The Mighty Ducks: Game Changers (2021) s01e01 Episode Script
Game On
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
MAN: Let's go!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
NICK: Welcome to The Wraparound,
the number two youth hockey podcast
in Southeastern Minnesota.
It's the first practice
of the new season
for the Mighty Ducks junior division.
This is real. This is
happening, you guys.
Everyone who's anyone is here.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- Hi, honey.
- EVAN: Hey, Mom.
You know I can't be
late on the first day.
Ah. I know. I'm in the car, actually.
Well, I'm on the way
to the car in the parking lot
I can't lie to you. I haven't left yet,
but I'll be right there.
- Okay. Buh-bye.
- Hey, what's up, Dan?
We need our most
brilliant paralegal, that's you,
to go through this list
and identify the tenants
in this apartment building
that are still there so we can
make them not be there.
Could we put a pin in this?
I have got to go.
- Maybe Stephanie could take
- No. Stephanie's long gone.
She had to take her twins
to hockey practice.
You know, she never misses it.
She's a great mom.
(WHISTLING)
Coach T seems to be sporting
a new mullet with great flow.
Yeah, he is!
Now, for anyone who's
new to the show or Earth,
the Ducks are a powerhouse organization
with a record ten state championships.
A little different than
the Ducks of the '90s.
They actually used to quack. (CHUCKLES)
Adorable.
Now, these Ducks,
they train like it's a job.
They study tape, they
get hip flexor injuries.
I mean, if you haven't done
all of this before you hit puberty,
you're way behind.
Okay. Hey, don't forget to stretch.
- Okay.
- Is your water bottle full?
- Yeah. I have so much water.
- Sunscreen, sunscreen.
- You know we play indoors, right?
- That's what SPF-15 is for.
Come on, let's go. We're late. Woo-hoo!
Don't hurt yourself.
EVAN: This bag is bigger than me.
ALEX: You got it, you got it.
- BRIAN: Yeah! Sofi!
- (CROWD CHEERING)
All day long! All day long.
- Hey, guys. Hey, Stephanie.
- Hey.
She made it. Where were you?
Oh, I was at the office doing that thing
you asked Dan to ask me to do.
Oh, right. Right. (CHUCKLES)
This one works so hard
and such a great attitude.
PLAYER: Missed a board!
I'm here. I'm here and I'm ready.
So, we still hang at your place after?
- We got a hot tub, so, yeah.
- Nice.
Can I borrow a bathing suit,
or is that weird?
(SCOFFS) That's super weird.
Oh. Obviously.
Alex, we didn't see you at any
of the clinics this summer.
Ugh, I know. I went online, like,
ten minutes after the stuff opened,
you know, to sign up.
And they were all full, so
But it was summer vacation, so
Our college counselor says there
is no summer vacation anymore.
(SNORTS)
- You have a college counselor already?
- Yeah.
You don't?
You are so brave.
(GRUNTING)
Sofi.
Evan Morrow in the house.
Close. But you missed the cone.
I'm not aiming for the cone.
Whoa! So you're also a golf pro now?
You take some shots.
- (SOFI GROANS)
- Hey, you all right?
I'm perfect.
Morrow. Less mingling,
more skating. Let's go.
Yes, sir.
That's Evan Morrow, he's
actually my next door neighbor.
We're not super tight or anything.
But him and his mom have often been
our non-Jewish guests at Passover.
- Oh, that's fun.
- Yeah.
(COACH T WHISTLING)
All right, listen up.
You guys are moving up
to the 12 to 14 age bracket.
It's gonna make nine-to-eleven
seem like kid stuff and
this roster's not yet set.
So?
Who wants it?
Scrimmage, now, let's go.
Come on! Let's go!
Come on! Let's go! Let's go!
Okay. Snack schedule for practices.
Let's be sure we get some
protein this year, people.
I mean, we don't want a replay
of that cheese puff incident.
It was the one time
and I was running late.
I ran into the mini-mart. Do you know
there is real cheese in those puffs?
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
(COACH T WHISTLING)
COACH T: Lean into it!
(EVAN GROANING)
Late on the ice, slow on the ice.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- PLAYER: Yeah!
COACH T: Step up, take the hit!
(RETCHING)
- Another purple change! Let's go!
- EVAN: I'm going!
PLAYER: Back in!
COACH T: Get that puck!
Eyes on the puck!
(GROANING)
COACH T: Change!
Here we go! Here we go!
Here he comes!
Are you kidding me?
Wake up! Are you kidding me?
MAN 1: There he is.
- All right, that's it. Bring it in.
- MAN 2: Nice work.
Morrow.
Hang back.
I'm sorry, Coach. I promise
I'll get faster. I just
COACH T: Maybe you will.
But it won't be on the Ducks.
I gotta cut you.
Look, guy, you work hard.
You're good, but you're
not good enough, so
But I'm a Mighty Duck. This is my team.
What's going on?
We're letting him go.
Look, buddy, it's the
12-to-14-year-old age bracket.
You're just too small
to compete at the next level.
But aren't you always saying
"you can't measure heart"?
Yeah, that's something I got off
the Internet and I'm phasing it out.
Look, I'm doing you a favor, man.
You should find something
you could be really good at.
I mean, at this age, if you
can't be great at hockey,
it's like, don't bother.
Head up.
"Don't bother"?
- "Don't bother"?
- Mom, please.
You know, I never bought
into any of this craziness.
I just did it because
my kid loves hockey,
but I guess that doesn't matter now.
(SIGHS WEARILY)
So let me lay a couple
of truths on you guys.
This scene is nuts.
The 6:00 a.m. practices,
the thousand-dollar clinics,
the God-like worship of protein.
Do you understand that
there is about zero chance
that any one of these kids is
gonna play professional hockey?
So why are you living like this?
Stephanie?
You brought two private trainers
to your kid's hockey practice.
Does that seem normal to you?
I'm not a trainer. I'm a
pediatric sports psychologist.
(SCOFFS)
Does no one see the insanity but me?
COACH T: These parents
are serious, all right?
They pay me to win.
We're not here to have fun.
Guys! Shouldn't kids be
able to play sports for fun?
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
Wow.
(EXHALES) Okay.
You know what me and Evan are gonna do
while you guys are busy training
your little hockey robots?
We're gonna go to a store and
we're gonna buy all the cheese puffs
we can friggin' find, which I lied,
contain no actual cheese,
and we're gonna go home and
sit on the couch and eat them.
These are children. This is a game.
You're telling my son, "Don't bother."
You, don't bother, sir.
You don't bother.
We are out of here.
(GRUNTING)
And that's all for tonight
on The Wraparound.
