Wakefield (2021) s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
1
(TAPPING)
(MAN GASPS)
MAN: No, Clive, I completely
understand what you're saying,
but the market
cannot keep contracting forever.
It is gonna bounce,
and you know it's gonna bounce.
And when it does, the equity goes
from 8% to 12.5%, 15%.
No questions. You know it.
MAN: Fat fuckin' head's
right in front of me!
I'm sorry. I'm in New York.
It's full of bloody lunatics.
Yes.
Yes, no, what I'm trying to do
is maximise an asset
in a fluid and dynamic market.
(LAUGHTER)
MAN: No-one laughs like that.
Gentlemen
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
..I I have to call you back.
MAN 2:
Risible, divisible, invisible.
If you're invisible,
how come we can all fuckin' see you?
Hey?
Shut up! Shut up!
Touched you. Huh? See?
Hand doesn't go through!
Bar's open, guys.
The usual, sir?
James, phone, please.
This isn't gonna work.
(PHONE CLATTERS)
I'm this close to securing
a major business deal,
and I can't do it
in a place like this.
MAN: He fuckin' scratched
my Jimi Hendrix!
Well, Jimi Hendrix is no mutant.
(LAUGHS) Boxing match? Boxing match?
MAN 2: Trevor.
I'll have that.
You're a dead man! Touch it again,
I'll rip your fuckin' head off!
Let's go kick a ball out here.
Come on.
MAN 2: Back.
(MEN CHEER AND LAUGH)
Sorry. Uh, you were saying?
Yeah.
I'm one Skype meeting away, and
we're talking a huge investment here.
Millions in.
So, what do you need? Your computer?
Yeah.
Hey! Hey!
I'm guest coach for my nephew's team
on Wednesday night.
MAN 2: Sean?
Yeah. Seanie.
You got your day leave?
Yeah.
15 of the little shits.
Want to join me?
Oh! Sorry, mate.
I've got tickets to a concert.
(LAUGHS) Better not be that U2 gig,
bro, or I'll have to bash ya.
Just joking.
I need my laptop and an office.
Preferably somewhere
with a bit of privacy.
Linda's your go-to on that.
Thank you very much.
(TREVOR LAUGHS)
I'm sorry, James.
All our offices are in use.
Oh, it doesn't have to be an office.
It could just be a room.
Without padding.
He gets a room, so do I.
You have a room, don't you?
Oh, yes, I have a room.
But I am sharing it with this guy.
I'd love to help, James,
but I'm afraid it's a no can do.
Linda. Listen.
I know that you're responsible
for the employment
of a whole lot of people here,
and I understand, of all people,
how serious that responsibility is.
I'm responsible for the welfare
of many, many people.
TREVOR: I've got people.
And I have to secure
a very important business deal
and I need
a very quiet space to do it in.
I don't see your name on a lot
of the lists for group attendance.
Why don't you give mindfulness
and depression meditation a go?
Starts in 10 minutes.
I'll tell you what.
Linda, you give me a room
and I'll do the groups.
Deal?
I'll tell YOU what.
When you attend groups,
then we'll see what's possible.
(EXHALES)
I want you to take whatever it is -
it could be a thought,
could be an unpleasant feeling -
and just pop it on a cloud.
Oh, that's it. Yeah. Yeah.
Just pop it on a cloud.
And observe the cloud
as it carries it away.
Ohh!
(SIGHS)
LINDA: Jacinta resigned
this morning without notice.
MAN: Right, and I'm sure
the compo claim you shafted her on
had nothing to do with that.
LINDA: I'd do the shift myself
if I could, but, as you know,
I have other responsibilities.
MAN: OK, come on.
Let's go downstairs.
I love that meditation.
I feel so much better.
Now, about that room.
One activity won't do it,
I'm afraid.
Excuse me?
JAMES: Mmm.
Oh!
What are you doing?
Just checking
you haven't topped yourself.
Stop it!
Oh! I'll fuckin' top YOU, man!
MAN: Alright. Night-night, boys.
(DOOR CLOSES)
WOMAN: I can't sleep thanks to you
and your fucking torch!
Hey, language.
Just go have a cup of tea.
(GROANS)
Go, go!
James!
What's the British pound doing?
Oh. Give me my phone
and I'll gladly let you know.
I'm gonna need that room.
Did you talk to Linda?
Oh, yes.
That woman's a human handbrake.
There is always one, isn't there?
Can we work around her?
(SIGHS)
Come and see me in the morning.
OK. Got to get out of here.
I'll end up like her.
(BABY CRIES)
WOMAN: Oh, shut that up!
I'm trying to fucking sleep!
(DOOR SLAMS)
OK, mate. Give me 10 minutes.
I'm just heading into the office now.
Rightio.
TREVOR: Fuck, yeah!
Oh, come on, come on!
This is on the quiet, OK?
Of course. Thank you.
(UNLOCKS DOOR)
And it's not exactly an office.
Wait! You're giving him an office?
Well, I'm the one
trying to run a business, mate.
I've got business.
Where's MY office?
Shut up! Listen to me.
I'll give you access to my computer
if you keep this on the quiet. Deal?
15 minutes, locked door,
no interruptions.
I think what's important is that we
hammer out proposals three and four.
Are you looking at those? Exac
Hey.
(PROGRAM BLEEPS)
Huh. Teddy.
Dad.
What are you doing here?
How did you get in?
The nurse let me in.
What are YOU doing here?
I'm trying to have a Skype meeting
in a broom cupboard.
No, Dad, what are you doing HERE?
I'm, uh
..just having some time out,
that's all.
In a psych ward?
It's your mum.
You know what she's like.
She overreacted.
But it's the
..it's the only way she'll be sure
that I get some rest.
Did you try and kill yourself?
What?!
No! God, no.
You know I'd never do that.
Why'd I hear her tell Nan you did?
Because something happened
and now everyone's upset.
You overdosed.
What was it, ice?
No.
Coke? Heroin?
(LAUGHS)
Nothing like that.
It's
The doctor gave me
some prescriptions.
And
..I mixed them up a bit.
And I mixed them with the wrong
things, and it was just an accident.
Then why are you here?
It's your mum.
She
..wants me to do three weeks or else.
But it's not gonna be three weeks.
Be one, max. Just you watch.
Or else what?
Oh, you you look worried.
You don't need to be worried.
Don't be worried.
Everything's gonna be alright, mate.
Everything's gonna be alright.
Do what Mum says and
..stay the three weeks.
OK?
Deal?
A deal, mate.
It's a deal.
Hello, gents? Gents, have I got ya?
(PROGRAM BEEPS)
Oh, shit.
Come on!
TREVOR: Oi!
Where's my computer access, man?
You will get your computer access
after I have finished this meeting.
Thank you very much.
(PRESSES KEYS) Hello? Have I got ya?
TREVOR: Hey!
(PROGRAM BEEPS)
We had a deal! Alright.
Shit.
Don't flake out on me, man.
Come on!
Hey! Come on.
(SIGHS)
Hey! Hello?
Will you shut up?
Oi!
Will you shut up?!
(YELLS)
Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
(YELLS)
Crazy fuckin' psycho.
(PANTS)
WOMAN: Shut the fuck up!
(SIRENS HOWL)
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
I'm gonna have to hit you up
for that room again.
One more meeting, this deal is done.
Mmm.
Not sure your laptop's in any state
for a Skype meeting, is it?
Oh, I can use my phone.
