The Villains Of Valley View (2022) s01e01 Episode Script

1 Hey, who's ready for family movie night? Seriously? This is how we're gonna spend our weekends from now on? Yep, this is what ordinary families do, and now that we're "The Mayhems," we are an ordinary family.
I found the remote.
Think I also found a rat problem.
Everyone just act normal.
Oh, look, everybody.
It's our landlady Celia and her granddaughter Hartley.
Hello, landlady Celia and her granddaughter Hartley.
Your first months rent is ten bucks short.
Oh, sorry about that.
Can you break a twenty? Nope.
You look really familiar.
Do I know you from somewhere? No, I don't think so.
Well, we were just about to start family movie night.
Great.
What are we watching? I love a good war movie.
Uh, on second thought, we really should get some rest.
We're still adjusting to the time difference here in Texas.
Remind me where you're from again.
Tallahassee.
Delaware.
Taiwan.
Boston.
We never stay in the same place too long.
Well, that's a red flag.
I'll take next month'srent, too.
You are gonna love Texas.
- Everyone's super friendly.
- I can tell.
What brought you here anyway? Oh, you know, we just needed a change.
- It's straight! - Yeah, for someone who put it up with their eyes closed.
it's as straight as it's gonna get.
All right! Mom should be here soon and this promotion is a big deal for our entire supervillain family.
What I'm trying to say is Ka-ching! Daddy's gonna buy a getaway boat.
Hey, what's wrong with you? I've been 13 for a month now and I still don't have my power.
I mean, I don't even have a villain name.
My whole life, you guys have called me "Number Three.
" Well, if it makes you feel any better, we also call you other things.
Don't worry, you'll get your power unless you're some freak of nature.
In which case, we'll still tell you we love you.
We'll just be laughing behind your back.
What's wrong, honey? Don't like the banner? I busted my butt to be Chief Commander of the League of Villains and instead, Onyx promotes that half-lizard freak Slither! Oh, I like her! She's- - not nearly as good at her job as you are! Don't worry, Mom, you'll get 'em next time! Oh, there won't be a next time.
Because I'm gonna tell Onyx that this family is done being villains! What?! Well, we have to get together another night.
Bye! - Thank you for coming.
- Bye! Ugh, being nice is exhausting! Don't worry, Mom.
Okay, I'm gonna fix this.
I'm gonna find a way to get our lives back.
It's too late.
All that's left now is to settle into our mediocre lives here in the middle of nowhere and hope Onyx and the other villains don't find us.
Don't forget about the authorities.
Or the superheroes.
They'd love to take us down.
Yeah, what's their problem with us anyway? I mean, aside from wanting to take over the world and annihilate anyone in our path we're just like everybody else! ♪♪ ♪♪ That's weird.
The bell rang but there's still twenty minutes of class.
Yeah, weird.
Amy.
Did you use your sonic power to mimic the bell so you could get out of class early? No.
Jake Mayhem, please report to the principal's office- - Amy! Relax.
I'm just having fun.
Plus, I had to get out of class.
My Math teacher is trying to make me look bad.
This is the fourth "F" he's given me in two weeks! Uh, well, maybe it's because your answer to every question is: "Can't read girl's test next to me.
' You know what? That teacher is gonna pay.
There's about to be a "mysterious" sonic boom in the faculty parking lot.
Amy! You do know that every time you use your powers you're putting us all in danger, right? Jake, I've been a villain my entire life.
I've always done whatever I want, whenever I want.
You can't just expect me to stop now.
I'm doing it.
You're not helping your case.
Look, I know it's an adjustment, but you can change.
Maybe this'll help.
"How To Become A Better Person"? Yeah, I've been working on becoming a better version of myself.
All my life I've been Chaos, the "bad guy" with super-strength, but according to this book, my true strength lies right here.
Amy, I'm trying to help you here.
To become a better person, you have to step out of your comfort zone and do things you've never done.
Like make a friend.
Jake, I don't make friends and even if I did, who would I be friends with here? Hey, neighbors.
No, no way.
Not Hartley.
She's happy, polite, and sees the good in everyone.
She's everything I despise.
Exactly.
My book says you should challenge yourself to suppress your bad instincts, which is why you should hang out with her after school.
Yeah, that's never going to happen.
Too late! - Hi- - Hi, Hartley.
Um I was wondering if maybe you would want to What I mean is, maybe we could- - Get you a bucket? She wants to hang out after school.
Oh, you mean like be friends? Mm-hmm.
That would be amazing! I mean, we live so close, we could hang out all the time.
I'll see you at your house after school and every day after that.
Yay, you did it! Eva, your evil genius husband, just created a device that can trap anyone in another dimension.
I thought you were fixing the microwave.
This was the microwave.
Check it out.
Whoa! Excuse me, you almost trapped your wife in another dimension.
Well, you're always saying I never take you anywhere.
Fine, I'll put it in the secret lair in the basement.
We don't have a basement.
We do now.
Oh, can we just move down here and not tell the kids? I was gonna move down there and not tell you.
Hey, how about I lock you down there and I tell no one? Ooh.
