The Spiderwick Chronicles (2024) s01e01 Episode Script
Welcome to Spiderwick
(gears clacking)
Welcome to Spiderwick.
I know this house is weird and
moldy,
but it's full of secrets
and surprises.
but it's full of secrets
and surprises.
DORIAN:Prepare
for The Spiderwick
Chronicles.
This town is full of stories.
Some are darker than others.
This town is full of stories.
Some are darker than others.
JARED:I think our
great-great-grandpa
Arthur Spiderwick
discovered that magical
creatures are real.
(creature sneezes)
My father catalogued each and
every creature
of the invisible world.
-There's this ogre, Mulgarath.
-(snarling)
JARED:He wants
Great-Grandpa
Spiderwick's Field Guide
-so he can kill everyone.
-(hissing)
You want something more.
I'm an ogre. I want everything
more.
-LUCINDA:Find the pages.
-(creature sneezes)
Put Spiderwick's Field
Guideback together.
You have to save everyone.
You have to save everyone.
(fire whooshing)
Believe.
(crickets chirping)
■ ■
■ ■
NARRATOR:Dear
viewer
Like all fairy tales,
it begins, "Once upon a
time"
Like all fairy tales,
it begins, "Once upon a
time"
Our time
Our time
-is now. -(croaking)
■ ■
■ ■
(low snarling)
DORIAN: Where's my daughter?
Where's my daughter?!
Where's my daughter?!
(wood thuds, creaks)
(creature snarls)
DORIAN: I did what you wanted.
The Grace family is coming.
Living at the old Spiderwick
Estate.
Living at the old Spiderwick
Estate.
So please
give me my daughter back.
(growling)
(panting)
Daddy!
Oh, Calliope.
Oh, Calliope.
-I'm so -I'm all right.
I just want to go home.
Oh, God.
Y-You're shorter.
Y-You're shorter.
An inch.
Less, but shorter.
Less, but shorter.
The scar from when you took the
Shrinky Dink
out of the toaster oven too
quickly, it's
out of the toaster oven too
quickly, it's
it's on the wrong cheek.
It was on the left. Not the
right.
It was on the left. Not the
right.
Stop scaring me.
Which Shrinky Dink was it?
-I don't remember. -Try,
princess!
SpongeBob.
It was SpongeBob, right?
It was SpongeBob, right?
My Calliope would never let me
call her "princess."
My Calliope would never let me
call her "princess."
She'd think it was too
diminutive.
Who are you?
Wrong question.
-(roaring) -(screams)
(crunching)
(crunching)
The troll is eating
as you planned.
(creature snarling)
(creature snarling)
(growling)
My dread Lord Mulgarath.
Shh
Shh
When attired in this frock,
I believe it would benefit our
righteous cause
I believe it would benefit our
righteous cause
to refer to this flesh as
Daddy.
-Daddy. -Yeah.
-Daddy. -Yeah.
We have much to do.
The Grace family is coming.
Arthur Spiderwick's Field Guide
will soon be ours.
(croaks)
(passing truck horn blares)
SIMON: Okay, buddy.
SIMON: Okay, buddy.
Who's hungry? (clicks tongue)
Doesn't this gross you out?
Feeding a windshield buffet to
your mice.
Lemondrop and Jeffrey are
starving.
Kids, can I get some help,
please?
MALLORY: Yeah. Coming.
HELEN: We've got to smoosh this
luggage in.
HELEN: We've got to smoosh this
luggage in.
Careful. Don't squish that bag.
Okay. All right.
Okay. All right.
Okay, I want to get there before
the moving truck.
-Where's your brother? -We were
just in the mini-mart.
You think Jared's getting into
trouble, like always?
Give him a break, you guys.
We're all here to support your
brother.
And we're moving to Michigan to
help him get
And we're moving to Michigan to
help him get
the psychiatric help he needs,
so just be kind.
■ ■
■ ■
-(door chimes) -HELEN: Hurry up.
We've been waiting.
-Where were you? -I was being
inconsiderate, and in doing so,
I diminish my own dignity.
But I was using the gas station
Wi-Fi to download a podcast
But I was using the gas station
Wi-Fi to download a podcast
so Mallory and I won't fight
over music.
-(door chimes) -Hey! Hey, you.
I saw that.
I saw that.
Saw what? What happened?
I saw him steal a pack of gum.
JARED: W-What?
What? No, I didn't.
Okay, wait, wait. Look, he's not
lying.
All right? I promise.
You know Jared hates gum.
It's true.
It's true.
No breath freshener of any kind,
tragically.
He wouldn't take it. Swear.
Look.
See? He doesn't have it.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
Come on, bring it in, bring it
in.
We're not gonna let that ruin
our move.
This is gonna be great.
Grace family rule number one?
Grace family rule number one?
ALL: Don't be d-bags.
HELEN: Let's do this!
■Boogie jive and rap is
lifewhere I'm from ■
■Boogie jive and rap is
lifewhere I'm from ■
■Where I'm from, Ahmed
playwith Izzy where I'm
from ■
■Where I'm from, it be
likerun your coat
black ■
■Jupiter, keepsher
fat beats by the pack ■
■Jupiter, keepsher
fat beats by the pack ■
■Where I'm from,
nappy hair is life ■
■We be reading Marx
where I'm from ■
■The kids be rockin'
Clarkswhere I'm from
■
■You turn around your
cap,you talk over a
beat ■
■And dig some sounds
boomin'out a Jeep, where
I'm from ■
(speaking secret twin language)
■Where I'm from, the
beatsis infinite where
I'm from ■
■Where I'm from, the
beatsis infinite where
I'm from ■
■Voodoo, ashubani ■
Please stop with the dumb twin
language.
I'm trying to concentrate.
■On vibes, we freak
them universal beats ■
■On vibes, we freak
them universal beats ■
■You find it a the spot you
hitat ends of every
week ■
■We twist, exists,to
spin the maddest hits ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
(vehicle doors closing)
It's big.
It's a Victorian.
It's a Victorian.
It's a piece of crap.
Yep. It's a big piece of
Victorian crap.
Yep. It's a big piece of
Victorian crap.
But it's ours.
It's been in our family for
generations.
JARED: It has very "haunted
plantation
with tortured ghost ancestors"
vibes.
No. The North had redlining, not
plantations.
No. The North had redlining, not
plantations.
This isn't North, Mallory. This
is Michigan.
Restaurants here serve potato
salad
with raisins and militia
memberships.
-(keys jingling) -HELEN: Okay.
(gears clacking)
(gasps)
Welcome to Spiderwick.
(door creaks)
■ ■
(door closes)
The outside is inside.
Your great-grandpa Arthur
planted this tree.
It's called a manchineel tree.
It's called a manchineel tree.
They call the fruit death
apples.
Indigenous people used them to
ward off evil spirits.
Indigenous people used them to
ward off evil spirits.
They're poison, so if you see an
apple growing, toss it.
They're poison, so if you see an
apple growing, toss it.
■ ■
There's two kitchens.
This mini-oven works because
why?
Cooking mini-cocktail wieners,
duh.
HELEN: Arthur was an eccentric,
HELEN: Arthur was an eccentric,
and an artist, and an armchair
herpetologist
-Ew. -That means he studied
reptiles.
-And an entomologist. -That
means he studied insects.
I don't need you to translate
for me, Simon.
I'm not stupid.
I'm not stupid.
-Debatable. -JARED: Huh.
Well, at least I didn't ask
Athena Nguyen
how to pluck my unibrow hair.
You went through my DMs? I am so
gonna end you!
You went through my DMs? I am so
gonna end you!
JARED: You're gonna have to
catch me first.
MALLORY: Oh, yeah, you better
pray I don't.
MALLORY: Oh, yeah, you better
pray I don't.
HELEN: I know this house is
weird and moldy,
but I adored playing here when I
was a kid.
but I adored playing here when I
was a kid.
It's full of secrets and
surprises.
And the woods, Simon,
And the woods, Simon,
you can't imagine the animals,
the plants.
Stop selling sunshine.
This is a house with walls and
doors and mushrooms.
This is a house with walls and
doors and mushrooms.
I know this is hard.
Divorce and your dad staying in
Brooklyn.
But since your Great-Aunt
Lucinda is
Nuttier than a squirrel on
molly?
HELEN: in a hospital, we can
live here.
HELEN: in a hospital, we can
live here.
Once we clean this up, this'll
be great.
Once we clean this up, this'll
be great.
And this is a good time for a
new beginning.
Summer break. Time to get
settled before school.
And I know we can all use a
fresh start.
-(horn honks outside) -HELEN:
That's the moving truck.