It'll be 10 minutes, max.
How long do you reckon
you can keep this up?
Well, I came here on the condition
that I could stay in contact
with my partners.
Who are in London
working on a property deal for you
with no idea where you are.
Yes, but they don't need
to know that, do they?
And I can't have them thinking
that I'm, uh
..well, you know.
Like that?
Yeah.
Let me ask you a question.
If you're not like that,
then why are you here?
You should speak to my wife
about that.
(LAUGHS) I'm asking you.
Let me ask YOU a question.
Why are your balls
in Linda's handbag?
You're the go-to man here.
I can see clearly
that YOU should be running the joint.
We're talking about YOU.
Are we?
We're both the same. We're both
ambitious, both want success.
Difference is,
I'm not letting anyone get in my way.
You're all about deals, James.
I'll do YOU a deal.
You help Tessa with her puzzle,
I'll help you get what you need.
Alright.
Alright.
I'm, uh
..not really a puzzle kind of person.
I'm, uh
..not really
a wanker kind of person.
I read somewhere that you should,
uh, start at the corners.
Mmm. Good luck with that.
The puzzle's round.
(CRUNCHES)
So, guys,
I think that's the last point.
Great.
How soon can you get to London?
You don't need me there, do you?
Uh, we've worked too hard on this
not to lock it down in person.
So we'll see you here
next Friday, yes?
Yep.
Yep. Clubs of Soho await.
Excellent. See you then.
See you, mate.
WOMAN: "'But I don't want to go
among mad people, ' Alice remarked.
"'Oh, you can't help that, '
said the Cat."
MAN: "'We're all mad here.
I'm mad. You're mad.'"
Thank you.
Oh! My God, they're beautiful.
(LAUGHS)
It's so wonderful
seeing you do so much better.
Ooh! Don't do hugs.
Linda, just a hug.
You've been so good to me.
It's all part of the job.
Tomorrow, is it?
Well done.
(BABY FUSSES)
WOMAN: Shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shh!
Shh! Shh!
Hey. You all good?
How about you give her a bath?
Oh! (SIGHS)
Come on. Let's do it.
(WATER TRICKLES)
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear at this moment
You mean everything ♪
How you going?
Oh, God! Oh, God, Nik.
I just got water in her eyes.
It's alright. It's alright.
It's just a splash. She's fine.
Nik.
So are you.
Can you just take her?
No. Ivy. You can do this.
Nik, I need you to take her.
(BABY FUSSES)
(SIGHS)
Whoo!
Take off that dress
Oh, my thoughts, I confess
Oh, come on, now ♪
(SIGHS)
Ivy.
We don't I don't think
you're ready to leave.
What?!
Yet. Yet.
(GROANS)
You will be.
Yeah, you will be one day, but right
now, you're still very, very unwell.
(IVY PANTS)
WOMAN: It's it's OK.
It's totally normal, and
Her anxiety levels are skyrocketing.
Brilliant observation, Cath.
Um, only problem,
you're not a doctor or a nurse.
Your qualifications in psychiatric
medicine are, in fact, zero.
But, you know,
you're a great patient.
We are I am cataloguing
her problems in alphabetical order.
Well, that'll make
all the difference.
Bye, Cath.
(SOBS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Mmm.
Hey.
Open your eyes.
You're OK.
You just panicked.
Hey.
Come on. It's alright.
Are they tap shoes Grace is wearing?
IVY: Yeah.
I learned tap as a kid.
Yeah. That was my dad's reaction.
"Little black Indian boys
don't tap-dance."
Tell that to my feet.
There you go.
Look. She'll be asleep soon.
(LAUGHS)
(SINGS ALONG TO COME ON EILEEN)
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye
I'll hum this song forevermore
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear
At this moment
You mean everything
You mean everything ♪
Just stop. Please.
Sorry. It's stuck.
I'm fine with it. Love that song.
Wouldn't even sing it to Linda.
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
If you're after meds, that's fine.
If you're after a chat, forget it.
I've got too much paperwork.
(BABY FUSSES)
(PANTS)
(BABY CRIES)
(PANTS)
(MOANS)
(HEARTBEAT THUDS)
(BABY CRIES)
Ivy! Thank God.
How'd you get out here?
I hate her.
It's the crying.
You can't deal with the crying.
I'm allergic to her.
Slow down. What's this about, huh?
(MOANS)
Is it about the bath?
No. (PANTS)
What Cath said?
No, no, no, no.
(PANTS) No, no, no.
It was earlier, when
when I went to buy the flowers.
I I know that it's not real.
I I know that it's
just a stupid thought, but
You got a smoke?
Uh no.
Got some spare change or anything?
No, no, it's
Fuckin' scab.
(SCREAMS)
(PANTS)
She didn't cut you.
WOMAN: You got a smoke?
IVY: Uh, no.
You got some spare change
or anything?
No, sorry.
Maybe you wish she had.
Then you'd have a wound,
something physical people could see.
I I can't get it out of my head!
I I know it's not real!
I know it's not real, but it
Hey. We all have scary thoughts.
The thing is
..not to let them control you.
And you didn't.
You bought the flowers and you
came back and you gave them to us.
That's how we know
you're getting better.
Yes, mate.
I'll give you a call in 10 minutes.
I'm just heading
into the office now.
Rightio.
TREVOR: Fuck, yeah!
Oh, come on, come on!
This is on the quiet.
Of course. Thank you.
(UNLOCKS DOOR)
And it's not exactly an office.
Wait! You're giving him an office?
Well, I'm the one
trying to run a business, mate.
TREVOR: I've got business!
Where's MY office?
JAMES: Shut up! Listen to me.
I'll give you access to my computer
if you keep this
Nik. Cath's right.
I I'm not ready.
No, she's not. Hey.
The doctors say you're ready.
I think you're ready.
But how do you know?
You can do this.
No, I can't.
When you first came here,
you couldn't even touch Saskia.
(SOBS)
But for the last fortnight,
you've been caring for her yourself.
(SOBS)
I can't. I can't do this.
I can't do this, Nik.
You can't what?
I I I can't be normal.
What's normal?
(SOBS)
Normal is being able
to look after your own children.
I can't do that.
Yes, you can.
No.
You are.
(SOBS)
Nik, I I can't even cope in here.
I so how am I supposed
to cope with with a
..with a 2-year-old
and a and a house and a job
and and and and
Other women look after their babies.
What's wrong with me?
You've been really ill.
But
..you're getting better.
Hm?
It takes time.
Hey.
(SIGHS AND SNIFFS) Sorry.
Delaying her exit date's
only gonna set her back.
Well, so is pushing her out the door
before she's ready.
She's ready. You said it yourself.
What happened last night?
The reality of leaving hit her
and she panicked.
It's all in the incident report.
(ALERT CHIMES)
(BEEPING)
She's ready enough.
The rest of her recovery
needs to be done at home.
I'm just a little reluctant
to take that risk.
(SIGHS)
Are you gonna do this
every time you lose a patient?
I'm the doctor. It's my call.
Well, Doctor
..just don't make the wrong call.
Happy birthday, by the way.
Keep it to yourself.
Ivy?
This is for you.
What is it?
A moon boot.
It's a wound people can see.
Here.
Wear it when you take Saskia out.
I mean, how about this afternoon?
Take her to the shops.
But there's nothing wrong
with my foot.
No, but if anyone asks about it,
I want you to imagine
they're talking about the part of you
that still feels broken.
