Waterloo Road (2006) s01e01 Episode Script
Episode 1
(Shouting) Look, sir, the headmaster's on the roof.
(Shouting angrily) (Ranting) Get the hell up there and gag him.
All right, everyone back inside now.
Come on, move it.
(Still shouting) Bloody hell.
That's the end of my bloody life here! - Let's see them give it to you! - Come on.
(Sobbing) - Nobody warned me! - It's all right.
I've had enough of it (Sobbing) We'll soon have this lot sorted, Mr Rimmer.
And I, for one, will be more than happy working for you.
I could kill the mad old sod.
It's like taking over the Charge of the Light Brigade mid-gallop.
You'll be glad of the extra remuneration.
Oh, yeah.
I've got an ex-wife and two college fees to fund.
But I'd rather find a deputy to do the work for me.
I did find this promising candidate in the Apps file, though.
D'you think you can arrange a meeting for me after hours? - In your office? - No.
In my other office.
Most of the time, they just need a firm hand, you know.
Andrew Treneman? jack Rimmer.
- What can I get you? - Er Deputy headship? (Chuckles ) Take a seat.
Yeah, well, anyone can teach the privileged, eh? Well, I It's just that the last time I applied, I was told my methods wouldn't go down too well.
Incompatible with the comprehensive ethos.
Well, the man who told you that is now sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
What we've got now is a struggle to keep the padlocks off the gates.
You say you're up for a challenge.
All most our kids leave school with is an ASBO or a bun in the oven.
How many pupils are currently on behaviour agreements? Mm? The seriously disruptive.
You presumably try to progress them through the stages.
Well, this is it, Andrew.
This is the task ahead, right? Why I think I've found the right man to help me turn the place around.
Cheers, darling.
You'd be prepared to give me a free hand, then? And your full support? Absolutely.
Whatever it is you need, you tell me.
OK.
Deal.
I accept.
Delighted, Andrew.
And you can start in a month? - Don't see why not.
- In that case, welcome to Waterloo Road.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Can you tell him we want to change table three and say I'll call him back at lunch time? Yes.
Clarkson.
Right.
Fine.
Thank you.
Meetings and Events aren't available before 9:30.
Anyway, you agree, don't you? If anyone needs to be sat right at the far end Aren't you having any breakfast? I'm looking for support here, Tom, or your Uncle Reg could spoil the wedding.
He's not worth crying over.
What, you don't think your Uncle Reg's personal hygiene's a problem? Lorna, I I'm the problem, aren't I? At last! I've had to worry about every little detail to get this organised on time, which I haven't complained about.
- Maybe it would be better to cancel it.
- Cancel it? Well, seriously, if it's causing you so much stress.
I'm hardly not coping with it, am I? Luckily for you, Tom Clarkson, I'm a very organised person.
"Cancel the wedding"! Your brother's already in the air.
(Chatting) Fares.
Fares! - Aah! Hey! - Hand it over.
Erm, I think you'll find that belongs to him.
I just need their fares.
- What's your problem, mate? - I saw you take it.
- Tell him to pay up.
- Keep that mouth of yours shut.
- Hand it over and pay up.
- This is mine.
He'll tell you, innit, Stephen? - (Groans ) - Innit it, Stephen? It's Donte's.
One, please.
Did you hear me? He's got this boy's ticket.
The police might want to be involved in this.
- What? - Theft and assault.
There are plenty of witnesses.
You saw this boy kick this other boy, didn't you? - Well, what about you? - See? You can go and shove it.
I think not.
Could you dial 999, please? Hey, get off! - Mika, will you have some toast? - No, I said.
- Well, what about a banana? - Mum.
Chopped up with some yoghurt.
Mm, lovely.
You're always nagging.
No wonder Dad left.
Yeah.
Had nothing to do with his 23-year-old bimbo.
- Well, why can't he come back? - Mika, I'm sorry, but he doesn't want to.
What? Are you saying you'd let him if he did? - Mika - (Sighs ) Oh Mum, can I have half of next week's pocket money now? - Forget it, Chlo.
- But I wanna buy someone a present.
I know who you wanna spend your money on and I wish you'd grow out of him.
Well, you don't have to fancy who I fancy, do you? I know, darling, but he's just not good enough for you.
Come on, we've got to get going.
Fetch your things.
(Shrieking) (Siren ) You're a dead man, mister! I presume you're aware of what happens if you lie to the police? - Problem? - Er, yes.
Hello, Officer.
Theft and assault.
On this chap here.
- I've made a citizen's arrest.
- Oh, yeah? He's a liar, yeah? He assaulted me! That's not true, is it, Stephen? - Tell the truth.
- Let the lad speak for himself.
Well Donte kicked me.
And then he stole my buss pass an' all.
Right.
And you are? Donte Charles.
This is the last time I'll have to introduce myself as Miss Dickey.
- Hey? - To our new deputy headmaster.
Well, maybe I'll just say I'm Lorna Clarkson.
After all, I soon will be.
- Don't do that.
- You think it's bad luck? You're even more of a worrier than me.
- Look, Lorna - How's his fancy footwork coming along? No match for mine yet.
I might have to marry you instead, Izzie.
Don't worry, I'll slap him into shape.
You, lunch-time detention.
Should we invite the deputy headmaster to the reception? - Lorna - We're going to be seeing him every day.
just calm down, yeah? But if he's good-looking and single yes, please.
(Girls) Morning, Mr Clarkson.
I'll catch you later.
Listen, Lorna, we can't do this.
I can't marry you.
- What? - I mean it.
- (Bell) - I can't.
It's not right.
- What? - I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
How can a whole busload of kids simply disappear? It's like something out of bloody Doctor Who.
Mystery over.
- What's happened? - Donte Charles has been arrested.
Settle down.
(Chatting continues ) - I said settle down! - (All go quiet) jade, Kayleigh, give out the textbooks.
(Tom ) So, who do we think we're supposed to blame? Or do we think it wasn't really anybody's fault? Because what went wrong was all down to fate.
Like when Gareth Southgate missed that penalty.
Mr Clarkson, could I have a quick word, please? - Miss Dickey wants a quickie! - (Laughter) All right.
Discuss.
- You've got to tell me you're joking, Tom.
- We can't do this now.
Four years we've been planning this.
You can't just suddenly cancel it.
I just want to do what's best for us.
Lorna, honestly, I just don't think things are gonna work out for us any more.
- It's because of me, isn't it? - No! - You think I've been turning into a wife.
- I'm not blaming you for anything.
I've been so uptight trying to make everything so perfect.
It's not just the wedding.
Look, I promise you, I'm just gonna lighten up and enjoy it.
I mean, who cares where your Uncle Reg sits? All I care about is you and me being happy together.
This is it.
I can't make you happy any more Of course you can.
You'll make me the happiest woman in the world.
Lorna, it's it's over.
Not just the relationship, the wedding It's me.
I'm not in love with you.
- Sit down.
- (Door shuts ) Yes, I know who Donte Charles is.