So she sits under the Minnesota moon,
wondering, "What lies ahead?"
Hey, Nick.
Hi. Just wrapping up my podcast.
- Cool.
- Any chance for a follow-up interview?
- Uh, I don't think so.
- Great. I'm headed over.
(WEAKLY) Great.
This is Nick The Stick,
coming in with an exclusive interview
with Alex Morrow after
her tragic breakdown.
I just don't wanna make
a bigger fool out of myself
than I already did.
You did not make a fool of yourself.
Did I hear the maintenance crew
on their walkie-talkies
saying what a fool you made of yourself?
- I did.
- He's so upset,
he won't come out of his room.
I feel terrible.
I just wanted to help him play.
I feel ya. I love hockey.
If it were up to me,
I'd be out there with him.
Why isn't it up to you?
Well, I was on the Peewee Participation
Trophy Circuit 'til I was six.
But at my age, if you're
not already awesome,
practicing seven days a week
and on a club team or
whatever It's just like
"Don't bother."
Hey, the Ducks don't get to
take hockey away from you.
- Can you just leave me alone, please?
- No, I'm sorry. I cannot.
I want you to think
about all the other kids
who've been told that
they're too small or too slow.
They just wanna get out there and play.
Let's start our own team.
A whole group of Don't Bothers.
Nick, come in here.
Look at this. Your first teammate!
NICK: "Teammate"?
I don't know what to say. Yes.
You can't just start a team.
There's gotta be rules.
It says in order to be a team,
you just have to have six players,
a home rink, and a coach
over the age of 21.
We can totally do that.
But you have to be registered
by Team Day this Friday,
so we only have three days.
We can maybe do that.
Wouldn't even be any good.
- No offense.
- No, I agree.
I would not be an asset physically.
I have more of a podcast body.
Okay, so it wouldn't be
a powerhouse team
like the Ducks, but
that's not the point.
And anyway, who cares?
Those guys don't deserve you.
I'll find a coach. I'll find a rink.
You guys find four more players
and let's just get out
there and have fun.
All right, let's give it a shot.
Yes Psych.
Okay, this is exciting.
I do not own ice skates!
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
We just need four players. Who we got?
We got tons of kids
who I don't know at all.
- BOY: Comin' through! Oh, yeah!
- (CRASHES)
(GASPS)
'Sup?
So, Sam, I noticed you enjoy
flinging your body into large objects.
Somebody dares you to do something,
you gotta do it. Right?
Have you ever thought of playing hockey?
Nah, too many rules. Not a rules guy.
Sofi.
Hey, Evan. Look, I'm
so sorry you got cut.
Oh, what? That? It ain't no thang.
You know, actually, I'm
starting a new hockey team.
Love you to be a part of it.
You're asking me to quit the Ducks?
Well, I know your parents
are always on your case.
Something's going on with your knee
'cause you're pushing so hard.
You're not happy there.
You think I'm gonna be happier
on a team that's worse?
You think that's gonna get
my parents to let up on me?
I'm sorry. I gotta go.
Hello, ladies.
I love that crop top.
Is that Brandy Melville?
(GIGGLING)
I know you're all popular
and winners in the game of life,
but would any of you
want to join a ragtag,
yet very hip hockey team?
Yeah. Think we're gonna be good.
- (SIGHS)
- Don't let 'em get to you.
They make fun of me 'cause
I dress like a warrior princess
and go to Magic: The
Gathering conventions.
But it doesn't bother me.
Freaks.
(LAUGHING)
- Could you guys move over?
- "You don't bother, sir."
Very funny. Very funny.
ALEX: Telling my son, "Don't bother."
You don't bother.
- "You don't bother, sir."
- You don't bother.
"You don't bother, sir."
"You don't bother, sir." (LAUGHS)
ALL: "You don't bother, sir."
"You don't bother, sir."
- Hey. How'd it go with Sofi?
- Hey.
Hard pass. And apparently, I can't
sit at the Ducks' table anymore.
My sports career is dead
and now my social life is, too.
Look, five Tater Tots.
Not even a full order.
Well, there's plenty of room here.
I'll just
I don't know how we're
gonna find any new players.
Oh! I have an idea.
What if I AirDrop everyone
in here about the new team?
"New team."
"Big first practice tomorrow."
And send.
(PHONES CHIMING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
And the seed has been planted.
Yes, I called about,
uh, time on the ice.
After school?
"Is it a beer league?"
How dare you, sir? They're 12.
(CHUCKLES)
Uh, no, it's just normal people
Kids Twelves
No time. Okay, bye.
(DIALING)
Okay. Ah! You're burning, you're burning.
Not you. I'm looking
for time on the ice
COMMENTATOR: Injuries
have plagued the squad
EVAN: (GRUNTS) Pass it.
Just pass it. Hit the shot.
(NICK GROANING)
I can't get past this goalie. Who is he?
- COMMENTATOR: Another huge stop!
- I don't know. Let's see.
Username, Koob13.
Jaden Koobler, our age.
He's played this game for 10,000 hours.
Where are his parents?
He's never been scored on.
- Do you think
- Looking him up.
- (OWL HOOTING)
- We're almost there.
Is it me, or does it feel like we're
about to enter the house from It?
Go ahead.
(DOOR CREAKING)
EVAN: Thank you, Mrs. Koobler.
MRS. KOOBLER: You're welcome!
COMMENTATOR: Boston is
down a man after the hook
Koob13?
Evan and Nick, we were playing
against you all afternoon?
And I think you're in my Spanish class.
Hola, amigo.
Here's the thing. We're
starting a new hockey team.
And you're such an amazing
video game goalie.
You're a wall.
We were wondering if you
want to join us, be our wall.
You mean go upstairs?
(HESITATING)
Yeah. It would be upstairs, yeah,
in an actual rink with
ice and real people.
Real people let you down.
Believe me, I know
that can be true. But
And why would you think
I could even play for real?
I mean, look at me.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Too far.
That's called reflexes, Koob.
You see things, dude,
before and better than anyone.
And that is what makes you special.
Yeah,
but then I'd have to wear pants.
(JOYSTICK CLICKING)
How can you have no ice time?
You're the last place on my list.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
Hello?
It is so great you're trying
to form a new team for Evan.
You're so scrappy.
(GIGGLES SARCASTICALLY) Thank you.
So, update on the old
apartment building.
They're offering the rent control
tenants a cash buyout.
It's not huge, but they're throwing in
a three-month free membership
to the building's new gym.
So, I need you to go down there,
hand out these brochures
and just sell it to them.
Uh, what happens to the people
after the three-month
gym membership's over?
I don't know, but they're
gonna be in fantastic shape.