You're mad.
Mmm. I'm mad. You're mad.
We're all mad.
Said the Cat.
Oh. Let me help you.
Thank you.
Poor thing.
What happened to your foot?
I broke it.
Oh. And you've got the baby
to look after. That's full-on.
Yeah.
Thanks.
TREVOR: No! No. No!
He can't have any
until he admits he's not invisible.
You see? How do you think she knows
you're fuckin' there?
How'd you go?
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(BABY FUSSES)
Too-ra-loo-ra,
too-ra-loo-rye, aye ♪
I've got hold music in here.
There's hold music out there.
Just shut up with the song, alright?
Sorry, it's stuck. I blame Trevor.
Jake. Uh, Nik Katira here
from Wakefield.
Just letting you know
Ivy will be discharged as planned.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She's ready.
IVY: This is it.
Feet walking out the door.
I can do this.
Course you can.
Mummy.
Mmm?
Mummy.
Yeah?
How come she gets to leave?
She's a fucking basket case!
Trevor!
(TREVOR LAUGHS)
(COINS CLINK)
Another day older
Wouldn't change it if I could
But it's not really easy
I've got that understood
Most often, things are harder
Than I think they should be
Come on, Eileen ♪
(TRAIN HORN HONKS)
Oh, I swear ♪
(CROSSING BELL DINGS)
At this moment ♪
(HORN HONKS)
You mean everything ♪
(CROSSING BELL DINGS)
(SCREAMING)
Ivy! No!
(SPRINKLERS SPRAY)
Linda? You've got me working
Wednesday night.
Yeah. Sorry about that.
You know
I've got tickets to a concert?
Marie's still on compassionate leave,
Collette's got
a Love Your Vagina workshop,
and I couldn't find anyone else
to do the shift.
So
This this is deliberate.
I'm really disappointed
you see it that way, Nik,
because I spent hours
trying to accommodate your concert.
Who was on that shift a month ago
when you did the roster?
Let's try and take the heat
out of the conversation, shall we?
Jacinta?
Jacinta resigned this morning
without notice.
Right!
And I'm sure
the compo claim you shafted her on
had nothing to do with that.
I'd do the shift myself if I could.
But, as you know,
I have other responsibilities.
Mmm. OK.
NIK: OK. Come on.
Let's go downstairs.
I love that meditation.
I feel so much better.
Now, about that room.
One activity won't do it, I'm afraid.
Excuse me?
Another sip.
Come on.
That's it.
That's it.
You're my favourite.
Linda, I was thinking about
what you said to Ivy,
about, uh, not doing hugs.
Maybe you spend so much time
looking after your daughter
that you can't allow Linda
to be touched or cared for.
Collette.
No, really.
People who look after
relatives with a disability,
they often have this problem.
I don't have a problem. I'm fine.
But I don't like flowers either,
so
You don't like flowers?
Oh, my God. Why not?
They die.
Linda!
(SIGHS)
Carers need care too.
Oh!
Have you had a chance
to look at this pamphlet?
I think it would be
very good for you.
I'm not interested
in your nude workshops.
I don't run the workshops, Linda,
and to clarify,
clothing is optional.
OK.
Why do people get so hung up
on that part of it?
It's about intimacy.
(ALERT CHIMES)
But I've only been in the job
six months.
Acting in the job.
I've been hitting
all my key performance indicators.
Costs are down.
Which is very impressive.
So, is there really a need
to advertise the position?
Unfortunately, yes.
It's part of the process.
No.
I know. I I shouldn't
have bothered you.
It's a bit stressful, that's all,
what, with my situation at home
the way it is.
And we're very sympathetic to that,
as you know.
Yes, because I rely on the extra
..on that money,
for her care, is all.
Look, I wouldn't worry.
Provided you've got
a good rapport with your staff,
the chances of you making this
position permanent are very good.
Oh.
Oh, hey.
Did you hear the good news?
Linda's job's been advertised.
You should go for it.
No, thanks.
Why not? You're already
doing half her job anyway.
Yeah, go on.
No. I don't want it.
I'm happy at the coalface.
By the way, this is not funny.
(LAUGHS)
It's not.
It kind of is.
Sorry, but award-winning
Bichon Frise are not a joke.
Mate
..I have nothing but respect.
We love Armando and Consuela.
I love 'em as well.
I just want to know who did this.
NIK: Mmm.
(MOUTHS)
(LAUGHS AND CRUNCHES)
Too-ra-loo-ra,
too-ra-loo-rye, aye ♪
Oh, you keep singing that song,
one of us isn't gonna make it
out of here.
Two tickets to U2. Sold.
Oust Linda. Come on!
Will you stop?
You want my dogs to go hungry?
'Cause if you don't step up
and take Linda's job,
I'm gonna bloody go to jail
for killing her!
(LAUGHS)
And, like, my dogs won't get fed.
Forget it.
OK.
Well, don't complain when,
you know, she changes a roster
and you can't go
to your friggin' precious concert.
Hey.
I need Valium.
OK. Uh, look you know
what the doctor said. Just
No, I can't sleep thanks to you
and your fucking torch!
Hey, language.
Just go have a cup of tea.
Oh!
Just go. Go.
(INDISTINCT VOICES ON RADIO)
(INDICATOR CLICKS)
Come on!
(HORN HONKS)
Finally!
Watch it, watch it! Watch it!
(TYRES SCREECH)
LINDA: Hey!
(HONKS HORN)
Hello?
Are you blind?
Are you deaf?
MAN: (ON RADIO) We have solutions.
(TYRES SCREECH)
(INDICATOR STOPS)
(HANDBRAKE CLICKS)
(INDICATOR CLICKS)
(INDICATOR CLICKS)
(SIGHS)
Oh!
Fuck!
(GRUNTS) Fucking prick!
(GRUNTS)
Brought in a little something
to celebrate Kareena's birthday.
See what I mean?
Who's looking after Linda?
I don't even know
when your birthday is.
Oh. And good news for you, Nik.
I juggled a few things at home
to do your shift, so
..you can go to your concert.
It's too late. I sold the tickets.
Well, make yourselves a cuppa
and I'll be back for the handover.
Just gonna say hello
to the birthday girl. (LAUGHS)
Hello!
Hello.
A little birdie told me
it's a special day for you.
Oh!
There's cake.
I've got back-to-back patients. I
I won't have time. Thanks, Linda.
Looking good today, Dr Wells.
Why don't I get the hot doctor?
(DOOR CLOSES)
I hate birthdays.
(LAUGHS)
OK. Want to keep this?
You want candles?
No.
Linda!
I know you don't like hugs,
but you're getting one.
Oh! That's better, isn't it? Hm?
And here's one for later. Oh!
Oh!
Alright. Who wants cake?
Hm?
Just a minute, mate.
Everyone can see you.
Yep, you take one.
And here we go. No fingers.
Alright. Alright.
No!
No. No!
Oh, come on, Trevor.
We can't have any
until he admits he's not invisible.
Trevor!
You see? How do you think she knows
you're fuckin' there?
How'd you go?
(LAUGHS) Yes!
Did you, uh
Oh. Zelco's called the cops again.
I'll get it.
No, it's alright. I've got it.
I've got it.
Alright!
Can I help you?
Yeah, we're here to see
a Ms Linda Crowley.
Oh, um, oh.
I just remembered, Pete,
Omar spat out his meds.
Yeah. That's alright.
Could you
Oh.
..please?
Oh. OK.
