Voyagers! s01e01 Episode Script
Pilot
(SEAGULLS CAWING) (PEOPLE SHOUTING) Help me.
No! Hold on.
Let go! Help! MAN: The boy.
Get the boy! Father! Give us a hand, son.
Hurry.
(SCREAMS) Hurry, son.
I can't hold them off much longer.
Father! (WHINING) (DOOR CLOSING) TOM: Just leave him at home.
ELIZABETH: I can't.
You know that.
I don't believe it.
Every time, every time it happens like this.
What do you want me to do? Put him out on the street? Can it, Ralph.
Look, he's my nephew.
He doesn't have anybody else.
I don't care.
I just don't want him to ruin our trip to Cancun.
Look, can't you send him off someplace? Send him off to Yeah, that's right.
Where? You tell me where and I'll do it.
Look, do you think I like being saddled with an 11-year-old kid? Oh, why did Bill and Cathy have to die? (PLUMMETING) (THUDDING) (MAN GRUNTING) (MAN MUTTERING) (RALPH BARKING) (GRUNTING) (BARKING) Smoking bat's breath! Could've killed me.
When did they start building them this high? This isn't 1492.
Where's Columbus, kid? Where am I? (SNARLING) Ralph! He's got my book.
Ralph, let go! Keep your lousy fangs off of me.
Ralph, come on.
Ralph, give it up.
Let go! (JEFFREY SCREAMING) (PLUMMETING) (GRUNTS) Just once I'd like to land on a haystack.
A nice, soft, sweet-smelling haystack.
Are we alive? Alive? Oh, no.
Yeah, we're alive.
What year was that? I got to get you back.
What year? Year.
And don't tell me 1492.
I know for a fact they didn't have buildings like that in 1492.
They do in '82.
(LAUGHS) A joker.
Funny.
We'll try that again 'cause you're a nice kid.
What year? And I'd like to know where we are right now.
Son, I'm not a man known for being patient.
This here Omni's only got circuits to 1970.
The only way I can get you to '82 is if the lousy thing (OMNI BEEPING) Bat's breath! It's losing it again in the automatic mode.
Bat's breath? Do you know how difficult it is to field strip one of these things? Where's my Guidebook? Got to be around here somewhere.
Well, help me, will you? Is it black? Yeah.
Now look.
Can't do a lousy thing without it.
About this big? Right.
Right.
You got it there? No.
Ralph does.
Ralph? My dog.
Dog.
You mean the big, furry thing with all the teeth.
Ralph.
In 1982? (BOGG MUTTERS) Do you know what you've done? History's going to change because you couldn't control your shaggy, little mutt.
Empires are going to fall.
Wars are going to rage.
I'm going to lose my job.
Your job? Who do you think you are? You break into my room.
You knock me out a window.
You bring me here, wherever I am.
You deserve to lose your lousy job! Yeah? Yeah! Smart kids give me a pain.
Hey, where are we going? (CHUCKLES) Where am I going? I'm going to salvage what's left of my job.
You're going to get lost.
I am lost.
(BABY GURGLING) Hey! Hey, what? Is this what you're looking for? JEFFREY: Well, is it? I don't know.
You don't know? If I had my Guidebook, I'd know.
Now, I've just got to guess.
(BEEPING) Check the old Omni.
Nope.
Not it.
Not what? Not right.
Well, if you'd tell me what's going on here, I might be able to help.
Who are you? What are you? What am I? I am a voyager.
You ever hear of one? Of course not.
No one has.
We're the people that are plucked out of time and trained to travel through the ages to help history along.
You know, give it a shove where it's needed.
Problem is, though, you see, there was this blonde in my class, real nice legs and she got a mole right here, and this kind of mysterious way of talking.
Kind of distracted me, you know? Maybe you don't know.
Anyway, I figured I didn't have to pay attention.
The Guidebook tells you what you gotta do.
But your Guidebook Was your fur coat's dinner.
So, here I am.
In Egypt, 1450 B.
C.
And I haven't got the foggiest idea what I'm supposed to do.
(BABY GURGLES) You got an idea, kid? This is Egypt.
Maybe I'm supposed to feed him.
We traveled through time? Got some beef jerky here somewheres.
Moses! What? Hey, be careful with him, will you? He's Moses.
Moses? Moses was an old man with white whiskers.
Looks like Santa Claus with a part in the middle.
What are you doing? Putting him back in the water.
He'll drown.
(SHUSHING) Look.
Moses was found by the pharaoh's daughter, in the Nile.
(DINGS) That's it.
Green light.
How'd you know? My dad was a history professor.
Let me see.
Which one do you press to (PEOPLE YELLING) (PLUMMETING) You little toad.
Don't you ever, ever touch this Oh, no.
(EXCLAIMS) Hey, easy.
It's okay, kid.
They almost ran over us.
That ought to give you a pretty good idea why you'll never touch this Omni again.
What am I saying? Nice to know you, kid.
Sorry for any inconvenience, but I work alone.
Oh, no, you don't.
You got me into this, you're getting me out.
I got school tomorrow.
Can't take you back.
I don't even know where I am.
France, 1918.
The Revolutionary War.
First World War.
What? The First World War.
Right.
(HORSE NEIGHING) (GUN FIRING) Those the good guys? Yeah.
(YELLING) Hold it right there! That thing's dangerous.
Will you put that down before We're the good guys.
Then get us out of here.
Help me with this jacket, will you? Where do you think you're going? To create a little diversion.
Motor Transportation 1A.
