Wander Over Yonder (2013) s01e01 Episode Script
The Greatest; The Egg
1 1x01a - The Greatest I, King Dingledorp of the Dingle-bots, declare this Dingleberry festival the best in the history of Dinglebopolopolis! Hip hop hooray! What a wonderful day! Wrong! Hate's great, best villain! This planet is now under the control of Lord Hater! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great! Soon every planet in the universe will be mine! Even pathetic little specks like Banglebrop! All under the control of Lord Hater! It's "Dingledorp.
" I'll call my new planet whatever I want! For when the entire universe is mine, then and only then will I finally be in all the galaxy! All right! Oh, whoever will save us now?! Wow! What a neat little town! There's a little park and cute little buildings! - Games and rides and - Rotting in one of Lord Hater's cells for the rest of our lives.
Sorry, Wander, I don't think so.
Oh! Everywhere we go, he's conquering planets, taking over towns, and just being a flarf-narbling, no-fun-having jerk! Oh! Ooh, this guy makes me so mad! I just wanna go up to his bony little face and But come on, you gotta be crazy to try and stop Hater.
Right, Wander? Wander? Wander? Wand Whoa! Howdy, fellas.
Folks call me "Wander," and we really like your town.
- What's your name? Whoa! - Take him to Lord Hater! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Oh, it's on, you little scuzz monkeys! Oh! Ow! Oh! Oh, there.
There, that's the spot, yeah.
Thanks, fellas.
My back's been killing me for days! But travel to the universe will do that to you, right? You know what I mean.
Right? Right? Right? Right? Hey, Sylvia, right? Right! Right! Left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Sure, it's fun and all, but, whoo, sometimes you just need to kick back and relax! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! I mean, don't you just wish that sometimes the constant "hate's great, best villain! Taste cake, it's fillin'! Fix gate, needs drillin'! Date Kate, she's willin'!" would just stop?! So you could finally have a day off and enjoy the fair! Hater's law 9,842! Your new favorite TV program is Lord Hater's torture room and fun time variety hour! Hater's law 9,843! Your new favorite is Lord Hater and the harbingers of doom! Hater's law 9,844! Your new favorite Do you think maybe I should, uh I won't let you down, sir? That was a blast! - Whoa! - Halt in the name of Lord Hater! Look at you and your little hat! You are so cute! I can't stand it! Trade! Shall we preserve the moment? Say "cheese"! No, not the flash! Not the flash! Aah! Oh, my eye! I can't see! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! I think he may have let you down.
Oh.
Put 'em up! Wanna mess with me, huh? Come on, you're not so tough! You shall pay for your foolishness! You shall suffer the full wrath of Lord Hater! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! I have mangled the minds of millions! I have tempted forth torrential tides of tears! I have reduced the richest of republics to rubble and ruin! Because I am the greatest in all the galaxy! Wow! Congratulations! That's amazing! Have you ever done this? Have you ever looked at your tongue? Have you ever done a ditty? Have you ever stood on one foot? Outrun a kitten? Been to a roller rink? Found a penny? Moved a couch? Ate a hundred hot dogs? Have you ever won a trophy for the Greatest in the galaxy contest? Huh? Have ya? Have ya? Have ya? Guess not.
Oh, it's on! Hot dog eatin', hot dog eatin' ring tossin', ring tossin' balloon dart throwin' baseball pitchin', baseball pitchin' arm wrestlin', arm wrestlin' sack racin', sack racin' tug of war, unicycle, push-up contest And now the winner of the greatest in the galaxy contest! Drumroll, please.
I'm so nervous! - You.
- Yeah! No, the other guy.
The one with the hat.
Hey, I have a hat! Wow, what a neat surprise! Whoo! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It's not fair! I should've won the trophy! I'm the greatest in the galaxy! I hate you! I hate you! - I hate you! - I like your sneakers! It's okay, sir! It's okay! We got you, sir.
We got you.
There we go.
Later, Hater! Sure was fun playing with you! - What? - That was awesome.
- Come on, up top.
