The King of the Machos (2024) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[music on music box]
[music stops]
Happy 18th Carlota!!
- [parent 1] I took it out and didn't
- Shorty!
- Oh, you look so handsome.
- [sighs]
Want a beer?
No, you know that I get
very buzzed very quickly.
[clippers buzzing]
[laughs]
That's it, good.
[chuckles] Hey, Grandpa,
don't you want a glass for your beer?
No, it all fits in here. Don't worry.
- [parent 2] Dad!
- Cheers.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
[parent 2] Welcome, welcome.
[guest] Thank you very much.
[parent 2] Eat up, it's all delicious.
Carlota?
[Shorty] Daughter?
[band playing music]
Wait, no, no, stop, stop, please.
[laughs] That's a cool costume, cousin,
but you went a little far
with the sausage.
I have something very important
to tell you.
I'm not Carlota anymore.
From now on, I'm Charly.
Daughter, your guests are all here.
You're joking, right?
You're playing around, aren't you?
No, Dad.
This is the realest thing ever.
And since you're here,
I want you to know that I've known
- for a long time that I'm a man.
- [crowd gasping]
And I couldn't wait any longer
to be who I really am.
[crowd whispering]
Now what? Should we start up again?
[Shorty] No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You and I will talk later, eh?
We'd better be going, Carlotita.
Get well soon.
I'm already better, Aunt.
Thanks for coming.
- Take care. See you later.
- [grandparent] Goodness.
My granddaughter Carlota is taking
her time,
but when she comes down,
I'll introduce you to her.
You'll see that she's a cutie.
Grandpa, it's me.
- Now I'm Charly.
- [swallows]
- Charly?
- Yes.
Oh, nice to meet you, Charly.
I'm Grandpa Pepe.
My granddaughter won't be long, eh?
Don't leave.
You'll like her!
- You'll like her. [laughs]
- [chuckles] Grandpa!
[sighs] Oh.
[laughs]
Well, if you look on the bright side,
they're already getting you a girlfriend.
Hey, happy 18th, little brother.
Hey, my clothes look better
on you than on me. [laughs]
- You look great.
- [Charly] Thank you.
Although Mom doesn't think so.
[sibling] They didn't see it coming.
Honestly, nobody could have imagined it.
Give them time.
- The news came out of nowhere.
- [laughs]
Bro, I've got to go,
but I'll call you later, hmm?
Enjoy your birthday, brother.
Take care. I love you.
- Bye.
- I love you.
- See you later.
- Bye.
Well, in light of our huge success,
we can move on directly
to phase two: the plan.
[Charly chuckles]
Oh, give me a hug.
- [sighs] Congratulations, Charly.
- [both chuckle]
THE KING OF THE MACHOS
[vendor] Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream!
Don't be discouraged, eh, my Charly?
Just because I got it
from the start doesn't mean
that everyone else was going to.
And we already knew that.
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Why do you think I can't wait
until we leave for college?
Oh, I know.
Can you imagine?
You and me in Mexico City,
breaking all the rules,
- meeting a bunch of guys. And girls.
- [both chuckle]
And the most important thing,
we'll be far away from here.
- Far away.
- [sighs] This is getting in my way.
Let's go. Come on, it's all good.
Carlota? No shit.
What's your costume supposed to be?
Your poor hair.
No, this isn't Carlota anymore.
Now, it's Charly.
Gender is something very fluid nowadays,
and now, Charly is a man.
Fluid? What? What the fuck?
You and I kissed at Ricky's party.
- What?
- It was a long time ago, I swear.
We all make mistakes, Mario, even me.
Hey, does that mean that
That you kissed a guy.
Hey, fucking freak.
I'm not a fag.
Well, as I recall, you're the one
who insisted on kissing me.
Hey, enough, love, enough. Calm down.
Get away from that slut.
[Charly kisses]
- Fucking lesbian.
- Enough. Calm down.
- [parent] Mario!
- Mommy.
I asked you to bring
the tortillas two hours ago.
- I swear I was
- Get inside. You know what?
