Ugly Betty s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
I like your poncho.
My dad got me one in Guadalajara.
Milan.
Dolce & Gabbana.
Fall.
Betty Suarez? Hi.
That's me.
Um, I have a hard copy of my resume if you need it.
Should I follow you? Actually there's been a mistake.
A mistake? All the entry-level positions we were hiring for they've been filled.
I'm sorry.
Um, sir? While you got me here, I thought I could tell you a little about myself.
Magazines are my passion, ever since I was a kid, and I can't imagine a more amazing place to start my career than Meade Publications.
I know most of your magazines inside out.
I try to devour as much as I can.
Clearly.
Also, I've learned so much through them.
You know, stuff so beyond my world, like- like who the up-and-comers are on the London art scene, or- or what the political machinations in Darfur are all about, or which Bali Resort is considered the most romantic in the world.
And I have tons of ideas.
I'm always jotting stuff down on the subway.
But I'm getting ahead of myself, sir.
- All I really want is a chance - Good-bye! in any position or publication- I can type 100 words a minute! I hate telenovelas.
I wanna watch Fashion TV.
Justin, you can watch Fashion TV later when your aunt Betty is babysitting, okay? Come have some flan.
I don't want flan.
I'll get fat.
Honey, you're a boy.
It doesn't matter if you're fat or not.
Betty, did you order dad's birthday cake? Of course.
Chocolate volcano, same one I got last year.
So how was your interview? Um I think it was really good.
I mean, they were impressed.
You didn't get it.
Well, they said that they had hired everyone they needed.
I don't understand you're sharp, you're prepared.
Someone should have begged you to work for them the day you graduated Queens College.
Betty, have you thought about exploring other options? Hilda, I am not going to sell Herbalux.
Well, I wasn't saying that necessarily.
- Dad.
- This career is Betty's dream.
Okay, but I hear somebody else has some pretty big dreams, too.
What are you talking about? Justin, tell your aunt Betty what her boyfriend was saying the other night.
Walter was on his cell phone talking to someone, and he said, "she's the one.
" He wants to marry you? He does? Well, would you do it? Well, I mean- we haven't talked about that yet, but- Well, I think he's a catch.
Flan? That's him.
Hi, Ignacio, Hilda.
Hi, Betty.
Hey.
Here.
It's a return.
The mute doesn't work, but it sounds awesome.
Thank you.
Uh - Betty, can we talk? - Yes.
Sure.
Oh, um, outside.
Yeah, okay.
Celebrity-studded funeral services were held today for Fey Sommers, the much loved and hated editor in chief of fashion bible "Mode" magazine.
It was the bitch slap heard 'round the world when longtime "Mode" creative director Wilhelmina Slater was passed over for the top spot in favor of Daniel Meade, the nominally experienced son of Meade Publications owner Bradford Meade.
Can the notorious manwhore translate his talent at bedding women into dressing them? How do you like your new office? You scared me.
Um would you just, uh, give me a few minutes? There's some- some things I need to wrap up before I leave.
Interesting decorating motif.
You can get up.
He knows you're there.
I'd like to introduce you my new assistant Charmaine.
I'm sorry to interrupt your dictation, but this is not the way you run a magazine.
What? I'm in love with someone else.
But How? I I mean, I thought we Well, who is it? - Gina Gambarro? - I'm sorry, I - I - No.
You don't have to say anything else.
Good luck, Betty, with everything.
Are you feeling any better? I'm fine.
Hello? Some guy from Meat Publications.
Meade? This is Betty Suarez.
Are you serious? Yeah! I- yeah, of course I-I can start tomorrow.
Um, what magazine is this for? "Mode"? Yeah, I'll be there first thing in the morning.
Okay! Thank you.
Bye! Assistant to the editor in chief! I didn't know you wanted to work for "Mode.
" Well, this wouldn't have been my first choice, but if I do good here, I can go anywhere in the company.
Well, just try and dress fashionably.
Do have anything? Actually, I do.
Oh, my god.
Hi.
You the "before"? Before and after- the photo shoot.
Are you delivering something? Oh, no! No.
I- I work here.
For? For the new editor in chief.
So everyone's in the conference room, and Daniel's about to start his first staff meeting.
- I'm Amanda, by the way.
- Betty.
Okay, F.
Y.
I.
, Betsy, assistants are usually here before their bosses.
Oh, well, I was filling out paperwork in H.
R.
Yeah, just don't let it happen again.
So, uh, where do you come from? Queens.
What job did you have? Oh, actually, apart from internships and part-time jobs to pay for school, this is my first real job.
That's funny.
I was told I didn't have enough experience for the position.
It's over there.
You are an attractive, intelligent, confident businesswoman.
So I gotta confess- I'm probably not gonna remember everyone's names, and I'm really, uh Are you okay? I'm okay.
I'm fine.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
Anyway, uh, I wish I wasn't- Uh, I wish I wasn't coming in as a new guy under such terrible circumstances.
I realize I have some awful big teeth-shoes to fill, but I can't tell you how excited I am to be working with such an amazingly talented and dedicated staff.
Now I'd like to take the moment to talk a little - about some of the ideas- - So sorry I'm late.
Oh, you began without me.
- Sorry, Wilhelmina, I waited- - Shh! Marc gift.
Thank you.
As I was saying, I really wanna- Well, aren't you gonna open it? Swarovski crystal, to commemorate your first day.
Thank you.
But it is "Daniel," not "Danny.
