The Studio (2025) s01e01 Episode Script

[panting]
- [grunting, groaning]
- [grunting]
[laughing]
[yelling]
- Come on. Die for me. That's it.
- [groaning]
Die for me, baby!
- [gunshot]
- [gasps, panting]
[wheezing]
[coughs, chuckles]
[inhales sharply] So, it's you, huh?
[wheezes]
You think you got what it takes to
be the boss.
Shit. Crown's so fucking heavy
it'd break your neck.
I'm the only one keeping us
from being a thing of the past.
You're gonna do good, kid.
You know how I know why? [chuckles]
You had the best teacher there is.
- [director] And bang.
- [gun clicks]
- [director] Cut.
- [assistant director] Tail slate.
- Yes. Yep, yep, yep, yep. Excellent work.
- [actor groaning]
- Excellent work, man. Good job, Paul.
- I don't know, man.
Am I spitting too much? Is it too spit-y?
No. Hell no.
It's just, like, excellent spit. I'm--
Okay. And what about that
final look of regret.
I did a little something different
with my eyebrows. Is that reading?
Yeah, yeah. I I completely saw it. I
mean, hells yes. I saw it. It's excellent.
- Thank you. Okay.
- We're gonna go again.
Maybe try just a little bit
of resignation.
- Ooh, I like that.
- We're going again.
- So, regret to resignation.
- All right. Stand by to go again, guys.
- Lock it up.
- [director] Yeah. You got it?
- [Paul] Nice. All right. Let's do it.
- [director] You good?
[Paul] Uh, hey, guys, I may need a
few extra minutes.
The, uh, fake blood is fully
in my underpants now. So Uh
[chuckles] Bloody underpants? Don't let
HR hear about that one. [chuckles]
Tommy, how you doing, man?
- Matt. Hey. Great to see you. Yeah.
- Oh. Matt.
- This is Matt. He's our studio guy.
- Oh.
Yeah. I'm the exec on the film,
Matt Remick.
- All right. Thanks.
- Such a big fan of yours, Paul.
Uh, I love your directing, actually.
You should do that more, you know.
- You saw my film?
- I saw it. I love Wildlife.
It was incredible.
The way you shot it is It's beautiful.
Oh. Hey Sorry. One sec. What if I went
from regret to resignation to acceptance?
[director] Acceptance. I love it. Show me.
Yes. Yes. Yeah. Okay. You good?
- Let's go.
- All right. Let's go again. I love it.
- All right, buddy. Thanks for coming by.
- Yeah, no problem.
I had an idea, actually, that I was
gonna run by you for the scene.
Buddy, we're good on ideas.
Thanks though, but, uh, I'll see you
at Charlize's party, right?
Yeah. Of course. I'll see you there.
Why wouldn't I be there?
Great-Great-Great to see you, Paul.
Keep it up.
Yep. [chuckles] All right.
Hey, Quinn, was I invited to
some Charlize Theron party this weekend?
What? No. Why would Charlize Theron
invite you to her party?
You're always asking if you're invited
to some celebrity's party
- and the answer's always no.
- Great. Thank you. What do I have now?
- A meeting with the Jenga people.
- Fuck. That's right.
Yesterday was Rubik's Cube but now Jenga?
Patty's the head of the studio.
Her corporate overlords want us to make
more movies based on known brands,
so I gotta take these fucking meetings.
So, now what do you do?
You make a Jenga movie?
No. You take the meeting and
then you don't make the fucking movie,
and you focus on making
an actual good movie.
Oh, my God. This is so depressing.
I'm, like, 30 years too late
to this fucking industry.
I know. Trust me. If it was up to me,
we'd be focusing on making the
next Rosemary's Baby or Annie Hall or,
you know, some great film
that wasn't directed by a fucking pervert.
- Turns out perverts make great movies.
- They really do.
[tour guide] building designed
by Frank Lloyd Wright in 1927
in his signature Mayan revival style.
It was built to literally
be a temple of cinema.
Temple of cinema.
And they want me to make movies
out of fucking wooden blocks.
- Yo.
- [coworker] Hey, what up?
Hey, do I smell?
I didn't go home last night.
[sniffs] Yes.
You-You-You really smell like vodka.
Oh, just vodka? That's fine.
Got shit-faced with Pedro Pascal.
I got him to sign off
on the reshoots for Mom's Party
but gotta focus. Because Griffin Mill
is here and Patty's MIA.
[exhales sharply] A CEO showing up
unannounced. Shit is going down, Matt.
It's going down. [breathes deeply]
Wait. Wait. [stammers] Griffin Mill
is here and no one knows where Patty is?
Yes. Yes. I mean, I think it's happening.
Patty's gonzo, she's gotta be.
Ten straight bombs. She gave
all of her dumbass friends overalls.
She spent $30 million
restoring this building.
She's done,
and I kind of feel like I'm gonna
replace her. [breathing heavily, grunts]
I mean, I kind of also feel
as though I could replace her.
Oh. Yeah, no. Yeah, of course.
[stammers] You never know.
No matter what,
our friendship cannot be affected.
- Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Oh.
- When it happens, I got you, dawg.
I love you. [kisses]
Esther Chang, right now. Thank you.
Quinn. Quinn. You will never believe
what Sal just said.
Patty's fired.
I just talked to her assistant. She's out.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- The story's about to break on Deadline.
Apparently she came to the office a mess
and then just sped off the lot.
