Twenties (2021) s01e01 Episode Script

1
- A loft in Los Angeles
in Silver Lake, to be exact
a neighborhood that has
recently been bougie-afied.
The walls of this loft have
watched two people
enjoying each other's bodies
and company all morning.
[upbeat classical music]
♪
One is in her 20s
and a lesbian.
This is Hattie.
The other, Lorraine, is not
in her 20s or a lesbian.
♪
But their orientations
are not important.
What is important
is why we are here.
We are in Lorraine's
overpriced loft,
because Hattie has found
a new and creative way
to screw up her life.
Hattie.
More about Hattie later.
All about Hattie,
in fact.
- What you got going on today?
- I'ma try to get
some writing done.
- Take "try to"
out of the sentence.
- You right.
- Yo, are you sure you can't
come to Center Sphere with us?
- There is nothing
I'd rather not do.
I hate that hipster shit.
- Well, can you at least give
me a ride home then?
- You've got to wait for me to
finish my lotion regimen.
- Can't you make an exception
and slap on
some Jergens instead?
- No, I cannot.
- Hey, man, can you hurry up?
Be ashy, shit.
I like ash.
You know what I'm saying?
It adds character
really and truly
you know what I'm saying?
Like you've been through
some things,
look like you done
experienced life.
You don't need a "regiment."
Two pumps, that's all you need,
for real.
- Yeah yeah ♪
- Ah ha I got Melanin ♪
- Oh yeah ♪
- I got Melanin ♪
- You mad ♪
- We got Melanin ♪
Melanin Melanin ♪
Ah ha I ♪
[engine shuts off]
- What the
That's my shit.
[dramatic music]
♪
What the hell?
- Were you late
with your rent again?
- Yeah, but I'm always late.
I was gonna pay it tomorrow.
- You can't just pay your rent
whenever you feel like it.
- Yeah, can you not come at me
right now?
Man, yo.
You got to be a heartless bitch
to throw a vintage "Waiting to
Exhale" T-shirt on the street.
[whining]
I got this in Tokyo.
- Well, don't worry.
'Cause something great
always happens
after you hit rock bottom.
- [whining]
So this is rock bottom?
- I would hope so.
Do you need me to drop you off
someplace?
- No, I just want to sit here
and be alone with my thoughts.
- Okay.
- Hey, you think I could stay
at your crib for a while?
- Moving in is what couples do.
And we're just having fun.
- Now I've hit rock bottom.
- Listen,
I will call you later.
[dramatic orchestral music]
♪
- Hey, Ma.
How you doing?
- I've been better.
Your aunt tried to
come for me yesterday.
- What?
- Came to my house
talking crazy.
- Yeah, that's why I stopped
talking to her a long time ago.
- Well, trust me.
I'm about to follow suit.
Oh, and your cousin got shot
in his good leg last week.
- Which cousin?
- The Muslim one.
- Ma, he ain't Muslim.
He just don't eat pork.
[laughter]
- Well, whatever he is,
somebody shot him.
And his mother want me to come
to the hospital to see him,
but I don't know him like that.
- Yeah, I know.
- How are you?
- I'm fine.
- You still messing
with that straight bitch?
- Lorraine's not straight.
- Well, what is she, bisexual?
- She doesn't
believe in labels.
- Oh, so she like
that Janelle Monáe girl?
- Yeah, Ma.
Just like that.
All right, Ma,
the girls just pulled up.
I got to go.
Love you.
Bye.
[hip-hop music]
♪
- I'm calling it
how I see it ♪
These []
be fake winning ♪
Now where they wanna
be quiet ♪
So it's loud as []
in my session ♪
I feel my blood
is up in a light year ♪
- This is what you get.
- Really, Marie?
- Are you okay?
- Thank you, Nia.
I'm fine.
- Where's your little
girlfriend?
- Don't put "little"
in front of it.
- Why didn't she stay with you?
- 'Cause she had to go to work.
- You could have been
raped or killed.
- In Toluca Lake?
And who gonna rape me, honey,
a dentist?
- This is crazy.
- No.
This is what happens when you
don't pay your rent on time.
- Oh, my God.
This is the first ottoman I
reupholstered for you.
