The Madame Blanc Mysteries (2021) s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
1
FRENCH POP SONG PLAYS
Finally.
HE COUGHS
TIRES SCREECH, HE COUGHS
LOUD CRASH
BICYCLE BELL CHIMES
LAUGHTER IN DISTANCE
WOMAN SHOUTS IN FRENCH
Take the upbrake off, Xav.
OK, ma man.
Do you remember the first time
That my eyes set on you?
Your smile came from nowhere
For sometime never
or sometime soon
The road is a long one
I was only passing through
I was only passing through. ♪
I knew his family wouldn't turn up.
So it was
It was just you at the funeral?
Yep. Just me and the staff.
I should have been with him.
It wouldn't have happened
if I'd have been with him.
Mrs White
I've got something to tell you.
Everything? Gone?
The shop will be
repossessed imminently.
The contents need to be sold
to pay your creditors.
But you can't.
I'm co-signatory.
He must have forged your signature.
We never even signed
a Christmas card.
Mrs White, I'm trying to get
to the bottom of this.
How exactly did you run
your business?
Erm
Can I? Can I have another brandy?
Right.
For about the last ten years,
Rory has done a buyer's trip
to the south of France
every couple of months or so.
There's a little town down there
called Sainte Victoire.
And we discovered it by accident,
actually, on holiday.
The antiques markets are
They're ridiculous. Amazing stuff.
We even bought a little cottage
down there
when we first got married. Right.
I'm not a great traveller, and the
business really took off over here,
so I've not actually been
back since.
OK, so Rory bought the antiques
on his own?
LAUGHS: You're joking, aren't you?
He couldn't tell a Cole
from a Constable.
No.
It was all down to smartphones.
Smartphones?
I used to make him film everything
before he bought it.
We were making money.
Look, there is something, Mrs White.
You are still in possession of
the cottage in Sainte Victoire. Oh.
That's something, I suppose.
What about his personal effects?
Oh, well, that's
everything that was found
at the crash scene.
Where's the ring?
Sorry? In this box, there was
a very expensive ring.
Like I said,
that's everything the police found.
This isn't right. This
This isn't right. Look, I can have
everything sent over. No.
It's OK.
I'm on my way.
MELODIC CHIMES
Ladies and gentlemen,
my name's Helen
and I'm your chief flight attendant
this afternoon.
On behalf of Captain Benson
and the entire crew,
may I welcome you aboard this flight
from Manchester
to Le Cote du Fougeres?
SHE SIGHS
ON PHONE: Bonjour?
Parlez-vous anglais?
Yeah.
Erm Could I book a taxi, please,
to pick me up at
Cote du Fougeres Airport?
When?
Erm Well, I land at 12:30,
so about 1pm?
Name? Mrs White.
Erm Actually, just Jean.
Sorted.
WOMAN SPEAKS FRENCH
Oh, I'm sorry,
my French is a bit limited.
Oh. I said, "I always like to bring
an afternoon tea on a flight",
"whatever time of day." Oh!
Fab shades!
Barbara. Oh. Jean. Thank you.
You're welcome.
If you don't mind me saying so,
Jean, you look like
your thoughts could do with a change
of scenery. Here you go. Oh! Mm-hm.
Thank you. My guilty pleasure!
These bizarre people
always take my mind off things.
Great.
MELODIC CHIMES
Ladies and gentlemen,
we're starting our descent
to Le Cote du Fougeres Airport
And now I know where you live,
we might even bump into one another.
Here. When you've got yourself
settled in, give me a call.
Oh! You sell houses? Yes, we do.
Why? You think you're selling?
Yeah. Well, give me a call, then!
I will!
Oh, and thank you, Barbara.
Who knew that reading about ghosts
who force—feed people's husbands
meat patties would be so cathartic?
You just never know
what's around the corner.
THEY LAUGH
Oh, can you speak to this man?
I can't understand a word
he is saying!
Hello?
SHE SPEAKS FRENCH
I want to know if they are still
doing the offer on
WHISPERS: the colonic irrigation.
SHE SPEAKS FRENCH
WOMEN GIGGLE
It isn't Not for me, of course!
I'm asking for a friend!
Adele, could you keep
your voice down, please?
Oh, for heaven's sake!
Give that to me!
I don't know how they expect to run
a business without speaking English.
Dominic! Judith! Hello!
Fancy meeting you here! Bonjour.
Bonjour. Oh, look at you
doing French!
Who are you waiting for,
some lucky lady?
Oh, clear!
Terrible business, all that.
Are you picking up his mother?
I guess so.
She's on the Manchester flight.
Oh, so much to do when someone dies!
Indeed there is, yeah.
Poor woman! You shouldn't have to
bury your children.
When I lost my Tarquin, he was 13.
I'm sorry. I didn't know. Thank you.
Although I count my blessings.
There weren't many toy poodles
who lived a life so privileged.
There he is! My darling, over here!
Oh, darling, welcome home!
THEY LAUGH
Welcome home, my angel!
Adele, be a darling and take
Jeremy's luggage to the car.
Oh, let me give you a hand.
Oh, that's all right, Dominic.
She's a big, strong girl.
Aren't you, Adele? Oui, madam.
Oh, terrible business!
Nice chap, Rory.
I bought a few pieces from him
over the years. Knew his stuff.
Oh, hello. I think you might be
waiting for me. I'm Mrs White.
Hello. Oh, are you? Hello. Sorry.
I thought you would be
Dominic was going to say he thought
you would be much older. Oh, was he?
Right. Thanks. I think.
She's right, I was,
but I meant it as a compliment.
Our deepest condolences
on your loss.
Always hard for us mums.