All right. Come on, let's go.
All right. Come on, let's go.
("Magic" by The Linda Lindas
playing)
■If I was invisible ■
■No one would judge me
for wanting to be by
myself ■
■But I'm already
invisible enough ■
■But I'm already
invisible enough ■
■Without anybody else's
help ■
■If I could go back in
time ■
■If I could go back in
time ■
■And just changethat
one thing ■
■Maybe now I'd be
different ■
■Maybe now I'd be
different ■
■But part of mewould
always be missing ■
■What if magic was real?
■
■What if magic was real?
■
■What if magic revealed
■
■Something nobody would
ever ■
■Wish upon themselves
or anybody else ■
■Maybe reality is
better. ■
■Maybe reality is
better. ■
Must've been Lucinda's room.
She was literally scratching at
the walls.
Those are too deep to be made by
a someone.
Those are too deep to be made by
a someone.
It was probably a something.
Some paint, an exorcism,
this could be a good room for
us, man.
In Brooklyn, we shared a room
because we had to.
And it wasn't even a room.
It was a converted pantry
that smelled like bouillon cubes
and compromise.
You know, now,
we can finally have our own
rooms.
we can finally have our own
rooms.
Is this about the gum thing?
-No. It's not about the gum.
-What? So you need privacy
-No. It's not about the gum.
-What? So you need privacy
for some single player gaming?
-Jared. Gross. No. -(chuckles)
Hey, you hate Lemondrop and
Jeffrey.
You always complain how they
keep you awake.
Now they don't have to.
Okay, but we haven't spent a
night apart
Okay, but we haven't spent a
night apart
since Mark Novom's sleepover
party that I wasn't invited to,
and Dad took you home because
you couldn't fall asleep
without me.
without me.
Okay.
Okay. You're right.
Okay. You're right.
I would probably creep into your
bed at night
when I get scared.
And thanks to you,
And thanks to you,
it's not like Dad could come
help us anymore, anyway.
(birds chirping)
(insects buzzing)
(insects buzzing)
■ ■
Mm. Nice portrait.
Those Spiderwick genes are
strong.
Those Spiderwick genes are
strong.
The both of you.
Some DNA is all we have in
common.
Some DNA is all we have in
common.
And we can wear the same pants.
Simon is nice and funny,
Simon is nice and funny,
he knows what a herpetologist
is.
Everyone loves Simon.
Everyone hates me.
Everyone hates me.
It's my fault we had to move
here.
It's my fault we had to move
here.
(sighs)
You've been going through a hard
time for a while now,
and we both know it's not
getting better.
and we both know it's not
getting better.
I don't know why I do the stupid
things I do.
I just do.
I just do.
Okay, I said I was sorry about
the thing at school.
I found a psychiatrist in
Henson.
I found a psychiatrist in
Henson.
Dr. Brauer.
He's been analyzing your Aunt
Lucinda's case.
Institutionalized Aunt Lucinda?
Institutionalized Aunt Lucinda?
Lucinda is my favorite person
ever.
I've told you all her stories
about ogres
and wood elves and her invisible
little boggart friend,
Thimbletack.
Thimbletack.
But then she believed her
stories were true.
She thought Thimbletack was
real?
Dr. Brauer is a thoughtful
Dr. Brauer is a thoughtful
and highly respected
psychiatrist.
He'll help us figure out what's
going on
inside that incredible head of
yours.
inside that incredible head of
yours.
See?
So itis my fault we're
here.
Having mental health issues
isn't a fault.
Having mental health issues
isn't a fault.
It's just how you were made.
Yeah, but
I wish you made me more like
Simon.
Come here.
Come here.
(sharp exhale)
All right. Come on, dinner's
ready.
(kisses) Come on.
(growling)
(growling)
(crickets chirping)
(owl hooting)
(thud echoes nearby)
Simon?
Did you hear that?
Mom?
Mom?
Mallory, is that you?
(thudding continues)
(thudding continues)
(thudding continues)
(floorboards creaking)
(soft jingling)
(floorboards creaking)
(floorboards creaking)
Blood?
(glass shatters)
"A. Spiderwick."
"A. Spiderwick."
Arthur Spiderwick?
(low growling)
(low growling)
(growling)
Welcome to our "people" house.
Welcome to our "people" house.
(hissing)
(hissing)
(meows)
So gross. Pets.
So gross. Pets.
CFC air conditioning left on.
Triple-wall cardboard boxes with
bubble wrap
Triple-wall cardboard boxes with
bubble wrap
and packing tape used to ship
two double-A batteries and a USB
cord.
The world would be a better
place without humans.
The world would be a better
place without humans.
That's why I'm going to consume
them.
And I am starving.
(rhythmic knock at door)
Hi. It's Stacy.
Varnow. From next door.
Dinner's here.
Dinner's here.
STACY: I saw you pull up.
My cat Goneril hasn't come home
and you left your bedroom window
open.
Uh, uh, yeah. Hi, Stacy.
-STACY: Can I come in? -CALLIOPE
(hushed): Yes.
No.
Yes.
No. It's too soon for our plan.
You know you want a taste of her
warm blood on your tongue.
You know you want a taste of her
warm blood on your tongue.
(growls)
STACY: I think I just heard her.
Goneril? Is that you? It's
Mommy.
(quietly): No.
(louder): Now's not a good time.
We'll keep an eye out.
Thanks, Stacy.
STACY: Okay. Thanks for
checking.
Goneril?
Hey, I'm hungry, too.
Hey, I'm hungry, too.
You promised me death.
A whole town.
Everyone?
I found the egg.
With that, I'll be able to
devour
every last soul in Henson
and you will get the death that
sustains you,
my loyal fetch.
But if you require a snack
(meows)
(crackling)
(Goneril yowling)
(Goneril yowling)
■Rescue me ■
■Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ■
■Rescue me ■
■Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ■
■Rescue me ■
SIMON: Where could they be?
-HELEN: Check the cabinet.
-JARED: Check under there.
-SIMON: Are you kidding me? -■
Rescue me. ■
JARED: No, no, look under the
sink.
HELEN: Why would they be in the
sink?
-(overlapping chatter) -Why are
we freaking out?
Lemondrop and Jeffrey are
missing!
JARED: I heard something in the
house.
JARED: I heard something in the
house.
A possum I think. Maybe it ate
them.
Maybe it was Lemondrop and
Jeffrey.
JARED: No, no, it was bigger.
Way.
Probably the thing that made
those scratch marks.
Probably the thing that made
those scratch marks.
I stabbed it with Mal's sword.
You touched my gear?!
-(groans loudly) -JARED: What?
-I was trying to help. -Why
didn't you wake me up?
-You wouldn't. -You broke my
sword!
-It was an accident. -MALLORY:
Accident on purpose.
-It was an accident. -MALLORY:
Accident on purpose.
You know I have a fencing tryout
with the maestro today, okay?
That's important. She's trained
elite champions.
That's important. She's trained
elite champions.
Okay, okay. Just--
I was being inconsiderate, and
in doing so,
-I diminish my own dignity.
-Shut up, Jared! Shut up.
I bet there wasn't a critter.
Look, there isn't any blood.
Why would I make that up?
Remember when you hid Dad's car
keys
and we couldn't find them
for a week and he got three
parking tickets
all because he wouldn't take you
to McDonald's?
We all know you hate Lemondrop
and Jeffrey.
And why couldn't you let Simon
have his own dumb room?
What's the big idea?
-HELEN: Mallory -Whoa.
-HELEN: Mallory -Whoa.
-Mom. -Oh.
(smoke detector beeping)
I'm not hungry anyway.
I'm not hungry anyway.
Wait, Mallory, just-- (exhales)
Look, we can go into town
and get some humane mousetraps
for Lemondrop and Jeffrey.
I'll help you find them.
I'll help you find them.
Promise.
Just make sure you're back
before noon, okay?
You have your first session with
Dr. Brauer this afternoon.
Right.
■ ■
(entry bell jingles)
Well, the hardware store guy
said that these
Well, the hardware store guy
said that these
catch-and-release traps are the
best, so
Come on, dude.
You don't really think that I
let
Lemondrop and Jeffrey out, do
you?
-Nope. -Simon.
Excuse me.
Dude, did you just see the way
that guy was staring at us?
Dude, did you just see the way
that guy was staring at us?
Yeah, we have that, uh, new car
smell.
Uh-huh. Yeah, new and un-white.
Okay. Stop thinking the worst of
everyone.
Okay. Stop thinking the worst of
everyone.
This place is nice, okay?
They got a firefly catching
contest tonight.
It's based on an old tradition
when people believed
fireflies were fairies, and if
you catch one,
it'll grant you a wish.
