Unsupervised (2012) s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
- [ Dance .]
- [ Cheering .]
[ Boy .]
Yeah! Yeah! [ Boy #2 .]
Pump it.
Pump it again! Pump it! [ Chattering .]
[ Cheering, chattering continue .]
- [ Boy .]
Git up, boy! - [ Boy #2 .]
Yeah, baby! Yeah! [ Girl .]
Those moves were so hot.
I know.
They weren't even hard to do either.
Can I kiss you? You want to do it, go ahead and do it.
[ Moaning .]
Check it out! He's hard as hell! [ Cheering .]
- [ Boy .]
Pucker up, son.
- [ Cheering continues .]
Everyone's cheering and flippin' out, and we started dancing even harder.
And then I woke up.
Damn.
That's badass, Gary.
Yo.
How were my moves? What do you think, Joel? They were freakin' incredible.
Yes! I knew it.
Yo, does your stepmom know we're building a lighting rod on your roof? Nah, man.
She don't know what the hell's goin' on.
She's down the shore with her friends.
I haven't seen her all week.
You're, like, in charge of the whole house.
I know.
I keep it clean as hell too.
I friggin' vacuumed the stairs yesterday.
You got to.
It's important to be proud of where you live.
I think we need more metal.
It still ain't big enough yet.
We'll just get Russ to grab some from the junkyard after school.
Oh, shit! I forgot about school.
We're late, man.
Oh, damn, dude.
We gotta book it.
How do we get down from here? - Just aim for the bush.
You'll be fine.
- All right.
Here goes.
[ Shouts, grunts .]
[ Groaning .]
A branch hit me in the spine.
I'm all right though.
Watch out, dude.
I'm coming! [ Shouts .]
- [ School bell rings .]
- [ Students shouting .]
Kill him! Kill him! Oh, damn, dude.
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! What happened? What? No one frickin' messes with Jojo Vanetti.
Get him, Jojo! [ Rob, weakly .]
Get off me.
Take it, bro.
Just take it.
Dude, this is awesome.
[ Gasps .]
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
- Kind of sad too.
- Yeah.
I can't tell whether fights are cool or sad.
It's confusing.
Code 19! I got a goddamn code 19! [ Electricity crackles .]
[ Gr[ Ns .]
[ Students jeering, laughing .]
That was badass.
[ Hip-hop .]
[ Man rapping, indistinct .]
Damn, dude [ Ends .]
[ Joel .]
Then the guard came out of nowhere - And electrocuted the hell out of him! - It was crazy.
You could smell his hair cooking.
You should've seen it, Darius.
I can't believe I missed that shit.
I can't believe Jojo Vanetti's sister was 69'ing.
She's only a freakin' freshman like us.
These are sexual times, y'all.
People be getting into all kind of freaky shit now.
Looking on the Internet, getting on them sex tubes, everybody's body is changing.
And your voice is deep as hell.
Yup.
Getting them hairs up my ass too.
I've been having sex dreams, like, every night.
I thought they were dance dreams.
They are, but the dancing always leads to porking.
The dancing drives girls wild and they go into a crazy erotic state.
They can't control themselves.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, hey, Megan.
I'm sitting with you guys today.
Danielle ditched me to cut with some juniors.
I don't even know what she's doing hanging out with them.
Oh, my God.
You guys are so bad.
Well, then you blind as a bat.
It's them big-ass titties she got.
People are calling her "rocket tits".
Yeah, 'cause her boobs are like rockets.
[ Scoffs .]
Why are guys so obsessed with breasts? They're just mounds of fat.
I don't know.
I just want 'em.
It's like an animal instinct.
Yeah, like how women love balls.
Um, women don't love balls.
They all about that dong, son.
They want the corn, not the onions.
All I know is we gotta start boning chicks.
People are 69'ing left and right, and we never even made out with no one.
I know, man.
We gotta start plowing.
[ Scoffs .]
I hate to break it to you fellas, but ain't no girls gonna get with you.
Look at y'all.
All nasty and covered in cuts and shit.
I jumped off the roof into a bush.
Almost stabbed my spen.
Yeah, we're making a lightning rod for the storm.
Russ brown's bringing over some scrap metal from the junkyard later.
Russ brown? Didn't he bring a dead fish to school? No.
It was shrimp shells.
He's mentally insane.
It's awesome.
See? That's the problem.
Girls don't want no dude who's riding bikes And hanging out with Russ brown and trying to get struck by lightning.
Who are you, Ben Franklin? We in High School now.
Y'all need to get y'all shit together.
Damn, man.
I thought we were cool.
Who cares about who's cool? [ Scoffs .]
And don't listen to Darius.
He's never even hooked up with a girl.
Oh, oh.
H-hold on now.
Hold on.
I got a weight problem.
They can stop jumping in bushes.
My shit is genetic.
I ain't even drinking no soda no more, trying to get myself right, and you gonna jab me like that.
Look, if we were smart, we would just form our own club, where we don't have to drink or smoke or have sex before we're ready.
It would just be teens going to movies or doing clean prank calls Or writing plays where we could play the parts.
And we would support each other.
That would be the biggest thing.
Uh I'd kind of rather just get girls.
Yeah, me too.
What you looking at me for? I ain't doing that shit.
Yo, man.
Can I tell you something? I've been thinking about what Darius said.
Me too.
I can't believe black people gotta moisturize their skin so much.
Tsk.
No, man.
I'm talking about how no girls wanna get with us 'Cause they think we're the dirty kids.
