Ultimate Force s01e01 Episode Script

'More like jokes only Richard will laugh at.
Er 2.
' 'Man walks into a pub, asks for a pint of Best.
'While waiting, he notices Vincent Van Gogh at a table.
'He goes up to him and says, "Are you Vincent" "'Are you Vincent Van Gogh?" "'Yes," the man replies.
"Do you want a pint?" 'Man says, "No, thanks, I've got one 'ere.
"' 'Stop! ' 'I don't think the lawyers were laughing.
'Anyway, who'll be laughing now? 'Well, laughing all the way to the championship chair all this week 'has been this lady ' Come on! Jamie.
Jamie.
You all right? My ears are buggered.
I thought so - watermelon.
Nice touch.
Hello, Lexy.
Welcome to Red Team.
Gentlemen, this is my little brother Alex.
Yeah, adopted.
- And this is? - Jamie.
Jamie.
Jamie.
Jamie! Jem Poynton, Ricky Mann and Pete Twamley.
Sorry, son, my fault.
Over-pressure.
Must've overdid the explosives.
Not only that, we overdid the time as well.
And our team leader, cuddly Henno Garvie.
We should've been out in 15 seconds, 18 max.
- All right, who shot the TV? - I did.
- Why? - It was Richard Whiteley.
I felt he posed a risk to life so I used necessary force.
- Fair enough.
- Oi, oi.
Nice job, gentlemen - 23 seconds.
It was shit.
The commands and communications were good enough These are the two off selection, Alex Leonard, Jamie Dow.
Lieutenant Doheny.
Sir.
Dotsy.
Welcome aboard.
Did you find your introduction amusing? - Very jolly, sir.
- Good.
I've got a bit of a bun fight with MOD this afternoon so I'll catch up with you all tomorrow.
Cheerio.
Cheerio.
Never call a rupert "sir".
Ever.
- They get ideas above their station.
- Bad idea.
- Don't do it.
- As you enjoyed your jolly introduction we're gonna do it again.
Only better.
- Any chance of earplugs? - You'll get used to it.
- Pardon? - I said My name is Boss and that is what you will call me.
You will be Pug, you will be Lofty.
Badger, Weasel.
This job is a once-only.
Half a million each.
We will be carrying and will use weapons if we have to.
If anybody objects to that, they should leave now.
Give me your phones.
Nobody will leave or make contact with the outside world in any way.
Do you understand me? Weasel.
Badger.
Lofty.
Pug.
OK, there's black overalls, body armour, vindaloos - that's fireproof underwear - ops waistcoats, gloves, assault boots, holsters, respirators, throat mikes and pressels, belt kit, holdalls.
If anything doesn't fit, just bring it back and we'll sort it.
400 each.
Get some normal civvies - jackets, jeans, bland as you like.
They're for undercover, observations and walk-by on ops.
Just sign for that.
Weapons - Heckler & Koch MP5 with six mags.
SIG-Sauer pistol, four mags.
Serial numbers This is home.
Air troop, mobility, mountain and us.
I never realised our kit was the cutting edge of fashion.
- You get the boys' sarnies? - They were theirs? I found them in my pocket and couldn't think why they were there.
- So you ate them? - Yeah.
What are we gonna do today? Pete? - I was gonna do my garden.
- There's the new MGs on the skid pan.
There's a heli available, we could do a bit of freefall or have a shooting competition, let the new guys zero their weapons in.
Sounds like Club Med.
I'm easy.
Killing house.
See what it's like from the other side of the doors.
Good idea.
- Whoa, we've been in there all morning.
- And Blue Troop have it booked.
Not until four.
- Perfect.
- Let's blow all the doors off.
Blue Troop'll love that.
They will, they'll love it.
- Caroline.
- Henno.
- Buongiorno, Principessa.
- Piss off, Jem.
- We need the killing house.
- Johnny Bell's got it.
I know, at 4.
We'll vacate by then.
Please? OK.
No explosive entry.
That's what she says to all the boys.
Leave them at least half the windows and the doors.
Of course.
Of course.
Shoulders still.
- Do you know who he is - Who's that? - The boss.
