Tschugger (2021) s01e01 Episode Script
Smetterling
Based on many real events.
Any resemblance to living or deceased persons is not
or deceased persons is not always purely coincidental.
You have probably heard
that the flapping of a butterfly's wings
can cause a storm
on the other side of the world.
This is also the story of a butterfly.
But in reality, it never flapped its wings.
But first, I have to tell you about all these idiots
that I have to deal with here every day.
This guy here: Junior.
He likes to smoke
pot while working.
And later he will tell us that he has a prescription
from Dr. Burgener
for his fear of heights.
Bullshit.
Everyone knows he just likes to smoke firecrackers.
But to work with big equipment,
this thing is really not recommended.
What did you do, you little prick?
Did you smoke a joint again?
And here, in the super car, is me Bax.
If I hadn't slept in it all week
and if I'd had a haircut,
I would look a little better.
But hey crime never sleeps.
June, come to my office immediately!
And you must know something else.
If you want something twisted to happen
to happen one day,
we'll probably run into each other.
looking for a suspect on the Internet ..
or Gerda will hit the bull's eye
during her shooting practice?
Still according to our motto:
a friendly cop is a respected cop.
I don't know what's wrong with you.
That's just great.
Your local police officer.
Yeah, I don't know if he'll like the "cop" thing.
It's young and sassy,
and Dad really wants to attract young people
with this TikTok.
Hey Little tiger.
You've given it your all again.
But Bax can he really drive that well?
Hey, you know him,
he still thinks this is a Hollywood movie.
Why don't we go for a beer together
after work?
It probably wouldn't hurt. Kiss.
See you later.
- Hello Mike!
- Good morning Mrs. Lötscher.
Fucking cop.
Damn, that damn knee.
Hey, you won't believe what just happened.
I just went to see the chief
No Wait a minute
I'm supposed to get her some weed for
ten thousand bucks.
No I swear to God.
money from hand to hand.
Fricker doesn't know the market price.
Ah, five thousand profit for us!
Ah, I'm telling you, baby,
with this money we can finally produce
our rap album.
Yes, I know, we need a pilot.
I've been on their trail for over
two months now.
They're taking the goods across the border
Here one of twenty, there one of fifty,
but now they want the big pots.
I knew it stank in here
Why don't you discuss it with him precisely?
It's crazy, isn't it?
No, I saw it on the news
I'm in Valais right now.
Nothing important Internal investigations.
In a small police station.
The Valais, my goodness.
Did you call him?
He should be back the day after tomorrow.
Yes, exactly
And if not, you call, OK?
Hi Erasmo
This is a place for the disabled!
Listen in Valais they call it
parking for people with special needs.
And I have I have a specific need at this moment.
Ah And I'm a cop.
Do you want to be there
when Frängi is chasing the criminals?
When will Bax set a new record in
in the driving course?
When will Peter search for a suspect
on the Internet?
Or when Gerda hits the bull's eye
during her shooting practice?
For safety on the streets and in the countryside
and in the mountains.
And I hunt criminals.
Gerda
I've got them, these junkies!
Look, I really I really got them
Don't you understand that I need
a little distance?
Gerda It's not about us.
It's strictly business.
It's something for the history books.
Hey, one more time
You always see the next big thing
in everything
I'm working with Frängi now.
Finally understand this!
Frank Cina.
IQ somewhere between the 30 zone
and downtown
Likes women in bikinis and guns.
That's why he's already slept with
all the women in the station.
Except for my ex.
Gerda. It's just like I said
The goods are going through the border
and they are
Hush.
Yes
Gerda thinks I'm too impulsive
and that I haven't done enough for our relationship
Damn platitudes.
I just don't think she believes
enough in us.
Because good cops sometimes have to
to go beyond their limits.
Your cantonal police officer.
A good cop must sometimes go beyond his limits?
Yeah? Yeah? I was thinking about the kids
Cop!? I never want to hear that word again.
I really don't understand how
how any of you could have such a crazy idea.
A good policeman knows his limits
and does not exceed them.
Never.
But the plans are great.
Well, not all of them
And the ones taken from the sky!
Incredible, what we can do today.
Well done, Pirmin.
Yes, in fact, the aerial shots were taken
by Patrick with a drone.
Really good, Patrick.
Do you like it here?
Patrick.
Our new intern from Zurich.
