The Proud Family (2001) s01e01 Episode Script

All right, ladies.
And Michael.
The Willie T. Ribbs
racer cheerleaders
are about perfection,
hard work, sweat, tears
And pain.
If you can't take
a five-story fall
And bounce right up You
better bounce out of here now.
Dang, can't you all take a joke?
Dijonay, can we
just get on with it?
Look, if anyone doesn't like
the way I'm running this tryout
you can break now.
Dang, can't any
of y'all take a joke?
Now, the racers only need
one more body on the squad
and it has to fit
into this uniform.
Oh, now you all got
a sense of humor.
Well, I'm not joking
because this is the
last uniform we've got.
Okay, let's do this.
Uh, go, go, go, ribbs racers.
Yay!
Next.
Racers spread peace.
Racers spread love.
Racers spread happiness.
Come on, everybody.
Cheer for the racers. Whoo!
Next.
U-g-l-y you
ain't got no alibi ♪
you ugly, uh, uh ♪
you ugly, uh, uh ♪
Next.
We're not here to
do some stupid cheer ♪
so just empty your pockets
and put the money in here ♪
now! ♪
Dang, they got us again.
Who invited them, anyway?
The Proud family ♪
what? you and me
will always be tight ♪
family, every
single day and night ♪
even when you
start acting like a fool ♪
you know I'm loving
every single thing you do ♪
I know that I can
always be myself ♪
I love you more
than anybody else ♪
and every day as I'm
heading off to school ♪
you know there's no
one I love as much as you ♪
family, a family ♪
Proud family ♪
they'll make you scream ♪
they'll make
you want to sing ♪
it's a family
thing, a family ♪
Proud, Proud family ♪
the Proud family ♪
they'll push your buttons ♪
and make you
want to hug them ♪
family, a family,
Proud, Proud family ♪
Yo, this is sticky webb
with the next episode
of the racer's edge.
Today's hot topic:
Is it true that
homie-ism has infected
the Willie T. Ribbs
middle school tryouts?
Let's watch.
If you're not a winner,
you better go home ♪
'cause I'm Penny Proud,
I'm cute and I'm loud ♪
and I got it going on ♪
What she's really
trying to say is
"if you're not a friend of Dijonay
you'd best be on your way."
That's my girl.
And I think we got a wi
Is this the tryouts
for the racers?
Sorry, but the tryouts
are Lacienega?
Dijonay?
- Who's that?
- Mm-mmm.
Are the tryouts still open?
Yeah, girl, come on.
- Who was that?
- Lacienega?
We go back all the
way to the sandbox.
But you just said
I was the winner.
No. I said, we had "a
wi" Relax, you're in.
I'm just doing an old friend a
favor. She's not going to beat you.
Racers to the left.
Racers to the right.
Racers up the middle.
Fight, fight, fight.
Wow!
She's worse than me.
See? You have
nothing to worry about.
Let's do this for real.
Are you ready? ♪
This is sticky webb at
the cheerleader tryouts.
The votes have been counted,
recounted and counted again.
And we still don't
have a winner.
Is this any kind of way
to pick a cheerleader?
It's certainly not the
way you pick your friend.
Relax, Penny. You were great.
And besides, no one is
tighter than you and Dijonay.
You're a shoo-in.
She's right, you know?
You were great. I was terrible.
Are you kidding?
You were fantastic!
I've never seen
moves like that before.
There's no way
you're not going to
Uh I-I think I hear
somebody calling me.
I hate to admit it
but tree girl has got a point.
- You think so?
- I know so
Ms "I'm cute, I'm loud,
I'm Penny pathetic"!
Oh, you were good
If you were trying out
for the circus freak show.
And the jury's back,
with the decision.
All right, ladies
And Michael, we have a tie.
Between me and who?
Calm down, ugly
boy, and let me finish.
It's between my
girl, Penny Proud
and my other girl,
Lacienega Boulevardez.
So, who made the squad?
Well, since I am captain,
I make the final decision.
And I've decided
to have a cheer-off!
Wow, guess you two aren't
that tight after all, are you?
- You need help?
- No, I got this.
Stay still, Bebe.
Honey, get over
here! They're here!
Oscar, get away from there.
Those people are going to
think we're nosy neighbors.
Trudy, people who move
in the middle of the day
want you to be nosy, so
they can show off all their stuff.
And wow, check out the wife.
I mean, the wide-screen TV.
Whoo-whee!
One of our neighbors sure
is ugly. Good guga muga!
Who are you calling ugly?
Standing there with a face
only a mother could love.
- And I don't.
- That's cold, Mama.
The truth hurts, boy.
Trudy? I was just next door
talking to the family moving in.
I think I just met
Caesar Romero.
Mama, Caesar Romero's dead.
Shoot, I know
dead when I see it.
Heck, I'm darn near dead myself.
But that man made me feel
things I haven't felt since I was
Mama, please stop!
Well, Sugar Mama!
Why don't you two
try and get together?
We are, tonight. I invited
them over for dinner.
- Here?
- "Them" who?
The new neighbors.
- The Boulevardez family.
- Boulevardez?
Oh, no.
