Tiny Beautiful Things (2023) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
1
(KEYBOARD CLICKING)
CLARE: Dear Sugar,
I've never written a fan letter before,
but I read your advice column religiously.
Probably because given the state of my life,
I could use some advice.
Where they at? Where they at?
Where they at? Where they at? ♪
Where they at? Where they at?
Where they at? Come on now ♪
If you wanna go and take a ride with me ♪
- (CLARE SINGING ALONG)
- We three-wheeling
in the fo' with the gold D's ♪
Oh, why do I live this way? ♪
- CLARE: Hey, must be the money ♪
- Hey, must be the money ♪
- (CLARE SINGING ALONG)
- If you wanna go and get high with me ♪
- (CLARE SINGING ALONG)
- Smoke an L
in the back of the Benz-E ♪
(CLARE HUMMING)
Oh, must be the money ♪
ELLEN: Which house is it again, dear?
- Uh.
- Who can't find their way home?
Oh, that's it. That's the one,
that's right there.
Great job. (CONTINUES SINGING)
with an attitude ♪
You know, thank you so much,
and happy retirement.
Oh, it's locked.
- Sorry.
- (LOCKS CLICK OPEN, DOOR BEEPING)
Thank you.
Congratulations.
Ooh, must be the money ♪
Shhh.
(CAR DRIVING AWAY)
Noo.
(KNOCKS SOFTLY)
(DISTANT DOG BARKING)
Yes!
(GRUNTING)
(BAG THUDDING)
(SING-SONG) Must be the money!
It's gotta be the money.
- (THUDS)
- (GROANS) Fuck!
- (GROANING)
- Don't you fucking move!
Wha Oh, my God. Danny, it's just me.
- (FOOTSTEPS THUDDING UPSTAIRS)
- Shhh.
Jesus, Clare! Shit, you had me
I was all about to call the cops!
CLARE: Why?
DANNY: What are you doing?
What are you wearing?
CLARE: Oh, I borrowed it.
It was, um It's Hawaiian themed.
I didn't have my keys, and then I
The window was
- And it went so late.
- You're drunk.
Is there chicken? 'Cause it
smells chicken-y in here.
Yeah, we had chicken. Six hours ago.
Ugh. Ugh.
Mmm. Mm.
Aah.
Ah.
There were toasts and speeches
and, ugh, it's all so tragic, you know?
It's like 43 years of work
just whittled down
to a tray of bacon-wrapped pineapple skewers
and Retire-Mints. Get it?
RAE: Mom?
Oh, hey! Frankie, sweetie.
- Rae.
- Hey, hon. You wan You want some mints?
No. No one wants mints. Ever.
(SCOFFS)
So there's no chicken?
We ate all the fucking chicken, Clare.
Why are you here?
Whoa! Okay.
Why is everyone being such assholes?
What's going on?
Are you back?
Wha Huh?
RAE: Well, I thought that you
weren't supposed to be here
or something.
Oh.
(MOANING)
Why am I eating this?
Because you literally took the wheel
when we drove past
Well, you shouldn't have let me.
Shouldn't have let me.
You cannot tell Frankie.
It's Rae.
I hate calling her that.
But she's right, though,
because they are horrible to gay people.
Queer people. Sorry.
But it isn't just their homophobia.
It's it's Really, it's, like,
look here, it's all this crap
that's just gonna be floating
on the planet forever.
You know, wedged into the
nostril of some innocent turtle.
But (MOANS)
the butter and the pickles, it's just
Fucckk!
- And those damn waffle fries.
- Ooh.
So good.
Yeah. It's what makes it all so hard.
Everything good turns out to be bad.
(CHUCKLES)
You're welcome.
You kicked me out. You want a "thank you"?
You do realize you're not the victim?
Well, neither are you, Danny.
- That's great.
- CLARE: Neither are you!
- All right. Absolutely great.
- Yeah, great, great. Thank you!
(DRINK SPLASHES)
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
My life is a mess, Sugar.
My daughter hates me.
My husband kicked me out a few nights ago,
and he thinks I'm crashing on
my best friend's couch,
but I'm not.
I'm sitting on her stoop
waiting for an Uber Pool.
♪
Wondering how the hell
my life ended up here,
looking for comfort
from a woman I don't even know.
And also wondering,
has anyone ever written in
to offer comfort to you?
Then I told my mom,
"Bitch, college is for pussies.
All that money to graduate for what?"
- (BOY CONTINUES TALKING)
- CLARE: I read your response
in this week's column,
and one sentence
buried deep within your advice
compelled me to write.
It was a sentence about
your sister and her cancer.
MALE PASSENGER: I just paid
for a blow job in Bit coin.
CLARE: I'm sorry that she died
too young and too soon.
Oh, wait. This is good.
Wait. Stop, stop, stop.
MALE PASSENGER: Cool pad.
(DEVICE BEEPS)
CLARE: But that's the thing about grief,
you can't cry it away or eat it away
or punch it away.
It's just there,
and you have to survive it.
You have to endure it.
You have to live with it,
which is the hardest thing in the world.