In addition to his amusing dialect,
he has a kind of tongue-clicking sound.
In other words,
when he speaks
That's why we call him Butterfly.
Well, that's great so far.
I've been well received. It's a
Oh dear, here we go again.
Fortunately, it's Pirmin
who has to take care of this guy.
and I wanted to thank you again personally.
OK. Thank you.
Edit this for me
then post it on TikTak.
We have, for a few more days,
a special guest here at the station.
Ms. Brotz.
Miss Brotz is here in Valais on behalf of the
the federal police to carry out some investigations.
She will be in room E2,
phone 74.
So remember:
"You never get a second chance
to make a good first impression!"
Miss Brotz
Thank you very much, Chief Biffiger.
Actually, everything has been said.
Fedpol makes sporadic routine visits to various local police
to various local police units.
The day after tomorrow, this should be over
I will certainly be in contact
with some of you
I've already had this pleasure with some of you
I look forward to working with you.
Thank you.
Peter.
Your package from the Forestry Commission.
Frängi
they got you again.
Twenty too many?
You could have been a little more beautiful,
Gerda
I told you there was a radar detector.
Bax has already been caught three times on this turn.
I heard that it's not only
that you're going too fast on the curve.
Every time a cop gets flashed,
he has to put money in the piggy bank,
and when it's full,
we have a speed party.
This year we went to the Finges woods
and yes, it got a little out of hand.
Shh. You don't have to rub his nose in it
Why do you think she's here?
I told you:
What happened in the Finges woods
will remain in the Finges woods.
Hey, look at his XING profile.
She originally trained as a cook,
then a training in applied psychology
in Fribourg,
obtained a master's degree at Princeton
and now she has opened
a podiatry practice in Bad Ragaz.
Peter It's not her.
Her hair is completely different.
But there is a certain resemblance
Fedpol is not recruiting for the Edeweiss team,
are you?
The special unit?
Yes, what else? The ones we call
when something important happens.
Bomb threat, hostage situation,
ten kilos of coke.
The cream of the crop.
Then you already know
she's not here because of YOU.
Why don't you shut up, Frängi.
Bax.
Can you still use your hand?
To jerk off, it's difficult
but it's just enough
to hit you in the face a few times
Bax, in my office.
And get Ms. Brotz a coffee!
Jesus Mary.
Listen He provoked me
and now he's going out with Gerda,
he takes full advantage of it.
When will you be back at the bowling alley?
Do you know that
the Valais trophy is in three weeks.
The Albins have brought in a Russian.
Olga Petrinova.
She was a Russian national bowler
They shoved $50,000 up her ass,
gave him an apartment, tax breaks.
If things go on like this,
we'll never get the trophy.
Listen. You better
take some distance from Gerda.
Now you too are getting into it with this shit
The doctor says
I just have to wait six more weeks
But he also said
that maybe I should go see a psychologist.
Yes.
Anyway, I'm always busy
with these junkies.
You'd better leave
those two drug dealers alone.
What? No!
No! I'm about to make a breakthrough!
This morning they transferred
ten thousand francs.
FINISH! Stop.
I don't want to hear any more about it.
- Diego.
- This is not the right time.
But I feel it.
Now is the right time.
As long as the Fedpol lady is here,
you'll keep your ass in a chair.
- That's an order.
- Why is that?
It's good if something happens
when she's here.
Internal investigations are never a good sign.
We have to keep our heads down
and not attract attention.
It was a gift from my wife.
If I had kept my nose clean at the time.
You wouldn't be sitting there now.
Rappaz was a great shot back in the day.
Fifty tons of hemp.
Six years of parole.
And I found out everything.
Diego just surfed my wave, actually,
from corporal to captain.
Lucky guess, I'd say.
You know, Bax in Valais,
a case like Rappaz
happens only once every hundred years.
You were still young. A young hound.
You smelled of blood.
But the times have changed.
In the old days
they still let us do things
Fedpol didn't show up as soon as we
was having a speed party.
Excuse me,
I'm looking for the tape of the zebra song.
- Is it at your place?
- Ah. Exactly
Bax, Pirmin,
in the afternoon you will do
the road safety training together.
What?
Hey, I'm a cop not a babysitter
and I have enough to do with Patrick
With this one
That's enough.
Otherwise you can wash the cars.
And take Patrick with you.
So he can see how it's done.
Bax,
keep your nose clean!
If you ever want to sit here.