" What? I'm hellaciously upset, Marc.
Oh, my god, I am so sorry.
Shh! Purge this from memory, please.
As I was saying, it's a particularly exciting time for me because- I think we need to discuss the Fabia Cosmetics supplement.
Fabia Cosmetics? The biggest ad buy of the year, and the only paid layout editorial ever works on.
Well, I'm sure Fabia will love whatever we come up with, right? Daniel, you-you don't understand.
Given the new circumstances, Fabia needs to sign off on the spread before we go to print.
Obviously, we're all here to help you succeed, and we've got plenty of ideas.
So I think we all need to get back to work to make sure that this- your very first issue with your name on the masthead- sparkles.
Okay, everyone, let's not dillydally.
Our editor needs us.
- Killer poncho.
- Thanks! Mr.
Meade? Excuse me, um, Mr.
Meade? Hi.
Um, I just wanted to come and introduce myself personally.
I'm Betty Suarez.
It's a-a pleasure to meet you.
Hi, Betty.
Um, um who do you work for? Well, um, I work for you.
I'm your new assistant.
Did you get the crease under the hairline? Yes, Willie.
No one has done more, worked harder I have bled for this magazine, helped make it into the icon it is today, and that nasty, nepotistic son of a bitch gives my job to his His son.
Who's a self-absorbed, lothario punk who knows nothing about fashion! Tell me the truth- is it because I'm getting old? Absolutely not.
Ugh! Though you could do with a tad bit more between the brows.
So what are you gonna do? Just wait and see.
Well, he's well on his way to falling flat on his face.
I mean, can you believe that assistant? This is "Mode," not "Dog Fancy.
" Done.
What do you want me to do with the, uh leftover? All yours.
Give me a moment, Marc.
How are you recovering, darling? Well, I'm sure you'll feel better once, uh, everything here starts coming to a boil.
Here.
Oh, thank you.
What are you doing? Um, I'm just gathering information on Fabia for Daniel.
Ugh, she is so fabulously douchey.
Who's he in with? Oh, um, Phillippe Michel.
He's a photographer.
Oh.
He's doing the supplement, isn't he? Oh, he's amazing.
He's shot, like, everything.
Yeah, I think- you know, it looks like they're really good friends.
Oh, well, there had been some drama.
Daniel hooked up with Phillippe's ex-girlfriend a couple of years ago.
But they're fine now.
Yeah, we went out for, like, a week.
And they don't call him "the tripod" because he's a photographer, if you catch my drift.
This is crap.
No.
No.
Too down, too out.
Can't go there.
All this is terrible.
That's what I thought.
Phillippe, can I trust you with something? Of course, Daniel.
You know you're like a brother to me.
I don't think anyone wants me here, especially Wilhelmina.
Well, that's no secret.
I think she's trying to take me in the wrong direction with this Fabia layout.
Do you have any ideas? Like, a million, but keep things on the Q.
T.
Most of these people are still loyal to Wilhelmina, and you don't want them mucking things up.
Um, sorry to interrupt, but can I get you lunch? No, no, but you go ahead.
Thanks.
Hi, I'm a really big fan of yours.
That travel layout you did with the tiki torches, wow, that was- that was really gorgeous.
Thank you.
Yeah, it kind of reminded me of this Hiroaki spread I'd seen a couple of years ago.
Hey, listen, I don't know who you are or what you're implying, but, um, I would never use another photographer's idea.
Oh, no, no! No, no, I wasn't- I wasn't saying um I- I should go.
What's the story here? I know the type of women you hire.
My father made me.
You're kidding me? Look, she appears to be good, capable- Fugly! Listen to me, you are the editor in chief of "Mode" magazine.
This business is all image.
Is that what you want representing you? Paparazzi taking your pictures, and she's standing behind? Well, I can't fire her, Phillippe.
Well what if she quits? And how do I get her to do that? You beat her down to a pulp.
Hey, you.
Betty, right? Daniel Meade's new assistant? Yeah.
How did you know that? Oh, everybody knows everything around here.
I'm Christina.
I work in the closet.
The closet? What- Mm-hmm, where all the clothes are kept.
I act as an in-house seamstress, sort of track of things.
Sometimes, they even let me keep some of the crappy stuff from last season, but, you know, I have to improvise 'cause everything is a size zero! - Voila.
- Nice.
Anyway, well, I like it.
Mostly 'cause I'm by myself, - away from all the chic-ees.
- The chic-ees? Yeah, the bitches that work at "Mode.
" Hey, girls! Zelda, Nancy, this is Betty.
- Oh, hi! - Hi! - It's nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
It's the bizarro version of "Sex and the City.
" Stop it, I'm gagging! Funny, you look like any old schlub sitting here, feeding these stupid pigeons.
I doubt if any old schlub would be feeding them artisanal pain de mie they made themselves.
There's nothing to worry about.
She's gone.
Weren't you sitting front row at the funeral? Closed casket.
Double triple-check.
The things Fey Sommers knew about me, about the company I'm on it.
Hi, Betty.
There's a problem with my lunch.
Okay.
I love cole slaw.
I hate cabbage.
But cole slaw is No, no, no.
No, I know.
I just- I- I like the-the tart, tangy dressing.
Can you do something about it Before it gets to room temperature? # She works hard for the money # # So hard for it, honey # # She works hard for the money # # So you better treat her right # Hello? Hi, Daniel.