- We just get too pumped, man.
- We gotta stop acting like kids, man.
We gotta get girls.
Yeah.
[ Tires squealing .]
Then we can start 69'ing like mature adults.
Oh, shit, bro.
Yeah, man.
[ Rock on car stereo .]
[ Engine revs .]
Who is that? My new neighbor, yo.
[ Car door opens, closes .]
[ Glass shatters .]
Oh, no.
Hey, bro! You smash your bottles, you're really smashing your property value, okay? Oh, hey, Martin.
Hey, amigos.
You see the weather report? It looks like a big storm is coming.
I got some foil for your lightning rod.
Yeah, we're not doing the lightning rod no more, Martin.
It's kid stuff.
Yeah, Martin.
All we care about now is partying and boning chicks.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, boys.
You don't need that stuff.
I tell my daughter the same thing.
You want to drink? Drink knowledge.
You want to have sex? Have sex with a book.
Don't turn to the alcohol and the smoking and the pornografÃa.
That's no good.
Hey! Where is my bedroom door? I took it off the hinges.
Oh, my God! Why are you being such an asshole? Christina, I know what you're doing in there.
I found these in your closet.
It's like estudio 54 in there.
Estudio 54? What does that even mean? What does that even mean? That was the hottest club.
Man, they only let in the toughest and the best, like me.
Oh! You sound like an idiot! What would your mother say? She's watching you from heaven, you know.
She's probably up there getting banged by an angel! [ Martin .]
Eh! Eh! You don't talk about your mother that way.
Learn how to speak english.
It's freaking embarrassing.
Come on, Rachel.
Let's go.
Bye, Mr.
Rivera.
Good-bye, Rachel.
Ay de mi [ Tires squealing .]
[ Sighs .]
Now listen.
You stay out of trouble.
Don't end up like Christina, getting wasted all the time and having sex, going nowhere.
Let this be a lesson to you.
Yeah, Martin.
Definitely.
[ Hip-hop on car stereo .]
We wanna party with you guys.
You wanna come over to my house tonight? Why would we want to hang out with you? 'Cause you can drink and smoke all you want at my house.
I ain't got no rules.
Yeah, it's like chaos there.
What about your parents? My dad ran away, and my stepmom's out of town, like, every weekend.
My parents are old as dirt.
They don't give a crap about anything.
Sounds sad.
It's awesome.
I can do whatever the hell I want.
I held my breath for, like, a minute and passed out.
- No one even came and got me.
- That's crazy.
You got alcohol? Drinking's one of my stepmom's favorite things in the world.
She's got booze and cigarettes, all that stuff.
Yo, is this a 5.
0? Chill out, man.
That's a friggin' v-8, dude.
Yo, growl it! Growl the engine! Yeah, hit the pedal.
Growl it! Dude.
Dude.
Kick it into neutral and growl it up.
Yo, you're too pumped.
Calm it down.
I can't help it.
I feel like I got electricity in my veins.
What is he talking about? Oh, no.
He's just pump up.
So you guys wanna come over later? Fine.
But if you guys are weird, we're not gonna stay.
We're just gonna drink and get wasted.
It's gonna be awesome.
[ Continues .]
So, we supposed to leave now or what? I'm just gonna stand here.
Dude, that was easy.
We got two chicks lined up already.
I know, man.
Juniors too.
Yo, I took down the posters of the babes and the machine gun, but I think we should leave a scorpion one up.
I mean, look at his freakin' stinger.
It's strong as hell.
No way, man.
We gotta make it look cool in here.
It does look cool.
Girls love nature.
Yeah, and they hate scorpions.
They're scared of 'em.
Yeah, and if they get scared, we'll hold 'em close.
It'll be romantic as all hell.
Yo, that might be hot.
We could make the whole room scary! We'll put knives everywhere and, like, blood on the walls.
They're gonna freakin' think they're gonna get murdered.
But we'll just be like, "no, you're not.
It's cool, 'cause we're here.
Let's pork.
" That's a good idea, man.
Yeah, I'm trying to be more mentally strong.
Oh, here.
I did your laundry.
I got all the bloodstains out and everything.
Damn, dude.
You're mad good at laundry.
I take care of the whole house myself.
Yo, man.
Your underwear disintegrated.
Oh, damn.
They're old as hell.
They're hand-me-downs from my brother Brian.
Your brother Brian's, like, 40 years old.
I know.
My underwear are older than I am.
That's disgusting, dude.
I know it's disgusting! You think I like walking around in someone else's underwear? Calm down, man.
We'll get new ones.
With what? I ain't got no money.
I'm poor as dirt.
My stepmom gave me 10 bucks for food while she's gone, so we'll use that.
Better not be freakin' lying to me right now.
You really gonna buy me new underwear? Yeah, man.
You deserve it.
I never thought I'd be able to get my own underwear, not even in my dreams.
Oh! [ Huffs .]
Gonna get new drawers gonna get some new freakin' drawers drawers, drawers gonna get new drawers drawers, drawers gonna get new freakin' drawers [ Muttering, sniffing .]
Hey, what's up, pussies? What do you want, Russ? Look what I got from the junkyard, man.
That place is sweet.
There was rats fighting over a piece of poop, man.
I was like, "look at that rat, man.
He's gonna steal poop from the other rat.
" And the rats, man, they didn't even care.
They were best friends.
You guys are smoking cigarettes? We're hanging with girls tonight who love to smoke.
We gotta practice.
Man, what about the lightning rod? We're not doing that no more.
