The Michael J. Fox Show s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
Hi, I'm Michael Henry.
I was lead anchor of the Channel 4 News until I left five years ago.
The great thing is, I've been able to spend more time with my family.
Dad, you're moving too much.
I've got to zoom out and start again.
Honey, you could shoot me from across the street.
It wouldn't make a difference.
Maybe if you had gotten me a phone with an image stabilizer.
That would cure it.
Come on, people.
Whose turn is it to set the table? Sorry, I was stuck at this never-ending staff meeting at school.
Ooh, pasta.
Yeah, I put two things of kale in it, but you'd never know.
Hey, dad.
What do we got? Eve, set the table.
Kale.
Two things of kale.
No standing and eating.
This standing and eating thing has got to stop.
This family's going down a dangerous rabbit hole.
First we stop connecting, then next thing you know, we're under a bridge, tying each other off.
How do you know that move? I had a past before you, Annie.
Hey, dad.
Okay.
Mom, garlic bread, hit me.
No, don't hit him.
Don't hit him.
- Nice! - Okay.
- I'm still eating it.
- Really? There's a dining room table right there.
I'm looking at it.
I'm looking at it right there.
What up, fools? Enough with the kale.
We get it, you're white.
Will you put those things away? You're scaring the kids.
'Sup, Aunt Leigh? Oh, my god.
Amazing meal, dad.
Another triumph.
Let's go, Aunt Leigh.
Stop calling me Aunt Leigh.
Tonight we're sisters.
What about the plan? We were gonna have dinner, then go get frozen yogurt, and maybe have a leaf fight.
A leaf fight? Or something.
Do you know that frozen yogurt isn't actually frozen yogurt? Yeah, it's just powdered animal gelatin and corn syrup.
What are you trying to do to your family, Mike? Just be home by 10:30.
That's it? We're done? Yep.
Later.
Well, at least you and me can have a meal together.
I'm already done.
How would I describe dad? He's from Pennsylvania, not as funny as he thinks he is.
He wears hats like they just fell off a shelf in a store and whatever insane way it lands on his head, he just keeps it like that.
For 20 years, he's poured everything he had into work.
Now he pours it all into us.
Yay! Hello! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Don't make me be a tickle bear.
Go away! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! There's only one way to get me to stop.
Wakey, wakey, Kevin Bac-ey! You never had to drag me out of bed, dad.
These kids have no work ethic.
Said the college drop-out.
I didn't drop out of college.
I opted out so I could focus on my passion, reimagining the search engine.
LeBron went pro out of high school.
Why should I have to wait until I'm 22 to make my first million? Even if I have to do it in my little brother's room.
Legos everywhere.
They're not even put together right.
How is this a tug boat? Seriously.
Ah, this kid is strong.
He's badger-strong.
I've got 30 poems to grade before senior English.
How do you grade poetry? Harshly.
The world doesn't need more bad poetry, Mike.
I am the firewall.
Why don't you get out of here? I'll take the kids to school.
Okay, Eve's got a bio test first period.
Don't be late.
Why do you have to teach at my school? Why do you have to go to my school? Are you wearing that? What, are we driving a Zamboni to school? Ow! How can you hit a man in my condition? Got it? Thanks.
Hey, you guys want to go apple picking this weekend for the day? No, I want to go to Key Foods for five minutes.
Yo, 5:00 News! We love you, bro! Thanks, man.
And thanks for that.
Mike Henry, world's most beloved man.
There's no one who doesn't love you.
Harris, how you been? All right.
Getting tall, Graham.
Hey, Harris.
Hey, Eve.
That's a nice jacket.
What, you working on an oil rig? Ha.
I saw the newscast last night.
Mm.
Are you serious? Another scare piece on the dangers of fast food? The public's been warned, Harris.
They don't care.
What about the kids? It's New York.
What could happen? You know what else you've got to change? Linda's new sign-off.
I mean, "Find your happy?" We used to infiltrate gangs.
I held a cameraman's neck for an hour so he wouldn't bleed out.
I remember.
You won your fourth Emmy for that.
Hey, Mike Henry! Miss you, man! Keep fighting! He's not the only one who misses you, Mike.
We all do.
You should come back to work.
Come on.
Are you forgetting why I left? Do you remember the rolling chair thing? If you spend your time worrying about the worst-case scenario and it actually happens, you've lived it twice.
And with that, I leave you the same way I have every night for the last 11 years, stay informed, New York.
Nightly news is next.
Well, you seem better.
Plus we have these little things called wheel locks now.
Look, Harris, I don't want a pity job.
We both know if I come back, NBC's going to milk it by showing me in slow motion with lame uplifting music in the background.
As long as I'm the news director, that will not happen.
It's a good idea, though.
Come on.
Just think about it.
We need you, man.
No one's watching the news anymore.
We got beat by a show called Color Splash last night.
That's literally watching paint dry.
Mike Henry.
You're a brave man.
My grandma has Parkinson's.
Yes, my dad is a celebrity, and people love him.
