TVF Pitchers (2015) s01e01 Episode Script

Tu Beer Hai

Thank you, Sir.
Thank you, so much.
Sir, great job at BuyEasy
Fantastic you are
Thank you.
And sir, congratulations for your second
round investment too.
Actually sir, I work for an e-commerce website
You can upload your resume on career section on our website.
Sir, can I show you my work sometime
-OK, bye.
Please sir Give me one chance, sir.
Guys like these, don't even let you drink at your own party.
Bhati, how much did you get for 20%, 50?
It will be out in Sunday's Business Outlook Take a look yourself!
Bhati, tell me, 60?
It's official, I can't reveal it now.
How much, 75?
75?
Now don't tell me it's 100.
FK!!!
100?
A hundred million?
FK!!!
So what's the big deal?
It's still lesser than Flipkart by 7.5 billion.
Bhati, it means one of my college
seniors is going to be a billionaire!
FK, what luck!
IIM?
LSR. IIM.
I should have appeared for CAT.
All you do, is keep harping about my luck.
You've told me about your start-up
idea over a 100 times now.
Why don't you do something about it?
A new Silicon Valley is being upstaged at Hiranandani here.
And you are still selling these
cheap chinese phones on Mokart.
They're exculsive, Bhati.
-Bullshit.
Son, its not that easy.
Leave your job
and venture into the market.
And then you will learn, what
destinies are made of and from.
Dude, what the fk?
Still on your first beer?
Down it!
I'm good, Bhati.
Beer for him.
Shut up!!!
Bhati, I've become very discipled now.
Nowadays I don't even need an alarm to wake up..
Not going to the office?
What are you doing here?
I switched on the geyser
The water's still heating up.
Mandal why do you take a bath in my bathroom?
The handle of my bucket is broken.
So, take my bucket to your bathroom.
Actually, I feel like taking a shower today.
Dude, you can take a shower even in your own bathroom.
Atleast spare my towel.
Mokart fked me over Bhati. Completely fked me.
I put in so much effort into this Brazil project.
Worked even on Sundays.
I made atleast a 1000 PPTs.
Must've made more than 5000 excel sheets.
And when it came down to leading the team,
instead of me, they sent someone else to Rio.
Bhati, I will take revenge!
I will take revenge for sure!
I will even avenge them, Bhati.
Once I get the funding
I'll make so much money Bhati So much money
I'll buy Mokart and
And sell it on OLX, fking shit.
But how, Bhati?
How will I get the funding, Bhati?
Everyone's luck isn't as good as your's.
What do you mean, what am I?
I am the Executive Regional Manager, Navin Bansal, Mokart.com
No, what are YOU?
Executive regional manager
-You are a beer.
What do you mean?
You're beer, motherfker.
And this bottle here? This is your company
You think, you'll get into the glass.
You will have fun.
But look at this.
Can you see?
You actually don't want to leave the bottle.
For the beer to get into the glass
It needs to leave the bottle first
Once you're out of the bottle
Then you can get into any glass you want.
In this glass, if you want.
Or you can get into this glass
Even in this glass.
-Its a wine glass.
How the hell do YOU know that?
You are beer.
Get it?
You can go wherever you want.
Understand?
But it's quintissential you come out of the bottle, first.
Once you are out, you could fill half the glass
Or maybe you won't.
But if you don't come out
Then you'll definitely not be able to fill it.
Look here.
And its not your job to ask the questions.
You're beer.
You are beer.
This is beer.
Not glass.
Infact there is no glass.
But there is a glass on the table, Bhati.
I am a beer, Bhati.
And I'll get out of the bottle.
I will get out of the bottle
Will you have breakfast?
Yes
What do you want to eat?
Bread Omlett.
Bread Jam.
Which one, mixed fruit or mango?
Mixed fruit.
The mixed fruit one, got done with, last week itself!
Mango then!
We didn't get any mango in the first place!
Just toast the bread for me.
The toaster's been broken for such a long time, now!
Dude, one cup tea will do.
But I already used all the milk for the curd!
So what are you eating, then?
Curd.
I don't want any breakfast today. I'll have directly skip to lunch!
What?