When you want it to go Motor Transportation 1A.
The clutch.
Oh, the clutch.
Bat's breath.
Come on, we'd better get inside.
Think he'll come back? He better.
Who is he, anyway? My father.
Oh.
Motor Transportation 1A.
Wanna get off.
Jump! (SPEAKING GERMAN) (OMNI BEEPING) So much for motorcycles.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING) (EXCLAIMING) Bat's breath! Will you stop it? "Bat's breath"? Is that you? No, it's General Eisenhower.
Eisenhower? Wrong war.
Don't they have light in here? Oh, yeah, we found some lamps.
(STAMMERING) Hey, I'm really sorry.
First I try to shoot you, and now this.
We didn't really hurt you or anything, did we? Hurt me? You two? No.
Okay.
Where'd you get the uniform? You don't want to know.
How is he? He's better.
He's still unconscious but your son here was able to stop the bleeding.
My what? It was a clean shoulder wound.
But his fever's coming down.
We were on our way to an entertainers' troupe on the front line when the zeppelins attacked.
There were bombs everywhere.
The corporal here took the only road out, but it put us behind enemy lines.
And here we are.
You know who this is? No, son, but I'm sure you'll introduce us.
This is Mary Murphy.
Mary Murphy, the actress? And this is my father.
Phineas Bogg.
Phineas? Phineas.
Now, it's obvious we've got to get these two back where they belong.
So why don't you stay and watch the corporal for a while, while I go out and look for a truck? I'll go with you.
Not in that, you won't.
Well, how about this? It's perfect.
So instead of stumping for war bonds at home, I decided to come here and boost the boys' morale.
You sure boost mine.
I heard about your wife.
Wife? Jeffrey told me how she died.
Oh, Jeffrey.
You know, I think it's wonderful the way you're bringing him up on your own.
I really haven't done that much.
You're modest.
I love a modest man.
I'm very modest.
Do you ever think about coming to Hollywood? You know, you really remind me of Doug.
Doug? Yeah.
Fairbanks.
The swashbuckler.
Doug.
Listen, could we get back to the modesty part? Is that what we're looking for? Where? Over there.
Perfect.
Now if we can only get those two away from there Kiss me.
No problem.
How could you do this to me? Do you know what this does to me? What are you doing? No! Don't touch me.
I hate you! I hate you! (CRYING) Eddie Rickenbacker? You're the Eddie Rickenbacker? Yeah, sure, I guess.
Corporal Eddie Rickenbacker.
Columbus, Ohio.
Well, what are you doing here? Kid, I was gonna ask you.
But you're the number one ace.
You should be up in the air dogfighting.
Dogfighting? I hate to tell you, but dogs don't fly.
The only thing that's up in the air these days is zeppelins, and the Jerries are taking us to the cleaners with them.
You mean we're losing the war? You better like sauerkraut.
But what about airplanes? You just go up in the air and shoot the zeppelins down.
Aeroplanes? Oh, kid, they can barely get those things off the ground.
That Bleriot guy who invented them keeps landing in the English Channel.
Bleriot? But what about the Wright brothers? Who? Uh-oh! Kid! Where you going? That was my fiancé.
It's so low, what he did to me.
He's terrible, he's awful, he's hideous.
Phineas! Bat's breath.
Halt! The truck.
Hey! (BOGG MUTTERING) What the heck? How does this thing The clutch.
Clutch.
SOLDIER: Stop.
Stop the truck.
Of all the times.
I know what's wrong here.
What's wrong here is you.
Halt.
(GUNS FIRING) Did you see where Mary was when you came running around the side? Got to go back and get her.
There aren't any airplanes.
What? SOLDIER: Stop it.
Stop the truck.
Airplanes! That's what we have to change.
Without airplanes, the Germans are gonna win the war.
The Germans didn't win the war? (TIRES SCREECHING) Hang on, kid, look out.
SOLDIER: Capture them.
Catch them alive.
Someday, somewhere in time, I'm gonna Look, can you set that Omni thing any place in time? You bet, and when I find the guy who invented this contraption Look, forget the truck.
The corporal with Mary is Eddie Rickenbacker.
So? So he was the top US flying ace.
Problem is, there aren't any airplanes around to fly in.
He's never even heard of the Wright brothers.
Yeah, that makes two of us.
Wright brothers? Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, 1903.
Kid, you better be right.
Hang on.
BOGG: Well, thanks for your trouble.
That's another one, kid.
Face it.
No one here has even heard of the Wright brothers.
Red light still blinking? (OMNI BEEPING) Like crazy.
That's because they're not here.
We got to go to Dayton.
Dayton? You foul up our escape, make me leave Mary in the middle of the First World War, dragging me halfway around the world to find a couple of guys who's not even here, and you expect me to take you to Dayton? That's where their bicycle shop is.
No, kid, this is it.
Time to part our ways.
You're in America, same century.
That may be the best I can do.
So why don't we just Can it.
You're stuck with me until you put me back in my room where you got me.
Besides, you don't know anything about history.
You'll mess the whole thing up.
Yeah? And what's this father business, huh? I haven't met a girl like that in 300 years and you tell her you're my son? You know what that could do to my reputation? What about your own father? What would he say? My father's dead.
Yeah, and if he's anything like me, you probably did him in, too.
Just shut up! Hey, Jeff! I'm sorry.
Jeffrey! Come on, man.
(EXCLAIMS) Sorry, man.
No.
No, let me go! Let me go! Easy, Jeff.
No.
Hey, hey, easy.