Blah, blah, blah.
But why does everyone have to stop and tell him about another person who also has Parkinson's? Alcoholism is a disease.
Do people go up to David Hasselhoff and tell him about their crazy uncles? All right, guys, settle down.
Grapes of Wrath updates, Eve, how's it going? Good.
Really good, thanks.
How are you? I'm good.
Thanks.
Please tell me you started your project.
Of course I have.
I am doing a video on another family, the Henrys.
I just think that if I could compare my father's struggles to that of the migrant laborers, that could really go a long way with the healing.
Sounds good.
Due Thursday.
In The Grapes of Wrath Ma and Pa Joad escape the dust bowl.
My dad's condition is the dust bowl of my family, and we are the grapes.
Wait, are we the grapes, or are we the wrath? Ah, who gives a Quiet! I'm trying to work in here.
You be quiet.
If Parkinson's has taught me anything, it's that you can't control everything.
Last newscast? Yeah, they run a Levitra ad in front of it now.
What's Levitra? I so love that you don't know.
Nightly news is next.
And he sticks the landing! So you told Harris that you are definitely not going back? I mean, I'd just be a feel-good story to them.
I don't want to be the guy who gets a standing ovation every day at work.
Standing ovations? Ugh, those sons of bitches.
You know what I'm saying.
I feel like you've been a little intense around here lately, that's all.
The apple picking, leaf fights? I don't like leaf fights.
I'm not a raccoon.
When I left work, I thought the silver lining was that I'd get to spend more time with you and the kids, but now you all have your own things going on.
I have just the fix for you.
You have to be here tomorrow between 11:00 and 6:00.
We need a new dishwasher because Graham broke ours.
Graham.
All you have to do is let them in.
And make sure that they connect the main water line to the filter line and you know what? Hey, I'll leave you a note.
You know I hate this stuff.
I was going to go work on my book tomorrow.
Well, I can make it up to you.
When was the last time you took your medication? Hours ago.
Oh, good.
Then I don't have to do all the work.
I don't know, it feels like bangs are for heavy people.
I had bangs last summer.
Well, you're the exception that proves the rule, although summer is always your biggest season, if I'm just being real.
Thanks for that.
Is this why I can't go write today? So you can babysit a haircut? It's not just some haircut, Michael.
It's a symbol of my mortality.
At the concert, some idiot actually thought that I was old enough to be Eve's mom.
Does this idiot have eyes, ears, and the ability to process information? I know it's hard for you to step outside your charmed life and see other people's challenges, but I'm about to turn 30-ff-nna.
I have less eggs inside me than a Bennigan's because they don't serve breakfast.
Michael, are you even listening to me? Oh, no.
You lost me at Bennigan's.
Whatever happened to Bennigan's? Mike's a generous big brother, to a point.
Like, he helps me pay rent on an apartment in the building, but it's in the basement.
These windows don't let any light in, but scumbags can watch me walk around naked.
Why don't you close the blinds? Because one of those scumbags might be a doctor.
Mike Henry! News on Channel 4! Stay informs! Dishwasher! Mike Henry! Right, Mike Henry.
Dishwasher.
This is the place.
Where is this thing? Oh, here it is.
Oh, great.
"Connect the gravy" Why would it say "gravy?" This is not gonna be helpful.
So you know what I'll do? I'll call my wife on her cell phone, and she will straighten this whole thing out.
That's my Peabody Award.
911.
What is your emergency? 911? No, I didn't call 911.
No, there's no emergency.
You know what I did? I called 917 but I misdialed.
My drugs haven't kicked in.
I'm fine.
I'm fine! Hello? I give up! I don't know which one it is.
I give up.
I give up.
I give up.
Back away! Hands up! N.
Y.
P.
D! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! I'm fine! I said I was fine on the phone! Doesn't matter.
We have to respond.
Better safe than sorry.
You know, I called 45 minutes ago.
If this were a real emergency, it'd fall squarely in the "sorry" category.
It's not us.
It's the new 911 call system.
That's what you get for $2 billion.
$2 billion? We'll just come back tomorrow.
Between 11:00 and 6:00.
Wait, I get Stay informs! Stay informs Informed! Did he say "sex?" Yeah, Harris.
It's Mike.
I been thinking about your offer.
You still got those wheel locks? Excuse me, Mr.
Henry.
Since we're both here, could I get you to sign an autograph? My uncle's got Alzheimer's.
I've actually got Parkinson's.
Either way.
Harris, I got to get back to work.
Ian, come in here! It's dinner time.
Okay, do that again, but say "Ian, I need help!" And shake it up a little.
You're garbage.
You're a garbage daughter.
Good, we're all here.
I got an announcement I want to make.
I don't want you to get angry or confused or scared, but I'm thinking about going back to work.
Oh! Thank god! Yes! I said I was thinking about it.
Good to know where I stand.
We're just kind of happy that you're getting out of the house.
Kind of? You've been driving us all a little crazy lately.
What? That's nuts.