Sorry? Your son Rory.
Rory was my husband, not my son!
Of course! You look far too young
to be his mother!
Yeah, I was going to ask the name
of your surgeon!
Again, thanks, I think.
Erm Is it OK if we go?
Yes, no, of course.
Yeah, let me grab your bags.
See you soon!
And mum is not the word!
THEY LAUGH
I'm glad you're here.
I didn't think you would show up.
Your firm has
a very rude receptionist.
Er I am the firm
and the receptionist is my daughter.
Oh. Oh, sorry. No, it's all right.
She's going through
a very difficult age.
She has been for the last ten years.
Thank you.
MOBILE RINGS Oh!
Speak of the devil!
Mind if I take this? No, no, no.
Coucou, papa! What do you want? Can
I take some money out of the flow?
I'm at the end of my overdraft,
but I promise I'll give back.
Back by the end of next week.
Merci, papa. Love you. Love you too.
OK, it's the last time, Xav.
Trust me.
How long have we known each other?
Would I ever let you down?
The furthest away star
that's ever been seen
is nine billion light-years away.
I mean, that is mind-blowing,
isn't it?
I mean, the furthest away thing
that I've ever photographed
is in the Andromeda galaxy, which is
about 2.2 million light-years away,
give or take a light-year. Right.
Hm. So that light was there
before we were human,
but it's so far away,
it's only just hitting us now.
I mean
Bonbons de voyage?
Er, No, thanks.
It's amazing, though,
isn't it? Sorry?
Well, it's like a time capsule.
Wherever you look into the night
sky, it's like a time machine.
Yeah. Yeah, right.
I can't see you!
Can't see straight, you mean!
THEY LAUGH
I'm going to plant
lots of stuff out here.
SHE GIGGLES For you!
Flowers! Gorgeous as you.
Yeah. You can't even keep
a cactus alive!
THEY LAUGH
Hey, I don't have to carry you
over the threshold, do I?
Yeah, good luck with that.
Right, come on!
SHE SCREAMS Come on!
Brace yourself, Rory!
THEY LAUGH
SHE SCREAMS
Mrs White?
Mrs White?
Sorry?
You OK?
Yeah. Miles away.
Don't you mean billions of
light-years away?
DOOR SCRAPES LOUDLY oof!
Needs a bit of TLC, that door,
I think. Oh, thanks.
What do I owe you? Oh, just call it
20 euros. Really? Are you sure?
Yeah, I was out at the airport
anyway, so Oh! Thanks.
So What was your name again?
Oh, Dom. Dom Hayes. So, if you need
anything at all, Mrs White, just
give us a call. Oh, call me jean.
Oh, OK.
Well, bye, Jean.
Stare at the moon, my love
I'll be ft yin' over soon
Stare at the moon, my love
I'll be ft yin' over soon
You're just a distant relative
left alone with sedatives
You're just a distant relative
But I still love you ♪
WOMAN SPEAKS FRENCH
SHE TRIES TO SPEAK FRENCH
WOMAN RESPONDS IN FRENCH
I'm so sorry. I—I don't understand.
WOMAN SPEAKS FRENCH
Erm Just one minute.
SHE SIGHS
Oh, hello, Dom?
It's Jean White here.
You dropped me off yesterday.
Hi.
I hope you don't mind me
calling you.
I just I wondered if you could
do me a favour.
Could you call by
the police station, please?
I'm getting a bit
lost in translation.
Oh, hi! Hiya.
Er, this is my daughter. She's going
to do the translating for us.
She's a little bit better than me.
I'm supposed to be going out
Aw, thank you!
What do you want me to say?
I wanted to pick-up my husband's
personal effects from the accident.
His name is Mr Rory White.
SHE ASKS IN FRENCH
Monsieur Rory White.
SHE RESPONDS IN FRENCH
Andre! I thought you were still
on holiday! We came home early.
My wife did not like the food. Oh.
Jean, this is my good friend
and local head of police,
Gendarme Andre Caron.
Bonjour, monsieur. Bonjour, jean.
HE CONTINUES IN FRENCH
He said a friend of my dad's
is a friend of his.
Oh, thanks! Thank you. Would it be
easier if I spoke English for you?
Oh, yes, please.
I'm a little rusty! Not at all.
Is that it? Can I go?
Yes.
Shall we go through?
Oh, yes, thank you.
I'll be in the car
if you need a lift.
Dom
Erm
Would you come through with me?
Er, yeah, sure, sure.
Here are your husband's effects,
Mrs White.
Right.
Where is it?
Everything we found is in the back.
There was a very, very expensive
ring in this box,
and now it's not here.
He sent me this
just before the crash.
RORY ON VIDEO: I'm bringing it home
to you, my darling.
Everything that was found
at the scene of the crash,
in the van or on your husband's
person, is in that bag, Mrs White.
There was nothing else.
I—I don't think you understand.
Somebody must have taken it.
I—I'm not entirely sure
this was an accident.
There was no sign of foul play.
Mrs White, I cannot imagine
how hard it is for you.
You must not blame yourself
for not being with your husband
as you usually were. Sorry?
You cannot help being out of
the country for once.
For once?
I've not been in this country
for ten years.
But my wife bought a Rolex watch
from you last week
for my son's 21st.
Here it is
with the proof of purchase
that you have signed.
This is one of the worst fakes
I've ever seen.
The Cyclops lens is too small,
there's no crown on the dial and
and the name Rolex is printed.
It's not even engraved.
Fake? What do you mean fake?
I've seen better copies on
Tommyfield Market.
Where?
Firstly
I would never morally sell tat
like that.
And secondly
that, categorically,
is not my signature.
