The New Scooby-Doo Movies (1972) s01e01 Episode Script

Today Scooby-Doo
meets the Three Stooges.
Boy, are we ever lost.
I think we took the wrong turn
about 1 0 miles back.
-Look, I just saw a mirage.
-At night?
Yeah, an alligator. See that?
Alligator?
A camel.
And a neurotic orangutan.
You were expecting
maybe King Kong?
-This is really weird.
-Yeah, it doesn't make sense.
Monster?
Nothing to be afraid of Scooby.
I've been to these tourist traps before.
-You have?
-Sure.
The monster always turns out to be
an eensy-teensy, 6-inch, harmless lizard.
-You sure?
-I'm positive.
-A giant bat!
-Look out, it's coming at us.
Some 6-inch, harmless lizard.
-Is everyone all right?
-Yeah.
But you ought to see that sand dune.
Can't get any traction.
We better get out of here
before that king-size bat comes back.
Maybe we can push it out.
No way, we're in too deep.
There should be some help
down the road.
Monster ahead.
Stop being so silly, Scooby.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
Maybe there is something
to be afraid of.
Gator! Gator!
-You mean ''alligator''?
-Like I said, it's a mirage.
Look, look!
Ghosts!
Boy, are they clumsy.
-Grab him!
-I'll get him.
Hold him.
-Hi, guys.
-That's all we need now. . .
-. . .three clumsy ghosts.
-Yeah, clumsy ghosts.
Come back here, Ingagi.
Watch out, dummies.
Oh, my gosh.
I think it's the Three Stooges.
-Got the collar?
-Got the collar.
Looks more like the Four Stooges.
Now we round up
the camel and the alligator.
Hey, aren't you Larry,
Moe and Curly Joe?
Stars of stage, screen,
television and comic books.
Ingagi here is a superstar.
Played 1 6 smash weeks
at the London Royal Zoo.
Command performance.
Look, we need help.
-A psychiatrist could tell you that.
-Our van is stuck in the sand.
We'll get you out, as soon as we get
the animals back in the ghost town.
Come on along.
Animals? Ghost town?
It's definitely not a mirage.
''Three Stooges Ghost Town. ''
-An amusement park.
-Mine ride.
-Should be fun.
-That's Danny the dromedary.
Iggy the iguana. General Gertrude.
Wouldn't harm a piranha.
And Ingagi. Him, you met formally.
Kids just love those animals.
But one thing,
how do they get loose every night?
You mean they open those big locks
by themselves?
-I smell a bat.
-Then you've seen it.
-It goes by twice every night.
-It drives us crazy!
We bought this place
two months ago.
We were doing fine until
all these things started to happen.
-Like escaping animals and giant bats?
-And that loudmouthed dinosaur?
-That's Tyrone.
-Short for a Tyrone-osaurus rex.
-You mean '' Tyrannosaurus. ''
-Who, Tyrone?
Tyrone is just a plastic model.
He was part of the kids' playground. . .
. . .until all the weirdies around here
began to happen.
The sheriff made us close it up.
He said the place was too dangerous.
And look for Scooby-Doo too.
If we don't solve the mystery,
we'll be out of business.
-That bat I smelled has got to be a rat.
-And it's time we went on a bat hunt.
-Who's he, Moe?
-That's Rhino. He works for us.
He's okay. He's our caretaker.
Yeah. He caretakes the animals.
He's been acting
kind of suspicious lately.
Then why don't you fire him?
-Well, we're. . . .
-What you mean is, you want to--
But you're afraid to.
Me, afraid? I'm not afraid of anything.
Go ahead, Curly Joe, you fire him.
-Me?
-You heard me.
Fire Rhino.
Go ahead, dummy.
Now listen carefully to me, Rhino.
Tell him, tell him.
You realize you've just
dared to grunt. . .
. . .at one of the toughest men
in the state of Texas? Tell him, Tex.
Okay, buddy-boy,
that's all I take from you.
I wonder if you'd mind giving
Gertrude her baby food. Please.
See, Tyrone here
is strictly mechanical, but scary.
-It's hollow.
-We searched his hide for a week. . .
-. . .and couldn't find an opening.
-Moe's right.