I don't know who anyone is.
Wouldn't want to.
- - Yeah.
I mean, of course.
Spot-on.
But it is a bit odd an' all, innit? I reckon he's sound.
If that's what he wants.
Yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
So how's your gun, er Pug? Lovely, thank you Badger.
And you'll use it on someone? If I have to.
So will you.
This isn't a game.
Live firing, life and death.
Have either of you killed before? Well, use these exercises, otherwise you'll freeze.
Basic job, two head shots.
They love it, they do, they love it.
If an X-ray's holding a weapon and about to use it - tap-tap, through the mouth.
Takes out the brain, stops the message getting to the trigger finger.
One of ours goes down - "Man down, room 1A".
That's it, move on.
You linger, your two mates in the corridor get it.
One dead becomes three.
Speed, aggression, surprise.
Let's do it.
Gotcha! Man down, corridor two! You don't stop! You never stop! Now, go.
Go! You don't stop for a man down! Which is why we'll have to do it again and again and again.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
We're the fan it's about to hit.
Who blew all the doors and windows in? - Told you he'd love it.
- We've got this place booked for 4.
We'll be out in five.
And, erm that window's all right.
Would you kill someone? - Who? - No, I mean on this job, like.
For half a million quid? I'd kill someone for a grand.
Guess that's why the boss picked you.
Did he know you before this, like? No.
I reckon Lofty's the only one he knows.
So how did he, y'know, like, find us? I mean, four people who'd agree to do whatever he tells 'em, it's weird.
It's like a setup.
What if he's not really You talk too much.
You're signed up now.
You do what I tell you or you get one in the back of the head.
Get it? Go to sleep.
Let's do it.
- - Whoooo-hooo! What is it? Er, Jamie.
Beth, your sister.
He knows that.
Jamie, I'm sorry.
I just knew if Look, Mum's bad.
No, no, she's all right.
Well She's had a stroke.
Erm, she's at home.
But they just don't know what the, er Well, if she's gonna make it or not.
I'm sorry.
I know you didn't want I would've rang but if I had you wouldn't have come home and I wanted you to.
In case she goes.
You can have a couple of days' leave.
- What? - His mother's ill.
Excuse me.
Ill or dead? Dead is a couple of days, ill is a phone call.
- We're on 30-minute standby.
- Blue Troop will step up.
It's up to you.
I'll go see her.
Here's a phone and pager.
Thank you, sir.
See, Mrs Bluntley, you don't have to pay this, it's a receipt.
It's confirmation that you've paid it already.
But I don't remember paying it.
That's because it's a direct debit.
Oh.
What would one of them be? I'm so sorry to push in.
I've an appointment with Mr Brown, the manager, at a quarter to.
- Mr Goldsmith.
- You should've said.
Mr Brown.
So you see, dear, it's been paid.
Then why are they sending me a bill? Are they trying it on? It's not a bill.
It's confirmation of payment.
See here? - Mr Goldsmith.
- I'm sorry I'm late.
That's all right.
Be quiet and you'll be fine.
I have two men with them.
We'll be in and out in ten minutes.
The bank will get the insurance and your family will live.
Do we understand each other? Yes.
Perfectly.
There's a 24-hour number there if you need to phone any time.
- Thank you.
Isolate the security.
Soft circuit first.
It's all right, Maria.
And now the master.
Mary, Melanie, please cooperate.
I'm very sorry about this.
Please bear with us and do as you're told.
No hysterics and no heroics.
Hush now, madam.
Please stay calm.
They have Jenny and the boys.
- We'll be good.
- Is this a robbery? Yeah.
Amazing, isn't it? Don, phones are on the blink again.
Shit.
OK, just stay calm, everybody.
I want no heroics.
Everyone is to cooperate.
In there! Get over there! You! Mobile phone on the table! Out! Out! - Come on, out! - Phones on the table! - Come on, out! - Hush now.
It'll all be over in a second and everything will be fine.
Won't it, young man? It's not you they're interested in.
- It's the new Euros, you see.
- OK.
They sort them out upstairs for all our branches.
And what with the holidays Sorry.
Just trying to keep things calm.