Now it's ruined.
- Yo, who are you calling?
- Chuck, so he can come help us
pack up your shit.
- We ain't packing up shit,
okay?
We are going to Center Sphere.
I am ready to get my life from
"All About Eve."
- You just got evicted,
and you're trying to go sit on
the grass and watch a movie?
- Yes, bitch.
[funky music]
- La-la la-la-la ♪
La-la la-la-la ♪
- Why did Lorraine have to rush
to work?
Doesn't she work for herself?
- She works for a lot of
people, actually.
She runs people's websites
and shit.
She can't just not show up
because I got put out.
- How hard is it to make
a website?
And who even has websites
anymore?
- Marie, be nice.
- I just want you to stop
dating these basic bitches
that treat you like a pit stop
on the way to dating
some wack-ass dude
with a wave cap
and ashy ankles.
- Sexuality is fluid.
- Yeah, but if she don't want
to end up with you,
what is the point?
- It's okay.
It's about preferences.
You go through seasons.
You, like
- But you always dating people
in a straight season.
Why don't you just date
another gay girl?
- Are you guys just gonna act
like you don't see
this engagement ring
on my finger?
- Who proposed to you?
- I did.
- Oh, Lord.
- I bought it as an early
birthday present for myself.
- Wait.
[laughs]
Is this like that black chick
in Atlanta
that married herself?
[laughter]
- No.
It's a promise ring, fool.
- And what you promising?
- To remain a virgin
until I find the one.
- But you're not a virgin.
- Aren't I, though?
- No, you aren't.
- Yeah, you told us
you lost your virginity
to some light-skinned dude
named Chauncey
- Chauncey.
- When you was in high school.
- But my hymen
wasn't compromised.
- It still counts.
- Then I promise
to remain celibate
until I find a love like
my favorite couple.
- Oh, the one on the secret
vision board?
- Yep.
- I still don't understand why
we can't see it.
- Because a vision board is
like a birthday wish.
If I show it to you,
my visions won't come true.
- Well, just tell us who
the couple is.
- No.
- Dwayne and Willie.
- [chuckles]
Halle Berry and Sam Jackson
in "Jungle Fever."
[laughter]
- Hell no.
- Look, I have a man
both: We know.
- And I didn't have to use
a vision board to get him.
[phone clicks]
- Everyone falls ♪
In love sometime ♪
both: Sometimes it's wrong ♪
all: And sometimes
it's right ♪
For every win ♪
Someone must fail ♪
But there comes a point
when ♪
When we exhale ♪
Yeah yeah say ♪
Shoop shoop shoop ♪
Shoop be doop shoop shoop ♪
Shoop be doop ♪
All you've got to do
is say ♪
Shoop be doop ♪
- Shoop shoop ♪
Shoop be doop shoop shoop ♪
Shoop be ♪
Shoop be shoop be ♪
Say shoop ♪
Shoop be doop ♪
Doo-doo shoop be ♪
Shoop be ♪
Feels all right ♪
You can say ♪
Oh shoop be doop ♪
♪
- So many things I want to be
for Bill.
Funny business,
a woman's career,
the things you drop on
your way up the ladder
so you can move faster.
Being a woman.
Sooner or later,
we've got to work at it.
No matter how many
other careers
- Why are we always the only
black people here?
- 'Cause, you know black people
don't like being outside.
- I wonder if I can date
a white guy.
- You need to date whoever
willing to put up
with your crazy ass.
- Just because I'm a firm
believer in safe sex
does not make me crazy.
- Having dudes taking STD tests
and then bringing you
the printed results
with the doctor's signature
at the bottom
is a little crazy.
- I don't see the problem.
- Of course you don't.
And one day you'll wake up
and be 40 and realize
you're still childless
and alone.
- Don't put that
into the universe.
- Yeah, words have power.
- I'm just trying to help.
- Everybody doesn't want
your help, Marie.
- You need it.
- Actually, I don't.
- Oh, so you don't need
somewhere to live?
- That's needing a favor.
That's different.
- Well, if you want to
stay with me,
you need to let me
help you get a job.
- That's cool, but I don't want
some stressful 9:00 to 5:00
that's gonna take me away
from my writing.
