The Loch (2017) s01e01 Episode Script

Episode 1

1 Hurry! Hurry! Hurry! - Sweep! - Sweep! Sweep hard! Hard! - Sweep! Sweep! - Hard! Sweep! - Sweep! - Sweep! - Sweep! Yes! - Yes! Yes! (BOTH) Yes! - Can we get a drink now? - Yes! - That is rank! - What did you expect? - Chanel No.
5? - Evie, keep it down! Aye, keep it down, Kieran.
Place could be crawling with Feds.
What's that comin' over the hill? (ALL) Is it a monster? Is it a monster? What's that comin' over the hill? Is it a monster? Is it a monster? - Did you win? - Handed their arses to them.
Way to go! - You managed to escape? - For once.
- Hey, I'm always up for a night out.
- Yeah.
"Always" as in "never".
I'll tell you why I'm doing better than you.
- You've got a bigger boat.
- No.
Sonar.
The first thing the tourists ask: "Does your boat have sonar?" So why are you selling it, then? Underwater drone.
I ordered it this morning.
Of course, Annie thinks we need a new car.
Which we do.
So you want me to buy your sonar? You're working Loch Ness.
It'll pay for itself.
If there was something down there I might think about it, but Leighton, maybe you just don't want to see it.
So what do you reckon? Leighton? He doesn't fancy me.
I just heard him saying "I'm getting a semi-on for Mhari.
" Semillon.
It's a white wine.
- Oh, you're so funny! - Might be nice for Dessie.
Man about the house.
Be nice to have someone around the house to talk to.
I can hardly get a word out of my son.
Do you think he might be Say it.
Straight.
You're a cheeky bitch! - What about Evie? - What? What about her? Well, going all the way to Australia to get away from you.
That's not definite.
Jonjo (Yelps) How's it looking? Er, tail needs to be longer.
Evie, look.
I've got a seal's willy bone! - Jonjo - Is it a boy monster or a girl? Ssh.
I heard something.
Oh, is it the Feds? (BOTH CHUCKLE) (CHUCKLES) Why did you let me drink so much? You're off tomorrow.
Relax.
- Do you think Leighton fancies you? - Leighton? Do you not see the way he looks at you? How could he not fancy you? What do you think the monster's doing now? Well, it's nocturnal.
Probably getting ready to hunt.
- (MIMICS SUDDEN GROWL) - (YELPS AND LAUGHS) Idiot! (TEXT ALERT) Can I grab that? 'Morning, Mum.
Beautiful day.
' - Morning, Mum.
Can I grab that? - Surprised you're up.
I'm surprised you are.
Rolling in half past drunk.
- What is it? - Nothing.
- Come on - Mum.
Is it a boy? Yeah, Mum, it's a boy.
Evie.
Have a good day.
(PIANO PLAYING) (PLAYS DISCORDANT NOTE) You're doing great, sweetheart.
Keep going.
(STOPS PLAYING) I think you might be making her nervous.
Am I making you nervous, Isla? No.
(RESUMES PLAYING) (FALTERS) (RESUMES) "We peer out at the world through holes in a mask"? Do we, Dessie? Are these your deeper-most thoughts? - Give me it.
- Give it back to him.
- Big man.
Baws finally drop? - Prick.
"The Shadow demands the thrill of fangs and claws, the dog within going wild after a lifetime on the leash.
" Anyone? Carl Jung.
Ah, the only student who knows is the one who's leaving halfway through her course.
So, what do we know about Carl Jung? Mr Baxter? - Me? - Yeah.
Absolutely SFA.
(SCATTERED CHUCKLING) OK.
So, let's embark on a voyage of discovery, shall we? I'm sorry? There's not going to be any more music lessons.
- What? Is this because - I'm I don't need to explain myself.
Your wife promised Isla I'd be kept on.
This is a Christian household.
- I don't understand.
I - Have you listened to that? - Some of it.
- So, Isla's nine.
We were talking about harmony.
It's filth.
And you're a hypocrite.
I taught Bethan McGrellish.