We do courses.
We're trained to do whatever you say.
So everything'll be fine.
Tosser! Step out of the car for a moment, please, sir.
Please.
Look, Officer Officer, I Oh, bollocks.
Keep still! - Just keep still! - All right.
Don't move! OK, into the corner.
Onto the floor, hands up where I can see them.
Right, gentlemen.
That's right, group together.
What the bloody So sorry, Boss, he wouldn't shut up.
All right, let's just be sensible about this.
You be quiet or I'll kill you.
All right, mate, calm down! - Do as you're told and you'll be all right.
- I hope we all will.
You stupid, stupid idiot.
We could just leg it.
Like the van will shake off a V8 fuel-injected patrol car every time.
Get them upstairs.
Come on! Go! I'm not going in if he's there.
Jamie! I'm I'm tall now! Jamie! I'm tall now! You are, mate.
Hey, Mum's upstairs, eh? Come on, Pete.
Mum? Mum, it's Beth.
I brought Jamie here to see ya.
Jamie we're both tall now.
And Jem's learning Portuguese and wants a week away.
So do I.
I've got to do some training in Samoa.
If you fancy a holiday I'm sure I could swing it.
Take your wife.
How much does he need? Couple of grand? I think there's over 50 in the kitty - from when the Saudis were here.
22 Reg.
Right.
Anyone shooting? How many X-rays? CRW troop could be there in less than an hour.
I'll speak to the CO.
- We'll despatch immediately.
Yes.
I'll give him your regards.
- Caroline says hello.
- I want it, Aidan.
- Hostage situation, high street bank.
- Then I definitely want it.
You'll be sat on your arses for three days watching plod piss about.
You sure? - Come in, Johnny.
Sorry - early bird.
We've been in the killing house for ten days.
- You pissed us about! - Gentlemen.
He's got two new bods and an inexperienced rupert.
- We need the practice.
- We're stood by.
So are we.
- Right, boys, come on.
- Johnny Bell, you're too slow, mate! OK, Red Team have it.
Your team is backup, OK? Jamie.
She's dying.
Talk to her.
If she dies and you haven't Unfinished business, it'll torment you.
The guilt.
Just talk to her, Jamie.
Tell her you love her.
- But I don't.
- Yes, you do.
Just say hello.
You didn't come down here with me just to stare out the window.
It's Jamie.
- Mum Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, playing fields, Kingsnorth Road.
Yeah.
- I have to go.
- Off the stairs, you're a fire risk.
That's him, then.
- Jamie's here.
- Don't argue with me, you little shit.
Sir - Get out of my house.
- Dad! You think you're big enough yet? Reckon you can take me yet? Let me by.
Oh! The great grease monkey reckons he can have me.
Still pumping up tyres for the paras? No, he's in the SAS.
Is he bollocks! - As a mechanic, maybe.
- No! As a trooper! Is it? Biggest regiment in the world, that.
Only 200 in it but thousands who've said they are.
Every sad little arsehole says he's in.
You couldn't polish their bollocking boots, ya deaf-mute scumbag scrote, ya! Oi! Get back there! How many people are in there? Is it to do with the bank? What about the gas mains? Your Majesty, after you've opened the fête we'd like you to judge the ugly baby competition.
- No contest! - Henno wins that! And this is Will Jackson, our negotiator.
Top-notch.
He spoke to their leader an hour ago.
I'm comfortable this'll end quietly and you'll have had a wasted journey.
Good.
But you will accommodate us in case we should be needed.
- Of course.
Stand easy.
Put it on the speakers.
Hello, Boss, this is Will Jackson.
Hello, William.
Have you passed on my terms? Yes.
I've also arranged for blankets, pillows, food.
'Don't mess me about, you prick! 'I don't need pillows! 'I don't intend to be here long enough to use pillows! ' I want hard information about a helicopter.
And don't tell me that you can't get one because the place is buzzing with them.
Boss, I have spoken to the relevant authorities.
- The Carry on.
- We'll sort a plan of action.
- That won't be necessary.
I'm sure.
Just in case things get nasty.
I remain confident that SO19 can handle this.
Absolutely.