(KEYBOARD CLICKING)
I was 22 when my mother was diagnosed.
FRANKIE: Everyone, ready?
- Yes.
- YOUNG LUCAS: Yes.
Clare Marie Pierce
is an award-winning essay writer
and soon-to-be college graduate with a 4.0,
who is committed to summiting
- Machu Picchu over spring break!
- Mexico!
Come on out, Clare!
- (BOTH CHEERING)
- (DOG BARKING)
And now, a high school senior
who cannot get a tattoo until he graduates,
no matter how compelling his argument,
- and who's
- Is still a virgin!
YOUNG LUCAS: Stop saying that.
worn the same T-shirt
for four days running
and appears to have
no intention of taking it off!
- Get out here, Lucas!
- YOUNG CLARE: Lucas!
(BOTH CHEERING)
Yeah.
Are we ever gonna be too old for this?
We'll be doing this when I'm 80.
- YOUNG CLARE: Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
CLARE: And lately, I keep playing our last
Christmas together
- over and over in my mind.
- (KEYBOARD CLICKING)
FRANKIE: Me first.
Me first.
I get to go first.
Ooh.
YOUNG LUCAS: Oh, no way!
Is it vintage or something?
I knew you wanted one.
It was your father's.
He sent it?
I refurbished it.
- (TOOL CLATTERS)
- Lucas, don't be a little shit.
Somebody gives you something, you take it.
You take it.
I'm not the one who's ever
wanted anything from him.
It's okay. He doesn't have to.
All right, you go ahead, honey.
Jess said that you needed one.
And I thought that it would
be great for New York.
Do you like it?
Yeah, I love it.
Uh I do. I I love it.
(MOCKINGLY) You do? You love it?
Hey.
Uh, it's It's long
and subs substantial.
I thought it was unique.
I just wonder, does it
Does it make more sense to get black?
Because it's dirty in New York,
and it'll probably last longer.
And it's it's probably easy to exchange.
Sure. Sure. You should have
what you want, honey.
CLARE: I hope, in your sister's death,
you'll be able
to do something that I haven't.
- (KEYBOARD CLICKING)
- Create something of her life.
Make it beautiful.
And then, please, tell me how you did it.
Love, Clare.
♪
(CLARE SIGHING)
- (CLARE SIGHING)
- (RESIDENTS INDISTINCT CHATTERS)
CLARE: Uh, that can come down.
SHAN: You were so wasted last night.
How are you even walking this morning?
CLARE: I don't know, Shan.
Somehow I stagger on,
despite fielding the vitriol
of an entitled millennial.
SHAN: I mean, literally walking.
When you fell off the stage
after Me and Bobby McGee,
I thought you, like,
broke a hip or something.
Would you just take the fucking
sign down, Shan? Thank you.
Oh, Bev's daughter wanted you
to come by. Room 19.
She told me it was urgent.
- When?
- Like, an hour ago.
(CLARE SCOFFS)
(CLARE SIGHS) Dammit.
SHAN: And I'm a Zoomer.
CLARE (SOFTLY): Morning.
CLARE: Krystal, I'm so sorry
to keep you waiting.
I just got your message.
- Did you sleep in here last night?
- Uh
My mom said the admissions lady
slept here last night.
I know that you get lonely sometimes.
And even though you know
that I can't sleep in here,
I will always keep you company
and make sure you're feeling cozy
and all tucked in, right?
- Right?
- Mmm.
(WHISPERING) It's the Alzheimer's.
- MAN: There you go.
- Thank you.
Gentleman. Hm.
- What?
- Wow.
CLARE: Oh, my God!
Sam! What're you doing here?
- SAM: Oh, it's been
- CLARE: Been forever! Shit!
- You look great!
- Wha Oh.
- Wait, when was the last time
- I don't know!
Was it, uh, Bread Loaf?
Uh, uh, City Lights. Hannah's reading.
Oh, fuck! Yeah.
Aah. Wait, are you still at,
uh, uh, The Believer?
No. They folded in March.
But I left for The Mantros years ago.
Oh, I love The Mantros.
Essays Dear Sugar
I know! I got your fan letter last night!
You wrote into Dear Sugar.
I'm Sugar.
I'll explain. Do you want to go somewhere?
Do you still not drive?
An advice column is easy clicks.
But who who wants to get advice
- from some middle-aged White dude?
- I've literally been reading
this column for the last three months,
and it's fucking you?
- How can it be you?
- I'm detecting some disdain here.
Well, you're pretending to be a a woman?
- I know. I know!
- What?
I am living a lie.
But then you wrote in.
And I saw your name
and I remembered your writing
and the essay That fucking essay.
And I realized that this woman
that I'm pretending to be,
you know, working class,
pulled herself up by her bootstraps,
- kinda disheveled
- Okay.
- She's literally you!
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay, just take a left at Elm.
- You should be
the one doing this.
Doing what?
- Being Sugar!
- What? No.
I mean, it doesn't pay.
And And, you know,
there's no credit 'cause it's anonymous.