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Your 'battery' will start seeping. Your mom.
-Dude, please leave me alone.
What?
-Bhati You were right!
What?
I'm beer, Bhati.
And I will flow out of the bottle.
I will resign.
I will resign.
This decision will change your life.
Come on, lets drink.
One beer for him.
Bhati listen, Bhati.
This decision that you're taking now
Will change your future.
You know what I mean.
No!! No!! No!! You didn't get me.
I will resign right now.
I will call him right now.
-Have you gone mad?
-I will resign right now, I don't give a FK.
-Listen to me.
-I will call him right now.
-Listen to me.
Bhati, I am beer Bhati, let me flow.
Bro, don't flow so much!
Listen to me, just listen.
You have to serve the notice period.
Do you think, I'm scared?
Am I a coward?
I will show it to you.
I will prove it to you.
Rajat?
Rajat, I am so sorry
that I am calling you this hour.
There's something very important, I want to tell you!
Rajat you're an ahole!!!
And your department
So you and your company are fired from my life.
Good night, Jai Hind.
And FK you.
FK YOU!!!
That's my drink!!!
Sorry
Whose this?
Yaa Chatty, tell me
But NasCom conclave's result where supposed to be
out next week, weren't they?
Ohh the hostel 4 guy.
Is he in Nascom?
OK.
So..What did he say?
You've got to be kidding me!
Are you sure?
Confirmed?
My B-Plan is going to get selected?
FK!!!
What luck!
Are you sure?
Thanks, thanks, thanks dude
Ok then, I'll tell the others as well
No, no.. Let it get official first. I'll update my status after!
OK.
I'll talk to you in the evening, alright?
Ok. Take care. Bye.
Naveen.
You are so irresponsible man.
This was lying behind your commode.
What do I do with it?
Now do one thing Mandal.
This? Throw it into the garbage!
(TVF Pitchers Theme Song)
He called me in the office and started yelling at me!
I said, "Sir,
..if you have so much problem with me sleeping..
..then tranfer me to HR department..
They even get an extra bonus for sleeping, there"
Jeetu bro!
Jeetu bro!
Congrats
Do you have an extra?
No, it's the last one.
No issue. Blow it on my face.
Passive will also do!
Congrats for what?
Now don't pretend!
You were amazing in the appraisal!
By the way, did you watch last night's Nach Baliye??
Chetan bhagat was awesome. He just..
How did you get to know about it?
Saw it last night. The 9pm show.
And then again, the 11:30 repeat telecast.
No, I mean about the appraisal.
How do you know about that?
Appraisal ?
Ohh!!!
Joshi sir showed it to us.
Even the 'Acheivement box' wasn't big enough.
Though I didn't really get one thing!
Why did you gave yourself 4 out of 5 in the self evaluation?
I knew it! I should've given myself 3.5
3.5?
You should've given yourself 5 out of 5.
What more could you possibly do?
No tell me, what more can you do?
Jeetu, can I tell you something?
Whenever we get a code written by you
We forward it, without even testing it
Why waste time, by running it?
And Joshi sir keeps praising you always.
Oh, Divya from the marketing team?
It's her engagement today.
Will you come?
What was Joshi sir saying?
Joshi sir said, he will come!
Actually what happened was
No!!! No!!
I meant what was Joshi sir saying about me?
You said something
Ohh
Not only Joshi sir,
But the whole department says this.
"Whether or not someone else does
you are defintely getting promoted"
And there's no two ways about it.
OK!!! I should be going, I have work to do.
-No!!! No!!
-Its mint flavoured.
No, no.. You can have it.
Ok!!! I will also leave after a couple of hours,
I have to rest.
Too much work to do
And remember the mithaee kachori for tommorow!
And greetings to your wife.
Dude, did you see that guy?
Amazing
Sir, the staff has requested the lunch time to be
extended from 15 minutes to half an hour.
Denied
Let them stay hungry and stay foolish.
Next.
The laptops that were given to
the TechSupport team are faulty.
The batteries drain out in half an hour!
Give them 10 of these and get them energized
Sir, but they need to charge their laptops.
not phones.