Yes. Yes! I knew this was gonna happen.
I mean, it's very sad and I love Patty,
but this could be my time.
Does Griffin Mill like you?
Honestly, I don't know.
I've only met him, like,
a couple times since he's been in charge.
- And he's-he's very hard to read.
- [phone ringing]
Matt Remick's office. Yes. Yes. Of course.
Griffin Mill wants to see you right now.
He's set up in scenic painting.
- [breathing heavily]
- [Quinn chuckles]
I'm about to get promoted or fired,
but if I get this job,
I'm bumping you up to creative executive.
Holy shit. I thought you only
ever said that so I wouldn't quit.
I did, but I also meant it.
[breathing heavily]
[exhales deeply]
Would you like a green juice or anything?
Oh, I'm okay. Thank you.
[breathing deeply]
[assistant] You can go right in.
Welcome.
- Thank you.
- [chuckles]
Sorry about the strange surroundings.
Uh, I just had some business
I needed to take care of,
and I thought a discreet environment
might be thoughtful.
- Of course. Yeah. Discretion is key.
- Yeah. Because Yes. Exactly.
Because nobody wants
to hear somebody else crying
and losing their shit while being fired,
you know? Here, have a seat.
Um, Matthew, out of respect,
I'm gonna get right down to business.
[sighs]
Patty's time has come and gone, and I'm
seriously considering you to replace her.
Oh, my God. Yes. Yes. [stammers]
I'm the guy. I'm the guy for the job.
Why are Tell me that.
Why are you the guy?
Well, um, I've worked at Continental
for 22 years.
I bought the original spec script
for MK Ultra which,
as I'm sure you know, spawned a franchise
that's made us over $3 billion for--
Hey, Renae. Where the fuck's
my green juice?
- [Griffin] You want a green juice?
- Uh, yeah. I'd love one.
Two green juices. Now.
- [Renae] Yes, sir.
- Sorry. Continue.
Film is my life. Ever since I came to this
studio as a kid and went on the tour,
being the head of Continental
is the only job I've ever wanted.
That is adorable.
All right. Well, listen. I honestly just
have one strong reservation about you.
Oh.
I've heard you are really
into artsy-fartsy filmmaking bullshit,
that you're obsessed with actors
and directors liking you
rather than being obsessed with making
this studio as much money as possible.
- Me?
- Yeah.
That could not be further from the truth.
I am as bottom-line oriented
as anyone in this town.
- I believe you.
- Great.
- Good.
- Good.
Because at Continental,
we don't make films.
- We make movies.
- [chuckles]
Movies that people wanna pay to see.
Yes.
Come here. I got a little
little secret for you.
Not for anyone else to hear this,
but I am very close to closing
on the deal to get the rights to Kool-Aid.
And I'm talking a huge,
four-quadrant version of it.
- Kool-Aid?
- Kool-Aid.
- The red drink?
- Yeah.
The guy who breaks through walls
and says, "Oh, yeah"?
Yes.
- That is fucking perfect.
- Okay.
That's exactly what we should
be doing, Mr. Mill.
- Finally, someone who gets it.
- Yes. Oh, I get it.
- Oh, my God. That's great. Yes.
- [chuckles] Yes.
I mean, because, look,
if Warner Brothers can make
a billion fucking dollars
off the plastic tits of a pussiless doll,
we should be able to make $2 billion
off the legacy brand of Kool-Aid.
Can you make that happen?
- Oh, yeah. [laughs]
- [chuckles]
- I get it, and you get it.
- Yeah. You get it. Yeah.
Now let's go get it.
Let's get it. All right.
All right.
Did I get the job?
[Griffin] Oh, yeah!
Matt. Everyone's gathering
in the conference room.
Oh. Great. Thank you, Petra.
Um, question. Has
Has Patty returned any of my phone calls?
- Patty?
- Patty Leigh.
- The lady whose job I just took.
- Sorry, sorry. [chuckles]
- Patty, former head of the studio. Patty.
- Patty, yes.
- Yes?
- I mean No, no, no.
- She hasn't called back.
- Oh. Okay.
Sorry. So many new names.
It's really hard.
It's a lot to process. I get it.
- Quinn.
- Hey.
You ready? Your first big meeting
as creative executive.
- Yes. I'm so fucking ready.
- You seem to be.
- Got your little notebook and everything.
- Yes, I do.
- Big dawg. [growls]
- [Matt exclaims, chuckles]
- Sup?
- Congrats, man.
Thank you. Yo, like we talked about,
this cannot get in the way
of our friendship, right?
- Of course, man.
- Now that I'm the big dog,
- I got yo back, man. [chuckles]
- I like the sound of that.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- Oh, fuck. John Cena.
- Oh. Get that. Yeah.
- I'm gonna take it.
- He's great. [chuckles]
- He'll beat me up.
Come on, man. [whimpers] Fuck this shit.
[snorts, sighs]
[exhales sharply, sniffles]
- He says hi.
- Oh. Cool.
- Oh, there he is.
- Oh, hey, hey, hey.
- [Matt] Hey. Maya. Tyler.
- The man of the hour.
Oh. Next time that Variety
wants to interview,
why don't you check
in with marketing first
- Mm-hmm.
- so we can get a decent picture
- of you this time, right?
- I actually like the photo they used.
- Oh, really? The lighting too?
- Thank you.
- Oh. Mm-mmm. Okay.
- [Matt] Yeah. Look.