But I would be your point.
And all you have to do is answer,
like, one letter a week and
Sam, stop it.
I'm not giving anybody advice.
My life is a fucking shit show!
And I
I'm not a writer!
You're one of the best writers I know.
You didn't get a book deal
off of that essay for nothing.
Doesn't count if you don't write the book.
Everything counts, Sugar.
Don't call me that!
I'm sorry about your sister.
Clare, I don't have
a fucking sister. I made it up.
You made up someone having fucking cancer?
Take a right.
SAM: Yes, I made it all up!
- (CLARE SCOFFS)
- SAM: This is why I need you!
Oh, you are the worst, Sam!
I can't believe I almost ever
slept with you. Pull over!
- SAM: What are you doing?
- CLARE: I'm I'm getting out.
Wait, what do you mean, "almost"?
We never slept together? Why not?
'Cause you're an asshole.
Oh, so you're done with me now? That's it?
I have therapy. Thank you for the ride.
- What? You're an asshole!
- Okay, fine.
SAM: No, no, no, no. Here. Wait. I
I printed out the letters
that I didn't answer
because I can't (MUMBLES)
Just read 'em.
And if you want, just answer one.
(CLARE LAUGHS)
Everyone's lives are a fucking shit show!
People, they need help.
You said it yourself,
"Create something of her life.
Make it beautiful."
EMPLOYEE: Let me see if I can help you.
Did you happen to save the receipt?
I did not save the receipt.
It was final sale.
EMPLOYEE: I I can try to look it up.
FRANKIE: I appreciate that.
EMPLOYEE: I may need to talk
to my supervisor.
- Did it work out?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's okay?
- It's okay.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
You're late.
I'm actually two minutes early
'cause she's always five minutes late, so.
- (PHONE DINGS)
- CLARE: (SOFTLY) Now,
make sure that's off.
Who is it?
- Hmm?
- DANNY: (SCOFFS) Lucas again?
MEL: I'm glad you both are
choosing to be here today.
I know, in the past, that hasn't
always been the case.
This feels like a particularly
hard moment in your marriage.
I think a lot has been said.
And maybe a lot hasn't been said.
Yeah. No, um, I I feel that same way.
Honestly, it's, um
Uh
Yeah.
Jung once said,
"I am not what has happened to me.
I am what I choose to become."
Does that bring up anything for you, Clare?
No.
How long am I supposed
to stay out of my own home?
Well, how long do you think you
need to stay out of your home?
What are we doing?
What is this space supposed to accomplish?
Or is it just, like,
one long, torturous experiment
to slowly turn my own daughter against me?
It was her college fund!
Part of. That he will pay back!
You just gave it away
without even talking to me!
What? You just thought I wouldn't notice?
CLARE: What did you want me to fucking do?
Leave him homeless?
It was our childhood home!
It's my mother's house!
He lives there! And it was under water.
Yeah, because he fucked up.
Yeah, he fucks up all the time!
Yeah, he does fuck up all the time and
Yeah, fine, fine!
But family takes care of family.
I'm it for him. What would you do?
Would you leave me on the fucking street?
Oh! (SCOFFS)
MEL: Clare, have you ever heard
of the phrase
"financial infidelity"?
Oh, my God.
MEL: It can be as destabilizing
and damaging as sexual
infidelity. Even more so.
Yeah. Okay. That's not even
in the same ballpark,
- 'cause there's no betrayal here.
- Right.
- I needed to take care of my brother.
- (DANNY SCOFFS)
Yeah, when you do something wrong, it's
It's different rules.
This is not about rules.
Not everybody comes from
where you come from,
- or just or, you know,
- DANNY: Jesus, this.
Starts life with an even playing field.
I'm a Black man in America. I know people
don't come from
an equal playing field, Clare.
That's not what I mean.
I'm talking about being rich!
- I grew up middle class.
- Yeah, that's rich.
What do you want me to say?
My brother's a fuck-up. I'm a fuck-up.
Okay, I'm an awful person.
I'm awful. I'm horrible. That's it.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to fucking say.
Let's just start
with how you're feeling, hm?
I am feeling hungry. I am feeling tired.
I'm feeling like a shell of a person.
- Like I'm staring into an abyss
- I get it.
I mean, I'm not there yet,
but I think it's really common
for women your age to feel this way.
You've spoken before
about your insecurities
with getting older and
I thought we were talking
about me giving money to my brother.
And with the age gap
- between you and Danny
- It's not that big.
MEL: And the way our society
treats women over 50 as irrelevant
- I'm 49!
- You'll be 50 in a month.
Women over 50 are treated
as if they are barely sexual beings.
Their beauty is fading, or at least
our conventional ideas of beauty.
Because of that, their power wanes.
Their wants and desires are
considered as an afterthought.
Okay.
(KEYS JINGLE)
(OFFICE CROWD CHATTERING)
(ELEVATOR WHIRLING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGING)
- Oh.
- (DOOR CLOSES)
(MUFFLED CONVERSATION)
(DANNY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
♪
- (BAR MUSIC PLAYING)
- (PATRONS LAUGHING, CHATTERING)
I mean, it's therapy!