I just want you to know I'm gonna flay him alive when I get hold of him.
- Hello.
Is Mr Rimmer? - On the phone.
And you are? Yes, we do care about the behaviour of our pupils.
I think I'd better Look, we're sorry about your bus schedule being interrupted! You'll just have to knock louder.
Look, we are not in a position to offer compensation.
I don't think Mr Rimmer's going to take too kindly to you listening in on his private conversations.
(Angrily) Yes? Who is it? Why don't you get the bloody parents to pay? They're the ones who brought them up.
You can't be serious.
From what I understand, this was a minor incident that's been blown out of all proportion by some daft, have-a-go hero.
Erm, Headmaster Do what you want, then.
joker.
Trying to tell me they're not gonna bus our children to school.
I'm sorry about being late.
You know, I brought you here to set an example and on your first day The, er have-a-go hero.
- You're winding me up, aren't you? - I witnessed a crime.
I felt duty-bound to intervene.
Your duty is to this school and to this headmaster.
Haven't we also got a duty to the pupils? I mean, to face them with the consequences of their actions.
Listen, Andrew, this school is bang-slap in the middle of hoodlum-land.
It may not suit the educational psychologists to say it, but it's a hard fact.
- Nicking a bus ticket, well, it's - Acceptable? It's not worth giving me a bloody headache over.
(Mobile ) jack Rimmer.
Oh, great, the Rochdale Gazette.
Yes, I am aware of the incident.
Yeah, of course we have an anti-bullying strategy! Police have got an anti-crime strategy - doesn't stop it happening.
I am not being complacent! (Shouting) Er, Mr Budgen? Andrew Treneman.
Sorry you had to take my class.
That was good timing.
Hi.
Erm, I just thought I'd introduce myself.
Kim Campbell.
Head of Pastoral Care.
- Welcome to Waterloo Road Comp.
- Glad to be here.
- So, a bit different from your old school?.
- just a bit.
I think you'll find that the children here don't really like being regimented.
They must be different from all the other children I've taught, then.
Yeah, it might be a little bit of a shock.
But don't let me put you off.
You go right ahead and OK.
I went, "I'm coming after you, mate.
" He was wetting himself.
What's your old man gonna say? Reckon he'll be well wound up, man.
I do mean proper.
(Laughs, yells) Hey, let's see what it feels like.
You.
Not too Together till death.
Are you trying to take advantage of me cos I'm drunk? Are you telling me there's somebody else? Tell me.
Is there somebody else? - No, I - You liar! - Tell me.
Is there somebody else? - No.
About lunch time.
We'll have to do it in the art room, the gym's got their chairs out.
Lorna? (Sighs ) He can't mean it, Lorna.
It doesn't make any sense.
- Do you think he's got someone else? - No.
I think he's totally committed to you.
- Maybe it's just last-minute nerves.
- There's got to be something else.
There's got to be something that he's not telling you.
- Oh, my god, Izzie.
- What? - It couldn't be cancer, could it? - What? His father had prostate cancer last year.
- Tom thought it might be hereditary.
- Come on.
Surely if he'd got cancer, he would have told you that.
Look, go home and I'll get somebody to cover your class.
- Will you talk to him, Izzie? - Course I will.
I'll kill myself if he leaves me.
Lorna, I'll talk to him and find out what's going on, I promise.
Oh God (Yelling, laughing) Outside! - What? - Outside, please.
(Grumbling) I want an orderly queue formed here, please.
My name is Mr Treneman and I'm your new deputy head.
(All) Oooh! I'm also here to help teach you English.
- Who is Sarah Gilbert? - Yeah.
- Down the front there, please.
- Saddo.
- Kelly Cathcart? - Here.
Down the front the other side, please.
Er, sir, my name's Stacey Walsh and me and Kelly always sit together.
Yes, you always get grade Es together, too.
Third desk on the right, please.
Kevin Hogan? Back left, please.
- Nadia Adamson.
- Here, sir.
Second desk in the middle.
Mark Hines? Anthony Hedges.
Louise Pallit.
Louise Pallit? Ben Crossley.
Third desk on the right, please.
You right at the front.
This is a load of crap, man.
Oh, dear.
My first detention.
What, a detention just for saying "crap"? (Laughter) For speaking when I haven't asked you to.
That's a hard-and-fast rule of mine.
If you want to say something, you put up your hand.
Other than that, I expect silence.
You'll use lunch time to catch up on your spelling.
- No way, man! - You've just broken my rule again.
- Tomorrow we'll do some comprehension.
- You're picking on me! Gosh, we are going to be seeing a lot of each other.
If I were you, I'd want to keep at least one lunch break free this week.
I'm sorry Donte's interrupted your lesson.
I hate to think of your parents' hard-earned taxes going to waste, so let's get on, shall we? OK, ladies and gentlemen, exercise books out, please.
(Beeping) (Mobile ) Dad? There's this new teacher and he's picking on me.
You really are a pest, Charles.
You can have this back on Friday.
- I was speaking to me dadI - I don't care who you were speaking to.
And will you please ask your dad not to call during my class? If we hadn't been gazumped, we'd be enrolling her in Kingsbury College today.
Well, you'll be pleased to hear that we've just poached their Head of English for my new deputy.
Andrew Treneman.
Yes, we know.
It's the only reason Nicholas persuaded me to give you a trial.
Well, we'll be delighted to offer Lucy a place here, Mrs Seymour.
Of course, we totally believe in the comprehensive system.
As so many people do, Mr Seymour.
And then they move house to avoid it.
Or they find God.
We know we're just as guilty as the next, but how can we condemn our daughter to this? in basic reading skills.
Oh, it was 55% last year, wasn't it? I'm sure Lucy's got no worries there.
The great thing about coming to a comprehensive is she's gonna see another side of life.
And it's the greatest prep going for Oxbridge these days, so I hear.
Anyway, let me show you around.
I'm sure that Mr Treneman will be keen to make your acquaintance.
I think that Scout is scared of Boo Radley at first because he's so different to her and jem and she doesn't unders Oi! - Me son wants his mobile back.
- Excuse me? - You're not gonna give it him? - Get out of my class.
- just give me son his mobile back.
- That's not gonna happen.
- It isn't a request.
- (Class ) Ooh! Can I have your attention, class? This is what's known as a thug.
You what? You Now you know why his son is a bully and a thief.
He's not a - Go on, Dad! Hit him! - (Yelling) Certainly well equipped with computers.
Yeah, one in every classroom soon.
And electronic whiteboards.
Private sector's lagging behind us there.
See? The Government's kept some of its promises.
Mm.
Maybe this place isn't so bad.
I mean, Kingsbury don't have them.
I think you'll find they're missing their Head of English, too.
(Shouting) Why don't I get Mr Treneman to come out and chat to you? Ah, Miss Haydock.
Would you like to show our guests around your new language lab? Maybe Lucy would like to try on your headphones.
- Of course, Headmaster.
- Perhaps you'd like a go.