Uh, thank you, everyone,
for, uh, assembling.
You know, I just kind of wanted to
get the core team together
for what I guess is the first official
meeting of the Remick years. [chuckles]
- [all cheering]
- [Matt chuckles]
Now, uh, I know Patty was
like a mentor to all of us,
but that that doesn't mean
I'm not gonna do things,
you know, a little
bit differently for, uh
as I very eloquently said
in my interview with Variety,
you know, prestige films
and box office hits.
Those are not mutually exclusive.
We can do both, and we will do both.
And that is why I am excited to announce
that we are fast-tracking
a Kool-Aid movie.
- Wait, what?
- Let's fucking go.
- [Sal] Yes.
- Wait, actually? [stammers]
I was hammering Patty to make moves
like this for, like, months.
My God. We can get MrBeast to put a bunch
of people in a giant pitcher of Kool-Aid,
see how long they can hold their breath
for money.
- Ooh. Actually, that would crush.
- [Maya] Ah.
- [Tyler] Right?
- I could sell the fuck out of this.
That is amazing, Maya,
and I'm glad you like it.
And you're gonna like it even more
when you hear my take.
So, what made Barbie stand out
so much in the marketplace?
Famous white people.
Kinda. It was actually
one quasi-famous white lady.
Greta Gerwig.
That's the reason Barbie worked.
It had a writer-director behind it.
It was a filmmaker's vision.
So that's what we're gonna do
with Kool-Aid.
We are gonna make the auteur-driven,
Oscar-winning Kool-Aid film.
Oh, fuck me. You wanna make
a fucking fancy Kool-Aid movie?
Why? Why? Nobody even fucking watches
the Oscars anymore.
Did Mario Brothers win an Oscar?
- No. It did not.
- [Maya] No. No. It didn't,
but you know what it did win?
$1.3 billion. So this could be our that.
Yeah. I'm gonna make $1.3 billion, but I'm
also gonna make a great film, all right?
- Oh, God.
- Hey, Petra!
Set some meetings.
Only the finest of auteurs for Kool-Aid.
Oh, yeah.
- Thank you.
- So, I'm confused.
Why are we making the Kool-Aid movie?
You hate this stupid IP shit,
you just gave this jerk-off interview
about how you wanna
make cinematic works of art.
I know. Look,
Griffin Mill would only give me this job
if I agreed to make the Kool-Aid movie.
- Oh. Okay.
- Yeah.
That makes a lot more sense 'cause when
this shit's announced you're gonna look--
Like a fucking hypocrite?
I was gonna say fucking idiot, but yeah.
Yeah. Unless we make the fancy version
of Kool-Aid.
Then I actually look like
a fucking genius, you know?
- [sighs] See what the agent's got for us.
- Hey. Mitch Weitz.
Hey. And they say there's no more
Jews working in Hollywood, huh? [chuckles]
- Look at us. We're almost to a minyan.
- Yeah. Hilarious.
[chuckles] You guys need some
Manischewitz, huh? Shake a fucking lulab.
- Yeah. We're all Jewish.
- We get it, we get it.
- It's very, very funny. Look, uh
- I know what a lulab is.
we're fast-tracking the Kool-Aid movie,
and we're really interested in meeting
with some of your clients.
Yeah. Sal gave me the heads-up.
I, uh, spoke to, uh, Nick Stoller,
and he, uh
[inhales sharply]
It took him a second to wrap his head
around it but yeah, he's got a pitch.
I really like Nick Stoller for this.
Storks, Captain Underpants, The Muppets.
That's not the direction we wanna go
with this, okay?
D-Don't you represent Wes Anderson?
You want Wes Anderson to direct
a fucking Kool-Aid movie?
He's gonna think I'm fucking crazy, man.
He's-He's gonna fire me over Zoom from
Liechtenstein or wherever the fuck he is.
Okay. What about Guillermo del Toro?
- Go fuck your mother. Have you lost your
- [Sal] That's--
He's an academy award-winner.
He's not gonna stoop
to the fucking Kool-Aid movie.
Why not? [stammers] It's like
the Barbie movie, you know what I mean?
Barbie? [groans]
Barbie is [stammers]
ten thousand million times better IP
than fucking Kool-Aid. Okay, why?
Because people people love Barbie.
Barbie's hot. People wanna fuck Barbie.
I wanna fuck, uh-uh-uh-uh
Ain't no Ain't nobody trying
to fuck the Kool-Aid Man, dude. Okay?
He's doesn't even have an asshole.
Pretty sure [stammers] there's no way
to fuck the Kool-Aid Man. Am I wrong?
H-How would you fuck him?
I don't fuck What are we talking about?
This has nothing to do with anything.
This is an actual opportunity
for a director to get a huge budget
and make, like, a real film, you know?
Matt. Okay, listen to me, I get it.
You're You're a new studio head.
You want to make great art
and make a billion dollars doing it.
Well, guess what?
That never fucking happens.
And you're gonna fuck everything up
trying to make it happen. You understand?
Hey, Matt, he's right.
Make one for them, make one for you.
Martin Scorsese is pitching you a movie
this week.
Make that shit. Take the easy W here, man.
[stammers] See? Listen
Listen to your Jew.
- Your exec. Hmm?
- Great. Thank you.
No, no, seriously, you've got Stoller.
Stoller's fucking great,
- you fucking schmuck.
- He's really good.
Oh, shit.