Well, that is impossible.
There can't be two Mrs Whites.
Erm Jean, we sometimes saw Rory
with a woman here.
She kept herself to herself,
never came to the pub or anything,
but I think we just presumed
it was his wife.
That's why there was that confusion
at the airport.
SHOUTING IN FRENCH
You all right, Xav?
At least we shouted
in each other's faces today!
Have you eaten? No.
You must be famished! Come on.
Just to warn you,
news travels faster on here. Right.
Take a deep breath.
Hello, Dom! Hey.
Sorry, are you Celine Frederic
Hey, Hey, Hey,
Eurovision Song Contest 1995?
Yes! I'm such a big fan.
Eurovision is a passion of mine.
And they shout hey, hey, hey ♪
What a nice day for the sun
to shine
And me to say
but forever and a day
I feel that way cos I love you! ♪
SHE LAUGHS
Oh, well, let me get you some
drinks — on the house for a fan.
Oh, just some sparkling water. Yeah.
Right. Sparkling water it is.
I'll bring the menus over.
We do a lovely croque monsieur.
SHE LAUGHS
What? I am very disappointed
in you, Jean.
A fan of Eurovision?
Rory used to say that as well.
Sorry.
Oh, where is it?
What? The ring!
It just doesn't make sense.
You've seen the video.
Yeah.
Well, he sent that just half an hour
before he died.
How can you know that?
The police told me
his approximate time of death.
OK.
Niall, darling,
could I take a bottle of good white?
Fortnum & Mason left us a bottle
short in the hamper this week.
Did you hear about Rory?
Two wives.
We thought she was his mother,
but, you know, she did look
just a little bit too young.
I mean, we all know his antiques
were fake, but a fake wife as well?
SHE SPEAKS IN FRENCH
Bit easier if she came
I think she's trying to tell
you're about to get
a parking ticket, Judith.
I've just lost my appetite.
Where did my number one fan go?
SHE SIGHS HEAVILY
She's right, though, isn't she?
Who? Plum—In— Her—Mouth Almighty.
Rory did have another woman.
Um
So it would appear, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry, Dom.
I hardly know you
and you're ferrying me
from one crisis to the next.
It's fine.
Let's find that ring.
This village does not keep secrets
very well.
Thanks, Dom.
It's all I've got now.
How has nobody decked her yet?
SHE SIGHS
Do you smoke?
No. Neither do I. No.
CHURCH BELL TOLLS
Hang on a minute.
Keep them in there as a deterrent.
OK
Oh.
Oh.
It's all right.
The urge has passed now. Yeah.
Right.
So we definitely know
that the ring was in that box
half an hour before the accident.
Well, it must have fallen out
the box during the crash.
Yeah, and somebody's nicked it.
Is it worth a lot of money?
Oh, you've no idea.
But I think it's more
than that now.
I know it sounds crazy
but I think that someone murdered
Rory for it.
I—I'm sure of it.
Look, I don't mean to be
insensitive but
aren't you being
a little bit dramatic? No. I'm not.
OK. Listen, why don't we go back to
the pub, get you something to eat
No, I don't need placating, Dom.
I just need to find the person
who's got the ring.
OK.
Can I give you a lift back?
It's all right.
I'll walk.
Oh, Madeline!
You drive me crazy.
Hi, Glo. Me again.
That red light's come back on.
No worries. Bring her over later and
I'll sort her out for the morning.
Oh, thanks, mate.
You'll have to buy a new car
one day, Dom. Never.
Thanks, Glo. Cheers, love.
Sweetheart, you really got me
spinning around
In a world called sorry
Sweetheart, you really got me
holding on
To what went wrong, my love. ♪
KNOCKING
Thanks for coming, Dom.
Look, I know you think I'm mad,
but if you give me a chance,
I can prove that somebody
killed my husband.
Good morning to you too.
Oh. S-Sorry. Morning.
You don't have to prove anything
to me, jean, OK?
I'm here to help.
Thanks, Don.
Right, your carriage awaits.
Uh
Yeah, Madeleine's not been well.
Who's Madeleine? My car.
I've got to go and get her
from the garage
so we're going to have to
use Fleur. Who's Fleur?
Are you having a laugh?
Fleur?
BELL DINGS
Jump on.
CHURCH BELLS TOLL
Get your hands off
my Madeleine's undercarriage!
GLORIA LAUGHS
It was only a loose wire,
I've just finished.
Oh, brilliant. Thanks, mate.
Gloria, this is Jean.
Jean, this is Gloria. Hiya.
DOG BARKS Hi.
Oh! Sir Douglas of Dogsville!
How the hell are you? Aw.
Hello.
Hey, Xav. Uh, I have to
take this call. Douglas.
Uh, Jean was Rory's wife.
Oh, so sorry to hear about Rory.
It was only when I turned up to
tow the van I realised it was him.
The van? Yeah.
C-Can I have a look?
Yeah. Yeah, give us a hand, Dom.
Yeah, sure.
Uh, the police have run
the forensics
and I've finished the diagnostics.
That's not right.
What? Rory smoked cheroots.
Maybe he just fancied a change.
What? After 25 years?
Look, the ashtray's empty, look.
Right, yeah.
Whoever smoked this
was in the van with him
and whoever that was
has murdered him for the ring.
Murdered?
If you wanted to flog something
really valuable round here,
where would you go? Pawnbroker.
Yeah, who? Who's the local one?
BOTH: Charlie Brodeur.
BELL TINKLES
Ah, Monsieur Hayes.
It's good to see you. And you are?
Um, Mrs White. Jean White.
Um, my sincerest condolences
about Rory.