It's a lot of fun.
- What's going on in there? - Forget it! We'll try somewhere else.
- Look, there's really no need - It's a shambles, Mr Rimmer.
- Oh, er, how's Lorna? - Hey? Somebody said she'd had to go home.
Another of her migraines? Oh.
Right.
Thanks.
Right, well, I hope she feels better soon.
(Cheering) Let me just you wait! - Untie me bloody hands! - Out! What are you lot laughing at? This is gonna come in useful, after all.
Yes.
Police, please.
The stupid prat, man.
He made a right arse of himself, and me.
- Been brilliant to have seen it.
- Suppose he goes down for it? No, your dad'll do him if he presses charges.
- Look, I'd better go.
- just tell the snobby git to get lost.
- Oh, yeah, get another load of detention.
- Bothered? D'you want me to tell him? No.
If he's chucked me dad in the nick, I'll slit his throat for him.
Snooty little sod didn't even have an apology for me.
job should have been yours, mate.
There's no two ways.
Mm, Treneman's welcome to it.
So long as he doesn't go doubling my workload.
If you ask me, we need to recruit a division of the Paras if they want us to drill anything into those little brickheads.
Tom.
Hi, Grantly.
We need a chat.
- A pint of lager, please.
- And another for me, mate, please.
- Grantly? - Mm-mm.
I'm off to lose a tenner.
- Have you got cancer? - What? - just Have you, Tom, or not? - No, of course I haven't.
Have you got any other disease or medical problem? Not that I'm aware of.
Well, then, you've definitely got somebody else, haven't you? Come on, Tom, don't muck about.
Since when does a bloke blow out a relationship and a shared mortgage to go and cope on his own? - I haven't got somebody else.
- Then why the hell can't you marry Lorna? I told her why.
Well, then, you'd better sit down and tell me.
Because this is not stacking up.
Stupid - Sergeant Hendy.
- That's all I need.
- Make a habit of this, do you? - I'd rather leave it to you chaps.
Dear, oh dear, Clarence.
Been throwing your weight around again? Three times he punched my colleague here, - in front of a classroom of 16-year-olds.
- That right? Oh, by the way, you do not have to say anything, but anything you do say No, don't bother.
I'm guilty, I hit him.
He's a tosser.
I confess, all right? Not surprising, given there were 30 witnesses.
Well, that was easy.
Take him down the station and charge him.
Get off.
Get off.
With his previous, you won't be seeing him again this side of 2010.
Good.
Erm, I'd better be getting back to my classroom.
- I've got Donte Charles in detention.
- Great.
More hassle.
- Sorry? - I was off my truck, recruiting you.
Here half a day and that's the second time you've had the police round.
- I'm sorry? - I had two reject parents from your Kingsbury College in this morning, this close to their daughter giving us a boost up the league table until they heard the rumpus from your classroom.
- You lost them.
- No, you lost them! Are you trying to sabotage me? I'm trying to help you establish zero tolerance of bad behaviour! That's how you'll attract middle-class parents - by laying down some rules and damn well sticking to them.
Which is what I'm off to do.
You carry on like this, you'll have a punch-up every week! If that's what it takes.
I've got the stomach for it.
But if every decision I take is going to be undermined by the very person who should be giving me his support Look, Izzie, this is none of your business.
It's between me and Lorna.
I've just had to try and talk her out of killing herself.
I'm supposed to be her bridesmaid on Saturday.
I've been involved in every sodding detail of your wedding from day one.
I'm sorry.
You don't suddenly tell the woman you're marrying you're not in love with her.
What the hell else do you do? Lie and go ahead with it? Well, you're obviously lying about something.
- I thought I loved her, didn't I? - What? And then suddenly, this morning, you realised you didn't? No, not just like It's obviously myself I've been lying to.
I feel sick about it.
If you'd been having second thoughts, you should have said something to Lorna straight off.
I'm just trying do the right thing by her now.
I hope one day she'll be glad about it.
Get real.
There is someone else, isn't there? Fine.
If you wanna make me say it - Yeah, there is.
- Oh, jesus, Tom.
I knew it.
Who is it? If you're so bloody clever, you should be able to work it out, shouldn't you? Work out what? - Izzie.
Izzie, wait! - Sod off, Tom.
- You said I should've talked about it.
- Yeah, go and talk to Lorna.
Look, please We can't leave it like this.
Well, I can.
just don't you ever tell Lorna what you've just told me.
It's the truth.
I love you.
- Rubbish.
- I want you to tell me the truth now.
Tell me what you really feel about me.
Don't you dare think of blaming any of this on me.
Andrew, can I have a quick word? Erm I'd rather you didn't use my first name in front of the pupils.
What, a state secret, is it? Perhaps you haven't heard of the old proverb, "Familiarity breeds contempt.
" Mm no.
No, you got me there.
Maybe I should have gone to a posh school like yours.
Whatever advantages I've had, I'm trying to share them with these kids.
Beginning to understand why you got a punch in the mouth.
Wait a minute! I haven't got time to discuss your hang-ups.
I need to speak to Donte.
I've had his social worker on and he's got to go into care tonight.
Crikey.
- Why? - Because his father's in a police cell.
He's a single parent.
Er, the mother walked out four years ago.
- He's brought his son up on his own.
- Oh.
Did you not think of the consequences before you decided to confront him? He assaulted me.
What is it here? You've lost sight of what's right and wrong.
Excuse me, I'm not gonna be lectured.
These kids know they can create hell and get away with it, thanks to teachers like you explaining it away.
Have you any idea what we're dealing with at Waterloo Road? are from single-parent homes.
- It doesn't mean they shouldn't behave.
- No, it doesn't.
But it causes difficulties.
God knows what percentage are on drugs.
We've got the highest underage pregnancy rate in the whole country.
- Basically, we're talking poverty.
- If you lower your expectations of what poor kids can achieve, they'll stay poor.
Yeah, and meanwhile, in the real world, we've got a kid about to go into care because of your back-to-basics rubbish.
Oh, another statistic for you.
Over 50% of kids in care end up in prison, so well done, Andrew.
You've made such a difference already.
Kim.
Obviously, I don't want the boy put into care.
(Bell) - Hi.
We're looking for Clarence Charles.
- Are you his lawyer? No, I'm his son's pastoral care teacher.
Kim Campbell.
This is Mr Treneman, the victim of his assault.
- Can we speak to him? - He's not the chatty type.
We've got a proposition that he'll want to listen to.
Miss Campbell, what are you doing here? Oh.
I suggest you sit down, keep your trap shut and your ears open, Charles.
We're both here for your son's benefit.
He's a thief.
Have you ever had to confiscate anything from Donte, Mr Charles? Presumably as a punishment for something.
Yeah, sometimes.
Right, well, while your child is at our school, right, we treat him like our own child.
Yeah? We care for him and, like a parent, sometimes have to discipline them.
Do you think he should've been using his phone in class? He had his reasons.
And so do 29 other pupils, which is why nobody is allowed to use their phone.