- Can you say Can you say "Jew" more?
- When a Jew walks up. Look. Hey, listen
Hello, Mr. Mill.
[Griffin] Matthew.
Just checking in on Kool-Aid.
Listen, I have a board meeting
this Friday,
so I'm gonna need you to pull the trigger
on a director by then.
You can do that, right?
[sighs] Yeah, uh, totally. Shouldn't be
a problem. Uh, yep. I can do that.
- [Griffin] All right.
- [breathes heavily]
Yeah. Uh, set the meeting
with Nick Stoller.
Mazel tov. [chuckles]
Kool-Aid Man is a logo
in a world of logos.
He's friends with Jell-O
and Chef Boyardee.
They go to the bar to
to, like, hang with Velveeta.
[Sal chuckles]
And the Kool-Aid Man, you know,
he was famous in the '80s,
but it's time for him to retire
because he's, you know,
he's too old to break through walls
and do his job anymore.
He wants his son to replace him.
There's a whole family of Kool-Aid people.
So we get to incorporate the
other flavors. You know, yellow, green
But his daughter, she really
wants to break through walls.
But Kool-Aid,
he doesn't think she's strong enough.
But when the whole Kool-Aid family
goes missing,
Kool-Aid girl becomes their only hope.
I hope this doesn't sound crass,
but I feel like I just got double-stuffed
by Walt Disney and Aaron Sorkin.
[chuckles] All right?
Walt's up in my mouth, the Sork is
absolutely destroying my ass. [chuckles]
- Well, uh thanks. Thank you.
- [Matt] Yeah.
- Thanks. Thanks.
- No. Thank you. So good.
And that family shit, as the father
of daughters, it really resonates with me.
Yeah, I'm sure it does.
It It was a great pitch, Nick.
Thank you so much for coming in,
especially on such short notice.
We really appreciate it. Let us just,
you know, rally on our end.
And yeah, we'll let you know ASAP.
So thanks, man. Yeah.
Oh, cool. Thanks. Thank you. And, um,
have you, uh, talked to Patty recently?
I mean, I, uh She gave me my first break
as a writer, and I, you know, love her.
- Yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's the best.
- Um, and, uh, is she doing okay?
- Yeah, she's doing great, yeah.
- Okay.
I was ac I was just talking
to her this morning actually.
- Okay.
- Yeah, and she's,
you know, transitioning very well.
She's, uh, overall very optimistic
about the future.
So, uh, yeah, I'll let
I'll let her know you said hi.
- That would be awesome.
- Yes. Great job.
- And I love Kool-Aid. I really do.
- Yeah, cool. Great, thanks, man. Yeah.
- I love it.
- It loves you.
I'm thirsty for Kool-Aid.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- [Sal chuckles]
Did you really talk to Patty?
No. I've called her a thousand times.
She will not call me back at all, man.
[sighs] Yeah, me too.
Hey, that pitch was really good.
This movie can work, man. He's the doctor.
Yeah. You know, I gotta say,
it's for sure the best version
of the very, very,
very, very middle-of-the-road
version of this
and it's not [inhales sharply]
what I wanna be,
you know, coming out of the gate with,
but Griffin Mill will love it.
And more importantly, he will have it by
the end of the week. So, thank you, Sal.
- I got your back.
- Okay.
[podcast host] It's Wednesday, March 27.
I'm Matt Belloni and this is The Town,
the podcast that takes you
inside Hollywood.
The big news in town today,
heard from multiple sources,
that Matt Remick,
head of Continental Studios,
he's been taking meetings trying to
find a director for a Kool-Aid movie.
- Oh, shit.
- Days after telling Variety
he wants to revive cinema
and make bold choices,
Remick has instantly become
a punch line on social media,
now that he's making what sounds like
a dumb movie based on a bad drink.
Fuck.
I can't believe Patty's out.
You know, she was the head of Continental
for as long as I can remember.
It was like, since before the flood.
- Yeah. [chuckling]
- [chuckles]
- And now you're here.
- Yes.
- Congratulations. Congratulations.
- Thank you. It's very exciting.
- All the best. All the best.
- Yes. [stammers]
If I seem stressed out, honestly,
I've had a
I've had quite the day. [chuckles]
Oh, yeah. Was it bad?
Bad? No, not really.
Just got a lot going on.
So I What do you got?
I can't wait to hear it.
Well, I know you're busy, so I'm just
gonna jump right into it, okay?
This is a project that I've
been really wanting to make
for a very, very long time.
Only thing is,
the budget's a little bit up there.
Some may say extreme. The scope is huge.
Cool. Cool.
The themes are heavy.
But I want the film to be entertaining.
- [Matt] Cool, yeah.
- Entertainment, okay?
Uh, now, it's a story we all know about,
but not one that we really know about,
you know?
Oh, I know. What is it?
Jonestown.
Huh?
Jonestown. Jonestown.
Like the cult massacre?
Yes, exactly! Exactly!
The Jonestown cult massacre.
It's about Jim Jones,
United States Senate, America.
It's sprawling, it's big, it's fun.
It's fucked up.
Granted, it's fucked up,
but I see it as a meditation on cults,
hero worship, mass murder, suicide.
Everything. It's life.
Jonestown?
[clicks tongue, inhales sharply]
Jonestown.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong
Is that the massacre where everybody
committed suicide by
drinking Kool-Aid?
Exactly! That's the phrase.
They drank the Kool-Aid.