No way. This cannot be.
Penny, what is your problem?
Who are you talking about?
Lacienega Boulevardez.
I can't stand her.
Excuse me, young lady?
I'm sorry, mom
but I'm competing with Lacienega
for the last spot on
the cheer-leading squad
and she's really mean to me.
Plus, she's acting like
she's Dijonay's best friend
and everybody knows
Dijonay and I are best friends.
Anyway, it's just not fair.
I told you to ditch that
Dijonay a long time ago.
Maybe if you get
to know her better
you two just might
become good friends.
Doubting it.
Well, I know one thing.
We won't be having company with
people who have a bigger TV than ours.
Be right back, honey.
May I leave, too?
No. I'm going to need some
help getting dinner ready.
But, mom, I don't want to
That's enough.
You're going to help me,
and when our guests arrive
you're going to be
on your best behavior.
Understood?
Yes, Mama.
Oscar, what is that?
It's the new, 84-inch man's
screen 8000, fully equipped
with a satellite dish
and pizza-maker.
It's got everything a
guy needs to watch TV.
Big deal. You'll still fall
asleep on the couch watching it.
Not anymore.
I love this thing.
Penny! Suga Mama!
Company's here.
Okay, I'm coming!
Oh, stop acting a fool.
Who left this open?
Welcome, everyone.
I'm Trudy Proud, and
this is my husband
Oscar Proud owner
of Proud snacks.
Oh, you're the guy.
Felix Boulevardez
Boulevardez construction.
We use your snacks as landfill.
This is my wife, sunset,
my daughter Lacienega
and my pops, Papi.
And you already know Suga Mama.
Your eyes sparkle
like dull diamonds,
and the back of your hand
pricks me like a porcupine.
But at my age you
can't be too picky.
Child, I don't
know what you said
but you sure put
a smile on my face.
I brought Penny a
present, Mrs. Proud.
Where is she?
Penny!
Get your behind down here.
I'm down.
So, Felix
I saw them bring
in your big screen.
What is that little
beauty, an 80-inch?
Yeah, yeah, it is but But
this is my daughter's television.
I watch my TV in a home theater.
Wow.
- Want to check it out?
- Can I?
Hey!
Hey, Oscar!
Come in here and fix this thing.
Me and Cesar want
to watch wrestling.
So after I pulled him over
I told Felix he had a choice of walking
the line or walking down the aisle.
And he went for that?
I'm a cop and I'm strapped.
Mrs. Proud, this smells so good.
What is it?
It's chitlins.
So, Lacienega, I
hear you and Penny
are trying out for cheerleaders.
I know I'm not going to make it.
Penny is much better than I am.
I'm just honored to be mentioned
in the same breath as Penny.
Oh, my.
You have the ultra Megatron
HDTV with the P-in-P and the DVD.
I'm in l-u-v.
Oh, no, no, no.
Now you're about
to fall in love.
This is great.
When I want to get away
I tell my wife I'm going
on a business trip.
I double back and
I kick it right here.
Really? How do you
get away with that?
Well, this baby is soundproof.
Nothing gets out,
and nothing gets in.
Oscar! Felix! Dinner's ready!
Except my wife.
Felix, it was great meeting you.
We'll have to take that
trip we talked about earlier.
What trip?
Uh, the camping trip.
You know, the one during the
weekend of the big boxing match.
Oh, yeah. Sure.
So you're coming to our women's
self-defense class next week, right?
- Keep Oscar in his place.
- You bet.
Dinner was delicious, Mrs. Proud,
and your house is beautiful.
Oh, why, thank you, Lacienega.
Hey, Penny, now
that we're neighbors
I guess we'll be
hanging out together.
That would be not happening.
Kidding.
That would be fun.
Your hand feels like
fine corinthian leather.
Ooh, Oscar, your new
stepdaddy sure can talk.
Good night.
I don't understand what you
were talking about, Penny.
Lacienega seems
like a very nice girl
and she really
seemed to like you.
She was playing us, mom.
Oh, just give her
a chance, baby.
She seems to be trying.
Why can't you?
Okay, mom, I'll try.
You better because
Felix Boulevardez
is the best thing that
ever to happened to me
and if you mess
that up, I swear I'll
I mean, listen to your mother.
Hey, Lacienega.
Look, maybe we got
off on the wrong foot.
I'm really sorry.
- Let's be cool, okay?
- Save it, cornball.
I'm already cool by myself
and your house stinks.
Hey, guys, I've
saved seats for you.
Penny, why don't
you sit with us, too?
I don't think so.
I'd rather sit with the gross
sisters than sit with you.
- Come on, sticky.
- Wait a minute, Penny.
Let's think about this.
The gross sisters are
Well, well, they're gross.
Come on!
What has gotten into that girl?
I don't know. I was just
trying to be nice to her.
Maybe she's not
getting enough roughage.
Come on, Penny, don't.
Sit, sticky.
You know, you got guts
coming over here, but it's cool.
I mean, just because we take your money
doesn't mean we don't have feelings.
Speaking of which
Uh, why are we paying to
be with people we don't like
when we can be with
people we do like for free?