It's not office hours.
You don't stick around after class!
You know, that's like a cesspool
full of bacteria, right?
Okay, why don't you ask your hot
dishwasher to clean it out?
Oh, well, maybe I will.
- Hello.
- MACARIO: There you go.
Oh, my God!
AMY: Thank you. (LAUGHING)
Jesus Christ, Amy!
(AMY SNICKERING)
I'm naughty!
Uh, are they having sex?
They Do they wanna have sex?
Is couple's therapy some,
you know, sick psycho foreplay
where they're just telepathically
jerking each other off in front of me?
And is my insurance paying for it?
AMY: Oh, my God!
Maybe I should be a couple's therapist.
CLARE: I mean, I'm the one who found her!
He didn't even wanna go!
And now he's like, what He's what?
He's, like, fucking some woman
who decorates her office with
gnomes grabbing their
own weird stone vaginas?
Okay. Danny loves you.
He's not fucking his therapist
or any stone, uh, vaginas, okay?
She called me barely a woman.
Am I barely a woman?
I mean, she probably said it to get laid.
- Thanks, Amy.
- AMY: Hi there.
(CAR ENGINE)
(CAR BREAKS SQUEAKING)
Thanks.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
Hey.
Hey.
- (SOFTLY) Hey.
- ("CANNONBALL" BY THE BREEDERS PLAYING)
(MOANING)
Spitting in a wishing well ♪
Blown to hell, crash ♪
(YOUNG CLARE MOANING)
I know you're a real cuckoo ♪
- (YOUNG CLARE EXHALES SHARPLY)
- (RUMBLING)
- (CLARE GRUNTING) Okay.
- ZACH: I can't get it in.
CLARE: No, it's because, uh
It's it's The angle is wrong
- Okay, yeah, maybe we Yeah, let's go.
- Yeah.
(SQUISHING)
What the f Wait,
what the fuck is happening?
Wait, is this a waterbed?
Oh, my God! (LAUGHING) Oh, my God.
Am I in 1979?
Am I in a Am I trapped
in a fucking Steely Dan song?
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- What?
(CLARE LAUGHING AND CRYING)
Oh.
- Oh, my God.
- ZACH: Are you okay?
(CLARE CRYING)
I am not okay.
Wait, are you married?
- What the
- The ring on your finger?
Are you gonna fucking judge me?
You have a fucking waterbed!
So?
(CLARE EXHALES SHARPLY)
ZACH: And I like Steely Dan.
Well, they're a great band.
- (GATE MOTOR)
- (DISTANT DOG BARKING)
(PHONE CHIMES)
♪
(BUS ENGINE)
(DEEP BREATH)
WOMAN: Dear Sugar,
I'm 22, and my question is short.
What would you tell your 20-something self
if you could talk to her now?
Love, Seeking Wisdom.
♪
CLARE: Dear
Dear
Dear Seeking Wisdom.
What would I tell my 22-year-old self?
I'd say, stop worrying whether you're fat.
Feed yourself, literally.
The people worthy of your love
You look happy.
CLARE: will love you more for this.
I'd also say that most things
will be okay eventually,
but not everything.
One afternoon in your 20s,
when you've gotten yourself ridiculously
tangled up with heroin,
you'll be riding the bus and thinking
what a worthless piece of shit you are.
A little girl will
get on the bus with her mother,
holding the strings of two purple balloons.
She will offer you one of the balloons,
but you won't take it
because you believe
you no longer have a right
to such tiny beautiful things.
You're wrong.
You do.
EMPLOYEE: That's $127.62. I'm so sorry.
CLARE: And someday, you'll look
back on that one Christmas,
when your mother gave you
a mustard-yellow coat
that she'd saved for months to buy.
♪
Don't hold it up and say it's longer than
you like your coats to be,
and too puffy, and possibly even too warm.
Because your mother
will be dead by spring
(DOOR OPENS)
and that coat will be the
last gift she ever gave you.
RAE: Are you okay?
I love you. (SNIFFLES)
You know that, right?
Ab About the money,
it's it's not gone.
It's not about the money.
Then what?
Do you want me to bring that in?
CLARE: And you will regret
the small thing you didn't say
for the rest of your life.
RAE: Have a good night.
You too.
When a gift is given,
say "thank you".
Mom?
You dropped something.
CLARE: When a gift is given,
say "thank you".
When a gift is given
(DOOR CLOSES)
Thank you.
♪
I'm trying to tell you
something 'bout my life ♪
Maybe give me insight
between black and white ♪
And the best thing
that you ever done for me ♪
Is to help me
take my life less seriously ♪
It's only life after all ♪
I went to the doctor ♪
I went to the mountains ♪
I looked to the children ♪
I drank from the fountains ♪
There's more than one answer
to these questions ♪
Pointing me in a crooked line ♪
And the less I seek my source ♪
The closer I am to fine ♪
Closer I am to fine ♪
Closer I am to fine ♪
(KEYBOARD CLICKING)
CLARE: Dear Sugar,
I've never written a fan letter before,
but I read your advice column religiously.