Enough. Get inside. And you go and study.
- But they're my friends.
- Come on. Don't talk to me about friends.
Those aren't friends, asshole.
Get inside. You're done.
Why didn't you tell me about Mario?
I thought you only had bad streaks,
but never bad taste.
That was Carlota.
- Don't blame me.
- Oh, really? How convenient.
[reporter] And as you already know,
dear residents of Tunas,
the most anticipated time
of year has arrived, when the entire town
of San José de las Tunas gathers
with great passion to watch
its young men compete to win
the town's title of "The Most Macho."
Registration for The King
of the Machos is open
and the contest will begin in one week.
They're going to start
the Neanderthal parade.
[reporter] Our young men who are 18 will
be under a lot of pressure for a month.
A month of proving that they are men
to the core.
A month in which their families shall
dream that their young man
will be given the award of being
the most macho in the whole town.
- So they'll go from thug to the best thug.
- [chuckles]
In addition, the name
of the winner will be immortalized
on a plaque on the monument
behind me next to
the formidable figure
of Anastasio Castillo, who was the winner
of the first King of the Machos
way back in 1906.
And speaking of Anastasio Castillo,
I'm here today with his great-grandson,
Mr. Lázaro Castillo, and his family.
Mr. Castillo, how are you feeling?
How do you expect me to feel, dear Inés?
Excited, now that my boy here is going
to raise the exalted name
of Castillo in this competition, a source
of pride to all residents of Tunas.
How about you, León, how do you feel?
Nervous, excited?
Honestly, I'd like to already be
in the contest
and prove to everyone
that the Castillos are the most macho
- of them all.
- [giggles]
- [Lázaro] That's my boy.
- [chuckles]
They'll realize who the Castillos are,
what they're made of.
- All hot air and beer.
- [both chuckle]
[crowd cheering]
Good afternoon, ma'am.
Don Ponciano, forgive me, please.
The rooster next to my house got sick
- I don't care.
- if you can imagine
This is the last time.
Next time, you're outta here, got it?
Go keep an eye on your cousin,
she's looking to hook up.
- Go on, kid.
- I know.
Hey!
They're saying you're hooking up, cousin.
Who's your guy?
What's wrong with you?
Don't you recognize him?
- You're kidding. Carlota!
- [Charly chuckles] Uh, no.
[Marquito] Ah. No wonder I was never,
ever attracted to you.
Marquito, you're breaking my heart.
[Charly, friend 1 laugh]
Come on, bring me the surprise already.
- [Marquito] It's because she's jealous
- Today is Charly's birthday!
Patrons of the Scorpion,
today is Charly's 18th birthday!
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, enough.
- [cheers]
Look, you'll never be this young again
in your life, so you've got to celebrate.
Eh.
[friend 1, Marquito] This is
The morning song ♪
That King David sang ♪
- [friend 1] To the lovely boys ♪
- [Marquito] To the lovely girls boys ♪
[friend 1, Marquito] We'll sing it
To you ♪
- [Marquito] Wake up, Carlota ♪
- [friend 1] Wake up, Charly ♪
- His name's Charly, wake up, Charly ♪
- His name's Charly, wake up ♪
Be quiet. Enough, enough.
Yeah.
Friend, make a wish.
Yeah. Okay.
- Bravo!
- [cheering]
You're going to hell.
Thanks! I'll see you there.
Take care.
- Wow. That was a good takedown.
- [chuckles]
- That was great, bro.
- Thanks.
Well, then, cheers to your new life.
Cheers to that.
- Cheers.
- [Marquito] Cheers.
[parent 2 crying]
Why is she doing this to us, Shorty?
What did we do wrong?
Nothing. Calm down.
Hey!
Who's out there?
Grandpa, it's okay.
What are you doing there?
Ah, boy! What's going on?
Did you find my granddaughter?
Grandpa, I am your granddaughter.
I mean, your grandson.
[laughing] What are you saying, kid?
- You'd better go to bed, go on now.