Thank you.
I'm Linda Crowley,
nursing unit manager.
You the owner
of a green Mitsubishi Lancer,
registration number EYH-3SA?
I am.
There was an incident at
a supermarket car park this morning.
Um
..why don't we just step outside?
(GRUNTS)
TREVOR: (IN DISTANCE)
At this moment
You mean everything
Take off that dress
Oh, my thoughts, I confess ♪
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
(COME ON EILEEN
BY DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS PLAYS)
Now I must say more than ever
Come on, Eileen
Too-ra-loo-ra
Too-ra-loo-rye, aye
Eileen,
I'll hum this tune forever, oh
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear
What he means
Ah, come on
Let's take off everything ♪
(BABY CRIES)
Ivy!
Ivy!
Ivy! (PANTS)
(SHOES TAP)
(PANTS)
Ivy!
(SCREAMS AND PANTS)
Look at that.
We're nothing within all of this.
TREVOR: Nik! I'm not here.
(SIGHS) Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear ♪
OK. I'm over that song now too.
You try doing
a bloody double shift with him.
You mean everything ♪
Try being in my head.
Do you know it's
an actual condition? I looked it up.
It's called an earworm.
And
..you know how you get over it,
is you sing another song
over the top.
Brought in a little something
to celebrate Kareena's birthday.
COLLETTE: See what I mean?
Who's looking after Linda?
DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS:
These people round here
Wear beaten-down,
eyes sunk in smoke-dried face
So resigned to what their fate is
But not us
No, never
No, not us
No, never!
We are far too
young and clever ♪
(FAN WHIRRS)
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye
Too-ra-too-ra
Eileen,
I'll hum this tune forever, oh
Eileen, I'll hum this tune
forever, oh ♪
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
Ooh! Ooh!
(SINGS ALONG) Night wolf
Running through the night
Night wolf
With eyes alight
Wild and dangerous,
proud amongst us
SINGER:
You better run for your life! ♪
Ah!
Night wolf ♪
(SONG CONTINUES OVER HEADPHONES)
What are you doing?
Trying to get a song out of my head.
You don't answer my texts.
You don't answer the door.
You alright?
No.
First you sell our tickets to U2.
I offered them to you.
Then guess who doesn't want
to come back for the wedding
'cause she thinks everyone'll
be forced to embrace Jesus.
Can't blame her there. Why don't you
do us all a favour and just elope?
I don't want to elope. I want to
look hot in my wedding sari.
And I want everyone to see me
looking hot IN my wedding sari.
But do you need it to be
a full-on Hindu affair?
I mean, you're only
provoking the situation.
It's not Hindu, OK?
It's a fusion wedding.
And it means a lot
to Kiran's parents.
OK, OK. Calm down.
Dad told me
Kareena's working at the hospital.
Has been for six months.
That's too weird.
Why?
Because you were engaged to her
She took a promotion.
..and now she's your boss.
(SCOFFS) She's not my boss.
It's weird.
I don't care what you say.
You want some food?
Mm-hm.
(SIZZLING)
None of Kiran's mates
have heard from you.
Have you forgotten
you're the best man?
Look, I'll do it,
but I don't need you
to micromanage me.
Yes, you do.
Here's a list of duties.
Do you want this back?
Shouldn't you be wearing it?
In theory.
But my leg was better
and I'm sick of everyone
treating me like an invalid.
I'm over it.
Ivy?
This is for you.
(SIGHS)
PETE: Waste of time.
What?
Puzzles.
If she's not allowed sleeping meds,
she needs something to focus on.
Yeah, you get
what I'm saying, though?
You get a perfectly good picture,
you break it into a thousand pieces,
you put it back together again.
I mean, where's the point in that?
Where's the point in anything
if you look at it that way?
I don't think there is one.
(SIGHS)
Omar? Brought you some breakfast.
(SIGHS)
Can't tempt you?
You know,
hipsters would kill for this.
(VOICES MURMUR)
Rohan.
Dr Achebe.
Um, Trevor's leave form
for you to sign.
Yep. I want to discuss it
with Dr Wells first.
Why?
'Cause I'm reconsidering
whether to grant him leave.
He's been quite volatile -
the incident with the guitar.
He's really looking forward to it.
I want to discuss it
with Dr Wells first.
Just to be clear, though,
if you do cancel his leave,
he's gonna be very upset,
so it needs to be carefully managed.
I'll bear that in mind.
Yeah.
TREVOR: No, you guys are fucked!
Where's Nik?
Let's talk about it. We can
You're all fucked!
We'll just OK.
What's the problem?
Problem is you're all fucked!
OK. Alright. We're fucked.
So, what can we do
Hey! You! Hey! Trev
Come on, settle down!
Settle down. Just, Trev
No, put it down. Put it down!
I'm gonna smash this through
your skull! Do you understand?
PEOPLE: Whoa!
(TREVOR PANTS)
Trevor.
Catch.
Back.
(PANTS)
Again.
Just fuck off!
Single words. Go. Problem.
(PANTS)
Leave!
Cancelled?
Yes!
Feeling?
Fucked!
NIK: And?
Kill.
And?
(PANTS)
Hurt.
And?
Hate!
And?
(PANTS)
They took my leave away, man!
I promised Seanie
I'd take his training.
One word.
They can't do this to him, man.
I promised!
I promised him, you know.
(PANTS)
Kids don't forget.
(PANTS)
He'll be he
He'll be what?
Sean will be what?
(PANTS)
One word.
(GASPS)
Pissed off!
That's two.
(PANTS)
Disappointed.
What else?
Sad.
(SOBS)
Pete. Clean up, eh?
(SOBS)
Gold stars all round for you,
Nicholas.
Nikhil.
Oh. I knew that. Sorry.
Anyway. Point is, well done you
for de-escalating Trevor.
Well, I wouldn't have to
if nobs like Rohan didn't drop a bomb
then bugger off
before the explosion hits.
Mmm. Couldn't agree more.
I'll have a chat with him.
Oh, and well done
for getting Ivy out too.
Free bed's a good bed, isn't it?
What's this?
Your application.
Please, Nik. You're
the sanest person in this place.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SIGHS)
I have a job application.
BUSKER: I've got that understood
Most often, things are harder
than I think they should be
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear
At this moment
You mean everything ♪
(TRAIN HORN HONKS)
(CROSSING BELL DINGS)
(SCREAMING)
Ivy! No!
(WIND GUSTS)
DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS:
Come on, Eileen
Too-loo-rye-aye
Come on ♪
(SHOES TAP)
Eileen
Too-loo-rye-aye
Now you're all grown
Now you have shown
Oh, Eileen
Say
Come on, Eileen
These things, they are real
Too-loo-rye-aye
I know how you feel
Eileen
Too-loo-rye-aye
Now I must say more than ever
Things round here have changed
I say
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye
Too-loo-ra, too-loo-ra, too-loo-ra
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear
What he means
At this moment
You mean everything
Everything
You in that dress
My thoughts, I confess
Well, they're dirty
Oh, come on, Eileen ♪
(CROSSING BELL DINGS)
BUSKER:
It's easier said than done
This life
A dance with death ♪
(TRAIN APPROACHES)
NIK: We all have scary thoughts.
The thing is
..not to let them control you.
(GASPS)
(SHOES TAP)
(TAPPING)
(MAN GASPS)
MAN: No, Clive, I completely
understand what you're saying,
but the market
cannot keep contracting forever.