All right, damn it! That's not happening again! Spit that out.
Spit that out.
No more standing meals.
I'm telling you.
This is gonna happen.
Okay, you have got to stop that.
He is eight years old, Mike.
'Cause he's not eating at a family table.
Ha! There he is! Welcome home, my friend.
This is an exploratory meeting.
Oh, of course.
No one knows you're here.
I lied.
They love you, man.
The whole world loves you.
You're a bad man.
Welcome back, Mr.
Henry.
I'm Kay, your new segment producer.
Potential new segment producer.
Right.
I've got to earn it.
And I will.
Because to be a part of this, a part of you, to call it inspirational is Are you crying? Is she crying? If you don't like her, I can drop her like a stone.
No, I like that she's shorter than me.
It's a nice touch.
Look at you.
You're back already.
And here's the old control room.
Mike Henry.
There's the man of the hour.
Matthew.
Matt Lauer and I have always had a rivalry.
We both came up together.
One of us still has his hair.
It's a one-sided rivalry fueled by jealousy.
Jealousy? I just saw your Welcome Back promo.
I couldn't be happier.
You are one of the best.
Well, thanks, man.
See you at the track later? Yeah, I'll see you there.
Can you believe that guy? Awful, awful man.
Why don't people see that Wait a minute.
What do you mean "promo?" All right, fine.
I was straight-up assuming you were coming back.
I saw you in the street, mannying your kids.
It was sad.
"Mannying?" It's called parenthood, Harris.
And most men don't spend their lives trying to avoid it.
Hey, 30 years of lovemaking, not even one slip.
Not even a scare.
Maybe you're doing it wrong.
It's like this, right? Some things happen for a reason, Mike, like us running into each other at Goldfarb's.
It was fate.
News is in your blood, Mike.
Come on, you need us just as much as we need you.
Actually, I've got a rather full life.
The whole family's going apple picking this weekend.
Please say we can always eat breakfast here.
If dad starts going into work early like this, yes, we can.
I think it's the best thing for him.
All right, I'm bringing my laptop to a Panera like a drifter.
Why, you ask? I didn't ask.
Because I can't live/work in a converted closet! I sleep in a baby's bed, mom! When you left for college, you renounced all rights of habitation.
As a child who actually belongs in our home, Graham has dibs.
You really shouldn't even be paying for his muffin.
Okay, you don't talk.
I heard you signed out a TV for your presentation.
What sort of nonsense did you con Mr.
Diaz into letting you do? Whatever happened to teacher-student confidentiality? That's not a thing.
That will never be a thing.
Your first segment should be a return to the kind of reporting you were famous for, out on the street, hustling, the guy who always finds the story.
You can do any story you like, Mike.
Like politics or a panda at the zoo or overcoming personal obstacles.
Hey, I like that one, overcoming personal obstacles.
I'd do that one.
Harris, if I did come back, it would be for the work, not the exploitation.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
America's favorite newsman is back.
Oh, for the love of Mike Henry returns to NBC 4.
He's ready.
Are you? That's it.
I'm out of here.
Oh, come Mike Henry.
Come on.
Come on, everybody.
Mike Henry! Guaranteed ratings.
Guaranteed ratings.
Although my dad has experienced enormous tragedy in his life, just putting his pants on every morning is a gift, he bravely soldiers on, and that makes him a hero.
Uh, Eve, hang back a sec.
Great job editing that together.
Those wipe transitions, I mean, you'd be looking at one thing, and then it would just peel away and then you'd be looking at something else.
Wow.
I'm just the messenger.
I'm failing you.
What? The whole thing was manipulative, and you made no connection to The Grapes of Wrath.
I called us the modern-day Okies You had a chance here to really reflect on your family, on what your dad's been through, what you've been through, but instead you just held up a phone.
That was a puff piece.
I beg to differ.
Maybe I was wrong about this whole smart-girl-who-could-be amazing-if-she-applied herself thing, because if you were really bright, you'd know now's the time to apply yourself.
"Your skin like dawn.
Mine like musk.
" You're right.
This poetry's terrible.
That's Maya Angelou.
Oh, now that I hear it in her voice, it's breathtaking.
How was your meeting? Awful.
They already cut together a promo showing me in slow-motion.
So? When they show you in slow-motion, you're either dead or under indictment.
Or you just got kicked off of American Idol.
You had a bad day.
I think just think of me as "Mike, the poor son-of-a-bitch," not "Mike the newsman.
" I should never should've gone down there.
You're not saying anything.
I think it's not just a promo that's scaring you off.
It's live TV, you're not sure if you can do it anymore.
What if I'm not the guy they remember? You won't be.
You'll be different.
But you'll still be you.
Aren't you the guy who talked about giving up control? You think every time I get in a tough situation you can make it better by just That's a nipple.
Eve, we got to go.
Let's go.
Kay, it's Mike.
I'm back in.
What? Well, I'm the guy who always finds the story, right? We got to be at City Hall in an hour.
