The Sopranos s01e01 Episode Script

Mr.
Soprano? Yeah.
Have a seat.
My understanding from dr.
Cusamano, your family physician, is that you collapsed.
Possibly a panic attack.
You were unable to breathe.
Theysaid it was a panic attack 'cause the blood work and neurological work came back negative.
And they sent me here.
You don't agree that you had a panic attack.
How are you feeling now? Good.
Fine.
Back at work.
What line of work are you in? Waste management consultant.
Look, it's impossible for me to talk to a psychiatrist.
Any thoughts at all on why you blacked out? I dunno.
Stress, maybe.
About what? I don't know.
The morning of the day i got sick, i'd been thinking.
It's good to be in something from the ground floor.
I came too late for that.
I know.
But lately, i'm gettin' the feelin' that i came in at the end.
The best is over.
Many americans, i think, feel that way.
I think about my father.
He never reached heights like me.
But in a lot of ways, he had it better.
He had his people.
They had their standards.
They had pride.
Today, what do we got? Did you have these feelings of loss more acutely in the hours before you collapsed? I don't know.
- A couple of months before, these two wild ducks landed in my pool.
It was amazing.
They're from canada or someplace, and it was matin' season.
They had some ducklings.
Here you go.
Here you go.
My daughter's friend was there to drive my daughter, meadow, to school.
Meadow, your father with those ducks.
I know.
The whole yard smells like duck poop.
It's embarrassing.
Girls, you gotta have more than just cranberry juice.
You need brain food.
Happy birthday! Thirteen.
He doesn't act it.
The male and female duck made a home in your pool and did it.
- Eeew.
Get outta here.
- Disgusting.
Girls, you want some of last night'ssfogliatell? - Get outta here with that fat.
- One bite.
- How do you stay so skinny? Him with those ducks.
If you don't like that ramp, i'll build you another one.
Maybe it's the wood.
Hey, kids, come here! They're trying to fly! - Come here.
The babies-- they're trying to fly.
- look! They're trying to fly.
National geographic, dad.
Super.
You showed us yesterday.
It's great! Now, my wife feels this friend is a bad influence.
That's so cool you're gonna be able to come to aspen with my family at christmas.
Last year, i saw skeet ulrich.
As close as from where you're sitting.
Oh, my god.
Miss meadow, we made a deal-- you keep your school grades up and you keep your curfew between now and christmas, then you get to go.
I know that.
Good morning, ladies.
Hey, mr.
Soprano.
We're late, dad.
Hey! Happy birthday.
Thanks, dad.
You're gonna be home for anthony junior's birthday party, right? Bird man, hello.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll get home early from work.
I'm not talking about work.
This isn't gonna work.
I can't talk about my personal life.
Finish telling me about the day you collapsed.
I drove to work with my nephew, christopher.
He's learning the business.
He's an example of what i was talking about before.
Did you call what's- his- name at triboro towers about the hauling contract? I got home too late last night.
I didn't want to wake the man up.
Did you get up early this morning and call? He's in his office by 6:00.
I was nauseous this morning.
My mother told me i shouldn't even come in.
Bear in mind, this is a kid who just bought himself a $60, 000 lexus.
There's that guy mahaffey.
Get out.
Yeah, right there next to the boo- boo in pink.
Back up.
My friend mahaffey.
Pulling his taffy.
Hello.
We saw this guy, and there was this issue of an oustandin' loan.
Can i stop you for a second? I don't know where this story is going.
But there are a few ethical ground rules we should quickly get out of the way.
What you tell me here falls under doctor/patient confidentiality.
Except, if i was, uh-- if i was to hear, let's say, a murder was to take place.
Not that i'm saying it would, but if-- if a patient comes to me and tells me a story where someone's going to get hurt, i'm supposed to go to the authorities.
Technically.
You said you were in waste management.
- Environment.
- Dr.
Cusamano, besides being your family physician, is also your next- door neighbor.
See what i'm saying? I don't know what happened with this fellow, i- i'm just saying.
Nothing.
We had coffee.
- Help! - security! Help! - Aw, shit! - Asshole! - tony! Wait up! Security! Hey, security! You all right? My leg is broken! The bone's coming through.
Oh, let me see.
I'll give you a fuckin' bone, you prick! Where's my fuckin' money? - So you had coffee.
- Right.
- your fuckin' face, motherfucker! - - what are you doing? Get over here! Get over here! - That's $3, 000.