This town loves its old
folklore.
This town loves its old
folklore.
Look.
Someone even built secret fairy
doors all over Henson.
Someone even built secret fairy
doors all over Henson.
JARED: Hey
W-What's that circle thing?
It's nothing I know.
It's nothing I know.
JARED: I found that same symbol
on something Arthur Spiderwick
drew.
on something Arthur Spiderwick
drew.
Yeah, it was an ogre.
And it was kind of like those
animal books you love.
There was this-this weird
writing on it.
There was this-this weird
writing on it.
-But it wasn't English. -(Simon
chuckles)
There's over 7,000 languages.
You barely know one and
three-quarters.
You barely know one and
three-quarters.
(laughs)
Did you know that insane Aunt
Lucinda
actually believed that these
magical creatures were real?
actually believed that these
magical creatures were real?
Okay, listen, you don't have to
say "insane"
every time you say "Aunt
Lucinda."
Look, I know you think this
place is all innocent,
Look, I know you think this
place is all innocent,
but there's something weird
about this fairy stuff, okay?
The tiny rooms, Spiderwick.
The tiny rooms, Spiderwick.
Simon. Something about this
place feels dangerous.
(broom sweeping)
HELEN: Mallory?
Boys?
Anybody want to help?
Right. They're all gone.
Right. They're all gone.
(soft whooshing)
LUCINDA: Little Miss,
LUCINDA: Little Miss,
this is a terrifically important
lesson.
Manchineel tea is useful for
fighting ogres.
Manchineel tea is useful for
fighting ogres.
Mom said the apple is poison.
Not if you prepare it correctly.
Not if you prepare it correctly.
A full cup makes you turn
invisible.
(echoing): Just a few drops.
(echoing): Just a few drops.
Stir with your forefinger.
And then with your thumb tucked
and pinky all the way out
Drink.
Drink.
MELVINA: Are you crazy, Lucinda?
You could've killed her.
LUCINDA:I'm only
trying to protect her.
LUCINDA:I'm only
trying to protect her.
(doorbell rings)
Hi. Hi, I'm Tanner.
I just wanted to welcome you to
the neighborhood.
(chuckles) That's so nice.
(chuckles) That's so nice.
Um, I'm Helen.
I made you a whitefish
casserole.
It's a Midwestern delicacy.
It's a Midwestern delicacy.
I'm sure my kids will love it.
-Oh, they won't. -(both laugh)
It's really a magnificent home.
Spiderwick.
(chuckles) It's a bit of a
disaster.
Oh, the upkeep is overwhelming.
I'm a Realtor and I'll pay way
over market,
I'm a Realtor and I'll pay way
over market,
and I can get you into an
affordable condo downtown.
You'd appreciate the ethnic
vibe.
(forced chuckle) That is kind,
very,
(forced chuckle) That is kind,
very,
but we're going to give this a
go here.
-Sorry. -Don't apologize.
This is your family home.
This is your family home.
Now that you're here,
spacing on that banister is over
an inch.
spacing on that banister is over
an inch.
I'm a librarian, so compliance
is in my top three Pinterest
searches.
HOA standards. Grass height.
Fence maintenance.
HOA standards. Grass height.
Fence maintenance.
You get the drill.
Helping maintain a nice, clean
neighborhood.
Welcome to Henson.
Welcome to Henson.
(Helen chuckles softly)
(fencing foils clacking)
(fencing foils clacking)
(grunting)
VALENTINA: Halt.
VALENTINA: Halt.
Dismissed.
Has Mallory Grace arrived?
She's coming over.
She's coming over.
Is she staring, Bree?
She is staring, Maestro.
I wouldn't let not being able to
see
stop me from getting what I
want.
stop me from getting what I
want.
Would you?
Mallory Grace?
No. No, Maestro.
Good.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Show me.
Yeah.
Not with a blade.
With your mind.
Mental fencing.
Mental fencing.
It's how I focus and how I train
without sight.
Visualize the bout.
-If I go high sixth? -I-I'd
parry.
-I drop to midline. -Hard
riposte.
-Feint. Touch. Point. -I keep my
distance.
-Feint. Touch. Point. -I keep my
distance.
-Nullify the trap. -Feint.
-Parry. -Counter.
-Riposte. -Passata Sotto. Touch.
Point.
I cannot teach you, Mallory
Grace.
Why? Because I won?
Why? Because I won?
One score does not win a match.
Maestro, I've been training
since I was six.
Waking up at 3:00 a.m. for
endurance runs.
My lunge speed is 2.873 meters
per second. 2.873!
My lunge speed is 2.873 meters
per second. 2.873!
I mean, I've I've done
everything right.
I-I have plans. Scholarship to
Notre Dame.
I-I have plans. Scholarship to
Notre Dame.
Make the Olympic team, move to
Paris,
and open my own gym in the
Marais.
Solve et Coagula.
It's alchemy.
It's alchemy.
It means "dissolve and
coagulate."
Something must be broken down
before it can be built up again.
before it can be built up again.
You're too fixed.
All your plans are set in stone.
I can't unteach you from
yourself.
I can't unteach you from
yourself.
Your toughest opponent, Mallory
Grace,
Your toughest opponent, Mallory
Grace,
will always be Mallory Grace.
(retreating footsteps)
(sighs)
(sighs)
Mom, how is this guy any
different than Dr. Fox,
Dr. Woodworth, Dr. Kao,
or even that behavioral
therapist dude?
Dr. Brauer works in a group
setting
with other kids like you.
(quiet chatter)
No parents allowed, so you won't
self-edit.
No parents allowed, so you won't
self-edit.
I'm gonna go visit Aunt Lucinda.
All right? You'll text me right
after?
All right? You'll text me right
after?
Hey.
You got this.
Okay.
Okay.
(exhales softly)
(exhales softly)
Nice suit. Archive hues.
Nice suit. Archive hues.
Rolling the Michigan colorway,
son.
(slurps)
I'm Emiko. That's Hatcher.
HATCHER: Welcome to the group.
We're like a messed-up, heavily
medicated Avengers.
I'm Jared.
So, what's Dr. Brauer like?
Like store-brand vanilla yogurt.
This whole town lags.
Kids think denim jackets and
Crocs are on trend.
I like Crocs.
Duh. Me, too. But, like,
ironically.
Duh. Me, too. But, like,
ironically.
Salehe Bembury collabs with
Crocs.
Kid's a hype beast.
Well, I just bid on the RealReal
Well, I just bid on the RealReal
for a Gucci monogramouflage
jacket.
Those are like six grand.
I hacked .0002 cents
from every bank account at
Michigan Savings & Loan,
from every bank account at
Michigan Savings & Loan,
equal housing lender FDIC,
and stashed the loot into a
secret Swiss account,
only I forgot the password.
So Emiko is obvs a
pathological liar.
I have body dysmorphia and
generalized anxiety.
I have body dysmorphia and
generalized anxiety.
So, what's your differential
diagnosis?
Um, I'm not really diagnosed
yet.
Um, I'm not really diagnosed
yet.
EMIKO: Well, you must've done
something
to end up in dysfunctional
daycare.
(sighs) Well
They say I have oppositional
defiance disorder,
but I don't know.
You really are a Spiderwick.
What's that supposed to mean?
H-How'd you know I moved into
Spiderwick?
H-How'd you know I moved into
Spiderwick?
EMIKO: Everyone knows that
house.
Arthur Spiderwick decapitated
his brother
and blamed it on an ogre
that lives under the Claire
River Bridge.
No, i-it wasn't an ogre.
Spiderwick said a troll murdered
his brother.
Same dif.
Ogres and trolls are different
races.
Put it in your TED Talk, Mr.
Tolkien.
Did you know the Firefly
Festival
started after Spiderwick axed
his bro?
started after Spiderwick axed
his bro?
People believed his stories
about ogres and fairies.
Turns out crazy is infectious,
but it also runs in families.
I mean, you seem kosher, Jared,
but then again, so do most
serial killers.
(scoffs) Know what?
Your track suit's tragic.
Screw this.
Screw this.
(door opens)
You like my suit, right, Hatch?
(door closes)
(birds chirping)
Lucinda.
Lucinda.
It's Helen.
Little Miss?
ORDERLY: It's not you.
She's barely said a word since
she was admitted.
That was decades ago.
ORDERLY: I'll leave you two
alone.
Nice room.
Nice room.
Good light. Comfortable.
Although, these nurses
Although, these nurses
have no idea what to do with
your hair.
(chuckles softly)
Mom sends her love.
Mom sends her love.
(chair creaking)
I'm sorry it's been so long.
