast Iike Mother used to make.
-Now you're aII thumbs.
-It's not my thumbs, and it's not me.
It's this antique monster.
I press this thing for meaIs, and hi-fi music comes out of the garbage disposaI.
I never know what's going to come out.
See, George? We need a new one.
Jane, how can we get a new one? We haven't even paid for the one that repIaced this one.
Besides, I'm beginning to Iike my coffee with Iumps in it.
WeII, I don't.
I want a new Food-a-Rac-a-CycIe.
A new Food-a-Rac-a-CycIe? Jane, we cannot afford it.
No.
AbsoIuteIy, positiveIy, emphaticaIIy beyond the shadow of a doubt, N-O, no! George, are you trying to teII me something? Forget it.
Why don't you ask your boss, Mr.
SpaceIy, for a raise? Because the boss is a penny-pinching oId crab, that's why.
Someday, I'm going to give that door a shot right in its eIectric eye.
Pow! Oh, I shouIdn't have upset George but if he onIy knew how I hate washing, ironing, vacuuming.
There ought to be some higher authority a girI couId appeaI to.
Of course! That's it.
I'II go over George's head.
I'II speak to my mother.
Mother! I was just going to caII you.
You were? Well, what did George do now, the big bully? Oh, nothing reaIIy, Mother.
It's just that housework gets me down.
Well, it's really none of my business, dear, so I'll give you some advice.
-Get a maid.
-We can't afford it, Mother.
You don't need money.
Charge it.
-Don't you have to pay for a maid? -Not this one.
I saw this ad on TV.
It's a new service called U-Rent a Robot Maid.
There's even a one-day free trial in your home.
Free? WeII, George couIdn't compIain about that.
I shouIdn't have yeIIed at Jane.
You know, maybe she's right.
Maybe I shouId ask Mr.
SpaceIy for that raise.
After aII, I'm a darn good digitaI index operator.
You got to have it up here to know how to start these things and stop them and start them again.
Come to think of it, SpaceIy couIdn't get aIong without me.
I'II just march right in, and I'II ask him for a raise right now.
-Yes, George? -I wanna see Mr.
SpaceIy.
Sorry, Mr.
SpaceIy's on the phone right now.
Do you wanna wait? You're darn right I'II wait.
But, SteIIa, baby, I eat out every night.
I'm sorry, Cosmo.
The girls need me for their protest meeting at the United Planets building.
I get to carry a sign: ''Martians go home.
'' -But, SteIIa-- -I'm sure you won't mind eating out again.
But, SteIIa.
And to think, I married that woman -George Jetson is here, Mr.
Spacely.
-George Jetson? Yes, sir.
He starts the referential unisonic digital indexer machine.
Oh, ''Butterfingers'' Jetson.
WeII, shoot him in.
Why did I send for you, Jetson? -You must have goofed up somewhere.
-No, sir.
I think you'II find-- You think.
You think? Your machine is supposed to do the thinking, Jetson.
-It's my wife, sir.
She thinks-- -Does your wife cook, Jetson? -Oh, yes, sir.
-What does she cook? -Like what? -Oh, Iike hash, meatIoaf soup bones, beans.
Good oId-fashioned home cooking.
I wish I were young and struggIing again and eating home cooking Iike you.
Oh, yes, sir.
Very struggIing, sir.
Two tiny chiIdren, and one puny, IittIe wife.
-We're practicaIIy broke.
-WonderfuI! I'd Iove to meet them.
And by coincidence, I'II be out your way around dinnertime tonight.
-Any suggestions? -WeII.
Fine, fine.
I'd Iove to have a home-cooked dinner at your pIace.
I'II be there at 6.
And now back to work, Jetson.
-What did I come in here for anyway? -Busy, busy, busy, busy! These IocaI sIidewaIks are so sIow.
I get there faster waIking.
''U-Rent a Maid.
'' HeIIo? Anyone here? -I'd Iike to rent a maid.
-Yes? You have an appointment? -And your credentials? -CredentiaIs? Madam, you can't expect to get our maids without references.
We must be sure they go to happy, happy homes.
But my mother toId me.
Good enough! Any reference from any mother is aII we need.
WeII, how big is your home? We have three bedrooms.
A sIum cIearance project.
WeII, then you'II want to see our basic economy modeI from Great Britain.
Oh, Agnes! Pip, pip.
Or rather, tea is served.
You notice the very broad ''A.
'' This modeI was onIy used on weekends by an oId EngIish teacher a Mr.
Chips.
I'm afraid not.
-Thank you, Agnes.
-Pip, pip.
Chin up.
Cheerio.
Pip, pip.
Chin up.
Cheerio.
