Totally Spies! (2001) s01e01 Episode Script

1
THEME SONG: Here we go.
We're getting on the road till
we stop, and then we'll shop.
S one, two, three.
Now baby, here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go on a
mission undercover,
and we're in control.
Here we go.
Here we go.
We're totally spies, so
we'll get on with the show.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Who's this Ricky
Mathis chump, anyway?
I don't know, but his
fans sure seem to like him.
We can't keep his lame, pretty
boy single on the shelf.
[banging on door]
[screaming]
[music playing]
CLOVER: So, Sammy,
any chance I could
borrow your cashmere
belly sweater tomorrow?
SAMANTHA: Sure, that's
what best friends are for.
Hey, what about me?
Don't be crazy, Alex.
We can't possibly wear Sam's
sweater at the same time.
We'll totally stretch it out.
No, Clover, I meant, aren't
I your best friend too?
Aw, well of course
you are, silly.
And that's why I'm going to
borrow your leopard print
sandals tomorrow.
[gasps]
Clover, what is it?
What's wrong?
Yeah, what's
with all the drool?
I think--
I think I'm in love.
Must find out who he is.
[strumming on guitar]
Hi, I'm Clover.
SAMANTHA: Is it
me, or does Clover
fall in love more
often than Mandy
maxes out her credit card?
What do you say we
go out after school?
I'll even let you buy
me a nonfat latte.
You will?
OK.
Sorry, Clover.
Daimon's already got
plans after school.
He's going to the
mall with yours truly.
Oh yeah, that's
right, the mall.
[fire sirens]
Well, no big deal.
I was only trying
to do him a favor
because he's new around here.
[music playing]
Clover!
Clover!
Don't worry, Clover.
I'll buy you a nonfat
latte after school.
Besides, wouldn't you
rather hang out with us
than some dimwit musician?
Yeah, I guess so.
Only I just can't
help liking Daimon.
Call me crazy, but I just
have thing for musicians.
I gotta find a way to
get his attention off
of Mandy and onto me.
[screaming]
Is it me, or do our missions
only occur during times
of major personal crisis?
Well, so nice of
you girls to drop in.
Nice for some of us.
ALEX: Ricky Mathis?
Never heard of him.
JERRY: That's because he's an
overnight musical sensation.
In fact, as of today, he's
only released one single--
the optimistically
titled, "Rock Legend."
Which makes it even
more unsettling
that there have been reports
of similar occurrences
all around the globe.
Something's up.
We're just not sure what.
So where do we fit in?
JERRY: Your mission is to
go undercover as the opening
act on his world
tour and find out
exactly what it is
about Ricky Mathis that
makes his fans so fanatical.
You mean, we get
to be in a real band?
A real pretend one.
This is so perfect.
When Daimon finds
out, he'll toss
Mandy like a day old muffin and
come running straight to me.
He'll see me as
his musical equal.
I'll be irresistible.
Now, all we need is a name.
Actually ladies, we've
already taken care of your name.
SAMANTHA: We're
called The Spies?
That is so lame.
ALEX: Yeah, totally
unimaginative.
It was my idea.
Oh.
[nervous laughter]
Hey, look at these
cool instruments.
[music playing]
JERRY: Perhaps now isn't the
best time for you to practice.
Now where were we?
The trap is ready, sir
Oh, yes, the gear.
This week, you'll be utilizing
the expendable cable bungee
belt, the Wind Tunnel 3000
tornado blast hairdryer,
the suction cup bottom go-go
boots, the ultra sensitive
earring microphone, and--
my personal favorite-- a potty.
A what-y?
No, not a what-y, UPWATI--
Underwater Power Walking
Apparatus That's Inconspicuous.
Now, good-bye and
good luck, ladies.
Or as they say in
showbiz, break a leg.
[screaming]
[music playing]
Wow, look, we
have fans already.
[shrieks]
FAN 1: Hey, you're not Ricky.
FAN 2: That's not him.
Wow, I guess Ricky
Mathis is popular.
Wow.
CLOVER: I can't wait to
talk to Daimon about this.
He'll be so impressed with me.
Is that all she thinks about?
Daimon (ON PHONE): Hello.
Hi, Daimon, it's Clover.
Just thought I'd call to see
what's happening stateside.
I don't know what's
going on stateside,
but I'm hanging out at the mall.
So what's up with you, Clover?
CLOVER (ON PHONE):
Oh, the usual.
My band, The Spies, is
touring with Ricky Mathis.
We're just hanging out at
our extravagant and glamorous
hotel in London right now.
Whoa, you're on tour
with Ricky Mathis?
I had no idea you
were even in a band.
Oh, yeah.
I'm quite an
accomplished guitarist.
Wow, awesome.
Hey, like maybe
when you get back,
we can get together
and jam or something.
I could probably
squeeze you in next week.
I'll let you know.
Bye.
You must be The Spies.
Spies?
That's ridiculous.
Who told you we were spies?
Yes, that's us, The Spies.
We rock.
Well, I am Phil
Jenkins, the tour manager.
Ricky's very
anxious to meet you.
What do you say we head
up to the penthouse?