I've missed you.
I always felt like you were the
only one
I always felt like you were the
only one
who really listened to me.
I, uh, I have three kids now.
I, uh, I have three kids now.
Can't wait for you to meet them.
Mallory is 16, and she's a
fighter.
(chuckles)
And the twins,
Simon, he's just the purest.
And Jared, Jared is fearless,
mischievous
And Jared, Jared is fearless,
mischievous
and impossible.
and impossible.
I do what I can to help him.
Therapy, research.
Therapy, research.
And, unfortunately, divorce.
Richard said he didn't want to
do it anymore.
Richard said he didn't want to
do it anymore.
Said he didn't feel like he was
a good dad.
Especially with Jared.
He said that I made him feel
small.
And he was done, so he quit.
And he was done, so he quit.
(chuckles)
So I'm hitting reset.
So I'm hitting reset.
I don't know, maybe I'll even go
on a date, again.
I don't know, maybe I'll even go
on a date, again.
Someday.
But moving to Spiderwick, it's
just--
LUCINDA: Leave. Leave.
LUCINDA: Leave. Leave.
Little Miss, you must leave.
Spiderwick is dangerous.
It's all real.
It's all real.
The fairies and hags and
unicorns
Thimbletack and Mulgarath.
Mulgarath wants the Field Guide.
Mulgarath will get you!
Mulga-- You have got to go!
-We all m-must go! -It's okay.
-Lucinda, you're okay. -We all
must go!
-Little Miss, leave! -It's okay,
Lucinda.
-(roaring) -Leave!
-(roaring) -Leave!
SALESWOMAN: The elusive dragon
egg.
We procured this from a local
estate.
We procured this from a local
estate.
It's coated in an opaline enamel
and encrusted with diamonds.
Strangely, no one's figured out
how to open the egg
to discover what Fabergé hid
inside.
Ah, ah.
Ah, ah.
We touch with our eyes, little
girl.
(growls softly)
But there is indeed something
contained
within its impenetrable shell,
right?
Yes.
Unfortunately,
the enamel has minerals that
make X-rays unreadable.
So, it's a mystery.
How much for the egg?
Perhaps I could show you another
piece?
We have some cucumber-persimmon
water if you're thirsty,
We have some cucumber-persimmon
water if you're thirsty,
or the most scrummy petit fours
you've ever tasted.
or the most scrummy petit fours
you've ever tasted.
DORIAN: Darling, didn't you say
you were feeling hungry?
-Yes, Daddy. -(gasps)
(crunching)
Mm.
(crunching)
(crunching)
What is that?
It's a mystery.
(grandfather clock chiming)
(grandfather clock chiming)
Smells like turtle vomit.
I think that's Havarti.
It's a local delicacy.
And the stove is broken, so
And the stove is broken, so
(thudding)
That's the noise.
I told you, there's a critter
inside the wall.
SIMON: Please stop with this
"critter is inside of the wall."
-It's an animal -It's a trash
panda.
-Trash panda? -Yes.
It's an old house. What do you
expect?
Probably some mutated racoon or
something.
-Stop fighting, for real. -Shut
up, Mallory.
-Who asked you? -Don't tell me
to shut up.
'Cause there'd be a mutated
racoon in our wall,
-Jared, okay? -(crashing,
crackling)
MALLORY: Mom, you good?
Well, we got to rebuild anyway.
So, let's do this.
("Welcome to the Terrordome" by
Public Enemy playing)
("Welcome to the Terrordome" by
Public Enemy playing)
■I got so much trouble
on my mind ■
Come on, grab something.
It's right behind this wall.
It's right behind this wall.
-JARED: Let's do this. -SIMON:
Let's go.
HELEN: Did you hear that? It's
in here.
JARED: Okay. (laughs)
JARED: Okay. (laughs)
(grunting, laughing)
HELEN: Keep going!
(crashing)
(crashing)
■My home is your home ■
■But welcometo the
Terrordome ■
HELEN: Ew
HELEN: Ew
(music fades)
JARED: Whoa
Gnarly mousetrap.
Lemondrop and Jeffrey?
Lemondrop and Jeffrey?
No, these are too desiccated.
What the hell is this?
What the hell is this?
SIMON: It's a dumbwaiter.
A tiny elevator that takes food
between floors.
But I don't know why it was
covered up.
I'm talking about the
mouse-oleum.
(Jared chuckles)
Let's see where it goes.
No. No, no, no.
No. No, no, no.
No way. This is too dangerous.
You guys, clean this up.
Mal, can you clear the table
please?
Mal, can you clear the table
please?
I need to call the repairman, an
exterminator,
a contractor, a chiropractor
a contractor, a chiropractor
Come on, we have to go up there.
Uh, I I have to clear the
table.
Uh, I I have to clear the
table.
Dude, I bet there's some
weird Spiderwick death cult
stuff up there.
weird Spiderwick death cult
stuff up there.
Mom said not to go.
Bring snacks.
Jared, wait.
Jared!
Jared, I said don't go!
The hell is wrong with you, man?
Can't you for once just leave it
alone?
Can't you for once just leave it
alone?
Don't you want to find out
what's up there?
I want you to stop.
I am so sick of defending you,
Jared.
At school, at the stupid gas
station,
with Lemondrop and Jeffrey.
I didn't do anything to them.
What do I get for helping you?
What do I get for helping you?
I had to leave everything I
loved, okay?
My friends, our house, Dad.
(cheerful music plays)
(cheerful music plays)
(chatter, laughter)
(lively chatter)
(lively chatter)
(firefly chittering)
■ ■
■ ■
(girls laughing)
(firefly tinkling against glass)
(squeaks)
(gasps)
(laughing)
(phone buzzing)
(thudding)
(distant rattling)
(distant rattling)
■ ■
Whoa.
What is this place?
(pattering footfalls)
Lemondrop? Jeffrey?
Lemondrop? Jeffrey?
■ ■
(rustling)
So, you're Arthur Spiderwick.
(snarling)
(hissing, snarling)
Boo!
(both screaming)
(laughing)
-(indistinct chatter) -JARED:
Mom! Mom!
In here!
-I-I saw -HELEN: What?
-I-I saw -HELEN: What?
I-I don't know what.
Lucinda was telling the truth.
Arthur knew.
These-these creatures are real!
These-these creatures are real!
-Someone's starved for
attention. -I know what I saw!
Hey, please calm down, sweetie.
We had to do what Lucina said.
We have to get out of here now!
We had to do what Lucina said.
We have to get out of here now!
Huh.
You ditched therapy?
You ditched therapy?
Because how would you know what
Lucinda said
-if you were with Dr. Brauer--
-I was being inconsiderate
and in doing so, I diminish my
own dignity.
-Whatever! -Jared,
I've tried so hard with you.
Didn't you hear what I just
said?
These creatures are real!
These creatures are real!
Come on. (stammers) I'll show
you.
Uh
I am so done.
Done!
Done!
We came here to see Dr. Brauer,
and that's what we're gonna do!
-Let's go. -Mom. Mom.
-Let's go. -Mom. Mom.
■Everybody ■
■Needs a friend ■
Will it grow?
We're gonna need the Field Guide
to know how to raise
We're gonna need the Field Guide
to know how to raise
this creature from a sapling
idea into a grim endeavor.
But I do recall Spiderwick
saying that it needs protein.
■'Cause I knowjust
what you ■
■'Cause I knowjust
what you ■
(burbling)
(burbling)
(growls)
■When you need me ■
(both exhale)
(burbling)
(burbling)
(knocking at door)
Did she call the police?
Did she call the police?
Maybe they'll go away.
(knocking continues)
Here. Just in case.
■ ■
■ ■
Hi, Dr. Brauer.
Well, I'm so glad you came.
■Do you see it too? ■
■I don't know what to do
■
■I don't know what to do
■
■Call me on the
telephone ■
■Because I'm feeling
all alone ■
■Because I'm feeling
all alone ■
■So where you wanna go?
■
■We can hit the road ■
■We can hit the road ■
■We canhit the
road ■
■We'll find the sun out
there ■
■No need to run out
there ■
■No need to run out
there ■
■Another fire, I'm not
afraid ■
■Another fire, I'm not
afraid ■
■To see new worlds
come off the page ■
■I'm not a hero but I can
see ■
■I'm not a hero but I can
see ■
■There's something
specialin you and me
■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■And no one gets it
like you do ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■And no one gets me
like you do ■
■Ooh ■
■Ooh-ooh ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■And no one gets it
like you do ■
■And no one gets it
like you do ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■And no one gets me
like you do. ■
■And no one gets me
like you do. ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
Welcome to Spiderwick.