He was a good man. Thank you.
Erm, I'm here about a ring.
Has anyone tried to sell you a ring
recently?
It's a red stone? No.
I'm afraid we very rarely deal
in jewellery, Madame White.
We find there are too many fakes.
I received an email about a ring.
This one.
Someone asked through the website
if we would like to buy it
but it was clearly paste so
Why didn't you tell me? That's it.
That's it, that's my ring.
Can you give us that email address?
Mais bien sur.
Um
I wish you good luck in finding it
and if you need any further help,
please don't hesitate to ask.
Thank you.
We've all been fooled
by French paste, Madame.
I know it's not a fake.
PHONE CHIMES
You can tell by the saturation
of the stone alone.
Do you mind if we swing by the
chateau on the way back to yours?
They've got a problem
with some blocked drains.
Well, that's an offer
I can't refuse.
Ah, here he is! Oh, Dominic!
It is so lovely to see you.
Oh.
It seems you've been called out
for no reason.
The blockage was caused by leaves
in the drain.
Everything is flowing freely
now that Adele has cleared it.
Ah. So all sorted then?
Have we inconvenienced you, Dominic?
No, no, no, not at all. Not at all.
Mrs White
um, I hear you're
a bit of an expert.
Now, I've got a little something
I'd like to show you.
And little it is!
Come on, you two.
WHISPERS: I'm so sorry.
I wonder if you could settle a
little discussion we've been having.
Oh, for goodness' sake, Jeremy!
I have told you,
they are silver-plate, my darling.
If you don't mind.
Of course, let me see.
I think they're rather special.
And I know they aren't.
Judith is right,
they're silver-plated.
Oh, um Thank you, Adele.
Monsieur.
I knew it. I can spot a fake
a mile off.
In fact, only this morning
I had some youth trying to sell me
a piece of tat,
swearing it was a ruby,
but it was so glaringly
a cheap bauble.
Um What did this youth look like?
Why, did he try to sell it
to you too?
He? Yes, he works at the garage.
I told him to stick to
what he knows.
Gendarme Caron.
I know my husband's crash
was not an accident.
Can you meet me at Gloria's garage?
Hey. You OK? ls Xav here?
Yeah, he's upstairs.
Can you give him a shout for us?
Xav, can you come down here
a minute?
Yeah?
Dom wants a word.
Yeah.
Well, it's not me that needs a word.
I think you have something
that belongs to me.
Oh.
Xavier, what have you done?
I'm so sorry, Maman.
You tampered with his van,
didn't you?
Now, hang on a minute.
My son might be No, no, no.
You've got it all wrong,
I didn't tamper with the van.
You knew Rory had the ring, though.
Rory asked me to check the van over.
You hiding something important, Xav?
No. Not important.
Do you want to see
what I've been hiding?
She's a beauty, isn't she?
And if I'm right, she's priceless.
I'm taking her home.
That's why I need you
to give the van a good once over
before I set off, all right? Yeah.
And that's just what you did,
didn't you?
You fixed it so he would crash,
so you could get your hands on
the ring.
No, you're wrong!
I found your cigarette
in his ashtray.
You were in that van
just before he set off.
I was not.
I found the ring
when we were at the crash site.
Maman, I swear,
I didn't tamper with the van.
Oh, Xav.
I'm so sorry.
How much do you owe this time?
20,000 euros. But how?!
You're barred from every
betting shop in the county.
I thought I could pay off
my poker debt. What poker debt?
It just built up again
and virtual chips didn't
seem like real money and
it just piled and I panicked.
Where is the ring now?
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, Mrs White,
but this is evidence.
Dom, please tell him.
Dom, please, tell him!
The more I get to know,
the more I realise
I didn't know my husband at all.
What a day.
How long since you've given up?
Three years, four clays,
three months,
six hours and 23 minutes.
Mine's ten years,
two months exactly.
How much is that ring worth, then?
It's a Burmese cushion cut ruby
set in 18—carat yellow gold
with surrounding diamonds
with additional diamonds
set in a platinum band
I have no idea what you just said
but that sounds expensive.
75,000.
Seriously?
How can you be so sure?
That's just it, I'm not sure.
It could be something
completely different.
What, like worthless or?
CHUCKLING: Oh, no.
It could be
a Burmese pigeon's blood Ruby
Very, very rare due to the
diminishing mines they come from
Worth between
8 to 12 million.
Either way,
finally he lands a winner and
Oh, shall we light a fag?
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh
Uh
I've got a lighter.
Well, it's Rory's lighter.
Oh, no, no, no, no,
it's not the same
if we smoke it indoors, is it?
It's a fag, not a joint.
I think it needs a flint.
Where's your gas control valve?
No wonder you're empty.
Oh. Are you all right?
It smells of almonds.
What?
The lighter.
It smells of almonds
I can't I can't smell anything.
Not everyone can smell cyanide.
Open the door. What?!
What's going on?
The lighter.
He was killed by the lighter. How?
Somebody put cyanide gas
instead of butane gas
in my husband's a lighter.
It was the lighter
that was tampered with, not the van.
KNOCK AT DOOR
I'll go.
Erm
These were on the doorstep.
Bluebells.
No.
They're monkshood.
Poisonous.
They mean danger.
It's the gas control valve.
"So my darling Rory finally
made his choice"
"and was bringing my ring
home to you."
HE EXHALES SHARPLY
"It's such a shame that
smoking kills, isn't it, Mrs White?"
The other woman.
She killed him.
She killed my husband.
GLORIA: Come on, let's get you home.
CARON: We are sending it
to forensics
to find out everything we can.
The minute we have results,
you will know.
Thanks.
Thank you.