$3, 000.
Go ahead.
- Where's our fuckin' money? - I'll get the money.
I know you'll get the fuckin' money.
Know what you should get? A cork in your fuckin' mouth, 'cause you tell people i'm nothing compared to the people that used to run things.
I'm sorry! - You prick! - i'm nothing? Shut up! What are you crying about? H.
M.
O.
! Huh? You're covered, you prick! Degenerate fuckin' gambler.
Go on.
Next day, i had a breakfast meeting.
I was called in to consult by a garbage company i represent.
Big, what's the story with triboro towers? The site manager wants to renew his contract with dick, but this kolar sanitation-- another nationwide company.
The kolar brothers, some kind of czechoslovakian immigrants.
These polacks, they'll haul paper, plastic and aluminum for 7, 000 a month less than dick.
So they pay us for stealin' your stop.
That's the thing-- they won't.
He says if he can tell commie bosses in czechoslovakia to go fuck themselves, he can fuckin' tell us.
Oh! I give up.
Fuckin' garbage business.
Yeah, i know.
It's all changing.
Let me see what i can do.
Are you sure? You over your stomachache? Oh, yeah.
Good.
What are you doin' here? Hey.
Gabriella sends me down here for thecapicollo.
Best in the area.
Hey, t, let me ask you something-- you used to go to school with a guy named artie bucco? This situation came up.
It involves my uncle.
I can't go into details on this one.
That's fine.
But i will say this: My uncle adds to my general stress level.
It's none of my business, but down at the club word is your uncle junior is gonna whack pussy malanga.
He's gonna do it at your friend artie bucco's restaurant.
Hey, boys.
How are you? Don't move.
Uncle jun', how you doin'? Hey, good to see you.
Hiya, chris.
Hey, uncle junior.
I was just talking about you.
It's anthony junior's birthday dinner tonight? Yeah.
Don't buy anything big.
We overindulge him, okay? Hey! Oh! Artie, how's your rash? It's itchy.
Come here.
Good to see you.
Can you come over? Yeah.
Have a seat.
You know what it means for arthur, one of these old mutts gets wet in here? Yeah.
It'll ruin his business.
You better sit down with your uncle.
Uncle junior's my father's brother.
Good guy.
Just gettin' old.
Cranky.
Used to take me to yankee games when i was a kid.
I love my uncle.
At the same time, when i was young, he told my girl cousins i would never be a varsity athlete, and frankly, that was a tremendous blow to my self- esteem.
Who's there? It's me, ma.
Who are you? Ma, open the door.
Anthony? Yeah, it's me.
Open the door.
Hi, how are you? Geez, ma, get some air in here.
You lock the door after you? Yeah.
I did.
Somebody called here last night after dark.
Who? You think i'd answer? It was dark out.
Ma, i'll never understand that.
The phone is an auditory thing.
Dark is an eye thing.
I can understand not going out after dark, but not answering the phone after dark? Oh, listen to him.
He knows everything.
You want some lunch? I got eggplant.
No.
No.
I just ate.
Know who i just ran into? Uncle jun'.
You think he ever comes to see his sister- in- law? Yeah.
Remember artie bucco? Kid i went to elementary school with? Artie! Oh! Yeah, i still see his mother.
She tells me he calls her every day.
Yeah.
Well.
Uncle jun's gonna make a problem for artie.
Could affect his livelihood.
What's that? Cd player.
For who? For me? Yeah.
I don't want it.
You don't want it? You love music.
All the old stuff is being reissued on cd.
All your old favorites.
Pajama game, connie francis.
Here.
Come on.
Come on.
What? What? Ma, you need something to occupy your mind.
When dad died, you were going to do all kinds of things.
Oh, he was a saint.
Yeah, i know he was, but he's gone.
You were gonna travel, get a volunteer job.
Stop tellin' me how to live my life.
Just shut up.
- I just worry about you.
- Don't start with that nursing home again.
It's not a nursing home! It's a retirement community.
You're with active seniors your own age.
You go places.
You do things.
I've seen these women in these nursing homes in wheelchairs babbling like idiots.
- Here, eat your eggplant.
- I told you, i already ate lunch.
All right, listen.
You just speak to uncle junior about artie, okay? He respects you.
He'll listen to you.
If your uncle has business with arthur, he knows what he's doing.
And i don't? Well, all i know is daughters are better at taking care of their mothers than sons.