That's freakin' kid stuff.
Hey, man.
I'll smoke with you guys.
I'll smoke a million cigarettes.
I don't even care.
Yeah we can't hang out with you no more, Russ.
[ Sniffing .]
Yo, don't start sniffing your cast, Russ.
Are you smelling it? Ugh.
It's gross.
[ Muttering .]
- Come on, Russ.
Go! - Oh, Russ, man.
Get lost, Russ! We don't freakin' like you no more! Get outta here! Freakin' butt-licks! [ Crying .]
Damn, dude.
That was mad emotional.
[ Coughing .]
Yeah.
I feel like my throat's on fire.
Let's just get you some drawers.
[ Joel .]
Eh.
I don't know about these underwear.
You can barely see my bird, man.
They're too drapey.
No, that's the style.
It's a modern style.
I mean, look how big his bulge is.
Mine don't look like that.
Man, those dudes all stuff.
Joel? Megan? Ah, crap! [ Grunting .]
Freakin' door's locked! [ Grunting .]
Never mind.
I got it.
What are you doing here? My mom and I are picking up some stuff for movie night.
[ Chuckles .]
Why would you hang out with your mom? Um, because she's my best friend.
[ Chuckles .]
And I don't need to throw a big party And destroy myself like you to have a good time.
We ain't throwing no party.
[ Phone rings, buzzes .]
We're just having a couple of girls over.
Not anymore.
The whole school's gonna be there.
I heard Jojo Vanetti's even coming.
Jojo Vanetti's coming? Dude, it's only supposed to be us and two chicks.
There's gonna be fights.
Your house is gonna get trashed.
We could wind up in juvie! Calm down.
We're not going to juvie, dude.
Sounds like you guys need better options.
Uh options is the name of the club I was talking about forming earlier.
It stands for "other paths to inspire" Honey.
I don't think these cutlets you picked out are gonna fit in your bra.
Mom! Ugh! Shut up! Oh, are these your friends? Do you want to watch a movie with them instead or No.
They're too busy throwing a party.
Oh.
Maybe you should go! It might be fun.
That's a great idea, mom.
Why don't I just go to a crack house and get raped? Mother of the year, everyone! Good luck at your party, guys.
You will need it.
Oh! Mom, why are you so big? [ Panting .]
[ Horn honks .]
Freakin' juvie.
Freakin' Jojo.
Joel! Freakin' gonna get murdered.
Yo, wait up, man! [ Panting .]
[ Grunting .]
This freakin' bike don't skid right! - What is wrong with you? - You wanna know what's wrong with me? You want me to freakin' open up right now? Yeah, open up, man I want you to get open.
I can't take it, okay? Cigarettes and new underwear, and now we're hanging out with Jojo Vanetti? I just wanna go back to the way things were.
I wanna catch snakes and ride bikes And play ninjas forever! Do you wanna be a stupid, dirty kid for the rest of your life? I ain't no dirty kid! You call me that again, I'll dropkick you right in the chest.
You can't even do a dropkick.
You don't have enough power! It's not about power.
It's about air! [ Shouts .]
[ Both grunting .]
[ Australian accent .]
Oi.
What the hell's going on out here? The only one who fights in this yard is me.
You fellas fancy a kebab? So let me get this straight.
We got two best mates who got nothing else in the world except each other Ready to tear themselves limb from limb over trying to be cool.
We're mixed up, man.
We want to get chicks.
Yeah, but w-we like lightning and dance routines and stuff too.
Ah.
Torn between two worlds, are we? You know, this reminds me of a time when I was doing research on kangas in the outback.
Now kangaroos are very suspicious creatures Not unlike human beings in that way.
I was having trouble penetrating their society.
So I went undercover as one of them.
They were wary at first, but eventually they took me in as one of their own.
I ate with 'em.
I ran with 'em.
I even found love in one of their arms.
A love I've not felt before and haven't felt since.
It was beyond my wildest dreams.
And yet, I couldn't enjoy it, because I'd lost track of who I really was in the process.
That's when I knew I had to leave.
[ Gary .]
Damn.
You had sex with a kangaroo? What? You just freakin' said you made love to a kangaroo.
No, that's not uh Even if I did it, it was in the name of bloody science.
Look, the point is, don't try and be someone you're not.
A man's skin's the only outfit he has.
He might as well be comfortable in it.
That's mad deep, sid.
Yeah, thanks, yo.
Good luck, mates.
[ Yelps, gagging .]
Bit off a bit of skewer there.
Are you all right? I told you to buy metal skewers! You're the one who always yells at me to save money.
You don't skimp on skewers! Oh, go cry to your animals.
You leave her out of this! All right.
We're gonna go.
I miss ya, lass.
[ Hip-hop on stereo .]
[ Chattering, laughing .]
Hey, what's up, Jojo? Holla at your boy.
Uh all right now.
Damn, man.
This party's bumping, fellas.
Just be yourself, man.
That's the key to everything.
Thanks for inviting me to your party, Joel and Gary, even though I called you butt-licks earlier, and that was a rude thing.
Don't worry about it, Russ.
Yeah, we accept you for who you are.
Really? Yeah, man.
Freak, yeah! Look at all these cigarettes I brought! Yo, let's find a rat and make it smoke in the party.
Let's party! Let's party! Triflin'-ass buster.
Man, where the sodas in this bitch? I thought you gave up soda.
It's the weekend.
Can I do me? Yo, that tattoo is cool.
I'm gonna get one that says "milk" but, like, on my breast.
All right.