FRENCH POP SONG PLAYS
Finally.
HE COUGHS
TIRES SCREECH, HE COUGHS
LOUD CRASH
BICYCLE BELL CHIMES
LAUGHTER IN DISTANCE
WOMAN SHOUTS IN FRENCH
Take the upbrake off, Xav.
OK, ma man.
Do you remember the first time
That my eyes set on you?
Your smile came from nowhere
For sometime never
or sometime soon
The road is a long one
I was only passing through
I was only passing through. ♪
I knew his family wouldn't turn up.
So it was
It was just you at the funeral?
Yep. Just me and the staff.
I should have been with him.
It wouldn't have happened
if I'd have been with him.
Mrs White
I've got something to tell you.
Everything? Gone?
The shop will be
repossessed imminently.
The contents need to be sold
to pay your creditors.
But you can't.
I'm co-signatory.
He must have forged your signature.
We never even signed
a Christmas card.
Mrs White, I'm trying to get
to the bottom of this.
How exactly did you run
your business?
Erm
Can I? Can I have another brandy?
Right.
For about the last ten years,
Rory has done a buyer's trip
to the south of France
every couple of months or so.
There's a little town down there
called Sainte Victoire.
And we discovered it by accident,
actually, on holiday.
The antiques markets are
They're ridiculous. Amazing stuff.
We even bought a little cottage
down there
when we first got married. Right.
I'm not a great traveller, and the
business really took off over here,
so I've not actually been
back since.
OK, so Rory bought the antiques
on his own?
LAUGHS: You're joking, aren't you?
He couldn't tell a Cole
from a Constable.
No.
It was all down to smartphones.
Smartphones?
I used to make him film everything
before he bought it.
We were making money.
Look, there is something, Mrs White.
You are still in possession of
the cottage in Sainte Victoire. Oh.
That's something, I suppose.
What about his personal effects?
Oh, well, that's
everything that was found
at the crash scene.
Where's the ring?
Sorry? In this box, there was
a very expensive ring.
Like I said,
that's everything the police found.
This isn't right. This
This isn't right. Look, I can have
everything sent over. No.
It's OK.
I'm on my way.
MELODIC CHIMES
Ladies and gentlemen,
my name's Helen
and I'm your chief flight attendant
this afternoon.
On behalf of Captain Benson
and the entire crew,
may I welcome you aboard this flight
from Manchester
to Le Cote du Fougeres?
SHE SIGHS
ON PHONE: Bonjour?
Parlez-vous anglais?
Yeah.
Erm Could I book a taxi, please,
to pick me up at
Cote du Fougeres Airport?
When?
Erm Well, I land at 12:30,
so about 1pm?
Name? Mrs White.
Erm Actually, just Jean.
Sorted.
WOMAN SPEAKS FRENCH
Oh, I'm sorry,
my French is a bit limited.
Oh. I said, "I always like to bring
an afternoon tea on a flight",
"whatever time of day." Oh!
Fab shades!
Barbara. Oh. Jean. Thank you.
You're welcome.
If you don't mind me saying so,
Jean, you look like
your thoughts could do with a change
of scenery. Here you go. Oh! Mm-hm.
Thank you. My guilty pleasure!
These bizarre people
always take my mind off things.
Great.
MELODIC CHIMES
Ladies and gentlemen,
we're starting our descent
to Le Cote du Fougeres Airport
And now I know where you live,
we might even bump into one another.
Here. When you've got yourself
settled in, give me a call.
Oh! You sell houses? Yes, we do.
Why? You think you're selling?
Yeah. Well, give me a call, then!
I will!
Oh, and thank you, Barbara.
Who knew that reading about ghosts
who force—feed people's husbands
meat patties would be so cathartic?
You just never know
what's around the corner.
THEY LAUGH
Oh, can you speak to this man?
I can't understand a word
he is saying!
Hello?
SHE SPEAKS FRENCH
I want to know if they are still
doing the offer on
WHISPERS: the colonic irrigation.
SHE SPEAKS FRENCH
WOMEN GIGGLE
It isn't Not for me, of course!
I'm asking for a friend!
Adele, could you keep
your voice down, please?
Oh, for heaven's sake!
Give that to me!
I don't know how they expect to run
a business without speaking English.
Dominic! Judith! Hello!
Fancy meeting you here! Bonjour.
Bonjour. Oh, look at you
doing French!
Who are you waiting for,
some lucky lady?
Oh, clear!
Terrible business, all that.
Are you picking up his mother?
I guess so.
She's on the Manchester flight.
Oh, so much to do when someone dies!
Indeed there is, yeah.
Poor woman! You shouldn't have to
bury your children.
When I lost my Tarquin, he was 13.
I'm sorry. I didn't know. Thank you.
Although I count my blessings.
There weren't many toy poodles
who lived a life so privileged.
There he is! My darling, over here!
Oh, darling, welcome home!
THEY LAUGH
Welcome home, my angel!
Adele, be a darling and take
Jeremy's luggage to the car.
Oh, let me give you a hand.
Oh, that's all right, Dominic.
She's a big, strong girl.
Aren't you, Adele? Oui, madam.
Oh, terrible business!
Nice chap, Rory.
I bought a few pieces from him
over the years. Knew his stuff.
Oh, hello. I think you might be
waiting for me. I'm Mrs White.
Hello. Oh, are you? Hello. Sorry.
I thought you would be
Dominic was going to say he thought
you would be much older. Oh, was he?
Right. Thanks. I think.
She's right, I was,
but I meant it as a compliment.
Our deepest condolences
on your loss.
Always hard for us mums.
Sorry? Your son Rory.