# So hard for it, honey # # She works hard for the money # # So you better treat her right # # Onetta there in the corner stands # # And she wonders where she is # # And it's strange to her # # Some people seem # # to have everything # Hi.
Betty, where are you? I'm still working.
You forgot, didn't you? Oh, my god, dad's birthday.
Yeah, I was busy.
Look, I gotta go, okay? I'll get home as soon as I can.
Um, yeah, the, uh the red turkey is on the move.
Hold on it's work stuff.
Will ya sleep over another night? Sure.
So, uh, when's this position gonna open? Oh, hopefully, very, very soon.
Oh, okay.
Well, uh, good night boss.
Bye! - Hey.
- Hi.
Do you-do you need anything else? Why don't you stick around for a little bit, make sure everything's okay? Yeah.
Okay, no-no problem.
Perfect timing.
Oh, Walter! You're such a big boy.
He's sleeping.
Hilda, I know Do you realize this is the first time since mom died that we haven't all been together on his birthday? Yes, I realize that, and I am sorry, - but I was working- - It's fine, Betty.
I just hope it's all worth it.
We saved you a piece of cake.
It's in the fridge.
Oh, this photo shoot is gonna be absolutely sick.
Best supplement we've ever done for Fabia by far.
Oh, yeah, I'm-I'm on my way to set as we speak.
Hello? It's a really exciting day, huh? I mean, with the photo shoot.
Hey, Daniel, I know you're really overwhelmed right now, but I was wondering, there was something that I just Daniel, you know, I was wondering if you had a quick moment- Do I look like I have a "quick moment"? No.
So sorry.
Damn it! They forgot one of the outfits.
Go up to the closet and bring it to set.
Please? Feel the fabric on that thing.
It's kind of rough.
That's because it's burlap.
Basically, you're talking $7,000 for a designer potato sack.
I can't believe people actually buy this stuff.
I can't believe they wear it.
And usually just once before they'll chuck it to make room for the next season.
But that's fashion, and I've got to say, I love it.
Oh, you're not too much into it, are you? Um, no.
Not really.
So how's it going? Um Brutal, huh? Well, nothing I do is good enough.
He treats me like dirt.
I mean, just now I was trying to show him this one idea that I had It would've taken him he bit my head off.
What? Betty Nancy was down in human resources, and some people there were talking, and, uh well, apparently, Bradford was the one that wanted to hire you.
Bradford Meade? Wait, he knows who I am? He made Daniel hire you 'cause he didn't want his son to be tempted to sleep with his assistants anymore.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry, Betty.
- No, that-that explains a lot.
- Betty- No, no, really, it's fine.
I should be grateful that I got my break.
It's not so easy for everyone.
This is just how it was supposed to happen for me.
Well, I should be going, so Thank you.
Oh! So, uh, I was just on my lunch break, and I thought I'd stop by.
This is really amazing.
Thank you, Amanda.
And if you need anything Traffic or hangover? Did-did anyone read the contract to her? She needs to be here for the test shots! Hey, what's going on? Izabela, the brazilian model she's late.
This is a crazy, complicated shoot, and I need her dressed and ready right now.
Phillippe, they're test shots.
Let's just use the stand-in.
No, no, she's too specific.
I need someone with her-with her skin tone.
Someone like her.
Funny.
I bet you she quits before she does it.
Whoops, excuse me.
Betty! Oh, I am so glad you're here.
Listen, we have a crisis and we really need your help.
Okay.
Uh, one of our models didn't show up.
We really need someone to stand in for her in wardrobe.
Um, so you want-you want me to do it? Well? Well- this is what you want me to do? Yeah! Well, it looks like she finally quit.
Good.
Smart ass had no business working for you in the first place.
# Please allow me to # # introduce myself # # My name is superstar # # Short for nothing # Where do you want me? Right there is fine.
I see a shadow.
Can you move that light over to the right? Thank you.
Movement, ladies.
Movement.
Sexy.
More, more.
Give me more.
Okay, you're devouring the camera with your eyes.
Give me a little more coquette, Betty.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Betty, wait! This is what you wanted, isn't it, to humiliate me and make me quit? God forbid you had to work with the ugly girl your dad forced you to hire.
Well, congratulations.
Chamomile? Thank you, Justin.
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
It happens.
Mom said she wasn't surprised.
Hilda said that? She said all the stuff you wanna do, owning a magazine, doesn't happen for people like us unless you're J.
Lo or something.
She said she wishes you'd be more realistic, but I think she's full of crap.
- Hold this.
- What what are you doing? I just wanna say that this is really unfair.
I live two doors down! I can see you! What the hell you doing? Um where's Walter? It's over.
Look, Walter- he's sweet and everything- but I told him from the start I wasn't looking for anything serious.
And he said fine, he could still get me 30% off a flat screen.
You used him for his discount? Oh, he offered.
Bitch! You broke my plasma! We're so thrilled to have you here, Fabia.
Now, why don't we let the pictures speak for themselves? Smettila! This is freaking joke, right? Uh, no.
You stupido.
All of you, stupido! Idiots, idiots! What-what just happened?! Well Fabia's probably still a little sensitive about the accident.
Accident? Oh, you didn't know.
About a month ago, she backed her S.
U.
V.
into 12 people outside Marquee.
I was in Saint-Tropez.
I had no idea.
Why-why didn't anyone say anything? Daniel, if I may, you didn't include me in the concept.
And we all thought you knew what you were doing.
Fabia's not just talking about canceling the "Mode" supplement.
