Undead Murder Farce (2023) s01e01 Episode Script

1
A.D.
Meiji Year 30
This is a different Meiji era
than we know
Under the flag of Westernization,
there was a large-scale, organized extermination effort
aimed at the supernatural, ayakashi, and trickster yokai
Hell yeah, Oni Slayer!
Damn it He won again.
They called this
the Great Purge
What you have just witnessed, ladies and
gentlemen, is our troupe's main attraction!
A martial arts show from
our fearsome Oni Slayer!
How truly exciting! He's so fearsome,
he doesn't even need a metal club!
Let's give a huge round of applause!
Great job out there.
Thank you very much, sir.
What the hell was that thing anyway?
A shokera.
There were some stragglers left
in Chichibu after the Great Purge,
so I got 'em real cheap.
With the authorities watching,
I'm surprised you can keep
getting those things.
Well, I've got my ways.
Hell, our performers may not be the best
But we've got more monsters
than anyone else in Tokyo.
Given what I've heard about
the world beyond the sea,
we might have the most
entertaining show in the world.
Sorry I'm not living
up to your expectations.
The hell are you talking about?
You're no performer.
You're one of the monsters.
The hell do you think
you're doin', you freak?!
Get your lazy ass up and onto that stage!
He wants to meet with Lord Enma in Hell
and try to bribe his way to Paradise.
Will it work? Probably not.
Oppekepe, oppekepeppo, peppopo.
This story takes place
under these social conditions
It is what one might call
a farce
Oni Slayer
Episode One
All right, here's the goods for today.
Outta my way!
Hey, I was first!
Hey! I'll pay an extra sen!
Gimme that potato!
You bastard! I'm starving way more than you!
He's gonna eat us!
Here ya go.
Got some from the navy.
You ain't gonna find it
this cheap anywhere else.
You're in luck, pal.
It might not be any of my business,
but if you've got money to drink,
maybe you should go to the doctor.
And why's that?
Venereal disease, right?
Damn it! I overslept!
That thing's an ayakashi!
Let's kill it already!
This damn thing's fightin' back!
Just kill it already!
Hey, you!
You're an Oni Slayer, ain't ya?
Get rid of this monster for us!
I hate to break it to you,
but that's just a cat.
It ain't no monster or the like.
You liar!
I've never seen a cat like that before!
I'm terribly sorry, but an Oni Slayer
like me can't kill a cat.
Oni Slayer, my ass. You're just some phony.
Come on. Don't waste your
time with the likes of him.
Talk about a twist of fate
They look great on the outside,
but they lack political thought.
They don't see the truths of the universe.
Sow the seeds of freedom in their hearts.
Can I help you?
I can't say that I enjoy
being followed around.
So what's the deal with the birdcage?
Apparently, it's quite important.
Oho
Aw This beer wasn't cheap, ya know?
Behold these two sets of scarlet lips!
Who is going to swallow whom?
That's quite enough.
Oni Slayer, please forgive this rudeness.
This only happened because you
suddenly tried to touch the birdcage.
Be more cautious in the future.
Could you settle on either
apologizing or bossing me around?
Otherwise—
You're only able to kill when
you're onstage, are you not?
Well, it appears that you
know a thing or two about me.
So, who are you?
I'm rather fond of you.
Well played, Oni Slayer. You were
able to keep up with Shizuku.
Which means that this trip I made to
Tokyo based on rumors was worth it.
That's quite a unique act
you've got goin' there,
but you should really talk
to our troupe leader, not me.
It appears as though you don't
have much longer to live.
What do you mean by that?
Even if you continue winning,
you'll die before long.
What you're doing is not a performance.
At least, it's neither an act nor
an illusion, is it, Oni Slayer?
Or should I say Oni Hybrid—
half oni and half human.
I have a rather keen eye for these matters,
so I can tell just by looking at you.
The blood of an oni runs through your veins.
The creature that can kill any
monster known to man, the oni.
But I must say, you're a rather reckless mix.
It must be difficult for you to maintain
your sanity given how shoddily you're made.
Even more so since you're using your
powers at the theater every day.