Rory was my husband, not my son!
Of course! You look far too young
to be his mother!
Yeah, I was going to ask the name
of your surgeon!
Again, thanks, I think.
Erm Is it OK if we go?
Yes, no, of course.
Yeah, let me grab your bags.
See you soon!
And mum is not the word!
THEY LAUGH
I'm glad you're here.
I didn't think you would show up.
Your firm has
a very rude receptionist.
Er I am the firm
and the receptionist is my daughter.
Oh. Oh, sorry. No, it's all right.
She's going through
a very difficult age.
She has been for the last ten years.
Thank you.
MOBILE RINGS Oh!
Speak of the devil!
Mind if I take this? No, no, no.
Coucou, papa! What do you want? Can
I take some money out of the flow?
I'm at the end of my overdraft,
but I promise I'll give back.
Back by the end of next week.
Merci, papa. Love you. Love you too.
OK, it's the last time, Xav.
Trust me.
How long have we known each other?
Would I ever let you down?
The furthest away star
that's ever been seen
is nine billion light-years away.
I mean, that is mind-blowing,
isn't it?
I mean, the furthest away thing
that I've ever photographed
is in the Andromeda galaxy, which is
about 2.2 million light-years away,
give or take a light-year. Right.
Hm. So that light was there
before we were human,
but it's so far away,
it's only just hitting us now.
I mean
Bonbons de voyage?
Er, No, thanks.
It's amazing, though,
isn't it? Sorry?
Well, it's like a time capsule.
Wherever you look into the night
sky, it's like a time machine.
Yeah. Yeah, right.
I can't see you!
Can't see straight, you mean!
THEY LAUGH
I'm going to plant
lots of stuff out here.
SHE GIGGLES For you!
Flowers! Gorgeous as you.
Yeah. You can't even keep
a cactus alive!
THEY LAUGH
Hey, I don't have to carry you
over the threshold, do I?
Yeah, good luck with that.
Right, come on!
SHE SCREAMS Come on!
Brace yourself, Rory!
THEY LAUGH
SHE SCREAMS
Mrs White?
Mrs White?
Sorry?
You OK?
Yeah. Miles away.
Don't you mean billions of
light-years away?
DOOR SCRAPES LOUDLY oof!
Needs a bit of TLC, that door,
I think. Oh, thanks.
What do I owe you? Oh, just call it
20 euros. Really? Are you sure?
Yeah, I was out at the airport
anyway, so Oh! Thanks.
So What was your name again?
Oh, Dom. Dom Hayes. So, if you need
anything at all, Mrs White, just
give us a call. Oh, call me jean.
Oh, OK.
Well, bye, Jean.
Stare at the moon, my love
I'll be ft yin' over soon
Stare at the moon, my love
I'll be ft yin' over soon
You're just a distant relative
left alone with sedatives
You're just a distant relative
But I still love you ♪
WOMAN SPEAKS FRENCH
SHE TRIES TO SPEAK FRENCH
WOMAN RESPONDS IN FRENCH
I'm so sorry. I—I don't understand.
WOMAN SPEAKS FRENCH
Erm Just one minute.
SHE SIGHS
Oh, hello, Dom?
It's Jean White here.
You dropped me off yesterday.
Hi.
I hope you don't mind me
calling you.
I just I wondered if you could
do me a favour.
Could you call by
the police station, please?
I'm getting a bit
lost in translation.
Oh, hi! Hiya.
Er, this is my daughter. She's going
to do the translating for us.
She's a little bit better than me.
I'm supposed to be going out
Aw, thank you!
What do you want me to say?
I wanted to pick-up my husband's
personal effects from the accident.
His name is Mr Rory White.
SHE ASKS IN FRENCH
Monsieur Rory White.
SHE RESPONDS IN FRENCH
Andre! I thought you were still
on holiday! We came home early.
My wife did not like the food. Oh.
Jean, this is my good friend
and local head of police,
Gendarme Andre Caron.
Bonjour, monsieur. Bonjour, jean.
HE CONTINUES IN FRENCH
He said a friend of my dad's
is a friend of his.
Oh, thanks! Thank you. Would it be
easier if I spoke English for you?
Oh, yes, please.
I'm a little rusty! Not at all.
Is that it? Can I go?
Yes.
Shall we go through?
Oh, yes, thank you.
I'll be in the car
if you need a lift.
Dom
Erm
Would you come through with me?
Er, yeah, sure, sure.
Here are your husband's effects,
Mrs White.
Right.
Where is it?
Everything we found is in the back.
There was a very, very expensive
ring in this box,
and now it's not here.
He sent me this
just before the crash.
RORY ON VIDEO: I'm bringing it home
to you, my darling.
Everything that was found
at the scene of the crash,
in the van or on your husband's
person, is in that bag, Mrs White.
There was nothing else.
I—I don't think you understand.
Somebody must have taken it.
I—I'm not entirely sure
this was an accident.
There was no sign of foul play.
Mrs White, I cannot imagine
how hard it is for you.
You must not blame yourself
for not being with your husband
as you usually were. Sorry?
You cannot help being out of
the country for once.
For once?
I've not been in this country
for ten years.
But my wife bought a Rolex watch
from you last week
for my son's 21st.
Here it is
with the proof of purchase
that you have signed.
This is one of the worst fakes
I've ever seen.
The Cyclops lens is too small,
there's no crown on the dial and
and the name Rolex is printed.
It's not even engraved.
Fake? What do you mean fake?
I've seen better copies on
Tommyfield Market.
Where?
Firstly
I would never morally sell tat
like that.
And secondly
that, categorically,
is not my signature.
Well, that is impossible.
