Threesome (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

1
-Do you want to come?
-Mhm.
-I want to come first.
-But I am so close.
Are you coming?
We can wait a minute if you'd like.
I love you.
Wait, shh.
Hello?
Fuck it.
What the fuck?
Hello?
Oh, sorry! You didn't answer the
door so I thought you must be out.
-I keep an extra key just in case.
-Yeah, no, it's fine.
I got your note about
the crack on the ceiling
so I'd like to have a look
before I go up to Durham tomorrow.
Like, right now, or?
-Yeah, if that's alright.
-Yeah, sure
Just a quick peek.
Oh, hello!
Yeah,
it's the bloody change of season,
it makes the concrete move.
Yeah, the thing is there's like
dust and what do you call it?
-Plaster.
-plaster falling from it,
so I think it would be good
to get it fixed as soon as possible.
Yeah, of course.
-Sink working alright now then?
-Yeah, works fine, thank you.
Oh, good.
-That's not okay.
-No, I know.
-She can't just come in.
-No.
-As long as she fixes the ceiling.
-You have to respect boundaries.
-She knew what we were doing.
-Maybe that's why she came in.
Did you see
how she was looking at me?
Mhm.
Damn.
It doesn't feel good
that she's got keys.
She can come in when she likes.
When we're sleeping.
-Maybe she's put up cameras.
-No.
It's pretty common, actually.
Maybe that's why it's cracked,
because she put cameras in there.
Stop.
And she sits there, watching you,
touching herself.
Jesus Christ.
What the hell are you doing?
I just want to give her
what she wants.
-You want her to see me?
-Yeah.
-So look at this!
-Stop it.
I'll give her a show.
No, no!
I was joking, I take it back.
Cover yourself!
It feels like you're peeing on me.
-Yeah, I do need to pee.
-No, knock it off.
Don't you have
anything more full on?
Full on?
Something more spicy.
Isn't a black tee good enough?
David, you can't look so plain.
It'll be like last time,
we won't get in.
Siri? Siri?
Give Siri the phone.
-Hey.
-Hey.
Do you have a shirt or blouse
you can lend him?
We need to spice him up a bit.
-Where are you going?
-Tau.
-Where is it?
-Shoreditch.
Sure, I'll see what I have.
What did you have in mind?
-Huh?
-What did you have in mind?
Like a shirt, blouse,
something a bit spicy.
How about this?
Perfect, go with that.
You're an angel.
Mm, here's David again.
I'll call you when I leave.
-I'll see you later, bro.
-Bye.
Looks good.
I'm outta here.
I want to have a life too.
So come with.
I can't, I have to
deal with this shit now.
Study a few hours and then come.
Mmm
I can't.
I've got the study group tomorrow
as well.
-Call me when you're done at least.
-Mm.
-And we'll see.
-Mm.
Have fun.
-Talk to you later.
-Yeah.
-Bye.
-Love you.
-Hey.
-Yes! The bookworm!
-Welcome!
-Thank you.
What're you having?
-Cava.
-No, no, no.
Whisky and cocktails are the thing
here. Chinese porcelain.
Oh?
So you blew off your studies?
There's so much to read,
I can't do it.
-Alright, you good otherwise?
-Yeah, I'm good, it's a lot but
-How about you?
-Yeah, I'm good.
-You haven't talked to Miriam?
-What, about you?
Yeah, she unfollowed me on Instagram,
I think that's a bit uncalled for.
-Let her go, just drop it.
-Nah, I don't think I will.
Sorry, I ordered cava, but
could I have one of these instead.
Do you know what she's doing tonight?
No idea, I haven't talked to her.
-Maybe you should ring her and check.
-No, Mario, I shouldn't.
Sorry,
what language are you speaking?
-What?
-Where are you from?
-We're from Sweden.
-Ah.
-Hello, Mario, pleasure.
-Camille, nice to meet you, Mario.
-And you?
-Siri.
It's funny, I thought you were Dutch.
Cause I just went to Amsterdam
and your language
actually seems really similar.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-So where are you from?
-I'm from France.
-Ooh.
-Yeah, Paris.
Ah, I love France.
-Have you been there?
-No, I haven't.
-I went to Stockholm last year.
-Mm?
Yeah,
I went in January with a friend.
Everyone freaked out,
they were all like,
"What the fuck are you
doing here in January?"
-It's cold.
-Yeah, but I love the city.
You should come to Gothenburg,
it's where I'm from.
It's like the actual capital
of Sweden.
Oh yeah,
Stockholm is more like the ass,
-it's where all the shit comes from.
-Really?
Yeah, I'll take you to Gothenburg
and you can take me to Paris, oui?
Mhm, peut-être. Yes,
I'll take that into consideration.
-Hi.
-Hi.
-You're Swedish too?
-Sorry?
Oh, David, colleague, Swedish.
This is Camille, stranger, French.
Well, if you're not discussing
anything too private
we have a table over there with my
friends, you're welcome to join us.
-Yeah, sure.
-Ooh, fun.
Great, okay.
From Sweden
-Chanter!