You have to learn to deal with situations
like this.
Make sure he doesn't mess up.
Salvatore?
Of course, it tells us "no stop
until the final destination".
while he rests at
Osteria Francescana:
Fresh fish,
carne cruda, tramezzini, lasagne
How can you work
if your mind is at a standstill?
Your underdeveloped brain
only needs a quarter of the energy of mine.
Oh. You haven't said a word since Milan.
And since when are you interested in
Machiavelli?
I started reading once too
It's quite complicated
We are almost there!
Yes, it's damn hard to find a good
to find a good pilot.
I'm out
and I leaned against the car.
Where's that piece of shit?
He's coming
We just have to be cool now.
I'm fucking cool!
But I wonder how you're gonna handle me
when I have to wait for people.
It should be the other way around.
Should people wait for me?
This one. Valmira
wants to become a German rapper.
Spent a few months in prison,
would have poked someone's eye out
who pushed her onto a bumper car.
Romi, Claudi
they know how to manage.
They went to a school for that
in St. Gallen
WOW. Fantastic.
They know how to assert themselves
and even go to the gym.
Maybe I'd better check with them.
Hey, what's the make of your car?
Fiat Panda Why?
Sit in the Panda, tickets make money.
Tomorrow Gucci, Prada, Roli, Rararri
Ready to go?
I don't know.
Oh, come on. Forget the mustache.
So far I've only made the coffee
and changed the ink cartridges.
We both know you're overqualified
and I have a really good sense of talent.
When I watch the talent shows on TV,
I always know who is going to win.
Pietro Lombardi?
Before he opened his mouth,
I knew he was going to win.
But I can't even speak
Valais German.
You don't meet them either
just for a coffee.
You come in and say: "Hi, everybody,
I'm Butterfly, I'm the pilot."
Say it.
Salute, everybody,
me butterfly, me pilot.
Hi, everybody,
I am Papillon, I am the pilot.
I am Papillon, I am the pilot.
Again.
- Hi, everybody
- Salute, everybody
I'm Butterfly I'm the pilot.
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi everyone.
Hi, with U at the end.
Hi, everyone.
- U, U, U
Hi everyone.
I am Butterfly, I am the pilot.
- I am the pilot.
- I am the pilot.
Yeah. There you go.
You're a natural talent.
I told you that.
Let's go back to Rappaz.
I was your age and I almost
shit my pants too
but look where I am now,
what I've accomplished.
You can do it too.
Really?
Yes.
You are my little Pietro Lombardi.
Give me your shank.
Eh?
Your leg.
Patty Schnyder!
But Bax
I've never fired a gun
I didn't even go to my first shooting class.
Look, this is just a precaution,
these two aren't very smart
You're safe.
And if anything should happen,
we are connected.
Control, control
What I didn't tell him:
she has a criminal record
like a phone book.
For everyone under 12 years old.
In the past, the telephone directories
contained all the numbers.
Huge stuff.
And remember.
My future is in your hands.
So don't screw it up.
Close the door. It's cold.
Relax. You can do it.
He was stirring the gas
I think that's him.
Now you say it:
Hello, I'm Butterfly.
I am the pilot.
What the hell!
What's up?
You can see from a mile away
that he has Asperger's syndrome
Or what? Are you a fucking cop?
No I'm the pilot
Yes, great great.
A little Asperger's never hurts
hurt anyone.
Especially when he comes to steal.
He has the most experience.
4.5 out of 5 stars!
Smetterling69.
A little Photoshop,
then posted on Silk Road
and those idiots booked it.
Sit down.
Sit down
and stay cool.
How many can you take like that?
Say something like: Three kilos.
Like three kilos
Ragazzi, everything okay?
What can I bring you?
Order anything.
I don't care.
Say: apple spritzer.
One apple spritzes, please.
APPLE SPRITZER! APPLE SPRITZER!
Apple spritzes
He even has a speech impediment, right?
Is everything okay?
Did you like the pizza?
- Great.
- Of course. Very good. Thank you.
- Can we pay now?
- Of course.
Look at them more seriously.
Look at them with anger. Go on.
Now ask what it is about.
- What is it about?
Uh, what's this about?
Shit, that was just
Two cents for the flight.
That's all you need to know.
What?
Ask WHAT it is!
We need to know exactly what it is.
We need to EXACTLY?
NOT US.
I need to know exactly.