No, no, no.
Easy, Jeffrey.
No.
Let me go.
(CRYING) Let me go, let me go.
(CRYING) It's gonna be okay, Jeff.
I'm sorry.
We were going camping up north.
I was in the camp reading some comics.
I don't know, Dad must've fallen asleep.
'Cause we ran off the road into some trees.
I was all right.
But Mom and Dad got real smashed up.
I tried to get them out.
But there was this fire.
I went up to the road, to try to get someone to help.
But no one would stop.
I couldn't get anyone to stop.
Don't blame yourself, kid.
Just get some rest.
(SIGHING) Dayton.
(HORN HONKING) (NEIGHING) Will you stop that? I can't help it.
They itch, they're hot.
They make me feel stupid.
It wasn't my idea to come to Dayton.
Well, this is it.
It certainly is.
Good afternoon.
Forget it, Bogg.
She's a blonde.
BOGG: Nice day.
AGNES: It certainly is.
Phineas Bogg.
Agnes Spence.
Come on, Romeo, I found us a job.
It's my nephew.
Oh! WILBUR: You had no business doing it.
ORVILLE: Well, I didn't think I'd have to ask your permission.
Of course not, because you knew what I'd say.
Good morning.
You gents looking for some help? Morning.
Just a minute.
She wanted me to ask her out.
You know that she's my girl, Orville.
Well, this hurts to say, Will.
But Agnes doesn't even like you.
Oh, that's news to me.
In fact, she thinks this whole flying idea of yours is crazy and childish.
Gentlemen, excuse me.
Just one minute, wait a second.
Flying is my idea? Who spent 10 days flying this box kite, huh? Who, huh? Huh? Who spent four sleepless nights designing these wings? Huh? Who worked for a solid month building this model? And you're calling me childish? Childish, childish.
Childish is working six months on a glider that won't fly in a crosswind.
Childish.
Childish is wanting to ride this thing off a big rock cliff.
Mature.
Mature is putting it away before someone gets hurt.
Agnes likes her men mature.
WILBUR: Mature.
Agnes likes her men mature, does she? Well, Wilbur, that's what she told me.
Well, maybe I've matured, too.
Hey, guys, I think this has gone far enough, really Maybe I don't care too much about younger brothers, flying machines or bicycle shops.
Maybe I matured so much that I've had it with this whole kit and caboodle.
You know, I really don't think Agnes would want you two to be arguing like this.
Oh, you ain't got the maturity of a billy goat, Wilbur.
We're finished, you hear that? We're through.
We're through! Agnes? Well, kid, guess we got the job.
JEFFREY: And this whole thing's because of a girl? Because of a girl? Kid, wars have been fought over women.
Some day you'll understand.
But I really wouldn't blame Agnes.
This is a case of three people being confused about what they really want.
Agnes thinks she wants love, when all she really cares about is romance.
Orville and Wilbur think they want Agnes, when all they really care about is flying.
Think this will work? If I read them right.
They see this fly and Agnes is a memory.
How's it look? Terrific.
Let's hear the notes to the boys.
JEFFREY: "Dearest Wilbur, I have so many things to tell you.
"Orville means nothing to me.
Meet me at Big Rock " "Dearest Orville, I have so many things to tell you.
"Wilbur means nothing to me.
"Meet me at Big Rock Creek, this morning at 10:00.
" BOGG: Dearest Agnes, my heart stopped when I saw you outside the shop.
Forget the Wright brothers.
I'll be at Big Rock Creek this morning at 10:00 waiting to prove my soaring love.
Yours forever, Phineas Bogg.
It's a long way down.
Uh-huh.
Think they'll come? They'll come.
Think it'll fly? As long as there isn't a crosswind.
Whoa.
(CLICKING TONGUE) Whoa.
Phineas! Phineas? (WIND HOWLING) JEFFREY: Too windy, Bogg.
Forget it, you can't fly in this.
BOGG: Can you see them? They're almost up to her.
Get that left side down.
Hold it down.
I can't, there's too much wind.
Where are they now? For you, darling.
Sorry my brother had to be so immature as to follow me.
Follow you? I think it's time we ended this once and for all.
Tell him, Agnes.
Tell him what? Tell him about the note you wrote me.
What note, Orville? "Meet me at Big Rock at 10:00.
"So that I can whisper the secrets of" "my love in your precious ear.
"All my love," BOTH: "Agnes.
" Cat's out of the bag.
Got to go now.
You can't, Bogg.
Not in a crosswind.
Out of the way, boy.
It's suicide.
I'm a voyager, kid.
Sometimes you've gotta bite the bullet.
No! Bogg, don't! No! Come on, move it, horse.
Let's go! (PROMPTING HORSES) I don't know what to say, Wilbur, Orville.
This is not my handwriting.
Well, then who in tarnation Phineas! "Waiting to prove my soaring love.
" Our glider! Will, it's our glider! And it's flying.
AGNES: Phineas! (ALL LAUGHING) It's flying.
Look, look.
Straighten out.
Be careful.
(LAUGHING) WILBUR: Keep your weight down.
AGNES: Be careful, Phineas.
Weight back.
Who the heck is it? Some darn fool.
Weight back, weight back.
Doesn't this thing ever come down? Phineas! I had to ask.
Bogg! He's going down! Bat's breath! JEFFREY: Bogg! Bogg! No, no, Bogg, you can't die.
(GRUNTS) Bogg? Easy, kid, will you? Do you always treat your friends like that? But I saw you crash! I thought Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm glad to see you, too.