Drink the Kool-Aid, whatever it is.
That's the phrase.
That's the climax of the picture.
- It's a big, big sequence.
- That's great.
- So, naturally, it builds to that.
- That's so
[stammers] In a sense, I guess you could
say that your film is about Kool-Aid.
[inhales sharply] Well, I mean, yeah,
in a in a sense, I guess.
- In a sense. Yeah, great.
- In a sense you could.
- Great, great.
- Yeah, yeah.
So [stammers] what are you thinking
in terms of budget?
Well, I mean Yeah, budget
[stammers, exhales deeply] You know, 200.
I'm gonna tell you what, Mr. Scorsese.
I will green-light your film right now
with a budget of $250 million,
and I'm gonna buy your screenplay
for ten million.
Whoa, Matt. Jesus, you move fast.
[exclaims] I love that. I love it.
- Decisive, huh?
- [Matt] Yep.
- Decisive and good taste.
- [chuckles]
I, uh I don't mean that in a bad way.
- No, of course. [chuckles]
- Yeah. [laughs]
Now there's
there's one little tiny catch.
- All right.
- I know, I know.
Yeah, I've been around.
- Always a catch.
- Hit me with the catch. What is it?
T-Trust me here. Th-This, in no way
affects you making the exact film
that you wanna make, okay?
Yeah, because the whole thing
is about freedom to make the film
you wanna make, yeah.
You will have all that. However,
it sort of affects what
what we'd call the film.
Okay, so what do you wanna call the movie?
Kool-Aid.
Kool-Aid.
[Matt] I did it! I did it! I did it!
I got Martin Scorsese to write and direct
the Kool-Aid movie!
Scorsese? Kool-Aid? Are you shitting me?
I'm not. I did it. I did it!
Oh, what about Stoller?
I'm making a deal with him.
Yeah! Tell him to get fucked!
I got a real filmmaker.
[Sal] Consider him fucked.
Scorsese? Are-Are you kidding me?
No. I did it. When this breaks
on Deadline, I'm gonna look like a genius.
All those people who wrote posts and
articles about what a dumb schmuck I am,
they're gonna have to write new posts
and new articles about what a genius I am.
- That's the dream! [breathes heavily]
- Matt, look.
- Oh, my God.
- Matt? What?
- Charlize Theron invited me to her party.
- No fucking way. Can I come with?
No!
- This is the best day of my life.
- [chuckles]
- This is it!
- [chuckles, mumbles]
Marty Scorses? On God? Um, no fucking way!
- [Matt] Yeah.
- Oh, w what's the idea?
- Is there a document? Let's go.
- There's a whole script.
[chuckles] Wait a minute
Martin Scorsese just happened to be
writing a script about Kool-Aid?
Even better. Martin Scorsese
just happened to be writing
a script that he is enthusiastic about
turning into our Kool-Aid film.
[chuckles] Great! What the fuck is it?
- Just know, uh
- Okay.
it's one of those ideas
that when you first hear it
- Yeah.
- you're gonna be like, "Huh?"
But then once you really process it,
wrap your head around it,
- you're gonna be like, "Wow!"
- What the fuck is it?
- It is, uh, an exploration of Kool-Aid
- Mm-hmm.
through, uh, the events
that centered around the place
that is most commonly known,
uh, as Jonestown.
Jonestown?
Jesus! Fuck! Yo!
- What the fuck is wrong with you?
- Calm down. It's fucking nothing.
You wanna bring down
this fucking studio? Oh, my God!
Just fucking relax. Chill the fuck out.
If you're gonna tear it down, I need
a fucking Xanax right now. Oh, I'm so hot.
Everyone's watching! We're all good!
Okay, look. Okay, it's-it's not
a line drive down-the-middle take.
- No.
- This is even better.
- Oh?
- This version can actually be cool.
"Cool"? Who are you, the fucking Fonz?
Look! Okay, okay.
Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, right?
- Quentin Tarantino, a fun, cool movie
- Right.
about a real cult massacre that wins
Oscars and makes $377 million,
or can Sony market a movie
better than you?
[inhales sharply] You know what Sony had?
- The holy trinity. Leo, Brad, and Margot.
- [breathes heavily]
Who do you have?
It's funny you should ask.
I, uh, was just talking to Marty,
and he actually has really strong feelings
that the lead role of,
you know, Jim Jones
should be portrayed by none other than
Steve Buscemi.
[breathes deeply]
Okay, Steven Buscemi is absolutely
the worst case scenario.
Either people know his name
but they can't recognize his face,
or they know his face but they have
no idea what his name is.
He is not good for business.
He's quite literally one of
the greatest actors who's currently alive.
Hey! If he walked in this room,
I would splay him on this table
and fuck him to death.
He does not have the clout
to carry a franchise like Kool-Aid.
Wait, hold on. Is it "Buscemi"
or "Buscimi"?
- It's Steve Buscemi.
- Buscemi?
No, it's Buscemi like bruschetta.
We've been talking about this guy
for an hour,
and no one here can pronounce
his name correctly.
- What does that tell you, Matt?
- Okay, so here's the deal.
Griffin is gonna ask me
what marketing thinks of your take,
and I'm gonna have to be honest
with him and tell him
that your take is gonna bomb.
That movie is going to bomb. Okay?
- [Matt sighs]
- But I also know you need to
show him something.
So, I had marketing whip a little
something up to bail your ass out. Ah!