Did you buy a water cooler? No, I just assumed you bought it.
Surprise! I finally got my power.
I'm a shapeshifter.
Oh, I was more excited about the water cooler.
Wow, a shapeshifter just like his grandpa, may he rest in peace.
I mean, if he is dead.
I'm pretty sure he just shape-shifted into a coffin to avoid grandma's nagging.
And congrats, Colb.
But remember, no using your power outside the house ever.
Well, I was hoping we could use it to scare the pants off the locals If we did that, we'd be terrible role models.
I'm in.
Okay, Hartley should be here any minute.
Oh, Jake, this is a waste of time.
I don't want friends.
I want to be back home living my old life and plotting revenge against everyone's favorite superhero, Starling.
Still mad because you kicked your butt? She did not kick my butt.
Come on, the whole world saw it.
There's even a meme.
What?! Who would even make something like that? I did.
Now you know why I'm trying to be a better person.
Okay, she's here.
Remember, control your villain instincts.
Will you chill? I've got this.
Hey, Amy.
Wow, held out longer than I thought.
Sorry about that, Hartley.
This place is drafty .
Sorry I'm late, I had a meeting with the Sunshine Club.
For students who find ways to help the community, You know, spread a little sunshine.
Since we're friends, you're an honorary member.
Oh, this is too good to pass up.
Oh, it's four o'clock.
Catching Up With the Supers is on.
The superhero reality show? How can you watch that junk? "Junk"? Superheroes are inspiring.
They represent the best parts of all of us.
Starling.
There's Starling, she's my favorite.
Uh-oh.
Even though I'm a superhero with incredible powers, I just want what every other girl wants.
Good friends, social media likes, and for all of you to buy my new Starling light-up high tops, in stores now.
Isn't she amazing? Not even Havoc's Sonic Scream could take her down.
Starling totally kicked her butt.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she didn't.
- I'm pretty sure she did.
- I'm pretty sure she didn't.
I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure you should quit now before this gets ugly.
Okay, Amy, why don't we go make some popcorn? Oh, I'm gonna make something pop.
Amy, breathe, Hartley is challenging you not to use your villain instincts, and you're doing great.
Ah! No.
Give me the fork.
Give me the fork! Uh, wait, didn't there used to be a microwave over there? Oh yeah, dad turned it into that device that can zap people into another dimension.
Like really annoying perky people.
Amy, Amy! Come back, Get back here.
You've gotta see this view of Havoc after Starling kicked her butt.
I saw the meme! Not this one.
I just made it.
- That's it! - Amy, no! Wow, Jake, for a good person, you just did a really bad thing.
♪♪ I just sent our neighbor to another dimension.
What are we gonna do? I say we rifle through her closet.
Hey! Say hello to our new dog.
We figured he'd help us to blend in.
- Go ahead, pet him.
- I'm good.
Oh, come on, pet him.
- I don't wanna pet him.
- Will you just pet the dog?! Fine.
Aw, he's gonna cute.
Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy- - ? Ahhh! I love scaring children.
I got my power.
Oh, we've been using it to mess with people all day.
Oh, oh, and if you see a news story about a bull driving a golf cart, that was me! What is wrong with you people? We're supposed to be blending in.
He is right.
Shame on you for doing something that could expose our secret.
Hey, Jake, what do you do today? Uh Dad, we may have used your device to send Hartley to another dimension.
Oh, "we"? No, no.
That was all you.
And it was delightful.
Hartley, you in there? It's Celia.
What are we gonna do? Really?! Way to have our backs.
Shh.
If we're quiet, she'll go away.
Oh, look.
She has a key.
Uh, hey, Celia.
We were just playing a game Uh, "Who could go the longest without answering the door.
" That's a stupid game.
Where's Hartley? She said she was coming here, but she's not answering her phone.
Hartley- - I- - I haven't seen Hartley, Amy, have you seen Hartley? Oh, come on! Okay.
Wow, now this is what I call a secret lair.
Were you ever tell us about this place? Nope.
But at least now we can all use it as an escape from Jake.
There you are.
- Did you get rid of Celia? - No.
And if she finds out Hartley's missing, she's gonna call the police and they're gonna start asking questions and we'll be on the run again and I have a really big Spanish test tomorrow that I wanna do muy bueno on And that, kids, is why we call Jake the dented can of the family.
All right, look, this device can only send people to another dimension, but it's possible I could make a similar device to send Hartley from the other dimension to here.
I would just need some time.
Well, how do we stall Celia? Ooh.
I have an idea.
Stop sulking, Colby.
At least you get to use your shapeshifting power.
I will never forgive you for this.
Yeah, yeah, add it to the list.
Come on.
What's up, Celia? Excuse me? Where have you been? We're late for your dentist appointment.
Dentist appointment? She hates the dentist.
Always trying to get out of it.
Let's go.
Hartley, come on.
Don't leave.
No, stay.
What are you doing? What are you doing? Hartley, get in the car.
Wait! You can't go yet because there's a problem in the house.
The lights keep flickering.
Not since I've been here.
Aye, that's dangerous.
Ooh.
You should probably fix that now.
Hartley, go get my tool belt.