She's considering Pulling advertising from every single one of my magazines.
Is it true you worked on this on your own, didn't consult Wilhelmina or anyone else? Look, I can explain.
I had-I had a very strong feeling she was trying to sabotage me.
The only person who sabotaged you was yourself.
Sorry I let you down.
Well, I'm sorry I keep hoping you'll be something you're clearly not.
- My leg is cramping.
- Look, I can fix this.
I'll just present her with a whole new idea.
We just closed book.
It's too late.
Tomorrow morning.
Please.
Give me another chance.
Daniel called again looking for you.
What part of "unavailable" does he not understand? I'll let him know.
He really should've come to me earlier.
It wouldn't have made any difference now, would it? Not really.
To teamwork.
To revenge.
He has a heart condition.
Yes, he-he needs his medication.
But you can't just cover the pills and then randomly decide to stop.
But it's-it's a real person's health, it's not a case number.
Give me the phone.
I'll let 'em have it.
No.
No, I don't wanna hold again.
Not again.
No, just wait- It's fine.
We'll just- we'll get 'em tomorrow.
It's fine.
Thank you, mi amor.
You're so much better at dealing with this bureaucratic stuff than I am.
No, you know I don't mind.
I know.
You're always so good to me.
So strong, determined, optimistic just like your mother was.
Why haven't you returned my calls? I've been busy.
Betty, I need to talk to you.
I made a terrible mistake.
Wait, did you realize this before or after Gina dumped you? What? No, no, I broke up with her.
Betty, it was wrong, and I wanna make this up to you.
I- Betty.
Are you dating someone? Walter, please go! Dating this guy? Look, you need to go.
Please.
You need to go.
But, Betty, I-I What are you doing here? I wanna talk.
It's a nice place.
Yeah, we're just in between interior designers.
- Really? - No.
Oh, right.
It's a joke.
Betty, I am so sorry.
You didn't deserve what I put you through.
I- I listened to all the wrong people about a lot of things, and I have no one to blame but myself.
Well, I appreciate that, Daniel.
But you're going to leave here, and you're going to take your town car back to your soho loft, and I'm still gonna be here- out of work and dealing with problems that you'll never understand.
Try me.
Betty, come on, we've all got problems.
Oh, and what are yours, Daniel, what restaurant you're gonna eat at, which model you're gonna sleep with? Try spending the day on the phone with some crappy H.
M.
O.
, getting them to cover your dad's prescriptions.
Or try lining up a job-any job- 'cause you have to help pay the rent next month.
Look I lost a brother a while back.
He was the good one in our family, and I've never quite measured up.
But I am trying.
Betty, I-I could never compare my problems to yours, but they're mine.
Nothing's ever easy.
I saw the layout you made for Fabia.
You did? I thought it was very smart and beautiful.
Well, thank you.
I want to take your ideas to Fabia, giving you credit, of course.
And I really want you to come back, be my assistant.
I promise you things will be different.
I- Daniel, I-I mean, I- I really have to think about that.
Well you have tonight, otherwise, I'll probably be out of a job as well.
Did you hear that? Every word.
So where the hell is he? He said 10:00 a.
m.
Well, Fabia on behalf of the entire magazine, ci perdoni.
This whole thing has been unacceptable.
Marc.
Now that I have a moment of your time, I'd like to show you some of my ideas.
Sorry we're late.
There was obviously no time for a new photo shoot, so, uh, what we're gonna be showing you is just a rough idea.
Oh! Uh, wait.
No, this is-this is not the right file.
Um, just one sec-one second.
This is it.
Um in order to show the softer side of Fabia Cosmetics, we're going to use the concept of mothers and daughters, focusing on the small, special moments that- that are usually taken for granted, the theme being, "it's not the big events but the little moments" that matter.
I just had a daughter.
I do none of those things but I can understand.
What makes you think this is going to appeal to my customers? Um.
Well, if-if I may, I do have the statistics here.
Um, though one might assume that your demographic is very young, in fact, there's been tremendous brand loyalty since you've launched, which means that the people who were teenagers when they began using your cosmetics, well, now, like you, they are beginning to settle down and have children- um, 58% to be exact.
And you could do this in time? Of course.
Uh, did you want to approve the, uh, uh, models and images beforehand? Nah.
Just make sure it's not too sappy.
Do a picture where they're pulling their hair or biting each other.
So that's nice.
Now I go.
Good work.
- Oh, the idea was actually- - His best one, don't you think? Indeed.
Welcome back, boss.
Marc.
I'm very unhappy.
It's a setback.
But it's just a matter of time.
Once he's out of the picture, the company will be ours for the taking.
Considering the way everything's played out, it seems to me that you should keep an eye on that damn ugly assistant.
What's her name? Betty.
- Betty.
- Betty.
Betty.
Betty! Betty.
Oh, Christina, thank you again, so much.
No, no, no.
Go.
Go.
You should've let me tell him it was your idea.
Don't worry.
I will the next time.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
So I've confirmed your lunch for tomorrow and your 3:15 with the graphics department is set.
- The feature editor would like- - Betty Tomorrow morning.
It's okay.
Good night.
# Well, her face is a map of the world # # Is a map of the world # # You can see she's a beautiful girl # # She's a beautiful girl # # Suddenly I see # # Suddenly I see # # This is what I wanna be # # Suddenly I see # # Suddenly I see # # Why the hell it # # means so much to me # # Suddenly I see # # This is what I wanna be #
My dad got me one in Guadalajara.