Right. But isn't that kind of, um
(CLICKS TONGUE) what's
the word I'm looking for?
Evil?
See, this is what I love about you.
You always want to
fight for the little guy.
You're so good.
And also, you get a free three-month
gym membership at the new building.
TENANT: But I won't be livin' there.
That's correct. However
You know what? I wouldn't
take this deal either.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
(SIGHS WEARILY)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(EXHALES)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
Oh, hello. Excuse me.
I'm looking for the manager.
Are you the manager?
MAN: Yeah. Hold on.
I'm adjusting the hydraulics.
Very delicate process.
(ENGINE HISSES)
You lost?
If you're looking to rent
skates, that's up front.
Oh, no. I am not here to rent skates.
I have not skated since my
triumphant turn in eighth grade.
Oh, and I, uh, did a routine
to Whitney Houston's
The Greatest Love of All.
So you're here to tell me about
your Whitney Houston skating routine?
- You do realize we've never met.
- I'm so sorry.
My name is Alex. Hello.
Okay, we've met. That
was fun. Take care, now.
(STAMMERS) Wait. Hold on. Wait.
I need ice.
My son just got fired from his
hockey team by a very mean coach.
Let me guess. The Ducks?
Yeah, the Mighty Ducks.
Do you know them?
A little bit. Yeah. How old?
I think they were 7-year-olds?
No, the cake. How old?
I wanna say three hours?
Anyway, I'm helping him put together
a new team and we need a home rink.
I'm guessing you didn't see
the sign. Kinda says it all.
I hate hockey.
You hate hockey? You run an ice rink.
Weird, huh? I'm sorry, I'm being
rude. Would you like some?
No, no.
Sure? These kids' birthday parties
always order way too much cake.
- I'll give you the flower.
- I'm fine. Thank you.
Please. Isn't there something I can say
to convince you to let us play?
Look, you don't wanna be here. Trust me.
I can barely afford
to keep the ice frozen.
Not sure I'm gonna
make it through the winter.
Great. I can solve all your problems.
I have money.
I found a city surplus for youth
hockey that was unclaimed.
How much we talking about?
I think we might be able to find
some wiggle room
on the "no-hockey" thing.
- Really? Really?
- Yeah.
- I got it?
- Yeah.
- Yes!
- Congratulations.
It's an exciting time to be alive.
I'll get the paperwork.
Oh, thank you.
We're in the middle of
updating our system, so
Forget it. We'll find it later.
Hey, were you some sort of
professional hockey player?
I was "some sort of
professional hockey player."
Wow!
- That's pretty amazing.
- Not really.
I got started too late or I was
never really good enough.
Either way, it's over,
and hopefully, what we're doing
now will be over soon, too.
I hear you. I am exiting. Leaving.
I do have one more question.
I have 24 hours to find a coach,
and I'm just saying
No. I am not the coach type.
Here's the long and short of it.
I hate hockey and I don't like kids.
They don't make a sign for that.
Believe me, I've looked.
So here's the deal.
I'm gonna give you the ice.
You're gonna give me the money.
If you need anything else,
talk to the cocoa girl.
Her name's Winnie.
- And what's your name?
- I'm Gordon Bombay.
Welcome to the Ice Palace.
(PHONE CHIMES)
- EVAN: My mom found us a rink.
- (NICK GRUNTING)
She says it's called the Ice Palace.
It's all coming together.
How is it coming together?
Our entire team is still
just me and you, bud.
I get that, but I'm rapidly improving.
- (THUDS)
- (CAR SIRENS BLARING)
(VEHICLE HONKING)
(CAR SCREECHING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Uh, yeah, we just moved here from Toronto.
Cool. Cool.
So, Logan, it looks
like you play hockey.
Yeah, I've been known to
slap the biscuit around a bit.
I don't know much about the
hockey scene around here.
- Do you guys play?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we do. Um
Some pretty nice skates you got.
They get me from point A to point B.
(WHISPERING) Dude, those
are Bauer Vapor Pros.
They're like 900 bucks.
This kid has to be amazing!
(CLEARS THROAT) So, Logan,
we were thinking, um,
maybe you want to join our hockey team?
We have our first hockey practice
tonight. You should come by.
- I'll see you on the ice.
- Okay.
You know, I did a little
reading on this rink.
Legend has it, a kid
once fell through the ice,
and he's still there.
So basically, we're
skating on frozen boy.
But it's nice.
I thought we would find more
players. Team Day's tomorrow.
Yeah, we did get Logan, though.
- Where is that guy?
- (EVAN GRUNTING)
- NICK: You good? Did that hurt?
- ALEX: You're okay.
- EVAN: I'm okay.
- Thumbs up.
Why am I yelling?
Sorry. I get a little crazy.
It's just the two of us at home.
- Are you a single mom?
- Mmm-hmm.
- My mom was a single mom of me.
- Ha.
Yeah, so single.
That kid does not have a dad.
I mean, technically,
obviously he has a dad,
- but he's never in the picture
- (WHIRRING)
(INAUDIBLE)
then I had to drop out of
law school to take care of us.
I don't know why I'm
telling you this whole story.
It's okay. People tend to open up
to me at the hot chocolate bar.
Really?
- Whipped cream?
- Got to.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Finally.
He's magnificent.
(GRUNTING)
Is he doing a trick?
I probably should have
mentioned. I actually suck.
Okay. Okay, that's it. I'm done.
Come on, hey.
EVAN: I'm so sick of this!
Why do I bother? "You don't bother."
- I'll give you a hand.
- EVAN: Why do I friggin' bother?
This kid comes in here with $900 skates.
- Doesn't even know how to skate.
- Hey, what's going on?
I told you this whole thing
was a bad idea, Mom.
We have to show up tomorrow
at 4:00 p.m. with a team.
It's over. I'm done.
It's not over. It's not done.
You still have time.
You'll find some more teammates
at school tomorrow.
I'm a joke at school, Mom.
Ever since I was cut,
no one wants to be my friend.
No one wants to sit with me at lunch.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, a video
of your speech went viral.
They make fun of me for it every day.
Ugh. I'm gonna go to
that school and talk
No, no, please. Not that. You've
already embarrassed me enough.
GORDON: Kid's right.
- What?
- Couple of things.
First, I've seen your meltdown video.
It's epic. I mean, great stuff. Really.
Second, do not go to that school.
Kids have to fight their own battles.
Last thing he needs is for you to
go in and rescue him all the time.
My mom never did that for me.
Great. I mean, look
at you now. (CHUCKLES)
How's that leftover Wreck-It Ralph cake?
Hmm.
Hard around the edges,
soft in the middle.
- Kind of like Ralph himself.