I need to know exactly.
What should I carry?
Yes, exactly.
A little more of this.
- What is this?
- What's this?
What is it?
Butterfly. I need this on CASSETTE!
Careful. Attention. Tuesday Frängi's pizzas.
Which pizza do you want?
- We need this on cass
- NOOON!
What's up?
What should I carry?
You'll see it when the time comes.
Butterfly. Make an effort.
What do they want to carry?
This is Biffiger.
A Quattro Stagione
What is this?
Ask again.
I need to know!
This is Peter.
One Pizza Diavolo Extra Hot.
Shit, shit
So, what do you think?
Passing three kilos in the air?
Frängi, cancel! Now! Abort!
Immediately!
Ah, damn it!
Hello?
I'm talking to you.
Fucking cops.
Frängi! Hey Frängi!
Damn, damn.
Frängi
tell him extra mozzarella.
- Yes, yes. YES, YES. OK!
- Thank you.
Psst Frängi!
Come on over here.
What the hell do you want?
Don't go into the restaurant!
You're really a mega-harasser
Gerda, look!
I really can't stand that guy anymore.
Listen to this,
let me get the pizzas.
No way!
It's Frängi's pizza Tuesday.
No, wait.
You can take some tomorrow for me.
This is not Frängi's pizza Wednesday.
This is Frängi's pizza Tuesday.
And it's sacred for our colleagues.
- They need to
- I pay!
Make sure mine is
with enough bacon and onions.
And that's still Frängi's pizza Tuesday!
Got it?
What does it matter?
Hey, Bax
Looking for Rappaz?
Not now, Ludi!
Pinotti. Can you make the pizzas now,
please?
I'm coming
It's busy!
Meow.
Shit.
Yes, of course, you can say
it was a stupid idea
to send the trainee
on such an important mission
but I we always say:
You can't learn to swim by standing at the edge of the
the pool.
Fucking guy.
Why didn't you check the weather forecast?
And look at my new Balenciaga.
Do you know how much they cost?
The drone is back in Swiss airspace.
I told you he had it in him.
Great!
Mhmm
Butterfly,
all is well?
Porcha Droja!
Imbecile! My book!
What was that?
But what are you doing?
Salvatore said:
NO STOP!
I go on without you!
Dirty bastard!
Oops!
What do you mean, oops?
Actually, the light should be green
Dude, what does that actually mean?
Given the precarious weather conditions,
he may have initiated
an automated safety landing.
Dude. There's 10,000 worth of fucking
of merchandise on there!
What are you waiting for?
Go get it!
The drone must be stuck
somewhere up in the trees.
Yes, Patrick.
It's Pirmin again.
Call me back as soon as possible.
I just want to know where you are.
Call me back.
Damn it.
Road safety training?
Yes. Enjoy your meal!
Thank you.
- By the way, they made a nice video.
- Thank you
Is there
video recordings of your
of your company outing in the Finges woods?
- Send the video
- What, you filmed?
Uh
No
Not that I know of.
Too bad
ah, tell the trainee to come back to me
when you see him
OK.
Bax, we're late.
The kids are already waiting!
I can't go to this
fucking traffic safety training.
- What's that?
- Pizza?
No. This.
What does it look like?
A mustache.
Today is Frängi's pizza Tuesday,
isn't it?
No! It's Bax's Pizza Tuesday
And now stop pissing me off.
I'm going to eat my prosciutto mascarpone.
What is this shit?
Well, we have to continue
Let's go.
Dude, what do you mean by "stay calm"?
We wanted to use the money to produce
a rap video. She'll kill me if we
No but
You remember what I said at the beginning
about the butterfly effect.
I really felt like
that we were going to get
the next big thing with our intern.
To be once again
on the front page.
I could finally prove to Gerda
that I still have it in me.
Hi, this is Patrick Künzler.
I'm not available at the moment,
but you can leave a message
after the beep.
I will call you back as soon as possible.
Bye-bye.
But yes, about Smetterling.
Maybe I expected a little too much
from an intern.
If you want to know how Pirmin and I
did the road safety training
and what Martina
Hingis was doing there,
what happens when you place your hand
in front of a semi-automatic weapon
at the moment of firing,
what was in the damn truck
of those two Italians,
how the first shooting course went
of Papillon on the Simplon pass
and what I like to spread mascarpone on the most
So don't miss the next episode of:
TSCHUGGER.