Surely you can see that.
- He called me a thug.
- That's how you behaved.
What do you call someone who punches people in the face for no good reason? Look, I'm not proud of what I done, right? I lost it.
But if my boy asks me for back-up You need anger-management classes, Mr Charles.
Yeah, and I'm gonna get 'em inside, aren't I? And while you're inside, your son is gonna be bedding down in a local-authority home.
Look I'm prepared to give you a second chance.
Drop all the charges if you're prepared to cooperate.
Today, there was a very serious assault on a member of my staff.
The man who assaulted him would like to say something.
- (Microphone feedback) - Me name's Clarence Charles.
I want to apologise to Mr Treneman, and anybody in his class, for my assault on him this morning.
I was out of order.
He could have got me sent to prison and me son, Donte, put into care.
So I'm very lucky to be let off.
Cos it's not worth it for a stupid mobile which shouldn't be used in lessons.
Right, son? And I'll see he doesn't do it again, Mr Rimmer.
I give you me word.
Thank you.
just so you know, this is now a zero-tolerance school for violence against teachers.
There's a big sign going up outside the gates - "We always prosecute violent parents.
" And we will exclude any pupil whose parents assault my staff.
So go home and tell your mums and dads.
I'm not having it.
Teachers, dismiss your tutor groups.
Thanks for saving the day, Kim.
I suppose I should thank you, too.
If you want to.
Oh, God, you're tricky.
Come on, son, let's get summat to eat.
We've got a lot to talk about, yeah? You what? You just disrespected me in front of the whole school.
Ain't going nowhere wi' you.
(Mobile ) - Hello? - Iz? It's me.
Did you speak to Tom? Yeah.
Er, Lorna, can I ring you back? I'm driving.
Sorry.
- Get out.
- For God's sake.
Please, just listen to me.
Hurry up.
I've been fighting these feelings for months.
Honest.
But it's not a daft crush.
You're the point of my day.
- I've tried to get you out of my head, but - Well, try harder.
What, that's all you've got to say? What d'you want me to say? "Move in"? I want to know what you want in your life, Izzie.
Cos I don't think I've cooked up these feelings all by myself.
D'you know, it's almost funny.
You don't know the first thing about my life.
In fact, I don't have a bloody life.
I've got a job and two kids and that's all I can cope with, so why don't you take your feelings away from me and give them back to Lorna? Now go.
OK.
All right, girls? Night, Izzie.
- What did he want? - Nothing.
- Why was he sat in our car, then? - It's none of your business.
Have you two had an argument? Mum.
Mum! - I'm talking to you.
- Well, I'm not talking to you.
Mum, are you gonna make us something? Er, yeah, just a minute.
Tom.
Bloody Tom.
(Phone ) Iz? Iz, I'm really sorry to bother you again but I have to know.
Did you speak to Tom? Yeah, I did.
And you're gonna have to promise me that you won't tell Tom what I'm gonna tell you.
I think he's just worried that he's lost the old you.
Is that what he said? Yeah.
Thanks, Izzie.
Lorna? Lorna? Come here.
I just want to prove to you that being married doesn't mean not sexy.
- Look, what I said today - I know I've been hung up lately.
- But not any more, I promise.
- I don't think this is a good idea.
Your foxy lady's back and she wants her man.
- I've got some marking to do.
- You're nearly as bad as me.
Come on, tiger.
You see? You do still love me.
(Tom sighs ) I need a shower.
Izzie, it's me.
I need to hear you tell me one more time, just to be sure.
Is there any chance for me with you? Any chance at all?.
Hello? Is this clear enough for you, Tom? You've got no chance.
Truth is, I just don't fancy you.
- (Crowd) Hooray! - Hooray! (Wolf-whistles ) To my big brother, Ian, for coming all the way over from Sydney, Australia, to be the best man.
To my nieces, Katy and Sarah, for being such beautiful bridesmaids.
And, erm for all her hard work and unstinting support the best woman, and our best friend, Izzie.
Only she knows how much Lorna and I owe her for helping us be here today.
She's been our rock and, er Well, she knows.
So, ladies and gentlemen, if you'll join me in raising your glasses.
To the best man and the bridesmaids.
(All) Best man and bridesmaids.
- (Snoring) - (Laughter on TV) (TV on ) (Mobile beeping) We should all have been at this wedding.
(Man ) Your mum said you didn't want to go.
Didn't wanna go cos she wouldn't go with you.
Can't stop me taking you out for treats, though.
We'll still have a good time.
- When? - Oh, I'll fix something up.
- Why don't you go back to Shelley, Dad? - I don't think so.
Well, why don't we all go back to Dad's? Don't be daft.
We're fine as we are here.
We are.
Flip's sake.
Mika's 16.
She could join the army and get killed in Iraq.
- Oh, thanks.
- You reckon your mother wouldn't mind? - Only watching telly.
- I'll have to check with her first.
- Who cares what she says? - Hey.
Mind you, she'll probably accuse me of spoiling her evening.
I'll just see where Shelley's at.
I'm going to my room.
I first met Lorna when we were students.
She found me crying my eyes out in the union loos, cos I'd had my handbag stolen and all I wanted to do was walk under a bus.
But Lorna said it might be better if I reported the theft, cancelled my credit cards, applied for an emergency subsistence grant and let her buy me a drink.
Well, that's my idea of a true friend.
And so is my other best mate there - Tom.
In fact I'd say he was the perfect man.
If only he'd give up Man City and support Newcastle.
Anyway they're perfect together.
So, to Lorna and Tom.
(All) To Lorna and Tom.
(Chatting) ( # Dance music) Don't they make a lovely couple? Yeah.
Great.
I reckon we will, too.
Don't you, jack? Uh? Well, I'm gonna be getting you on that dance floor, don't you worry.
And no wriggling out.
You be in bed no later than 11:30, right? Yeah, safe as, Dad.
(Yawns ) I'm knackered.
Think I might go to bed now.
- See you soon.
- See you, Dad.
Lock the door! It's done.
- Night-night, babe.
- Night.
(Mobile ) Donte? I'm free.
Finally.
(Whispers ) Great.
I'll see you in ten, babe.
May I have the honour? Oh, can you not just drop the upper-class twit act for one second? Technically, I'm middle class.
My dad's a dentist.
Twit obviously can't be helped.
Come on, sit down.
Have a drink.
Tell me something else that I don't know about you.
Well, er Did VSO in Rwanda.
That must score a merit in your books.
From Rwanda to Waterloo Road.
You like a challenge, don't you? Actually, I'd much rather everyone just did things my way.
Oh, I don't intend on giving you an easy life.
I gathered that.
D'you fancy a twirl, Kim? I'm all right.
Thank you.
Ta.
- You've been so brilliant, Izzie.
- Oh, shh No, you have.
We wouldn't even be here today if it wasn't for you.
Oh, come on.
Tom would have come to his own senses.
Anyway, he did.
And that's what matters.
Talk about scary, though.