- ALEX: Hmm.
Wait.
You're Gordon Bombay.
Minnesota Miracle Man.
Mom, he used to coach
the old Mighty Ducks.
He invented the Flying V.
He's a living legend.
Uh, sorry. I thought you said
you weren't the coaching type.
You used to coach the Ducks?
Yep. I coached the Ducks.
It was a lifetime ago.
Totally different now.
Parents trying to engineer
their kids' entire lives.
Yes, I'm trying to pull him
away from those freaks.
You're just as bad as they are.
- How so?
- You do everything for this kid.
You tell off the old team.
You set up the new one.
You make him wear sunscreen indoors.
Don't deny it. I saw you do it.
Now you want to fight
his bullies for him?
I'll bet you even still
slice his grapes in half.
Do you slice his grapes?
I don't have to submit to some
lame parenting test from you.
- Does she slice your grapes?
- You don't have to answer.
- She does.
- You could choke.
Bottom line, is you gotta back off
or this boy is never gonna
become his own man.
What's your name?
- Evan, sir.
- You gotta lay off your mom, Evan.
I mean, she's doing it all wrong,
but she's hustling to make this
happen because she loves you.
But at this point, if you
really wanna play hockey,
which is a big dead end, if you ask me,
then you gotta make
this happen for yourself.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
Excuse me.
Excuse me, everyone. Hello.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION CONTINUES)
- Give me your tray.
- Okay.
(CONVERSATION HALTS)
My pudding.
Hello, everyone. My name is Evan.
A few of you may know me
from the viral video of my mom.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Yeah!
Yeah. I'll admit it is a good watch.
But the thing is, everything
she said in that video was true.
I used to be a Mighty Duck.
It was awesome being
part of the cool kids,
sitting at the cool table.
But I always felt like I was hanging on,
trying to prove I could
be a part of that,
but not anymore.
Because what I've realized
is the Ducks aren't the
center of the universe.
Sure, they may be stronger.
They may be more athletic.
They may even smell better.
But the second I was cut from the team,
they cut me from their lives.
- But in a weird way, I'm happy I was cut.
- What's he doing?
Because now I'm starting a new team.
Just me, Nick and Logan.
And all we need is a few more players.
Yeah, it's gonna be different.
We may not win a lot,
but we are gonna have
each other's backs.
We will play with heart.
So is there anyone who wants in?
Is there anyone who understands
a little bit of what I'm trying to say?
I'm in.
I've never played hockey,
but I think I might have an inner rage
that really needs an outlet.
Thank you, Lauren Gibby.
I also own nunchucks.
Do not bring those to practice.
I get it.
I always feel like I'm hanging
on. It's exhausting.
Constantly being nervous and
trying to fit in with this group.
So I want to join you. I mean,
can I? Is that okay, or
Very okay. Bye-bye.
Hey, Sam.
I dare you to join our hockey team.
Somebody dares you to do
something, you gotta do it, right?
I'm there.
EVAN: All right. We just
need one more player.
And I'm
Just gonna throw this Gatorade
bottle away. So not with ya.
(MIGHTY DUCKS PLAYERS SNICKER)
That's not cool.
What you said has moved me.
I will be your wall.
Thank you, Koob13!
Guys, guys, I think we did it.
Men don't cut their grapes.
(CHOKING)
I get it.
That's why I stick to raisins.
- (CHEERING)
- (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Hello, and welcome to the Southeastern
Minnesota Club Division Team Day!
As reigning state champions,
the Ducks are honored
to host this event again.
Now it's time for the
ceremonial team skate.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it
up for the Bloomington Bears.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Next up, we have the Edina Hawks.
And now we have the
Coon Rapids Cardinals!
Ev! Hey!
- I can't believe you put a team together!
- I know, right!
But wait. Who's gonna be your coach?
It's you. It has to be you.
Me? I have never even played hockey.
You can do anything, Mom.
- Come here.
- (BOTH GIGGLING)
And last but not least,
the defending state champions,
the Mighty Ducks!
(CROWD CHEERING)
That's all our teams.
The Ducks would like to thank
Wait! Sorry. Wait!
I just have one Uh
- MAN: What's goin' on?
- Oh, my God.
- Who is she?
- You've gotta be kidding me.
Hi.
- Just two minutes.
- (INDISTINCT MURMURING)
(INDISTINCT)
Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a little bit of a surprise.
There's a new team
joining the league. The, uh
- What's your name?
- Huh?
The name for your team?
The Don't Bothers.
You sure that's the name
you wanna go with?
Yeah.
But not for long. Because
we're coming for yours.
Flying V! (CHEERS)
ALEX: You got it!
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I like the orange.
(GROANING)
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
Come on, Nick.
Is that a football helmet?
COACH T: Looking forward
to a great season, everyone.
And just to remind you all,
the 12-to-14-year-old
division is full contact.
Roll video.
NARRATOR: Fore-checks, back-checks,
and hip-checks are now allowed.
And they are encouraged.
This is the real deal.
Oh, crap.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON EARPHONES)
Guys, check out your new rink.
This way.
- Hey, cool.
- SAM: Can we go out there?
- EVAN: Come on in!
- Hi.
(PLAYERS CHATTING INDISTINCTLY)
Hey, so I wanted to say thank you. Um
I think your advice really helped Evan,
and it helped me too.
We got the team together.
You got that check?
Yeah.
- You want a napkin or Okay.
- No, I'm good.
So
Who's gonna coach?
I am.
Really? I thought you hadn't
skated since you were a kid.
It's been a while, but pretty
sure I still got some moves.
I don't know.
If I'm gonna rent you the rink,
I must know you're ice-safe.
- It's a liability thing.
- (SNORTS)
Wait, are you serious?
(ALEX SIGHING)
See, I'm fine. Look. Ice-worthy.
- (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
- Oh, no, no.
I'm not doing my old routine.
No, thank you.
It's been, like, a million years.
Look, I can skate. It's fine.
Don't I don't even remember it.
Oh, I think you do.
(SINGING ALONG)
ALEX: Ow, ow, ow!
Hey, is that your mom out there?
Yes, it is.
- And she's gonna be coaching us?
- Yeah, that's right.
Okay. This is a tough one.
I meant to do that.
- She looks good.
- ALEX: I got it.
- Yeah! Yeah.
- Graceful.
Oh, boy
There you go, Mom.
Thanks.
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Oh, come on, now.
Woo-hoo!
GORDON: Hey!
ALEX: I still got it!
(ALL CHEERING)
- SAM: Okay.
- EVAN: Yeah!
- GORDON: All right.
- Yeah, Mom!
MAN: Let's go!