Any resemblance to living or deceased persons is not
or deceased persons is not always purely coincidental.
You have probably heard
that the flapping of a butterfly's wings
can cause a storm
on the other side of the world.
This is also the story of a butterfly.
But in reality, it never flapped its wings.
But first, I have to tell you about all these idiots
that I have to deal with here every day.
This guy here: Junior.
He likes to smoke
pot while working.
And later he will tell us that he has a prescription
from Dr. Burgener
for his fear of heights.
Bullshit.
Everyone knows he just likes to smoke firecrackers.
But to work with big equipment,
this thing is really not recommended.
What did you do, you little prick?
Did you smoke a joint again?
And here, in the super car, is me Bax.
If I hadn't slept in it all week
and if I'd had a haircut,
I would look a little better.
But hey crime never sleeps.
June, come to my office immediately!
And you must know something else.
If you want something twisted to happen
to happen one day,
we'll probably run into each other.
looking for a suspect on the Internet ..
or Gerda will hit the bull's eye
during her shooting practice?
Still according to our motto:
a friendly cop is a respected cop.
I don't know what's wrong with you.
That's just great.
Your local police officer.
Yeah, I don't know if he'll like the "cop" thing.
It's young and sassy,
and Dad really wants to attract young people
with this TikTok.
Hey Little tiger.
You've given it your all again.
But Bax can he really drive that well?
Hey, you know him,
he still thinks this is a Hollywood movie.
Why don't we go for a beer together
after work?
It probably wouldn't hurt. Kiss.
See you later.
- Hello Mike!
- Good morning Mrs. Lötscher.
Fucking cop.
Damn, that damn knee.
Hey, you won't believe what just happened.
I just went to see the chief
No Wait a minute
I'm supposed to get her some weed for
ten thousand bucks.
No I swear to God.
money from hand to hand.
Fricker doesn't know the market price.
Ah, five thousand profit for us!
Ah, I'm telling you, baby,
with this money we can finally produce
our rap album.
Yes, I know, we need a pilot.
I've been on their trail for over
two months now.
They're taking the goods across the border
Here one of twenty, there one of fifty,
but now they want the big pots.
I knew it stank in here
Why don't you discuss it with him precisely?
It's crazy, isn't it?
No, I saw it on the news
I'm in Valais right now.
Nothing important Internal investigations.
In a small police station.
The Valais, my goodness.
Did you call him?
He should be back the day after tomorrow.
Yes, exactly
And if not, you call, OK?
Hi Erasmo
This is a place for the disabled!
Listen in Valais they call it
parking for people with special needs.
And I have I have a specific need at this moment.
Ah And I'm a cop.
Do you want to be there
when Frängi is chasing the criminals?
When will Bax set a new record in
in the driving course?
When will Peter search for a suspect
on the Internet?
Or when Gerda hits the bull's eye
during her shooting practice?
For safety on the streets and in the countryside
and in the mountains.
And I hunt criminals.
Gerda
I've got them, these junkies!
Look, I really I really got them
Don't you understand that I need
a little distance?
Gerda It's not about us.
It's strictly business.
It's something for the history books.
Hey, one more time
You always see the next big thing
in everything
I'm working with Frängi now.
Finally understand this!
Frank Cina.
IQ somewhere between the 30 zone
and downtown
Likes women in bikinis and guns.
That's why he's already slept with
all the women in the station.
Except for my ex.
Gerda. It's just like I said
The goods are going through the border
and they are
Hush.
Yes
Gerda thinks I'm too impulsive
and that I haven't done enough for our relationship
Damn platitudes.
I just don't think she believes
enough in us.
Because good cops sometimes have to
to go beyond their limits.
Your cantonal police officer.
A good cop must sometimes go beyond his limits?
Yeah? Yeah? I was thinking about the kids
Cop!? I never want to hear that word again.
I really don't understand how
how any of you could have such a crazy idea.
A good policeman knows his limits
and does not exceed them.
Never.
But the plans are great.
Well, not all of them
And the ones taken from the sky!
Incredible, what we can do today.
Well done, Pirmin.
Yes, in fact, the aerial shots were taken
by Patrick with a drone.
Really good, Patrick.
Do you like it here?
Patrick.
Our new intern from Zurich.
In addition to his amusing dialect,
he has a kind of tongue-clicking sound.