Probably because given the state of my life,
I could use some advice.
Where they at? Where they at?
Where they at? Where they at? ♪
Where they at? Where they at?
Where they at? Come on now ♪
If you wanna go and take a ride with me ♪
- (CLARE SINGING ALONG)
- We three-wheeling
in the fo' with the gold D's ♪
Oh, why do I live this way? ♪
- CLARE: Hey, must be the money ♪
- Hey, must be the money ♪
- (CLARE SINGING ALONG)
- If you wanna go and get high with me ♪
- (CLARE SINGING ALONG)
- Smoke an L
in the back of the Benz-E ♪
(CLARE HUMMING)
Oh, must be the money ♪
ELLEN: Which house is it again, dear?
- Uh.
- Who can't find their way home?
Oh, that's it. That's the one,
that's right there.
Great job. (CONTINUES SINGING)
with an attitude ♪
You know, thank you so much,
and happy retirement.
Oh, it's locked.
- Sorry.
- (LOCKS CLICK OPEN, DOOR BEEPING)
Thank you.
Congratulations.
Ooh, must be the money ♪
Shhh.
(CAR DRIVING AWAY)
Noo.
(KNOCKS SOFTLY)
(DISTANT DOG BARKING)
Yes!
(GRUNTING)
(BAG THUDDING)
(SING-SONG) Must be the money!
It's gotta be the money.
- (THUDS)
- (GROANS) Fuck!
- (GROANING)
- Don't you fucking move!
Wha Oh, my God. Danny, it's just me.
- (FOOTSTEPS THUDDING UPSTAIRS)
- Shhh.
Jesus, Clare! Shit, you had me
I was all about to call the cops!
CLARE: Why?
DANNY: What are you doing?
What are you wearing?
CLARE: Oh, I borrowed it.
It was, um It's Hawaiian themed.
I didn't have my keys, and then I
The window was
- And it went so late.
- You're drunk.
Is there chicken? 'Cause it
smells chicken-y in here.
Yeah, we had chicken. Six hours ago.
Ugh. Ugh.
Mmm. Mm.
Aah.
Ah.
There were toasts and speeches
and, ugh, it's all so tragic, you know?
It's like 43 years of work
just whittled down
to a tray of bacon-wrapped pineapple skewers
and Retire-Mints. Get it?
RAE: Mom?
Oh, hey! Frankie, sweetie.
- Rae.
- Hey, hon. You wan You want some mints?
No. No one wants mints. Ever.
(SCOFFS)
So there's no chicken?
We ate all the fucking chicken, Clare.
Why are you here?
Whoa! Okay.
Why is everyone being such assholes?
What's going on?
Are you back?
Wha Huh?
RAE: Well, I thought that you
weren't supposed to be here
or something.
Oh.
(MOANING)
Why am I eating this?
Because you literally took the wheel
when we drove past
Well, you shouldn't have let me.
Shouldn't have let me.
You cannot tell Frankie.
It's Rae.
I hate calling her that.
But she's right, though,
because they are horrible to gay people.
Queer people. Sorry.
But it isn't just their homophobia.
It's it's Really, it's, like,
look here, it's all this crap
that's just gonna be floating
on the planet forever.
You know, wedged into the
nostril of some innocent turtle.
But (MOANS)
the butter and the pickles, it's just
Fucckk!
- And those damn waffle fries.
- Ooh.
So good.
Yeah. It's what makes it all so hard.
Everything good turns out to be bad.
(CHUCKLES)
You're welcome.
You kicked me out. You want a "thank you"?
You do realize you're not the victim?
Well, neither are you, Danny.
- That's great.
- CLARE: Neither are you!
- All right. Absolutely great.
- Yeah, great, great. Thank you!
(DRINK SPLASHES)
(PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING)
My life is a mess, Sugar.
My daughter hates me.
My husband kicked me out a few nights ago,
and he thinks I'm crashing on
my best friend's couch,
but I'm not.
I'm sitting on her stoop
waiting for an Uber Pool.
♪
Wondering how the hell
my life ended up here,
looking for comfort
from a woman I don't even know.
And also wondering,
has anyone ever written in
to offer comfort to you?
Then I told my mom,
"Bitch, college is for pussies.
All that money to graduate for what?"
- (BOY CONTINUES TALKING)
- CLARE: I read your response
in this week's column,
and one sentence
buried deep within your advice
compelled me to write.
It was a sentence about
your sister and her cancer.
MALE PASSENGER: I just paid
for a blow job in Bit coin.
CLARE: I'm sorry that she died
too young and too soon.
Oh, wait. This is good.
Wait. Stop, stop, stop.
MALE PASSENGER: Cool pad.
(DEVICE BEEPS)
CLARE: But that's the thing about grief,
you can't cry it away or eat it away
or punch it away.
It's just there,
and you have to survive it.
You have to endure it.
You have to live with it,
which is the hardest thing in the world.