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
NICK: Welcome to The Wraparound,
the number two youth hockey podcast
in Southeastern Minnesota.
It's the first practice
of the new season
for the Mighty Ducks junior division.
This is real. This is
happening, you guys.
Everyone who's anyone is here.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATES)
- Hi, honey.
- EVAN: Hey, Mom.
You know I can't be
late on the first day.
Ah. I know. I'm in the car, actually.
Well, I'm on the way
to the car in the parking lot
I can't lie to you. I haven't left yet,
but I'll be right there.
- Okay. Buh-bye.
- Hey, what's up, Dan?
We need our most
brilliant paralegal, that's you,
to go through this list
and identify the tenants
in this apartment building
that are still there so we can
make them not be there.
Could we put a pin in this?
I have got to go.
- Maybe Stephanie could take
- No. Stephanie's long gone.
She had to take her twins
to hockey practice.
You know, she never misses it.
She's a great mom.
(WHISTLING)
Coach T seems to be sporting
a new mullet with great flow.
Yeah, he is!
Now, for anyone who's
new to the show or Earth,
the Ducks are a powerhouse organization
with a record ten state championships.
A little different than
the Ducks of the '90s.
They actually used to quack. (CHUCKLES)
Adorable.
Now, these Ducks,
they train like it's a job.
They study tape, they
get hip flexor injuries.
I mean, if you haven't done
all of this before you hit puberty,
you're way behind.
Okay. Hey, don't forget to stretch.
- Okay.
- Is your water bottle full?
- Yeah. I have so much water.
- Sunscreen, sunscreen.
- You know we play indoors, right?
- That's what SPF-15 is for.
Come on, let's go. We're late. Woo-hoo!
Don't hurt yourself.
EVAN: This bag is bigger than me.
ALEX: You got it, you got it.
- BRIAN: Yeah! Sofi!
- (CROWD CHEERING)
All day long! All day long.
- Hey, guys. Hey, Stephanie.
- Hey.
She made it. Where were you?
Oh, I was at the office doing that thing
you asked Dan to ask me to do.
Oh, right. Right. (CHUCKLES)
This one works so hard
and such a great attitude.
PLAYER: Missed a board!
I'm here. I'm here and I'm ready.
So, we still hang at your place after?
- We got a hot tub, so, yeah.
- Nice.
Can I borrow a bathing suit,
or is that weird?
(SCOFFS) That's super weird.
Oh. Obviously.
Alex, we didn't see you at any
of the clinics this summer.
Ugh, I know. I went online, like,
ten minutes after the stuff opened,
you know, to sign up.
And they were all full, so
But it was summer vacation, so
Our college counselor says there
is no summer vacation anymore.
(SNORTS)
- You have a college counselor already?
- Yeah.
You don't?
You are so brave.
(GRUNTING)
Sofi.
Evan Morrow in the house.
Close. But you missed the cone.
I'm not aiming for the cone.
Whoa! So you're also a golf pro now?
You take some shots.
- (SOFI GROANS)
- Hey, you all right?
I'm perfect.
Morrow. Less mingling,
more skating. Let's go.
Yes, sir.
That's Evan Morrow, he's
actually my next door neighbor.
We're not super tight or anything.
But him and his mom have often been
our non-Jewish guests at Passover.
- Oh, that's fun.
- Yeah.
(COACH T WHISTLING)
All right, listen up.
You guys are moving up
to the 12 to 14 age bracket.
It's gonna make nine-to-eleven
seem like kid stuff and
this roster's not yet set.
So?
Who wants it?
Scrimmage, now, let's go.
Come on! Let's go!
Come on! Let's go! Let's go!
Okay. Snack schedule for practices.
Let's be sure we get some
protein this year, people.
I mean, we don't want a replay
of that cheese puff incident.
It was the one time
and I was running late.
I ran into the mini-mart. Do you know
there is real cheese in those puffs?
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
(COACH T WHISTLING)
COACH T: Lean into it!
(EVAN GROANING)
Late on the ice, slow on the ice.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- PLAYER: Yeah!
COACH T: Step up, take the hit!
(RETCHING)
- Another purple change! Let's go!
- EVAN: I'm going!
PLAYER: Back in!
COACH T: Get that puck!
Eyes on the puck!
(GROANING)
COACH T: Change!
Here we go! Here we go!
Here he comes!
Are you kidding me?
Wake up! Are you kidding me?
MAN 1: There he is.
- All right, that's it. Bring it in.
- MAN 2: Nice work.
Morrow.
Hang back.
I'm sorry, Coach. I promise
I'll get faster. I just
COACH T: Maybe you will.
But it won't be on the Ducks.
I gotta cut you.
Look, guy, you work hard.
You're good, but you're
not good enough, so
But I'm a Mighty Duck. This is my team.
What's going on?
We're letting him go.
Look, buddy, it's the
12-to-14-year-old age bracket.
You're just too small
to compete at the next level.
But aren't you always saying
"you can't measure heart"?
Yeah, that's something I got off
the Internet and I'm phasing it out.
Look, I'm doing you a favor, man.
You should find something
you could be really good at.
I mean, at this age, if you
can't be great at hockey,
it's like, don't bother.
Head up.
"Don't bother"?
- "Don't bother"?
- Mom, please.
You know, I never bought
into any of this craziness.
I just did it because
my kid loves hockey,
but I guess that doesn't matter now.
(SIGHS WEARILY)
So let me lay a couple
of truths on you guys.
This scene is nuts.
The 6:00 a.m. practices,
the thousand-dollar clinics,
the God-like worship of protein.
Do you understand that
there is about zero chance
that any one of these kids is
gonna play professional hockey?
So why are you living like this?
Stephanie?
You brought two private trainers
to your kid's hockey practice.
Does that seem normal to you?
I'm not a trainer. I'm a
pediatric sports psychologist.
(SCOFFS)
Does no one see the insanity but me?
COACH T: These parents
are serious, all right?
They pay me to win.
We're not here to have fun.
Guys! Shouldn't kids be
able to play sports for fun?
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
Wow.
(EXHALES) Okay.
You know what me and Evan are gonna do
while you guys are busy training
your little hockey robots?
We're gonna go to a store and
we're gonna buy all the cheese puffs
we can friggin' find, which I lied,
contain no actual cheese,
and we're gonna go home and
sit on the couch and eat them.
These are children. This is a game.
You're telling my son, "Don't bother."
You, don't bother, sir.
You don't bother.
We are out of here.
(GRUNTING)
And that's all for tonight
on The Wraparound.
So she sits under the Minnesota moon,
wondering, "What lies ahead?"
Hey, Nick.
Hi. Just wrapping up my podcast.