I should have expected him to do a last-minute wobbly on me, though.
D'you remember his 25th? He wouldn't let me send out invites.
It's like he's allergic to even saying the word "tomorrow".
Well, he signed up for it today.
Look, erm, I'd better go and check on jimmy and the girls.
jimmy, is everything OK? What? Wait a minute, I can't hear what you're saying.
What? What d'you mean, you've gone home? (DJ) And here's one to get you all in the romantic mood.
Ooh! - I think you've had enough, Miss Haydock.
- No, I haven't! (Car horn ) Yeah, I'm coming! Tell Mum I've gone to bed.
- You've had it, Chlo.
- Yeah, yeah.
Hurry up, Chlo, come on.
You're looking fine, girl.
(Girl) Come on, Chlo, what you waiting for? - Your carriage awaits, my lady.
- Thank you.
- You all right? - Yo! Yo! Yo! Fasten your seat belts, man! - It's time to party! - Whoo! Izzie? I thought you'd quit the fags.
Yeah, well, I lied, didn't I? What's up? just the usual.
jimmy.
I've got to get back to the girls.
I've called a cab.
Like I told you, my mess of a life.
Anything I can do for you, Izzie Any time.
All I said today about you and Lorna I meant it.
I just want you both to be really happy.
I know that.
And I'm really gonna try and make it work.
Well, you better had.
- Oh, just sod off, will you? - Please.
(Car draws up) - No, no! What am I doing? - Izzie, wait.
Hold that cab.
Miss Redpath, can you drop Miss Haydock off on your way home? - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Right, OK.
- Ooh-ooh! Good night.
- (Girl laughing) You all right, Chlo? - I am.
Are you? Chlo, you're looking sexy tonight, girl! - Turn the music up, man.
- Come on, turn it up! - All right, chill, chill.
- This song is well good! Is that loud enough? - Come on! Up a bit more! - Louder! There you go.
That's what I'm talking about, man! But, see, the problem with you is that you don't even think you've got a problem.
Education isn't a science.
You can't just bung x and y together and get z.
All children are different.
Are they? I like to emphasise what makes them the same.
- But you Oh, you can't! - Sorry.
Andrew.
- Yes? - Are you sober? Yes.
Why? Well, I'm not.
And I've just had a call from the cops.
There's been some incident at the school.
- Hey, Chlo, you drinking tonight? - Hell, yeah! Attagirl, man! - Hey, Chlo, come in the front.
- Yay! You all right? You getting through? (Girl) Oh, my God, Chlo, what you doing? - Whoa! Look out! - (Horn ) Cool! You idiot! (Laughing) Police said it was three teenagers from the estate.
Every blasted thing they could swing a hammer at.
Pretty purposeful.
Izzie's Year 8s worked on this for weeks.
You see what we're up against now? This is the aggro we have to deal with, day in, day out! just fill in another insurance claim, that's all you can do! If I could get me hands on the little scumbags now! I've had it up to here with 'em! - Come on.
- Look around you.
It's too late! All you can do is pick up the pieces.
What, so we just write them off, do we? - You've got no idea, have you? - Listen to yourself.
If you really don't believe that we can make a difference, resign.
Walk away.
Let them rot.
What is it with you? Why are you doing this? - Well, it's not for the money.
- Why? Because this is the career I chose.
And kids like these have most need of good teachers.
Teachers who don't underestimate them.
There's plenty of proof.
It's possible to turn schools like this around.
You don't know what it's like to stand in front of a class every day and to know that not one child, and I mean not one, will even reach grade E.
Well, let's make that our first task.
One grade E at Key Stage 4.
It's an improvement, isn't it? We could be really ambitious and make it a D.
The school could be closed by the end of the year, anyway.
So we have a deal?.
I can't make deals without a drink in me hand.
- You've had too much to drink, man! - I can't hear you.
What you saying? Yes! (All talking at once ) (Horn ) What are you doing in there? Having a fight? I broke a glass and knocked the bin.
Sorry.
Oh, it's just as well I'm not waiting to lose my virginity tonight.
Blame Grantly Budgen.
No wonder his wife eats for two.
All he does is drink.
It's funny you should say that.
Because somebody else is eating for two now.
Nobody can say that's why we got married, can they? Because you couldn't have been forced by a fact you didn't know about.
That's why I made myself wait until tonight.
So I knew you really wanted to marry me.
What are you saying? I'm pregnant.
You're going to be a father, Tom.
I don't want some poxy rose! I just want my twin brother! I just want my brother back! You snidey cow! - You don't talk to her like that! - I'll talk to her how I want! - Feeling naughty, Miss Haydock? - (Shrieks )
(Shouting angrily) (Ranting) Get the hell up there and gag him.
All right, everyone back inside now.
Come on, move it.
(Still shouting) Bloody hell.
That's the end of my bloody life here! - Let's see them give it to you! - Come on.
(Sobbing) - Nobody warned me! - It's all right.
I've had enough of it (Sobbing) We'll soon have this lot sorted, Mr Rimmer.
And I, for one, will be more than happy working for you.
I could kill the mad old sod.
It's like taking over the Charge of the Light Brigade mid-gallop.
You'll be glad of the extra remuneration.
Oh, yeah.
I've got an ex-wife and two college fees to fund.
But I'd rather find a deputy to do the work for me.
I did find this promising candidate in the Apps file, though.
D'you think you can arrange a meeting for me after hours? - In your office? - No.
In my other office.
Most of the time, they just need a firm hand, you know.
Andrew Treneman? jack Rimmer.
- What can I get you? - Er Deputy headship? (Chuckles ) Take a seat.
Yeah, well, anyone can teach the privileged, eh? Well, I It's just that the last time I applied, I was told my methods wouldn't go down too well.
Incompatible with the comprehensive ethos.
Well, the man who told you that is now sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
What we've got now is a struggle to keep the padlocks off the gates.
You say you're up for a challenge.
All most our kids leave school with is an ASBO or a bun in the oven.
How many pupils are currently on behaviour agreements? Mm? The seriously disruptive.
You presumably try to progress them through the stages.
Well, this is it, Andrew.
This is the task ahead, right? Why I think I've found the right man to help me turn the place around.
Cheers, darling.
You'd be prepared to give me a free hand, then? And your full support? Absolutely.
Whatever it is you need, you tell me.
OK.
Deal.
I accept.
Delighted, Andrew.
And you can start in a month? - Don't see why not.
- In that case, welcome to Waterloo Road.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
Can you tell him we want to change table three and say I'll call him back at lunch time? Yes.
Clarkson.
Right.
Fine.
Thank you.
Meetings and Events aren't available before 9:30.
Anyway, you agree, don't you? If anyone needs to be sat right at the far end Aren't you having any breakfast? I'm looking for support here, Tom, or your Uncle Reg could spoil the wedding.
He's not worth crying over.
What, you don't think your Uncle Reg's personal hygiene's a problem? Lorna, I I'm the problem, aren't I? At last! I've had to worry about every little detail to get this organised on time, which I haven't complained about.