Yeah, and i bought cds for a broken record.
I expect to see you tonight at anthony junior's birthday party with your baked ziti.
Only if i'm picked up and brought back home.
I don't drive when they're predicting rain.
You're a healthy girl.
It's good for you to drive.
Use it or lose it.
I gotta go to work.
Sure.
Run off.
And that night was my son's birthday party.
My wife invites the priest.
He's always at the house.
Hey, tony.
How you doin'? You likecreme anglais? You bless it, i'll eat it.
She's not coming.
Grandma just called.
Who? She started crying and hung up.
She needs a purpose in life.
Your mother is tougher than you think.
So what? No fuckin' ziti now? Hey! At first, it felt like ginger ale in my skull.
Mom, daddy just fell! Mom! Tony! Dad! Get back! Madonna mia! Daddy! Dad! Anthony jr.
, call 911.
Dr.
Cusamano put me in the hospital.
Gave me every kind of test.
When you're in the m.
R.
I.
, there's a microphone if you get claustrophobia.
I suggest you don't do that because we have to start over from the beginning.
Okay.
Hey, carm.
I thought you might want some company.
Yeah.
How are the kids? They're worried about you.
I told anthony jr.
We'd rain- check his birthday.
Okay.
Think i got a brain tumor? Well, we're gonna find out.
What a bedside manner.
Very encouraging.
What are you gonna? Not know? We had some good times.
Had some good years.
Here he goes with the nostalgia.
Hey, all i'm sayin' is no marriage is perfect.
Well, havin' that gumaon the side helps.
I told you i'm not seeing her anymore.
- How do you think i feel having that priest around? - Don't even go there! Father is a spiritual mentor.
He's helping me to be a better catholic.
Yeah.
Well, we all got different needs.
What's different between you and me is you're going to hell when you die! My nephew christopher was handling the garbage contract problem.
But on this, i will also not go into detail.
Emile kolar.
Chris moltisante.
In czech republic, too, we love pork.
You ever have our sausages? No.
I thought the only sausages was italian and jimmy dean's.
See what you learn when you cross cultures and shit.
My uncle evzen doesn't know i came.
If we make progress, i'll have to tell him.
We have to make progress,"e- mail.
" We gotta stop the madness.
The garbage business is changing.
You and i of the younger generation, we have issues in common.
"Emile.
" Where'd you go to high school? Was it poland? I'm not polish.
Czechoslovakian, what's that? A type of polack, right? We came to this country when i was nine.
I went to west essex.
Yo, money.
You used to play my cousin in football.
- He went to boon-- - where's the stuff? Yes.
Yes, yes.
The reason for the visit.
I got it all deployed for you.
Taste the wares,"e- mail.
" "Emile.
" The doctors kept me hangin' about the tests.
As doctors will do.
So my uncle and i played a round of golf and had lunch.
You keep mentioning your uncle.
What seems to be the problem? Who do you think you are? The person who says how things go.
Now, listen, artie's business is nice, upscale people from the suburbs.
Don't ruin his life.
Vesuvio is where pussy feels safe.
He's been eating here all his life.
Hey, you kill him someplace else.
You may run north jersey, but you don't run your uncle junior.
How many fuckin' hours did i play catch with you? Can we focus more on your immediate family? My wife and my daughter were not getting along.
Your husband plowed under his corn to build a baseball field.
These laser discs are incredible.
Tony watchesgodfather ii all the time.
He says the camera work looks as good as in the theater.
Gordon willis.
Tony prefersii, noti? Yeah.
He likes the part where vito goes back to sicily.
Iiiwas, like, what happened? Where does tony rankgoodfellas? Do you have racoons? Somebody's jimmying the window.
What? You have all these security lights.
Who would try-- oh, no.
Geez louise.
Hold it! Meadow.
I notice the glass rattles every time i walk to the laundry room.
Do we have any, what- ya- call- it, putty? Don't give me that.
You snuck out! - What's going on? - You locked my bedroom window on purpose so i'd get caught.
Normal people thought you were doing your homework! You have become a master of lying and conniving.
Yeah, i know i'm grounded, but patrick's swim meet is tomorrow and he needed me! Grounded for this? Oh, no, you're not grounded.
You're not going to aspen, that's where you're not going.
Yes! But this shit i'm tellin' ya, it'll all blow over.
Didn't you admit to dr.