You'll be consumed by the
oni and die very soon.
No, really. Who are you?
Exactly how much do you know?
Depending on your answer, we might have
to resume our little dance from earlier.
Now, calm yourself.
I'm actually here to strike a deal with you.
A deal?
Fear not. I'll make it worth your while.
It's a lovely deal for the both of us.
I have the means to extend your life.
If you promise to grant my wish,
then I shall thank you by
telling you how it can be done.
I want you to kill me.
My name is Aya Rindo.
This is Shizuku Hasei. She is my maid.
I thought you were just using
some kinda fancy ventriloquism.
You sure don't say much, do you?
I'm sure you'll eventually hear her voice.
What are you, the Immortal or something?
Indeed.
Uh?!
You mean the one and only
creature of its kind in the world?
Indeed.
I just thought that was made-up nonsense.
It's not nonsense. It's the truth.
Also, I am a person. Not a creature.
I figured the Immortal would be some
frail geezer, like a hermit.
My immortality means I don't even grow old.
For 947 years, I've been
14 years and 3 months old.
So 900 years and some decades ago
That'd be the Heian period.
You are correct.
So why do you only have a head?
About six months ago,
some fool took the rest of my body.
I'd heard that the Immortal could grow
back its whole body if it lost it.
So why can't you restore yourself now?
The Immortal is helpless
against just one thing
Ah, you mean an oni.
Well, aren't you knowledgeable?
Prior to becoming a performer,
my work involved something like that.
It's true that a wound inflicted
by an oni doesn't heal quickly,
and if you were cut by an oni,
you'd typically die.
So how
The answer is the darkest place
under the candlestick, Oni Slayer.
Ah, I see.
Oni can nullify a
monster's regenerative abilities.
But if it's an incomplete creature that
is mixed with some other living thing,
its powers will also be halved.
As a result, you get stuck
with a talking severed head.
So the one who attacked
you is also an Oni Hybrid.
That is the only explanation.
However, the would-be murderer
had their face concealed,
and all I saw was their boss
who was ordering them around.
He was an elderly man who used
a cane, had a hoarse voice,
and was not from this country.
He was a foreigner.
A cane a foreigner
Shizuku was gravely injured,
and I was left in this state.
Honestly, I'm at my wits' end. Even if
I wanted to try to get my body back,
they've gone off yonder, and I can't
do much as just a severed head.
Although
Though you may be another Oni Hybrid,
you don't seem to be exactly
half human and half oni.
Your oni side is far more pronounced,
which means you're even
stronger against monsters.
Therefore, based on my observations
You can also kill the Immortal.
We're done for the day!
Hey, you two
Would one of ya be willin'
to become a severed head?
Why don't we go somewhere else?
What?! No way!
If they find you here, they'll definitely
make you part of the show.
By the way, Oni Slayer.
You mind dropping the bombastic nickname?
It's a bit embarrassing.
Then what is your name?
My name's Tsugaru Shinuchi.
Shinuchi? "Headliner"?
You look more like an opening act.
Very well. In that case, Tsugaru
Yes, ma'am?
It appears as though you want to die,
but you also want to live.
Why is that?
That's a rather difficult question.
Could you be a bit more specific?
The more you use your powers,
the more the oni consumes you,
decreasing your hold on your sanity,
and shortening your lifespan.
The fact that you nevertheless continue
to perform with that troupe
indicates that you are rushing
to your demise.
In other words, you want to die.
Yet you resisted.
Shizuku would've been very
capable of taking your life.
And yet, you fought back.
Why do you want to live? Why?
As you said, if I stay with
the troupe long enough,
I'll eventually get consumed by
the oni, go berserk,
get shot by some military
police officer and die.
And that's perfectly fine.
Because that's exactly what I was hoping for.
If I'm gonna get consumed by the
oni from using too much of my power,
it's most likely gonna happen while I'm
all worked up fighting some monster.
Which means I'm gonna be surrounded by
bloodthirsty lowlife, lowbrow customers.
The raconteur and troupe leader
who're making a quick buck off of 'em, too.
Which would mean
that lot would be the first ones I'd attack
after being consumed by the oni.