- [both chuckle]
[phone rings]
[sibling] Well, you're alive, Charly.
They didn't lynch you.
They haven't burned me alive yet.
But several people have
already wished me to hell.
That's rough, bro. [inhales deeply]
But you need to know
that there's more hell to come.
But I'm here, okay?
Just send me a text and I'm here.
I love you.
Okay.
[bell tolling]
"ANDY's" Meat Market
Oh, Estelita.
Estelita, good morning.
Oh, she's No, forget about her.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I heard about Carlotita's craziness.
- [Estelita sighs]
- How awful for you, honey.
I don't know how you can stand
something like that.
Thank you very much.
Hey, and Is it true that she's got
I mean, you know.
I mean, down there, does she have
Excuse me.
What you needed was a firm hand.
That's why this is happening.
[patron] Alonso.
Alonso!
Hey, what are you doing to your women
at home that's got them so confused?
[group laughing]
Why not bring your daughter
here to have a few drinks?
- Now that she's grown a pair of balls.
- [laughing]
[Ponciano] Hey, leave my compadre alone.
Can't you see that his daughter can take
more than him?
Look, my compadre, well, he's a bit of a
fag when it comes to drinking, am I right?
Okay, that's enough, all right?
What's enough?
- Twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four.
- [León grunting, panting]
One more. Twenty-five.
Lázaro, we're going to start breakfast.
Oh, yes!
- Hey, where are you going?
- I haven't had breakfast, Dad.
You sound like an old lady,
complaining all the time.
Do you want to win the contest or not?
Go on, you have still one more set.
Go on!
Lázaro, can you let the baby eat?
And can you shut up and stop spoiling him?
This is men's business.
You're right.
If I had those puny arms,
I wouldn't stop training. [chuckles]
[Lázaro] Keep it up. One
[sibling] What?
- two
- [sibling] He's a lady.
- [parent 2] Very bad.
- [Lázaro] three,
four.
Strength, asshole. Five.
TEJEDA HOSTEL
["2 Be Loved" playing on headphones]
WELCOME TO THE KING
OF THE MACHOS CONTEST!
- [Charly] Hi, Dad.
- [sighs]
Hi.
What happened to you?
Oh, you know how clumsy your dad is.
Well, I I tripped and I fell.
You're telling me that you fell on an egg?
Yes, what happened was,
I was carrying all the stuff
from the store and, well well
I fell and I tripped. [chuckles]
And where's the stuff you bought?
What do you mean, "Where's the stuff?"
It's all over the ground.
That's where it stayed.
It was all ruined there.
Don't worry, Daughter.
Sorry. [sighs] Son.
My My brave one, my champion.
I'm sorry if if sometimes I make
mistakes with this,
it's just force of habit.
Dad, it's okay.
It's okay.
Can I go now? Um Because I'm in a hurry.
- Yes. Yes, don't worry. Of course.
- Yeah? Yeah? Great.
Sure. See you.
[friend 1] I have a new follower on my
channel and I'm thanking them personally.
OFFICIAL CHANNEL
Seven followers?
Mm-hmm.
Really?
[music playing on radio]
Of course. You've got to start somewhere.
No, sure. You've got to start somewhere.
[announcer] Good afternoon.
We remind all residents of Tunas
that registration for
The King of the Machos is open.
Don't forget to register your machos
- at The Cowboy Corral.
- [Charly chuckles]
Look, even though they're a bunch
of idiots, I don't care, as long as
this hostel fills up
with handsome foreigners
like last year, I'm
[singsongy] happy, happy.
Yes, you're happy.
[normal voice] But who washes
their sheets? Huh?
- You.
- Exactly.
Got it.
[friend 2] Pass it, pass it, dude.
Come on, dude. [laughs]
León, León, León, León, León!
Ah, so, what you want is to abandon me.
Do I get it now?
Can you imagine this whole flow
traveling through Europe?
[laughing]
This time they'll listen to me.
- Charly, do you think it's worth it?
- That's why this town is the way it is.
[laughing] Oh, Carlota, I'm sorry.