Do you mind? Oh, sorry.
Phineas! Phineas! Oh, Phineas! Your soaring love, it was wonderful.
Oh, look at you.
Are you all right? A little worse for wear, darling.
But now I know more than ever that I want to marry you.
Marry me? Yes.
Ever since the first day I saw you, I knew we'd grow old together.
You and me and our 10 children.
Ten children? Why don't you wait for me in the buggy? I'll be right there.
Wilbur, Orville.
Doggone, that was beautiful.
Wilbur and Orville Wright.
Jeffrey Jones, Phineas Bogg.
Howdy.
You know, the problem you had up there was lift.
I was thinking, maybe if we made the elevators a little bit bigger.
Mount the first forward, see? We need to put a man inside, not hanging.
And then we can double up the rudders and stack the wings for more lift.
We'll need a long run, steady wind.
You know, Will, there's this place in North Carolina, Kitty Hawk.
Kitty Hawk, yeah.
(DINGS) Green light, kid.
But we can't leave now, not yet.
Got to.
But they're going to invent the airplane.
We can be there, we could help.
We've helped enough already.
Look, I know it's hard.
I've been there, too.
But whenever you feel this way, you got to think of all the interesting people in front of you, who really need your help.
Heck, we're voyagers, kid.
We got responsibilities.
Besides, don't you wanna see what all this has done? Yeah.
Phineas.
You know, I've really been thinking.
It's about those 10 children.
I really think that I'm just too young to have 10 children.
Phineas? (PLUMMETING) A haystack! Green light? (BEEPING) Still red.
Now where are your planes, kid? We put Orville and Wilbur back on the right track.
They got to be around here somewhere.
I suppose red could mean that something else is wrong.
Oh, we'll find out soon enough.
Run, kid! Right behind you.
Terrific, wonderful.
We get airplanes into the war so they can blow us to bits.
Who was that guy? It was red.
Richthofen.
Richthofen? The guy with Mary? Rickenbacker.
Richthofen is the Red Baron.
Hey, is that Eddie? Mary.
We got to get them out of there.
Eddie, Mary! Who are you? Jeffrey Jones.
That was another war, kid.
I'm Phineas Bogg.
This is Jeff, my son.
We're here to help you.
You okay? That arm looks pretty bad.
EDDIE: I'm alive.
Which is more than I can say for the guys in the escort plane.
MARY: We were on our way to an entertainment troupe on the front lines when the Baron shot us down.
Hit the deck! Why didn't he fire? He wants me.
Top German meets top American.
But you can't go up in one of those.
Not in the two-seater.
He'll cream you.
It's all right, kid.
He's not going to.
Take off your jacket and scarf.
At this distance, he'll never know the difference.
Forget about it, pal.
You're in no shape to take him on.
Not in one of those.
Fly Mary out of here.
We'll take care of the Baron.
It's worth a shot.
You know how to fly one of these things? Did Marie Antoinette have great legs? If you go first, will he wait for me? Yeah, Baron doesn't shoot an unarmed plane.
His code of honor.
He'll never attack.
Good luck, pal.
Well, I don't know who you guys are, but thanks a million.
You know, I get the strangest feeling that we've met somewhere before.
Maybe in another war.
Listen, If you're ever in Hollywood What about Doug? Who's Doug? Good luck.
Hey, why'd you lie to him? You can't fly one of these things.
I didn't lie.
I never lie.
Marie Antoinette had terrible legs.
Climb down, kid.
I'm doing this solo.
Oh, no, you don't.
You go down, I go down.
Forget it.
Who's gonna shoot the gun? No discussion.
That's it.
Get down.
Hey, where is the clutch? The thing doesn't have a clutch.
Smart kids give me a pain.
JEFFREY: Hold on, here we go.
Remember the Maine.
Remember the what? The stick.
The stick? What about the trees? The stick! Pull up on the stick.
Oh, that stick.
We're flying! (GUN FIRING) He's right behind you.
Get him off your tail.
Pull up.
JEFFREY: That's it, we lost him.
We lost him.
JEFFREY: Put the nose down.
We're gonna stall.
We're gonna what? Pull up! Pull up! I can't.
JEFFREY: Then push down.
Where is he now? He's right on our tail.
Shoot him.
Shoot him.
I am.
Try to hit him.
JEFFREY: He's coming right at us! I got him.
I got him! We got him! That's it.
Green light, kid.
We did it.
We did it.
(ENGINE SPUTTERING) We're going to go down, kid.
Hold on, kid.
Hold on.
This will hopefully help me now.
(EXPLOSION) We're alive.
Yeah, we made it.
And Eddie and Mary? BOGG: Green light, kid.
All the way.
You liked her, didn't you? Me? No.
What makes you say that? I don't know.
It's just the way you looked at her.
Sort of mushy.
Not like Agnes.
Yeah, well, forget the way I looked at her.
We're voyagers, kid.
We have no time for romance.
Right, voyagers.
No romance.
Time is our oyster.
Oyster, right.
Quarter to no man.
No man.
And we can do anything, change anything, be anything.
Voyagers.
Voyagers.
(CANNON BOOMING) You hear that? Sounded like a cannon.
Where are we? England.
1066, Pearl Harbor.
That's it.
That's what's wrong.
They didn't have cannons in 1066.
Battle of Hastings.
Battle of what? BOGG: Oh, no.
Bat's breath.
Not again.
JEFFREY: If you want to learn more about the Wright brothers, Eddie Rickenbacker and the early days of flying, take a voyage to your nearest public library.