There isn't a single break
in the plaster.
I think the Stooges are right.
Like, maybe we all better go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everybody, raise your hands.
You're trespassing on my property.
Trespassers, huh?
All right, you guys, get moving.
Help!
Hey, Scooby,
what are you doing up there?
-I don't know.
-How'd you get in?
How about that?
A dinosaur that can wag its tail.
Let's go inside.
This is a dinosaur?
Pulleys to work the legs, fuse box.
Okay, up the stairs
and into the jaws of the monster.
Holy ''smoly. ''
Tyrone's got an electric brain.
Amazing.
Tyrone's roar is a tape recording.
You kids have discovered
Tyrone's secret.
Say, who are you anyway?
I'm Amos Crunch,
the Stooges' manager.
I operated the park
before they closed us down.
Let's get out of here before this
prehistoric goon starts to howl again.
You okay, Scooby?
Scooby-Doo!
These kids did it. They found
the tape recorder inside the dinosaur.
And Mr. Crunch destroyed the tape.
Tyrone made his last roar.
Great. Maybe we'll have
some peace around here.
Okay, pal, time to get your exercise.
And remember, no fancy acrobatics.
Hey, Curly, we solved
the dinosaur mystery.
-Don't excite Dingbat!
-Dingbat? What a ding-y name.
Okay. Maybe now
we can all get back to work.
Yeah, sure. That's a good idea.
Hey, come back here, Dingbat.
Hold it!
-Look out!
-Duck!
Get a net.
Here, Ding-y.
Here, boy.
That's why we call it Dingbat.
He does that every time
Crunch goes near him.
Yeah.
Dingbat is as ding-y as you are.
-As we are? Us?
-Ridiculous.
Somebody's ding-y around here,
and I don't think it's the dingbat.
We sure thank you kids for helping us.
Not quite. What about that king-size bat
we met out in the sand dunes?
I was afraid someone
would bring that up.
Me too.
A chocolate pizza would help
right now. Let's go get one.
-Good idea.
-Hold it.
We've got a bigger problem.
Velma's disappeared.
-I'm gonna disappear too.
-Me too.
Come back here. We've gotta
find that girl, you scaredy-cats.
All right, cut that out.
Come on, spread out. Let's find her.
That's a neat disappearing act.
And here's another disappearing act.
-We'll look down this street.
-Dingbat and I will look under the bed.
-You two dingbats are coming with me.
-We'll look down the other street.
Scooby and I'll search
the merry-go-round.
We already checked that.
There's nothing suspicious there.
I know. That's why we picked it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Shaggy.
-Oh, okay.
-Velma.
-Yoo-hoo.
Are you there, Velma?
Velma? Velma? Velma?
Definitely not Velma.
Velma.
Not a trace of her.
Where could she have gone?
Look. Look.
''The Last Chance Saloon. ''
Sounds kind of creepy, doesn't it?
I'll tell you what, we'll flip a coin.
Tails we go in, heads we don't.
Of course, the fact that it's a
two-headed quarter is beside the point.
-Here goes.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Up and in the air it goes. . .
. . .and where it lands, no one knows.
Hey.
My quarter. Come back!
Will you look at this place?
It's a real ghost town saloon.
-Ghost?
-Relax, it's just a figure of speech.
What are you so upset about?
It was my quarter.
-Velma.
-Yoo-hoo, Velma.
Come out, come out,
wherever you are.
Olly, olly, oxen free.
-Not a sign of her anywhere.
-Hey, look.
''Cowboy Museum. ''
Why don't we go in there.
That's a good idea.
I'm glad I thought of it.
You thought of it?
I'm glad to hear you admit it.
Now, quit fooling around.
We gotta find Velma.
Hey, kemosabe.
Did you happen to see a girl
about 2 inches high with glasses?
Nope.
Just who are you talking to?
This nice Indian.
Why, you knucklehead,
he's made of wood.
-But-- But--
-Cut the buts and come inside.
Darn it.
Yoo-hoo, Velma, are you here?
-She's not with Wild Bill Hickock.
-Or with Jesse James.
Or even with Billy the Kid.
It's no use, guys.
There's nothing alive here.
-Wanna bet?