Let's go crazy.
Yeah.
Word up, everybody.
This party's the bomb.
Dad, what the hell are you doing here? I'm being cool like you.
Lose your mind, everybody.
New millennium, come on! Stop it.
You're freaking embarrassing me.
Oh, you're embarrassed of me? Or of the reflection you see of yourself? Huh? You think you can just party like you're Britney spay-ers? Baby, one more time Well, one time is going to be your last time.
[ Vocalizing .]
[ Yelps, grunts .]
[ Shouts .]
My shirt! Are you serious? Oh, my God.
You are the worst dad in the world! Ay, ay.
You guys, I got cereal here, if anyone's hungry.
Megan? What are you doing here? I thought you were having movie night with your mom.
I was worried about you guys, and I wanted to be here to help if it got Did you stuff your bra? Well, I Yeah.
Do they look good? Yeah, they look awesome.
Like, I can't believe this.
My shirt is totally ruined.
Yo, that's gonna rub the stain back in! We gotta get some vinegar on those.
Trust me.
Come on.
[ Continues .]
[ Darius .]
Yeah.
Go ahead now.
Go ahead now.
Move too.
Just grind on.
Gonna get on you, girl gonna tap that ass tonight 'cause my balls is large Hey.
How you doing? Hear me, man? Monsters.
I'm talking 'bout monsters.
Yo, you think monsters exist? [ Indistinct .]
[ Sniffing .]
[ Rachel .]
Hey.
Thanks for cleaning our shirts.
Yeah.
No problem.
I do all my own laundry.
Do you, like, live here alone? Pretty much, yeah.
Wow.
You're like an adult.
I slept on the roof last week.
What? I wish I had no parents.
Yeah, my dad sucks.
So you girls like to dance? Always moving, you got the power Oh.
Uh, sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here.
I was getting all pumped up and wanted to look at the scorpion.
[ Sighs .]
It's like all guys care about are boobs.
I don't care about your boobs.
They're just mounds of fat.
Uh, thanks.
You're sweet.
This room's weird.
It's a hell room.
Don't worry, I'll protect you.
Are you strong? No.
I got hairs on my pits though.
I friggin' sweated right through my shirt the other day.
I looked like a yard man.
Cool.
I don't get it.
[ Slurring .]
What's not to get? It's an exclusive club where kids can be themselves Without feeling peer pressure to drink or have sex.
If you join options, everyone will follow you, Jojo.
You're the key.
[ Gas hissing .]
Whoa.
[ Deep voice .]
Everything's repeating.
Everything you're saying is repeating.
[ Grunting .]
[ Dance music on stereo .]
Usually, guys are shy about dancing.
Not me.
I love it.
It's how I express myself.
I never met anyone like you.
That's because every person is unique.
To me, that's the beauty of life.
Oh, my God.
He's got a giant boner! What? Gross! Check it out! He's hard as hell! Aw, shit.
I can't control it when I dance! - Gary! - What? I'm gonna puke.
[ Thunderclap .]
[ Sighs .]
I try to teach her a lesson.
The truth is, I'm hard on her because that used to be me.
You know, with the drinking and the pills and the fast lifestyle.
You know, I was selling radios at radioshack and doing cocaÃna in the back.
I was the top salesman.
And then I got busted.
Oh.
It was bad news.
You wanna smoke cigarettes with me? Yes.
[ Thunderclap .]
I'm gonna lose my virginity to Jojo Vanetti.
Why don't you just lay down for a minute, okay? Don't just push on 'em Joel! [ Megan gasps .]
Danielle! Is he raping you? Megan? What are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with your mom.
Damn, dude.
You hooked up with rocket tits.
Yeah, man.
She don't like to be called that though.
I'm gonna throw up in your face.
[ Sighs .]
Come on.
Let's find a bathroom.
Oh, dude.
I was just dancing with juniors and I got rock hard.
It was like my dream, but not as cool.
I just wish I could control it.
You can't control it, man.
It's a part of life.
[ Thunderclap .]
[ Screaming .]
[ Russ .]
Oh, crap! Freakin' help! Somebody help! [ Boy .]
Somebody call an ambulance.
What happened, man? We were on the roof, messing with the lighting rod.
He got struck, man.
He got toasted.
I told y'all.
Don't be messing with that shit.
Oh.
Please, somebody help him! I can't get my cast wet.
[ Grunts .]
[ Gary .]
Oh, shit.
[ Joel .]
Whoa.
[ Coughing .]
Ay.
Easy, fella.
What the hell is wrong with you? This is what happens when you take the drogas.
You're all right.
Who the hell are you? Just a neighbor who cares.
And he's a good man.
He's the one with the telescope who looks in my window.
What? N-no.
I'm a bit of a stargazer is all.
Keen on all that, you know, asteroids and the lot.
[ Christina .]
Have you been smoking? Yo, thanks, sid.
That was badass.
Looks like you had yourselves a right shit-kicker.
I can't get my cast wet.
It'll disintegrate.
You blokes mind if I go for a swim? Yeah, man.
Go ahead.
Cheers, mate.
[ Shouts .]
And that's what I realized: Boobs aren't just mounds of fat.
They're awesome.
Hey, dude.
Can I tell you something? Yeah, man.
You can tell me anything in the whole wide world.
I'm friggin' proud of us.
That may have been the best party in all history.
I'm proud of us too, man.
House got pretty trashed though.
Yeah.
It's better up here.
Oh, here I go.
Thanks, man.
Sure, buddy.
- [ Cheering .]