Milan.
Dolce & Gabbana.
Fall.
Betty Suarez? Hi.
That's me.
Um, I have a hard copy of my resume if you need it.
Should I follow you? Actually there's been a mistake.
A mistake? All the entry-level positions we were hiring for they've been filled.
I'm sorry.
Um, sir? While you got me here, I thought I could tell you a little about myself.
Magazines are my passion, ever since I was a kid, and I can't imagine a more amazing place to start my career than Meade Publications.
I know most of your magazines inside out.
I try to devour as much as I can.
Clearly.
Also, I've learned so much through them.
You know, stuff so beyond my world, like- like who the up-and-comers are on the London art scene, or- or what the political machinations in Darfur are all about, or which Bali Resort is considered the most romantic in the world.
And I have tons of ideas.
I'm always jotting stuff down on the subway.
But I'm getting ahead of myself, sir.
- All I really want is a chance - Good-bye! in any position or publication- I can type 100 words a minute! I hate telenovelas.
I wanna watch Fashion TV.
Justin, you can watch Fashion TV later when your aunt Betty is babysitting, okay? Come have some flan.
I don't want flan.
I'll get fat.
Honey, you're a boy.
It doesn't matter if you're fat or not.
Betty, did you order dad's birthday cake? Of course.
Chocolate volcano, same one I got last year.
So how was your interview? Um I think it was really good.
I mean, they were impressed.
You didn't get it.
Well, they said that they had hired everyone they needed.
I don't understand you're sharp, you're prepared.
Someone should have begged you to work for them the day you graduated Queens College.
Betty, have you thought about exploring other options? Hilda, I am not going to sell Herbalux.
Well, I wasn't saying that necessarily.
- Dad.
- This career is Betty's dream.
Okay, but I hear somebody else has some pretty big dreams, too.
What are you talking about? Justin, tell your aunt Betty what her boyfriend was saying the other night.
Walter was on his cell phone talking to someone, and he said, "she's the one.
" He wants to marry you? He does? Well, would you do it? Well, I mean- we haven't talked about that yet, but- Well, I think he's a catch.
Flan? That's him.
Hi, Ignacio, Hilda.
Hi, Betty.
Hey.
Here.
It's a return.
The mute doesn't work, but it sounds awesome.
Thank you.
Uh - Betty, can we talk? - Yes.
Sure.
Oh, um, outside.
Yeah, okay.
Celebrity-studded funeral services were held today for Fey Sommers, the much loved and hated editor in chief of fashion bible "Mode" magazine.
It was the bitch slap heard 'round the world when longtime "Mode" creative director Wilhelmina Slater was passed over for the top spot in favor of Daniel Meade, the nominally experienced son of Meade Publications owner Bradford Meade.
Can the notorious manwhore translate his talent at bedding women into dressing them? How do you like your new office? You scared me.
Um would you just, uh, give me a few minutes? There's some- some things I need to wrap up before I leave.
Interesting decorating motif.
You can get up.
He knows you're there.
I'd like to introduce you my new assistant Charmaine.
I'm sorry to interrupt your dictation, but this is not the way you run a magazine.
What? I'm in love with someone else.
But How? I I mean, I thought we Well, who is it? - Gina Gambarro? - I'm sorry, I - I - No.
You don't have to say anything else.
Good luck, Betty, with everything.
Are you feeling any better? I'm fine.
Hello? Some guy from Meat Publications.
Meade? This is Betty Suarez.
Are you serious? Yeah! I- yeah, of course I-I can start tomorrow.
Um, what magazine is this for? "Mode"? Yeah, I'll be there first thing in the morning.
Okay! Thank you.
Bye! Assistant to the editor in chief! I didn't know you wanted to work for "Mode.
" Well, this wouldn't have been my first choice, but if I do good here, I can go anywhere in the company.
Well, just try and dress fashionably.
Do have anything? Actually, I do.
Oh, my god.
Hi.
You the "before"? Before and after- the photo shoot.
Are you delivering something? Oh, no! No.
I- I work here.
For? For the new editor in chief.
So everyone's in the conference room, and Daniel's about to start his first staff meeting.
- I'm Amanda, by the way.
- Betty.
Okay, F.
Y.
I.
, Betsy, assistants are usually here before their bosses.
Oh, well, I was filling out paperwork in H.
R.
Yeah, just don't let it happen again.
So, uh, where do you come from? Queens.
What job did you have? Oh, actually, apart from internships and part-time jobs to pay for school, this is my first real job.
That's funny.
I was told I didn't have enough experience for the position.
It's over there.
You are an attractive, intelligent, confident businesswoman.
So I gotta confess- I'm probably not gonna remember everyone's names, and I'm really, uh Are you okay? I'm okay.
I'm fine.
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
Anyway, uh, I wish I wasn't- Uh, I wish I wasn't coming in as a new guy under such terrible circumstances.
I realize I have some awful big teeth-shoes to fill, but I can't tell you how excited I am to be working with such an amazingly talented and dedicated staff.
Now I'd like to take the moment to talk a little - about some of the ideas- - So sorry I'm late.
Oh, you began without me.
- Sorry, Wilhelmina, I waited- - Shh! Marc gift.
Thank you.
As I was saying, I really wanna- Well, aren't you gonna open it? Swarovski crystal, to commemorate your first day.
Thank you.
But it is "Daniel," not "Danny.
" What? I'm hellaciously upset, Marc.