[dance music playing]
What the fuck is this?
- It's a teaser, asshole.
- A teaser for what, asshole?
Fuck do I know? That's your fucking job!
Can we please just do the Stoller idea,
okay? It was not that bad.
We can't. Guess why. This fucking
dumbass killed the deal yesterday.
- Oh, my God.
- Hey! I know you love Martin Scorsese.
His vision for this movie
is going to bankrupt us.
You need to show Griffin
this teaser right now.
I can't show Griffin this. This is noth
This has no fucking story. It's nothing.
Who gives a shit if it has a story?
He's gonna be delighted by the
Kool-Aid Man doing the zay-zay shuffle.
What the fuck is the zay-zay shuffle?
It is the number one dance trend
on TikTok.
Matt, as our boss, you should know more.
Look, guys,
we got Martin Scorsese to agree
to write and direct
a fucking Kool-Aid movie for us.
So it's not the most commercial cast,
and it's not the most marketable take,
it's one of the greatest directors
of all time,
wanting to make a film for us.
If this isn't the type of thing
we're fucking saying yes to,
what are we doing with our lives?
We're going with Scorsese's version
of Kool-Aid. End of story.
[door opens]
Griffin Mill's ready for you all.
Oh, my God.
[Tyler] It says here it was actually
Flavor Aid that they drank in Jonestown.
[Matt, through clenched teeth]
Shh! Not helping.
[normal]
Just let me do the talking, we'll be fine.
- Hello!
- [Griffin chuckles]
- Whoa, lookee here.
- [Matt chuckles] Yeah.
All marching in like good school children.
- [all chuckle]
- Good to see you, sir.
- Yeah.
- All right. So, Kool-Aid me.
What's happening?
I'll tell you what's happening.
[clicks tongue]
[dance music playing]
Wow.
Seriously?
That is fucking fantastic.
- Yes, it is!
- [Maya exclaims]
- I mean, that's huge! It's fun, right?
- Huge. Huge movie. So fun.
- It's so amazing.
- [Matt] Yeah. It's so great.
- And he's doing the zay-zay, right?
- Oh, he's dropping the zay-zay.
I love that stuff. Oh, yeah.
My daughter does that.
Yeah, the zay-zay. Yeah, it's the best.
So, Matt, what's the story?
The story?
[Griffin] Yeah. What's-What's the story?
What's it about?
[clicks tongue] Oh, um the story
is actually the best part.
[Griffin] Good.
So, um, yeah. Uh [clicks tongue]
Well, Kool-Aid Man exists
in a world of corporate logos.
He-He's friends with Velveeta.
He goes and hangs out at the bar
with Chef Boyardee.
And, uh, he's got a whole family
of Kool-Aid people,
so you get the other flavors in there,
you got yellow, green, red, you know?
- Oh, I love all this.
- [Matt] Thank you.
- Very, very impressive.
- Thank you.
- Very diverse, right?
- Yes.
You've got red, yellow, green.
- It ain't white, am I right? [chuckles]
- [Matt] No. [chuckles]
Right? Very diverse.
- We got you, brother. [chuckles]
- [Matt laughs]
You too, sister. [chuckles]
So who's, uh, who's gonna be directing?
- Nick Stoller. Guy's a real pro.
- [Griffin] Oh, yeah.
- We got him locked down, yeah.
- Love him. Very funny.
- All right. Lock it up.
- Yes. I will, thank you so much.
- Good work.
- Pleasure.
- Good to see you, Griffin.
- [chuckles]
Oh, uh, one more question.
This Martin Scorsese Jonestown movie
What's all that about?
You spent ten million dollars
on a Martin Scorsese Jonestown script,
but we can't be making a movie
about Kool-Aid and its lovable mascot
and also be making a movie
about how Kool-Aid
is associated with one of
the most infamous mass murders
of all fucking time.
- Of course not.
- Thank God.
- Yeah.
- [chuckles]
- I knew you'd have a good reason.
- Yeah.
So, tell me, why did you spend
the ten million dollars on it?
Well [chuckles] you know, um
[clicks tongue]
I got wind that Scorsese
was making this Jonestown movie
- Okay.
- and I had the exact same concern
as you, you know. We can't let
this art house bullshit
get in the way of our
billion-dollar franchise,
and so I bought the Jonestown script,
uh, specifically to kill it.
[Tyler, Sal, Quinn gasp]
- So, we'll own the project.
- Mm-hmm.
But nobody will ever get to make it?
Mm-mmm.
- Oh, Matt, that is so fucked up.
- [Maya] Mmm.
- Yeah.
- I love it.
- Great.
- Boop.
- Thank you.
- [chuckles]
[Griffin] Good work.
Yes, obviously I know that we are
the ones who blew up the deal,
but we've had second thoughts
and we would love to have Nick Stoller
on Kool-Aid. I'll double his quote.
[Mitch] Oh, you're gonna be
dumping shekels on Stoller,
but the problem now is that he came up
under Patty, and he talked to her--
- He did?
- Yeah, she's pissed off at Jew,
the studio, and she convinced Nick
not to work with you on this.
I need that idea!
I don't know what to tell you!
You fucked yourself.
Patty's the only issue?
Yep.
Well, then you will be
absolutely thrilled to hear
that we're actually bringing Patty
onboard Kool-Aid as a producer.
- [mouthing words] No, no, no.
- The first smart thing you've done.
Great. Uh, keep it under wraps for now,
but we are gonna get this deal done.