There can't be two Mrs Whites.
Erm Jean, we sometimes saw Rory
with a woman here.
She kept herself to herself,
never came to the pub or anything,
but I think we just presumed
it was his wife.
That's why there was that confusion
at the airport.
SHOUTING IN FRENCH
You all right, Xav?
At least we shouted
in each other's faces today!
Have you eaten? No.
You must be famished! Come on.
Just to warn you,
news travels faster on here. Right.
Take a deep breath.
Hello, Dom! Hey.
Sorry, are you Celine Frederic
Hey, Hey, Hey,
Eurovision Song Contest 1995?
Yes! I'm such a big fan.
Eurovision is a passion of mine.
And they shout hey, hey, hey ♪
What a nice day for the sun
to shine
And me to say
but forever and a day
I feel that way cos I love you! ♪
SHE LAUGHS
Oh, well, let me get you some
drinks — on the house for a fan.
Oh, just some sparkling water. Yeah.
Right. Sparkling water it is.
I'll bring the menus over.
We do a lovely croque monsieur.
SHE LAUGHS
What? I am very disappointed
in you, Jean.
A fan of Eurovision?
Rory used to say that as well.
Sorry.
Oh, where is it?
What? The ring!
It just doesn't make sense.
You've seen the video.
Yeah.
Well, he sent that just half an hour
before he died.
How can you know that?
The police told me
his approximate time of death.
OK.
Niall, darling,
could I take a bottle of good white?
Fortnum & Mason left us a bottle
short in the hamper this week.
Did you hear about Rory?
Two wives.
We thought she was his mother,
but, you know, she did look
just a little bit too young.
I mean, we all know his antiques
were fake, but a fake wife as well?
SHE SPEAKS IN FRENCH
Bit easier if she came
I think she's trying to tell
you're about to get
a parking ticket, Judith.
I've just lost my appetite.
Where did my number one fan go?
SHE SIGHS HEAVILY
She's right, though, isn't she?
Who? Plum—In— Her—Mouth Almighty.
Rory did have another woman.
Um
So it would appear, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I'm sorry, Dom.
I hardly know you
and you're ferrying me
from one crisis to the next.
It's fine.
Let's find that ring.
This village does not keep secrets
very well.
Thanks, Dom.
It's all I've got now.
How has nobody decked her yet?
SHE SIGHS
Do you smoke?
No. Neither do I. No.
CHURCH BELL TOLLS
Hang on a minute.
Keep them in there as a deterrent.
OK
Oh.
Oh.
It's all right.
The urge has passed now. Yeah.
Right.
So we definitely know
that the ring was in that box
half an hour before the accident.
Well, it must have fallen out
the box during the crash.
Yeah, and somebody's nicked it.
Is it worth a lot of money?
Oh, you've no idea.
But I think it's more
than that now.
I know it sounds crazy
but I think that someone murdered
Rory for it.
I—I'm sure of it.
Look, I don't mean to be
insensitive but
aren't you being
a little bit dramatic? No. I'm not.
OK. Listen, why don't we go back to
the pub, get you something to eat
No, I don't need placating, Dom.
I just need to find the person
who's got the ring.
OK.
Can I give you a lift back?
It's all right.
I'll walk.
Oh, Madeline!
You drive me crazy.
Hi, Glo. Me again.
That red light's come back on.
No worries. Bring her over later and
I'll sort her out for the morning.
Oh, thanks, mate.
You'll have to buy a new car
one day, Dom. Never.
Thanks, Glo. Cheers, love.
Sweetheart, you really got me
spinning around
In a world called sorry
Sweetheart, you really got me
holding on
To what went wrong, my love. ♪
KNOCKING
Thanks for coming, Dom.
Look, I know you think I'm mad,
but if you give me a chance,
I can prove that somebody
killed my husband.
Good morning to you too.
Oh. S-Sorry. Morning.
You don't have to prove anything
to me, jean, OK?
I'm here to help.
Thanks, Don.
Right, your carriage awaits.
Uh
Yeah, Madeleine's not been well.
Who's Madeleine? My car.
I've got to go and get her
from the garage
so we're going to have to
use Fleur. Who's Fleur?
Are you having a laugh?
Fleur?
BELL DINGS
Jump on.
CHURCH BELLS TOLL
Get your hands off
my Madeleine's undercarriage!
GLORIA LAUGHS
It was only a loose wire,
I've just finished.
Oh, brilliant. Thanks, mate.
Gloria, this is Jean.
Jean, this is Gloria. Hiya.
DOG BARKS Hi.
Oh! Sir Douglas of Dogsville!
How the hell are you? Aw.
Hello.
Hey, Xav. Uh, I have to
take this call. Douglas.
Uh, Jean was Rory's wife.
Oh, so sorry to hear about Rory.
It was only when I turned up to
tow the van I realised it was him.
The van? Yeah.
C-Can I have a look?
Yeah. Yeah, give us a hand, Dom.
Yeah, sure.
Uh, the police have run
the forensics
and I've finished the diagnostics.
That's not right.
What? Rory smoked cheroots.
Maybe he just fancied a change.
What? After 25 years?
Look, the ashtray's empty, look.
Right, yeah.
Whoever smoked this
was in the van with him
and whoever that was
has murdered him for the ring.
Murdered?
If you wanted to flog something
really valuable round here,
where would you go? Pawnbroker.
Yeah, who? Who's the local one?
BOTH: Charlie Brodeur.
BELL TINKLES
Ah, Monsieur Hayes.
It's good to see you. And you are?
Um, Mrs White. Jean White.
Um, my sincerest condolences
about Rory.
He was a good man. Thank you.
Erm, I'm here about a ring.