It's all in books!
No! Hold on.
Let go! Help! MAN: The boy.
Get the boy! Father! Give us a hand, son.
Hurry.
(SCREAMS) Hurry, son.
I can't hold them off much longer.
Father! (WHINING) (DOOR CLOSING) TOM: Just leave him at home.
ELIZABETH: I can't.
You know that.
I don't believe it.
Every time, every time it happens like this.
What do you want me to do? Put him out on the street? Can it, Ralph.
Look, he's my nephew.
He doesn't have anybody else.
I don't care.
I just don't want him to ruin our trip to Cancun.
Look, can't you send him off someplace? Send him off to Yeah, that's right.
Where? You tell me where and I'll do it.
Look, do you think I like being saddled with an 11-year-old kid? Oh, why did Bill and Cathy have to die? (PLUMMETING) (THUDDING) (MAN GRUNTING) (MAN MUTTERING) (RALPH BARKING) (GRUNTING) (BARKING) Smoking bat's breath! Could've killed me.
When did they start building them this high? This isn't 1492.
Where's Columbus, kid? Where am I? (SNARLING) Ralph! He's got my book.
Ralph, let go! Keep your lousy fangs off of me.
Ralph, come on.
Ralph, give it up.
Let go! (JEFFREY SCREAMING) (PLUMMETING) (GRUNTS) Just once I'd like to land on a haystack.
A nice, soft, sweet-smelling haystack.
Are we alive? Alive? Oh, no.
Yeah, we're alive.
What year was that? I got to get you back.
What year? Year.
And don't tell me 1492.
I know for a fact they didn't have buildings like that in 1492.
They do in '82.
(LAUGHS) A joker.
Funny.
We'll try that again 'cause you're a nice kid.
What year? And I'd like to know where we are right now.
Son, I'm not a man known for being patient.
This here Omni's only got circuits to 1970.
The only way I can get you to '82 is if the lousy thing (OMNI BEEPING) Bat's breath! It's losing it again in the automatic mode.
Bat's breath? Do you know how difficult it is to field strip one of these things? Where's my Guidebook? Got to be around here somewhere.
Well, help me, will you? Is it black? Yeah.
Now look.
Can't do a lousy thing without it.
About this big? Right.
Right.
You got it there? No.
Ralph does.
Ralph? My dog.
Dog.
You mean the big, furry thing with all the teeth.
Ralph.
In 1982? (BOGG MUTTERS) Do you know what you've done? History's going to change because you couldn't control your shaggy, little mutt.
Empires are going to fall.
Wars are going to rage.
I'm going to lose my job.
Your job? Who do you think you are? You break into my room.
You knock me out a window.
You bring me here, wherever I am.
You deserve to lose your lousy job! Yeah? Yeah! Smart kids give me a pain.
Hey, where are we going? (CHUCKLES) Where am I going? I'm going to salvage what's left of my job.
You're going to get lost.
I am lost.
(BABY GURGLING) Hey! Hey, what? Is this what you're looking for? JEFFREY: Well, is it? I don't know.
You don't know? If I had my Guidebook, I'd know.
Now, I've just got to guess.
(BEEPING) Check the old Omni.
Nope.
Not it.
Not what? Not right.
Well, if you'd tell me what's going on here, I might be able to help.
Who are you? What are you? What am I? I am a voyager.
You ever hear of one? Of course not.
No one has.
We're the people that are plucked out of time and trained to travel through the ages to help history along.
You know, give it a shove where it's needed.
Problem is, though, you see, there was this blonde in my class, real nice legs and she got a mole right here, and this kind of mysterious way of talking.
Kind of distracted me, you know? Maybe you don't know.
Anyway, I figured I didn't have to pay attention.
The Guidebook tells you what you gotta do.
But your Guidebook Was your fur coat's dinner.
So, here I am.
In Egypt, 1450 B.
C.
And I haven't got the foggiest idea what I'm supposed to do.
(BABY GURGLES) You got an idea, kid? This is Egypt.
Maybe I'm supposed to feed him.
We traveled through time? Got some beef jerky here somewheres.
Moses! What? Hey, be careful with him, will you? He's Moses.
Moses? Moses was an old man with white whiskers.
Looks like Santa Claus with a part in the middle.
What are you doing? Putting him back in the water.
He'll drown.
(SHUSHING) Look.
Moses was found by the pharaoh's daughter, in the Nile.
(DINGS) That's it.
Green light.
How'd you know? My dad was a history professor.
Let me see.
Which one do you press to (PEOPLE YELLING) (PLUMMETING) You little toad.
Don't you ever, ever touch this Oh, no.
(EXCLAIMS) Hey, easy.
It's okay, kid.
They almost ran over us.
That ought to give you a pretty good idea why you'll never touch this Omni again.
What am I saying? Nice to know you, kid.
Sorry for any inconvenience, but I work alone.
Oh, no, you don't.
You got me into this, you're getting me out.
I got school tomorrow.
Can't take you back.
I don't even know where I am.
France, 1918.
The Revolutionary War.
First World War.
What? The First World War.
Right.
(HORSE NEIGHING) (GUN FIRING) Those the good guys? Yeah.
(YELLING) Hold it right there! That thing's dangerous.
Will you put that down before We're the good guys.
Then get us out of here.
Help me with this jacket, will you? Where do you think you're going? To create a little diversion.
Motor Transportation 1A.
When you want it to go Motor Transportation 1A.
The clutch.
Oh, the clutch.