It is gonna bounce,
and you know it's gonna bounce.
And when it does, the equity goes
from 8% to 12.5%, 15%.
No questions. You know it.
MAN: Fat fuckin' head's
right in front of me!
I'm sorry. I'm in New York.
It's full of bloody lunatics.
Yes.
Yes, no, what I'm trying to do
is maximise an asset
in a fluid and dynamic market.
(LAUGHTER)
MAN: No-one laughs like that.
Gentlemen
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
..I I have to call you back.
MAN 2:
Risible, divisible, invisible.
If you're invisible,
how come we can all fuckin' see you?
Hey?
Shut up! Shut up!
Touched you. Huh? See?
Hand doesn't go through!
Bar's open, guys.
The usual, sir?
James, phone, please.
This isn't gonna work.
(PHONE CLATTERS)
I'm this close to securing
a major business deal,
and I can't do it
in a place like this.
MAN: He fuckin' scratched
my Jimi Hendrix!
Well, Jimi Hendrix is no mutant.
(LAUGHS) Boxing match? Boxing match?
MAN 2: Trevor.
I'll have that.
You're a dead man! Touch it again,
I'll rip your fuckin' head off!
Let's go kick a ball out here.
Come on.
MAN 2: Back.
(MEN CHEER AND LAUGH)
Sorry. Uh, you were saying?
Yeah.
I'm one Skype meeting away, and
we're talking a huge investment here.
Millions in.
So, what do you need? Your computer?
Yeah.
Hey! Hey!
I'm guest coach for my nephew's team
on Wednesday night.
MAN 2: Sean?
Yeah. Seanie.
You got your day leave?
Yeah.
15 of the little shits.
Want to join me?
Oh! Sorry, mate.
I've got tickets to a concert.
(LAUGHS) Better not be that U2 gig,
bro, or I'll have to bash ya.
Just joking.
I need my laptop and an office.
Preferably somewhere
with a bit of privacy.
Linda's your go-to on that.
Thank you very much.
(TREVOR LAUGHS)
I'm sorry, James.
All our offices are in use.
Oh, it doesn't have to be an office.
It could just be a room.
Without padding.
He gets a room, so do I.
You have a room, don't you?
Oh, yes, I have a room.
But I am sharing it with this guy.
I'd love to help, James,
but I'm afraid it's a no can do.
Linda. Listen.
I know that you're responsible
for the employment
of a whole lot of people here,
and I understand, of all people,
how serious that responsibility is.
I'm responsible for the welfare
of many, many people.
TREVOR: I've got people.
And I have to secure
a very important business deal
and I need
a very quiet space to do it in.
I don't see your name on a lot
of the lists for group attendance.
Why don't you give mindfulness
and depression meditation a go?
Starts in 10 minutes.
I'll tell you what.
Linda, you give me a room
and I'll do the groups.
Deal?
I'll tell YOU what.
When you attend groups,
then we'll see what's possible.
(EXHALES)
I want you to take whatever it is -
it could be a thought,
could be an unpleasant feeling -
and just pop it on a cloud.
Oh, that's it. Yeah. Yeah.
Just pop it on a cloud.
And observe the cloud
as it carries it away.
Ohh!
(SIGHS)
LINDA: Jacinta resigned
this morning without notice.
MAN: Right, and I'm sure
the compo claim you shafted her on
had nothing to do with that.
LINDA: I'd do the shift myself
if I could, but, as you know,
I have other responsibilities.
MAN: OK, come on.
Let's go downstairs.
I love that meditation.
I feel so much better.
Now, about that room.
One activity won't do it,
I'm afraid.
Excuse me?
JAMES: Mmm.
Oh!
What are you doing?
Just checking
you haven't topped yourself.
Stop it!
Oh! I'll fuckin' top YOU, man!
MAN: Alright. Night-night, boys.
(DOOR CLOSES)
WOMAN: I can't sleep thanks to you
and your fucking torch!
Hey, language.
Just go have a cup of tea.
(GROANS)
Go, go!
James!
What's the British pound doing?
Oh. Give me my phone
and I'll gladly let you know.
I'm gonna need that room.
Did you talk to Linda?
Oh, yes.
That woman's a human handbrake.
There is always one, isn't there?
Can we work around her?
(SIGHS)
Come and see me in the morning.
OK. Got to get out of here.
I'll end up like her.
(BABY CRIES)
WOMAN: Oh, shut that up!
I'm trying to fucking sleep!
(DOOR SLAMS)
OK, mate. Give me 10 minutes.
I'm just heading into the office now.
Rightio.
TREVOR: Fuck, yeah!
Oh, come on, come on!
This is on the quiet, OK?
Of course. Thank you.
(UNLOCKS DOOR)
And it's not exactly an office.
Wait! You're giving him an office?
Well, I'm the one
trying to run a business, mate.
I've got business.
Where's MY office?
Shut up! Listen to me.
I'll give you access to my computer
if you keep this on the quiet. Deal?
15 minutes, locked door,
no interruptions.
I think what's important is that we
hammer out proposals three and four.
Are you looking at those? Exac
Hey.
(PROGRAM BLEEPS)
Huh. Teddy.
Dad.
What are you doing here?
How did you get in?
The nurse let me in.
What are YOU doing here?
I'm trying to have a Skype meeting
in a broom cupboard.
No, Dad, what are you doing HERE?
I'm, uh
..just having some time out,
that's all.
In a psych ward?
It's your mum.
You know what she's like.
She overreacted.
But it's the
..it's the only way she'll be sure
that I get some rest.
Did you try and kill yourself?
What?!
No! God, no.
You know I'd never do that.
Why'd I hear her tell Nan you did?
Because something happened
and now everyone's upset.
You overdosed.
What was it, ice?
No.
Coke? Heroin?
(LAUGHS)
Nothing like that.
It's
The doctor gave me
some prescriptions.
And
..I mixed them up a bit.
And I mixed them with the wrong
things, and it was just an accident.
Then why are you here?
It's your mum.
She
..wants me to do three weeks or else.
But it's not gonna be three weeks.
Be one, max. Just you watch.
Or else what?
Oh, you you look worried.
You don't need to be worried.
Don't be worried.
Everything's gonna be alright, mate.
Everything's gonna be alright.
Do what Mum says and
..stay the three weeks.
OK?
Deal?
A deal, mate.
It's a deal.
Hello, gents? Gents, have I got ya?
(PROGRAM BEEPS)
Oh, shit.
Come on!
TREVOR: Oi!
Where's my computer access, man?
You will get your computer access
after I have finished this meeting.
Thank you very much.
(PRESSES KEYS) Hello? Have I got ya?
TREVOR: Hey!
(PROGRAM BEEPS)
We had a deal! Alright.
Shit.
Don't flake out on me, man.
Come on!
Hey! Come on.
(SIGHS)
Hey! Hello?
Will you shut up?
Oi!
Will you shut up?!
(YELLS)
Shut up!
Shut the fuck up!
(YELLS)
Crazy fuckin' psycho.
(PANTS)
WOMAN: Shut the fuck up!
(SIRENS HOWL)
(INDISTINCT VOICES)
I'm gonna have to hit you up
for that room again.
One more meeting, this deal is done.
Mmm.
Not sure your laptop's in any state
for a Skype meeting, is it?
Oh, I can use my phone.
It'll be 10 minutes, max.
How long do you reckon
you can keep this up?
Well, I came here on the condition
that I could stay in contact
with my partners.