Don't worry, I won't betray a confidence.
Hey.
Hey! You call me a hypocrite and you walk away? Do you think that's the end of it? (PHONE RINGS) - It's Frank.
- It's my day off.
Frank.
Good morning.
Is it? Put on STV news.
Tell me what kind of a morning it is.
Residents of Lochnafoy and .
.
woke to the sad news that the Loch Ness Monster is dead.
That's you fekked! The bones of Nessie were found washed up this morning on the bonny bonny banks of the loch.
Frank? I'm watching the report.
I'm not sure what you want me to do.
It's a bloody health hazard.
Get it incinerated.
But, Frank, what about the scientific value? Aye, aye (LINE GOES DEAD) He hung up.
JOURNALIST: .
.
Officer Jason Denny.
So, Officer Denny, exactly what do you think this is behind you then? Er, well, I'm no expert but er, I suppose it could be some kind of marine life.
A type of plesiosaur perhaps.
Er, yeah, possibly.
I mean, you can see what kind of looks like flippers.
I can see a bit of pig and cow and a seal's boabie.
Off, please.
Stop making an arse of yourself.
Start filling these.
Er, hi.
Excuse me, would you mind if I had a quick word Thanks, Kirsty Wark, I'll take it from here.
Any of youse want to help? Didn't think so.
Off you go! No more selfies.
You think this is a crime scene? You still here? You've taken your pictures, now please leave.
Thank you! See you later.
Everybody, off you go! Yes, go! Walk faster, please.
Thank you.
That's it, one foot in front of the other.
Well done.
The first recorded sighting of the monster was by St Columba in AD 565.
My first sighting was at the age of 10.
I was swimming about half a mile off Foyers Point when I started getting pulled beneath the waves by a strong undertow.
I looked down, and saw this huge black shape about 20 foot long, moving beneath me.
(HORN BLASTS) Coming up on the starboard side is a rival tour.
The owner is a non-believer, so you're invited to jeer the infidel.
- Go on, give it some.
- (JEERING) You need to see this! - How's it looking? - One of my customers showed it me.
Evie, look I've got a seal's willy bone! I thought you'd want to know.
(BEEP) We should be wearing masks.
For disguise? For the smell.
Aye, right.
Of course.
- Annie? - Oh, morning, Ken.
- We think these might be yours.
- Eh, eh Yeah, I saw the news.
That would violate about 700 regulations.
Is Jonjo at college? You think my son would do this? This is not a criminal investigation.
Jonjo's had his moments but he's got his head down now.
(SIGHS) I really don't fancy putting this back in the van.
- Yeah, I nearly heaved like three times.
- Yeah.
Would you mind? Follow me.
Have you got a phone? There's a man fallen here.
Annie, it's someone you know.
Oh, God.
Niall Why do they do it? There was a guy last week on Ben Nevis in flip-flops.
We're Mountain Rescue, not the mortuary service.
He taught Evie.
That his? Yeah, it was next to his body.
Look, just just leave it.
DS Redford to Control.
I'm at the foot of Carn Mhor.
I recognise the deceased as Niall Swift.
Require full scenes of crime.
Severe head injuries.
Dr Marr attending.
Annie? Full scenes of crime? - You think it's accidental? - The guy took a header.
Look That's not accidental.
We flew over in the Seahawk about half an hour ago.
What did you see? There was nothing out of the ordinary.
It's a bad business.
So you run here from the college? Yeah, every lunchtime.
Did you see anybody? No, not on my run.
After I found him, I borrowed a phone from a woman.
You get her name? Yeah.
She gave me her details.
Life extinct.
Inform the Procurator Fiscal.
Do you think someone killed him? Suspicious death.
Get the tape.
Set up a cordon.
So how many murders have you worked? (CHUCKLES) This is Lochnafoy.
Not that many.
More than ten? None.
If you must know.
Right.
Should I go and get my sleeping bag? What? You know, like, pull an all-nighter? Jason, the body's at the mortuary.
Until we get the pathologist's results there's nothing we can do.
Oh.