- Cool.
- Any chance for a follow-up interview?
- Uh, I don't think so.
- Great. I'm headed over.
(WEAKLY) Great.
This is Nick The Stick,
coming in with an exclusive interview
with Alex Morrow after
her tragic breakdown.
I just don't wanna make
a bigger fool out of myself
than I already did.
You did not make a fool of yourself.
Did I hear the maintenance crew
on their walkie-talkies
saying what a fool you made of yourself?
- I did.
- He's so upset,
he won't come out of his room.
I feel terrible.
I just wanted to help him play.
I feel ya. I love hockey.
If it were up to me,
I'd be out there with him.
Why isn't it up to you?
Well, I was on the Peewee Participation
Trophy Circuit 'til I was six.
But at my age, if you're
not already awesome,
practicing seven days a week
and on a club team or
whatever It's just like
"Don't bother."
Hey, the Ducks don't get to
take hockey away from you.
- Can you just leave me alone, please?
- No, I'm sorry. I cannot.
I want you to think
about all the other kids
who've been told that
they're too small or too slow.
They just wanna get out there and play.
Let's start our own team.
A whole group of Don't Bothers.
Nick, come in here.
Look at this. Your first teammate!
NICK: "Teammate"?
I don't know what to say. Yes.
You can't just start a team.
There's gotta be rules.
It says in order to be a team,
you just have to have six players,
a home rink, and a coach
over the age of 21.
We can totally do that.
But you have to be registered
by Team Day this Friday,
so we only have three days.
We can maybe do that.
Wouldn't even be any good.
- No offense.
- No, I agree.
I would not be an asset physically.
I have more of a podcast body.
Okay, so it wouldn't be
a powerhouse team
like the Ducks, but
that's not the point.
And anyway, who cares?
Those guys don't deserve you.
I'll find a coach. I'll find a rink.
You guys find four more players
and let's just get out
there and have fun.
All right, let's give it a shot.
Yes Psych.
Okay, this is exciting.
I do not own ice skates!
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
We just need four players. Who we got?
We got tons of kids
who I don't know at all.
- BOY: Comin' through! Oh, yeah!
- (CRASHES)
(GASPS)
'Sup?
So, Sam, I noticed you enjoy
flinging your body into large objects.
Somebody dares you to do something,
you gotta do it. Right?
Have you ever thought of playing hockey?
Nah, too many rules. Not a rules guy.
Sofi.
Hey, Evan. Look, I'm
so sorry you got cut.
Oh, what? That? It ain't no thang.
You know, actually, I'm
starting a new hockey team.
Love you to be a part of it.
You're asking me to quit the Ducks?
Well, I know your parents
are always on your case.
Something's going on with your knee
'cause you're pushing so hard.
You're not happy there.
You think I'm gonna be happier
on a team that's worse?
You think that's gonna get
my parents to let up on me?
I'm sorry. I gotta go.
Hello, ladies.
I love that crop top.
Is that Brandy Melville?
(GIGGLING)
I know you're all popular
and winners in the game of life,
but would any of you
want to join a ragtag,
yet very hip hockey team?
Yeah. Think we're gonna be good.
- (SIGHS)
- Don't let 'em get to you.
They make fun of me 'cause
I dress like a warrior princess
and go to Magic: The
Gathering conventions.
But it doesn't bother me.
Freaks.
(LAUGHING)
- Could you guys move over?
- "You don't bother, sir."
Very funny. Very funny.
ALEX: Telling my son, "Don't bother."
You don't bother.
- "You don't bother, sir."
- You don't bother.
"You don't bother, sir."
"You don't bother, sir." (LAUGHS)
ALL: "You don't bother, sir."
"You don't bother, sir."
- Hey. How'd it go with Sofi?
- Hey.
Hard pass. And apparently, I can't
sit at the Ducks' table anymore.
My sports career is dead
and now my social life is, too.
Look, five Tater Tots.
Not even a full order.
Well, there's plenty of room here.
I'll just
I don't know how we're
gonna find any new players.
Oh! I have an idea.
What if I AirDrop everyone
in here about the new team?
"New team."
"Big first practice tomorrow."
And send.
(PHONES CHIMING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
And the seed has been planted.
Yes, I called about,
uh, time on the ice.
After school?
"Is it a beer league?"
How dare you, sir? They're 12.
(CHUCKLES)
Uh, no, it's just normal people
Kids Twelves
No time. Okay, bye.
(DIALING)
Okay. Ah! You're burning, you're burning.
Not you. I'm looking
for time on the ice
COMMENTATOR: Injuries
have plagued the squad
EVAN: (GRUNTS) Pass it.
Just pass it. Hit the shot.
(NICK GROANING)
I can't get past this goalie. Who is he?
- COMMENTATOR: Another huge stop!
- I don't know. Let's see.
Username, Koob13.
Jaden Koobler, our age.
He's played this game for 10,000 hours.
Where are his parents?
He's never been scored on.
- Do you think
- Looking him up.
- (OWL HOOTING)
- We're almost there.
Is it me, or does it feel like we're
about to enter the house from It?
Go ahead.
(DOOR CREAKING)
EVAN: Thank you, Mrs. Koobler.
MRS. KOOBLER: You're welcome!
COMMENTATOR: Boston is
down a man after the hook
Koob13?
Evan and Nick, we were playing
against you all afternoon?
And I think you're in my Spanish class.
Hola, amigo.
Here's the thing. We're
starting a new hockey team.
And you're such an amazing
video game goalie.
You're a wall.
We were wondering if you
want to join us, be our wall.
You mean go upstairs?
(HESITATING)
Yeah. It would be upstairs, yeah,
in an actual rink with
ice and real people.
Real people let you down.
Believe me, I know
that can be true. But
And why would you think
I could even play for real?
I mean, look at me.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
Too far.
That's called reflexes, Koob.
You see things, dude,
before and better than anyone.
And that is what makes you special.
Yeah,
but then I'd have to wear pants.
(JOYSTICK CLICKING)
How can you have no ice time?
You're the last place on my list.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
Hello?
It is so great you're trying
to form a new team for Evan.
You're so scrappy.
(GIGGLES SARCASTICALLY) Thank you.
So, update on the old
apartment building.
They're offering the rent control
tenants a cash buyout.
It's not huge, but they're throwing in
a three-month free membership
to the building's new gym.
So, I need you to go down there,
hand out these brochures
and just sell it to them.
Uh, what happens to the people
after the three-month
gym membership's over?
I don't know, but they're
gonna be in fantastic shape.
Right. But isn't that kind of, um
(CLICKS TONGUE) what's
the word I'm looking for?
Evil?
See, this is what I love about you.