- Maybe it would be better to cancel it.
- Cancel it? Well, seriously, if it's causing you so much stress.
I'm hardly not coping with it, am I? Luckily for you, Tom Clarkson, I'm a very organised person.
"Cancel the wedding"! Your brother's already in the air.
(Chatting) Fares.
Fares! - Aah! Hey! - Hand it over.
Erm, I think you'll find that belongs to him.
I just need their fares.
- What's your problem, mate? - I saw you take it.
- Tell him to pay up.
- Keep that mouth of yours shut.
- Hand it over and pay up.
- This is mine.
He'll tell you, innit, Stephen? - (Groans ) - Innit it, Stephen? It's Donte's.
One, please.
Did you hear me? He's got this boy's ticket.
The police might want to be involved in this.
- What? - Theft and assault.
There are plenty of witnesses.
You saw this boy kick this other boy, didn't you? - Well, what about you? - See? You can go and shove it.
I think not.
Could you dial 999, please? Hey, get off! - Mika, will you have some toast? - No, I said.
- Well, what about a banana? - Mum.
Chopped up with some yoghurt.
Mm, lovely.
You're always nagging.
No wonder Dad left.
Yeah.
Had nothing to do with his 23-year-old bimbo.
- Well, why can't he come back? - Mika, I'm sorry, but he doesn't want to.
What? Are you saying you'd let him if he did? - Mika - (Sighs ) Oh Mum, can I have half of next week's pocket money now? - Forget it, Chlo.
- But I wanna buy someone a present.
I know who you wanna spend your money on and I wish you'd grow out of him.
Well, you don't have to fancy who I fancy, do you? I know, darling, but he's just not good enough for you.
Come on, we've got to get going.
Fetch your things.
(Shrieking) (Siren ) You're a dead man, mister! I presume you're aware of what happens if you lie to the police? - Problem? - Er, yes.
Hello, Officer.
Theft and assault.
On this chap here.
- I've made a citizen's arrest.
- Oh, yeah? He's a liar, yeah? He assaulted me! That's not true, is it, Stephen? - Tell the truth.
- Let the lad speak for himself.
Well Donte kicked me.
And then he stole my buss pass an' all.
Right.
And you are? Donte Charles.
This is the last time I'll have to introduce myself as Miss Dickey.
- Hey? - To our new deputy headmaster.
Well, maybe I'll just say I'm Lorna Clarkson.
After all, I soon will be.
- Don't do that.
- You think it's bad luck? You're even more of a worrier than me.
- Look, Lorna - How's his fancy footwork coming along? No match for mine yet.
I might have to marry you instead, Izzie.
Don't worry, I'll slap him into shape.
You, lunch-time detention.
Should we invite the deputy headmaster to the reception? - Lorna - We're going to be seeing him every day.
just calm down, yeah? But if he's good-looking and single yes, please.
(Girls) Morning, Mr Clarkson.
I'll catch you later.
Listen, Lorna, we can't do this.
I can't marry you.
- What? - I mean it.
- (Bell) - I can't.
It's not right.
- What? - I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
How can a whole busload of kids simply disappear? It's like something out of bloody Doctor Who.
Mystery over.
- What's happened? - Donte Charles has been arrested.
Settle down.
(Chatting continues ) - I said settle down! - (All go quiet) jade, Kayleigh, give out the textbooks.
(Tom ) So, who do we think we're supposed to blame? Or do we think it wasn't really anybody's fault? Because what went wrong was all down to fate.
Like when Gareth Southgate missed that penalty.
Mr Clarkson, could I have a quick word, please? - Miss Dickey wants a quickie! - (Laughter) All right.
Discuss.
- You've got to tell me you're joking, Tom.
- We can't do this now.
Four years we've been planning this.
You can't just suddenly cancel it.
I just want to do what's best for us.
Lorna, honestly, I just don't think things are gonna work out for us any more.
- It's because of me, isn't it? - No! - You think I've been turning into a wife.
- I'm not blaming you for anything.
I've been so uptight trying to make everything so perfect.
It's not just the wedding.
Look, I promise you, I'm just gonna lighten up and enjoy it.
I mean, who cares where your Uncle Reg sits? All I care about is you and me being happy together.
This is it.
I can't make you happy any more Of course you can.
You'll make me the happiest woman in the world.
Lorna, it's it's over.
Not just the relationship, the wedding It's me.
I'm not in love with you.
- Sit down.
- (Door shuts ) Yes, I know who Donte Charles is.
I just want you to know I'm gonna flay him alive when I get hold of him.
- Hello.
Is Mr Rimmer? - On the phone.
And you are? Yes, we do care about the behaviour of our pupils.
I think I'd better Look, we're sorry about your bus schedule being interrupted! You'll just have to knock louder.
Look, we are not in a position to offer compensation.
I don't think Mr Rimmer's going to take too kindly to you listening in on his private conversations.
(Angrily) Yes? Who is it? Why don't you get the bloody parents to pay? They're the ones who brought them up.
You can't be serious.
From what I understand, this was a minor incident that's been blown out of all proportion by some daft, have-a-go hero.
Erm, Headmaster Do what you want, then.
joker.
Trying to tell me they're not gonna bus our children to school.
I'm sorry about being late.
You know, I brought you here to set an example and on your first day The, er have-a-go hero.
- You're winding me up, aren't you? - I witnessed a crime.
I felt duty-bound to intervene.
Your duty is to this school and to this headmaster.
Haven't we also got a duty to the pupils? I mean, to face them with the consequences of their actions.
Listen, Andrew, this school is bang-slap in the middle of hoodlum-land.
It may not suit the educational psychologists to say it, but it's a hard fact.
- Nicking a bus ticket, well, it's - Acceptable? It's not worth giving me a bloody headache over.
(Mobile ) jack Rimmer.
Oh, great, the Rochdale Gazette.
Yes, I am aware of the incident.
Yeah, of course we have an anti-bullying strategy! Police have got an anti-crime strategy - doesn't stop it happening.
I am not being complacent! (Shouting) Er, Mr Budgen? Andrew Treneman.
Sorry you had to take my class.
That was good timing.
Hi.
Erm, I just thought I'd introduce myself.
Kim Campbell.
Head of Pastoral Care.
- Welcome to Waterloo Road Comp.
- Glad to be here.
- So, a bit different from your old school?.
- just a bit.
I think you'll find that the children here don't really like being regimented.
They must be different from all the other children I've taught, then.
Yeah, it might be a little bit of a shock.
But don't let me put you off.
You go right ahead and OK.
I went, "I'm coming after you, mate.
" He was wetting himself.
What's your old man gonna say? Reckon he'll be well wound up, man.
I do mean proper.
(Laughs, yells) Hey, let's see what it feels like.
You.
Not too Together till death.
Are you trying to take advantage of me cos I'm drunk? Are you telling me there's somebody else? Tell me.
Is there somebody else? - No, I - You liar! - Tell me.
Is there somebody else? - No.