Who are in London
working on a property deal for you
with no idea where you are.
Yes, but they don't need
to know that, do they?
And I can't have them thinking
that I'm, uh
..well, you know.
Like that?
Yeah.
Let me ask you a question.
If you're not like that,
then why are you here?
You should speak to my wife
about that.
(LAUGHS) I'm asking you.
Let me ask YOU a question.
Why are your balls
in Linda's handbag?
You're the go-to man here.
I can see clearly
that YOU should be running the joint.
We're talking about YOU.
Are we?
We're both the same. We're both
ambitious, both want success.
Difference is,
I'm not letting anyone get in my way.
You're all about deals, James.
I'll do YOU a deal.
You help Tessa with her puzzle,
I'll help you get what you need.
Alright.
Alright.
I'm, uh
..not really a puzzle kind of person.
I'm, uh
..not really
a wanker kind of person.
I read somewhere that you should,
uh, start at the corners.
Mmm. Good luck with that.
The puzzle's round.
(CRUNCHES)
So, guys,
I think that's the last point.
Great.
How soon can you get to London?
You don't need me there, do you?
Uh, we've worked too hard on this
not to lock it down in person.
So we'll see you here
next Friday, yes?
Yep.
Yep. Clubs of Soho await.
Excellent. See you then.
See you, mate.
WOMAN: "'But I don't want to go
among mad people, ' Alice remarked.
"'Oh, you can't help that, '
said the Cat."
MAN: "'We're all mad here.
I'm mad. You're mad.'"
Thank you.
Oh! My God, they're beautiful.
(LAUGHS)
It's so wonderful
seeing you do so much better.
Ooh! Don't do hugs.
Linda, just a hug.
You've been so good to me.
It's all part of the job.
Tomorrow, is it?
Well done.
(BABY FUSSES)
WOMAN: Shh, shh, shh, shh,
shh, shh, shh, shh.
Shh!
Shh! Shh!
Hey. You all good?
How about you give her a bath?
Oh! (SIGHS)
Come on. Let's do it.
(WATER TRICKLES)
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear at this moment
You mean everything ♪
How you going?
Oh, God! Oh, God, Nik.
I just got water in her eyes.
It's alright. It's alright.
It's just a splash. She's fine.
Nik.
So are you.
Can you just take her?
No. Ivy. You can do this.
Nik, I need you to take her.
(BABY FUSSES)
(SIGHS)
Whoo!
Take off that dress
Oh, my thoughts, I confess
Oh, come on, now ♪
(SIGHS)
Ivy.
We don't I don't think
you're ready to leave.
What?!
Yet. Yet.
(GROANS)
You will be.
Yeah, you will be one day, but right
now, you're still very, very unwell.
(IVY PANTS)
WOMAN: It's it's OK.
It's totally normal, and
Her anxiety levels are skyrocketing.
Brilliant observation, Cath.
Um, only problem,
you're not a doctor or a nurse.
Your qualifications in psychiatric
medicine are, in fact, zero.
But, you know,
you're a great patient.
We are I am cataloguing
her problems in alphabetical order.
Well, that'll make
all the difference.
Bye, Cath.
(SOBS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Mmm.
Hey.
Open your eyes.
You're OK.
You just panicked.
Hey.
Come on. It's alright.
Are they tap shoes Grace is wearing?
IVY: Yeah.
I learned tap as a kid.
Yeah. That was my dad's reaction.
"Little black Indian boys
don't tap-dance."
Tell that to my feet.
There you go.
Look. She'll be asleep soon.
(LAUGHS)
(SINGS ALONG TO COME ON EILEEN)
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye
I'll hum this song forevermore
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear
At this moment
You mean everything
You mean everything ♪
Just stop. Please.
Sorry. It's stuck.
I'm fine with it. Love that song.
Wouldn't even sing it to Linda.
(THUNDER RUMBLES)
If you're after meds, that's fine.
If you're after a chat, forget it.
I've got too much paperwork.
(BABY FUSSES)
(PANTS)
(BABY CRIES)
(PANTS)
(MOANS)
(HEARTBEAT THUDS)
(BABY CRIES)
Ivy! Thank God.
How'd you get out here?
I hate her.
It's the crying.
You can't deal with the crying.
I'm allergic to her.
Slow down. What's this about, huh?
(MOANS)
Is it about the bath?
No. (PANTS)
What Cath said?
No, no, no, no.
(PANTS) No, no, no.
It was earlier, when
when I went to buy the flowers.
I I know that it's not real.
I I know that it's
just a stupid thought, but
You got a smoke?
Uh no.
Got some spare change or anything?
No, no, it's
Fuckin' scab.
(SCREAMS)
(PANTS)
She didn't cut you.
WOMAN: You got a smoke?
IVY: Uh, no.
You got some spare change
or anything?
No, sorry.
Maybe you wish she had.
Then you'd have a wound,
something physical people could see.
I I can't get it out of my head!
I I know it's not real!
I know it's not real, but it
Hey. We all have scary thoughts.
The thing is
..not to let them control you.
And you didn't.
You bought the flowers and you
came back and you gave them to us.
That's how we know
you're getting better.
Yes, mate.
I'll give you a call in 10 minutes.
I'm just heading
into the office now.
Rightio.
TREVOR: Fuck, yeah!
Oh, come on, come on!
This is on the quiet.
Of course. Thank you.
(UNLOCKS DOOR)
And it's not exactly an office.
Wait! You're giving him an office?
Well, I'm the one
trying to run a business, mate.
TREVOR: I've got business!
Where's MY office?
JAMES: Shut up! Listen to me.
I'll give you access to my computer
if you keep this
Nik. Cath's right.
I I'm not ready.
No, she's not. Hey.
The doctors say you're ready.
I think you're ready.
But how do you know?
You can do this.
No, I can't.
When you first came here,
you couldn't even touch Saskia.
(SOBS)
But for the last fortnight,
you've been caring for her yourself.
(SOBS)
I can't. I can't do this.
I can't do this, Nik.
You can't what?
I I I can't be normal.
What's normal?
(SOBS)
Normal is being able
to look after your own children.
I can't do that.
Yes, you can.
No.
You are.
(SOBS)
Nik, I I can't even cope in here.
I so how am I supposed
to cope with with a
..with a 2-year-old
and a and a house and a job
and and and and
Other women look after their babies.
What's wrong with me?
You've been really ill.
But
..you're getting better.
Hm?
It takes time.
Hey.
(SIGHS AND SNIFFS) Sorry.
Delaying her exit date's
only gonna set her back.
Well, so is pushing her out the door
before she's ready.
She's ready. You said it yourself.
What happened last night?
The reality of leaving hit her
and she panicked.
It's all in the incident report.
(ALERT CHIMES)
(BEEPING)
She's ready enough.
The rest of her recovery
needs to be done at home.
I'm just a little reluctant
to take that risk.
(SIGHS)
Are you gonna do this
every time you lose a patient?
I'm the doctor. It's my call.
Well, Doctor
..just don't make the wrong call.
Happy birthday, by the way.
Keep it to yourself.
Ivy?
This is for you.
What is it?
A moon boot.
It's a wound people can see.
Here.
Wear it when you take Saskia out.
I mean, how about this afternoon?
Take her to the shops.
But there's nothing wrong
with my foot.
No, but if anyone asks about it,
I want you to imagine
they're talking about the part of you
that still feels broken.
You're mad.