In other words,
when he speaks
That's why we call him Butterfly.
Well, that's great so far.
I've been well received. It's a
Oh dear, here we go again.
Fortunately, it's Pirmin
who has to take care of this guy.
and I wanted to thank you again personally.
OK. Thank you.
Edit this for me
then post it on TikTak.
We have, for a few more days,
a special guest here at the station.
Ms. Brotz.
Miss Brotz is here in Valais on behalf of the
the federal police to carry out some investigations.
She will be in room E2,
phone 74.
So remember:
"You never get a second chance
to make a good first impression!"
Miss Brotz
Thank you very much, Chief Biffiger.
Actually, everything has been said.
Fedpol makes sporadic routine visits to various local police
to various local police units.
The day after tomorrow, this should be over
I will certainly be in contact
with some of you
I've already had this pleasure with some of you
I look forward to working with you.
Thank you.
Peter.
Your package from the Forestry Commission.
Frängi
they got you again.
Twenty too many?
You could have been a little more beautiful,
Gerda
I told you there was a radar detector.
Bax has already been caught three times on this turn.
I heard that it's not only
that you're going too fast on the curve.
Every time a cop gets flashed,
he has to put money in the piggy bank,
and when it's full,
we have a speed party.
This year we went to the Finges woods
and yes, it got a little out of hand.
Shh. You don't have to rub his nose in it
Why do you think she's here?
I told you:
What happened in the Finges woods
will remain in the Finges woods.
Hey, look at his XING profile.
She originally trained as a cook,
then a training in applied psychology
in Fribourg,
obtained a master's degree at Princeton
and now she has opened
a podiatry practice in Bad Ragaz.
Peter It's not her.
Her hair is completely different.
But there is a certain resemblance
Fedpol is not recruiting for the Edeweiss team,
are you?
The special unit?
Yes, what else? The ones we call
when something important happens.
Bomb threat, hostage situation,
ten kilos of coke.
The cream of the crop.
Then you already know
she's not here because of YOU.
Why don't you shut up, Frängi.
Bax.
Can you still use your hand?
To jerk off, it's difficult
but it's just enough
to hit you in the face a few times
Bax, in my office.
And get Ms. Brotz a coffee!
Jesus Mary.
Listen He provoked me
and now he's going out with Gerda,
he takes full advantage of it.
When will you be back at the bowling alley?
Do you know that
the Valais trophy is in three weeks.
The Albins have brought in a Russian.
Olga Petrinova.
She was a Russian national bowler
They shoved $50,000 up her ass,
gave him an apartment, tax breaks.
If things go on like this,
we'll never get the trophy.
Listen. You better
take some distance from Gerda.
Now you too are getting into it with this shit
The doctor says
I just have to wait six more weeks
But he also said
that maybe I should go see a psychologist.
Yes.
Anyway, I'm always busy
with these junkies.
You'd better leave
those two drug dealers alone.
What? No!
No! I'm about to make a breakthrough!
This morning they transferred
ten thousand francs.
FINISH! Stop.
I don't want to hear any more about it.
- Diego.
- This is not the right time.
But I feel it.
Now is the right time.
As long as the Fedpol lady is here,
you'll keep your ass in a chair.
- That's an order.
- Why is that?
It's good if something happens
when she's here.
Internal investigations are never a good sign.
We have to keep our heads down
and not attract attention.
It was a gift from my wife.
If I had kept my nose clean at the time.
You wouldn't be sitting there now.
Rappaz was a great shot back in the day.
Fifty tons of hemp.
Six years of parole.
And I found out everything.
Diego just surfed my wave, actually,
from corporal to captain.
Lucky guess, I'd say.
You know, Bax in Valais,
a case like Rappaz
happens only once every hundred years.
You were still young. A young hound.
You smelled of blood.
But the times have changed.
In the old days
they still let us do things
Fedpol didn't show up as soon as we
was having a speed party.
Excuse me,
I'm looking for the tape of the zebra song.
- Is it at your place?
- Ah. Exactly
Bax, Pirmin,
in the afternoon you will do
the road safety training together.
What?
Hey, I'm a cop not a babysitter
and I have enough to do with Patrick
With this one
That's enough.
Otherwise you can wash the cars.
And take Patrick with you.
So he can see how it's done.
Bax,
keep your nose clean!
If you ever want to sit here.
You have to learn to deal with situations
like this.