You were sucking on that corn so well.
[group laughs]
You wanted it.
That's why you made me drop it.
- Isn't that right, León?
- [group] Ooh!
What's wrong with you, idiots?
- Let's take another street.
- Where are you going?
Why don't you stay and play, huh?
It's gonna be great.
What are you thinking, dude?
- These old broads can't play with us.
- [León laughs]
But don't you see that now Carlota's
just another dude like you and me? Hmm?
What do you say?
Okay, fine.
[chuckles] Damn right.
- You're on their team.
- No, Charly.
Don't play their game.
- It's fine.
- [León] Hey, you, you're out.
- [group laughs]
- [León] Go on.
Just so you know,
we play here with our shirts off.
I mean, you won't have
a problem with that, right?
- [group laughs]
- You'd like to see that, asshole.
The thing is, we truly are machos
and we're not ashamed to show it.
- Right, guys?
- Yeah, bro, she should take it off, right?
- Enough.
- Yeah, right?
- Take it off.
- [León] Yeah.
Take it off, take it off!
Well, I could.
But honestly, I'm not interested in
pleasing a bunch of Neanderthals like you.
Those are the rules.
If you agree, fine, and if not, fuck you.
- Huh? Huh?
- No, no, no.
Don't force him. Let him take it off!
Hey, don't touch me!
No! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!
Oh!
[group laughing]
Good, good, good, good, good.
[friend 3] Ooh! [laughing]
Hey, León?
What did they do to you as a child?
Not so macho? [laughing]
You cry like a girl!
Go and play with your dolls, phenom!
[group laughing]
Hey, I've had it up to here
with that bastard
and his little band of macho assholes.
Me too, but they are who they are, Charly.
Yeah, they are who they are
because we let them.
But I'd fucking love to stop them
in their tracks.
And why not?
Show them what you're made of, Charly.
Like you always have.
Oh, I'm not like that.
Yes, you are.
Did you forget Jacinto from second grade?
He shoved you in the Nativity play.
You were so mad, that you told him
his parents were Santa Claus.
That's not true, liar!
[children laugh]
[Charly] Well, somebody had to tell him.
What about Rebeca?
Did you forget how you ruined her life
in fifth grade?
Who's Rebeca, dude?
The one who called you a tomboy
because of your Messi jersey.
- You told her she was adopted.
- Really?
Well, someone was going
to have to tell her.
Her parents?
Someone was going to have to tell her,
and I was just the messenger of truth.
Oh, really? And since when are you called
"Charly the Avenger"?
Since forever, you know.
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
- You've always been a vengeful asshole
- [laughs]
and you never let them step on you.
Fine. Okay. Fine.
- Vengeance is sweet.
- Yes, it's very sweet.
[announcer] We remind all residents
of Tunas that registration
for the King of the Machos is open.
THE KING OF THE MACHOS
I have to hit that asshole León
where it hurts the most.
[announcer] We remind all residents
of Tunas that registration
for the King of the Machos is open.
It'd be cool if you could win the King
of the Machos award from under him.
Look, he swears that he's already won it.
[announcer] Registration for The King
of the Machos is now open.
Don't forget to register your machos
at The Cowboy Corral.
HELP US CROWN THE KING
OF THE MACHOS
[Estelita] Get out, spirit.
Get out. Leave this room.
Leave. Go away.
[mutters, sighs]
Almighty God, merciful God, I ask you
for your daughter, Carlota, return her
to the path of faith, restore her
to your flock, I beg you, please.
Get out, spirit!
- Mom, what are you doing?
- Oh, Daughter.
Are you for real?
[inhales deeply] Well, I'm here, praying,
asking God to help you.
To help me to do what?
For you to repent for your decisions
and return to be who you are,
a lovely young woman, precious.
Mom, I don't repent of anything.
What's more
[drawer opens]
Take all this clothing. I don't need it.
Not now, not ever.
No, no, no. You should keep it.
You should keep it. You'll need it.
You'll see that this will blow over
and you'll go back to normal.