What? Niall's phone wasn't on him.
I thought it would be in here.
Why would he do that? (TEXT ALERT) How's it looking? The tail needs to be longer.
- Evie - Great.
.
.
a seal's willy bone! Hey.
Did you get my message about Niall Swift? Yeah, unbelievable.
Just - How's madam? - A bit upset.
Yeah, I'm a bit upset.
Evie I saw your wee film on YouTube.
Yeah, I've talked to her about it.
A man we all really liked is dead and you two are on about a stupid joke? I will be on about it until you show me you've wised up.
- Not what Dad said.
- Oh, no? What did Dad say? - I never said anything.
- You did.
I said it was a good day for takings.
Because of what we did.
Best day this year.
Down to me.
Well done.
You know the worst thing about today? Dr Marr acting like it was no big deal.
- Niall taught Marr's wee girl.
- Did he? Said Marr always made him feel uncomfortable.
Not the only one.
(DOORBELL RINGS) Is Kieran at home? I'm a friend.
From college.
He's with his brother.
Can I say hi? In you come.
(KNOCK AT DOOR) Somebody to see you, Kieran.
This is why you don't invite anyone round.
My mum told me.
Does your mum know everyone's business? Pretty much.
Cop thing.
She never stops.
Did you hear about my piano teacher? He died.
They think it was a climbing accident.
Sorry.
Can I do something to help? You wanna take him roller-blading? I could trim his fingernails.
There's some scissors in the drawer there.
Jordan .
.
do you mind if I tell Evie what happened? Does he respond? Like blink or something? Not yet.
Stop a second.
He was a Scots Guard.
After his last tour, he had an aneurysm.
Before you moved here.
Yeah.
The doctors took ages to diagnose Locked-In Syndrome.
We had to fight to stop them turning off his life support.
He squeezed my hand.
Oh, my God.
It's just a spasm.
(MOBILE PHONE RINGING) DCI Quigley.
Today? Well, I've got my interview today OK.
Well, I appreciate that.
Who's in charge up there? Frank Smilie? No.
No problem with that.
OK.
Frank Smilie You're right.
Niall Swift's fall wasn't an accident.
Inverness, come on.
FRANK: The Detective Superintendent's picked his Senior Investigating Officer.
I always knew the bastard hated me, I just didn't know how much.
He's picked Lauren Quigley.
DCI? Glasgow Cathedral Street? English.
I was her Sergeant when she started out.
Fresh out of the box, thought she was Serpico.
(CLEARS THROAT) I'm aware of your presence, Frank.
There's no need to bark.
- DS Redford, you were the first officer? - Yes, ma'am.
You didn't find any long metal implements at the scene, did you? Part of the pre-frontal cortex is missing.
And judging by the blood pooled in the skull, it was removed via the nasal cavity while the victim was still alive.
Maybe his brain was hoicked out through his nose.
In broad daylight.
You've a cold-blooded predator in your town.
I'll be bringing in my own team tonight, which, given the slightly unconventional MO, will include Blake Albrighton.
He's a forensic psychologist.
Oh, I know who he is.
- This your first homicide, Frank? - No.
That's right, there was that woman up in Park Circus.
- Wasn't my first.
- It was mine.
Bollocks.
QUIGLEY: How well did you know Niall Swift? He came to our house once a week for about three years.
- To teach piano? - Yeah, he was a decent guy.
Liked a bit of goss.
Enough to get him killed? It was pretty innocuous.
Did he tell you who he was sleeping with? No.
He was there to teach my daughter.
Tight little town, gay man.
How did that work? It worked fine.
Here, you contribute, you're in.
- Everybody loved him.
- Well, somebody didn't.
- All right? - Hiya.
The beauty of nature.
It bores the living shit out of me.
Craig Craig, what happened to you yesterday, you need to talk about it.
No, I don't.
You found a dead body.
You were white as a sheet when you came home.
Craig, please Look, I just need some time on my own.
Don't shut me out.
(DOOR SHUTS) (HE LOCKS IT) - Any special significance to this area? - No.