You always want to
fight for the little guy.
You're so good.
And also, you get a free three-month
gym membership at the new building.
TENANT: But I won't be livin' there.
That's correct. However
You know what? I wouldn't
take this deal either.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
(SIGHS WEARILY)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(EXHALES)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
Oh, hello. Excuse me.
I'm looking for the manager.
Are you the manager?
MAN: Yeah. Hold on.
I'm adjusting the hydraulics.
Very delicate process.
(ENGINE HISSES)
You lost?
If you're looking to rent
skates, that's up front.
Oh, no. I am not here to rent skates.
I have not skated since my
triumphant turn in eighth grade.
Oh, and I, uh, did a routine
to Whitney Houston's
The Greatest Love of All.
So you're here to tell me about
your Whitney Houston skating routine?
- You do realize we've never met.
- I'm so sorry.
My name is Alex. Hello.
Okay, we've met. That
was fun. Take care, now.
(STAMMERS) Wait. Hold on. Wait.
I need ice.
My son just got fired from his
hockey team by a very mean coach.
Let me guess. The Ducks?
Yeah, the Mighty Ducks.
Do you know them?
A little bit. Yeah. How old?
I think they were 7-year-olds?
No, the cake. How old?
I wanna say three hours?
Anyway, I'm helping him put together
a new team and we need a home rink.
I'm guessing you didn't see
the sign. Kinda says it all.
I hate hockey.
You hate hockey? You run an ice rink.
Weird, huh? I'm sorry, I'm being
rude. Would you like some?
No, no.
Sure? These kids' birthday parties
always order way too much cake.
- I'll give you the flower.
- I'm fine. Thank you.
Please. Isn't there something I can say
to convince you to let us play?
Look, you don't wanna be here. Trust me.
I can barely afford
to keep the ice frozen.
Not sure I'm gonna
make it through the winter.
Great. I can solve all your problems.
I have money.
I found a city surplus for youth
hockey that was unclaimed.
How much we talking about?
I think we might be able to find
some wiggle room
on the "no-hockey" thing.
- Really? Really?
- Yeah.
- I got it?
- Yeah.
- Yes!
- Congratulations.
It's an exciting time to be alive.
I'll get the paperwork.
Oh, thank you.
We're in the middle of
updating our system, so
Forget it. We'll find it later.
Hey, were you some sort of
professional hockey player?
I was "some sort of
professional hockey player."
Wow!
- That's pretty amazing.
- Not really.
I got started too late or I was
never really good enough.
Either way, it's over,
and hopefully, what we're doing
now will be over soon, too.
I hear you. I am exiting. Leaving.
I do have one more question.
I have 24 hours to find a coach,
and I'm just saying
No. I am not the coach type.
Here's the long and short of it.
I hate hockey and I don't like kids.
They don't make a sign for that.
Believe me, I've looked.
So here's the deal.
I'm gonna give you the ice.
You're gonna give me the money.
If you need anything else,
talk to the cocoa girl.
Her name's Winnie.
- And what's your name?
- I'm Gordon Bombay.
Welcome to the Ice Palace.
(PHONE CHIMES)
- EVAN: My mom found us a rink.
- (NICK GRUNTING)
She says it's called the Ice Palace.
It's all coming together.
How is it coming together?
Our entire team is still
just me and you, bud.
I get that, but I'm rapidly improving.
- (THUDS)
- (CAR SIRENS BLARING)
(VEHICLE HONKING)
(CAR SCREECHING)
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Uh, yeah, we just moved here from Toronto.
Cool. Cool.
So, Logan, it looks
like you play hockey.
Yeah, I've been known to
slap the biscuit around a bit.
I don't know much about the
hockey scene around here.
- Do you guys play?
- Yeah.
Yeah, we do. Um
Some pretty nice skates you got.
They get me from point A to point B.
(WHISPERING) Dude, those
are Bauer Vapor Pros.
They're like 900 bucks.
This kid has to be amazing!
(CLEARS THROAT) So, Logan,
we were thinking, um,
maybe you want to join our hockey team?
We have our first hockey practice
tonight. You should come by.
- I'll see you on the ice.
- Okay.
You know, I did a little
reading on this rink.
Legend has it, a kid
once fell through the ice,
and he's still there.
So basically, we're
skating on frozen boy.
But it's nice.
I thought we would find more
players. Team Day's tomorrow.
Yeah, we did get Logan, though.
- Where is that guy?
- (EVAN GRUNTING)
- NICK: You good? Did that hurt?
- ALEX: You're okay.
- EVAN: I'm okay.
- Thumbs up.
Why am I yelling?
Sorry. I get a little crazy.
It's just the two of us at home.
- Are you a single mom?
- Mmm-hmm.
- My mom was a single mom of me.
- Ha.
Yeah, so single.
That kid does not have a dad.
I mean, technically,
obviously he has a dad,
- but he's never in the picture
- (WHIRRING)
(INAUDIBLE)
then I had to drop out of
law school to take care of us.
I don't know why I'm
telling you this whole story.
It's okay. People tend to open up
to me at the hot chocolate bar.
Really?
- Whipped cream?
- Got to.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Finally.
He's magnificent.
(GRUNTING)
Is he doing a trick?
I probably should have
mentioned. I actually suck.
Okay. Okay, that's it. I'm done.
Come on, hey.
EVAN: I'm so sick of this!
Why do I bother? "You don't bother."
- I'll give you a hand.
- EVAN: Why do I friggin' bother?
This kid comes in here with $900 skates.
- Doesn't even know how to skate.
- Hey, what's going on?
I told you this whole thing
was a bad idea, Mom.
We have to show up tomorrow
at 4:00 p.m. with a team.
It's over. I'm done.
It's not over. It's not done.
You still have time.
You'll find some more teammates
at school tomorrow.
I'm a joke at school, Mom.
Ever since I was cut,
no one wants to be my friend.
No one wants to sit with me at lunch.
(SCOFFS) Yeah, a video
of your speech went viral.
They make fun of me for it every day.
Ugh. I'm gonna go to
that school and talk
No, no, please. Not that. You've
already embarrassed me enough.
GORDON: Kid's right.
- What?
- Couple of things.
First, I've seen your meltdown video.
It's epic. I mean, great stuff. Really.
Second, do not go to that school.
Kids have to fight their own battles.
Last thing he needs is for you to
go in and rescue him all the time.
My mom never did that for me.
Great. I mean, look
at you now. (CHUCKLES)
How's that leftover Wreck-It Ralph cake?
Hmm.
Hard around the edges,
soft in the middle.
- Kind of like Ralph himself.
- ALEX: Hmm.
Wait.