- You put that filthy thing away and give me the good stuff! Who looks stupid now? Who's not so great now? Hey! Gotta be crazy to try and stop Hater! Right, Wander? Please, sir! Just let them go! - The planet is ours! - Shut up, peepers! Forget the planet, I want that trophy! I'm the greatest in the galaxy! Yahoo! Hey, Hater! Final challenge for the win! Last one into town is a rotten egg! Please, sir! No! All right! All right! Lord Hater, number one superstar! Whoo! I'm the greatest in all the galaxy! Wow, what a neat little town! Hi.
Sorry to bother.
Just wanted to stop by and give you this.
Congrats.
You won that race fair and square.
Well, best be goin'.
Later, Hater! 1x01b - The Egg That all you got, you overgrown iguana, right?! Take that! Uh, Syl you think that maybe you should try another No! I-I-I-I-I-I've got this! Totally under control.
Yeah, but maybe there's another way to stop No, this is the only way! I'll be fine! I need to bash this beast! Okay.
Let's see.
Something to help, something to help, something to help, something to help Oh, you poor baby! Oh, don't you worry! We'll get you back to mama! Even if she wants to kill us! Yes, she does! She wants to kill us dead! Great job, Wander.
This rock is perfect for bashing that beast! Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia it's like I always say, a little lump of love will take the buck out of the bronco.
Huh? This rock is an egg, and that beast is this egg's mother.
And once it's put back in its nest, it will hatch.
And mother and child will have a joyful reunion! Mother and child, y'all And the power of love will turn her into a nurturing mommy, instead of flying harbinger of death and destruction! Forget it! Sappy, smooshy-wooshy, lovey-dovey silliness you're on your own this time, Wander.
That thing wants to eat us! And the only way to get her to back off is to fight her off! Ow! I'll have nothing to do with this! Well, poo-poo to you, miss Punchy Punchersons.
Who needs ya, anyway? I'll do it myself! With the power of love! Stupid egg.
Should be biting us.
What am I, a babysitter? Nest.
Well "let's go get the egg.
" Stop! Slow down.
There's a baby on board! Perfect! If we hurry, we'll escape before it realizes there's an exit! Slower! Slower.
- Sl - Wander! Look, we have got a very short window of time before dragon breath figures out a way to get to us.
If we're gonna get to that nest in the next millennium, this baby is gonna have to man up And why are you doing that?! Aw! She likes you! My baby! Phew! Phew! Phew! Phew! Safe and sound! Right back where we started! Quick! Out here, we're fish in a barrel! What is wrong with you?! You've been flingin' this poor thing around like a sack of potatoes! Do you know nothing about proper parenting?! What?! What?! What do you want me to do?! The baby needs to know we're helping it, Not hurting it.
It needs some reassurance.
- It needs - Don't tell me.
A hug! Over my dead body! There! Good, right?! Good?! Can we go?! I'm not happy right now.
We are on a quest to get egg-y to the nest-y projectile spines hit more than they miss well, the baby has a scratch on her shell that hasn't hatched and a boo-boo just demands a kiss and now you're shiverin' from frosty freezy ice breath and I can tell you want to punch me in the gut baby's cold, have to admit needs mother hen to sit on it and you have got the biggest butt after getting hit with monster spit a bath we take and now we soothe eggy-poo with Patty cake caring for children is such fun, won't you agree? you thought you'd kick some monster butt instead you dressed for tea as we approach our final destination you have been burned and singed and smashed it was all worth it, oh, you'll agree 'cause finally you will see a lump of love will take the bronco's buck, oh yeah a lump of love will take the bronco's buck Finally.
Good riddance! Oh! Oh! Oh, I see what you're doing.
Well, it's not gonna work.
No cutesy-wootsey egg is gonna make a softy out of me! Just as soon as Wander sees his lovey-dovey plan go up in smoke, I will be back to doing what I do best Kicking some monster butt! Huh? Here we go.
Hey, aren't you gonna stay for the reunion? Why? Do I look like a giant flying lizard? Climbing a mountain like I can't believe I'm doing this! oh, yeah mother and child, y'all mm-hmm, it's the big reunion Wow! Look out! That's the wrong baby! Aah! Sylvia! You were right! It does wanna eat us! Sylvia! Back off, you thick-witted skink! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?! Hush now, sweetie.
Everything's gonna be All right? Look! A little lump of love! Took the buck out of the bronco.