Well then tell the fking tech support to help tech support,
in all the matters of tech support. Next.
Sir, marketing research report.
Don't give numbers, give me graphs and pie charts.
You!!
But I am from Legal.
Next.
Sir, all the new sales interns are waiting for their induction
But sir, the AC in that room is not working.
It's very hot in there.
Good, it's the first day they need to feel the heat.
Sir, but what about your hair loss appointment?
Let's give a big round of applause for chacha.
So, you guys are the company's future sales team.
And you guys will be dealing with the client directly.
-Are you guys excited?
-Yes sir.
OK!!!
So guys, let me tell you.
Impressing your client is like impressing a girl,
that every man in the town is after.
Infact, she doesn't even know you.
She fking hates you.
Sir, I will threaten to slit my wrists, sir.
Yeah, maybe, as a last resort to meet the targets.
But, what will you begin with?
You will never give up!!!
You will never quit!!!
You have to treat your client, like your girlfriend.
Show them your loyalty.
Take them out for coffee.
Call them thrice a day.
Remember their birthdays.
In fact, fantasize about your client every night.
I do sir. EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.
OK!!! Excellent.
Anyways..
Guys remember.
Whatever happens..
Whatever the situation may be.
Just like me
You should never quit.
Can I hear that aloud? You should
-never quit.
You should
-never quit.
You should
-never quit
You should
-never quit
Guys!!!
I quit!!!
You should
But the news is confirmed, isn't it?
Yaa, Akhil works at NasCom itself.
He was in hostel 4
Hostel 4 guys are very nice. Very helpful.
Last year, when I slapped Ruchi's father
No, no. I bought it already.
I've bought babycorn as well.
Hey Jitu.
yaa, yaa
No, I still didn't get any gooseberry.
Yaa, I will look for them
I'll be home in an hour. OK?
OK!!! OK!!!
OK!!! OK!!!
Do you know how much babycorn costs?
100 gram for 100 Rupees. 1000 per KG.
We need money in life, dude! What do people keep going
on about, real estate being expensive in Bombay?
Jitu I quit the job.
-Don't eat the apple dude. They put a sticker of 30 on it but sell it for 50
What did you leave?
What are you saying?
I quit my job, last night.
Why?
-And Brazil?
-They are sending someone else.
What now?
New job? What?
No dude, our idea is going to
get selected in the conclave.
Now let's just begin with the start-up
We've only been talking about it since 3rd year.
-Naveen we've already discussed this.
What did we discuss?
That by the time you come
back from Brazil, after a
year and a half, Yogi will
make some contacts here.
Guys try to understand, I can't leave my job right now.
There's finally something good happening for me in the company
People are realizing my potential.
I’m a valuable employee to the company.
Won't be able to leave the job.
- Listen to me.
A new Silicon Valley is being upstaged at Hiranandani here!
And you're still writing codes on Python.
This the the opportunity.
This is the time. We should start now.
Once we get the funding,
we'll ensure, you get your salary even if we work for free.
Jitu, all the core work is tech related.
How will we manage without you?
All he's trying to say is, if we want to be the 'stud' enterpreneurs,
and want our company to be as big as Apple
Then he needs to be Steve Jobs
You need to be Steve Wozniak
and I need to be a Sean Parker.
Sean Parker's from Facebook.
Can you even spell entrepreneurship?
E
N
To be an entrepreneur, you don't need the spelling but the spirit.
Naveen, its now that finally something good's happening in my life!
I've got an appraisal with such difficulty!
Thats what I am saying, 5 is the limit of your job.
What after then? You won't score anything above 5.
Do you want to get through life, only scoring 5 out of 5?
Listen, I will explain it to you
What am I?
I am Jitu, married and what else?
No!!No!!1
What ARE you?
What are you?
Are you out of your mind , Naveen?
You're Coffee.
-What?
You are coffee
Now you think you'lll have fun getting into the glass
But you don't want to leave the cup.
Now if you want to flow into the glass,
you have to get out of the cup first.
What do you want to say exactly?
All I'm saying is, once you're out,
you can go into this glass
You can get into this glass.
Or this
Now you might think, "This is a sugar bowl,
but I am coffee. How can I get inside this?"