But I'm at 139th street, and I didn't reserve a news van or a crew.
Not your problem.
Not your problem.
I am so sorry, Mr.
Henry.
It's just, you're a hero of mine, both professionally and Televisionally, and Listen, it's gonna be okay.
If a lady can have a baby in a tree, we can handle this.
What? Mike's told us all the same story a thousand times.
There was a pregnant woman in Mozambique The day she went into labor, her village flooded.
As she was literally being taken away by the currents She climbed up a tree and gave birth.
And she stayed in that tree with her newborn until she was rescued.
So however bad you think you've got it, a lady had a baby in a tree.
- Let's hit it.
- Let me get the door.
Never mind.
How are you beating me? With one brain tied behind my back! What are you doing? Rocky.
How old are you? Look, councilman, either you explain to me how $2 billion fails to upgrade 911 or my next call will be to digital systems, where I believe your brother-in-law, Gerald, is on the board.
It's on.
911 dispatch.
Fire on the corner of west 4th and 13th.
Let's boogie.
You just gonna let it sit like What? It's a hat.
Okay.
Yes.
Car sick, huh? I'm fine.
For me, this is perfectly still.
Yeah, we just wrapped.
Yeah, they didn't get here for 48 minutes.
That's how long it took for the call to go through.
And we got a fireman saving a kitten, so take that, Color Splash.
A kitty cat? Ah, that's awesome.
Harris, I got to tell you.
You were right.
It feels great to be back out here again.
I mean, I never felt better.
Well, you're going to love this then.
They want you to introduce your segment on The Today Show, live.
First time out, and you're goin' national.
Are you serious? Yes, Matt Lauer requested you personally.
That guy's aces.
So much for easing back in.
This is big boy stuff, right? Mike? It's Mike Henry.
Personal friend.
Parkinson's.
Aw, so sad, but he's a fighter.
How's that internship doing? I like crying better than puking.
I'm trying to time my meds so they kick in just before I go on.
Hey, lady had a baby in a tree.
Yes, she did.
And we're back with a very special guest this morning.
Mike Henry is here.
It's always good to be with old friends.
It feels like you never left.
You look like you're in the pinnacle of health.
I wouldn't say pinnacle.
Let's go outside to Al right now.
Al, what's the reaction out there? Anybody like this guy? Matt, I got to tell you, seems like the whole city turned out to welcome back their anchor.
What do you guys think about Mike Henry coming back? Look at the excitement out there.
I haven't seen this in years.
I haven't seen it since The Biggest Loser was here.
Good to see him back, huh? Only took six months to figure out how to get him to run into you at Goldfarb's.
I mean, I like whitefish just as much as the next black man, but it got a little farkakt.
I still don't know why you didn't just have me call him.
You know Mike.
It had to be his idea.
So he has no clue? No.
He doesn't know about us either.
Hey, don't joke about that.
I mean, you give me a window Okay.
In his first segment back, Mike took on the city's costly overhaul of the emergency call system.
That's right, Matt.
It's a pretty compelling story, and I appreciate you giving it a nationwide audience.
How could we not? It's a thrill to have you back, Mike.
Two days ago, I accidentally made a 911 Mike, I'm sorry.
I have to cut you off.
I have to cut this short.
I'm getting word right now, we have breaking news out of Washington.
I want to go live via satellite to Peter Alexander at the White House.
Peter, take it away.
I am so sorry, Mike.
You did a great job.
I'm really sorry.
You should've done "overcoming personal obstacles" or at least "panda at the zoo.
" You don't cut away from that gold.
You all right, Mike? Hey, yeah.
You can't control everything.
Except you.
Control yourself around my wife.
I will take you down.
What do I really think about Mike Henry? He was an award-winning news anchor and an awesome dad, and then he got a stupid disease.
Hey, as long as we're together, why don't we go get some breakfast? Nah, I've got to shower before school.
I have papers to grade, so we should get going.
Well, I guess you really can't control everything.
Nope.
I love my family! Of course he's not the same person he used to be.
With everything that's happened, how could he be? Just give me a second! Stay here.
Hey.
What's that all about? I don't know.
Could be anything with her.
Who knows? You know, Harris is a really good friend.
If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be going back to work.
Well, there are a lot of reasons why things happen No, it was that one singular reason.
It's just Harris.
What do you know? Everything.
If I could wink on command, I'd wink at you right now.
Thanks.
Okay! God help us.
Hey, who blew up the kitchen? Surprise! Sit-down meal.
Get it? Their idea.
Well, this is what the dining room table looks like with food on it.
The truth is, none of us are the same, and we're still changing.
These are the idea of waffles more than actual waffles.
Because I don't have an actual oven in my apartment.
But through it all, my dad has never stopped trying, never stopped being here A part of this family.
And that's what makes him amazing.
If a lady can have a baby in a tree, then this is nothing.
This is great.
This is all I wanted.
Who wants eggs? Can you not have a personal victory right now? We are starving.
Do you think you could introduce me to Matt Lauer?