Bat's breath.
Come on, we'd better get inside.
Think he'll come back? He better.
Who is he, anyway? My father.
Oh.
Motor Transportation 1A.
Wanna get off.
Jump! (SPEAKING GERMAN) (OMNI BEEPING) So much for motorcycles.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING) (EXCLAIMING) Bat's breath! Will you stop it? "Bat's breath"? Is that you? No, it's General Eisenhower.
Eisenhower? Wrong war.
Don't they have light in here? Oh, yeah, we found some lamps.
(STAMMERING) Hey, I'm really sorry.
First I try to shoot you, and now this.
We didn't really hurt you or anything, did we? Hurt me? You two? No.
Okay.
Where'd you get the uniform? You don't want to know.
How is he? He's better.
He's still unconscious but your son here was able to stop the bleeding.
My what? It was a clean shoulder wound.
But his fever's coming down.
We were on our way to an entertainers' troupe on the front line when the zeppelins attacked.
There were bombs everywhere.
The corporal here took the only road out, but it put us behind enemy lines.
And here we are.
You know who this is? No, son, but I'm sure you'll introduce us.
This is Mary Murphy.
Mary Murphy, the actress? And this is my father.
Phineas Bogg.
Phineas? Phineas.
Now, it's obvious we've got to get these two back where they belong.
So why don't you stay and watch the corporal for a while, while I go out and look for a truck? I'll go with you.
Not in that, you won't.
Well, how about this? It's perfect.
So instead of stumping for war bonds at home, I decided to come here and boost the boys' morale.
You sure boost mine.
I heard about your wife.
Wife? Jeffrey told me how she died.
Oh, Jeffrey.
You know, I think it's wonderful the way you're bringing him up on your own.
I really haven't done that much.
You're modest.
I love a modest man.
I'm very modest.
Do you ever think about coming to Hollywood? You know, you really remind me of Doug.
Doug? Yeah.
Fairbanks.
The swashbuckler.
Doug.
Listen, could we get back to the modesty part? Is that what we're looking for? Where? Over there.
Perfect.
Now if we can only get those two away from there Kiss me.
No problem.
How could you do this to me? Do you know what this does to me? What are you doing? No! Don't touch me.
I hate you! I hate you! (CRYING) Eddie Rickenbacker? You're the Eddie Rickenbacker? Yeah, sure, I guess.
Corporal Eddie Rickenbacker.
Columbus, Ohio.
Well, what are you doing here? Kid, I was gonna ask you.
But you're the number one ace.
You should be up in the air dogfighting.
Dogfighting? I hate to tell you, but dogs don't fly.
The only thing that's up in the air these days is zeppelins, and the Jerries are taking us to the cleaners with them.
You mean we're losing the war? You better like sauerkraut.
But what about airplanes? You just go up in the air and shoot the zeppelins down.
Aeroplanes? Oh, kid, they can barely get those things off the ground.
That Bleriot guy who invented them keeps landing in the English Channel.
Bleriot? But what about the Wright brothers? Who? Uh-oh! Kid! Where you going? That was my fiancé.
It's so low, what he did to me.
He's terrible, he's awful, he's hideous.
Phineas! Bat's breath.
Halt! The truck.
Hey! (BOGG MUTTERING) What the heck? How does this thing The clutch.
Clutch.
SOLDIER: Stop.
Stop the truck.
Of all the times.
I know what's wrong here.
What's wrong here is you.
Halt.
(GUNS FIRING) Did you see where Mary was when you came running around the side? Got to go back and get her.
There aren't any airplanes.
What? SOLDIER: Stop it.
Stop the truck.
Airplanes! That's what we have to change.
Without airplanes, the Germans are gonna win the war.
The Germans didn't win the war? (TIRES SCREECHING) Hang on, kid, look out.
SOLDIER: Capture them.
Catch them alive.
Someday, somewhere in time, I'm gonna Look, can you set that Omni thing any place in time? You bet, and when I find the guy who invented this contraption Look, forget the truck.
The corporal with Mary is Eddie Rickenbacker.
So? So he was the top US flying ace.
Problem is, there aren't any airplanes around to fly in.
He's never even heard of the Wright brothers.
Yeah, that makes two of us.
Wright brothers? Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, 1903.
Kid, you better be right.
Hang on.
BOGG: Well, thanks for your trouble.
That's another one, kid.
Face it.
No one here has even heard of the Wright brothers.
Red light still blinking? (OMNI BEEPING) Like crazy.
That's because they're not here.
We got to go to Dayton.
Dayton? You foul up our escape, make me leave Mary in the middle of the First World War, dragging me halfway around the world to find a couple of guys who's not even here, and you expect me to take you to Dayton? That's where their bicycle shop is.
No, kid, this is it.
Time to part our ways.
You're in America, same century.
That may be the best I can do.
So why don't we just Can it.
You're stuck with me until you put me back in my room where you got me.
Besides, you don't know anything about history.
You'll mess the whole thing up.
Yeah? And what's this father business, huh? I haven't met a girl like that in 300 years and you tell her you're my son? You know what that could do to my reputation? What about your own father? What would he say? My father's dead.
Yeah, and if he's anything like me, you probably did him in, too.
Just shut up! Hey, Jeff! I'm sorry.
Jeffrey! Come on, man.
(EXCLAIMS) Sorry, man.
No.
No, let me go! Let me go! Easy, Jeff.
No.
Hey, hey, easy.
No, no, no.
Easy, Jeffrey.
No.
Let me go.