Because I don't like Lacienega.
She's turning my
best friend against me.
I wish she would just go away.
- Oh, really?
- She didn't mean that.
That was just a
figure of speech.
I do mean it. I wish I never
had to look at her ever again.
As in, you would never want
anything bad to happen to her, right?
I just wish she wasn't
around ruining my life.
I can't eat, you guys. I'm out.
I've got to get ready for
the cheer off. Woo-woo.
Where you going, three eyes?
I like that big-head girl.
You know, we ought to
help her out and I got an idea.
Oscar, where are you going?
Camping with Felix.
We're going to do that
male bonding thing.
So what is this for?
You're taking a TV
schedule for reading?
Oh, I don't read it, I
just look at the pictures.
Tell her, Mama.
Oh, yeah, the boy's simple.
Well, I got to run. I'm
going to miss the big bout
I mean, uh, going to
fish for the big trout. Bye.
No, you can't go with daddy.
When I get back I'll take
you fishing in the sink.
Trudy!
Come on, babies.
Let's go play with
your daddy's new TV.
What's the long face for?
I'm going to make the
cheer-leading squad.
Oh, why not? What happened?
Dijonay, my so-called best friend
is selling me out for Lacienega.
Stop all that whining, girl.
Your name is Proud, not punk.
Now, if you want to win
that cheer-leading thing
you need a gimmick.
You know anything
about twirling?
What?
Just watch what I
do with my cane.
A few moves like this
and I guarantee you'll win.
The trick is to never
Drop your baton.
Get up, puff, and find my cane.
Yay! Yay!
Dada! Dada!
Daddy?
Where's daddy?
Yo, Penny you better
check your girls.
The gross sisters
are straight trippin'.
What are you
talking about, sticky?
The gross sisters.
The three big ashy girls.
They're going to ruin
Lacienega's cheer.
Good.
No, not good.
They're going to straight jack
her. And it's all because of you.
Me? I didn't tell
them to do anything.
But they think you did.
And you're the only
one that can squash this.
Please, they just talking mess.
Oh, yeah?
4well, peep this.
I programmed my
pager to pick up a signal
from the government
spy satellite.
Why?
Because I got it like that.
Wow.
What are they going to do?
They're going to make
Lacienega look fly
But it's not going to be pretty
if you know what I mean.
What are you
talking about, sticky?
The gross sisters turned the
entire stage into a giant CD
and when they hit play
I believe Lacienega's
going to be singing
"I believe I can fly."
The gross sisters did
this by themselves?
Are you kidding?
I'm the one who came
up with the flying dish idea.
Do you know how long
it took me to calculate
the critical
velocities Sticky!
Look, Penny, the gross sisters
held me captive for
the past two days.
You have no idea
what they did to me in there.
I'll never be the same.
But forget about me.
You got to stop this madness
before Lacienega
lands on La Luna.
- Penny!
- Okay, okay.
Well, it's all taken
care of, Penny.
Lacienega won't be
saying any cheers today.
You guys, what are you doing?
We just helping you out.
You got me all wrong.
I would never do
something like this.
Of course you wouldn't.
This is what we do.
All we have to
do is pull this lever
and Lacienega's cheer-leading
career will be la history.
Ooh, that's really cool.
I mean, no. I can't
let you do this.
And how do you
plan on stopping us?
Oops.
There it is.
We out.
What are we going to do now?
Lacienega, watch out!
No, my scooter!
Get off the stage, Lacienega.
Back up. Wait your turn.
I'm first.
If you don't get off the stage
you're gonna be the first
cheerleader in outer space.
Are you threatening me, Proud?
I said get off!
No!
Wow, I didn't think
it would go that high.
Introducing this year's
Willy T. Ribbs sparkplugs.
Go ribs' racers!
Well, Proud, I guess I really
owe you a big thank you
for taking that
little spin for me.
It's the least you can do.
Sorry, can't do it.
That's it.
Ow, ow, ow, ow.
That was not right.
She did not have to go there.
Oh, now you get it.
I'm sorry, Penny.
I didn't know she was like that.
The Lacienega I knew
was a very nice person
someone you could
depend on, someone who
Was four years old.
But you know what, I'm the
one who should be apologizing.
I put a lot of pressure on you.
I felt like I was
losing my best friend.
You know I got
love for you, girl.
You'll always be my best friend.
- Really?
- Know that.
So we still cool?
Like the other
side of the pillow.
So, Dijonay, let me
ask you something.
Sure, girlfriend, anything.
If I wasn't hurt, who
would you have picked?
Me or Lacienega?
Uh honestly?
Honestly.
- For real?
- For real, for real.
For really, really,
for real, for real?
Dijonay!
Camping.
Does it get any better
than this, my friend?
No kids, no noise
and the best part:
No nagging wife.
Pass the popcorn.
Thank you, Trudy.
- Trudy!
- Sunset?
Camping trip, huh?
Nagging wife, huh?
Baby, I can explain.
We weren't talking
about our nagging wives
Yeah, we were talking about
the nagging wives on TV.
Sunset, don't do it.
I can explain.
Not my TV, please.
No! No! Oh!
Not again!