Aw! Oh, Wander over yonder and check out this and that if you Wander over yonder best be sure to wear your hat all the things that you will see and you certainly will be free if you Wander over yonder just you and me
" I'll call my new planet whatever I want! For when the entire universe is mine, then and only then will I finally be in all the galaxy! All right! Oh, whoever will save us now?! Wow! What a neat little town! There's a little park and cute little buildings! - Games and rides and - Rotting in one of Lord Hater's cells for the rest of our lives.
Sorry, Wander, I don't think so.
Oh! Everywhere we go, he's conquering planets, taking over towns, and just being a flarf-narbling, no-fun-having jerk! Oh! Ooh, this guy makes me so mad! I just wanna go up to his bony little face and But come on, you gotta be crazy to try and stop Hater.
Right, Wander? Wander? Wander? Wand Whoa! Howdy, fellas.
Folks call me "Wander," and we really like your town.
- What's your name? Whoa! - Take him to Lord Hater! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! Ow! Oh! Ow! Oh! Oh, it's on, you little scuzz monkeys! Oh! Ow! Oh! Oh, there.
There, that's the spot, yeah.
Thanks, fellas.
My back's been killing me for days! But travel to the universe will do that to you, right? You know what I mean.
Right? Right? Right? Right? Hey, Sylvia, right? Right! Right! Left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Sure, it's fun and all, but, whoo, sometimes you just need to kick back and relax! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! I mean, don't you just wish that sometimes the constant "hate's great, best villain! Taste cake, it's fillin'! Fix gate, needs drillin'! Date Kate, she's willin'!" would just stop?! So you could finally have a day off and enjoy the fair! Hater's law 9,842! Your new favorite TV program is Lord Hater's torture room and fun time variety hour! Hater's law 9,843! Your new favorite is Lord Hater and the harbingers of doom! Hater's law 9,844! Your new favorite Do you think maybe I should, uh I won't let you down, sir? That was a blast! - Whoa! - Halt in the name of Lord Hater! Look at you and your little hat! You are so cute! I can't stand it! Trade! Shall we preserve the moment? Say "cheese"! No, not the flash! Not the flash! Aah! Oh, my eye! I can't see! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! I think he may have let you down.
Oh.
Put 'em up! Wanna mess with me, huh? Come on, you're not so tough! You shall pay for your foolishness! You shall suffer the full wrath of Lord Hater! Hate's great, best villain! Hate's great, best villain! I have mangled the minds of millions! I have tempted forth torrential tides of tears! I have reduced the richest of republics to rubble and ruin! Because I am the greatest in all the galaxy! Wow! Congratulations! That's amazing! Have you ever done this? Have you ever looked at your tongue? Have you ever done a ditty? Have you ever stood on one foot? Outrun a kitten? Been to a roller rink? Found a penny? Moved a couch? Ate a hundred hot dogs? Have you ever won a trophy for the Greatest in the galaxy contest? Huh? Have ya? Have ya? Have ya? Guess not.
Oh, it's on! Hot dog eatin', hot dog eatin' ring tossin', ring tossin' balloon dart throwin' baseball pitchin', baseball pitchin' arm wrestlin', arm wrestlin' sack racin', sack racin' tug of war, unicycle, push-up contest And now the winner of the greatest in the galaxy contest! Drumroll, please.
I'm so nervous! - You.
- Yeah! No, the other guy.
The one with the hat.
Hey, I have a hat! Wow, what a neat surprise! Whoo! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It's not fair! I should've won the trophy! I'm the greatest in the galaxy! I hate you! I hate you! - I hate you! - I like your sneakers! It's okay, sir! It's okay! We got you, sir.
We got you.
There we go.
Later, Hater! Sure was fun playing with you! - What? - That was awesome.
- Come on, up top.
- You put that filthy thing away and give me the good stuff! Who looks stupid now? Who's not so great now? Hey! Gotta be crazy to try and stop Hater! Right, Wander? Please, sir! Just let them go! - The planet is ours! - Shut up, peepers! Forget the planet, I want that trophy! I'm the greatest in the galaxy! Yahoo! Hey, Hater! Final challenge for the win! Last one into town is a rotten egg! Please, sir! No! All right! All right! Lord Hater, number one superstar! Whoo! I'm the greatest in all the galaxy! Wow, what a neat little town! Hi.