Cusamano that you were feeling depressed? Melfi.
What part of the boot you from, hon? Dr.
Melfi.
My father's people were from caserta.
Avellino.
My mother would've loved it if you and i got together.
Anxiety attacks are legitimate psychiatric emergencies.
Suppose you were driving and you passed out? Let me tell you something.
Nowadays, everybody's gotta go to shrinks and counselors and go on sally jesse raphael and talk about their problems.
Whatever happened to gary cooper? The strong, silent type.
That was an american.
He wasn't in touch with his feelings.
He just did what he had to do.
See, what they didn't know is once they got gary cooper in touch with his feelings, they wouldn't be able to shut him up.
Then it's dysfunction this and that, dysfunctionvaffancul! You have strong feelings about this.
I had a semester and a half of college.
I understand freud.
I understand therapy as a concept.
But in my world, it does not go down.
Could i be happier? Yeah.
Who couldn't? Do you feel depressed? Do you feel depressed? Since the ducks left.
I guess.
The ducks that preceded your losing consciousness.
Let's talk about them.
You can't blame t for being pissed.
You whacked this kid.
You should've waited.
That's the last time i show initiative.
Imagine how i felt? T's running down the garbage business; i wet a guy to hold on to one of our stops.
He's not running it down.
It's getting harder in new york.
One, two, three! Come on! - This is fucked up.
- What, pussy? The kolar uncle is gonna find the kid dead in one of his bins and get out of our fuckin' business? No way.
"Louis brasi sleeps with the fishes.
" - Luca brasi.
Luca.
- Whatever.
There's differences, christopher, okay, from the luca brasi situation and this.
Look, the kolars know the kid is dead, it hardens their position.
Plus, now, the cops are looking for a murderer.
So, what do you wanna do? He disappears.
He never comes home.
They know, but they don't know.
They hope maybe he'll turn upif.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Come on.
Let's get'im.
Take'im to staten island.
I'll cut'im up.
All right.
Let's go.
Pussy, you know, t collapsing at the birthday-- what would you do if he was disabled? Why would you even ask that? Our lecture series in action.
It's someone from the university discussing the novels of zora neale hurston.
Hmm! Didn't you just read her in school, med? It's very nice.
You know, grandma, this place is pretty neat.
You should really think about it.
This room was renovated last year.
What goes on behind there? Those doors lead to our nursing unit.
Thisis a nursing home! This is a residence, but just in case-- no, you are not getting me into-- you're not listening.
You're not listening, ma.
I know these women in their wheelchairs.
Ma, you're not listening.
Ma.
You think you're so high and mighty.
With your fancy office.
Ma! Ma! People come here to die.
Oh, my god! Tony! Somebody get a doctor.
Dad! So, you've come back for help.
Don't look at that as a defeat.
She's part of that generation that grew up during the depression.
But the depression to her was a trip to six flags.
There's that "d" word again.
Stay with your mother.
Now that my father's dead, he's a saint.
When he was alive, nothing.
My dad was tough.
He ran his own crew.
A guy like that, and my mother wore him down to a little nub.
He was a squeaking little gerbil when he died.
Quite a formidable maternal presence.
I gotta be honest with you, um, i'm not getting any satisfaction from my work either.
Why? - Well, because of rico.
- Is he your brother? - No, the rico statutes? - Oh, of course.
You read the papers? The government's using electronic surveillance and various legal strategies to squeeze my business.
Do you have any qualms about how you actually make a living? Yeah.
I find i have to be the sad clown.
Laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.
See, things are trending downward.
Used to be a guy got pinched, he took his prison jolt no matter what.
Everybody upheld the code of silence.
Nowadays, no values.
Guys today have no room for the penal experience.
So everybody turns government witness.
I feel exhausted just talking about it.
Well, with today's pharmacology, no one needs to suffer with feelings of exhaustion and depression.
Here we go.
Here comes the prozac.
Mahaffey does not have the money.
What do you mean? - Mahaffey does not have the money.
- How could he not? - The man does not have the money.
- We ran the man over.
- T himself.
- The man has no wiggle room.
He's bled dry.
So, uh, i hear that junior wants to whack pussy bompensiero.
- Pussy malanga.
- Oh, little pussy.
You think he's going to fuck with big pussy? My pussy? Andrea.
Stay with drinks on the house-- all night.
Sorry, mr.
Dante.
Sorry.
So, uh your uncle resents that you're the boss.