Oh, my god, I am so sorry.
Shh! Purge this from memory, please.
As I was saying, it's a particularly exciting time for me because- I think we need to discuss the Fabia Cosmetics supplement.
Fabia Cosmetics? The biggest ad buy of the year, and the only paid layout editorial ever works on.
Well, I'm sure Fabia will love whatever we come up with, right? Daniel, you-you don't understand.
Given the new circumstances, Fabia needs to sign off on the spread before we go to print.
Obviously, we're all here to help you succeed, and we've got plenty of ideas.
So I think we all need to get back to work to make sure that this- your very first issue with your name on the masthead- sparkles.
Okay, everyone, let's not dillydally.
Our editor needs us.
- Killer poncho.
- Thanks! Mr.
Meade? Excuse me, um, Mr.
Meade? Hi.
Um, I just wanted to come and introduce myself personally.
I'm Betty Suarez.
It's a-a pleasure to meet you.
Hi, Betty.
Um, um who do you work for? Well, um, I work for you.
I'm your new assistant.
Did you get the crease under the hairline? Yes, Willie.
No one has done more, worked harder I have bled for this magazine, helped make it into the icon it is today, and that nasty, nepotistic son of a bitch gives my job to his His son.
Who's a self-absorbed, lothario punk who knows nothing about fashion! Tell me the truth- is it because I'm getting old? Absolutely not.
Ugh! Though you could do with a tad bit more between the brows.
So what are you gonna do? Just wait and see.
Well, he's well on his way to falling flat on his face.
I mean, can you believe that assistant? This is "Mode," not "Dog Fancy.
" Done.
What do you want me to do with the, uh leftover? All yours.
Give me a moment, Marc.
How are you recovering, darling? Well, I'm sure you'll feel better once, uh, everything here starts coming to a boil.
Here.
Oh, thank you.
What are you doing? Um, I'm just gathering information on Fabia for Daniel.
Ugh, she is so fabulously douchey.
Who's he in with? Oh, um, Phillippe Michel.
He's a photographer.
Oh.
He's doing the supplement, isn't he? Oh, he's amazing.
He's shot, like, everything.
Yeah, I think- you know, it looks like they're really good friends.
Oh, well, there had been some drama.
Daniel hooked up with Phillippe's ex-girlfriend a couple of years ago.
But they're fine now.
Yeah, we went out for, like, a week.
And they don't call him "the tripod" because he's a photographer, if you catch my drift.
This is crap.
No.
No.
Too down, too out.
Can't go there.
All this is terrible.
That's what I thought.
Phillippe, can I trust you with something? Of course, Daniel.
You know you're like a brother to me.
I don't think anyone wants me here, especially Wilhelmina.
Well, that's no secret.
I think she's trying to take me in the wrong direction with this Fabia layout.
Do you have any ideas? Like, a million, but keep things on the Q.
T.
Most of these people are still loyal to Wilhelmina, and you don't want them mucking things up.
Um, sorry to interrupt, but can I get you lunch? No, no, but you go ahead.
Thanks.
Hi, I'm a really big fan of yours.
That travel layout you did with the tiki torches, wow, that was- that was really gorgeous.
Thank you.
Yeah, it kind of reminded me of this Hiroaki spread I'd seen a couple of years ago.
Hey, listen, I don't know who you are or what you're implying, but, um, I would never use another photographer's idea.
Oh, no, no! No, no, I wasn't- I wasn't saying um I- I should go.
What's the story here? I know the type of women you hire.
My father made me.
You're kidding me? Look, she appears to be good, capable- Fugly! Listen to me, you are the editor in chief of "Mode" magazine.
This business is all image.
Is that what you want representing you? Paparazzi taking your pictures, and she's standing behind? Well, I can't fire her, Phillippe.
Well what if she quits? And how do I get her to do that? You beat her down to a pulp.
Hey, you.
Betty, right? Daniel Meade's new assistant? Yeah.
How did you know that? Oh, everybody knows everything around here.
I'm Christina.
I work in the closet.
The closet? What- Mm-hmm, where all the clothes are kept.
I act as an in-house seamstress, sort of track of things.
Sometimes, they even let me keep some of the crappy stuff from last season, but, you know, I have to improvise 'cause everything is a size zero! - Voila.
- Nice.
Anyway, well, I like it.
Mostly 'cause I'm by myself, - away from all the chic-ees.
- The chic-ees? Yeah, the bitches that work at "Mode.
" Hey, girls! Zelda, Nancy, this is Betty.
- Oh, hi! - Hi! - It's nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
It's the bizarro version of "Sex and the City.
" Stop it, I'm gagging! Funny, you look like any old schlub sitting here, feeding these stupid pigeons.
I doubt if any old schlub would be feeding them artisanal pain de mie they made themselves.
There's nothing to worry about.
She's gone.
Weren't you sitting front row at the funeral? Closed casket.
Double triple-check.
The things Fey Sommers knew about me, about the company I'm on it.
Hi, Betty.
There's a problem with my lunch.
Okay.
I love cole slaw.
I hate cabbage.
But cole slaw is No, no, no.
No, I know.
I just- I- I like the-the tart, tangy dressing.
Can you do something about it Before it gets to room temperature? # She works hard for the money # # So hard for it, honey # # She works hard for the money # # So you better treat her right # Hello? Hi, Daniel.
# So hard for it, honey # # She works hard for the money # # So you better treat her right # # Onetta there in the corner stands # # And she wonders where she is # # And it's strange to her # # Some people seem # # to have everything # Hi.