(KEYBOARD CLICKING)
I was 22 when my mother was diagnosed.
FRANKIE: Everyone, ready?
- Yes.
- YOUNG LUCAS: Yes.
Clare Marie Pierce
is an award-winning essay writer
and soon-to-be college graduate with a 4.0,
who is committed to summiting
- Machu Picchu over spring break!
- Mexico!
Come on out, Clare!
- (BOTH CHEERING)
- (DOG BARKING)
And now, a high school senior
who cannot get a tattoo until he graduates,
no matter how compelling his argument,
- and who's
- Is still a virgin!
YOUNG LUCAS: Stop saying that.
worn the same T-shirt
for four days running
and appears to have
no intention of taking it off!
- Get out here, Lucas!
- YOUNG CLARE: Lucas!
(BOTH CHEERING)
Yeah.
Are we ever gonna be too old for this?
We'll be doing this when I'm 80.
- YOUNG CLARE: Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
CLARE: And lately, I keep playing our last
Christmas together
- over and over in my mind.
- (KEYBOARD CLICKING)
FRANKIE: Me first.
Me first.
I get to go first.
Ooh.
YOUNG LUCAS: Oh, no way!
Is it vintage or something?
I knew you wanted one.
It was your father's.
He sent it?
I refurbished it.
- (TOOL CLATTERS)
- Lucas, don't be a little shit.
Somebody gives you something, you take it.
You take it.
I'm not the one who's ever
wanted anything from him.
It's okay. He doesn't have to.
All right, you go ahead, honey.
Jess said that you needed one.
And I thought that it would
be great for New York.
Do you like it?
Yeah, I love it.
Uh I do. I I love it.
(MOCKINGLY) You do? You love it?
Hey.
Uh, it's It's long
and subs substantial.
I thought it was unique.
I just wonder, does it
Does it make more sense to get black?
Because it's dirty in New York,
and it'll probably last longer.
And it's it's probably easy to exchange.
Sure. Sure. You should have
what you want, honey.
CLARE: I hope, in your sister's death,
you'll be able
to do something that I haven't.
- (KEYBOARD CLICKING)
- Create something of her life.
Make it beautiful.
And then, please, tell me how you did it.
Love, Clare.
♪
(CLARE SIGHING)
- (CLARE SIGHING)
- (RESIDENTS INDISTINCT CHATTERS)
CLARE: Uh, that can come down.
SHAN: You were so wasted last night.
How are you even walking this morning?
CLARE: I don't know, Shan.
Somehow I stagger on,
despite fielding the vitriol
of an entitled millennial.
SHAN: I mean, literally walking.
When you fell off the stage
after Me and Bobby McGee,
I thought you, like,
broke a hip or something.
Would you just take the fucking
sign down, Shan? Thank you.
Oh, Bev's daughter wanted you
to come by. Room 19.
She told me it was urgent.
- When?
- Like, an hour ago.
(CLARE SCOFFS)
(CLARE SIGHS) Dammit.
SHAN: And I'm a Zoomer.
CLARE (SOFTLY): Morning.
CLARE: Krystal, I'm so sorry
to keep you waiting.
I just got your message.
- Did you sleep in here last night?
- Uh
My mom said the admissions lady
slept here last night.
I know that you get lonely sometimes.
And even though you know
that I can't sleep in here,
I will always keep you company
and make sure you're feeling cozy
and all tucked in, right?
- Right?
- Mmm.
(WHISPERING) It's the Alzheimer's.
- MAN: There you go.
- Thank you.
Gentleman. Hm.
- What?
- Wow.
CLARE: Oh, my God!
Sam! What're you doing here?
- SAM: Oh, it's been
- CLARE: Been forever! Shit!
- You look great!
- Wha Oh.
- Wait, when was the last time
- I don't know!
Was it, uh, Bread Loaf?
Uh, uh, City Lights. Hannah's reading.
Oh, fuck! Yeah.
Aah. Wait, are you still at,
uh, uh, The Believer?
No. They folded in March.
But I left for The Mantros years ago.
Oh, I love The Mantros.
Essays Dear Sugar
I know! I got your fan letter last night!
You wrote into Dear Sugar.
I'm Sugar.
I'll explain. Do you want to go somewhere?
Do you still not drive?
An advice column is easy clicks.
But who who wants to get advice
- from some middle-aged White dude?
- I've literally been reading
this column for the last three months,
and it's fucking you?
- How can it be you?
- I'm detecting some disdain here.
Well, you're pretending to be a a woman?
- I know. I know!
- What?
I am living a lie.
But then you wrote in.
And I saw your name
and I remembered your writing
and the essay That fucking essay.
And I realized that this woman
that I'm pretending to be,
you know, working class,
pulled herself up by her bootstraps,
- kinda disheveled
- Okay.
- She's literally you!
- Okay. Okay.
- Okay, just take a left at Elm.
- You should be
the one doing this.
Doing what?
- Being Sugar!
- What? No.
I mean, it doesn't pay.
And And, you know,
there's no credit 'cause it's anonymous.
But I would be your point.