[ Boy .]
Yeah! Yeah! [ Boy #2 .]
Pump it.
Pump it again! Pump it! [ Chattering .]
[ Cheering, chattering continue .]
- [ Boy .]
Git up, boy! - [ Boy #2 .]
Yeah, baby! Yeah! [ Girl .]
Those moves were so hot.
I know.
They weren't even hard to do either.
Can I kiss you? You want to do it, go ahead and do it.
[ Moaning .]
Check it out! He's hard as hell! [ Cheering .]
- [ Boy .]
Pucker up, son.
- [ Cheering continues .]
Everyone's cheering and flippin' out, and we started dancing even harder.
And then I woke up.
Damn.
That's badass, Gary.
Yo.
How were my moves? What do you think, Joel? They were freakin' incredible.
Yes! I knew it.
Yo, does your stepmom know we're building a lighting rod on your roof? Nah, man.
She don't know what the hell's goin' on.
She's down the shore with her friends.
I haven't seen her all week.
You're, like, in charge of the whole house.
I know.
I keep it clean as hell too.
I friggin' vacuumed the stairs yesterday.
You got to.
It's important to be proud of where you live.
I think we need more metal.
It still ain't big enough yet.
We'll just get Russ to grab some from the junkyard after school.
Oh, shit! I forgot about school.
We're late, man.
Oh, damn, dude.
We gotta book it.
How do we get down from here? - Just aim for the bush.
You'll be fine.
- All right.
Here goes.
[ Shouts, grunts .]
[ Groaning .]
A branch hit me in the spine.
I'm all right though.
Watch out, dude.
I'm coming! [ Shouts .]
- [ School bell rings .]
- [ Students shouting .]
Kill him! Kill him! Oh, damn, dude.
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! What happened? What? No one frickin' messes with Jojo Vanetti.
Get him, Jojo! [ Rob, weakly .]
Get off me.
Take it, bro.
Just take it.
Dude, this is awesome.
[ Gasps .]
I'm sorry.
Sorry.
- Kind of sad too.
- Yeah.
I can't tell whether fights are cool or sad.
It's confusing.
Code 19! I got a goddamn code 19! [ Electricity crackles .]
[ Gr[ Ns .]
[ Students jeering, laughing .]
That was badass.
[ Hip-hop .]
[ Man rapping, indistinct .]
Damn, dude [ Ends .]
[ Joel .]
Then the guard came out of nowhere - And electrocuted the hell out of him! - It was crazy.
You could smell his hair cooking.
You should've seen it, Darius.
I can't believe I missed that shit.
I can't believe Jojo Vanetti's sister was 69'ing.
She's only a freakin' freshman like us.
These are sexual times, y'all.
People be getting into all kind of freaky shit now.
Looking on the Internet, getting on them sex tubes, everybody's body is changing.
And your voice is deep as hell.
Yup.
Getting them hairs up my ass too.
I've been having sex dreams, like, every night.
I thought they were dance dreams.
They are, but the dancing always leads to porking.
The dancing drives girls wild and they go into a crazy erotic state.
They can't control themselves.
Mm-hmm.
Uh, hey, Megan.
I'm sitting with you guys today.
Danielle ditched me to cut with some juniors.
I don't even know what she's doing hanging out with them.
Oh, my God.
You guys are so bad.
Well, then you blind as a bat.
It's them big-ass titties she got.
People are calling her "rocket tits".
Yeah, 'cause her boobs are like rockets.
[ Scoffs .]
Why are guys so obsessed with breasts? They're just mounds of fat.
I don't know.
I just want 'em.
It's like an animal instinct.
Yeah, like how women love balls.
Um, women don't love balls.
They all about that dong, son.
They want the corn, not the onions.
All I know is we gotta start boning chicks.
People are 69'ing left and right, and we never even made out with no one.
I know, man.
We gotta start plowing.
[ Scoffs .]
I hate to break it to you fellas, but ain't no girls gonna get with you.
Look at y'all.
All nasty and covered in cuts and shit.
I jumped off the roof into a bush.
Almost stabbed my spen.
Yeah, we're making a lightning rod for the storm.
Russ brown's bringing over some scrap metal from the junkyard later.
Russ brown? Didn't he bring a dead fish to school? No.
It was shrimp shells.
He's mentally insane.
It's awesome.
See? That's the problem.
Girls don't want no dude who's riding bikes And hanging out with Russ brown and trying to get struck by lightning.
Who are you, Ben Franklin? We in High School now.
Y'all need to get y'all shit together.
Damn, man.
I thought we were cool.
Who cares about who's cool? [ Scoffs .]
And don't listen to Darius.
He's never even hooked up with a girl.
Oh, oh.
H-hold on now.
Hold on.
I got a weight problem.
They can stop jumping in bushes.
My shit is genetic.
I ain't even drinking no soda no more, trying to get myself right, and you gonna jab me like that.
Look, if we were smart, we would just form our own club, where we don't have to drink or smoke or have sex before we're ready.
It would just be teens going to movies or doing clean prank calls Or writing plays where we could play the parts.
And we would support each other.
That would be the biggest thing.
Uh I'd kind of rather just get girls.
Yeah, me too.
What you looking at me for? I ain't doing that shit.
Yo, man.
Can I tell you something? I've been thinking about what Darius said.
Me too.
I can't believe black people gotta moisturize their skin so much.
Tsk.
No, man.
I'm talking about how no girls wanna get with us 'Cause they think we're the dirty kids.
- We just get too pumped, man.