[strumming on guitar]
SAMANTHA: Great song.
Thanks, I just wrote it.
PHIL: We're scheduled
to record Ricky's
new song tomorrow morning.
I'm sure it's going to
be his next big hit.
We're sure it will be too.
We're thrilled to be touring
with such great musical talent.
The feeling is mutual.
I just adore your early work.
- We have early work?
- Shh.
Hey, you guys should come
to the recording studio
and hang out.
It'll be a blast.
Sorry, Ricky, your
recording sessions
are strictly off limits.
- Sounds like fun.
We'd love to go.
Great.
OK, everybody, we don't want to
keep those hungry fans waiting.
Oopsy.
SAMANTHA: Hm, that's weird.
Since when do CDs glow?
So besides the fact
that he has totally
crazed fans and
glowing CDs, Ricky
seems pretty normal to me.
Ouch!
Ricky!
Ricky!
Ricky!
Ricky!
Ricky!
Ricky!
Here goes nothing.
You ready, Clover?
Clover?
Clover, you are not supposed
to be listening to music.
You are supposed
to be playing it.
Besides, I took Ricky's
CD for evidence.
Too bad, because
I totally dig it.
It's really infectious.
[crowd cheering]
Wow.
[music playing]
Hey, we sound great!
Yeah, that's because
the music is pre-recorded.
In case you haven't noticed,
none of us are singing
and your guitars aren't even
hooked up to amplifiers.
Guess they'll be
wanting an encore.
RICKY: Nice job lip syncing.
Took me forever to get it right.
You lip sync, Ricky?
I don't like to, but Phil
insists that I don't sing live.
I guess I can't
argue with success.
[crowd cheering]
ALEX: So much for the theory
about Ricky being normal.
The guy doesn't even sing.
That's not the only
thing that isn't normal.
Check that out, girls.
What do you say we go
grab a spy's eye view.
ALEX: Good idea.
Clover, you coming?
Are you crazy?
I've got a killer
view right here.
It's spy time.
PHIL: Yeah, yeah, Mr. Sebastian.
Everything is a go for
tomorrow's recording session.
And I've prepared
the special lyrics.
Unfortunately, Ricky
invited those pesky
Spies to come along.
We'll have to keep
that security.
Huh?
Oh, hey, girls.
What's wrong?
Aren't you having fun?
Hey, I think I've gone deaf.
Actually, the
booth is soundproof.
The noise night after
night gives me a headache.
I prefer just to watch.
SAMANTHA: So let's review.
Ricky's fans are nuts.
His CDs glow.
He doesn't sing.
And his manager sits
in a soundproof booth
during his shows.
Getting freaky.
What do you think, Clover?
I think Ricky was incredible.
I mean, he's so talented.
I could just listen
to him all night.
Must hear Ricky.
OK, this is weird.
Maybe we should
check it out with--
Jerry?
Hello, ladies.
I hope rock stardom
hasn't gone to your heads.
It hasn't so far,
but if we keep getting
showered with roses, it might.
Oh, those.
They were sent by
one Daimon Reynolds.
Hey, Clover.
The flowers are for you.
Daimon sent them.
Please, now that I'm
involved with Ricky,
I'm like so over Daimon.
Oh, man.
How deluded can you get,
not to mention fickle.
So anyway, Jerry, what can you
tell us about a Mr. Sebastian?
Hm, says here he's the owner
of Ricky Mathis' record label.
Apparently, he used to
be quite the successful
guitar player before he lost his
arm in a freak pyrotechnics .
[screaming]
Now he's an eccentric,
recluse producer
who lives on a remote island
off the coast of Brazuela.
Ricky!
RICKY: So who's ready
to go to my recording
studio in Brazuela?
[thunder]
Wow!
[music playing]
SAMANTHA: So I
wonder what was up
with that strange
radio tower thing
being strapped to the yacht.
ALEX: Well, Says
says it's so they
can broadcast the concert live.
SAMANTHA: I don't buy it.
Since when do you need guards
to watch a satellite dish?
ALEX: This is definitely
the creepiest recording
studio I've ever seen.
That was great, Ricky.
CLOVER: Yeah, it was
totally excellent.
Ugh!
Now why don't we
lay down the lyrics.
RICKY: I'm Ricky
and I'm your master.
Follow me as I spread disaster.
Take over the government.
Do as I say.
I'll rule the world
and you'll obey.
Phil, I sort of didn't
intend for the new song
to be so aggressive.
What happened to
the lyrics I wrote?
Ricky, trust me.
I know what I'm doing.
These new lyrics will
give your song that hip,
edgy feel the kids are
so wild about these days.
OK, I'd say those definitely
fall under the special lyrics
category.
All the lyrics Ricky
sings are special.
Maybe we should
take this opportunity
to do a little spying.
I'm right behind you.
I just love it when
fashion has a purpose.
Oh!
The secret laboratory's got
to be around here somewhere.
ALEX: [screams]
Nice work, Alex.
ALEX: Yeah, any time.
The new Ricky single
is all finished.
SEBASTIAN: Excellent.
SCIENTIST: The frequency
has been successfully added.