Has anyone tried to sell you a ring
recently?
It's a red stone? No.
I'm afraid we very rarely deal
in jewellery, Madame White.
We find there are too many fakes.
I received an email about a ring.
This one.
Someone asked through the website
if we would like to buy it
but it was clearly paste so
Why didn't you tell me? That's it.
That's it, that's my ring.
Can you give us that email address?
Mais bien sur.
Um
I wish you good luck in finding it
and if you need any further help,
please don't hesitate to ask.
Thank you.
We've all been fooled
by French paste, Madame.
I know it's not a fake.
PHONE CHIMES
You can tell by the saturation
of the stone alone.
Do you mind if we swing by the
chateau on the way back to yours?
They've got a problem
with some blocked drains.
Well, that's an offer
I can't refuse.
Ah, here he is! Oh, Dominic!
It is so lovely to see you.
Oh.
It seems you've been called out
for no reason.
The blockage was caused by leaves
in the drain.
Everything is flowing freely
now that Adele has cleared it.
Ah. So all sorted then?
Have we inconvenienced you, Dominic?
No, no, no, not at all. Not at all.
Mrs White
um, I hear you're
a bit of an expert.
Now, I've got a little something
I'd like to show you.
And little it is!
Come on, you two.
WHISPERS: I'm so sorry.
I wonder if you could settle a
little discussion we've been having.
Oh, for goodness' sake, Jeremy!
I have told you,
they are silver-plate, my darling.
If you don't mind.
Of course, let me see.
I think they're rather special.
And I know they aren't.
Judith is right,
they're silver-plated.
Oh, um Thank you, Adele.
Monsieur.
I knew it. I can spot a fake
a mile off.
In fact, only this morning
I had some youth trying to sell me
a piece of tat,
swearing it was a ruby,
but it was so glaringly
a cheap bauble.
Um What did this youth look like?
Why, did he try to sell it
to you too?
He? Yes, he works at the garage.
I told him to stick to
what he knows.
Gendarme Caron.
I know my husband's crash
was not an accident.
Can you meet me at Gloria's garage?
Hey. You OK? ls Xav here?
Yeah, he's upstairs.
Can you give him a shout for us?
Xav, can you come down here
a minute?
Yeah?
Dom wants a word.
Yeah.
Well, it's not me that needs a word.
I think you have something
that belongs to me.
Oh.
Xavier, what have you done?
I'm so sorry, Maman.
You tampered with his van,
didn't you?
Now, hang on a minute.
My son might be No, no, no.
You've got it all wrong,
I didn't tamper with the van.
You knew Rory had the ring, though.
Rory asked me to check the van over.
You hiding something important, Xav?
No. Not important.
Do you want to see
what I've been hiding?
She's a beauty, isn't she?
And if I'm right, she's priceless.
I'm taking her home.
That's why I need you
to give the van a good once over
before I set off, all right? Yeah.
And that's just what you did,
didn't you?
You fixed it so he would crash,
so you could get your hands on
the ring.
No, you're wrong!
I found your cigarette
in his ashtray.
You were in that van
just before he set off.
I was not.
I found the ring
when we were at the crash site.
Maman, I swear,
I didn't tamper with the van.
Oh, Xav.
I'm so sorry.
How much do you owe this time?
20,000 euros. But how?!
You're barred from every
betting shop in the county.
I thought I could pay off
my poker debt. What poker debt?
It just built up again
and virtual chips didn't
seem like real money and
it just piled and I panicked.
Where is the ring now?
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry, Mrs White,
but this is evidence.
Dom, please tell him.
Dom, please, tell him!
The more I get to know,
the more I realise
I didn't know my husband at all.
What a day.
How long since you've given up?
Three years, four clays,
three months,
six hours and 23 minutes.
Mine's ten years,
two months exactly.
How much is that ring worth, then?
It's a Burmese cushion cut ruby
set in 18—carat yellow gold
with surrounding diamonds
with additional diamonds
set in a platinum band
I have no idea what you just said
but that sounds expensive.
75,000.
Seriously?
How can you be so sure?
That's just it, I'm not sure.
It could be something
completely different.
What, like worthless or?
CHUCKLING: Oh, no.
It could be
a Burmese pigeon's blood Ruby
Very, very rare due to the
diminishing mines they come from
Worth between
8 to 12 million.
Either way,
finally he lands a winner and
Oh, shall we light a fag?
Yeah. Yeah.
Oh
Uh
I've got a lighter.
Well, it's Rory's lighter.
Oh, no, no, no, no,
it's not the same
if we smoke it indoors, is it?
It's a fag, not a joint.
I think it needs a flint.
Where's your gas control valve?
No wonder you're empty.
Oh. Are you all right?
It smells of almonds.
What?
The lighter.
It smells of almonds
I can't I can't smell anything.
Not everyone can smell cyanide.
Open the door. What?!
What's going on?
The lighter.
He was killed by the lighter. How?
Somebody put cyanide gas
instead of butane gas
in my husband's a lighter.
It was the lighter
that was tampered with, not the van.
KNOCK AT DOOR
I'll go.
Erm
These were on the doorstep.
Bluebells.
No.
They're monkshood.
Poisonous.
They mean danger.
It's the gas control valve.
"So my darling Rory finally
made his choice"
"and was bringing my ring
home to you."
HE EXHALES SHARPLY
"It's such a shame that
smoking kills, isn't it, Mrs White?"
The other woman.
She killed him.
She killed my husband.
GLORIA: Come on, let's get you home.
CARON: We are sending it
to forensics
to find out everything we can.
The minute we have results,
you will know.
Thanks.
Thank you.