Betty, where are you? I'm still working.
You forgot, didn't you? Oh, my god, dad's birthday.
Yeah, I was busy.
Look, I gotta go, okay? I'll get home as soon as I can.
Um, yeah, the, uh the red turkey is on the move.
Hold on it's work stuff.
Will ya sleep over another night? Sure.
So, uh, when's this position gonna open? Oh, hopefully, very, very soon.
Oh, okay.
Well, uh, good night boss.
Bye! - Hey.
- Hi.
Do you-do you need anything else? Why don't you stick around for a little bit, make sure everything's okay? Yeah.
Okay, no-no problem.
Perfect timing.
Oh, Walter! You're such a big boy.
He's sleeping.
Hilda, I know Do you realize this is the first time since mom died that we haven't all been together on his birthday? Yes, I realize that, and I am sorry, - but I was working- - It's fine, Betty.
I just hope it's all worth it.
We saved you a piece of cake.
It's in the fridge.
Oh, this photo shoot is gonna be absolutely sick.
Best supplement we've ever done for Fabia by far.
Oh, yeah, I'm-I'm on my way to set as we speak.
Hello? It's a really exciting day, huh? I mean, with the photo shoot.
Hey, Daniel, I know you're really overwhelmed right now, but I was wondering, there was something that I just Daniel, you know, I was wondering if you had a quick moment- Do I look like I have a "quick moment"? No.
So sorry.
Damn it! They forgot one of the outfits.
Go up to the closet and bring it to set.
Please? Feel the fabric on that thing.
It's kind of rough.
That's because it's burlap.
Basically, you're talking $7,000 for a designer potato sack.
I can't believe people actually buy this stuff.
I can't believe they wear it.
And usually just once before they'll chuck it to make room for the next season.
But that's fashion, and I've got to say, I love it.
Oh, you're not too much into it, are you? Um, no.
Not really.
So how's it going? Um Brutal, huh? Well, nothing I do is good enough.
He treats me like dirt.
I mean, just now I was trying to show him this one idea that I had It would've taken him he bit my head off.
What? Betty Nancy was down in human resources, and some people there were talking, and, uh well, apparently, Bradford was the one that wanted to hire you.
Bradford Meade? Wait, he knows who I am? He made Daniel hire you 'cause he didn't want his son to be tempted to sleep with his assistants anymore.
- Oh.
- I'm sorry, Betty.
- No, that-that explains a lot.
- Betty- No, no, really, it's fine.
I should be grateful that I got my break.
It's not so easy for everyone.
This is just how it was supposed to happen for me.
Well, I should be going, so Thank you.
Oh! So, uh, I was just on my lunch break, and I thought I'd stop by.
This is really amazing.
Thank you, Amanda.
And if you need anything Traffic or hangover? Did-did anyone read the contract to her? She needs to be here for the test shots! Hey, what's going on? Izabela, the brazilian model she's late.
This is a crazy, complicated shoot, and I need her dressed and ready right now.
Phillippe, they're test shots.
Let's just use the stand-in.
No, no, she's too specific.
I need someone with her-with her skin tone.
Someone like her.
Funny.
I bet you she quits before she does it.
Whoops, excuse me.
Betty! Oh, I am so glad you're here.
Listen, we have a crisis and we really need your help.
Okay.
Uh, one of our models didn't show up.
We really need someone to stand in for her in wardrobe.
Um, so you want-you want me to do it? Well? Well- this is what you want me to do? Yeah! Well, it looks like she finally quit.
Good.
Smart ass had no business working for you in the first place.
# Please allow me to # # introduce myself # # My name is superstar # # Short for nothing # Where do you want me? Right there is fine.
I see a shadow.
Can you move that light over to the right? Thank you.
Movement, ladies.
Movement.
Sexy.
More, more.
Give me more.
Okay, you're devouring the camera with your eyes.
Give me a little more coquette, Betty.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Betty, wait! This is what you wanted, isn't it, to humiliate me and make me quit? God forbid you had to work with the ugly girl your dad forced you to hire.
Well, congratulations.
Chamomile? Thank you, Justin.
I'm sorry it didn't work out.
It happens.
Mom said she wasn't surprised.
Hilda said that? She said all the stuff you wanna do, owning a magazine, doesn't happen for people like us unless you're J.
Lo or something.
She said she wishes you'd be more realistic, but I think she's full of crap.
- Hold this.
- What what are you doing? I just wanna say that this is really unfair.
I live two doors down! I can see you! What the hell you doing? Um where's Walter? It's over.
Look, Walter- he's sweet and everything- but I told him from the start I wasn't looking for anything serious.
And he said fine, he could still get me 30% off a flat screen.
You used him for his discount? Oh, he offered.
Bitch! You broke my plasma! We're so thrilled to have you here, Fabia.
Now, why don't we let the pictures speak for themselves? Smettila! This is freaking joke, right? Uh, no.
You stupido.
All of you, stupido! Idiots, idiots! What-what just happened?! Well Fabia's probably still a little sensitive about the accident.
Accident? Oh, you didn't know.
About a month ago, she backed her S.
U.
V.
into 12 people outside Marquee.
I was in Saint-Tropez.
I had no idea.
Why-why didn't anyone say anything? Daniel, if I may, you didn't include me in the concept.
And we all thought you knew what you were doing.
Fabia's not just talking about canceling the "Mode" supplement.