-His arms, they're moving.
I've got news for you. So am I.
-Me too, to Passaic, New Jersey.
-Oh, no, you don't.
We're not leaving here
till I give the word.
And the word is ''scram. ''
Velma. Velma, where are you?
Yoo-hoo, Velma.
Not a sign of her.
It's as though the desert
just swallowed her up.
Oh, don't say that, not with all the wild
creatures we've seen around here.
Wow, this desert sun
sure makes a guy thirsty.
I've got news for you.
It makes a gal thirsty too.
Oh, sure. Here.
Thanks a lot.
Oh, brother. And I thought Danny
the dromedary could store water.
Exactly what do you mean by that?
-You finished every drop!
-Me? You're the one who finished it.
I could've sworn there was
a cactus here a minute ago.
That's odd, so could I.
Daphne, there's something
funny going on here.
So why aren't we laughing?
Wake up, Scooby. Snap out of it.
This should revive him.
Pure dust.
Gesundheit.
A secret shaft,
and Scooby's fallen into it.
It's so dark down there.
I'll need a light.
Oh, thanks.
Scooby, move over.
Hey, Scoob, it's only me.
What's the matter? Haven't you
ever seen a flour child before?
How do we get out of this place?
Hey, a staircase.
Let's see where it leads.
Hey, the staircase is moving.
But we're not.
-Faster, Scoob!
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cool it, Scoob,
it's only a giant jack-in-the-box.
Really?
We're inside the fun house. Look.
They've got a bunch
of those kooky mirrors.
Hey, look. I look like
a basketball star.
And you look like a Chihuahua.
Holy frijoles, it's Ingagi.
Then you're the one that was
pulling all those tricks on us.
Okay, Scoob, it's safe
to come out now.
Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle.
-This desert reminds me of a woman.
-Why is that?
It goes on and on and on.
-Men.
-Come on, Daph.
Where's your sense of humor?
It shriveled up in this heat. Besides,
I'm worried about getting lost out here.
All this desert looks alike.
No problem. We'll just follow
our footprints back to town.
That's a groovy idea,
except for one thing.
-What's that?
-There are no footprints.
-They're gone!
-You certainly are alert.
-What could've happened to them?
-Stolen by some footpad, no doubt.
Very funny.
Now who's lost their sense of humor?
Daphne, look, a swimming pool!
-Last one in is a rotten egg!
-Wait, Freddy. Don't!
-What happened?
-It was only a mirage.
It's this desert heat.
Now I'm beginning to see things.
There's something I wish I didn't see.
-A vulture.
-Well, it's not the bluebird of happiness.
-We've gotta find some shade, and soon.
-But where? There's not a tree in sight.
Hey, where'd that cactus come from?
Who cares? I never look
a gift shade in the mouth.
This feels good.
I'll say.
-Hey.
-What's happening?
There's something strange
going on here.
I have the feeling that the eyes
of Texas are upon us.
-You mean the eyes of cactus.
-There's someone inside it.
But who?
That's what I aim to find out.
Come back and fight like a man,
you vegetable!
Oh, dear.
The cactus, it's deflating.
-Now to find out who's inside it.
-I'm on pins and needles.
Oh, no.
Whoever it was is gone.
Well, it looks like we're left
holding the bag.
Gee, I must have fallen
into the old mine.
Sure, there are the cars
they use for the mine ride.
You watch behind us, I'll look ahead.
What's that?
Sounds like an Indian war cry.
Feels more like an earthquake.
Never seen him around before.
And I never wanna
see him around again.
Or even after that.
Quick, the mine ride.
-Hey, we lost him.
-Lost him?
We don't even know
where we're going.
Will you both be quiet
and let me steer this thing?
I wish you knew how.
-Maybe the Three Stooges are in trouble.
-Yeah, we better go help them.
Where are those two creeps,
Crunch and Rhino? They could help too.
-Yeah.
-There they are. . .
. . .playing cards while we
look for Velma.
Some help they are.
Speaking of help, I think we need it.
Look, look, look!
Draw.
Draw? You hear that?
You bring the crayons, Scoob.
-Where'd they go?
-Hey, dude. . .
. . .I'm telling you, get out of town.