Make sure he doesn't mess up.
Salvatore?
Of course, it tells us "no stop
until the final destination".
while he rests at
Osteria Francescana:
Fresh fish,
carne cruda, tramezzini, lasagne
How can you work
if your mind is at a standstill?
Your underdeveloped brain
only needs a quarter of the energy of mine.
Oh. You haven't said a word since Milan.
And since when are you interested in
Machiavelli?
I started reading once too
It's quite complicated
We are almost there!
Yes, it's damn hard to find a good
to find a good pilot.
I'm out
and I leaned against the car.
Where's that piece of shit?
He's coming
We just have to be cool now.
I'm fucking cool!
But I wonder how you're gonna handle me
when I have to wait for people.
It should be the other way around.
Should people wait for me?
This one. Valmira
wants to become a German rapper.
Spent a few months in prison,
would have poked someone's eye out
who pushed her onto a bumper car.
Romi, Claudi
they know how to manage.
They went to a school for that
in St. Gallen
WOW. Fantastic.
They know how to assert themselves
and even go to the gym.
Maybe I'd better check with them.
Hey, what's the make of your car?
Fiat Panda Why?
Sit in the Panda, tickets make money.
Tomorrow Gucci, Prada, Roli, Rararri
Ready to go?
I don't know.
Oh, come on. Forget the mustache.
So far I've only made the coffee
and changed the ink cartridges.
We both know you're overqualified
and I have a really good sense of talent.
When I watch the talent shows on TV,
I always know who is going to win.
Pietro Lombardi?
Before he opened his mouth,
I knew he was going to win.
But I can't even speak
Valais German.
You don't meet them either
just for a coffee.
You come in and say: "Hi, everybody,
I'm Butterfly, I'm the pilot."
Say it.
Salute, everybody,
me butterfly, me pilot.
Hi, everybody,
I am Papillon, I am the pilot.
I am Papillon, I am the pilot.
Again.
- Hi, everybody
- Salute, everybody
I'm Butterfly I'm the pilot.
- Hi, everybody.
- Hi everyone.
Hi, with U at the end.
Hi, everyone.
- U, U, U
Hi everyone.
I am Butterfly, I am the pilot.
- I am the pilot.
- I am the pilot.
Yeah. There you go.
You're a natural talent.
I told you that.
Let's go back to Rappaz.
I was your age and I almost
shit my pants too
but look where I am now,
what I've accomplished.
You can do it too.
Really?
Yes.
You are my little Pietro Lombardi.
Give me your shank.
Eh?
Your leg.
Patty Schnyder!
But Bax
I've never fired a gun
I didn't even go to my first shooting class.
Look, this is just a precaution,
these two aren't very smart
You're safe.
And if anything should happen,
we are connected.
Control, control
What I didn't tell him:
she has a criminal record
like a phone book.
For everyone under 12 years old.
In the past, the telephone directories
contained all the numbers.
Huge stuff.
And remember.
My future is in your hands.
So don't screw it up.
Close the door. It's cold.
Relax. You can do it.
He was stirring the gas
I think that's him.
Now you say it:
Hello, I'm Butterfly.
I am the pilot.
What the hell!
What's up?
You can see from a mile away
that he has Asperger's syndrome
Or what? Are you a fucking cop?
No I'm the pilot
Yes, great great.
A little Asperger's never hurts
hurt anyone.
Especially when he comes to steal.
He has the most experience.
4.5 out of 5 stars!
Smetterling69.
A little Photoshop,
then posted on Silk Road
and those idiots booked it.
Sit down.
Sit down
and stay cool.
How many can you take like that?
Say something like: Three kilos.
Like three kilos
Ragazzi, everything okay?
What can I bring you?
Order anything.
I don't care.
Say: apple spritzer.
One apple spritzes, please.
APPLE SPRITZER! APPLE SPRITZER!
Apple spritzes
He even has a speech impediment, right?
Is everything okay?
Did you like the pizza?
- Great.
- Of course. Very good. Thank you.
- Can we pay now?
- Of course.
Look at them more seriously.
Look at them with anger. Go on.
Now ask what it is about.
- What is it about?
Uh, what's this about?
Shit, that was just
Two cents for the flight.
That's all you need to know.
What?
Ask WHAT it is!
We need to know exactly what it is.
We need to EXACTLY?
NOT US.
I need to know exactly.
I need to know exactly.