-Chanter!
No, it means "to sing".
I'm an artist.
I get one and I think David here
would look pretty good in
Open it.
Oh.
So, what are you doing in London?
I study and David is working
with telemarketing.
-You guys together?
-Yeah.
How long have you been here?
Uhm six months.
Do you like it?
Yeah, it's uhm
It took a while to readjust
and get to know the city but
-it's great.
-I hated it when I first got here.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I couldn't make any fucking sense
of the city.
London is like its own matrix
in a way.
-What does it say?
-Uhm
"Sometimes, in life,
you just need to lay down."
That's great fucking advice,
actually.
You're supposed to share them.
-So how long have you been here?
-Four years.
It's my last year at St Martins.
MA in fine arts.
-I'm writing my thesis this spring.
-About what?
On the discrepancy between
what you aim for as an artist
and how your piece is received.
I think.
It's bullshit, really.
But I have to write about something
and I'm really into gaps.
In various ways.
-What's your major?
-Law and international relations.
-Wow.
-Yeah.
You're the only one around this table
who actually has
a real career waiting.
Do you like it?
Honestly, it's like something
I have to get through
and I hope I survive.
I feel for you.
Alright! We got some shots,
don't be shy everyone, come here!
-Oh my goodness!
-I'll grab one!
-Come on, you need this.
-Yeah.
To the Communist Party of China,
ganbei!
Ganbei!
-We need a club!
-Yes!
-Is it here?
-Yes.
Après vous.
-Where are we going?
-Just go straight and then the left.
Hey, everyone, this is my roommate.
No!
Everyone knows dating in London
is just polite precursor
-to going home to fuck.
-So fucking true.
Every date I've had
in the past 6 months,
has just left me with
massive fucking blue balls.
Oh my god, how many times
do I have to tell you?
You're hooking up with
the wrong people.
It's true babe, everyone you date
-look like starving Victorians.
-Like who?
-Like the Hungarian boy.
-Exactly, what's his name again?
-I don't know.
-Lazar?
Yes, Lazar!
-Please, show them the picture.
-Please!
Come on.
-Okay, okay. No, but
-Alright, maybe
You're not supposed to fuck that guy,
you're supposed to feed him.
Okay, yeah, well, I did have
to feed him as well actually.
-I stole from a girl I fucked once.
-What?!
You stole from a girl you fucked?
Like, in the morning?
There was this yellow drawer
that I walked past,
I opened it, 50 quid, took it.
-Oh my god.
-Get out, nice!
-Yeah, right? That's what I'm saying.
-Win, fucking win.
-Your first time being a prostitute?
-Yes, that's my first time.
-Do you see a future in the business?
-I mean
Come back here.
Let there be light!
So,
how long have you been with David?
Seven years.
-Seven years?
-Mhm.
Wow.
That's really
exceptional.
Where did you guys meet?
In high school.
And you've been together since then?
Yeah.
No break ups?
No fucking other people?
No.
Wow.
-I admire you.
-Yeah?
Yeah,
you must really believe in love.
Don't you?
I don't know.
I fall in love constantly.
But I never
I never really got close enough
to somebody
to actually really love them.
I got my palm read once.
And this guy,
he took my hand and went like
He said that my love line
was non-existent.
So basically I am cursed.
Is it a Swedish specialty? Like
Do you eat that in your country?
Yes!
Siri!
What are you doing?
-Oh that's gross!
-I got it all over myself.
-Yeah, it looks like poop, you know.
-No! Help!
-Wait, oh no! Wait
-Wait, wait, I'm gonna help you.
You're stuck.
Just be careful.
Oh my god, I'm just
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who's the highest of them all?
Me!
We really misunderstand
mother nature.
It's like, you know the smell
of freshly cut grass?
It smells so fucking good.
But actually,
it's a distress chemical.
It's an ultrasonic scream for help.
-It's just awful.
-Yeah
-And it's like vegetables
-Yeah
They're
like living organisms
and we just eat them.
Consume them, it's
-terrible.
-Yeah
-Yeah.
-It's bad.
It's really bad.
And trees
The way they communicate with
each other with their
-With their root network.
-Yes, exactly, it's so crazy.
-Hey.
-Hello.
How out of it are you?
"Sometimes in life,
you just have to lay down."
Let's get out of here.
-What? No
-Yeah, everyone's passed out.
Can't we just stay
for a little while longer?
Siri, come on.
Just a little while.
No.
-Come on.
-No.
-Please, I'm so fucking tired.
-No, come here.
-No
-Come here, to me.
-Come on, David.
-Siri, I'm too tired.
Please.
-Just a little while longer.
-No
You guys can crash here if you
want, I can take the couch.
See? We can sleep here.
-No.
-Yes.
-I want to go home, Siri.
-No
Yes
Come on.
You guys want some privacy?
-Let's go.
-Isn't it nicer to just sleep here?
-I can't handle the train right now.
-Yes.
-No.
-Yes.
No.
-You're so fucking annoying.
-Mhm.
I really like the way you kiss.
Hey, come on, let's go.