The Vince Staples Show (2024) s01e01 Episode Script

1
[car engine running]
[reporter] Shootings at the beach
leave one dead and four injured.
- There are currently no
- [car and radio switch off]
- [tires screeching in the distance]
- [engine accelerating]
- [tires screeching]
- [guns firing]
[helicopter whirring]
[automatic gun firing]
[sirens wailing in the distance]
[gun fires]
[gun fires]
- [doorbell chimes]
- [clerk speaks indistinctly]
[soft rock music playing]
Sunny southern California ♪
Sunken city by the sea ♪
The concrete and the waves
The mansions and the gangs ♪
Make me wonder ♪
Will I ever be ♪
- Good morning, Officer.
- [officer 1] Mmm, good morning!
- [woman] The usual?
- [chuckles] Yeah, you know it.
[chuckles] Oh yeah.
Mmm.
- [music continues faintly]
- Will I ever be free? ♪
It's gonna be a good day!
- [exhales, sniffles]
- [indistinct chatter over radio]
All right.
Let's see here, Harry. Huh?
What do we got?
[engine accelerating]
Jesus!
- [siren wailing]
- [tires screech]
[cop 1] Ran those plates. I think
it's the guy from Abbott Elementary.
[cop 2] The janitor?
[officer 1] No, the rapper boyfriend.
[exhales]
[rap music playing faintly]
[rap music amplifies]
Good morning, Officer.
- [music halts abruptly]
- [camera clicking]
[grunts]
[indistinct chatter]
[indistinct chatter continues]
[marker squeaking]
[Vince clears throat]
[marker continues squeaking]
I do too.
All the time.
Every day I see you is a fine day ♪
Fine ♪
[man 1] Hey, where you from, bro?
North Side, nigga.
I knew that was you, bro.
What I tell you?
I told you it was this nigga.
Hey, what's going on, bro?
My name is Robb.
My dawg, my dawg.
Vince, he in here with me, okay.
Hey, hey, I ain't gonna hold you, bro.
I be messing with the music shit too.
You know what I'm saying?
My shit is genius, bro.
It's genius! I listen to your shit too.
It's It's cool. Like, you be talking
I don't really be fucking
with the music like that, though.
Damn. Why?
You seen what that shit
did to Michael Jackson?
Hmm
Shoot It's my job, for real.
You know, I never even had an iPod.
Not even a iPhone?
Hey, whatever, bro, whatever,
but I I really wanna know, you know,
I came up with a little song
while I was in here.
I had a lot of time, and if I could
just spit that shit for you, bro,
like, I I I feel like you
Hey, look, look.
I ain't in the mood
for that right now, bro.
Aight?
I feel it.
Fasho.
[Robb] Fasho.
[sighs]
[cell doors close]
[Robb beatboxing]
I used to think ♪
I was misunderstood ♪
[gate buzzing]
Until the day they put me on the hood ♪
Listen, V.
And now I'm in this cell
Without no bail ♪
Don't got no money ♪
My lawyer told me, "Go ahead and tell" ♪
Vince!
If I can beat it ♪
- In front of the jury ♪
- [Vince sighs]
[inmate] Hey, you look familiar.
What's your name, homie?
- My name Vince.
- [Robb continues singing]
Nah.
Your other name.
- [Robb] I believe I'll be free ♪
- [bleep]
Oh yeah, I knew that was you.
[Robb continues singing]
When they take us to the back,
me and you, we gonna line it up.
[Robb] Fighting niggas
Every night and day ♪
Fasho.
I'll be free ♪
Hey, bro.
[cell door closes]
Uh, you know that nigga right there?
[Robb] Who, Poke?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, he in here all the time.
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.
He ain't got no squabble
or nothing, though, right?
Mmm
He's not much of a fighter.
- He do be stabbing niggas, though.
- [gate buzzing]
Mm-hmm.
Great form.
Masterful.
[dramatic swell]
[gate buzzing]
[keypad beeps]
- [operator] Hello, and welcome to jail.
- [excited cheers]
You have two free calls.
- Please state your name after the tone.
- The fuck are you doing, nigga?
- [operator] Thank you.
- [Vince] Nigga.
[operator] Please dial the number
you are trying to reach.