Sadness accrues.
Your uncle's had a hard- on his whole life.
First against your father, his younger brother, 'cause he was a made man before him, and now you.
So, sure, he can't stomach your telling him what to do.
Hesh, i love the man.
The man is driven, in toto, by his insecurities.
I feel bad i was the messenger.
Your friend, artie, with the restaurant, get him out of town for three weeks.
That way, the restaurant closes, the hit has to go down someplace else.
You old fuckin' jew.
No wonder my old man kept you around so long.
What about this jew's 250 on mahaffey's 100? All right, mahaffey has a new business partner: You.
H.
M.
O.
S pay out millions to doctors, hospitals, whatever the fuck.
That m.
R.
I.
I had, $2, 000 a pop.
Now, we give this mahaffey a choice.
He either has his company start payin' out phoney claims to fake clinics we set up or he pays hesh the 250 grand he owes him-- which we know he cannot do-- or it's a rainy night in lyndhurst.
Very smart.
Could be major.
- Could be as good as garbage.
- Garbage is our bread and butter.
Was.
Miss meadow! So, med.
I'm not going.
Every year on this date since you were itty- bitty, mom and meadow get all dolled up, drive in to new york, plaza hotel, for tea under eloise's portrait.
Look.
Where's yours? I have too much homework.
It's our little tradition.
We always have so much fun.
To tell you the truth, i felt it was dumb since i was eight.
I just go because you like it.
And here i thought this was something we would do long after you got married with girls of your own.
Hopefully i won't be living here by then.
You've got mail.
Meadow, you can't just lie and cheat and break the rules you don't like! What? You have something you want to say to me? Do you have any idea how much it means to go skiing in aspen? Do you think that's gonna happen every year, like lame tea and scones at the plaza hotel? Good- bye.
Close my door, please.
Artie! Okay, gimme a drop.
Oh! A drop, not a spurt.
Suave, a drop.
Artie.
How are you? Hey! Stir the meatballs.
I wonder if you can help me out.
What do you need? Cruise, caribbean, s.
S.
Sagafjord, Pair of tickets.
I can't use'em.
Can you take'em off my hands? Where'd they come from? - Comps.
- Comps? - What does that mean, "comps"? - As business manager for the kitchen the restaurant workers union, i administer the dental plan.
You listening to me? Yeah.
A couple of dentists got together, and in appreciation, they awarded me these tickets.
Problem is, i can't get away.
Here.
When's the last time you got away? Anthony, thank you.
All right.
Mr.
Soprano.
You cannot accept a gift like that from tony soprano.
No way.
Listen, charmaine, if i gotta stick my hand up the ass of one more lobster without a break-- i'm gonna go postal.
I don't even want to talk about it.
Art, melissa, it's time to go home.
Honey, you have to get away.
Wehave to get away for the marriage.
No! It's bad enough that these mobsters still come in and patronize the place.
- So what? We're not connected.
- Because we turned down those tickets.
But the tickets were comps.
Tony is a labor leader.
Arthur, please grow up! Does the mind not rebel at any scenario under which dentists are sending the don of new jersey first class on a norwegian steamship? Somebody donated their kneecaps for those tickets.
Herman, there's no way i can subvert my fuckin' company.
Have them pay claims for m.
R.
I.
S that never happened? The paperwork will look just like the real.
How do i not get caught? I hate to hear you knocking yourself.
You're a smart guy.
I'm depressed.
I'm so depressed i can't eat, sleep.
You on prozac? Zoloft.
It's similar.
It's supposed to help with gambling too.
No shit? This new generation of antidepressants are supposed to be useful against compulsive behaviors.
That's a shame.
A medication comes along after gambling gets your fuckin' hip busted to shit.
I'm trying not to be cynical.
Your debt and the feeling surrounding it is the source of your problems.
You know it and i know it.
I'm sorry i haven't paid you, herman.
- I know you are.
- I never meant to denigrate tony soprano.
Hey, you wanna go for a walk in the rocks? The crutches.
I can't-- come on.
It's beautiful.
We'll help you.
I go out to think.
Thanks, but no.
Uhlet's try it-- what you were sayin' before with the m.
R.
I.
S? Dick's lookin' for ya.
Hey, tony.
I just heard from triboro towers.
The kolar brothers withdrew their bid.
That's good.
That's good.
Listen, by the way, artie bucco's here to see you.