And all you have to do is answer,
like, one letter a week and
Sam, stop it.
I'm not giving anybody advice.
My life is a fucking shit show!
And I
I'm not a writer!
You're one of the best writers I know.
You didn't get a book deal
off of that essay for nothing.
Doesn't count if you don't write the book.
Everything counts, Sugar.
Don't call me that!
I'm sorry about your sister.
Clare, I don't have
a fucking sister. I made it up.
You made up someone having fucking cancer?
Take a right.
SAM: Yes, I made it all up!
- (CLARE SCOFFS)
- SAM: This is why I need you!
Oh, you are the worst, Sam!
I can't believe I almost ever
slept with you. Pull over!
- SAM: What are you doing?
- CLARE: I'm I'm getting out.
Wait, what do you mean, "almost"?
We never slept together? Why not?
'Cause you're an asshole.
Oh, so you're done with me now? That's it?
I have therapy. Thank you for the ride.
- What? You're an asshole!
- Okay, fine.
SAM: No, no, no, no. Here. Wait. I
I printed out the letters
that I didn't answer
because I can't (MUMBLES)
Just read 'em.
And if you want, just answer one.
(CLARE LAUGHS)
Everyone's lives are a fucking shit show!
People, they need help.
You said it yourself,
"Create something of her life.
Make it beautiful."
EMPLOYEE: Let me see if I can help you.
Did you happen to save the receipt?
I did not save the receipt.
It was final sale.
EMPLOYEE: I I can try to look it up.
FRANKIE: I appreciate that.
EMPLOYEE: I may need to talk
to my supervisor.
- Did it work out?
- Mm-hmm.
- It's okay?
- It's okay.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
You're late.
I'm actually two minutes early
'cause she's always five minutes late, so.
- (PHONE DINGS)
- CLARE: (SOFTLY) Now,
make sure that's off.
Who is it?
- Hmm?
- DANNY: (SCOFFS) Lucas again?
MEL: I'm glad you both are
choosing to be here today.
I know, in the past, that hasn't
always been the case.
This feels like a particularly
hard moment in your marriage.
I think a lot has been said.
And maybe a lot hasn't been said.
Yeah. No, um, I I feel that same way.
Honestly, it's, um
Uh
Yeah.
Jung once said,
"I am not what has happened to me.
I am what I choose to become."
Does that bring up anything for you, Clare?
No.
How long am I supposed
to stay out of my own home?
Well, how long do you think you
need to stay out of your home?
What are we doing?
What is this space supposed to accomplish?
Or is it just, like,
one long, torturous experiment
to slowly turn my own daughter against me?
It was her college fund!
Part of. That he will pay back!
You just gave it away
without even talking to me!
What? You just thought I wouldn't notice?
CLARE: What did you want me to fucking do?
Leave him homeless?
It was our childhood home!
It's my mother's house!
He lives there! And it was under water.
Yeah, because he fucked up.
Yeah, he fucks up all the time!
Yeah, he does fuck up all the time and
Yeah, fine, fine!
But family takes care of family.
I'm it for him. What would you do?
Would you leave me on the fucking street?
Oh! (SCOFFS)
MEL: Clare, have you ever heard
of the phrase
"financial infidelity"?
Oh, my God.
MEL: It can be as destabilizing
and damaging as sexual
infidelity. Even more so.
Yeah. Okay. That's not even
in the same ballpark,
- 'cause there's no betrayal here.
- Right.
- I needed to take care of my brother.
- (DANNY SCOFFS)
Yeah, when you do something wrong, it's
It's different rules.
This is not about rules.
Not everybody comes from
where you come from,
- or just or, you know,
- DANNY: Jesus, this.
Starts life with an even playing field.
I'm a Black man in America. I know people
don't come from
an equal playing field, Clare.
That's not what I mean.
I'm talking about being rich!
- I grew up middle class.
- Yeah, that's rich.
What do you want me to say?
My brother's a fuck-up. I'm a fuck-up.
Okay, I'm an awful person.
I'm awful. I'm horrible. That's it.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to fucking say.
Let's just start
with how you're feeling, hm?
I am feeling hungry. I am feeling tired.
I'm feeling like a shell of a person.
- Like I'm staring into an abyss
- I get it.
I mean, I'm not there yet,
but I think it's really common
for women your age to feel this way.
You've spoken before
about your insecurities
with getting older and
I thought we were talking
about me giving money to my brother.
And with the age gap
- between you and Danny
- It's not that big.
MEL: And the way our society
treats women over 50 as irrelevant
- I'm 49!
- You'll be 50 in a month.
Women over 50 are treated
as if they are barely sexual beings.
Their beauty is fading, or at least
our conventional ideas of beauty.
Because of that, their power wanes.
Their wants and desires are
considered as an afterthought.
Okay.
(KEYS JINGLE)
(OFFICE CROWD CHATTERING)
(ELEVATOR WHIRLING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGING)
- Oh.
- (DOOR CLOSES)
(MUFFLED CONVERSATION)
(DANNY SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
♪
- (BAR MUSIC PLAYING)
- (PATRONS LAUGHING, CHATTERING)
I mean, it's therapy!