I know this house is weird and
moldy,
but it's full of secrets
and surprises.
but it's full of secrets
and surprises.
DORIAN:Prepare
for The Spiderwick
Chronicles.
This town is full of stories.
Some are darker than others.
This town is full of stories.
Some are darker than others.
JARED:I think our
great-great-grandpa
Arthur Spiderwick
discovered that magical
creatures are real.
(creature sneezes)
My father catalogued each and
every creature
of the invisible world.
-There's this ogre, Mulgarath.
-(snarling)
JARED:He wants
Great-Grandpa
Spiderwick's Field Guide
-so he can kill everyone.
-(hissing)
You want something more.
I'm an ogre. I want everything
more.
-LUCINDA:Find the pages.
-(creature sneezes)
Put Spiderwick's Field
Guideback together.
You have to save everyone.
You have to save everyone.
(fire whooshing)
Believe.
(crickets chirping)
■ ■
■ ■
NARRATOR:Dear
viewer
Like all fairy tales,
it begins, "Once upon a
time"
Like all fairy tales,
it begins, "Once upon a
time"
Our time
Our time
-is now. -(croaking)
■ ■
■ ■
(low snarling)
DORIAN: Where's my daughter?
Where's my daughter?!
Where's my daughter?!
(wood thuds, creaks)
(creature snarls)
DORIAN: I did what you wanted.
The Grace family is coming.
Living at the old Spiderwick
Estate.
Living at the old Spiderwick
Estate.
So please
give me my daughter back.
(growling)
(panting)
Daddy!
Oh, Calliope.
Oh, Calliope.
-I'm so -I'm all right.
I just want to go home.
Oh, God.
Y-You're shorter.
Y-You're shorter.
An inch.
Less, but shorter.
Less, but shorter.
The scar from when you took the
Shrinky Dink
out of the toaster oven too
quickly, it's
out of the toaster oven too
quickly, it's
it's on the wrong cheek.
It was on the left. Not the
right.
It was on the left. Not the
right.
Stop scaring me.
Which Shrinky Dink was it?
-I don't remember. -Try,
princess!
SpongeBob.
It was SpongeBob, right?
It was SpongeBob, right?
My Calliope would never let me
call her "princess."
My Calliope would never let me
call her "princess."
She'd think it was too
diminutive.
Who are you?
Wrong question.
-(roaring) -(screams)
(crunching)
(crunching)
The troll is eating
as you planned.
(creature snarling)
(creature snarling)
(growling)
My dread Lord Mulgarath.
Shh
Shh
When attired in this frock,
I believe it would benefit our
righteous cause
I believe it would benefit our
righteous cause
to refer to this flesh as
Daddy.
-Daddy. -Yeah.
-Daddy. -Yeah.
We have much to do.
The Grace family is coming.
Arthur Spiderwick's Field Guide
will soon be ours.
(croaks)
(passing truck horn blares)
SIMON: Okay, buddy.
SIMON: Okay, buddy.
Who's hungry? (clicks tongue)
Doesn't this gross you out?
Feeding a windshield buffet to
your mice.
Lemondrop and Jeffrey are
starving.
Kids, can I get some help,
please?
MALLORY: Yeah. Coming.
HELEN: We've got to smoosh this
luggage in.
HELEN: We've got to smoosh this
luggage in.
Careful. Don't squish that bag.
Okay. All right.
Okay. All right.
Okay, I want to get there before
the moving truck.
-Where's your brother? -We were
just in the mini-mart.
You think Jared's getting into
trouble, like always?
Give him a break, you guys.
We're all here to support your
brother.
And we're moving to Michigan to
help him get
And we're moving to Michigan to
help him get
the psychiatric help he needs,
so just be kind.
■ ■
■ ■
-(door chimes) -HELEN: Hurry up.
We've been waiting.
-Where were you? -I was being
inconsiderate, and in doing so,
I diminish my own dignity.
But I was using the gas station
Wi-Fi to download a podcast
But I was using the gas station
Wi-Fi to download a podcast
so Mallory and I won't fight
over music.
-(door chimes) -Hey! Hey, you.
I saw that.
I saw that.
Saw what? What happened?
I saw him steal a pack of gum.
JARED: W-What?
What? No, I didn't.
Okay, wait, wait. Look, he's not
lying.
All right? I promise.
You know Jared hates gum.
It's true.
It's true.
No breath freshener of any kind,
tragically.
He wouldn't take it. Swear.
Look.
See? He doesn't have it.
Okay.
Okay.
Sorry.
Come on, bring it in, bring it
in.
We're not gonna let that ruin
our move.
This is gonna be great.
Grace family rule number one?
Grace family rule number one?
ALL: Don't be d-bags.
HELEN: Let's do this!
■Boogie jive and rap is
lifewhere I'm from ■
■Boogie jive and rap is
lifewhere I'm from ■
■Where I'm from, Ahmed
playwith Izzy where I'm
from ■
■Where I'm from, it be
likerun your coat
black ■
■Jupiter, keepsher
fat beats by the pack ■
■Jupiter, keepsher
fat beats by the pack ■
■Where I'm from,
nappy hair is life ■
■We be reading Marx
where I'm from ■
■The kids be rockin'
Clarkswhere I'm from
■
■You turn around your
cap,you talk over a
beat ■
■And dig some sounds
boomin'out a Jeep, where
I'm from ■
(speaking secret twin language)
■Where I'm from, the
beatsis infinite where
I'm from ■
■Where I'm from, the
beatsis infinite where
I'm from ■
■Voodoo, ashubani ■
Please stop with the dumb twin
language.
I'm trying to concentrate.
■On vibes, we freak
them universal beats ■
■On vibes, we freak
them universal beats ■
■You find it a the spot you
hitat ends of every
week ■
■We twist, exists,to
spin the maddest hits ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
(vehicle doors closing)
It's big.
It's a Victorian.
It's a Victorian.
It's a piece of crap.
Yep. It's a big piece of
Victorian crap.
Yep. It's a big piece of
Victorian crap.
But it's ours.
It's been in our family for
generations.
JARED: It has very "haunted
plantation
with tortured ghost ancestors"
vibes.
No. The North had redlining, not
plantations.
No. The North had redlining, not
plantations.
This isn't North, Mallory. This
is Michigan.
Restaurants here serve potato
salad
with raisins and militia
memberships.
-(keys jingling) -HELEN: Okay.
(gears clacking)
(gasps)
Welcome to Spiderwick.
(door creaks)
■ ■
(door closes)
The outside is inside.
Your great-grandpa Arthur
planted this tree.
It's called a manchineel tree.
It's called a manchineel tree.
They call the fruit death
apples.
Indigenous people used them to
ward off evil spirits.
Indigenous people used them to
ward off evil spirits.
They're poison, so if you see an
apple growing, toss it.
They're poison, so if you see an
apple growing, toss it.
■ ■
There's two kitchens.
This mini-oven works because
why?
Cooking mini-cocktail wieners,
duh.
HELEN: Arthur was an eccentric,
HELEN: Arthur was an eccentric,
and an artist, and an armchair
herpetologist
-Ew. -That means he studied
reptiles.
-And an entomologist. -That
means he studied insects.
I don't need you to translate
for me, Simon.
I'm not stupid.
I'm not stupid.
-Debatable. -JARED: Huh.
Well, at least I didn't ask
Athena Nguyen
how to pluck my unibrow hair.
You went through my DMs? I am so
gonna end you!
You went through my DMs? I am so
gonna end you!
JARED: You're gonna have to
catch me first.
MALLORY: Oh, yeah, you better
pray I don't.
MALLORY: Oh, yeah, you better
pray I don't.
HELEN: I know this house is
weird and moldy,
but I adored playing here when I
was a kid.
but I adored playing here when I
was a kid.
It's full of secrets and
surprises.
And the woods, Simon,
And the woods, Simon,
you can't imagine the animals,
the plants.
Stop selling sunshine.
This is a house with walls and
doors and mushrooms.
This is a house with walls and
doors and mushrooms.
I know this is hard.
Divorce and your dad staying in
Brooklyn.
But since your Great-Aunt
Lucinda is
Nuttier than a squirrel on
molly?
HELEN: in a hospital, we can
live here.
HELEN: in a hospital, we can
live here.
Once we clean this up, this'll
be great.
Once we clean this up, this'll
be great.
And this is a good time for a
new beginning.
Summer break. Time to get
settled before school.
And I know we can all use a
fresh start.
-(horn honks outside) -HELEN:
That's the moving truck.
All right. Come on, let's go.
All right. Come on, let's go.