I gotta go, guys.
Take care.
Artie! Artie, you all right? I can't.
What are you talkin' about? - We discussed this.
You gotta leave town.
- I'm sorry.
This is unacceptable! I had an 8:00 reservation i made two weeks ago.
Sir, as i explained, people are not leaving their tables, and there are five parties ahead of you.
What would you like-- can i help you? I tore her a new one.
Why don't we go to another restaurant and eat? We're here.
Mr.
Soprano, how you doin'? Giuseppe, how you doin'? Hey.
This way.
Sweetie pie, i'm hungry.
- Hey.
- Tony, where are you going? - Hey.
How are you? - Good.
You come here? When possible.
Hey, uh, listen, those decorating tips you gave me really work.
Good.
How you doin'? Nils.
Nils.
Do you know who that was? Obviously, you do.
Is he a patient? You know i can't say.
Decorating tips-- yeah, right.
Nils, shut the fuck up.
Mr.
Borglund, they're setting up your table right now.
Whoa.
Who was that woman tonight at the restaurant? My decorator.
What? You're redoing the garbage dump? That's funny.
Hey, you better not be messin' with that hat! Goddamn! Come on! That's j.
F.
K.
's hat! I bought it at that auction.
Gimme that! Irina, jesus.
I know there is something more intimate between you and her.
Nothing intimate.
We just talk.
Yeah.
Mr.
Soprano, buonasera.
Months we don't see you.
Where you been? Signora carmela.
You know, sometimes, life is good.
Life is often good.
True regaliali, for example.
You been in good spirits the last couple days.
Carmela, something i gotta confess.
What are you doing? Getting my wine in position to throw in your damn face.
You're always with the drama.
You go ahead and confess already.
Get it over with.
I'm on prozac.
Oh.
Oh, my god.
I been seein' a therapist.
Oh, my god! I think that's great! I think that's wonderful! I think that's so gutsy! All right, take it easy.
That's wonderful! You'd think i was hannibal lecter before.
I just think it's great.
Psychology doesn't address the soul.
That's something else.
But this is a start.
I'm gonna shut up now.
I'll shut up now.
You're the only person who knows.
The only reason i'm telling you this is'cause you're my wife.
You're the only person on this planet i'm totally honest with.
Oh, please.
Goddamn it, i'm serious.
Wrong person finds out, i get a steel- jacketed antidepressant in back of the head.
I didn't realize you were so unhappy.
I don't know.
My mother-- you told him about your father, right? Who? Your therapist.
Yeah.
Yeah, i told him.
Oh, good.
But your mother is the one.
I don't know.
I feel like lately my life's out of balance.
Our existence on this earth is a puzzle.
My own daughter hates me.
She doesn't hate you, carm.
We were best friends.
Mothers and their daughters.
She'll come back to you.
Hello? Jesus, i got through.
What's the matter, no social life? Blow me.
Dad! I brought you my primavera.
It's your favorite.
Who is it? Christopher.
Friend of ours just got back.
Little pussy malanga, sometimes confused with fellow mobster big pussy bompensiero, had just returned from florida-- so it's gonna go down soon? Don't worry about it.
I got a way to put it to bed.
Come on, meadow! Go falcons! So, uh, when do you need this by? Right away.
Way to go, meadow! Beautiful.
Beautiful.
I think i can get a party like that together.
Side out? That ball hit the line.
What are you doin', ref? Mom didn't come? Didn't think you wanted her to.
Car's over there.
Hey, mr.
Dante.
Hi.
See ya, heather.
You guys played a good game.
That heather dante, where'd she get that spike? Dad, don't you think it's unfair what mom is doing? Now making this movie scene out of it.
The sad mom who can't come to her daughter's sports events.
Dad.
Don't you think it's totally out there? My aspen trip.
What is she thinking? Dad? It's been years since i been here.
Dad, please talk to her.
Please.
This is so stupid.
Why are we sitting here? Your mother thinks you have the capacity to be a top student, and i agree.
What do you guys want, perfection? What are you looking at? Your great- grandfather and his brother frank, they built this place.
Big whoop.
Stone and marble workers.
They came over from italy and they built this place.
Yeah, right.
Two guys.
No, there were two guys and a crew of laborers.
They didn't design it but they knew how to build it.
Go out now and find me two guys who can put decent grout around your bathtub.
So i feel good.
So i don't know if i'm gonna be needing to come back.