- My friend runs Ida B.'s
production company,
and I heard she's still looking
for an assistant.
- I keep forgetting all you
black execs know each other.
- Yeah, 'cause there are
seven of us.
- I love Ida B.
She's a bad bitch.
- Nah, I'm good on that.
- Hattie, you have been
out here for three years,
and what do you have
to show for it?
- Look, we are living in the
New Black Renaissance, okay?
I'm black and I'm gay.
Hollywood should be
knocking down my door.
- But while you are
striving for greatness,
why not work for somebody
who has the career
you ultimately want?
- I don't want Ida B.'s career.
"My Bae" is an awful show.
- No, it's not.
- I love that show.
- No, y'all don't.
You could barely get
through first season.
- That is not true.
- Mm-mm.
- What did you like about it?
- I like that
it's about black love.
- And I am just glad it exists.
- Those are not good reasons
to like a show.
- We need to support
black shit.
- No, we should support
good shit
that just happens to be black.
- If you don't take
the interview,
you can't stay with me.
- Fine, I'll stay with Nia.
- Sorry, boo.
You know I don't like being on
Marie's bad side.
- Ain't that about a bitch?
[laughs]
[fireworks booming]
[light orchestral music]
♪
- Look, look, look.
♪
[distorted]
That's lit.
[upbeat percussive music]
[birds chirping]
- The first song I sang in
church was a song called
Guide me oh oh oh ♪
Thou ♪
Great Jehovah ♪
- Mm.
- Feed me till I want ♪
No more ♪
Yeah.
[cheers and applause]
- She's not gonna be here
that long, I promise.
- Muffin, I like Hattie a lot,
but if she's here,
it's not gonna help
with our dry spell.
- We have sex in the morning
anyway,
and Hattie doesn't wake up
till noon.
- Maybe that's why
she can't keep a job.
- [inhales and exhales]
- So you're good
if Hattie stays?
- Uh, yep.
No, she can stay here as long
as she needs to.
- Uh, uh, okay, well, we're
gonna need to get some lube
if you're gonna do that.
- Well, we're out of
the blueberry stuff.
- I told you to buy some
the last time we were at
the Pleasure Chest.
- Well, I'll just use spit.
- You know saliva
grosses me out.
- You don't have to look at it.
Okay.
[phone chiming
"Halloween Theme"]
- Oh, shit, stop.
That's my boss.
I've got to get it.
Hello.
Yes.
No, now is a great time.
Absolutely.
Mm-hmm.
I can do that.
- How are we feeling about
the pocket square?
Is it too much?
- Nah, I like it.
- Jacket or no jacket?
- No jacketyou don't
want to look desperate.
- Yeah, that's true,
but these jeans
are a little too tight,
though.
- They fit perfectly.
- I know, Nia.
I don't want them to.
- Fine.
- Thank you so much for
setting this up.
- Mm, mm, mm.
- Shower her with compliments.
Tell her how much you love
her earlier work.
- Her earlier work was
a struggle, but a'ight.
Thank you.
[light funky music]
♪
[phone chimes]
♪
Yeah, this is it right here.
- Yeah, that's cute.
- Yeah.
All right, well, look, I'ma let
y'all figure out
who gonna pay for what,
and I'ma go get in line.
- Yeah I think
you know that ♪
- Why is she such a hot mess?
- She's just in a valley
right now.
- She needs to hurry up
and get out of it.
- Well, it took you a long time
to get out of yours.
Remember when you and Chuck
went on that break
and you accidentally cut
your bangs too short?
- Yeah, that was a dark period.
- [chuckles]
Your skin looks good.
- Thank, Ni.
- I pay for the shirt,
you pay for the jeans?
- The jeans are more expensive.
- Bitch, I know.
♪
[spacey electronic music]
♪
- [exhales]
[indistinct chatter]
[R&B music]
♪
- The one drags on ♪
And a paradise ♪
Is a place
that everyone should know ♪
- Hey.
- Where wishes and dreams
really do come true ♪
And to prove it
I'll tell where it is ♪
Just to you ♪
- Giving yourself a tour,
I see.
I'm Ida.