("Magic" by The Linda Lindas
playing)
■If I was invisible ■
■No one would judge me
for wanting to be by
myself ■
■But I'm already
invisible enough ■
■But I'm already
invisible enough ■
■Without anybody else's
help ■
■If I could go back in
time ■
■If I could go back in
time ■
■And just changethat
one thing ■
■Maybe now I'd be
different ■
■Maybe now I'd be
different ■
■But part of mewould
always be missing ■
■What if magic was real?
■
■What if magic was real?
■
■What if magic revealed
■
■Something nobody would
ever ■
■Wish upon themselves
or anybody else ■
■Maybe reality is
better. ■
■Maybe reality is
better. ■
Must've been Lucinda's room.
She was literally scratching at
the walls.
Those are too deep to be made by
a someone.
Those are too deep to be made by
a someone.
It was probably a something.
Some paint, an exorcism,
this could be a good room for
us, man.
In Brooklyn, we shared a room
because we had to.
And it wasn't even a room.
It was a converted pantry
that smelled like bouillon cubes
and compromise.
You know, now,
we can finally have our own
rooms.
we can finally have our own
rooms.
Is this about the gum thing?
-No. It's not about the gum.
-What? So you need privacy
-No. It's not about the gum.
-What? So you need privacy
for some single player gaming?
-Jared. Gross. No. -(chuckles)
Hey, you hate Lemondrop and
Jeffrey.
You always complain how they
keep you awake.
Now they don't have to.
Okay, but we haven't spent a
night apart
Okay, but we haven't spent a
night apart
since Mark Novom's sleepover
party that I wasn't invited to,
and Dad took you home because
you couldn't fall asleep
without me.
without me.
Okay.
Okay. You're right.
Okay. You're right.
I would probably creep into your
bed at night
when I get scared.
And thanks to you,
And thanks to you,
it's not like Dad could come
help us anymore, anyway.
(birds chirping)
(insects buzzing)
(insects buzzing)
■ ■
Mm. Nice portrait.
Those Spiderwick genes are
strong.
Those Spiderwick genes are
strong.
The both of you.
Some DNA is all we have in
common.
Some DNA is all we have in
common.
And we can wear the same pants.
Simon is nice and funny,
Simon is nice and funny,
he knows what a herpetologist
is.
Everyone loves Simon.
Everyone hates me.
Everyone hates me.
It's my fault we had to move
here.
It's my fault we had to move
here.
(sighs)
You've been going through a hard
time for a while now,
and we both know it's not
getting better.
and we both know it's not
getting better.
I don't know why I do the stupid
things I do.
I just do.
I just do.
Okay, I said I was sorry about
the thing at school.
I found a psychiatrist in
Henson.
I found a psychiatrist in
Henson.
Dr. Brauer.
He's been analyzing your Aunt
Lucinda's case.
Institutionalized Aunt Lucinda?
Institutionalized Aunt Lucinda?
Lucinda is my favorite person
ever.
I've told you all her stories
about ogres
and wood elves and her invisible
little boggart friend,
Thimbletack.
Thimbletack.
But then she believed her
stories were true.
She thought Thimbletack was
real?
Dr. Brauer is a thoughtful
Dr. Brauer is a thoughtful
and highly respected
psychiatrist.
He'll help us figure out what's
going on
inside that incredible head of
yours.
inside that incredible head of
yours.
See?
So itis my fault we're
here.
Having mental health issues
isn't a fault.
Having mental health issues
isn't a fault.
It's just how you were made.
Yeah, but
I wish you made me more like
Simon.
Come here.
Come here.
(sharp exhale)
All right. Come on, dinner's
ready.
(kisses) Come on.
(growling)
(growling)
(crickets chirping)
(owl hooting)
(thud echoes nearby)
Simon?
Did you hear that?
Mom?
Mom?
Mallory, is that you?
(thudding continues)
(thudding continues)
(thudding continues)
(floorboards creaking)
(soft jingling)
(floorboards creaking)
(floorboards creaking)
Blood?
(glass shatters)
"A. Spiderwick."
"A. Spiderwick."
Arthur Spiderwick?
(low growling)
(low growling)
(growling)
Welcome to our "people" house.
Welcome to our "people" house.
(hissing)
(hissing)
(meows)
So gross. Pets.
So gross. Pets.
CFC air conditioning left on.
Triple-wall cardboard boxes with
bubble wrap
Triple-wall cardboard boxes with
bubble wrap
and packing tape used to ship
two double-A batteries and a USB
cord.
The world would be a better
place without humans.
The world would be a better
place without humans.
That's why I'm going to consume
them.
And I am starving.
(rhythmic knock at door)
Hi. It's Stacy.
Varnow. From next door.
Dinner's here.
Dinner's here.
STACY: I saw you pull up.
My cat Goneril hasn't come home
and you left your bedroom window
open.
Uh, uh, yeah. Hi, Stacy.
-STACY: Can I come in? -CALLIOPE
(hushed): Yes.
No.
Yes.
No. It's too soon for our plan.
You know you want a taste of her
warm blood on your tongue.
You know you want a taste of her
warm blood on your tongue.
(growls)
STACY: I think I just heard her.
Goneril? Is that you? It's
Mommy.
(quietly): No.
(louder): Now's not a good time.
We'll keep an eye out.
Thanks, Stacy.
STACY: Okay. Thanks for
checking.
Goneril?
Hey, I'm hungry, too.
Hey, I'm hungry, too.
You promised me death.
A whole town.
Everyone?
I found the egg.
With that, I'll be able to
devour
every last soul in Henson
and you will get the death that
sustains you,
my loyal fetch.
But if you require a snack
(meows)
(crackling)
(Goneril yowling)
(Goneril yowling)
■Rescue me ■
■Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ■
■Rescue me ■
■Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ■
■Rescue me ■
SIMON: Where could they be?
-HELEN: Check the cabinet.
-JARED: Check under there.
-SIMON: Are you kidding me? -■
Rescue me. ■
JARED: No, no, look under the
sink.
HELEN: Why would they be in the
sink?
-(overlapping chatter) -Why are
we freaking out?
Lemondrop and Jeffrey are
missing!
JARED: I heard something in the
house.
JARED: I heard something in the
house.
A possum I think. Maybe it ate
them.
Maybe it was Lemondrop and
Jeffrey.
JARED: No, no, it was bigger.
Way.
Probably the thing that made
those scratch marks.
Probably the thing that made
those scratch marks.
I stabbed it with Mal's sword.
You touched my gear?!
-(groans loudly) -JARED: What?
-I was trying to help. -Why
didn't you wake me up?
-You wouldn't. -You broke my
sword!
-It was an accident. -MALLORY:
Accident on purpose.
-It was an accident. -MALLORY:
Accident on purpose.
You know I have a fencing tryout
with the maestro today, okay?
That's important. She's trained
elite champions.
That's important. She's trained
elite champions.
Okay, okay. Just--
I was being inconsiderate, and
in doing so,
-I diminish my own dignity.
-Shut up, Jared! Shut up.
I bet there wasn't a critter.
Look, there isn't any blood.
Why would I make that up?
Remember when you hid Dad's car
keys
and we couldn't find them
for a week and he got three
parking tickets
all because he wouldn't take you
to McDonald's?
We all know you hate Lemondrop
and Jeffrey.
And why couldn't you let Simon
have his own dumb room?
What's the big idea?
-HELEN: Mallory -Whoa.
-HELEN: Mallory -Whoa.
-Mom. -Oh.
(smoke detector beeping)
I'm not hungry anyway.
I'm not hungry anyway.
Wait, Mallory, just-- (exhales)
Look, we can go into town
and get some humane mousetraps
for Lemondrop and Jeffrey.
I'll help you find them.
I'll help you find them.
Promise.
Just make sure you're back
before noon, okay?
You have your first session with
Dr. Brauer this afternoon.
Right.
■ ■
(entry bell jingles)
Well, the hardware store guy
said that these
Well, the hardware store guy
said that these
catch-and-release traps are the
best, so
Come on, dude.
You don't really think that I
let
Lemondrop and Jeffrey out, do
you?
-Nope. -Simon.
Excuse me.
Dude, did you just see the way
that guy was staring at us?
Dude, did you just see the way
that guy was staring at us?
Yeah, we have that, uh, new car
smell.
Uh-huh. Yeah, new and un-white.
Okay. Stop thinking the worst of
everyone.
Okay. Stop thinking the worst of
everyone.
This place is nice, okay?
They got a firefly catching
contest tonight.
It's based on an old tradition
when people believed
fireflies were fairies, and if
you catch one,
it'll grant you a wish.
This town loves its old
folklore.