- We gotta stop acting like kids, man.
We gotta get girls.
Yeah.
[ Tires squealing .]
Then we can start 69'ing like mature adults.
Oh, shit, bro.
Yeah, man.
[ Rock on car stereo .]
[ Engine revs .]
Who is that? My new neighbor, yo.
[ Car door opens, closes .]
[ Glass shatters .]
Oh, no.
Hey, bro! You smash your bottles, you're really smashing your property value, okay? Oh, hey, Martin.
Hey, amigos.
You see the weather report? It looks like a big storm is coming.
I got some foil for your lightning rod.
Yeah, we're not doing the lightning rod no more, Martin.
It's kid stuff.
Yeah, Martin.
All we care about now is partying and boning chicks.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, boys.
You don't need that stuff.
I tell my daughter the same thing.
You want to drink? Drink knowledge.
You want to have sex? Have sex with a book.
Don't turn to the alcohol and the smoking and the pornografÃa.
That's no good.
Hey! Where is my bedroom door? I took it off the hinges.
Oh, my God! Why are you being such an asshole? Christina, I know what you're doing in there.
I found these in your closet.
It's like estudio 54 in there.
Estudio 54? What does that even mean? What does that even mean? That was the hottest club.
Man, they only let in the toughest and the best, like me.
Oh! You sound like an idiot! What would your mother say? She's watching you from heaven, you know.
She's probably up there getting banged by an angel! [ Martin .]
Eh! Eh! You don't talk about your mother that way.
Learn how to speak english.
It's freaking embarrassing.
Come on, Rachel.
Let's go.
Bye, Mr.
Rivera.
Good-bye, Rachel.
Ay de mi [ Tires squealing .]
[ Sighs .]
Now listen.
You stay out of trouble.
Don't end up like Christina, getting wasted all the time and having sex, going nowhere.
Let this be a lesson to you.
Yeah, Martin.
Definitely.
[ Hip-hop on car stereo .]
We wanna party with you guys.
You wanna come over to my house tonight? Why would we want to hang out with you? 'Cause you can drink and smoke all you want at my house.
I ain't got no rules.
Yeah, it's like chaos there.
What about your parents? My dad ran away, and my stepmom's out of town, like, every weekend.
My parents are old as dirt.
They don't give a crap about anything.
Sounds sad.
It's awesome.
I can do whatever the hell I want.
I held my breath for, like, a minute and passed out.
- No one even came and got me.
- That's crazy.
You got alcohol? Drinking's one of my stepmom's favorite things in the world.
She's got booze and cigarettes, all that stuff.
Yo, is this a 5.
0? Chill out, man.
That's a friggin' v-8, dude.
Yo, growl it! Growl the engine! Yeah, hit the pedal.
Growl it! Dude.
Dude.
Kick it into neutral and growl it up.
Yo, you're too pumped.
Calm it down.
I can't help it.
I feel like I got electricity in my veins.
What is he talking about? Oh, no.
He's just pump up.
So you guys wanna come over later? Fine.
But if you guys are weird, we're not gonna stay.
We're just gonna drink and get wasted.
It's gonna be awesome.
[ Continues .]
So, we supposed to leave now or what? I'm just gonna stand here.
Dude, that was easy.
We got two chicks lined up already.
I know, man.
Juniors too.
Yo, I took down the posters of the babes and the machine gun, but I think we should leave a scorpion one up.
I mean, look at his freakin' stinger.
It's strong as hell.
No way, man.
We gotta make it look cool in here.
It does look cool.
Girls love nature.
Yeah, and they hate scorpions.
They're scared of 'em.
Yeah, and if they get scared, we'll hold 'em close.
It'll be romantic as all hell.
Yo, that might be hot.
We could make the whole room scary! We'll put knives everywhere and, like, blood on the walls.
They're gonna freakin' think they're gonna get murdered.
But we'll just be like, "no, you're not.
It's cool, 'cause we're here.
Let's pork.
" That's a good idea, man.
Yeah, I'm trying to be more mentally strong.
Oh, here.
I did your laundry.
I got all the bloodstains out and everything.
Damn, dude.
You're mad good at laundry.
I take care of the whole house myself.
Yo, man.
Your underwear disintegrated.
Oh, damn.
They're old as hell.
They're hand-me-downs from my brother Brian.
Your brother Brian's, like, 40 years old.
I know.
My underwear are older than I am.
That's disgusting, dude.
I know it's disgusting! You think I like walking around in someone else's underwear? Calm down, man.
We'll get new ones.
With what? I ain't got no money.
I'm poor as dirt.
My stepmom gave me 10 bucks for food while she's gone, so we'll use that.
Better not be freakin' lying to me right now.
You really gonna buy me new underwear? Yeah, man.
You deserve it.
I never thought I'd be able to get my own underwear, not even in my dreams.
Oh! [ Huffs .]
Gonna get new drawers gonna get some new freakin' drawers drawers, drawers gonna get new drawers drawers, drawers gonna get new freakin' drawers [ Muttering, sniffing .]
Hey, what's up, pussies? What do you want, Russ? Look what I got from the junkyard, man.
That place is sweet.
There was rats fighting over a piece of poop, man.
I was like, "look at that rat, man.
He's gonna steal poop from the other rat.
" And the rats, man, they didn't even care.
They were best friends.
You guys are smoking cigarettes? We're hanging with girls tonight who love to smoke.
We gotta practice.
Man, what about the lightning rod? We're not doing that no more.
That's freakin' kid stuff.