- Good Pesach.
- Why do you keep lying?
- I don't know!
- You can't even get her on the phone.
I know that! [breathes heavily]
I'm just gonna go to her house
and confront her in person.
Yo, you're coming with me
to Charlize's tonight.
If we pull this off,
we are going to celebrate.
Oh, yeah!
Oh, how dare you show your face
at my door? You of all people.
Hi, Patty.
Oh, God, it's so humiliating.
Well, don't just stand there
like a fucking DoorDasher, come in.
- Fuck! You know I quit swearing
- I know. I'm sorry.
and you're making me do it,
motherfucker. Fuck! [sobs]
- I'm sorry. Shit. Look.
- [Patty groans]
I just wanted to come by, you know,
see-see how you're doing,
- and make sure everything was okay.
- [sniffling]
How I'm doing? Oh. Oh, I
You know, I gave 40 years
of my life to this studio
- Yeah.
- and then this Griffin Mill,
some dime-store Bob Evans comes in
and wants to put his stamp on the place
[inhales sharply] like he's urinating
on a on a hydrant. [sniffles]
I know, he's-he's so brutal.
Yeah, he is.
- But guess what? You're even worse.
- Me?
- You broke my heart, Matty.
- What did I do?
[sobs] You stole my job!
I I did not steal your job, okay?
I had absolutely nothing to do with that.
I [stammers] I barely
even got hired, you know?
I raised you like a son,
and the moment my back
is turned, you stab it.
I did not [stammers]
stab you in the back.
- Yes, you did.
- If anything, I'm-I'm here
trying to carry your torch, Patty.
Well, you may not have thrust the knife,
but you sure seem happy
working with people who did.
- I am not happy about any of this.
- [sniffles] You are.
You believe me on that one.
And-And-And I love our
working relationship and that
- [stammers] that's why I'm here.
- Yeah.
- I wanna keep it going.
- Yeah.
I'm offering you a producorial role
on our biggest and best new franchise.
Kool-Aid?
- Yeah!
- Is that your offer?
It is.
[groans] You're like a cat
bringing in a mutilated pigeon.
[chuckles, stammers] Oh, I know.
I talked to Stoller.
You just want me to pull your ass
out of the fire to get him to sign on.
Well, you need me to pull your ass
out of the fire too.
You know, you're on your own, Patty.
You need a gig, okay?
Matthew! So you offer me Kool-Aid?
Like I want my name
on that monstrosity? Ew! Ew.
That thing should've been
smothered in the crib.
No, if I wanted to make that trash,
I'd still have my job.
- Okay, here's my counter.
- Okay.
I will call Stoller and get him
onboard on your movie.
- Great.
- Uh, but I will need
a three-year overall,
ten million overhead,
two put pictures a year,
first look nonexclusive.
No.
Matty! [groans]
No, look. Patty, look [stammers]
I'm-I'm sorry, I just can't do it.
That's too good
Nobody in all of Hollywood
has a deal that lucrative.
I don't care! You owe me everything!
I don't owe you e Look, I owe you a lot,
I will give you that. I don't think
I owe you everything. I just can't do it.
Matty, that job was my life,
just like it is yours, right?
And without it [sobs]
Without it, I'm afraid. I don't
I don't know if I can
[stammers] I'm afraid. [cries]
I'll give you $7 million a year,
no put pictures, fully exclusive. [sighs]
Eight million, one put picture,
and-and the budget's under five million.
- [sobs]
- Fine, but you gotta be exclusive.
No exclusivity!
Those people railed me raw!
They railed me raw, Matty.
Please.
Okay, I'll do it.
Deal.
Matty, thank you.
- [Matt] Thank you.
- Thank you. [sniffles]
- [sighs]
- Oh, thank you.
[grunts] Okay. Let's call Nick Stoller.
[Patty] Oh, you poor thing. You have to
kill Martin Scorsese's movie.
[Matt inhales sharply]
I killed one of Warren's movies in '88
and he never slept with me again.
I have the same fear with Marty.
[Patty] So, how do you feel in all this?
[Matt] You know, I've worked,
obviously a long time to get here.
My You know, my parents
are very thrilled, very proud.
I think Griffin is, you know,
optimistic with with the plan.
[Patty] Matty, not one of those words
is about how you feel.
[Matt] Yeah, I, uh [sighs]
feel miserable, honestly.
I'm anxious, I'm stressed out,
panicking pretty much all the time.
I was so much happier two weeks ago
when I was just angry and resentful
that I didn't have this job.
I would give anything
to be angry and resentful
compared to how I feel right now.
You know, I walk past
the tour guide every morning
and they say that the office was built
as a temple to cinema,
but it feels much more like a tomb.
Heavy is the head, Matty.
Yeah, yeah. [stammers]
I'm honored, obviously,
to be one of the people that
gets to choose, you know,
which movies get made
and which ones don't.
That's-That's huge.
And I got into all this,
'cause, you know, I love movies,
but now I have this fear
that [sighs] my job is to ruin them.
The job is a meat grinder.
It makes you stressed
and panicked and miserable.
One week you're looking your idol
in the eye and breaking his heart,
and the next week you're writing
a blank check for some entitled nepo baby
in a beanie.
But when it all comes together,
and you make a good movie
[smacks lips] it's good forever.
You'll make a great studio head.
You know why?
'Cause you had the best teacher.
I still do.