What should I carry?
Yes, exactly.
A little more of this.
- What is this?
- What's this?
What is it?
Butterfly. I need this on CASSETTE!
Careful. Attention. Tuesday Frängi's pizzas.
Which pizza do you want?
- We need this on cass
- NOOON!
What's up?
What should I carry?
You'll see it when the time comes.
Butterfly. Make an effort.
What do they want to carry?
This is Biffiger.
A Quattro Stagione
What is this?
Ask again.
I need to know!
This is Peter.
One Pizza Diavolo Extra Hot.
Shit, shit
So, what do you think?
Passing three kilos in the air?
Frängi, cancel! Now! Abort!
Immediately!
Ah, damn it!
Hello?
I'm talking to you.
Fucking cops.
Frängi! Hey Frängi!
Damn, damn.
Frängi
tell him extra mozzarella.
- Yes, yes. YES, YES. OK!
- Thank you.
Psst Frängi!
Come on over here.
What the hell do you want?
Don't go into the restaurant!
You're really a mega-harasser
Gerda, look!
I really can't stand that guy anymore.
Listen to this,
let me get the pizzas.
No way!
It's Frängi's pizza Tuesday.
No, wait.
You can take some tomorrow for me.
This is not Frängi's pizza Wednesday.
This is Frängi's pizza Tuesday.
And it's sacred for our colleagues.
- They need to
- I pay!
Make sure mine is
with enough bacon and onions.
And that's still Frängi's pizza Tuesday!
Got it?
What does it matter?
Hey, Bax
Looking for Rappaz?
Not now, Ludi!
Pinotti. Can you make the pizzas now,
please?
I'm coming
It's busy!
Meow.
Shit.
Yes, of course, you can say
it was a stupid idea
to send the trainee
on such an important mission
but I we always say:
You can't learn to swim by standing at the edge of the
the pool.
Fucking guy.
Why didn't you check the weather forecast?
And look at my new Balenciaga.
Do you know how much they cost?
The drone is back in Swiss airspace.
I told you he had it in him.
Great!
Mhmm
Butterfly,
all is well?
Porcha Droja!
Imbecile! My book!
What was that?
But what are you doing?
Salvatore said:
NO STOP!
I go on without you!
Dirty bastard!
Oops!
What do you mean, oops?
Actually, the light should be green
Dude, what does that actually mean?
Given the precarious weather conditions,
he may have initiated
an automated safety landing.
Dude. There's 10,000 worth of fucking
of merchandise on there!
What are you waiting for?
Go get it!
The drone must be stuck
somewhere up in the trees.
Yes, Patrick.
It's Pirmin again.
Call me back as soon as possible.
I just want to know where you are.
Call me back.
Damn it.
Road safety training?
Yes. Enjoy your meal!
Thank you.
- By the way, they made a nice video.
- Thank you
Is there
video recordings of your
of your company outing in the Finges woods?
- Send the video
- What, you filmed?
Uh
No
Not that I know of.
Too bad
ah, tell the trainee to come back to me
when you see him
OK.
Bax, we're late.
The kids are already waiting!
I can't go to this
fucking traffic safety training.
- What's that?
- Pizza?
No. This.
What does it look like?
A mustache.
Today is Frängi's pizza Tuesday,
isn't it?
No! It's Bax's Pizza Tuesday
And now stop pissing me off.
I'm going to eat my prosciutto mascarpone.
What is this shit?
Well, we have to continue
Let's go.
Dude, what do you mean by "stay calm"?
We wanted to use the money to produce
a rap video. She'll kill me if we
No but
You remember what I said at the beginning
about the butterfly effect.
I really felt like
that we were going to get
the next big thing with our intern.
To be once again
on the front page.
I could finally prove to Gerda
that I still have it in me.
Hi, this is Patrick Künzler.
I'm not available at the moment,
but you can leave a message
after the beep.
I will call you back as soon as possible.
Bye-bye.
But yes, about Smetterling.
Maybe I expected a little too much
from an intern.
If you want to know how Pirmin and I
did the road safety training
and what Martina
Hingis was doing there,
what happens when you place your hand
in front of a semi-automatic weapon
at the moment of firing,
what was in the damn truck
of those two Italians,
how the first shooting course went
of Papillon on the Simplon pass
and what I like to spread mascarpone on the most
So don't miss the next episode of:
TSCHUGGER.