We're here merely in case we're needed.
You're in control.
SO19 are fine, sir, if they come out but nobody's actually thinking of giving them a helicopter? - I wouldn't say so.
- Well, there you are.
If they're stuck where they are and they start firing - Well, it's a bank, sir.
- Yes? Bars on the windows, plate glass, steel doors, reinforced walls, floors and ceilings.
SO19 do not do explosive entry.
Maybe, but don't forget - one of the hostages is a police officer, so I'm not desperate to have you lot going in there guns blazing.
Of course, sir.
This is your bag.
Just here if needed.
Pete, you find the architect and security company.
Ricky, get hold of Box, we'll need him for comms.
Jem, give Caroline a hand.
Excuse me.
Horrible things.
Horrible, horrible things.
Any chance of a cup of tea? I don't think so.
Ask your boss if he'd like some.
Everyone likes tea.
Bird's offered to make us tea.
- No sugar.
- Two sugars.
- And you, love? - Please.
One.
- Boss here.
- Hello, Boss.
Thanks for your patience.
We are getting somewhere.
Authority for a helicopter has to come from the top, the very top.
'The Cabinet are meeting as soon as they can.
'We've recommended you be given what you ask for 'so they'll just rubber-stamp it.
'We can't get a flight until it's light, 'so we're setting up to get you all out of there at eight tomorrow morning.
' Boss? All right.
You mess me about people die.
Oh, thanks.
You know, I keep thinking I know you.
Well, you don't.
We could just hand ourselves in.
It might be the lesser of the two.
Be quiet.
Red One Echo in position.
I have an X-ray with moustache in my sights.
Window one-two.
Window one-one blank.
- 'Have that.
' - One-three, one-four.
- Have that.
- 'One-five blank.
' - Have that.
- 'One-six and one-seven blank.
' Have that.
Floor two? Windows 84 interior, 96 exterior.
Bars on windows, two-inch rolled steel bedded in concrete.
- Ricky and Alex, sort out thermic lances.
- Yeah, baby.
- Windows triple-20mm laminate? - 20mm laminate.
That means we need three strips of det cord and plastic in each corner.
Can't go into occupied rooms in case of aural blast.
- What about the roof? - Lined with steel plate.
I wanna put ears on the roof.
Can I get some company? - Box 500.
- One will do.
- MI5.
- Jamie, put Box on the roof.
Which roof? The bank.
Go on, Pete.
Bang.
Bang, bang, bang.
Just a pigeon, I'd say.
'Any visitors and we start shooting, that simple.
' - How are you for food? - 'We can get by till eight.
'You understand me - 'the bus doesn't come to the doors at 8am on the dot, 'the first one gets it.
' That's CCTV from the shop next door.
- We've got it on live link too.
- Two of our X-rays? Plus two more, which is four, and Jem's fixed us one with a moustache, which is five.
Nine employees, plus customers, plus one cop.
So that's ten Yankees minimum.
Any IDs on the X-rays? I wired some stills to N-Sys, nothing yet.
What about weapons? Two pistols, one pump action confirmed.
- You all right? - Yeah.
Red Troop are stood to so we're thinning till 6am.
CO's commandeered a hotel down the way.
Right.
Lay the table, bro.
Ooh, very nice.
Timing! - All right? - Ricky's knocking up some grub.
I'll go and siphon the python.
Right.
Something smells good.
Take a seat, gentlemen.
Oh, I love sprouts.
Very good fart ammo.
Oi! Sam, Alex, wine cellar's through there.
You aristocrats will know what to choose.
- What are we eating? - A cow.
- Red.
- Cue some red.
Mr Dow, follow me, monsieur.
This is your seat, head of the table.
Thank you.
How come you and Sam aren't ruperts, being aristocratic and that? Inverted snobbery.
Mamma mia, so much food! - Quite comfortable, ladies? - Food's good but the service is shite.
There's no tarragon or I'd have made a béarnaise.
Would monsieur care to taste the wine? Should really have had time to breathe but needs must.
Jesus.
Wait until you have tasted this.
Excellent.
Yeah.
- I know.
- What's the hold-up, Ricky Mann? - Tout de suite, mon ami.