[huffs]
[Sal sighs] I'm so glad I'm not the guy
who has to tell Marty his movie's dead.
What are you gonna say to him?
I'm not gonna say shit to Marty.
I talk to his agent on Monday and then
I avoid him for the rest of my life.
Hopefully I just never see him again.
- [Scorsese] Hey, Matt! Hey!
- Oh, fuck me.
- Marty! Hey! Hey, great to see you.
- Hey, Matt. Hey. Oh, God, hi.
- This is Sal.
- Hey.
- Hi. Hello.
- Hi.
- Hi, Matt.
- Yes.
Matt, I have been thinking
nonstop about Kool-Aid.
Oh, great. That's great.
I mean Kool-Aid. I have some
And by the way, I got some great ideas
for actors to put around Buscemi, okay?
- Perfect. Great, yeah.
- Oh.
And honestly, I couldn't have come to
the title Kool-Aid on my own.
I mean, I can't believe that title.
It's fantastic.
- I'm gonna take credit for it, okay?
- [Matt chuckles] It's all yours.
I love how your brain
doesn't stop working, Marty.
But you know, we-we don't have to
talk shop at a party.
Let's-Let's talk about something else.
You-You into sports, cars?
What's going on?
- Nothing.
- I mean, you're acting weird.
There's something funny
There's something funny going on here.
[stammers] I'm pretty sure
this is how I always act.
I know this guy like the back
of my own dick.
- This is classic Matt Remick right here.
- Yeah. Totally, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
This performance, it's inauthentic.
I promise. [stammers] It's nothing, yeah.
- I saw that look.
- [Matt] What look?
- I saw that look.
- [Matt] Nope.
It's a furtive look. It was furtive.
- We were not being furtive.
- Never been furtive in my life.
- No.
- Oh, no, no, that's furtive.
I know furtive. If there's one thing
I know, it's furtive, okay?
Look, Marty, um,
there's something you should know,
and Sal is actually gonna take
the lead on this and-and tell you.
- [Scorsese] Sal?
- Yeah.
- Now I talk?
- Now you talk.
[smacks lips] Marty, first of all,
can I say,
you're the reason I'm in this business.
Who the fuck are you,
and what are you trying to say?
We're going in a different direction
and we're not doing a Jonestown version
of Kool-Aid. [gasps]
You know what? I'm fine.
Fine.
All right, I mean, it's fucked up,
but I got to tell you, Matt, honestly,
it's not surprising,
because you're just another
run-of-the-mill, faceless,
talentless, spineless suit.
I have a face.
Just give me back my movie
and let me go sell it to fucking Apple,
the way I should have done
it in the first place.
I can't do that.
Let me get this straight.
You bought my movie, just to kill it?
- I did.
- He did.
- We'll leave you alone, Mr. Scorsese.
- I loved The Departed.
Shut up.
- Oh, God, that was
- Oh, no.
that was so much worse
than I thought it was gonna be.
It sucked.
- [sobbing]
- God, he's crying.
- He's sobbing. You made him sob.
- [Theron] Martin. Why are you crying?
- You made him sob.
- You told--
- [Theron] Are you okay?
- Fuck. Charlize is talking to him.
- Shit.
- Jesus Christ.
Damn it. He's telling her what happened.
Little rat. Keep your fucking mouth shut.
What a dick. Fuck, she's looking at us.
- It's okay, just Fine, just be cool.
- She's gonna kick us out of the party.
You're the head of a studio,
she's not kicking you out. Fucking chill.
- Hey, Charlize. Hi.
- [Matt] Hi, Charlize.
Get the fuck out of here.
- Okay, sorry. Thank you for having us.
- [Sal] Yeah.
[Matt] Sorry, Marty.
[Sal] Fucking Jesus Christ.
Hey, Matt Remick, right?
Steve Buscemi. Hey.
- Buscemi, but yeah.
- Oh, sorry, yeah.
That's okay. I hear
we're making a film together.
- Yeah, we are. Um, yeah, can't wait.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
- How about Marty's script?
- Yeah.
- Did it just, like, blow your mind?
- Yeah. It was amazing.
- They should just give him the Oscar now.
- I know. It was really great stuff, yeah.
And to think, we're gonna be
making Martin Scorsese's last movie.
His what?
Oh, he didn't tell you?
- No.
- Oh, yeah.
No. [scoffs] This is his swan song.
He's done after this.
- Wow.
- I mean, what a true honor.
- Yeah, it's--
- How lucky are we?
So lucky. Amazing, right? Yeah.
Hey, man, thank you for making it happen.
- Thank you.
- Seriously. I'll see you on set.
- Can't wait.
- All right.
- Yeah, bye.
- Take care.
[Buscemi] Hey, Marty.
Are you crying? What happened?
["Then He Kissed Me" playing]
[Sal] Two martinis coming up.
- Here you go, dude.
- Thank you, sir. Cheers.
Even after what happened tonight,
I still love watching this film.
Oh, my God, yes. Marty's the GOAT.
Don't think we can call him Marty anymore.
- Oh, no. It's Mr. Scorsese.
- Yes. Very much so.
- Lorraine Bracco's so fucking hot.
- Dude, Ray Liotta's so fucking hot.
[exclaims] Yes!
I heard Patty was fucking him
while they made this movie.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Yeah. And I heard he has a huge dick.
Oh, I believe that.
Rest in peace, king.
- Rest in penis, king.
- [chuckles]