Sorry to bother.
Just wanted to stop by and give you this.
Congrats.
You won that race fair and square.
Well, best be goin'.
Later, Hater! 1x01b - The Egg That all you got, you overgrown iguana, right?! Take that! Uh, Syl you think that maybe you should try another No! I-I-I-I-I-I've got this! Totally under control.
Yeah, but maybe there's another way to stop No, this is the only way! I'll be fine! I need to bash this beast! Okay.
Let's see.
Something to help, something to help, something to help, something to help Oh, you poor baby! Oh, don't you worry! We'll get you back to mama! Even if she wants to kill us! Yes, she does! She wants to kill us dead! Great job, Wander.
This rock is perfect for bashing that beast! Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia it's like I always say, a little lump of love will take the buck out of the bronco.
Huh? This rock is an egg, and that beast is this egg's mother.
And once it's put back in its nest, it will hatch.
And mother and child will have a joyful reunion! Mother and child, y'all And the power of love will turn her into a nurturing mommy, instead of flying harbinger of death and destruction! Forget it! Sappy, smooshy-wooshy, lovey-dovey silliness you're on your own this time, Wander.
That thing wants to eat us! And the only way to get her to back off is to fight her off! Ow! I'll have nothing to do with this! Well, poo-poo to you, miss Punchy Punchersons.
Who needs ya, anyway? I'll do it myself! With the power of love! Stupid egg.
Should be biting us.
What am I, a babysitter? Nest.
Well "let's go get the egg.
" Stop! Slow down.
There's a baby on board! Perfect! If we hurry, we'll escape before it realizes there's an exit! Slower! Slower.
- Sl - Wander! Look, we have got a very short window of time before dragon breath figures out a way to get to us.
If we're gonna get to that nest in the next millennium, this baby is gonna have to man up And why are you doing that?! Aw! She likes you! My baby! Phew! Phew! Phew! Phew! Safe and sound! Right back where we started! Quick! Out here, we're fish in a barrel! What is wrong with you?! You've been flingin' this poor thing around like a sack of potatoes! Do you know nothing about proper parenting?! What?! What?! What do you want me to do?! The baby needs to know we're helping it, Not hurting it.
It needs some reassurance.
- It needs - Don't tell me.
A hug! Over my dead body! There! Good, right?! Good?! Can we go?! I'm not happy right now.
We are on a quest to get egg-y to the nest-y projectile spines hit more than they miss well, the baby has a scratch on her shell that hasn't hatched and a boo-boo just demands a kiss and now you're shiverin' from frosty freezy ice breath and I can tell you want to punch me in the gut baby's cold, have to admit needs mother hen to sit on it and you have got the biggest butt after getting hit with monster spit a bath we take and now we soothe eggy-poo with Patty cake caring for children is such fun, won't you agree? you thought you'd kick some monster butt instead you dressed for tea as we approach our final destination you have been burned and singed and smashed it was all worth it, oh, you'll agree 'cause finally you will see a lump of love will take the bronco's buck, oh yeah a lump of love will take the bronco's buck Finally.
Good riddance! Oh! Oh! Oh, I see what you're doing.
Well, it's not gonna work.
No cutesy-wootsey egg is gonna make a softy out of me! Just as soon as Wander sees his lovey-dovey plan go up in smoke, I will be back to doing what I do best Kicking some monster butt! Huh? Here we go.
Hey, aren't you gonna stay for the reunion? Why? Do I look like a giant flying lizard? Climbing a mountain like I can't believe I'm doing this! oh, yeah mother and child, y'all mm-hmm, it's the big reunion Wow! Look out! That's the wrong baby! Aah! Sylvia! You were right! It does wanna eat us! Sylvia! Back off, you thick-witted skink! Why don't you pick on someone your own size?! Hush now, sweetie.
Everything's gonna be All right? Look! A little lump of love! Took the buck out of the bronco.
Aw! Oh, Wander over yonder and check out this and that if you Wander over yonder best be sure to wear your hat all the things that you will see and you certainly will be free if you Wander over yonder just you and me