They'll flee as they're thrown
into the throes of chaos,
chain-link fences and steel doors be damned!
Just how many will I kill before the police
reach this little theater
on the outskirts of town?
They thought they were safe
as they watched from on high
as a bunch of monsters
tried to kill each other
Ah, the fools!
They'll get a taste of the same kind of hell
that takes place upon that stage.
When I realized I was gonna
die soon, I started thinking
"If I'm gonna die, I may
as well have fun doing it.
But what would be the most
entertaining way to die?"
This would rid the world of some of its
garbage and be an excellent act to watch.
That's why I had the
troupe leader take me in.
I've been trying to get by the best
I can without getting consumed
until we can get more of an audience in.
But you said you'd expand my lifespan,
so I guess I'm done with that plan.
That's how I truly feel.
What a strange fellow.
Is your life also just a
part of a joke for you?
My performance involves killing
monsters in an entertaining way.
So it makes sense that I take myself
out in a similar way, doesn't it?
I mean, I'm one of those monsters, too.
Oni Slayer
I guess it doesn't matter that you're
part oni. You were born depraved.
You flatter me.
I implore you again. Will you kill me?
It's probably not good to rush to your death.
How is this rushing?
If anything, I'm far past due.
What's the fun in living to this age
when I've been reduced to a severed head?
You're the only one I can ask to do this.
You think rather highly of me.
But I must decline.
If you don't kill me,
you'll also die in the near future.
You'll be extending my lifespan
But I will not kill you.
If that was supposed to
be a joke, then just stop.
Since I don't have the rest of my body,
I can't physically react to
how bad that joke was.
Earlier you said, "Even if I wanted
to try to get my body back,"
but that must also mean that if you
were able to get your body back,
you'd have a plan to return
to normal, doesn't it?
I see. I guess you're not a total idiot.
But the one who has my body is too far away.
So you do know where they are.
Where might that be?
Europe, I believe.
If you have a chance to return to normal,
it'd be a shame to die now, wouldn't it?
Even if you might fail
Why not try goin' after it?
Right? You don't want your
mistress to die, do you?
I follow the orders I am given.
If Lady Aya insists on dying,
I will find a way for her to die.
My feelings matter not.
Then you're nothing more than a puppet.
To be a puppet is my family's way.
Way boring, you mean.
How suspicious.
How does encouraging me
to do this benefit you?
Oh, see, I'd like to kill
two birds with one stone.
It appears as though the fool
that ran off with your body
is the same one who took away my humanity.
Did his cane happen to have
the letter "M" engraved in it?
Yes.
His cane did indeed have the
letter "M" engraved in it.
He's the one who captured me.
There's no doubt about it.
And since you've lived for centuries,
I'm sure your intellect's a cut above.
Well, I am a severed head.
You have the brains to find the enemy.
I have body to carry you to him.
What do you think? We have the same goal.
Why don't we go to Europe together?
Shizuku, let me out.
As you wish, Lady Aya.
There's no fun in living life as just
a severed head? Don't be absurd!
There's plenty of fun to
be had, even in that state.
I will make sure that you
have the time of your life.
Surely an Oni Slayer wouldn't
go back on his word.
Never.
Very well.
Let us go to Europe.
So how exactly do we extend my lifespan?
Oh, you just need to consume a part of me.
C-Consume? A part of you?
The cells of the Immortal are quite resilient.
If you take them into your body,
they will boost the immune
system of your human side.
You'll be able to slow the process
of turning into an oni.
Oho, I see.
But when you say "consume"
I have absolutely no intention of letting
you consume my eyes, ears, or brain.
We'll be using the parts I can spare.
And by that, you mean
Well, the most obvious answer would
be one of my bodily fluids.
Like my tears, nasal mucus,
sweat, or perhaps
Your saliva?
But I rarely cry or sweat.
Would you prefer my nasal
mucus or saliva?
Your saliva, please.
Very well.
Then come accept it.
Right now?
Yes. We will seal our deal with it.
And how should I receive this?
Why not directly?
There's no need to hold back.
Please excuse me.