I was lead anchor of the Channel 4 News until I left five years ago.
The great thing is, I've been able to spend more time with my family.
Dad, you're moving too much.
I've got to zoom out and start again.
Honey, you could shoot me from across the street.
It wouldn't make a difference.
Maybe if you had gotten me a phone with an image stabilizer.
That would cure it.
Come on, people.
Whose turn is it to set the table? Sorry, I was stuck at this never-ending staff meeting at school.
Ooh, pasta.
Yeah, I put two things of kale in it, but you'd never know.
Hey, dad.
What do we got? Eve, set the table.
Kale.
Two things of kale.
No standing and eating.
This standing and eating thing has got to stop.
This family's going down a dangerous rabbit hole.
First we stop connecting, then next thing you know, we're under a bridge, tying each other off.
How do you know that move? I had a past before you, Annie.
Hey, dad.
Okay.
Mom, garlic bread, hit me.
No, don't hit him.
Don't hit him.
- Nice! - Okay.
- I'm still eating it.
- Really? There's a dining room table right there.
I'm looking at it.
I'm looking at it right there.
What up, fools? Enough with the kale.
We get it, you're white.
Will you put those things away? You're scaring the kids.
'Sup, Aunt Leigh? Oh, my god.
Amazing meal, dad.
Another triumph.
Let's go, Aunt Leigh.
Stop calling me Aunt Leigh.
Tonight we're sisters.
What about the plan? We were gonna have dinner, then go get frozen yogurt, and maybe have a leaf fight.
A leaf fight? Or something.
Do you know that frozen yogurt isn't actually frozen yogurt? Yeah, it's just powdered animal gelatin and corn syrup.
What are you trying to do to your family, Mike? Just be home by 10:30.
That's it? We're done? Yep.
Later.
Well, at least you and me can have a meal together.
I'm already done.
How would I describe dad? He's from Pennsylvania, not as funny as he thinks he is.
He wears hats like they just fell off a shelf in a store and whatever insane way it lands on his head, he just keeps it like that.
For 20 years, he's poured everything he had into work.
Now he pours it all into us.
Yay! Hello! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Don't make me be a tickle bear.
Go away! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! There's only one way to get me to stop.
Wakey, wakey, Kevin Bac-ey! You never had to drag me out of bed, dad.
These kids have no work ethic.
Said the college drop-out.
I didn't drop out of college.
I opted out so I could focus on my passion, reimagining the search engine.
LeBron went pro out of high school.
Why should I have to wait until I'm 22 to make my first million? Even if I have to do it in my little brother's room.
Legos everywhere.
They're not even put together right.
How is this a tug boat? Seriously.
Ah, this kid is strong.
He's badger-strong.
I've got 30 poems to grade before senior English.
How do you grade poetry? Harshly.
The world doesn't need more bad poetry, Mike.
I am the firewall.
Why don't you get out of here? I'll take the kids to school.
Okay, Eve's got a bio test first period.
Don't be late.
Why do you have to teach at my school? Why do you have to go to my school? Are you wearing that? What, are we driving a Zamboni to school? Ow! How can you hit a man in my condition? Got it? Thanks.
Hey, you guys want to go apple picking this weekend for the day? No, I want to go to Key Foods for five minutes.
Yo, 5:00 News! We love you, bro! Thanks, man.
And thanks for that.
Mike Henry, world's most beloved man.
There's no one who doesn't love you.
Harris, how you been? All right.
Getting tall, Graham.
Hey, Harris.
Hey, Eve.
That's a nice jacket.
What, you working on an oil rig? Ha.
I saw the newscast last night.
Mm.
Are you serious? Another scare piece on the dangers of fast food? The public's been warned, Harris.
They don't care.
What about the kids? It's New York.
What could happen? You know what else you've got to change? Linda's new sign-off.
I mean, "Find your happy?" We used to infiltrate gangs.
I held a cameraman's neck for an hour so he wouldn't bleed out.
I remember.
You won your fourth Emmy for that.
Hey, Mike Henry! Miss you, man! Keep fighting! He's not the only one who misses you, Mike.
We all do.
You should come back to work.
Come on.
Are you forgetting why I left? Do you remember the rolling chair thing? If you spend your time worrying about the worst-case scenario and it actually happens, you've lived it twice.
And with that, I leave you the same way I have every night for the last 11 years, stay informed, New York.
Nightly news is next.
Well, you seem better.
Plus we have these little things called wheel locks now.
Look, Harris, I don't want a pity job.
We both know if I come back, NBC's going to milk it by showing me in slow motion with lame uplifting music in the background.
As long as I'm the news director, that will not happen.
It's a good idea, though.
Come on.
Just think about it.
We need you, man.
No one's watching the news anymore.
We got beat by a show called Color Splash last night.
That's literally watching paint dry.
Mike Henry.
You're a brave man.
My grandma has Parkinson's.
Yes, my dad is a celebrity, and people love him.
Blah, blah, blah.