Good.
Now let's see the
effects first hand.
I take it the guy with
the scary hook is Sebastian.
And I take it he doesn't
play guitar much these days.
SEBASTIAN: Have a seat.
We want to know what you
think of this new song.
[music playing]
You're Ricky, and
you're my master.
I'll follow you as
you spread disaster.
Take over the government.
I'll do as you say.
You'll rule the
world and I'll obey.
SEBASTIAN: You're dismissed.
You're Ricky, and
you're my master.
I'll follow you as
you spread disaster.
Did you see that?
It's like-- it's like
Ricky's song hypnotized
that guy or something.
The frequency they
were talking about
must be some kind of
subliminal mind control device.
That would explain why
Clover's been acting so crazy.
- Huh?
- Think about it.
Ricky's first song,
"Rock Legend,"
is about rock star worship.
And what does it do?
It hypnotizes listeners
into worshipping him.
They do whatever the
lyrics tell them to.
So that means if Ricky
performs at the concert,
the fans will do
whatever the lyrics say.
Shh!
SEBASTIAN: Security,
we have intruders.
[screaming] Run!
Nice gadget.
What was that-- a portable,
high viscosity, oil cannon?
That was no gadget.
That was my favorite mousse.
Expensive too.
You're Ricky, and
you're my master.
Quick, we can
scale down the wall.
So The Spies are really spies.
How totally lame
and unimaginative.
Don't blame us.
Jerry thought of it.
-
SEBASTIAN: Unfortunately,
you'll never have a chance
to report what you've learned.
Because in approximately
20 seconds, the only thing
you'll be interested in will
be the worshipping of Ricky
Mathis, which
means that tonight,
you won't mind when I
jam all the radio, TV,
and internet signals
around the globe.
Nor will it bother you when
I take control of the world
with my new hypnotized slaves.
Because you will be two of them.
Enjoy your last
moments of free will.
[maniacal laughter]
Great, now what
are we going to do?
We can use those to get out.
No, not like that.
Whoo ha!
[music playing]
SAMANTHA: Wow, this
UPWATI is really great.
ALEX: UP- whaty?
SAMANTHA: Don't
start that again.
Now let's get to the concert
before it's too late.
ALEX: I'm getting really
sick of this salt water.
It totally frizzes my hair.
AUDIENCE: Ricky!
Ricky!
Ricky!
Ricky!
Ricky!
ALEX: Psst, Ricky!
What are you guys doing here?
You're supposed to
be out there playing.
Well, we would be,
except you're good friends,
Phil and Sebastian, decided to
lock us in a recording booth
and use a hypnotic
version of your new song
to try to turn us into zombies.
Alex, fill him in.
I've got to get to
that radio tower.
Now let's go
watch the fireworks.
[music playing]
OK, how the heck am I
gonna stop the broadcast?
Sebastian planned
on using my music
to take over some government?
Actually, he planned on
using you to rule the world.
Weren't you paying attention?
There he is!
SEBASTIAN: Where's Ricky?
He should have been
playing by now.
This crowd is ready
to start a riot.
PHIL: We can't wait.
I'll start the music by remote.
AUDIENCE: Ricky!
Ricky!
Ricky!
Oh, no!
RICKY: What do we do now?
ALEX: Looks like the
only way out is up.
What the--
That's it.
Time to get rid
of those annoying
spies once and for all.
[music playing]
[gunfire]
What's going on here?
Somehow we picked up the
signal of Ricky's recording.
That's not supposed to happen.
Quick, turn the monitors off.
No, don't shut them off.
Ricky's music is so wonderful.
You're Ricky,
you're our master.
You're Ricky, you're our master.
AUDIENCE: You're Ricky,
you're our master.
JERRY: Don't worry, girls.
We'll take over from here.
You're Ricky.
You're our master.
You're Ricky.
You're our master.
SAMANTHA: Gee, thanks, Jerry,
and not a minute too soon.
These vicious
criminals were just
about to force
Ricky to autograph
their concert t-shirts.
CLOVER: I can't believe
I fell for Ricky Mathis.
I'm like so embarrassed.
ALEX: Don't be so
hard on yourself.
You just weren't
thinking straight.
SAMANTHA: Yeah, luckily the
effects of the music wore off,
and you're not a mindless,
zombie groupie anymore.
Hey, Clover, you're back.
Did you get my Flowers
Yeah, I got them.
So, like, I was thinking
maybe we could get together,
and you could tell me all about
your tour with Ricky Mathis.
Sorry, Daimon.
After the whole tour experience,
I'm like so over musicians.
[bird cawing]
I'm so proud of you, Clover.
Yeah, you've finally
come to your senses.
I just decided
that it's really
dumb to fall for every guy
with a guitar in his hands.
Excuse me, can anyone tell
me where the music room is?
[harp playing]
I'm new, and I'm kind of lost.
I'd be happy to take
you to the music room.
I guess this means
she's back into musicians.
Something tells me
she never got over them.
CLOVER: In fact, if you
don't have lunch plans,
you can buy me a nonfat latte.
And I'll give you a
tour of the school.
[theme music playing]