Suicide spot? Meeting place for lovers? Doggers' paradise? It wasn't a coincidence, was it? I'm guessing Swift and our man arranged to be here.
- Have you got his phone? - He didn't have it with him.
- Who found him? - Craig Petrie.
Head of Lochnafoy College.
OK, we'll make Petrie a priority.
Any other locals I should know about? One.
Out on licence.
Leighton Thomas.
So, he ties him down, a fit and able-bodied man.
Does the trick with the brain.
Heaves him off the cliff, all in broad daylight.
Talk about high-risk.
The grass there - Deer do that? - Deer don't come through here.
Thank you.
Local paper.
Came out yesterday.
Extend the cordon to take in the whole area.
You can tell the SOCO, get himself down here.
Yes, ma'am.
- Why would anybody go in there? - Hide? Mountain Rescue flew over just before the body was found.
I found something on Carn Mhor.
I can't say what, but the SIO wants me to be part of the team.
Annie, you're talking about somebody we both knew.
Yeah.
All I'm saying is, the SIO's bringing in Blake Albrighton.
- Who? - Blake Albrighton, Alan.
- You read his book.
- Did I? Forensic psychologist.
He caught the Queensferry killer, the crossbow guy in Bordeaux.
- Oh, yeah.
Clever guy.
Tell me over lunch.
- I can't.
- Come on, an hour or two.
- Alan, I need to go.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON CAR STEREO) - New people.
That was fast.
- Oh, yes.
See, there's been a murder Oh, very good.
Experimenting with sarcasm.
Can we have a word? What's happened? That was among the crap found on the beach.
What you have here is a human heart.
Something's had a wee chew at it.
It's gamey.
I'd estimate it was removed a week to ten days ago.
Brains, hearts What next, Annie? PC Denny had the area around the bones cordoned off.
It was my decision to incinerate all foreign material on the shore.
He said he didn't mention the heart in case he got a bollocking.
I'm sorry he felt like that.
And the pranksters? John Joseph Patterson, Kieran Whitehead, Evelyn Redford? My daughter.
Have you any idea how bad this looks? - Have you disinfected that? - Yeah.
It stinks.
Do it again.
Frank.
I'm guessing this ain't good.
Is that the van they used to get the stuff to the beach? Yeah.
Jonjo, son.
Could you leave that just now? I'd give my right ball for a cup of tea.
OK.
The heart you brought in - Human.
- Male.
Over 50, apparently.
- Not yours? - No, I checked.
If you could keep that to yourself for now.
We're going to have to talk to Jonjo and you can expect a visit from the Inverness SOCOs.
- Oh, what? - You've a couple of hours.
Get everything above board.
It's not that.
I've tons of beef online.
More arriving.
My margins are practically zero as it is.
I'll talk to them.
Push it back.
I should've burned the thing.
Blake.
Why did nobody tell me about all this? I saw an actual stag.
Balls bigger than mine.
Nearly crashed the car.
- Glad you're here.
- Right, we need to call a press conference.
I'm stood there thinking, "Have these eejits not seen the uniform?" One of them's shouting, "We'll have to let Sam drive! He's too pished to sing!" (CHUCKLES) That's a stoater.
He's here, sir.
Blake Albrighton.
OK.
Er, the forensic psychologist? Jason, I know who he is.
I'll be out when I'm ready.
- Have you read his book? - No.
Skimmed it.
That stuff about his sister.
Imagine carrying that around with you.
I bet he's got the next one all planned.
How I Caught The Loch Ness Monster.
(CHUCKLES) (RINGING TONE) ALAN: Annie, what's up? Alan, can you bring Evie down to the station, please? I can't OK a press conference.
We don't know what we're dealing with.
We're dealing with someone who's killed twice and will kill again.
The heart could've come from a medical school or a grave.
The same day a body is found with part of its brain removed, a heart turns up and you think that's, what, bad luck? I don't believe in luck.
I don't believe in hunches or horse whisperers.
- I believe in evidence.
- You're both Chief Inspectors.