But why does everyone have to stop and tell him about another person who also has Parkinson's? Alcoholism is a disease.
Do people go up to David Hasselhoff and tell him about their crazy uncles? All right, guys, settle down.
Grapes of Wrath updates, Eve, how's it going? Good.
Really good, thanks.
How are you? I'm good.
Thanks.
Please tell me you started your project.
Of course I have.
I am doing a video on another family, the Henrys.
I just think that if I could compare my father's struggles to that of the migrant laborers, that could really go a long way with the healing.
Sounds good.
Due Thursday.
In The Grapes of Wrath Ma and Pa Joad escape the dust bowl.
My dad's condition is the dust bowl of my family, and we are the grapes.
Wait, are we the grapes, or are we the wrath? Ah, who gives a Quiet! I'm trying to work in here.
You be quiet.
If Parkinson's has taught me anything, it's that you can't control everything.
Last newscast? Yeah, they run a Levitra ad in front of it now.
What's Levitra? I so love that you don't know.
Nightly news is next.
And he sticks the landing! So you told Harris that you are definitely not going back? I mean, I'd just be a feel-good story to them.
I don't want to be the guy who gets a standing ovation every day at work.
Standing ovations? Ugh, those sons of bitches.
You know what I'm saying.
I feel like you've been a little intense around here lately, that's all.
The apple picking, leaf fights? I don't like leaf fights.
I'm not a raccoon.
When I left work, I thought the silver lining was that I'd get to spend more time with you and the kids, but now you all have your own things going on.
I have just the fix for you.
You have to be here tomorrow between 11:00 and 6:00.
We need a new dishwasher because Graham broke ours.
Graham.
All you have to do is let them in.
And make sure that they connect the main water line to the filter line and you know what? Hey, I'll leave you a note.
You know I hate this stuff.
I was going to go work on my book tomorrow.
Well, I can make it up to you.
When was the last time you took your medication? Hours ago.
Oh, good.
Then I don't have to do all the work.
I don't know, it feels like bangs are for heavy people.
I had bangs last summer.
Well, you're the exception that proves the rule, although summer is always your biggest season, if I'm just being real.
Thanks for that.
Is this why I can't go write today? So you can babysit a haircut? It's not just some haircut, Michael.
It's a symbol of my mortality.
At the concert, some idiot actually thought that I was old enough to be Eve's mom.
Does this idiot have eyes, ears, and the ability to process information? I know it's hard for you to step outside your charmed life and see other people's challenges, but I'm about to turn 30-ff-nna.
I have less eggs inside me than a Bennigan's because they don't serve breakfast.
Michael, are you even listening to me? Oh, no.
You lost me at Bennigan's.
Whatever happened to Bennigan's? Mike's a generous big brother, to a point.
Like, he helps me pay rent on an apartment in the building, but it's in the basement.
These windows don't let any light in, but scumbags can watch me walk around naked.
Why don't you close the blinds? Because one of those scumbags might be a doctor.
Mike Henry! News on Channel 4! Stay informs! Dishwasher! Mike Henry! Right, Mike Henry.
Dishwasher.
This is the place.
Where is this thing? Oh, here it is.
Oh, great.
"Connect the gravy" Why would it say "gravy?" This is not gonna be helpful.
So you know what I'll do? I'll call my wife on her cell phone, and she will straighten this whole thing out.
That's my Peabody Award.
911.
What is your emergency? 911? No, I didn't call 911.
No, there's no emergency.
You know what I did? I called 917 but I misdialed.
My drugs haven't kicked in.
I'm fine.
I'm fine! Hello? I give up! I don't know which one it is.
I give up.
I give up.
I give up.
Back away! Hands up! N.
Y.
P.
D! Nyet! Nyet! Nyet! I'm fine! I said I was fine on the phone! Doesn't matter.
We have to respond.
Better safe than sorry.
You know, I called 45 minutes ago.
If this were a real emergency, it'd fall squarely in the "sorry" category.
It's not us.
It's the new 911 call system.
That's what you get for $2 billion.
$2 billion? We'll just come back tomorrow.
Between 11:00 and 6:00.
Wait, I get Stay informs! Stay informs Informed! Did he say "sex?" Yeah, Harris.
It's Mike.
I been thinking about your offer.
You still got those wheel locks? Excuse me, Mr.
Henry.
Since we're both here, could I get you to sign an autograph? My uncle's got Alzheimer's.
I've actually got Parkinson's.
Either way.
Harris, I got to get back to work.
Ian, come in here! It's dinner time.
Okay, do that again, but say "Ian, I need help!" And shake it up a little.
You're garbage.
You're a garbage daughter.
Good, we're all here.
I got an announcement I want to make.
I don't want you to get angry or confused or scared, but I'm thinking about going back to work.
Oh! Thank god! Yes! I said I was thinking about it.
Good to know where I stand.
We're just kind of happy that you're getting out of the house.
Kind of? You've been driving us all a little crazy lately.
What? That's nuts.
All right, damn it! That's not happening again! Spit that out.