Hey, man.
I'll smoke with you guys.
I'll smoke a million cigarettes.
I don't even care.
Yeah we can't hang out with you no more, Russ.
[ Sniffing .]
Yo, don't start sniffing your cast, Russ.
Are you smelling it? Ugh.
It's gross.
[ Muttering .]
- Come on, Russ.
Go! - Oh, Russ, man.
Get lost, Russ! We don't freakin' like you no more! Get outta here! Freakin' butt-licks! [ Crying .]
Damn, dude.
That was mad emotional.
[ Coughing .]
Yeah.
I feel like my throat's on fire.
Let's just get you some drawers.
[ Joel .]
Eh.
I don't know about these underwear.
You can barely see my bird, man.
They're too drapey.
No, that's the style.
It's a modern style.
I mean, look how big his bulge is.
Mine don't look like that.
Man, those dudes all stuff.
Joel? Megan? Ah, crap! [ Grunting .]
Freakin' door's locked! [ Grunting .]
Never mind.
I got it.
What are you doing here? My mom and I are picking up some stuff for movie night.
[ Chuckles .]
Why would you hang out with your mom? Um, because she's my best friend.
[ Chuckles .]
And I don't need to throw a big party And destroy myself like you to have a good time.
We ain't throwing no party.
[ Phone rings, buzzes .]
We're just having a couple of girls over.
Not anymore.
The whole school's gonna be there.
I heard Jojo Vanetti's even coming.
Jojo Vanetti's coming? Dude, it's only supposed to be us and two chicks.
There's gonna be fights.
Your house is gonna get trashed.
We could wind up in juvie! Calm down.
We're not going to juvie, dude.
Sounds like you guys need better options.
Uh options is the name of the club I was talking about forming earlier.
It stands for "other paths to inspire" Honey.
I don't think these cutlets you picked out are gonna fit in your bra.
Mom! Ugh! Shut up! Oh, are these your friends? Do you want to watch a movie with them instead or No.
They're too busy throwing a party.
Oh.
Maybe you should go! It might be fun.
That's a great idea, mom.
Why don't I just go to a crack house and get raped? Mother of the year, everyone! Good luck at your party, guys.
You will need it.
Oh! Mom, why are you so big? [ Panting .]
[ Horn honks .]
Freakin' juvie.
Freakin' Jojo.
Joel! Freakin' gonna get murdered.
Yo, wait up, man! [ Panting .]
[ Grunting .]
This freakin' bike don't skid right! - What is wrong with you? - You wanna know what's wrong with me? You want me to freakin' open up right now? Yeah, open up, man I want you to get open.
I can't take it, okay? Cigarettes and new underwear, and now we're hanging out with Jojo Vanetti? I just wanna go back to the way things were.
I wanna catch snakes and ride bikes And play ninjas forever! Do you wanna be a stupid, dirty kid for the rest of your life? I ain't no dirty kid! You call me that again, I'll dropkick you right in the chest.
You can't even do a dropkick.
You don't have enough power! It's not about power.
It's about air! [ Shouts .]
[ Both grunting .]
[ Australian accent .]
Oi.
What the hell's going on out here? The only one who fights in this yard is me.
You fellas fancy a kebab? So let me get this straight.
We got two best mates who got nothing else in the world except each other Ready to tear themselves limb from limb over trying to be cool.
We're mixed up, man.
We want to get chicks.
Yeah, but w-we like lightning and dance routines and stuff too.
Ah.
Torn between two worlds, are we? You know, this reminds me of a time when I was doing research on kangas in the outback.
Now kangaroos are very suspicious creatures Not unlike human beings in that way.
I was having trouble penetrating their society.
So I went undercover as one of them.
They were wary at first, but eventually they took me in as one of their own.
I ate with 'em.
I ran with 'em.
I even found love in one of their arms.
A love I've not felt before and haven't felt since.
It was beyond my wildest dreams.
And yet, I couldn't enjoy it, because I'd lost track of who I really was in the process.
That's when I knew I had to leave.
[ Gary .]
Damn.
You had sex with a kangaroo? What? You just freakin' said you made love to a kangaroo.
No, that's not uh Even if I did it, it was in the name of bloody science.
Look, the point is, don't try and be someone you're not.
A man's skin's the only outfit he has.
He might as well be comfortable in it.
That's mad deep, sid.
Yeah, thanks, yo.
Good luck, mates.
[ Yelps, gagging .]
Bit off a bit of skewer there.
Are you all right? I told you to buy metal skewers! You're the one who always yells at me to save money.
You don't skimp on skewers! Oh, go cry to your animals.
You leave her out of this! All right.
We're gonna go.
I miss ya, lass.
[ Hip-hop on stereo .]
[ Chattering, laughing .]
Hey, what's up, Jojo? Holla at your boy.
Uh all right now.
Damn, man.
This party's bumping, fellas.
Just be yourself, man.
That's the key to everything.
Thanks for inviting me to your party, Joel and Gary, even though I called you butt-licks earlier, and that was a rude thing.
Don't worry about it, Russ.
Yeah, we accept you for who you are.
Really? Yeah, man.
Freak, yeah! Look at all these cigarettes I brought! Yo, let's find a rat and make it smoke in the party.
Let's party! Let's party! Triflin'-ass buster.
Man, where the sodas in this bitch? I thought you gave up soda.
It's the weekend.
Can I do me? Yo, that tattoo is cool.
I'm gonna get one that says "milk" but, like, on my breast.
All right.
Let's go crazy.