- Who's SIO? - DCI Quigley runs the investigation.
I run everything else, which would include a press conference.
Why do you think he'll kill again? Assuming it's a "he".
Oh, it's a "he".
Mid-20s to mid-40s.
His narrative's about how clever he is.
He needs power but - We all need power.
- But this guy's different.
The thing with the brain, he's overdoing it.
More than power, he needs to be admired.
And you hold a press conference to tell him how much you admire him? Look, I'm talking about saving lives, OK? By giving him what he craves, we satiate him for a while.
Maybe long enough to give us an advantage.
And you get what you crave.
Which is what? Publicity.
He turned down a job in Boston to be here.
This is a favour.
I've seen his fee.
That's no favour.
Wait! Chill.
I'm just going to find a hotel.
Wanna come? No, Blake, I don't.
Niall Swift, 32 years old.
Moved to Lochnafoy four years ago.
Taught local kids piano, started a choir.
Organised performances for charity.
No close attachments or relatives that we know of.
Threading together the available pathology and forensics, Niall Swift met his killer on Carn Mhor.
His wrists were bound with a rope similar to this.
Who stocks it locally? Do they remember anyone buying it? Billion dollar question: where's his phone? For the officer who brings me a lead, I've put something aside at the Oxfam Shop.
- ALL: Ooh - I know, calm yourselves.
And if that wasn't enough, we've had this thrown into the mix.
A little gift left on the beach.
Until we find out otherwise, we'll treat that as a separate murder investigation.
I don't know.
We all seemed to come up with the idea together.
I think I'd have to credit Evie with that.
It was Evie's idea.
She asked if I could get the bones.
Mr Petrie says you should always follow your instincts.
It was horrible.
Kieran and Jonjo were just dumping it.
There could've been a heart there.
I didn't notice.
If we'd seen a heart, we'd have been arguing about where it should go.
I think I would've remembered a heart.
While we were laying out the bones, I had a feeling we were being watched.
You had a feeling? Did you see anyone? Nah.
Look, I'm trying to establish how the heart got there.
If you saw someone, maybe they put it there after you'd gone.
I didn't see anyone.
Wait there.
Do you believe her? Yeah.
Am I off the case? I'm going to let her go, but I strongly recommend she does not leave the area.
Right.
DCI Quigley, am I What are you at this moment? A mother or a police officer? You're compromised.
I'm sorry.
- (TV ON) - (DOOR OPENS) - Are you off the case? - What do you think? Where'd the heart come from? - What's the deal with the heart? - It's human.
Shit.
Nobody knows about that, so don't go blabbing.
You need to tell me where you got it.
We never saw any heart.
How many times? Do you know some medical student? - Annie, you're not on the job now.
- I might not have a job! - She's pissed cos she messed up.
- Don't be such a rude little bitch! - Where'd you get it? - I think that's enough.
Do you? That's for you to decide, is it? Evie Evie! (DOOR SHUTS) (LOW VOICES) Mr McGrellish, just let me give you something I don't want any help.
OK? Why won't you let me contribute at least? Evie.
I'd better go.
Hi.
- Sad day.
- Can you believe it? I mean, who could do a thing like that? - Have you called Bethan? - Soon as I heard.
Oh, Bethan was in bits.
I've been messaging her.
She hasn't had a minute to herself.
Law degrees don't come free with the Bunty.
Hey.
The new DCI needs you to check in down at the station.
I can't stay here.
Course you can.
The community needs you.
What, you think this is a community? It's a bunch of people drawn together by lies.
(SIGHS) CRAIG: I admire what they did.
- BLAKE: He's lying about something.
- Got a bit defensive, didn't he.
- Are you on the investigation team? - No I'm not.
I committed murder.
Is that what you wanna hear? - You got a taste for it? - Yeah, it felt good.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
He's got a gun! We might be looking at another victim.
If we can get that enhanced, we could have the killer's handwriting.
- What's going on? - Somebody's trying to get us shut down.
Now, most people, their monsters are in here.
Scratching to get out.
(BANGING AND MUFFLED CRIES)
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