[keypad beeping]
[line ringing]
- You have a call from
- [Vince] Nigga.
[operator] If you accept the charges,
press five.
- [door opens]
- Hello?
[Vince] Hey, Bri,
I need you to come bail me out.
[Bri sucks teeth] What you do?
[Vince] Man, do it matter?
Just come get me, nigga.
[Bri] Um, I would,
but I'm at work right now,
and I'm super swamped.
[Vince] Swamped? Man, I might die in here.
You can't take no vacation time off?
[Bri] Please, I'm saving that for Africa.
And besides, Bri don't do jailhouses.
She sell houses.
Did you try to call Deja?
[Vince] I will,
but I don't wanna bother her.
She worked a double shift today.
[Bri] Oh, bro,
that is so sweet and considerate!
I need to find me
a nigga with them qualities.
Ain't you get married?
What that mean? [scoffs]
Ooh, how's the new place?
[Vince] It's cool.
Finally finished unpacking.
We were supposed to have dinner tonight,
but I'm in jail and shit.
- [man] Hey!
- Ooh, look, I gotta go.
- Fight hard.
- [line ends]
Hey, what are you guys doing?
Whup his ass!
[man grunts]
[cell doors clanking]
- Aggressive.
- [keys jingle]
First time?
Nah.
It's just been a minute, that's all.
Yeah.
Hey, this jail shit is crazy, ain't it?
Boy, I tell you, when I was young,
I used to love it in here.
It's like a game, you know?
The cat and mouse.
See, my grandfather always said,
"You do the crime, you do the time."
[chuckles]
I wish he'd have just said,
"Don't do the crime."
[cell door buzzes, opens, shuts]
How old are you, young brother?
Eh, don't matter.
See, time don't pass in here
like it do on the outside.
You make a lot of friends, though.
I know I did.
- [Poke exhaling]
- Oh yeah?
[continues exhaling]
Oh yeah. Yeah, me and him
got a real good rapport.
Road was a little rocky at first,
but, uh, after our last run-in
a couple of weeks ago [chuckles]
yeah, we came to an understanding.
What kind of run-in?
Yeah.
We good now, though.
On speaking terms, at least.
[groans]
Friends ♪
- How many of us have them? ♪
- [Vince] I gotta get the fuck outta here.
Friends ♪
- One you can depend on ♪
- Guard!
Hey, you think I can get my own cell?
You know,
I'm a danger to myself and others.
[cop] Huh.
"I ain't never run from nothing
but the police." [laughs]
Well, I guess we got you, huh?
- No, but seriously, I'm a fan.
- [keys jingle]
Come on out. You gotta meet the guys.
No, no, no, no, no.
I don't really communicate
with law enforcement.
Next thing I know,
you settin' a can of soda next to a nigga,
asking me if I remember anything
about Wednesday night.
Who said anything about a soda?
You know, I can get you a soda
if something happened on Wednesday night
and you wanna tell me about it.
Hmm?
Of course not.
Come on.
I'm not asking.
No, you good.
Norf Norf!
[cop 1] Yeah, bullshit!
You mean to tell me
you beat this case, huh?
Even though they used the lyrics in court?
- Yep, DA threw it right out.
- [exhales]
Hey, who'd you have?
I don't know, Fuller?
Oh, motherfucker.
- Fuller!
- Fuck!
God, I hate that guy.
But But, you know, he's inept,
so that doesn't surprise me. Right?
Hey, bro. Can you be real with us?
Like, what you do?
- I'm innocent.
- Everybody in here is innocent.
[cop 2 chuckles]
Might as well take a look.
Out of curiosity, huh?
Let's see what we got here.
We have Vincent Jamal.
[cop 3] Oh, Jamal.
I like that name.
Okay, so we have a warrant for you
for a [sucks teeth]
- 242.
- Assault?
[cop 2] They got him.
Can I tell you something real?
You gotta invest in that security, man.
That shit is just dumb.
Or why don't you get an entourage?
Just like-minded fellas.
Protecting you from your dirty work,
like, uh, '90s rappers did.
- [cop 3] Yeah.
- Like Tupac. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, yeah, how'd that work out for him?
He died a very violent death.
Thug life.