It's not office hours.
You don't stick around after class!
You know, that's like a cesspool
full of bacteria, right?
Okay, why don't you ask your hot
dishwasher to clean it out?
Oh, well, maybe I will.
- Hello.
- MACARIO: There you go.
Oh, my God!
AMY: Thank you. (LAUGHING)
Jesus Christ, Amy!
(AMY SNICKERING)
I'm naughty!
Uh, are they having sex?
They Do they wanna have sex?
Is couple's therapy some,
you know, sick psycho foreplay
where they're just telepathically
jerking each other off in front of me?
And is my insurance paying for it?
AMY: Oh, my God!
Maybe I should be a couple's therapist.
CLARE: I mean, I'm the one who found her!
He didn't even wanna go!
And now he's like, what He's what?
He's, like, fucking some woman
who decorates her office with
gnomes grabbing their
own weird stone vaginas?
Okay. Danny loves you.
He's not fucking his therapist
or any stone, uh, vaginas, okay?
She called me barely a woman.
Am I barely a woman?
I mean, she probably said it to get laid.
- Thanks, Amy.
- AMY: Hi there.
(CAR ENGINE)
(CAR BREAKS SQUEAKING)
Thanks.
(CAR DOOR CLOSES)
Hey.
Hey.
- (SOFTLY) Hey.
- ("CANNONBALL" BY THE BREEDERS PLAYING)
(MOANING)
Spitting in a wishing well ♪
Blown to hell, crash ♪
(YOUNG CLARE MOANING)
I know you're a real cuckoo ♪
- (YOUNG CLARE EXHALES SHARPLY)
- (RUMBLING)
- (CLARE GRUNTING) Okay.
- ZACH: I can't get it in.
CLARE: No, it's because, uh
It's it's The angle is wrong
- Okay, yeah, maybe we Yeah, let's go.
- Yeah.
(SQUISHING)
What the f Wait,
what the fuck is happening?
Wait, is this a waterbed?
Oh, my God! (LAUGHING) Oh, my God.
Am I in 1979?
Am I in a Am I trapped
in a fucking Steely Dan song?
Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- What?
(CLARE LAUGHING AND CRYING)
Oh.
- Oh, my God.
- ZACH: Are you okay?
(CLARE CRYING)
I am not okay.
Wait, are you married?
- What the
- The ring on your finger?
Are you gonna fucking judge me?
You have a fucking waterbed!
So?
(CLARE EXHALES SHARPLY)
ZACH: And I like Steely Dan.
Well, they're a great band.
- (GATE MOTOR)
- (DISTANT DOG BARKING)
(PHONE CHIMES)
♪
(BUS ENGINE)
(DEEP BREATH)
WOMAN: Dear Sugar,
I'm 22, and my question is short.
What would you tell your 20-something self
if you could talk to her now?
Love, Seeking Wisdom.
♪
CLARE: Dear
Dear
Dear Seeking Wisdom.
What would I tell my 22-year-old self?
I'd say, stop worrying whether you're fat.
Feed yourself, literally.
The people worthy of your love
You look happy.
CLARE: will love you more for this.
I'd also say that most things
will be okay eventually,
but not everything.
One afternoon in your 20s,
when you've gotten yourself ridiculously
tangled up with heroin,
you'll be riding the bus and thinking
what a worthless piece of shit you are.
A little girl will
get on the bus with her mother,
holding the strings of two purple balloons.
She will offer you one of the balloons,
but you won't take it
because you believe
you no longer have a right
to such tiny beautiful things.
You're wrong.
You do.
EMPLOYEE: That's $127.62. I'm so sorry.
CLARE: And someday, you'll look
back on that one Christmas,
when your mother gave you
a mustard-yellow coat
that she'd saved for months to buy.
♪
Don't hold it up and say it's longer than
you like your coats to be,
and too puffy, and possibly even too warm.
Because your mother
will be dead by spring
(DOOR OPENS)
and that coat will be the
last gift she ever gave you.
RAE: Are you okay?
I love you. (SNIFFLES)
You know that, right?
Ab About the money,
it's it's not gone.
It's not about the money.
Then what?
Do you want me to bring that in?
CLARE: And you will regret
the small thing you didn't say
for the rest of your life.
RAE: Have a good night.
You too.
When a gift is given,
say "thank you".
Mom?
You dropped something.
CLARE: When a gift is given,
say "thank you".
When a gift is given
(DOOR CLOSES)
Thank you.
♪
I'm trying to tell you
something 'bout my life ♪
Maybe give me insight
between black and white ♪
And the best thing
that you ever done for me ♪
Is to help me
take my life less seriously ♪
It's only life after all ♪
I went to the doctor ♪
I went to the mountains ♪
I looked to the children ♪
I drank from the fountains ♪
There's more than one answer
to these questions ♪
Pointing me in a crooked line ♪
And the less I seek my source ♪
The closer I am to fine ♪
Closer I am to fine ♪
Closer I am to fine ♪