This town loves its old
folklore.
Look.
Someone even built secret fairy
doors all over Henson.
Someone even built secret fairy
doors all over Henson.
JARED: Hey
W-What's that circle thing?
It's nothing I know.
It's nothing I know.
JARED: I found that same symbol
on something Arthur Spiderwick
drew.
on something Arthur Spiderwick
drew.
Yeah, it was an ogre.
And it was kind of like those
animal books you love.
There was this-this weird
writing on it.
There was this-this weird
writing on it.
-But it wasn't English. -(Simon
chuckles)
There's over 7,000 languages.
You barely know one and
three-quarters.
You barely know one and
three-quarters.
(laughs)
Did you know that insane Aunt
Lucinda
actually believed that these
magical creatures were real?
actually believed that these
magical creatures were real?
Okay, listen, you don't have to
say "insane"
every time you say "Aunt
Lucinda."
Look, I know you think this
place is all innocent,
Look, I know you think this
place is all innocent,
but there's something weird
about this fairy stuff, okay?
The tiny rooms, Spiderwick.
The tiny rooms, Spiderwick.
Simon. Something about this
place feels dangerous.
(broom sweeping)
HELEN: Mallory?
Boys?
Anybody want to help?
Right. They're all gone.
Right. They're all gone.
(soft whooshing)
LUCINDA: Little Miss,
LUCINDA: Little Miss,
this is a terrifically important
lesson.
Manchineel tea is useful for
fighting ogres.
Manchineel tea is useful for
fighting ogres.
Mom said the apple is poison.
Not if you prepare it correctly.
Not if you prepare it correctly.
A full cup makes you turn
invisible.
(echoing): Just a few drops.
(echoing): Just a few drops.
Stir with your forefinger.
And then with your thumb tucked
and pinky all the way out
Drink.
Drink.
MELVINA: Are you crazy, Lucinda?
You could've killed her.
LUCINDA:I'm only
trying to protect her.
LUCINDA:I'm only
trying to protect her.
(doorbell rings)
Hi. Hi, I'm Tanner.
I just wanted to welcome you to
the neighborhood.
(chuckles) That's so nice.
(chuckles) That's so nice.
Um, I'm Helen.
I made you a whitefish
casserole.
It's a Midwestern delicacy.
It's a Midwestern delicacy.
I'm sure my kids will love it.
-Oh, they won't. -(both laugh)
It's really a magnificent home.
Spiderwick.
(chuckles) It's a bit of a
disaster.
Oh, the upkeep is overwhelming.
I'm a Realtor and I'll pay way
over market,
I'm a Realtor and I'll pay way
over market,
and I can get you into an
affordable condo downtown.
You'd appreciate the ethnic
vibe.
(forced chuckle) That is kind,
very,
(forced chuckle) That is kind,
very,
but we're going to give this a
go here.
-Sorry. -Don't apologize.
This is your family home.
This is your family home.
Now that you're here,
spacing on that banister is over
an inch.
spacing on that banister is over
an inch.
I'm a librarian, so compliance
is in my top three Pinterest
searches.
HOA standards. Grass height.
Fence maintenance.
HOA standards. Grass height.
Fence maintenance.
You get the drill.
Helping maintain a nice, clean
neighborhood.
Welcome to Henson.
Welcome to Henson.
(Helen chuckles softly)
(fencing foils clacking)
(fencing foils clacking)
(grunting)
VALENTINA: Halt.
VALENTINA: Halt.
Dismissed.
Has Mallory Grace arrived?
She's coming over.
She's coming over.
Is she staring, Bree?
She is staring, Maestro.
I wouldn't let not being able to
see
stop me from getting what I
want.
stop me from getting what I
want.
Would you?
Mallory Grace?
No. No, Maestro.
Good.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Show me.
Yeah.
Not with a blade.
With your mind.
Mental fencing.
Mental fencing.
It's how I focus and how I train
without sight.
Visualize the bout.
-If I go high sixth? -I-I'd
parry.
-I drop to midline. -Hard
riposte.
-Feint. Touch. Point. -I keep my
distance.
-Feint. Touch. Point. -I keep my
distance.
-Nullify the trap. -Feint.
-Parry. -Counter.
-Riposte. -Passata Sotto. Touch.
Point.
I cannot teach you, Mallory
Grace.
Why? Because I won?
Why? Because I won?
One score does not win a match.
Maestro, I've been training
since I was six.
Waking up at 3:00 a.m. for
endurance runs.
My lunge speed is 2.873 meters
per second. 2.873!
My lunge speed is 2.873 meters
per second. 2.873!
I mean, I've I've done
everything right.
I-I have plans. Scholarship to
Notre Dame.
I-I have plans. Scholarship to
Notre Dame.
Make the Olympic team, move to
Paris,
and open my own gym in the
Marais.
Solve et Coagula.
It's alchemy.
It's alchemy.
It means "dissolve and
coagulate."
Something must be broken down
before it can be built up again.
before it can be built up again.
You're too fixed.
All your plans are set in stone.
I can't unteach you from
yourself.
I can't unteach you from
yourself.
Your toughest opponent, Mallory
Grace,
Your toughest opponent, Mallory
Grace,
will always be Mallory Grace.
(retreating footsteps)
(sighs)
(sighs)
Mom, how is this guy any
different than Dr. Fox,
Dr. Woodworth, Dr. Kao,
or even that behavioral
therapist dude?
Dr. Brauer works in a group
setting
with other kids like you.
(quiet chatter)
No parents allowed, so you won't
self-edit.
No parents allowed, so you won't
self-edit.
I'm gonna go visit Aunt Lucinda.
All right? You'll text me right
after?
All right? You'll text me right
after?
Hey.
You got this.
Okay.
Okay.
(exhales softly)
(exhales softly)
Nice suit. Archive hues.
Nice suit. Archive hues.
Rolling the Michigan colorway,
son.
(slurps)
I'm Emiko. That's Hatcher.
HATCHER: Welcome to the group.
We're like a messed-up, heavily
medicated Avengers.
I'm Jared.
So, what's Dr. Brauer like?
Like store-brand vanilla yogurt.
This whole town lags.
Kids think denim jackets and
Crocs are on trend.
I like Crocs.
Duh. Me, too. But, like,
ironically.
Duh. Me, too. But, like,
ironically.
Salehe Bembury collabs with
Crocs.
Kid's a hype beast.
Well, I just bid on the RealReal
Well, I just bid on the RealReal
for a Gucci monogramouflage
jacket.
Those are like six grand.
I hacked .0002 cents
from every bank account at
Michigan Savings & Loan,
from every bank account at
Michigan Savings & Loan,
equal housing lender FDIC,
and stashed the loot into a
secret Swiss account,
only I forgot the password.
So Emiko is obvs a
pathological liar.
I have body dysmorphia and
generalized anxiety.
I have body dysmorphia and
generalized anxiety.
So, what's your differential
diagnosis?
Um, I'm not really diagnosed
yet.
Um, I'm not really diagnosed
yet.
EMIKO: Well, you must've done
something
to end up in dysfunctional
daycare.
(sighs) Well
They say I have oppositional
defiance disorder,
but I don't know.
You really are a Spiderwick.
What's that supposed to mean?
H-How'd you know I moved into
Spiderwick?
H-How'd you know I moved into
Spiderwick?
EMIKO: Everyone knows that
house.
Arthur Spiderwick decapitated
his brother
and blamed it on an ogre
that lives under the Claire
River Bridge.
No, i-it wasn't an ogre.
Spiderwick said a troll murdered
his brother.
Same dif.
Ogres and trolls are different
races.
Put it in your TED Talk, Mr.
Tolkien.
Did you know the Firefly
Festival
started after Spiderwick axed
his bro?
started after Spiderwick axed
his bro?
People believed his stories
about ogres and fairies.
Turns out crazy is infectious,
but it also runs in families.
I mean, you seem kosher, Jared,
but then again, so do most
serial killers.
(scoffs) Know what?
Your track suit's tragic.
Screw this.
Screw this.
(door opens)
You like my suit, right, Hatch?
(door closes)
(birds chirping)
Lucinda.
Lucinda.
It's Helen.
Little Miss?
ORDERLY: It's not you.
She's barely said a word since
she was admitted.
That was decades ago.
ORDERLY: I'll leave you two
alone.
Nice room.
Nice room.
Good light. Comfortable.
Although, these nurses
Although, these nurses
have no idea what to do with
your hair.
(chuckles softly)
Mom sends her love.
Mom sends her love.
(chair creaking)
I'm sorry it's been so long.
I've missed you.
I always felt like you were the
only one
I always felt like you were the
only one
who really listened to me.