Damn it. [sighs]
- [gate buzzes]
- [keys jangling]
Hey. Come here.
Next time you have a show,
think I can get some tickets?
If you let me outta here.
[laughs] This fucking guy.
You should try doing some stand-up.
[dramatic music playing]
[ticks echoing]
[cell door buzzes]
Oh shit. The homie in here is up now.
What?
Shh, shh, shh!
[whispers] Vince is asleep right now.
[clears throat]
Hey.
Hey, sweet dreams, bro. Sweet dreams.
Oh, you up now. Top of the morning, bruh.
[Robb beatboxing, vocalizing]
I'm steady misunderstood, stood
Till they put me on the hood ♪
Guard.
Guard!
[keypad beeps, line rings]
- [Vince] Nigga.
- [operator] You're in jail.
[excited cheers]
Welcome back.
You have one free call remaining.
Choose wisely.
[indistinct chatter]
[keypad beeping]
- [operator] You have a call from
- [Vince] Nigga.
[operator] If you accept the charges,
press five.
[sighs]
[keypad beeps]
[Vince] Hey, Ma.
Hey, son.
How you doing? You You busy right now?
I am never too busy for my baby.
All right, good.
I need you to bail me out.
Mmm, I know.
I saw them put you in the backseat.
Me and Eloise,
we was across the street at Gospel Brunch.
And you ain't try to help me?
[mom] You gotta take
some accountability, son.
- I bailed you out last week.
- Well, that was your decision.
Plus, I don't mind
doing a little jail time.
You know, it's good seeing old friends.
So, how did you get
caught up this time anyway?
Man, I was just driving,
and they pulled me over after a U-turn.
Said I was speeding and then they said
I got a warrant for simple assault
or some shit like that.
Well, I have told you
about that shit, Vincent.
- No U-turns. You take three rights
- Three rights and a left. I know.
No, seriously,
a U-turn is just asking for trouble.
Ma, can you pick me up, please?
No, uh-uh, no, no. The answer is no.
- Why?
- 'Cause I don't feel like it, that's why.
Ask that little girl
that you living in sin with.
I'm not finna have Deja come
get me from jail. She not like that.
Son, I just don't know what you see
in that soft-ass little girl.
[sighs]
- I love her, Mom.
- [chuckles] You love a lot of things.
I tell you what. Since you love her,
why don't you call her?
I ain't got time
for this shit right now, Vincent.
- Go on, call that girl.
- [line ends]
[cell door clanks]
[faint indistinct chatter]
[Robb] Are you finna eat that, bro?
- That's all you.
- Ooh, that's great! [laughs]
Huh?
[mutters]got in there
Mmm, it's lit! Mmm!
You are too.
Mm-hmm.
So what brings you in here with us, bro?
You don't strike me as the kind of guy
that makes mistakes.
Shit, everybody make mistakes.
That's like saying
I don't look like I'm 60% water.
Yeah.
You don't really strike me as that either.
You wanna cell up?
No, I'm cool, bro.
I don't plan on being in here that long.
It's really not that bad in here, bro.
Food is good. Firm mattresses, bro.
I really be in here tryin' to network.
Maximize my opportunities.
What, you got a show or something?
Nah.
[clears throat] Well, listen,
if you do decide to extend your stay,
when you get to the back,
you're gonna need a cellmate.
And I'm the best candidate.
I'm just saying,
you don't wanna leave this to chance, bro.
You might end up with cuz.
I ain't worried about it.
[chuckles]
Denial.
That's the first step. bro.
You'll come around.
[sighs]
[inmate grunting]
- [cell door clanks]
- [inmate grunts]
[sniffles, exhales]
- [farts]
- [exhales]
[inmate sighs]
[lighter clicks]
- [inmate coughs]
- [lighter clicks]
[inhales]
[coughs, sniffles]
[exhales]
Oh, man, move your stinkin' ass.
Come on. I'm out.
[Robb] Bro, can I get a hit?
[suspenseful music playing]
[toilet clanks]
[rapid scraping]
- [indistinct chatter over police radio]
- [gate buzzes]
- [door shuts]
- [gate buzzes]
[shank clatters]
[scraping continues]
[Vince exhales]
[sighs]
[exhales]
Fuck it. [sighs]
Psst! Poke.