Il est bon, ce vin.
Le boeuf et le St-Estèphe vont très bien ensemble.
- Santé! - Cheers! - Up your arse! - Slàinte! To Ricky Mann.
To Ricky Mann! Fantastic.
Pass me that fillet.
Pass me the pepper.
How old are you? Mind your own business.
I have a boy.
He's 20.
Still living at home.
Can't get him out of the bed.
I almost wish he had the enterprise to do something like this.
Anything would be better than the bed.
Neighbours, Hollyoaks, Friends, back to bed.
Wonder who cooked my kids' tea.
My husband can't boil an egg.
- I can make Pot Noodle.
- Oh! He couldn't even do that.
I like Pot Noodle.
I can do them.
Shut up in there! Next one I have to tell gets a slapping.
What? You stupid prick.
If you'd kept your bottle they'd have never The cops were here a minute after cookie boy tapped the window.
No way was it me, sunshine, y'know? Boss.
- You call me Boss.
- All right.
Boss! But don't, y'know, like, lay this shit on my doorstep - it is not mine, y'know? Y'know? Y'know? Like, y'know? Y'know? What do you make of that? Are you awake? No, fast asleep.
How about you? Which is it for you fear of killing or being killed? Neither.
Wondering what it'll be like.
Just afraid of cocking things up.
Shouldn't have joined, then, should you? I needed to see if I was up to it.
Now you know.
Tomorrow I'll know.
This is nothing.
Danny Wiseman was identified an hour ago.
Which left us two, including the boss.
The police couldn't find anything, so we went lateral, a common link found.
All their files have been accessed on the N-Sys computers by the same man over the last six months - him.
Detective Inspector Brian Duggan.
He's plod? He was - flying squad.
Dishonourable discharge, unlawful killing.
'Shot some local dealer, claimed it was self-defence 'but the man was unarmed and nobody heard a warning.
'Escaped a prison sentence but got kicked out without a pension.
'Bitter man.
'He knew it was an easy hit 'because he'd advised on security there nine months ago.
' Not a lot to be gained by giving himself up.
Nor do the other four.
They'll all go down for a long stretch with their previous.
This bloke shuffled.
You really expected him to go like that and the whole pack shuffled in front of your eyes.
It was magic.
It could've been a trick but I think it was proper magic.
Do you believe in proper magic, like, in proper card tricks? Pick up five, love.
Oh, I can't believe you did that.
How've you cancelled that? Put it on speakers.
Good morning, Boss.
This is Will Jackson.
There's no sign of transport outside.
- 'Yeah, we're still waiting.
' - I said, there's no sign of transport.
I reckon those who want to should just walk.
'We're waiting for the Home Secretary.
These things take time.
' - You don't have time.
- He won't let anyone know who he is.
- I said eight, it's eight now.
- I've seen him before.
Oh, my God! The next one is at nine.
He shot him! He shot him! He shot him! - Was it a bluff? - There was a shot, the sound of someone falling.
I think he did it.
Call him back.
They're moving people around.
Right.
Switched off.
Commander, a word.
You may have to consider handing this one over once people are killed.
There's no confirmation.
But if.
Standing orders are quite plain.
Yes, I say this is a police matter until I hand it over or the Home Secretary tells me to.
If it does happen, it will be the latter.
I don't want to send your bloodhounds in to shoot the place up.
- It's a little more sophisticated than that.
- Not much.
- And I've a man in there.
- Or did have.
Heads up.
We may have a body.
Can you bring that up more? There are Yankees being held in one beta, two golf and three delta.
- Numbers.
- No numbers.
We've got 10-plus but we can't be sure where.
Are they still moving? No.
We had movement to get to those three rooms but now it's all quiet.
Cuts out one-one and two-one, unless you want dead Yankees.
We could rope down to the third floor but thermic lancing No, forget it.
They'll be swinging in the wind.
You have friends in high places.
It's all yours.
Lads.
They want you to make hard arrests.
That means give them a chance to surrender - prisoners, not corpses.
- Of course.
OK, gentlemen, we will put the deliberate into action.
With all due respect, sir, sit down and listen.