Spit that out.
No more standing meals.
I'm telling you.
This is gonna happen.
Okay, you have got to stop that.
He is eight years old, Mike.
'Cause he's not eating at a family table.
Ha! There he is! Welcome home, my friend.
This is an exploratory meeting.
Oh, of course.
No one knows you're here.
I lied.
They love you, man.
The whole world loves you.
You're a bad man.
Welcome back, Mr.
Henry.
I'm Kay, your new segment producer.
Potential new segment producer.
Right.
I've got to earn it.
And I will.
Because to be a part of this, a part of you, to call it inspirational is Are you crying? Is she crying? If you don't like her, I can drop her like a stone.
No, I like that she's shorter than me.
It's a nice touch.
Look at you.
You're back already.
And here's the old control room.
Mike Henry.
There's the man of the hour.
Matthew.
Matt Lauer and I have always had a rivalry.
We both came up together.
One of us still has his hair.
It's a one-sided rivalry fueled by jealousy.
Jealousy? I just saw your Welcome Back promo.
I couldn't be happier.
You are one of the best.
Well, thanks, man.
See you at the track later? Yeah, I'll see you there.
Can you believe that guy? Awful, awful man.
Why don't people see that Wait a minute.
What do you mean "promo?" All right, fine.
I was straight-up assuming you were coming back.
I saw you in the street, mannying your kids.
It was sad.
"Mannying?" It's called parenthood, Harris.
And most men don't spend their lives trying to avoid it.
Hey, 30 years of lovemaking, not even one slip.
Not even a scare.
Maybe you're doing it wrong.
It's like this, right? Some things happen for a reason, Mike, like us running into each other at Goldfarb's.
It was fate.
News is in your blood, Mike.
Come on, you need us just as much as we need you.
Actually, I've got a rather full life.
The whole family's going apple picking this weekend.
Please say we can always eat breakfast here.
If dad starts going into work early like this, yes, we can.
I think it's the best thing for him.
All right, I'm bringing my laptop to a Panera like a drifter.
Why, you ask? I didn't ask.
Because I can't live/work in a converted closet! I sleep in a baby's bed, mom! When you left for college, you renounced all rights of habitation.
As a child who actually belongs in our home, Graham has dibs.
You really shouldn't even be paying for his muffin.
Okay, you don't talk.
I heard you signed out a TV for your presentation.
What sort of nonsense did you con Mr.
Diaz into letting you do? Whatever happened to teacher-student confidentiality? That's not a thing.
That will never be a thing.
Your first segment should be a return to the kind of reporting you were famous for, out on the street, hustling, the guy who always finds the story.
You can do any story you like, Mike.
Like politics or a panda at the zoo or overcoming personal obstacles.
Hey, I like that one, overcoming personal obstacles.
I'd do that one.
Harris, if I did come back, it would be for the work, not the exploitation.
I wouldn't have it any other way.
America's favorite newsman is back.
Oh, for the love of Mike Henry returns to NBC 4.
He's ready.
Are you? That's it.
I'm out of here.
Oh, come Mike Henry.
Come on.
Come on, everybody.
Mike Henry! Guaranteed ratings.
Guaranteed ratings.
Although my dad has experienced enormous tragedy in his life, just putting his pants on every morning is a gift, he bravely soldiers on, and that makes him a hero.
Uh, Eve, hang back a sec.
Great job editing that together.
Those wipe transitions, I mean, you'd be looking at one thing, and then it would just peel away and then you'd be looking at something else.
Wow.
I'm just the messenger.
I'm failing you.
What? The whole thing was manipulative, and you made no connection to The Grapes of Wrath.
I called us the modern-day Okies You had a chance here to really reflect on your family, on what your dad's been through, what you've been through, but instead you just held up a phone.
That was a puff piece.
I beg to differ.
Maybe I was wrong about this whole smart-girl-who-could-be amazing-if-she-applied herself thing, because if you were really bright, you'd know now's the time to apply yourself.
"Your skin like dawn.
Mine like musk.
" You're right.
This poetry's terrible.
That's Maya Angelou.
Oh, now that I hear it in her voice, it's breathtaking.
How was your meeting? Awful.
They already cut together a promo showing me in slow-motion.
So? When they show you in slow-motion, you're either dead or under indictment.
Or you just got kicked off of American Idol.
You had a bad day.
I think just think of me as "Mike, the poor son-of-a-bitch," not "Mike the newsman.
" I should never should've gone down there.
You're not saying anything.
I think it's not just a promo that's scaring you off.
It's live TV, you're not sure if you can do it anymore.
What if I'm not the guy they remember? You won't be.
You'll be different.
But you'll still be you.
Aren't you the guy who talked about giving up control? You think every time I get in a tough situation you can make it better by just That's a nipple.
Eve, we got to go.
Let's go.
Kay, it's Mike.
I'm back in.
What? Well, I'm the guy who always finds the story, right? We got to be at City Hall in an hour.