It's not the prozac.
Why not? You said you're thinking clearer and your wife says you seem to be better? It's not the medication.
Prozac takes several weeks to build up effective levels in the blood.
What is it, then? Coming here.
Talking.
Hope comes in many forms.
Well, who's got time for that? What is it you want to say to me? I had a dream last night.
Uh my bellybutton was a phillips head screw.
And i'm workin' unscrewin' it, and when i get it unscrewed my penis falls off.
You know, i pick it up.
And i'm holdin' it and i'm runnin' around lookin' for the guy who used to work on my lincoln-- when i drove lincolns-- so he can put it back on.
And i'm holdin' it up, and this bird swoops down and grabs it in its beak and flies off with it.
- What kind of bird? - i don't know.
Seagull or something.
A water bird? I sawthe birds last week on cable.
You think that planted the idea? What else is a water bird? Pelican.
Flamingo.
What about ducks? Those goddamned ducks.
What is it about those ducks that meant so much to you? It was just a trip havin' those wild creatures come into my pool and have their little babies.
I was sad to see'em go.
Aw, jesus! Fuck! Now he's gonna cry.
Shit.
Fuck me.
When the ducks gave birth to those babies, it became a family.
You're right.
That's the link.
The connection.
I'm afraid i'm gonna lose my family like i lost the ducks.
That's what i'm full of dread about.
- That's always with me.
- What are you so afraid's going to happen? I don't know.
You work so hard.
You work so damn hard.
And to see your life's dream burn down.
Look at it this way.
You collect the insurance.
Arthur, you gotta say to yourself, it could've been worse.
Yeah.
How could it have been worse? Fuckin' faulty stove! Suppose people stop coming to the restaurant? I don't know.
I don't know what the fuck.
He's right about that.
There's no insurance for that.
But why would people stop coming? It's just starting to catch on.
Know what i'm figuring out lately? Talking helps.
- That's right.
- He's right.
- Hope comes in many forms.
- Absolutely.
Come on.
Oh, geez.
Here, hold this.
Artie.
Artie, come on.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, look at me.
Look at me.
I'll always help you.
Come on.
Come on.
Go cook.
Let'im cook.
He'll feel better.
Someday i'll tell him we torched the restaurant as the best solution.
Enough of this shit.
What's wrong with you? You know, a simple "way to go, chris" on the triboro towers contract would've been nice.
You're right.
You're right.
I have no defense.
That's howiwas parented, never supported.
Never complimented.
You know, my cousin gregory's girlfriend is what they call a development girl out in hollywood.
She said i could sell my life story-- make millions.
I didn't do that.
I stuck it out with you-- come here.
I could fuckin' kill you.
What are you gonna do, go henry hill on me? You know how many mobsters are selling screenplays, screwing everything up? She said i could maybe even play myself.
Oh, yeah? Yeah.
Forget hollywood screenplays.
Forget those distractions.
What do you think, i haven't had offers? You got work to do.
New avenues.
Everything's gonna be all right from here on in.
Come on.
Look, it's a beautiful day.
What could be bad? It's nice of you to pick me up for the party, junior.
At least somebody cares about me.
These kids today.
I suppose he thinks once he has me locked in a nursing home, i'll die faster.
And then he won't have to drive me anywhere.
If his father were still alive, he'd show more decency and respect for his mother.
My brother john was a man among men.
He was a saint.
Anyway, lots of things are different now from johnny's and my day.
What do you mean? I'm not free to run my business like i want.
Isn't that awful.
Just this week, your son stuck his hand in.
Made it a hundred times more difficult for me.
- Plus, he thumbs his nose at new york.
- Oh! What are you going to do? He's part of a whole generation.
Remember the crazy hair? And the dope.
Now it's fags in the military.
Stop it, junior! You're makin' me very upset! I don't like to, livia, but i'm allagita all the time.
I'll tell you something else, things are down across the board.
A lot of friends of ours are complaining.
We used to be recession- proof.
No more.
You can't blame it all on the justice department.
Our friends say to me, "junior, why don't you take a larger hand in things?" Something may have to be done, livia, about tony.
I don't know.
There they are.
Hey, ma! Uncle jun'! You're using mesquite.
That makes the sausage taste peculiar.
Hi, grandma.
Happy birthday, my big boy.
Carmela, my mother's here.
Everybody, let's eat! Hey, meadow, i'm not going to eat, are you?