Johnny'll drive the bus in as a decoy.
Five seconds later, Red Troop will follow in the Land Rover.
Ricky, Pete and Alex will do one-six, Jamie and Sam do two-four from the roof of the vehicle.
Blue Troop will let rip a Harvey Wallbanger at the rear as a diversion.
At the same time, Jem and I will blow the skylight at three-seven and take the top floor.
Dotsy, you'll be Control.
We go in 10.
Questions? Gents, hard arrests.
Let's be robust.
Do we understand each other? - 0850.
- 0850.
- Still keen? - Hell yes.
- No relief if we got stood down? Good luck, brother.
Keep cool.
Red One Alpha, I have Control.
Red One Bravo, are you in position? Red One Bravo in position.
Red One Echo in position.
Into forward mounting positions.
Blue One in position.
- Red One Delta in position.
- Red One Golf in position.
Red One Foxtrot in position.
- Red One Hotel in position.
- Red One Charlie in position.
'Blue One Charlie, Delta and Golf in position.
' All in position.
Bus first.
And bus move.
If you're gonna take someone, take me! - Get your hands off her! - Boss.
Boss! There's a bus.
'And stand by.
'Stand by.
' - Go.
Jesus, what was that? Get down! Get down! Get down and stay down! - 'X-ray down in One Echo.
' Have that.
X-ray down in One Echo.
- 'Floor one secure.
' - 'Have that.
Floor one secure.
' Man down in Two Echo.
Man down in Two Echo.
Have that.
Man down in Two Echo.
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Stay down and you'll be all right.
- 'All Yankees floor one.
' - 'Men needed floor two.
' - Got that.
- 'Stair one Alpha secure.
' 'Have that.
Floor one and stairs one secure.
' - 'X-ray down on stairs one Charlie.
' - 'Have that.
' Red One Hotel top stairs two Alpha.
'Red One Beta, I am at door three Delta, top of stairs two India.
'Get to door two-three Delta by way of back corridor three Echo.
' - 'Got that.
' 'We have X-ray holding two Yankees by window L3.
- 'No shot from here.
' 'You will have clear line of fire your door.
' Mouth shot, double tap.
Let's go.
'Let's go! ' - You're both gonna die! - Oh, God.
'Tap-tap.
' X-ray down, three Delta! Floor three secure.
- Still two X-rays active.
- Hold all Yankees in the building.
Repeat, two X-rays still active.
I want them all plastic-cuffed before they're moved! Get down and get your backs against the wall.
OK.
The hostage, the Yankee who was executed is now confirmed as an X-ray.
You have four X-rays down but one outstanding.
One X-ray outstanding.
Get your heads up! Head up! Up! No! No, he's only a child.
- He won't hurt anyone for God's sakes! Oh Oh, my God! Oh, no! Oh, God Almighty, they've killed him.
Oh, Jesus! Jesus, no! Oh, please, God, no, get me out of here! Oh, no! Oh, God! X-ray down one Foxtrot.
- Stronghold secure.
- 'Got that.
' OK, move all Yankees out.
G Team, sweep for booby traps.
'All shooters remain by their victims, please.
'Handing back to plod in five minutes.
Well done, everyone.
' Less of the social.
You are soldier A.
And the one on the stairs is mine too.
Greedy.
We'll have a word in a moment.
Super.
This is the other one for soldier A.
More reasonable force.
- Yours? - Sir.
Soldier B.
Clear this one first.
- You, sir? - One upstairs, sir.
He went for his weapon, I thought it constituted a threat and I duly fired.
You made a right mess of this one.
Top-notch, soldier C.
Inch perfect.
Thank you, sir.
Red One Hotel, any news on Red One Foxtrot? 'Negative.
' Right, soldier C, yeah? Eugh.
Tell me about it.
Woman in each arm, pistol in his right hand held to one of the women's heads.
Put two through his mouth, he dropped, job done.
Thank you.
- Any news on Sam? - Not heard anything.
Sorry.
You all right? Yeah.
Things will never be the same again It's just the beginning, it's not the end - Things will never be the same - Stop.
- Singing? - The car, I need to be sick.