But I'm at 139th street, and I didn't reserve a news van or a crew.
Not your problem.
Not your problem.
I am so sorry, Mr.
Henry.
It's just, you're a hero of mine, both professionally and Televisionally, and Listen, it's gonna be okay.
If a lady can have a baby in a tree, we can handle this.
What? Mike's told us all the same story a thousand times.
There was a pregnant woman in Mozambique The day she went into labor, her village flooded.
As she was literally being taken away by the currents She climbed up a tree and gave birth.
And she stayed in that tree with her newborn until she was rescued.
So however bad you think you've got it, a lady had a baby in a tree.
- Let's hit it.
- Let me get the door.
Never mind.
How are you beating me? With one brain tied behind my back! What are you doing? Rocky.
How old are you? Look, councilman, either you explain to me how $2 billion fails to upgrade 911 or my next call will be to digital systems, where I believe your brother-in-law, Gerald, is on the board.
It's on.
911 dispatch.
Fire on the corner of west 4th and 13th.
Let's boogie.
You just gonna let it sit like What? It's a hat.
Okay.
Yes.
Car sick, huh? I'm fine.
For me, this is perfectly still.
Yeah, we just wrapped.
Yeah, they didn't get here for 48 minutes.
That's how long it took for the call to go through.
And we got a fireman saving a kitten, so take that, Color Splash.
A kitty cat? Ah, that's awesome.
Harris, I got to tell you.
You were right.
It feels great to be back out here again.
I mean, I never felt better.
Well, you're going to love this then.
They want you to introduce your segment on The Today Show, live.
First time out, and you're goin' national.
Are you serious? Yes, Matt Lauer requested you personally.
That guy's aces.
So much for easing back in.
This is big boy stuff, right? Mike? It's Mike Henry.
Personal friend.
Parkinson's.
Aw, so sad, but he's a fighter.
How's that internship doing? I like crying better than puking.
I'm trying to time my meds so they kick in just before I go on.
Hey, lady had a baby in a tree.
Yes, she did.
And we're back with a very special guest this morning.
Mike Henry is here.
It's always good to be with old friends.
It feels like you never left.
You look like you're in the pinnacle of health.
I wouldn't say pinnacle.
Let's go outside to Al right now.
Al, what's the reaction out there? Anybody like this guy? Matt, I got to tell you, seems like the whole city turned out to welcome back their anchor.
What do you guys think about Mike Henry coming back? Look at the excitement out there.
I haven't seen this in years.
I haven't seen it since The Biggest Loser was here.
Good to see him back, huh? Only took six months to figure out how to get him to run into you at Goldfarb's.
I mean, I like whitefish just as much as the next black man, but it got a little farkakt.
I still don't know why you didn't just have me call him.
You know Mike.
It had to be his idea.
So he has no clue? No.
He doesn't know about us either.
Hey, don't joke about that.
I mean, you give me a window Okay.
In his first segment back, Mike took on the city's costly overhaul of the emergency call system.
That's right, Matt.
It's a pretty compelling story, and I appreciate you giving it a nationwide audience.
How could we not? It's a thrill to have you back, Mike.
Two days ago, I accidentally made a 911 Mike, I'm sorry.
I have to cut you off.
I have to cut this short.
I'm getting word right now, we have breaking news out of Washington.
I want to go live via satellite to Peter Alexander at the White House.
Peter, take it away.
I am so sorry, Mike.
You did a great job.
I'm really sorry.
You should've done "overcoming personal obstacles" or at least "panda at the zoo.
" You don't cut away from that gold.
You all right, Mike? Hey, yeah.
You can't control everything.
Except you.
Control yourself around my wife.
I will take you down.
What do I really think about Mike Henry? He was an award-winning news anchor and an awesome dad, and then he got a stupid disease.
Hey, as long as we're together, why don't we go get some breakfast? Nah, I've got to shower before school.
I have papers to grade, so we should get going.
Well, I guess you really can't control everything.
Nope.
I love my family! Of course he's not the same person he used to be.
With everything that's happened, how could he be? Just give me a second! Stay here.
Hey.
What's that all about? I don't know.
Could be anything with her.
Who knows? You know, Harris is a really good friend.
If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be going back to work.
Well, there are a lot of reasons why things happen No, it was that one singular reason.
It's just Harris.
What do you know? Everything.
If I could wink on command, I'd wink at you right now.
Thanks.
Okay! God help us.
Hey, who blew up the kitchen? Surprise! Sit-down meal.
Get it? Their idea.
Well, this is what the dining room table looks like with food on it.
The truth is, none of us are the same, and we're still changing.
These are the idea of waffles more than actual waffles.
Because I don't have an actual oven in my apartment.
But through it all, my dad has never stopped trying, never stopped being here A part of this family.
And that's what makes him amazing.
If a lady can have a baby in a tree, then this is nothing.
This is great.
This is all I wanted.
Who wants eggs? Can you not have a personal victory right now? We are starving.
Do you think you could introduce me to Matt Lauer?