- I know.
- I know you know.
I just think it's weird to
shake someone's hand
and not introduce yourself.
- That makes sense.
- Of course it does.
Have a seat.
Not there.
That's my chair.
- Oh.
- You can sit on the couch.
- Oh, my bad.
- It's all good, sis.
So you want to be my assistant.
- That's the job, right?
- Yeah, it doesn't mean
that you wanna do it.
- Oh, no, I definitely
want to do it.
I would love to learn from
someone like you.
I mean, you've accomplished
so much in your career.
It would be an honor
to watch you work.
- How old are you?
- 24.
- Hmm, you're a child.
What do you want to do?
- I want to write for
television.
- Comedy or drama?
- Comedy.
- That last time I sat down
with a comedy writer,
I couldn't stop laughing.
- Ha-haha.
- Let me guess,
you're a big fan of "My Bae."
- How could I not be?
It's a phenomenal show.
- What did you like most
about last season?
- I love when Tariff reads
The Koran to Isabelle
as a way of apologizing for
cheating on her with a dude.
- That happened first season.
- I know, but it was
so memorable.
Like, it feels recent,
you know?
- Ohh, you are so full of shit.
- Excuse me?
- See, being
my personal assistant
isn't just a regular job.
You have to be in my home,
in my space.
It means I have to trust you
completely.
- Mm-hmm.
- So I'm gonna do my research.
"'My Bae' is a show about
an accomplished black woman
getting dickmatized
by a Hotep."
- Oh, my God.
- No, don't call on Him now.
You're the one who tweeted it.
- Yeah, like, six years ago.
- I did a deep dive.
"'My Bae' is basically telling
women that they need to find
"a man who isn't afraid
to tell them what to do,
even if that man works
at Radio Shack."
Should I keep going?
- Please don't.
- No, no, no,
last but not least,
"The saddest part
about this show
"is that the people making it
think it's brilliant.
"But the truth is,
the direction is weird,
"the writing is awful,
the acting is a struggle.
"They need somebody
to tell them, 'That ain't it.'
"Well, I guess I've got to be
that somebody.
Dear Ida B.,
this ain't it."
- I'm so sorry.
- Don't apologize.
Just be honest.
- Okay, fine.
I think the show sucks.
And to be honest, you could use
your platform to do a lot more
than just showing a dope black
woman falling in love
with a fake-ass
Billy D. Williams.
- Well, when you get
your platform,
you can do whatever you like
with it.
I have a feeling in
about ten years
you're gonna be sitting
in a chair
just like the one
I'm sitting in
and a house that
your bad show paid for,
and some girl 20 years
your junior is gonna be sitting
across from you telling you
how to do your job.
- From your lips to God's ears.
- Lupita will see you out.
- The actress?
- The maid.
- Oh.
[funky electronic music]
♪
[funky music]
♪
- I can't believe
you tweeted that.
- I can't believe she stalked
my profile page.
- I know.
- She did what any woman in
her position is supposed to do.
- What happened?
- Ida found some shady tweets
Hattie posted about "My Bae."
- Oh, my God.
I love that show.
♪
- It's cool.
I didn't want that job no way.
- But you need it.
- I'll figure it out.
- Where's Lorraine?
- She had to work late.
- Oh, a website emergency?
- Don't do that.
- Do what?
Stop it.
- What?
I just want everything to be
nice and neat.
- Everything doesn't have to be
nice and neat all the time.
- Relax.
- Don't tell me to relax.
- [scoffs]
Somebody need to.
- You know what, Hattie?
- What?
- You don't want to be
a writer.
- Yes, I do.
- No, because if you wanted to
be a writer,
you'd be writing every day.
If you wanted to be a writer,
you'd be at the WGA
reading scripts.
If you wanted to be a writer,
you wouldn't be tweeting shady
shit about a popular show
that you could
potentially work on.
- Don't talk to me
like I'm a child.
- Then don't act like one.
- Why don't you stop
micromanaging my life
and worry about
why you and Chuck
ain't had sex
in three months.
- Ooh.
♪
- [clears throat]
Really, babe?
- Get out.
- I ain't going nowhere.
- Not on my birthday.
♪
Sit.