It's normal.
Delayed shock, adrenaline.
Pete Twamley still gets it, so does Jembo.
Henno doesn't and nor do I but then we're subnormal.
Couple of pints and a curry will sort you out! - Oh, nice one, Ricky.
- Just trying to be helpful.
I didn't say liver and onions or yesterday's greasy bacon with sheep brains.
Sorry, Alex.
Chance you take.
He knew the risks.
Yeah, I know.
I'm sorry I didn't stop and help him.
You weren't meant to.
Right, er I, erm I'm gonna tidy up here.
My parents are coming tomorrow.
- Do you want a hand? - No.
Get yourself cleaned up, we're going for a quiet celebration.
- No, I'll give it a miss.
- What? Gonna go home.
Home? Where's home? Listen, it's just too much for me head, yeah? Too much to think about to go and have a party.
Are you going funny on me? I told you - the first one's a bit off, you'll get used to it.
- What if I don't want to? - That's bollocks.
The lads'll take a dim view if you don't show for the warm-down.
- Alex is going.
- Maybe he shouldn't.
You were spot-on today and we all know it.
And I know what it took for you to call Sam in and then push on.
You all right? Are you all right? - What is it? - I'm OK.
I'm fine.
Really.
Thanks.
Oh! Why are you doing that? - What? You his girlfriend? - Want you to leave him alone.
Ooh! - Fighting queen.
- Piss off.
Argh! I'll break his neck.
You in the SAS? That'll be a yes, then.
Only people who aren't say they are.
"I'm not a liar.
" Philosophical construct.
It's comforting to know we get something for our tax money.
Look, I don't think I need a hospital.
Sure? These friends of yours? Shit.
Double time, double time! Come on, son! Who's your friend, Jamie? - Come on! - Don't know his name.
My name's Stuart and I'm very honoured to meet you all.
See, human beings have to be taught to appreciate beauty - music, art, sculpture.
- Bollocks.
- Listen to Socrates.
Good manners.
It all has to be taught.
Only things that come natural are eating, fighting and shagging.
Good day at the office? - G and T? - Yep.
Pint? Yeah.
- Jamie? - Bud.
Jamie - Mrs Twamley.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Your first today, was it? Does it show? Yes.
His brother died today.
I know.
Sam.
Lovely lad.
Takes a bit of getting used to.
Pete's been in the regiment 14 years.
- Is that all right with you? - Well I'd sooner he was a farmer, to be honest but he's not, so there you go.
Och, I'm proud of him.
So are the kids.
He's better than most.
On the having-to-live-with-him front, I mean.
Gentlemen, ladies, a moment.
To Sam.
Sam.
All right, that's enough, we're not Americans.
What's up with you? Nothing.
- The boy you shot.
- The one with his hand on a pistol? - You didn't know that.
- Yes, I did.
I could see it in his eyes.
- Bollocks.
- Instinct.
But even if you didn't know, even if he had a banana down his trousers, you don't wait to find out because that's when innocent people get killed.
Those hostages didn't ask to be there, he did, he's dead.
The politicians sleep easy because we protect them from some very nasty people.
We don't get to be the best because we're nice and well-mannered.
We're the best because we train hard and fight easy.
- Make you feel better? - Didn't feel bad in the first place.
Just asked why.
Yeah.
Yeah, you really want to learn, don't you? And even though you don't like me, you know I'm the one to teach you.
Your shoelace is untied, mate.
- All right? You an only child? No.
I thought maybe you were.
You'll tell me my star sign next.
- I hate all that crap.
- Yeah, me too.
Seriously, you're holding up all right? Don't think Henno would say so.
Sod Henno.
Don't think Alex is either.
- He should be at home, with his parents.
- Yeah.
Probably should.
You two look very cosy.
- Listen, I'm knackered.
I'm heading back.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
He's the best I've seen in a long time.
What are you getting at? Oh, I just wouldn't like to see his head getting mixed up because, erm, somebody decided to explore his sensitive side.
Sod off, Henno.
Don't wanna see you messing it up for him.
- How do you know what he needs? - I know what I know.
Oi, Jem! Jem!