(CRYING) Let me go, let me go.
(CRYING) It's gonna be okay, Jeff.
I'm sorry.
We were going camping up north.
I was in the camp reading some comics.
I don't know, Dad must've fallen asleep.
'Cause we ran off the road into some trees.
I was all right.
But Mom and Dad got real smashed up.
I tried to get them out.
But there was this fire.
I went up to the road, to try to get someone to help.
But no one would stop.
I couldn't get anyone to stop.
Don't blame yourself, kid.
Just get some rest.
(SIGHING) Dayton.
(HORN HONKING) (NEIGHING) Will you stop that? I can't help it.
They itch, they're hot.
They make me feel stupid.
It wasn't my idea to come to Dayton.
Well, this is it.
It certainly is.
Good afternoon.
Forget it, Bogg.
She's a blonde.
BOGG: Nice day.
AGNES: It certainly is.
Phineas Bogg.
Agnes Spence.
Come on, Romeo, I found us a job.
It's my nephew.
Oh! WILBUR: You had no business doing it.
ORVILLE: Well, I didn't think I'd have to ask your permission.
Of course not, because you knew what I'd say.
Good morning.
You gents looking for some help? Morning.
Just a minute.
She wanted me to ask her out.
You know that she's my girl, Orville.
Well, this hurts to say, Will.
But Agnes doesn't even like you.
Oh, that's news to me.
In fact, she thinks this whole flying idea of yours is crazy and childish.
Gentlemen, excuse me.
Just one minute, wait a second.
Flying is my idea? Who spent 10 days flying this box kite, huh? Who, huh? Huh? Who spent four sleepless nights designing these wings? Huh? Who worked for a solid month building this model? And you're calling me childish? Childish, childish.
Childish is working six months on a glider that won't fly in a crosswind.
Childish.
Childish is wanting to ride this thing off a big rock cliff.
Mature.
Mature is putting it away before someone gets hurt.
Agnes likes her men mature.
WILBUR: Mature.
Agnes likes her men mature, does she? Well, Wilbur, that's what she told me.
Well, maybe I've matured, too.
Hey, guys, I think this has gone far enough, really Maybe I don't care too much about younger brothers, flying machines or bicycle shops.
Maybe I matured so much that I've had it with this whole kit and caboodle.
You know, I really don't think Agnes would want you two to be arguing like this.
Oh, you ain't got the maturity of a billy goat, Wilbur.
We're finished, you hear that? We're through.
We're through! Agnes? Well, kid, guess we got the job.
JEFFREY: And this whole thing's because of a girl? Because of a girl? Kid, wars have been fought over women.
Some day you'll understand.
But I really wouldn't blame Agnes.
This is a case of three people being confused about what they really want.
Agnes thinks she wants love, when all she really cares about is romance.
Orville and Wilbur think they want Agnes, when all they really care about is flying.
Think this will work? If I read them right.
They see this fly and Agnes is a memory.
How's it look? Terrific.
Let's hear the notes to the boys.
JEFFREY: "Dearest Wilbur, I have so many things to tell you.
"Orville means nothing to me.
Meet me at Big Rock " "Dearest Orville, I have so many things to tell you.
"Wilbur means nothing to me.
"Meet me at Big Rock Creek, this morning at 10:00.
" BOGG: Dearest Agnes, my heart stopped when I saw you outside the shop.
Forget the Wright brothers.
I'll be at Big Rock Creek this morning at 10:00 waiting to prove my soaring love.
Yours forever, Phineas Bogg.
It's a long way down.
Uh-huh.
Think they'll come? They'll come.
Think it'll fly? As long as there isn't a crosswind.
Whoa.
(CLICKING TONGUE) Whoa.
Phineas! Phineas? (WIND HOWLING) JEFFREY: Too windy, Bogg.
Forget it, you can't fly in this.
BOGG: Can you see them? They're almost up to her.
Get that left side down.
Hold it down.
I can't, there's too much wind.
Where are they now? For you, darling.
Sorry my brother had to be so immature as to follow me.
Follow you? I think it's time we ended this once and for all.
Tell him, Agnes.
Tell him what? Tell him about the note you wrote me.
What note, Orville? "Meet me at Big Rock at 10:00.
"So that I can whisper the secrets of" "my love in your precious ear.
"All my love," BOTH: "Agnes.
" Cat's out of the bag.
Got to go now.
You can't, Bogg.
Not in a crosswind.
Out of the way, boy.
It's suicide.
I'm a voyager, kid.
Sometimes you've gotta bite the bullet.
No! Bogg, don't! No! Come on, move it, horse.
Let's go! (PROMPTING HORSES) I don't know what to say, Wilbur, Orville.
This is not my handwriting.
Well, then who in tarnation Phineas! "Waiting to prove my soaring love.
" Our glider! Will, it's our glider! And it's flying.
AGNES: Phineas! (ALL LAUGHING) It's flying.
Look, look.
Straighten out.
Be careful.
(LAUGHING) WILBUR: Keep your weight down.
AGNES: Be careful, Phineas.
Weight back.
Who the heck is it? Some darn fool.
Weight back, weight back.
Doesn't this thing ever come down? Phineas! I had to ask.
Bogg! He's going down! Bat's breath! JEFFREY: Bogg! Bogg! No, no, Bogg, you can't die.
(GRUNTS) Bogg? Easy, kid, will you? Do you always treat your friends like that? But I saw you crash! I thought Yeah, I know.
I know.
I'm glad to see you, too.
Do you mind? Oh, sorry.