She's considering Pulling advertising from every single one of my magazines.
Is it true you worked on this on your own, didn't consult Wilhelmina or anyone else? Look, I can explain.
I had-I had a very strong feeling she was trying to sabotage me.
The only person who sabotaged you was yourself.
Sorry I let you down.
Well, I'm sorry I keep hoping you'll be something you're clearly not.
- My leg is cramping.
- Look, I can fix this.
I'll just present her with a whole new idea.
We just closed book.
It's too late.
Tomorrow morning.
Please.
Give me another chance.
Daniel called again looking for you.
What part of "unavailable" does he not understand? I'll let him know.
He really should've come to me earlier.
It wouldn't have made any difference now, would it? Not really.
To teamwork.
To revenge.
He has a heart condition.
Yes, he-he needs his medication.
But you can't just cover the pills and then randomly decide to stop.
But it's-it's a real person's health, it's not a case number.
Give me the phone.
I'll let 'em have it.
No.
No, I don't wanna hold again.
Not again.
No, just wait- It's fine.
We'll just- we'll get 'em tomorrow.
It's fine.
Thank you, mi amor.
You're so much better at dealing with this bureaucratic stuff than I am.
No, you know I don't mind.
I know.
You're always so good to me.
So strong, determined, optimistic just like your mother was.
Why haven't you returned my calls? I've been busy.
Betty, I need to talk to you.
I made a terrible mistake.
Wait, did you realize this before or after Gina dumped you? What? No, no, I broke up with her.
Betty, it was wrong, and I wanna make this up to you.
I- Betty.
Are you dating someone? Walter, please go! Dating this guy? Look, you need to go.
Please.
You need to go.
But, Betty, I-I What are you doing here? I wanna talk.
It's a nice place.
Yeah, we're just in between interior designers.
- Really? - No.
Oh, right.
It's a joke.
Betty, I am so sorry.
You didn't deserve what I put you through.
I- I listened to all the wrong people about a lot of things, and I have no one to blame but myself.
Well, I appreciate that, Daniel.
But you're going to leave here, and you're going to take your town car back to your soho loft, and I'm still gonna be here- out of work and dealing with problems that you'll never understand.
Try me.
Betty, come on, we've all got problems.
Oh, and what are yours, Daniel, what restaurant you're gonna eat at, which model you're gonna sleep with? Try spending the day on the phone with some crappy H.
M.
O.
, getting them to cover your dad's prescriptions.
Or try lining up a job-any job- 'cause you have to help pay the rent next month.
Look I lost a brother a while back.
He was the good one in our family, and I've never quite measured up.
But I am trying.
Betty, I-I could never compare my problems to yours, but they're mine.
Nothing's ever easy.
I saw the layout you made for Fabia.
You did? I thought it was very smart and beautiful.
Well, thank you.
I want to take your ideas to Fabia, giving you credit, of course.
And I really want you to come back, be my assistant.
I promise you things will be different.
I- Daniel, I-I mean, I- I really have to think about that.
Well you have tonight, otherwise, I'll probably be out of a job as well.
Did you hear that? Every word.
So where the hell is he? He said 10:00 a.
m.
Well, Fabia on behalf of the entire magazine, ci perdoni.
This whole thing has been unacceptable.
Marc.
Now that I have a moment of your time, I'd like to show you some of my ideas.
Sorry we're late.
There was obviously no time for a new photo shoot, so, uh, what we're gonna be showing you is just a rough idea.
Oh! Uh, wait.
No, this is-this is not the right file.
Um, just one sec-one second.
This is it.
Um in order to show the softer side of Fabia Cosmetics, we're going to use the concept of mothers and daughters, focusing on the small, special moments that- that are usually taken for granted, the theme being, "it's not the big events but the little moments" that matter.
I just had a daughter.
I do none of those things but I can understand.
What makes you think this is going to appeal to my customers? Um.
Well, if-if I may, I do have the statistics here.
Um, though one might assume that your demographic is very young, in fact, there's been tremendous brand loyalty since you've launched, which means that the people who were teenagers when they began using your cosmetics, well, now, like you, they are beginning to settle down and have children- um, 58% to be exact.
And you could do this in time? Of course.
Uh, did you want to approve the, uh, uh, models and images beforehand? Nah.
Just make sure it's not too sappy.
Do a picture where they're pulling their hair or biting each other.
So that's nice.
Now I go.
Good work.
- Oh, the idea was actually- - His best one, don't you think? Indeed.
Welcome back, boss.
Marc.
I'm very unhappy.
It's a setback.
But it's just a matter of time.
Once he's out of the picture, the company will be ours for the taking.
Considering the way everything's played out, it seems to me that you should keep an eye on that damn ugly assistant.
What's her name? Betty.
- Betty.
- Betty.
Betty.
Betty! Betty.
Oh, Christina, thank you again, so much.
No, no, no.
Go.
Go.
You should've let me tell him it was your idea.
Don't worry.
I will the next time.
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
So I've confirmed your lunch for tomorrow and your 3:15 with the graphics department is set.
- The feature editor would like- - Betty Tomorrow morning.
It's okay.
Good night.
# Well, her face is a map of the world # # Is a map of the world # # You can see she's a beautiful girl # # She's a beautiful girl # # Suddenly I see # # Suddenly I see # # This is what I wanna be # # Suddenly I see # # Suddenly I see # # Why the hell it # # means so much to me # # Suddenly I see # # This is what I wanna be #