Won't you?
Dude, what are doing?
Sorry, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry
What are you doing dude?
My phone
It happened so well, with a beer!
So, what I was trying to say is
You've left your job and let go
What do you think, you're Steve Jobs?
What I was trying to say is
-First, figure it out for yourself, what you want to do
But where are you going?
To buy gooseberry!
I understood
Yeah.
The fker called me the other day and said,
"Why do keep joking about the H.R. team?
Do you know how much talent it takes, to be an H.R. manager?"
I said, "Sir,
To sleep for 22 hours a day
definitely takes a lot of talent!"
Your fly's open!
He took the bait!
Jeetu bro!
Jeetu bro!
Congratulations! Congratulations!
I was so glad, I took a selfie with a printout.
Kudos!
So
Mr. Jitendra Maheshwari!
Mr. Senior Developer!
Won't you offer me a cigarette?
But this one's almost done
Tomorrow onwards, I won't be able to even see you!
A big position!
Did you tell your wife about it?
Not yet. I'll tell her once I get home!
Ahaan!
Someone's gonna get lucky tonight!!!
Can I tell you something?
Amazing job!
Your life's now absolutely set!
Within the next 5 years, you'll be
Principal Developer
Then within the next 10 years
Associate Divsion Head
And 15 years down, I'm sure, you'd have replaced Joshi Sir!
Joshi Sir!!!
I was just praising you!
No, genuinely!
Joshi Sir.
Will you have a chewing gum?
Chewing gum?
No. I've to go back.
I've work to do.
I brought the 'Advance mint' flavoured ones,
especially for you.
I'll take a leave. I've work to do!
Alright then. Anyway, new work starts today for you!
Let's meet at Pandeji's stall in the evening for some mithaee kachori.
6 PM!
Ok!!! I'll let you know
Don't think about it! It's final, OK?
What's up?
I just got back, these PR guys really suck the life out of you!
Rajat, can I come in?
How would I know, it'll take till 7?
Rajesh!
OK.. I'll I'll be there, I'll be there.
Just give me a couple of minutes.
OK?
Bye.
So, Naveen.
I am really sorry, Rajat.
I'm I'm really embarassed about it.
For whatever happened.
After Brazil project, I was really upset,
so I got drunk and I
But anyway I think leaving the job was the right decision.
But I sincererly apologize for the things that I said.
Obviously I didn't mean any of that.
It's OK!!! It happens
We've been working together for three years now. It's OK!!!
Don't stress more. Chill
Thank you.
I brought my resignation.
I just thought
Officialy, I would
What next, then?
Just that. Want to do a start-up, Rajat.
Our B-Plan is in the final round of the NasCom Conclave
Infact, there's a 99% chance, that it's going to get selected
So I am just keeping my fingers crossed.
Wow! Full time start-up, then!
Wow
Then you may have thought about the
The liquidity preferences of the Angel Investors.
Yeah?
You must've also thought about the ESOP pool allocation?
Right?
No. Not exactly!!!
But I am sure with time we will get into it.
You know Rahul Sharma was my batchmate in college.
Rahul Sharma!!!
The co-founder of Micromax.
Ohh, of course! I've read a lot, about him. Really?
Of course! Of course!
You're the entrepreneur.
He'd started exactly like this With a start-up
Look where he is today!
Last year his company was valued at
more then a billion dollars.
Billion dollars, I know, I know.
Have you heard about Harshit Kothari?
He too, was my batchmate.
Harshit?
No?
No
Anyway, even he began with the start-up like this
What was it's name again
Anyway!
To his job, in a couple of years.
There were many more, in my batch
Manoj Agarwal
His brother, Vishal Agarwal
Saurabh Vahi, R.K. Paee
Krishnamurthy
Have you heard about them all?
Saurabh Vahi
I don't think so.
Of course. You're in the big league now!
You're going to win a prestigious competition!
Is this competition held every year?
Yeah, it's been happening for the last 7-8 years now.
Wow! 7-8 years!
Previous winners!!!
Whenever graduates of this country, get bored by their 9 to 5 jobs
So, to get out, they come up with only three options for themselves.