Phineas! Phineas! Oh, Phineas! Your soaring love, it was wonderful.
Oh, look at you.
Are you all right? A little worse for wear, darling.
But now I know more than ever that I want to marry you.
Marry me? Yes.
Ever since the first day I saw you, I knew we'd grow old together.
You and me and our 10 children.
Ten children? Why don't you wait for me in the buggy? I'll be right there.
Wilbur, Orville.
Doggone, that was beautiful.
Wilbur and Orville Wright.
Jeffrey Jones, Phineas Bogg.
Howdy.
You know, the problem you had up there was lift.
I was thinking, maybe if we made the elevators a little bit bigger.
Mount the first forward, see? We need to put a man inside, not hanging.
And then we can double up the rudders and stack the wings for more lift.
We'll need a long run, steady wind.
You know, Will, there's this place in North Carolina, Kitty Hawk.
Kitty Hawk, yeah.
(DINGS) Green light, kid.
But we can't leave now, not yet.
Got to.
But they're going to invent the airplane.
We can be there, we could help.
We've helped enough already.
Look, I know it's hard.
I've been there, too.
But whenever you feel this way, you got to think of all the interesting people in front of you, who really need your help.
Heck, we're voyagers, kid.
We got responsibilities.
Besides, don't you wanna see what all this has done? Yeah.
Phineas.
You know, I've really been thinking.
It's about those 10 children.
I really think that I'm just too young to have 10 children.
Phineas? (PLUMMETING) A haystack! Green light? (BEEPING) Still red.
Now where are your planes, kid? We put Orville and Wilbur back on the right track.
They got to be around here somewhere.
I suppose red could mean that something else is wrong.
Oh, we'll find out soon enough.
Run, kid! Right behind you.
Terrific, wonderful.
We get airplanes into the war so they can blow us to bits.
Who was that guy? It was red.
Richthofen.
Richthofen? The guy with Mary? Rickenbacker.
Richthofen is the Red Baron.
Hey, is that Eddie? Mary.
We got to get them out of there.
Eddie, Mary! Who are you? Jeffrey Jones.
That was another war, kid.
I'm Phineas Bogg.
This is Jeff, my son.
We're here to help you.
You okay? That arm looks pretty bad.
EDDIE: I'm alive.
Which is more than I can say for the guys in the escort plane.
MARY: We were on our way to an entertainment troupe on the front lines when the Baron shot us down.
Hit the deck! Why didn't he fire? He wants me.
Top German meets top American.
But you can't go up in one of those.
Not in the two-seater.
He'll cream you.
It's all right, kid.
He's not going to.
Take off your jacket and scarf.
At this distance, he'll never know the difference.
Forget about it, pal.
You're in no shape to take him on.
Not in one of those.
Fly Mary out of here.
We'll take care of the Baron.
It's worth a shot.
You know how to fly one of these things? Did Marie Antoinette have great legs? If you go first, will he wait for me? Yeah, Baron doesn't shoot an unarmed plane.
His code of honor.
He'll never attack.
Good luck, pal.
Well, I don't know who you guys are, but thanks a million.
You know, I get the strangest feeling that we've met somewhere before.
Maybe in another war.
Listen, If you're ever in Hollywood What about Doug? Who's Doug? Good luck.
Hey, why'd you lie to him? You can't fly one of these things.
I didn't lie.
I never lie.
Marie Antoinette had terrible legs.
Climb down, kid.
I'm doing this solo.
Oh, no, you don't.
You go down, I go down.
Forget it.
Who's gonna shoot the gun? No discussion.
That's it.
Get down.
Hey, where is the clutch? The thing doesn't have a clutch.
Smart kids give me a pain.
JEFFREY: Hold on, here we go.
Remember the Maine.
Remember the what? The stick.
The stick? What about the trees? The stick! Pull up on the stick.
Oh, that stick.
We're flying! (GUN FIRING) He's right behind you.
Get him off your tail.
Pull up.
JEFFREY: That's it, we lost him.
We lost him.
JEFFREY: Put the nose down.
We're gonna stall.
We're gonna what? Pull up! Pull up! I can't.
JEFFREY: Then push down.
Where is he now? He's right on our tail.
Shoot him.
Shoot him.
I am.
Try to hit him.
JEFFREY: He's coming right at us! I got him.
I got him! We got him! That's it.
Green light, kid.
We did it.
We did it.
(ENGINE SPUTTERING) We're going to go down, kid.
Hold on, kid.
Hold on.
This will hopefully help me now.
(EXPLOSION) We're alive.
Yeah, we made it.
And Eddie and Mary? BOGG: Green light, kid.
All the way.
You liked her, didn't you? Me? No.
What makes you say that? I don't know.
It's just the way you looked at her.
Sort of mushy.
Not like Agnes.
Yeah, well, forget the way I looked at her.
We're voyagers, kid.
We have no time for romance.
Right, voyagers.
No romance.
Time is our oyster.
Oyster, right.
Quarter to no man.
No man.
And we can do anything, change anything, be anything.
Voyagers.
Voyagers.
(CANNON BOOMING) You hear that? Sounded like a cannon.
Where are we? England.
1066, Pearl Harbor.
That's it.
That's what's wrong.
They didn't have cannons in 1066.
Battle of Hastings.
Battle of what? BOGG: Oh, no.
Bat's breath.
Not again.
JEFFREY: If you want to learn more about the Wright brothers, Eddie Rickenbacker and the early days of flying, take a voyage to your nearest public library.
It's all in books!