Yeah.
Word up, everybody.
This party's the bomb.
Dad, what the hell are you doing here? I'm being cool like you.
Lose your mind, everybody.
New millennium, come on! Stop it.
You're freaking embarrassing me.
Oh, you're embarrassed of me? Or of the reflection you see of yourself? Huh? You think you can just party like you're Britney spay-ers? Baby, one more time Well, one time is going to be your last time.
[ Vocalizing .]
[ Yelps, grunts .]
[ Shouts .]
My shirt! Are you serious? Oh, my God.
You are the worst dad in the world! Ay, ay.
You guys, I got cereal here, if anyone's hungry.
Megan? What are you doing here? I thought you were having movie night with your mom.
I was worried about you guys, and I wanted to be here to help if it got Did you stuff your bra? Well, I Yeah.
Do they look good? Yeah, they look awesome.
Like, I can't believe this.
My shirt is totally ruined.
Yo, that's gonna rub the stain back in! We gotta get some vinegar on those.
Trust me.
Come on.
[ Continues .]
[ Darius .]
Yeah.
Go ahead now.
Go ahead now.
Move too.
Just grind on.
Gonna get on you, girl gonna tap that ass tonight 'cause my balls is large Hey.
How you doing? Hear me, man? Monsters.
I'm talking 'bout monsters.
Yo, you think monsters exist? [ Indistinct .]
[ Sniffing .]
[ Rachel .]
Hey.
Thanks for cleaning our shirts.
Yeah.
No problem.
I do all my own laundry.
Do you, like, live here alone? Pretty much, yeah.
Wow.
You're like an adult.
I slept on the roof last week.
What? I wish I had no parents.
Yeah, my dad sucks.
So you girls like to dance? Always moving, you got the power Oh.
Uh, sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here.
I was getting all pumped up and wanted to look at the scorpion.
[ Sighs .]
It's like all guys care about are boobs.
I don't care about your boobs.
They're just mounds of fat.
Uh, thanks.
You're sweet.
This room's weird.
It's a hell room.
Don't worry, I'll protect you.
Are you strong? No.
I got hairs on my pits though.
I friggin' sweated right through my shirt the other day.
I looked like a yard man.
Cool.
I don't get it.
[ Slurring .]
What's not to get? It's an exclusive club where kids can be themselves Without feeling peer pressure to drink or have sex.
If you join options, everyone will follow you, Jojo.
You're the key.
[ Gas hissing .]
Whoa.
[ Deep voice .]
Everything's repeating.
Everything you're saying is repeating.
[ Grunting .]
[ Dance music on stereo .]
Usually, guys are shy about dancing.
Not me.
I love it.
It's how I express myself.
I never met anyone like you.
That's because every person is unique.
To me, that's the beauty of life.
Oh, my God.
He's got a giant boner! What? Gross! Check it out! He's hard as hell! Aw, shit.
I can't control it when I dance! - Gary! - What? I'm gonna puke.
[ Thunderclap .]
[ Sighs .]
I try to teach her a lesson.
The truth is, I'm hard on her because that used to be me.
You know, with the drinking and the pills and the fast lifestyle.
You know, I was selling radios at radioshack and doing cocaÃna in the back.
I was the top salesman.
And then I got busted.
Oh.
It was bad news.
You wanna smoke cigarettes with me? Yes.
[ Thunderclap .]
I'm gonna lose my virginity to Jojo Vanetti.
Why don't you just lay down for a minute, okay? Don't just push on 'em Joel! [ Megan gasps .]
Danielle! Is he raping you? Megan? What are you doing here? I thought you were hanging out with your mom.
Damn, dude.
You hooked up with rocket tits.
Yeah, man.
She don't like to be called that though.
I'm gonna throw up in your face.
[ Sighs .]
Come on.
Let's find a bathroom.
Oh, dude.
I was just dancing with juniors and I got rock hard.
It was like my dream, but not as cool.
I just wish I could control it.
You can't control it, man.
It's a part of life.
[ Thunderclap .]
[ Screaming .]
[ Russ .]
Oh, crap! Freakin' help! Somebody help! [ Boy .]
Somebody call an ambulance.
What happened, man? We were on the roof, messing with the lighting rod.
He got struck, man.
He got toasted.
I told y'all.
Don't be messing with that shit.
Oh.
Please, somebody help him! I can't get my cast wet.
[ Grunts .]
[ Gary .]
Oh, shit.
[ Joel .]
Whoa.
[ Coughing .]
Ay.
Easy, fella.
What the hell is wrong with you? This is what happens when you take the drogas.
You're all right.
Who the hell are you? Just a neighbor who cares.
And he's a good man.
He's the one with the telescope who looks in my window.
What? N-no.
I'm a bit of a stargazer is all.
Keen on all that, you know, asteroids and the lot.
[ Christina .]
Have you been smoking? Yo, thanks, sid.
That was badass.
Looks like you had yourselves a right shit-kicker.
I can't get my cast wet.
It'll disintegrate.
You blokes mind if I go for a swim? Yeah, man.
Go ahead.
Cheers, mate.
[ Shouts .]
And that's what I realized: Boobs aren't just mounds of fat.
They're awesome.
Hey, dude.
Can I tell you something? Yeah, man.
You can tell me anything in the whole wide world.
I'm friggin' proud of us.
That may have been the best party in all history.
I'm proud of us too, man.
House got pretty trashed though.
Yeah.
It's better up here.
Oh, here I go.
Thanks, man.
Sure, buddy.