About lunch time.
We'll have to do it in the art room, the gym's got their chairs out.
Lorna? (Sighs ) He can't mean it, Lorna.
It doesn't make any sense.
- Do you think he's got someone else? - No.
I think he's totally committed to you.
- Maybe it's just last-minute nerves.
- There's got to be something else.
There's got to be something that he's not telling you.
- Oh, my god, Izzie.
- What? - It couldn't be cancer, could it? - What? His father had prostate cancer last year.
- Tom thought it might be hereditary.
- Come on.
Surely if he'd got cancer, he would have told you that.
Look, go home and I'll get somebody to cover your class.
- Will you talk to him, Izzie? - Course I will.
I'll kill myself if he leaves me.
Lorna, I'll talk to him and find out what's going on, I promise.
Oh God (Yelling, laughing) Outside! - What? - Outside, please.
(Grumbling) I want an orderly queue formed here, please.
My name is Mr Treneman and I'm your new deputy head.
(All) Oooh! I'm also here to help teach you English.
- Who is Sarah Gilbert? - Yeah.
- Down the front there, please.
- Saddo.
- Kelly Cathcart? - Here.
Down the front the other side, please.
Er, sir, my name's Stacey Walsh and me and Kelly always sit together.
Yes, you always get grade Es together, too.
Third desk on the right, please.
Kevin Hogan? Back left, please.
- Nadia Adamson.
- Here, sir.
Second desk in the middle.
Mark Hines? Anthony Hedges.
Louise Pallit.
Louise Pallit? Ben Crossley.
Third desk on the right, please.
You right at the front.
This is a load of crap, man.
Oh, dear.
My first detention.
What, a detention just for saying "crap"? (Laughter) For speaking when I haven't asked you to.
That's a hard-and-fast rule of mine.
If you want to say something, you put up your hand.
Other than that, I expect silence.
You'll use lunch time to catch up on your spelling.
- No way, man! - You've just broken my rule again.
- Tomorrow we'll do some comprehension.
- You're picking on me! Gosh, we are going to be seeing a lot of each other.
If I were you, I'd want to keep at least one lunch break free this week.
I'm sorry Donte's interrupted your lesson.
I hate to think of your parents' hard-earned taxes going to waste, so let's get on, shall we? OK, ladies and gentlemen, exercise books out, please.
(Beeping) (Mobile ) Dad? There's this new teacher and he's picking on me.
You really are a pest, Charles.
You can have this back on Friday.
- I was speaking to me dadI - I don't care who you were speaking to.
And will you please ask your dad not to call during my class? If we hadn't been gazumped, we'd be enrolling her in Kingsbury College today.
Well, you'll be pleased to hear that we've just poached their Head of English for my new deputy.
Andrew Treneman.
Yes, we know.
It's the only reason Nicholas persuaded me to give you a trial.
Well, we'll be delighted to offer Lucy a place here, Mrs Seymour.
Of course, we totally believe in the comprehensive system.
As so many people do, Mr Seymour.
And then they move house to avoid it.
Or they find God.
We know we're just as guilty as the next, but how can we condemn our daughter to this? in basic reading skills.
Oh, it was 55% last year, wasn't it? I'm sure Lucy's got no worries there.
The great thing about coming to a comprehensive is she's gonna see another side of life.
And it's the greatest prep going for Oxbridge these days, so I hear.
Anyway, let me show you around.
I'm sure that Mr Treneman will be keen to make your acquaintance.
I think that Scout is scared of Boo Radley at first because he's so different to her and jem and she doesn't unders Oi! - Me son wants his mobile back.
- Excuse me? - You're not gonna give it him? - Get out of my class.
- just give me son his mobile back.
- That's not gonna happen.
- It isn't a request.
- (Class ) Ooh! Can I have your attention, class? This is what's known as a thug.
You what? You Now you know why his son is a bully and a thief.
He's not a - Go on, Dad! Hit him! - (Yelling) Certainly well equipped with computers.
Yeah, one in every classroom soon.
And electronic whiteboards.
Private sector's lagging behind us there.
See? The Government's kept some of its promises.
Mm.
Maybe this place isn't so bad.
I mean, Kingsbury don't have them.
I think you'll find they're missing their Head of English, too.
(Shouting) Why don't I get Mr Treneman to come out and chat to you? Ah, Miss Haydock.
Would you like to show our guests around your new language lab? Maybe Lucy would like to try on your headphones.
- Of course, Headmaster.
- Perhaps you'd like a go.
It's a lot of fun.
- What's going on in there? - Forget it! We'll try somewhere else.
- Look, there's really no need - It's a shambles, Mr Rimmer.
- Oh, er, how's Lorna? - Hey? Somebody said she'd had to go home.
Another of her migraines? Oh.
Right.
Thanks.
Right, well, I hope she feels better soon.
(Cheering) Let me just you wait! - Untie me bloody hands! - Out! What are you lot laughing at? This is gonna come in useful, after all.
Yes.
Police, please.
The stupid prat, man.
He made a right arse of himself, and me.
- Been brilliant to have seen it.
- Suppose he goes down for it? No, your dad'll do him if he presses charges.
- Look, I'd better go.
- just tell the snobby git to get lost.
- Oh, yeah, get another load of detention.
- Bothered? D'you want me to tell him? No.
If he's chucked me dad in the nick, I'll slit his throat for him.
Snooty little sod didn't even have an apology for me.
job should have been yours, mate.
There's no two ways.
Mm, Treneman's welcome to it.
So long as he doesn't go doubling my workload.
If you ask me, we need to recruit a division of the Paras if they want us to drill anything into those little brickheads.
Tom.
Hi, Grantly.
We need a chat.
- A pint of lager, please.
- And another for me, mate, please.
- Grantly? - Mm-mm.
I'm off to lose a tenner.
- Have you got cancer? - What? - just Have you, Tom, or not? - No, of course I haven't.
Have you got any other disease or medical problem? Not that I'm aware of.
Well, then, you've definitely got somebody else, haven't you? Come on, Tom, don't muck about.
Since when does a bloke blow out a relationship and a shared mortgage to go and cope on his own? - I haven't got somebody else.
- Then why the hell can't you marry Lorna? I told her why.
Well, then, you'd better sit down and tell me.
Because this is not stacking up.
Stupid - Sergeant Hendy.
- That's all I need.
- Make a habit of this, do you? - I'd rather leave it to you chaps.
Dear, oh dear, Clarence.
Been throwing your weight around again? Three times he punched my colleague here, - in front of a classroom of 16-year-olds.
- That right? Oh, by the way, you do not have to say anything, but anything you do say No, don't bother.
I'm guilty, I hit him.
He's a tosser.
I confess, all right? Not surprising, given there were 30 witnesses.
Well, that was easy.
Take him down the station and charge him.
Get off.
Get off.
With his previous, you won't be seeing him again this side of 2010.
Good.
Erm, I'd better be getting back to my classroom.
- I've got Donte Charles in detention.
- Great.