Hey, bro, um
I feel like we got off on the wrong foot.
You know what I'm saying?
I heard you into cutlery and shit.
I got these Shun knives from Sur La Table.
[sucks teeth] Sells only, like, five ends.
I can debone a fish
in, like, what, two, maybe three minutes.
When it's all said and done, you know,
maybe you should pull up to the house
Why are you talking to me, cuz?
I just don't understand
the root of the problem.
You don't understand?
You one of them niggas.
Could you define "them niggas"?
I mean, I had a full life.
Nigga, you from [bleep]
[clicks tongue] Yeah, man.
But I don't be on that.
I really be on this music shit, bro.
Speaking of which, have you ever
thought about recordin' something?
You got, like, the voice for soul.
Like, it's really Barry White-type shit.
[Robb] What? Vince.
[Robb clears throat]
Why would you lie to me ♪
Robb! You can't see we having a moment?
[Poke] I don't give a fuck
about none of that music shit.
You from over there.
So we got problems, on Bam-Bam.
Bam-Bam
Miss Mary's son?
Nigga, Miss Mary used to watch me.
Yeah, K through third grade.
Back when she had that pink house.
Nigga, I know you been to the pink house.
Yeah, man.
Bake cookies,
oatmeal,
all kind of shit.
You probably know Terrance too, huh?
T-Lo Terrance or Trouble Terrance?
T-Lo. I was just with cuz
before I got in here.
That's my day one nigga, yeah.
- [Poke] That's crazy.
- It's crazy, right?
Yeah, he snitched on me.
And now I'm facing 800 years to life.
And I fucking hate oatmeal.
Don't nobody hate oatmeal.
When they pop these cells open,
I'mma bust your head against the concrete.
- [cell door shuts]
- [keys jingle]
[officer laughs] Yeah. Hey, time to go.
[Robb] No!
No [scoffs]
[cell door shuts]
Vince!
Bro, what about the verse, bro?
Hey, cuz, you from [bleep]too?
Nah, big Poke.
Mm-mm. I don't even like that nigga, bro.
[intercom beeps]
[officer] The next time you do a show,
I'm gonna bring my kids.
They're gonna love it.
They won't understand a lot of it,
but they'll love it.
- We 18 and up, so
- Oh, okay.
So, it turns out
you were innocent after all, huh?
Man, I'm sorry for the case
of mistaken identity, you know.
But don't feel bad.
You know, it happens all the time.
[officer 3 chuckles] Like, a lot.
[officer 2] A lot.
Oh! Have fun at Surf City.
- [Vince] Hmm.
- Fuck, Surf City?
You a Beach Boy too?
Nah, I fucking hate that place.
[indistinct chatter over radio]
Need a ride back to your car?
I'm good, man.
Suit yourself.
[sirens wailing in the distance]
[dogs barking]
[car alarm beeps]
[dogs continue barking]
Towin' my shit, man. I just got that car.
[dogs continue barking]
- [car brakes screech]
- [door opens]
[car door slams]
[man] Hey, cuz.
You Vince Staples?
Yeah.
[man] I knew that was you.
You know my cousin Terrance.
T-Lo Terrance or Trouble Terrance?
T-Lo!
You mind if I take a flick?
Gotta send it to cuz.
Fuck T-Lo.
[man] Okay, okay.
Hey, bro just whipped out on me.
Cuz really like that.
[men grunting on TV]
I'm home.
[men continue grunting]
Hi, baby.
What's up?
Aw!
You actually got the tickets.
- I told you.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
And the food's almost ready.
Are you hungry?
Low-key.
How was your day?
It was cool.
- Anything interesting happen?
- [chuckles]
Not really.
I feel you.
Fine day ♪
Fine ♪
[rap music playing]
God, I get, like, 50% of what he's saying.
- I mean
- I fucking love this song.
He's an asshole,
but he's so fucking talented.
I ain't never ran from nothin'
But the police ♪
[officer 2 laughs] That's us.
I ain't never ran from nothin'
But the police! ♪
From the city
Where the skinny carry strong heat ♪
Norfside, Long Beach
Norfside, Long Beach! ♪
[mellow music playing]
[vocalizing]
[music ends]