This is your first and last warning.
Oh, yeah?
Yeah.
Scoob, have you flipped your fur wig?
-Where are we?
-I don't know.
Well, you're on my back for one thing.
-Velma!
-Velma!
What took you so long?
Draw.
In the middle of a desert
he finds a full rain barrel.
Draw.
Scooby!
Roll the other way.
Draw.
Scooby-Doo!
This is your last warning.
Warning. Warning.
-The fastest short circuit in the West.
-Warning. Get out of town.
Draw.
There's just no way out.
Sounds like company's coming,
and coming fast.
-Put on the brakes, you ninny-head.
-You heard him.
Yes, sir.
Watch out!
Guess that was the end of the track.
Hey, it's the kids.
-How did you get in here?
-A trap door, that's how.
-Then how do we get out?
-We don't. We're trapped.
Don't be silly.
Only animals get trapped.
Yeah, we're imprisoned.
Quit clowning, dummies.
Daphne's right.
We gotta figure a way
to get out of this imprison.
Hey, I forgot Dingbat.
This mine dust is sure funny.
It glows in the dark.
Hey, what's with Dingbat?
He's ding-y, that's what.
Here, Ding-y.
Come to Papa.
Did I do that?
We'll be here forever.
There's no such thing as forever.
-There isn't?
-Nope, just eternity.
Thanks a lot. You've made my day.
And through hard work and
perseverance, we'll get out of here.
Grab those tools and start digging.
I didn't know anybody
could be so daffy.
Then you don't know
the Three Stooges.
Scooby? Scooby-Doo, where are you?
Down here.
-Relax, old buddy.
-Relax?
I'll get you out.
Wrong way.
Sorry, Scoob.
Amazing.
Scooby-Doo!
-Hold it.
-What is it, Moe?
-Yeah, what's wrong?
-I've just been thinking--
Hey, Moe's been thinking.
Call them and have
a national monument.
Very funny. I've been thinking
we're getting nowheres fast.
-Hey, maybe we can use that air vent.
-That's too small for us.
She doesn't mean for us
to crawl through it.
That vent leads up
to the ground above. . .
. . .and if we yell through it,
someone might hear us.
Hey, there's a bright mind.
-Pull. Pull.
-I am pulling.
-Boy, I could use some nourishment.
-Yeah, yeah.
Not rare, medium done.
-Like a triple hamburger.
-Yeah.
-With pistachio ketchup.
-Yeah.
And a double pizza for dessert.
Oh, well, we can dream, can't we?
Yeah, we can dream.
Oh, Shag, can you hear me?
I must be dreaming.
That sounds like Fred.
Shag? Scooby-Doo?
Can you hear me?
That's Daphne's voice. Come on.
-Yoo-hoo.
-Anybody up there?
Hello? Hello?
I guess there's nobody home.
Shaggy!
I hear you, I hear you,
but where are you?
Scooby! Scooby-Doo! Are you there?
Yeah, I'm here.
-I'm here too.
-It's Shag and Scooby. They heard us.
Shag, we're all down here!
Down where?
Below the livery stable.
We had a cave-in.
Can you get us out?
Almost immediately. Don't move.
Don't move?
Where does he think we're going?
-Come on, Scoob, we've gotta help.
-Yeah, help.
Hey, in there, Mr. Crunch, Mr. Rhino.
They don't seem to hear us. Strange.
Mr. Rhino, Mr. Crunch, we need
your help. You see, our buddies are--
Hey, those guys are dummies.
-Yeah, dummies.
-Boy, there's no help there.
Scooby, old buddy, you've just gotta
think of some way to rescue Velma. . .
. . .and the Three Stooges.
Now, I'll be perfectly quiet.
I know you need quiet to concentrate.
I know people who never know. . .
. . .when to keep quiet when others
are trying to concentrate.
-They never know when to--
-Shut up!
Something's in the room
bothering you, huh?
Of course, how thoughtless of me.
I'll stop this racket in a minute.
Stop! Help!
Mind if a third dummy joins you?
Now, think, Scooby,
there's got to be some way. . .
. . .to rescue Velma
and the Three Stooges.
Here, put on your old
thinking cap and start thinking.