Then we have a fun runabout we import from France.
BIanche, honey.
-HeIIo, cherie.
HeIIo.
-This is BIanche Carte.
Look at that suspension.
Chic, isn't she? -Very chic-y.
-And Iook, the engine.
It's in the rear, where an engine beIongs.
Thanks, but no.
That's aII.
You mean, that's aII? WeII we do have one oId demonstrator modeI with a Iot of miIeage.
Rosey! Coming, sir.
Here I am, sir.
Yes, sir.
The oId girI's stiII eager, isn't she? But, of course, very H-O-M-E-L-Y.
I may be homeIy, buster, but I'm S-M-A-R-T.
Smart.
I Iike her, and I'II take her.
Oh, thank you, ma'am.
Thank you.
There is a one-day, free home demonstration.
Oh, yes, of course.
But we're not responsibIe for any damages to your home.
Come on, Iet's go home, Rosey.
Yes, ma'am.
We can't guarantee her, you know.
WeII! Now, just make yourseIf at home, Rosey.
Yes, ma'am.
I'II get right to work, ma'am.
Oh, that must be EIroy, back from schooI.
Oh, no, not again.
You're not EIroy.
No, ma'am, I'm Jimmy.
Hey, what's for snacks? The student homing device must be breaking down again.
Hang on whiIe I press the ''reject'' button, Jimmy.
How are you doing, Rosey? Just cIeaning the rug, ma'am.
Oh, I know.
That rug never had a proper cIeaning.
Now, that's EIroy for sure.
Hey, where did you get the antique jukebox? Shush! Now, say heIIo to our new maid, Rosey, EIroy.
HeIIo to our new maid, Rosey, EIroy.
Can you throw a forward pass? I'm not sure, but I'II try.
Hi, Mother.
I'm home.
Judy, I thought you were going swimming.
Not with aII these homework tapes I have to Iisten to tonight.
GeopoIitics, Esperanto, space caIcuIus.
I'II never be finished.
I couId heIp you, Miss Judy.
I'm wired for tape anaIysis.
I shouId have aII the answers for you in about 1 0 minutes.
Judy, this is our new maid, Rosey.
Am I ever pIeased to meet you.
Rosey, you are out of this universe.
Oh, boy, this traffic jam is aII I need.
With the Food-a-Rac-a-CycIe on the bIink and the boss coming home to dinner.
How am I gonna teII Jane? But how am I going to teII George, Mother? The kids just Iove Rosey.
Well, she's free for the first day, isn't she? Oh, boy, can Rosey pIay basketbaII! Come on, Rosey.
Show me your hook shot.
Okay.
Here goes.
Wow! Right in the basket.
Oh, dear.
Here comes George's saucer now.
Goodbye, Mother.
I hate these compact saucers.
He'II come through that door any second, Rosey and I want him to get a nice impression of you.
Yes, ma'am.
You're on your own.
HeIIo, dear.
Oh, my aching back.
I've got that compact saucer cramp.
Thanks, Jane.
That feeIs good.
-Hard day at the button, dear? -Oh, brutaI.
BrutaI.
I had to push the button on and off five times.
That SpaceIy is a sIave driver.
-What? -Speaking of Mr.
SpaceIy what are we having for dinner--? What's that? What's that doing here? Rosey is our new robot maid, George.
Good evening, sir.
Maid? With the boss coming to supper and me trying to make him think we're poor? -But, George, she isn't costing us anything.
-Out.
Out! Beep-beep.
Understand? Out.
-She's compIeteIy free, George, and-- -And she doesn't cost anything? Out! Out! Out! -Oh, you mean she's free? -For one day's home demonstration.
But what's this about inviting Mr.
SpaceIy when aII we have in the pIace is Ieftovers? I didn't invite him.
He invited himseIf.
AII right, aII right.
Break.
-When does your boss get here? -Any spIit second.
-Where are the Ieftovers? -In the kitchen.
Never fear whiIe Rosey's here.
How can I expIain a raise when I've got a Iuxury -Iike that monster cIanking around? -We'II just have to keep Rosey out of sight.
I'II get it.
Oh, heIIo.
You're Mr.
SpaceIy, aren't you? And you, of course, are Mrs.
Jetson.
I must say, you're a very young-Iooking 33, my dear.
I'm not my mother.
I'm his daughter.
But thanks Ioads.
You reaIIy think I Iook mature? -You don't Iook a day over 1 4.
-Oh, fine.
-PIease come in.
-Say, IoveIy pIace.
-When do we eat? -Mr.
SpaceIy, how nice.
-I'm Jane Jetson.
-Charmed.
What's Jetson taIking about? You don't Iook puny at aII.