Mmm. I'm mad. You're mad.
We're all mad.
Said the Cat.
Oh. Let me help you.
Thank you.
Poor thing.
What happened to your foot?
I broke it.
Oh. And you've got the baby
to look after. That's full-on.
Yeah.
Thanks.
TREVOR: No! No. No!
He can't have any
until he admits he's not invisible.
You see? How do you think she knows
you're fuckin' there?
How'd you go?
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
(BABY FUSSES)
Too-ra-loo-ra,
too-ra-loo-rye, aye ♪
I've got hold music in here.
There's hold music out there.
Just shut up with the song, alright?
Sorry, it's stuck. I blame Trevor.
Jake. Uh, Nik Katira here
from Wakefield.
Just letting you know
Ivy will be discharged as planned.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She's ready.
IVY: This is it.
Feet walking out the door.
I can do this.
Course you can.
Mummy.
Mmm?
Mummy.
Yeah?
How come she gets to leave?
She's a fucking basket case!
Trevor!
(TREVOR LAUGHS)
(COINS CLINK)
Another day older
Wouldn't change it if I could
But it's not really easy
I've got that understood
Most often, things are harder
Than I think they should be
Come on, Eileen ♪
(TRAIN HORN HONKS)
Oh, I swear ♪
(CROSSING BELL DINGS)
At this moment ♪
(HORN HONKS)
You mean everything ♪
(CROSSING BELL DINGS)
(SCREAMING)
Ivy! No!
(SPRINKLERS SPRAY)
Linda? You've got me working
Wednesday night.
Yeah. Sorry about that.
You know
I've got tickets to a concert?
Marie's still on compassionate leave,
Collette's got
a Love Your Vagina workshop,
and I couldn't find anyone else
to do the shift.
So
This this is deliberate.
I'm really disappointed
you see it that way, Nik,
because I spent hours
trying to accommodate your concert.
Who was on that shift a month ago
when you did the roster?
Let's try and take the heat
out of the conversation, shall we?
Jacinta?
Jacinta resigned this morning
without notice.
Right!
And I'm sure
the compo claim you shafted her on
had nothing to do with that.
I'd do the shift myself if I could.
But, as you know,
I have other responsibilities.
Mmm. OK.
NIK: OK. Come on.
Let's go downstairs.
I love that meditation.
I feel so much better.
Now, about that room.
One activity won't do it, I'm afraid.
Excuse me?
Another sip.
Come on.
That's it.
That's it.
You're my favourite.
Linda, I was thinking about
what you said to Ivy,
about, uh, not doing hugs.
Maybe you spend so much time
looking after your daughter
that you can't allow Linda
to be touched or cared for.
Collette.
No, really.
People who look after
relatives with a disability,
they often have this problem.
I don't have a problem. I'm fine.
But I don't like flowers either,
so
You don't like flowers?
Oh, my God. Why not?
They die.
Linda!
(SIGHS)
Carers need care too.
Oh!
Have you had a chance
to look at this pamphlet?
I think it would be
very good for you.
I'm not interested
in your nude workshops.
I don't run the workshops, Linda,
and to clarify,
clothing is optional.
OK.
Why do people get so hung up
on that part of it?
It's about intimacy.
(ALERT CHIMES)
But I've only been in the job
six months.
Acting in the job.
I've been hitting
all my key performance indicators.
Costs are down.
Which is very impressive.
So, is there really a need
to advertise the position?
Unfortunately, yes.
It's part of the process.
No.
I know. I I shouldn't
have bothered you.
It's a bit stressful, that's all,
what, with my situation at home
the way it is.
And we're very sympathetic to that,
as you know.
Yes, because I rely on the extra
..on that money,
for her care, is all.
Look, I wouldn't worry.
Provided you've got
a good rapport with your staff,
the chances of you making this
position permanent are very good.
Oh.
Oh, hey.
Did you hear the good news?
Linda's job's been advertised.
You should go for it.
No, thanks.
Why not? You're already
doing half her job anyway.
Yeah, go on.
No. I don't want it.
I'm happy at the coalface.
By the way, this is not funny.
(LAUGHS)
It's not.
It kind of is.
Sorry, but award-winning
Bichon Frise are not a joke.
Mate
..I have nothing but respect.
We love Armando and Consuela.
I love 'em as well.
I just want to know who did this.
NIK: Mmm.
(MOUTHS)
(LAUGHS AND CRUNCHES)
Too-ra-loo-ra,
too-ra-loo-rye, aye ♪
Oh, you keep singing that song,
one of us isn't gonna make it
out of here.
Two tickets to U2. Sold.
Oust Linda. Come on!
Will you stop?
You want my dogs to go hungry?
'Cause if you don't step up
and take Linda's job,
I'm gonna bloody go to jail
for killing her!
(LAUGHS)
And, like, my dogs won't get fed.
Forget it.
OK.
Well, don't complain when,
you know, she changes a roster
and you can't go
to your friggin' precious concert.
Hey.
I need Valium.
OK. Uh, look you know
what the doctor said. Just
No, I can't sleep thanks to you
and your fucking torch!
Hey, language.
Just go have a cup of tea.
Oh!
Just go. Go.
(INDISTINCT VOICES ON RADIO)
(INDICATOR CLICKS)
Come on!
(HORN HONKS)
Finally!
Watch it, watch it! Watch it!
(TYRES SCREECH)
LINDA: Hey!
(HONKS HORN)
Hello?
Are you blind?
Are you deaf?
MAN: (ON RADIO) We have solutions.
(TYRES SCREECH)
(INDICATOR STOPS)
(HANDBRAKE CLICKS)
(INDICATOR CLICKS)
(INDICATOR CLICKS)
(SIGHS)
Oh!
Fuck!
(GRUNTS) Fucking prick!
(GRUNTS)
Brought in a little something
to celebrate Kareena's birthday.
See what I mean?
Who's looking after Linda?
I don't even know
when your birthday is.
Oh. And good news for you, Nik.
I juggled a few things at home
to do your shift, so
..you can go to your concert.
It's too late. I sold the tickets.
Well, make yourselves a cuppa
and I'll be back for the handover.
Just gonna say hello
to the birthday girl. (LAUGHS)
Hello!
Hello.
A little birdie told me
it's a special day for you.
Oh!
There's cake.
I've got back-to-back patients. I
I won't have time. Thanks, Linda.
Looking good today, Dr Wells.
Why don't I get the hot doctor?
(DOOR CLOSES)
I hate birthdays.
(LAUGHS)
OK. Want to keep this?
You want candles?
No.
Linda!
I know you don't like hugs,
but you're getting one.
Oh! That's better, isn't it? Hm?
And here's one for later. Oh!
Oh!
Alright. Who wants cake?
Hm?
Just a minute, mate.
Everyone can see you.
Yep, you take one.
And here we go. No fingers.
Alright. Alright.
No!
No. No!
Oh, come on, Trevor.
We can't have any
until he admits he's not invisible.
Trevor!
You see? How do you think she knows
you're fuckin' there?
How'd you go?
(LAUGHS) Yes!
Did you, uh
Oh. Zelco's called the cops again.
I'll get it.
No, it's alright. I've got it.
I've got it.
Alright!
Can I help you?
Yeah, we're here to see
a Ms Linda Crowley.
Oh, um, oh.
I just remembered, Pete,
Omar spat out his meds.
Yeah. That's alright.
Could you
Oh.
..please?
Oh. OK.