You're Gordon Bombay.
Minnesota Miracle Man.
Mom, he used to coach
the old Mighty Ducks.
He invented the Flying V.
He's a living legend.
Uh, sorry. I thought you said
you weren't the coaching type.
You used to coach the Ducks?
Yep. I coached the Ducks.
It was a lifetime ago.
Totally different now.
Parents trying to engineer
their kids' entire lives.
Yes, I'm trying to pull him
away from those freaks.
You're just as bad as they are.
- How so?
- You do everything for this kid.
You tell off the old team.
You set up the new one.
You make him wear sunscreen indoors.
Don't deny it. I saw you do it.
Now you want to fight
his bullies for him?
I'll bet you even still
slice his grapes in half.
Do you slice his grapes?
I don't have to submit to some
lame parenting test from you.
- Does she slice your grapes?
- You don't have to answer.
- She does.
- You could choke.
Bottom line, is you gotta back off
or this boy is never gonna
become his own man.
What's your name?
- Evan, sir.
- You gotta lay off your mom, Evan.
I mean, she's doing it all wrong,
but she's hustling to make this
happen because she loves you.
But at this point, if you
really wanna play hockey,
which is a big dead end, if you ask me,
then you gotta make
this happen for yourself.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
Excuse me.
Excuse me, everyone. Hello.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION CONTINUES)
- Give me your tray.
- Okay.
(CONVERSATION HALTS)
My pudding.
Hello, everyone. My name is Evan.
A few of you may know me
from the viral video of my mom.
- (ALL LAUGHING)
- Yeah!
Yeah. I'll admit it is a good watch.
But the thing is, everything
she said in that video was true.
I used to be a Mighty Duck.
It was awesome being
part of the cool kids,
sitting at the cool table.
But I always felt like I was hanging on,
trying to prove I could
be a part of that,
but not anymore.
Because what I've realized
is the Ducks aren't the
center of the universe.
Sure, they may be stronger.
They may be more athletic.
They may even smell better.
But the second I was cut from the team,
they cut me from their lives.
- But in a weird way, I'm happy I was cut.
- What's he doing?
Because now I'm starting a new team.
Just me, Nick and Logan.
And all we need is a few more players.
Yeah, it's gonna be different.
We may not win a lot,
but we are gonna have
each other's backs.
We will play with heart.
So is there anyone who wants in?
Is there anyone who understands
a little bit of what I'm trying to say?
I'm in.
I've never played hockey,
but I think I might have an inner rage
that really needs an outlet.
Thank you, Lauren Gibby.
I also own nunchucks.
Do not bring those to practice.
I get it.
I always feel like I'm hanging
on. It's exhausting.
Constantly being nervous and
trying to fit in with this group.
So I want to join you. I mean,
can I? Is that okay, or
Very okay. Bye-bye.
Hey, Sam.
I dare you to join our hockey team.
Somebody dares you to do
something, you gotta do it, right?
I'm there.
EVAN: All right. We just
need one more player.
And I'm
Just gonna throw this Gatorade
bottle away. So not with ya.
(MIGHTY DUCKS PLAYERS SNICKER)
That's not cool.
What you said has moved me.
I will be your wall.
Thank you, Koob13!
Guys, guys, I think we did it.
Men don't cut their grapes.
(CHOKING)
I get it.
That's why I stick to raisins.
- (CHEERING)
- (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Hello, and welcome to the Southeastern
Minnesota Club Division Team Day!
As reigning state champions,
the Ducks are honored
to host this event again.
Now it's time for the
ceremonial team skate.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it
up for the Bloomington Bears.
(CROWD CHEERING)
Next up, we have the Edina Hawks.
And now we have the
Coon Rapids Cardinals!
Ev! Hey!
- I can't believe you put a team together!
- I know, right!
But wait. Who's gonna be your coach?
It's you. It has to be you.
Me? I have never even played hockey.
You can do anything, Mom.
- Come here.
- (BOTH GIGGLING)
And last but not least,
the defending state champions,
the Mighty Ducks!
(CROWD CHEERING)
That's all our teams.
The Ducks would like to thank
Wait! Sorry. Wait!
I just have one Uh
- MAN: What's goin' on?
- Oh, my God.
- Who is she?
- You've gotta be kidding me.
Hi.
- Just two minutes.
- (INDISTINCT MURMURING)
(INDISTINCT)
Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a little bit of a surprise.
There's a new team
joining the league. The, uh
- What's your name?
- Huh?
The name for your team?
The Don't Bothers.
You sure that's the name
you wanna go with?
Yeah.
But not for long. Because
we're coming for yours.
Flying V! (CHEERS)
ALEX: You got it!
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I like the orange.
(GROANING)
(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS)
Come on, Nick.
Is that a football helmet?
COACH T: Looking forward
to a great season, everyone.
And just to remind you all,
the 12-to-14-year-old
division is full contact.
Roll video.
NARRATOR: Fore-checks, back-checks,
and hip-checks are now allowed.
And they are encouraged.
This is the real deal.
Oh, crap.
(MUSIC PLAYING ON EARPHONES)
Guys, check out your new rink.
This way.
- Hey, cool.
- SAM: Can we go out there?
- EVAN: Come on in!
- Hi.
(PLAYERS CHATTING INDISTINCTLY)
Hey, so I wanted to say thank you. Um
I think your advice really helped Evan,
and it helped me too.
We got the team together.
You got that check?
Yeah.
- You want a napkin or Okay.
- No, I'm good.
So
Who's gonna coach?
I am.
Really? I thought you hadn't
skated since you were a kid.
It's been a while, but pretty
sure I still got some moves.
I don't know.
If I'm gonna rent you the rink,
I must know you're ice-safe.
- It's a liability thing.
- (SNORTS)
Wait, are you serious?
(ALEX SIGHING)
See, I'm fine. Look. Ice-worthy.
- (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)
- Oh, no, no.
I'm not doing my old routine.
No, thank you.
It's been, like, a million years.
Look, I can skate. It's fine.
Don't I don't even remember it.
Oh, I think you do.
(SINGING ALONG)
ALEX: Ow, ow, ow!
Hey, is that your mom out there?
Yes, it is.
- And she's gonna be coaching us?
- Yeah, that's right.
Okay. This is a tough one.
I meant to do that.
- She looks good.
- ALEX: I got it.
- Yeah! Yeah.
- Graceful.
Oh, boy
There you go, Mom.
Thanks.
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Oh, come on, now.
Woo-hoo!
GORDON: Hey!
ALEX: I still got it!
(ALL CHEERING)
- SAM: Okay.
- EVAN: Yeah!
- GORDON: All right.
- Yeah, Mom!