Both of you need
to take a breath.
♪
- Ben and I are gonna go check
on something in the kitchen.
- Honey, do you need help in
the kitchen?
- No, we got it.
- Okay.
♪
- Look, you can come for me
when it's just us three,
but don't do it in front of
your coworker
and his random
white girlfriend.
- I'm not random.
♪
- Marie,
say you're sorry.
- I'm sorry.
- Hattie.
- Me too.
- Now, can I change
the subject?
- Please.
- I went on a date yesterday.
- Oh.
- What did y'all do?
- We went for coffee.
- That's cute.
- Yeah, it was.
We were laughing.
He was flirting.
His beard was perfect.
He was wearing Invisalign,
which I appreciated.
- Nice.
- And then this fool
asked if we can
split the check.
- Who goes Dutch
on a first date?
- Maybe he was broke.
- Then we should have went
for a walk in the park.
Don't ask me to go on a date
you can't afford.
- Going Dutch isn't that crazy.
- It is if you're Jamaican.
- Why does everything go back
to you being Jamaican?
- Because my mother
and all my aunties
taught me what
it meant to be a lady.
And I was raised to date
a real man,
not some boy that can't afford
to pay for my coffee.
- Mm-hmm.
- Happy birthday ♪
- What?
- To you ♪
- [laughs]
- Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday, dear Nia ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
- Yay.
You guys are great.
[majestic orchestral music]
♪
[sweeping orchestral music]
♪
[doorbell rings]
♪
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
Don't make me get my pit.
- Please don't.
Look, there aren't
a lot of black women
doing what you're doing, and
you've opened a lot of doors
for women like me.
As artists, we have the right
to express ourselves
however we want to.
Instead of
celebrating your show,
I threw shade at it,
and for that, I'm deeply sorry.
- Are you done?
- Yes.
- What's the point of
speaking your mind
if you're only gonna
apologize for it?
You were right.
The show could be better.
I just wanted to tell
our love story,
and even though
our love didn't last,
I wanted to make it beautiful.
Look, I pride myself in knowing
what black women want.
And they want nothing more than
to see a strong black man
sweep a black woman
off her feet.
They want a fantasy, so that's
what I try to give them.
Your tweets hurt.
But at least they were honest.
- So is there any chance I
could still be your assistant?
- Hell no.
I gave that job to
a chipper white girl.
But I do need a writers' PA.
- So that means
longer hours and less money.
- Yep.
- I'll take it.
- Great.
You start tomorrow.
And remember,
if you're on time, you're late.
- I got it.
[light music]
♪
- [grunting]
♪
[telephone rings]
- Hello.
- Hey, Ma.
How you doing?
- You know how I'm doing.
I talked to you yesterday.
How are you?
- I'm great.
I just got a job.
- Well, thank you, Jesus.
Well, I hope you got a job
writing on that show "Power."
Ooh, with 50 Cent
and that Omari Hardwick boy,
ooh, honey, they can get it.
And all that shootin'
and killin'.
That's fantastic.
- Nah, I'm not black enough to
write for "Power."
But I did get a writers' PA job
for "My Bae."
- Oh, I can't stand that show.
I fell asleep on that show
three times
trying to watch it.
Well, you know what?
At least you got a job.
'Cause I thought you was gonna
be damn near homeless.
I thought in a minute you was
about to start selling
your ass for money.
And you know you can't
come back here, right?
I need you to work on
that "Power."
Wherever you've got to get
your blackness, get it.
You make your mama proud.
And then youyou get 50 Cent
my number.
[laughs]
Is that it? I'm trying to
finish up this game.
I've got a lot of people over
here today.
- Yeah, that's it.
- All right, love you.
- I love you too.
[dramatic orchestral music]
♪
[engine grinding]
Damn it.
[Dionne Farris' "Hopeless"]
♪
- Hello morning ♪
Now when does
the fun begin ♪
♪
But see I've cried
just a little too long ♪
And now it's time for me
to move on ♪
They say I'm hopeless ♪
Mm-mm-mm ♪
As a penny
with a hole in it ♪
Penny with a,
penny with a hole in it ♪
Yeah yeah yeah,
they say ♪