Thank you.
I'm Linda Crowley,
nursing unit manager.
You the owner
of a green Mitsubishi Lancer,
registration number EYH-3SA?
I am.
There was an incident at
a supermarket car park this morning.
Um
..why don't we just step outside?
(GRUNTS)
TREVOR: (IN DISTANCE)
At this moment
You mean everything
Take off that dress
Oh, my thoughts, I confess ♪
(CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
(COME ON EILEEN
BY DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS PLAYS)
Now I must say more than ever
Come on, Eileen
Too-ra-loo-ra
Too-ra-loo-rye, aye
Eileen,
I'll hum this tune forever, oh
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear
What he means
Ah, come on
Let's take off everything ♪
(BABY CRIES)
Ivy!
Ivy!
Ivy! (PANTS)
(SHOES TAP)
(PANTS)
Ivy!
(SCREAMS AND PANTS)
Look at that.
We're nothing within all of this.
TREVOR: Nik! I'm not here.
(SIGHS) Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear ♪
OK. I'm over that song now too.
You try doing
a bloody double shift with him.
You mean everything ♪
Try being in my head.
Do you know it's
an actual condition? I looked it up.
It's called an earworm.
And
..you know how you get over it,
is you sing another song
over the top.
Brought in a little something
to celebrate Kareena's birthday.
COLLETTE: See what I mean?
Who's looking after Linda?
DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS:
These people round here
Wear beaten-down,
eyes sunk in smoke-dried face
So resigned to what their fate is
But not us
No, never
No, not us
No, never!
We are far too
young and clever ♪
(FAN WHIRRS)
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye
Too-ra-too-ra
Eileen,
I'll hum this tune forever, oh
Eileen, I'll hum this tune
forever, oh ♪
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYS)
Ooh! Ooh!
(SINGS ALONG) Night wolf
Running through the night
Night wolf
With eyes alight
Wild and dangerous,
proud amongst us
SINGER:
You better run for your life! ♪
Ah!
Night wolf ♪
(SONG CONTINUES OVER HEADPHONES)
What are you doing?
Trying to get a song out of my head.
You don't answer my texts.
You don't answer the door.
You alright?
No.
First you sell our tickets to U2.
I offered them to you.
Then guess who doesn't want
to come back for the wedding
'cause she thinks everyone'll
be forced to embrace Jesus.
Can't blame her there. Why don't you
do us all a favour and just elope?
I don't want to elope. I want to
look hot in my wedding sari.
And I want everyone to see me
looking hot IN my wedding sari.
But do you need it to be
a full-on Hindu affair?
I mean, you're only
provoking the situation.
It's not Hindu, OK?
It's a fusion wedding.
And it means a lot
to Kiran's parents.
OK, OK. Calm down.
Dad told me
Kareena's working at the hospital.
Has been for six months.
That's too weird.
Why?
Because you were engaged to her
She took a promotion.
..and now she's your boss.
(SCOFFS) She's not my boss.
It's weird.
I don't care what you say.
You want some food?
Mm-hm.
(SIZZLING)
None of Kiran's mates
have heard from you.
Have you forgotten
you're the best man?
Look, I'll do it,
but I don't need you
to micromanage me.
Yes, you do.
Here's a list of duties.
Do you want this back?
Shouldn't you be wearing it?
In theory.
But my leg was better
and I'm sick of everyone
treating me like an invalid.
I'm over it.
Ivy?
This is for you.
(SIGHS)
PETE: Waste of time.
What?
Puzzles.
If she's not allowed sleeping meds,
she needs something to focus on.
Yeah, you get
what I'm saying, though?
You get a perfectly good picture,
you break it into a thousand pieces,
you put it back together again.
I mean, where's the point in that?
Where's the point in anything
if you look at it that way?
I don't think there is one.
(SIGHS)
Omar? Brought you some breakfast.
(SIGHS)
Can't tempt you?
You know,
hipsters would kill for this.
(VOICES MURMUR)
Rohan.
Dr Achebe.
Um, Trevor's leave form
for you to sign.
Yep. I want to discuss it
with Dr Wells first.
Why?
'Cause I'm reconsidering
whether to grant him leave.
He's been quite volatile -
the incident with the guitar.
He's really looking forward to it.
I want to discuss it
with Dr Wells first.
Just to be clear, though,
if you do cancel his leave,
he's gonna be very upset,
so it needs to be carefully managed.
I'll bear that in mind.
Yeah.
TREVOR: No, you guys are fucked!
Where's Nik?
Let's talk about it. We can
You're all fucked!
We'll just OK.
What's the problem?
Problem is you're all fucked!
OK. Alright. We're fucked.
So, what can we do
Hey! You! Hey! Trev
Come on, settle down!
Settle down. Just, Trev
No, put it down. Put it down!
I'm gonna smash this through
your skull! Do you understand?
PEOPLE: Whoa!
(TREVOR PANTS)
Trevor.
Catch.
Back.
(PANTS)
Again.
Just fuck off!
Single words. Go. Problem.
(PANTS)
Leave!
Cancelled?
Yes!
Feeling?
Fucked!
NIK: And?
Kill.
And?
(PANTS)
Hurt.
And?
Hate!
And?
(PANTS)
They took my leave away, man!
I promised Seanie
I'd take his training.
One word.
They can't do this to him, man.
I promised!
I promised him, you know.
(PANTS)
Kids don't forget.
(PANTS)
He'll be he
He'll be what?
Sean will be what?
(PANTS)
One word.
(GASPS)
Pissed off!
That's two.
(PANTS)
Disappointed.
What else?
Sad.
(SOBS)
Pete. Clean up, eh?
(SOBS)
Gold stars all round for you,
Nicholas.
Nikhil.
Oh. I knew that. Sorry.
Anyway. Point is, well done you
for de-escalating Trevor.
Well, I wouldn't have to
if nobs like Rohan didn't drop a bomb
then bugger off
before the explosion hits.
Mmm. Couldn't agree more.
I'll have a chat with him.
Oh, and well done
for getting Ivy out too.
Free bed's a good bed, isn't it?
What's this?
Your application.
Please, Nik. You're
the sanest person in this place.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SIGHS)
I have a job application.
BUSKER: I've got that understood
Most often, things are harder
than I think they should be
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear
At this moment
You mean everything ♪
(TRAIN HORN HONKS)
(CROSSING BELL DINGS)
(SCREAMING)
Ivy! No!
(WIND GUSTS)
DEXYS MIDNIGHT RUNNERS:
Come on, Eileen
Too-loo-rye-aye
Come on ♪
(SHOES TAP)
Eileen
Too-loo-rye-aye
Now you're all grown
Now you have shown
Oh, Eileen
Say
Come on, Eileen
These things, they are real
Too-loo-rye-aye
I know how you feel
Eileen
Too-loo-rye-aye
Now I must say more than ever
Things round here have changed
I say
Too-ra-loo-ra, too-ra-loo-rye, aye
Too-loo-ra, too-loo-ra, too-loo-ra
Come on, Eileen
Oh, I swear
What he means
At this moment
You mean everything
Everything
You in that dress
My thoughts, I confess
Well, they're dirty
Oh, come on, Eileen ♪
(CROSSING BELL DINGS)
BUSKER:
It's easier said than done
This life
A dance with death ♪
(TRAIN APPROACHES)
NIK: We all have scary thoughts.
The thing is
..not to let them control you.
(GASPS)
(SHOES TAP)