MBA
IAS
or Start-Up.
Go out and take a look, Naveen.
There are start-up founders sitting in 2 out of 3 cabins, out there.
Naveen
Do you really think your idea is one in a million?
Look!
You think this is your passion
And that is why, you're leaving this job.
But, this is not your passion, Naveen.
A long time back.
You wouldn't have waited for being rejected from the Brazil project.
No
NoI don't
I think.
Beijing.
We're beginning our expansion there, 6 months ahead of schedule.
Apointment within a week.
We need someone smart over there
Like you.
You have to leave for your Visa appointment, in Delhi in
The next 20 mins.
You did not make a choice.
Now is the real choice.
Think about it, Naveen.
One in hand is obviously better than
one not-so-sure in the bush.
No?
Yes, Naveen.
In my bathroom.
How will I use your bathroom, after you've asked me not to?
Yeah, tell me?
How strange is this?
Naveen didn't get promoted, so he quit his job.
And now you're thinking of quitting, after you've been promoted.
Human brain is a mystery, bud.
-You wanna order something?
What do you want to order?
Let's do chilly babycorn.
"Rs. 1000 per Kg!"
People planning to quit their job, don't eat babycorn!
Dude, I was told there's going to be an influx of money, ok?
I'm going to get a salary and hence, I'm ordering babycorn!
-Let's order something for Naveen too.
Naveen's not going to be able to make it.
-Mandal?
Where is he?
Actually
He's the one who requested me to come here.
He
had to leave urgently.
But where?
Airport please.
It was a very tough decision for him.
He was very sad.
He waas even crying.
Are you serious? He was crying?
I mean, you can't really tell on the phone, can you?
But his voice
sounded heavy.
But why didn't he call us?
He was in a hurry. So called up his best friend.
He must be feeling really bad about facing you guys.
He must be feeling very guilty.
Could you please drive a little faster?
Or else, I'm going to miss my flight!
Sir, you see how there's so much traffic here!
There's this one other way via Chandivali
Should we try that?
Will it get us to the airport on time?
There won't be any traffic there?
But if we stay stuck here, in this traffic
Then you'll definitely miss your flight!
Alright then, let's try that one, then.
He's not answering his phone.
He won't.
He must've even checked in, by now.
You can talk to him, when he gets back from Delhi, day after.
Come on, cheer up guys!
Trust me. He loves you.
Excuse me! Our pitcher?
Drink guys!
Yogi, you've quit your job.
Isn't that going to be a problem now?
I'll go back tommorow.
What about your phone?
It got spilled on, with coffee, didn't it?
Forget the phone. He burned my leg.
It's become all red!
Have to keep applying burnol, without
letting Soumya know about it!
Let me explain it to you, with beer today.
You're back!!!
I knew it, you'd come!
This motherfker's been talking as if you've died!
You missed your flight?
Didn't miss it. Left it!
Why? Aren't there any bars at the airport?
You think I let go off Beijing for beer?
I came back for the start-up.
Don't worry. Sit down.
Waiter, one more glass please.
What'd happened Naveen?
Rajat asked me if I was sure, that our idea is "one in a million"?
It's just that, I wasn't sure.
So you're sure, now?
No, not sure even now.
But then I thought, if we quit our jobs and try,
we might succeed, or we might not.
But if we don't try, then we'll definitely not succeed.
So basically, the moral of the story is
We're all beers, motherfkers!
OK, time to safeguard your phones!
Lets bottoms up first.
But I don't have a glass, Yogi!
-Take this one.
-And what about you?
I'll drink from the pitcher!
Cheers! Cheers!
Give me a second guys.
- So you're quitting your job tomorow?
Yes Chatty, tell me?
Why would you get married, dude?
It's not cumpolsory, to get arrange married, for sex?
Yogi, it's not really for sex
Soumya's also a very good person!
What happened?
Chatty just called.
Akhil gave us the wrong information!
Our name's not on the winner's list!
I knew it!
Hostel 4 guys are the biggest douchebags!!!
Motherfkers ate bread savouries all night long
And then added their bills to my canteen account!
I hate hostel 4 guys.
But wait
What about my salary now?
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