Just look at him.
For 1 0 solid minutes,
he's been that way, motionless. . .
. . .concentrating all of his energies. . .
. . .toward just one purpose.
Sleep? Sleep?
Scooby-Doo!
This is no time for catnaps,
or even ''dognaps. ''
We've gotta dig out Velma
and the Three Stooges, you dig?
I dig.
Attaboy, keep digging.
I guess I misjudged him.
Just look at him go,
selfless, tireless, dedicated.
Truly one of nature's
noblest creatures.
-Got it.
-You found an air hole.
Nope, a bone.
Cut that out. You're supposed to be
thinking of a way to rescue Velma.
-Scooby-Doo!
-You've got an idea?
Quick, quick, what is it?
That's it. We'll use Tyrone
the Tyrannosaurus.
What an idea, Scoob.
Oh, I'm glad I thought of it.
-Scoob, you are one bright one.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-How do you work this thing anyhow?
-Try that one.
This one?
No. That red one.
How about the green one?
The blue one.
The red one.
Pull the lever.
By George, I think I've got it.
Scooby-Doo!
It's Shag and Scoob. They're digging.
With a steam shovel?
Easy, Tyrone. Take it easy.
How about that? Rescued by Tyrone.
''Tyran,'' you bubblehead.
Yeah, rescued by Tyran
the Tyrone-osaurus .
-Look.
-It's the gang.
-Hold it. Hold it.
-It's us.
Yeah, we're okay.
-Those darn kids.
-Quick, load up, and let's get out of here.
Gee, thanks, Shag. If it weren't for you,
I don't know what we would've done.
It was nothing. Nothing.
Scooby deserves all the credit.
Shucks.
Zoinks, look!
It's that giant bat we saw.
We'll head them off at the pass.
Look out!
Sure fooled him.
-Hey, what's that?
-It's a projector.
-Maybe they have a double feature.
-Larry, hit the ''on'' button.
-Look, it's that Indian again.
-Yeah, with no sound.
And this time,
the earth isn't shaking.
This is all it was, kids, a home movie
projected on the black desert night.
Attaboy, Scoob.
Nice going, Geronimo. We lost them.
Scooby-Doo!
I'm sure we lost them.
-We'll take a shortcut.
-Nice going.
-Guess we can relax now.
-No sweat.
Here they come, Scooby. Let's go.
Ready, aim, fire!
That stopped them.
Well, now we know someone
was running that secret projector.
Yeah, but who?
That's what I wanna know.
Yeah, who, who, who?
Quiet. What are you, an owl?
Looks like Shag had the right answer.
It's the gunslinger and the Indian.
It's Crunch and Rhino.
-Those darn kids.
-Yeah, they spoiled everything.
With Crunch for our manager,
who needs enemies?
Crunch discovered there was uranium in
the abandoned mine under Ghost Town. . .
. . .and was trying to scare
everyone away.
It's against the law to sell uranium
to anyone but the government. . .
. . .and he couldn't do that
without spilling his secret.
So he used the bat truck
to sneak the uranium across the border. . .
. . .where he sold it
for a whopping profit.
Yeah, but what about Tyrone's roar
and the shaking ground?
The roar, the Indian's war cry
and that loudmouthed gunslinger. . .
. . .were all recordings timed to cover
the sound when they dynamited. . .
. . .to get the uranium out.
Crazy bat. All of a sudden,
she's calm as a mouse again.
Dingbat only went crazy
when Crunch came near her.
The uranium dust on
Crunch's clothes fouled her radar.
Yeah. The same thing happened
when we were in the mine.
Your worries are over, Ding-y, old girl.
No more fouled-up radar.
Our congratulations, Scooby.
I hear you and your partner captured
the uranium smugglers single-pawed.
It was nothing.
Sheriff, would it be okay if I took home
this little bag of uranium as a souvenir?
-Why, sure, son.
-Hey, kids, look. . .
. . .a super hero sandwich
for Scooby and Shag.
Oh, boy.
Thanks. Here, hold this uranium.
Delighted.
Boy, that was close.
Poor Shaggy. His bag of uranium
fouled up Dingbat's radar.
Yeah, but not my stomach.
Me too.