Okay, the new device is finished.
Now we just have to figure out which one of us is going in to get her.
Me? Why me? Come on! It'll be like our villain days.
I always pushed you first.
You remember the volcano? You screamed all the way down.
Yeah it was a volcano.
- That was the dumbest idea for - Oh, come on a Christmas card we've ever had.
Ahh! I'll go! Even another dimension has to be better than this place.
Uh, Dad, these devices are identical.
Yup, I'm that good.
So which is the new one? - You don't know? - Of course, I know.
That one.
Are you sure? Yes, here.
I'll approve it.
Hop through the portal.
Once you're in there, count to two, hit the button, you'll pop right back out.
Okay, if you say so.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi I really thought that was the right one.
Unbelievable.
Oh, who am I kidding? It's my dad.
Totally believable.
Amy! What's going on? What is this place and how did I get here? Funny story.
My dad's a scientist and he created this device.
It can send people to another dimension, but it sent you here, so I came to save you.
but my dad gave me the wrong device so now we're both stuck here until he comes and saves us.
Whew! Is that an inter-dimensional sunrise? Pretty, let's watch it.
Amy, I don't want to be here.
This place is creepy.
Oh, it's not that bad.
Aside from those giant rocks flying towards us.
Get down! Okay, now I really want out of here.
Don't worry, I'm sure my dad will be here any minute.
One of us has to go in there and save them.
I know, I know.
You hungry? What is up with these rocks? Look out! That was close.
Uh-oh.
- Hartley, I can explain! - That was a Sonic Blast.
I knew you looked familiar.
You're Havoc! Yeah, well, that pretty much sums it up.
That means your dad isn't just some scientist, he's Craniac! You and your entire villain family have been hiding out of my grandma's house.
What was that? I think I just figured out why these rocks are flying around When we got zapped here, it created a rift in the dimensional continuum and it's sucking everything in.
What does that mean? Let's just say it looks like you've attended your last Sunshine Club meeting.
Great, so not only did you lie to me and sent me to another dimension, now you're gonna get me sucked into a black hole.
Oh, Hartley, so dramatic.
I have every right to be.
How could you not tell me you're a villain? Well, aside from the fact that we're on the run, it's not really the kind of thing to share with people.
You could have told me.
I thought you wanted to be my friend.
Why would you betray me? Because I'm a villain.
Maybe Amy on the outside, but on the inside, I'm still Havoc.
And the only person I have ever cared about is me.
Well, and my family.
That's why we're on the run.
What do you mean? I guess since we're about to be sucked into the sky, I can tell you.
Well, there won't be a next time because I am going to tell Onyx that this family is done being villains.
What? No way, we can't stop being villains.
It's who we are.
I'll talk to Onyx.
♪♪ - No.
- But my mom worked really hard.
Your mother isn't worthy of leading my evil legions.
She can't even lead her own family.
That's why you were defeated by Starling.
You're all weak.
I don't care who you are.
No one calls my family weak.
How dare you? Destroy her and her family.
- How did it go? - Not good.
Run! - Wow.
- Yeah.
I should have just kept my mouth shut and none of this would have happened.
No! Standing up for your family is always the right thing to do.
You know, you may be Amy on the outside, but after hearing that, I actually gotta respect the Havoc on the inside.
Thanks.
This is bad.
I wish Starling was here.
- To save us? - No, so she gets sucked in, too.
Look, it's Jake! Finally.
You didn't want to come, did you? Of course, not.
Dad pushed me in.
Behind you! Well, way to go, Jake.
Now she knows our secret.
Found your tool belt, Grandma.
I also found your crossbow? What's a woman your age doing with a crossbow? You keep talking about my age and you'll find out.
I'll go check the fuse box.
- No, no! - Hartley, wait! Grandma! Hartley? Hartley? No, um Flickering lights must have messed with your eyes.
That's Colby.
Sup, Celia? Grandma! You will never believe what just- - You know what? Never mind.
I missed you.
Miss me? You've been here the whole time.
I have? Here she goes again, pretending she bumped her head so she doesn't have to go to the dentist.
Well, speaking of which, you should go.
Well, what about the flickering lights? I've grown used to it.
Kind of like a disco.
Hey! Wait.
You didn't tell her what happened.
And risk her knowing the truth? I couldn't do that to my friend.
Look, you may be villains, but everyone deserves a chance to be better.
Your secret's safe with me.
By the way, Jake, you're in the clear.
Amy's the one who told me your secret.
Gotta stay honest.
See ya.
You told her our secret?! Who's the dented can now? Still you.
- What a day, huh? - It certainly was.
Are your parents still freaked out that I know the secret? A little.
It's crazy to think that if we didn't go to another dimension, I might never know the truth.
But now that I do, I guess we're officially friends.
Yeah.
I guess we are.
Just don't tell Jake.
I can't give him that victory.
Okay.
I know your life is upside down right now, now, but maybe I can help you just a little.
You know, teach you not to always be so bad.
I couldn't be called that as long as I can teach you not to always be so nice.
I mean, you're a total doormat.
And you're a sociopath.
Then this should work out well.