I, uh, I have three kids now.
I, uh, I have three kids now.
Can't wait for you to meet them.
Mallory is 16, and she's a
fighter.
(chuckles)
And the twins,
Simon, he's just the purest.
And Jared, Jared is fearless,
mischievous
And Jared, Jared is fearless,
mischievous
and impossible.
and impossible.
I do what I can to help him.
Therapy, research.
Therapy, research.
And, unfortunately, divorce.
Richard said he didn't want to
do it anymore.
Richard said he didn't want to
do it anymore.
Said he didn't feel like he was
a good dad.
Especially with Jared.
He said that I made him feel
small.
And he was done, so he quit.
And he was done, so he quit.
(chuckles)
So I'm hitting reset.
So I'm hitting reset.
I don't know, maybe I'll even go
on a date, again.
I don't know, maybe I'll even go
on a date, again.
Someday.
But moving to Spiderwick, it's
just--
LUCINDA: Leave. Leave.
LUCINDA: Leave. Leave.
Little Miss, you must leave.
Spiderwick is dangerous.
It's all real.
It's all real.
The fairies and hags and
unicorns
Thimbletack and Mulgarath.
Mulgarath wants the Field Guide.
Mulgarath will get you!
Mulga-- You have got to go!
-We all m-must go! -It's okay.
-Lucinda, you're okay. -We all
must go!
-Little Miss, leave! -It's okay,
Lucinda.
-(roaring) -Leave!
-(roaring) -Leave!
SALESWOMAN: The elusive dragon
egg.
We procured this from a local
estate.
We procured this from a local
estate.
It's coated in an opaline enamel
and encrusted with diamonds.
Strangely, no one's figured out
how to open the egg
to discover what Fabergé hid
inside.
Ah, ah.
Ah, ah.
We touch with our eyes, little
girl.
(growls softly)
But there is indeed something
contained
within its impenetrable shell,
right?
Yes.
Unfortunately,
the enamel has minerals that
make X-rays unreadable.
So, it's a mystery.
How much for the egg?
Perhaps I could show you another
piece?
We have some cucumber-persimmon
water if you're thirsty,
We have some cucumber-persimmon
water if you're thirsty,
or the most scrummy petit fours
you've ever tasted.
or the most scrummy petit fours
you've ever tasted.
DORIAN: Darling, didn't you say
you were feeling hungry?
-Yes, Daddy. -(gasps)
(crunching)
Mm.
(crunching)
(crunching)
What is that?
It's a mystery.
(grandfather clock chiming)
(grandfather clock chiming)
Smells like turtle vomit.
I think that's Havarti.
It's a local delicacy.
And the stove is broken, so
And the stove is broken, so
(thudding)
That's the noise.
I told you, there's a critter
inside the wall.
SIMON: Please stop with this
"critter is inside of the wall."
-It's an animal -It's a trash
panda.
-Trash panda? -Yes.
It's an old house. What do you
expect?
Probably some mutated racoon or
something.
-Stop fighting, for real. -Shut
up, Mallory.
-Who asked you? -Don't tell me
to shut up.
'Cause there'd be a mutated
racoon in our wall,
-Jared, okay? -(crashing,
crackling)
MALLORY: Mom, you good?
Well, we got to rebuild anyway.
So, let's do this.
("Welcome to the Terrordome" by
Public Enemy playing)
("Welcome to the Terrordome" by
Public Enemy playing)
■I got so much trouble
on my mind ■
Come on, grab something.
It's right behind this wall.
It's right behind this wall.
-JARED: Let's do this. -SIMON:
Let's go.
HELEN: Did you hear that? It's
in here.
JARED: Okay. (laughs)
JARED: Okay. (laughs)
(grunting, laughing)
HELEN: Keep going!
(crashing)
(crashing)
■My home is your home ■
■But welcometo the
Terrordome ■
HELEN: Ew
HELEN: Ew
(music fades)
JARED: Whoa
Gnarly mousetrap.
Lemondrop and Jeffrey?
Lemondrop and Jeffrey?
No, these are too desiccated.
What the hell is this?
What the hell is this?
SIMON: It's a dumbwaiter.
A tiny elevator that takes food
between floors.
But I don't know why it was
covered up.
I'm talking about the
mouse-oleum.
(Jared chuckles)
Let's see where it goes.
No. No, no, no.
No. No, no, no.
No way. This is too dangerous.
You guys, clean this up.
Mal, can you clear the table
please?
Mal, can you clear the table
please?
I need to call the repairman, an
exterminator,
a contractor, a chiropractor
a contractor, a chiropractor
Come on, we have to go up there.
Uh, I I have to clear the
table.
Uh, I I have to clear the
table.
Dude, I bet there's some
weird Spiderwick death cult
stuff up there.
weird Spiderwick death cult
stuff up there.
Mom said not to go.
Bring snacks.
Jared, wait.
Jared!
Jared, I said don't go!
The hell is wrong with you, man?
Can't you for once just leave it
alone?
Can't you for once just leave it
alone?
Don't you want to find out
what's up there?
I want you to stop.
I am so sick of defending you,
Jared.
At school, at the stupid gas
station,
with Lemondrop and Jeffrey.
I didn't do anything to them.
What do I get for helping you?
What do I get for helping you?
I had to leave everything I
loved, okay?
My friends, our house, Dad.
(cheerful music plays)
(cheerful music plays)
(chatter, laughter)
(lively chatter)
(lively chatter)
(firefly chittering)
■ ■
■ ■
(girls laughing)
(firefly tinkling against glass)
(squeaks)
(gasps)
(laughing)
(phone buzzing)
(thudding)
(distant rattling)
(distant rattling)
■ ■
Whoa.
What is this place?
(pattering footfalls)
Lemondrop? Jeffrey?
Lemondrop? Jeffrey?
■ ■
(rustling)
So, you're Arthur Spiderwick.
(snarling)
(hissing, snarling)
Boo!
(both screaming)
(laughing)
-(indistinct chatter) -JARED:
Mom! Mom!
In here!
-I-I saw -HELEN: What?
-I-I saw -HELEN: What?
I-I don't know what.
Lucinda was telling the truth.
Arthur knew.
These-these creatures are real!
These-these creatures are real!
-Someone's starved for
attention. -I know what I saw!
Hey, please calm down, sweetie.
We had to do what Lucina said.
We have to get out of here now!
We had to do what Lucina said.
We have to get out of here now!
Huh.
You ditched therapy?
You ditched therapy?
Because how would you know what
Lucinda said
-if you were with Dr. Brauer--
-I was being inconsiderate
and in doing so, I diminish my
own dignity.
-Whatever! -Jared,
I've tried so hard with you.
Didn't you hear what I just
said?
These creatures are real!
These creatures are real!
Come on. (stammers) I'll show
you.
Uh
I am so done.
Done!
Done!
We came here to see Dr. Brauer,
and that's what we're gonna do!
-Let's go. -Mom. Mom.
-Let's go. -Mom. Mom.
■Everybody ■
■Needs a friend ■
Will it grow?
We're gonna need the Field Guide
to know how to raise
We're gonna need the Field Guide
to know how to raise
this creature from a sapling
idea into a grim endeavor.
But I do recall Spiderwick
saying that it needs protein.
■'Cause I knowjust
what you ■
■'Cause I knowjust
what you ■
(burbling)
(burbling)
(growls)
■When you need me ■
(both exhale)
(burbling)
(burbling)
(knocking at door)
Did she call the police?
Did she call the police?
Maybe they'll go away.
(knocking continues)
Here. Just in case.
■ ■
■ ■
Hi, Dr. Brauer.
Well, I'm so glad you came.
■Do you see it too? ■
■I don't know what to do
■
■I don't know what to do
■
■Call me on the
telephone ■
■Because I'm feeling
all alone ■
■Because I'm feeling
all alone ■
■So where you wanna go?
■
■We can hit the road ■
■We can hit the road ■
■We canhit the
road ■
■We'll find the sun out
there ■
■No need to run out
there ■
■No need to run out
there ■
■Another fire, I'm not
afraid ■
■Another fire, I'm not
afraid ■
■To see new worlds
come off the page ■
■I'm not a hero but I can
see ■
■I'm not a hero but I can
see ■
■There's something
specialin you and me
■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■And no one gets it
like you do ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■And no one gets me
like you do ■
■Ooh ■
■Ooh-ooh ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■There's something magic
in the sky ■
■And no one gets it
like you do ■
■And no one gets it
like you do ■
■There's something magic
in your eyes ■
■And no one gets me
like you do. ■
■And no one gets me
like you do. ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■
■ ■