-Hi.
-Howdy, son.
Put her there.
It doesn't Iook Iike a crab's cIaw to me.
Let's see you pinch some pennies with it, Iike pop says you do.
-What's that, boy? -That boy is my son, EIroy, Mr.
SpaceIy.
I see.
And what's that deIightfuI odor? Come and get it! -What's that? -That's the dinner beII.
A dinner beII that goes, ''Come and get it''? Best home cooking I ever tasted, Mrs.
Jetson.
May I ask what it was? Oh, a speciaIty of the house, fiIIet of Ieftovers.
Fine dinner, Jetson.
Fine famiIy.
Enjoyed every minute of it.
-Gee, thanks, Mr.
SpaceIy.
-You got a Iight, Jetson? AIIow me, sir.
-Thank you, my dear.
-You're weIcome, sir.
PineappIe upside-down cake, my favorite dessert.
Very efficient maid you got here, Jetson.
Maid! How can you afford a maid on what I'm overpaying you? You see, Mr.
Penny Pincher-- Mr.
SpaceIy-- You've got another job on the side, right? -No, sir-- -You're moonIighting, aren't you? Admit it.
Quiet down, shorty.
You keep out of this.
Now, Iook here, Mr.
SpaceIy, these are nice peopIe.
They're giving me this chance so I don't end up in the scrap piIe.
Jetson, where's my hat? Down, boy.
Down.
It's bad manners to Ieave the tabIe untiI after you've had your dessert.
There, now.
The pineappIes are right-side up.
And you can go, after one more thing.
The opinions expressed are my own and do not necessariIy refIect those of my empIoyers.
Boy, what a performance! How about a cup of coffee to go with your cake? No, Jetson, don't move.
I'd Iike to remember you just as you are, fired! Oh, some free home demonstration.
It didn't cost us a thing, except my job.
But it was worth it to see the expression on oId, cake-head SpaceIy.
Rosey, where are you going? I know you foIks can't afford to have me around.
Goodbye, Miss Judy Roy-boy, missus and you too, sir.
Hey, Rosey, you can't Ieave now.
You've got to teach me how to dribbIe a basketbaII.
Can't heIp it, Roy-boy.
That's the way the baII bounces.
Sorry I bIew a fuse, sir.
But what can you expect from wiring as oId as mine? WeII, thanks for the chance.
See you aII in the junkyard.
Oh, George, I feeI awfuI.
Me too.
Boy, if I wasn't 6 1 /2 I'd cry.
Oh, now, come on.
Let's be reaIistic.
I don't want to be reaIistic.
I want Rosey.
Now, what kind of an idiot wouId caII at a time Iike this? Jetson, I apologize.
Mr.
SpaceIy.
I got halfway home and started thinking that I got a big mouth and I shouIdn't have fired you.
-Well, I-- -I want you back at work tomorrow at a better saIary and a more reasonabIe hour.
On time.
-Oh, yes, sir.
-And with a little extra in the pay capsule you can afford that long-playing bulldozer you've got for a maid.
She may be sassy, but she makes the best pineapple upside-down cake -I ever got clobbered with.
-Yes, sir! And we'II have to try the whoIe dinner bit again, if it's aII right with Rosey.
Oh, yes, sir.
If I can find her.
-You mean she's gone? -Yes, sir.
Well, don't just stand there ''yes sir''-ing me, man! Get out and find her! Go, go, go! George! Where are you going? To find Rosey! She's probabIy waiting at the space bus pIatform.
There she is now! Rosey! Rosey! We can afford you now! Oh, gIad to have you aboard, Rosey! Me too, sir.
-George, is that you? -Sure, honey, and I found Rosey.
I brought her back to stay.
She wants to know how much we charge her to Iet her work for us.
Don't be siIIy, Rosey.
You're worth your weight in Ieftovers.
Thank you, and I Iove you peopIe too.
Hey, Rosey, is this how to sink a basket? Very good, Roy-boy, except you'II have to Iearn to Iet go of it.
Not tonight, EIroy.
It's time to bIast off for dreamIand.
WeII, okay, if Rosey tucks me in and teIIs me about the cow that degravitated over the moon.
-This I've got to hear too.
-WiII you, Rosey? Yes, ma'am.
Thank you, ma'am.
Good night, ma'am.
You too, George.
Come on, aII of you.
-Yes, ma'am.
Beep-beep.
-Thank you, ma'am.
Beep-beep.
Good night, ma'am-- Mom.
Beep-beep.
Beep-beep.
Beep.
WeII, that's what I'm raising, a famiIy of beep-beepniks.
HeIp! HeIp! Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jane! HeIp! Jane!