More hassle.
- Sorry? - I was off my truck, recruiting you.
Here half a day and that's the second time you've had the police round.
- I'm sorry? - I had two reject parents from your Kingsbury College in this morning, this close to their daughter giving us a boost up the league table until they heard the rumpus from your classroom.
- You lost them.
- No, you lost them! Are you trying to sabotage me? I'm trying to help you establish zero tolerance of bad behaviour! That's how you'll attract middle-class parents - by laying down some rules and damn well sticking to them.
Which is what I'm off to do.
You carry on like this, you'll have a punch-up every week! If that's what it takes.
I've got the stomach for it.
But if every decision I take is going to be undermined by the very person who should be giving me his support Look, Izzie, this is none of your business.
It's between me and Lorna.
I've just had to try and talk her out of killing herself.
I'm supposed to be her bridesmaid on Saturday.
I've been involved in every sodding detail of your wedding from day one.
I'm sorry.
You don't suddenly tell the woman you're marrying you're not in love with her.
What the hell else do you do? Lie and go ahead with it? Well, you're obviously lying about something.
- I thought I loved her, didn't I? - What? And then suddenly, this morning, you realised you didn't? No, not just like It's obviously myself I've been lying to.
I feel sick about it.
If you'd been having second thoughts, you should have said something to Lorna straight off.
I'm just trying do the right thing by her now.
I hope one day she'll be glad about it.
Get real.
There is someone else, isn't there? Fine.
If you wanna make me say it - Yeah, there is.
- Oh, jesus, Tom.
I knew it.
Who is it? If you're so bloody clever, you should be able to work it out, shouldn't you? Work out what? - Izzie.
Izzie, wait! - Sod off, Tom.
- You said I should've talked about it.
- Yeah, go and talk to Lorna.
Look, please We can't leave it like this.
Well, I can.
just don't you ever tell Lorna what you've just told me.
It's the truth.
I love you.
- Rubbish.
- I want you to tell me the truth now.
Tell me what you really feel about me.
Don't you dare think of blaming any of this on me.
Andrew, can I have a quick word? Erm I'd rather you didn't use my first name in front of the pupils.
What, a state secret, is it? Perhaps you haven't heard of the old proverb, "Familiarity breeds contempt.
" Mm no.
No, you got me there.
Maybe I should have gone to a posh school like yours.
Whatever advantages I've had, I'm trying to share them with these kids.
Beginning to understand why you got a punch in the mouth.
Wait a minute! I haven't got time to discuss your hang-ups.
I need to speak to Donte.
I've had his social worker on and he's got to go into care tonight.
Crikey.
- Why? - Because his father's in a police cell.
He's a single parent.
Er, the mother walked out four years ago.
- He's brought his son up on his own.
- Oh.
Did you not think of the consequences before you decided to confront him? He assaulted me.
What is it here? You've lost sight of what's right and wrong.
Excuse me, I'm not gonna be lectured.
These kids know they can create hell and get away with it, thanks to teachers like you explaining it away.
Have you any idea what we're dealing with at Waterloo Road? are from single-parent homes.
- It doesn't mean they shouldn't behave.
- No, it doesn't.
But it causes difficulties.
God knows what percentage are on drugs.
We've got the highest underage pregnancy rate in the whole country.
- Basically, we're talking poverty.
- If you lower your expectations of what poor kids can achieve, they'll stay poor.
Yeah, and meanwhile, in the real world, we've got a kid about to go into care because of your back-to-basics rubbish.
Oh, another statistic for you.
Over 50% of kids in care end up in prison, so well done, Andrew.
You've made such a difference already.
Kim.
Obviously, I don't want the boy put into care.
(Bell) - Hi.
We're looking for Clarence Charles.
- Are you his lawyer? No, I'm his son's pastoral care teacher.
Kim Campbell.
This is Mr Treneman, the victim of his assault.
- Can we speak to him? - He's not the chatty type.
We've got a proposition that he'll want to listen to.
Miss Campbell, what are you doing here? Oh.
I suggest you sit down, keep your trap shut and your ears open, Charles.
We're both here for your son's benefit.
He's a thief.
Have you ever had to confiscate anything from Donte, Mr Charles? Presumably as a punishment for something.
Yeah, sometimes.
Right, well, while your child is at our school, right, we treat him like our own child.
Yeah? We care for him and, like a parent, sometimes have to discipline them.
Do you think he should've been using his phone in class? He had his reasons.
And so do 29 other pupils, which is why nobody is allowed to use their phone.
Surely you can see that.
- He called me a thug.
- That's how you behaved.
What do you call someone who punches people in the face for no good reason? Look, I'm not proud of what I done, right? I lost it.
But if my boy asks me for back-up You need anger-management classes, Mr Charles.
Yeah, and I'm gonna get 'em inside, aren't I? And while you're inside, your son is gonna be bedding down in a local-authority home.
Look I'm prepared to give you a second chance.
Drop all the charges if you're prepared to cooperate.
Today, there was a very serious assault on a member of my staff.
The man who assaulted him would like to say something.
- (Microphone feedback) - Me name's Clarence Charles.
I want to apologise to Mr Treneman, and anybody in his class, for my assault on him this morning.
I was out of order.
He could have got me sent to prison and me son, Donte, put into care.
So I'm very lucky to be let off.
Cos it's not worth it for a stupid mobile which shouldn't be used in lessons.
Right, son? And I'll see he doesn't do it again, Mr Rimmer.
I give you me word.
Thank you.
just so you know, this is now a zero-tolerance school for violence against teachers.
There's a big sign going up outside the gates - "We always prosecute violent parents.
" And we will exclude any pupil whose parents assault my staff.
So go home and tell your mums and dads.
I'm not having it.
Teachers, dismiss your tutor groups.
Thanks for saving the day, Kim.
I suppose I should thank you, too.
If you want to.
Oh, God, you're tricky.
Come on, son, let's get summat to eat.
We've got a lot to talk about, yeah? You what? You just disrespected me in front of the whole school.
Ain't going nowhere wi' you.
(Mobile ) - Hello? - Iz? It's me.
Did you speak to Tom? Yeah.
Er, Lorna, can I ring you back? I'm driving.
Sorry.
- Get out.
- For God's sake.
Please, just listen to me.
Hurry up.
I've been fighting these feelings for months.
Honest.
But it's not a daft crush.
You're the point of my day.
- I've tried to get you out of my head, but - Well, try harder.
What, that's all you've got to say? What d'you want me to say? "Move in"? I want to know what you want in your life, Izzie.
Cos I don't think I've cooked up these feelings all by myself.
D'you know, it's almost funny.
You don't know the first thing about my life.
In fact, I don't have a bloody life.
I've got a job and two kids and that's all I can cope with, so why don't you take your feelings away from me and give them back to Lorna? Now go.
OK.
All right, girls? Night, Izzie.
- What did he want? - Nothing.
- Why was he sat in our car, then? - It's none of your business.
Have you two had an argument? Mum.
Mum! - I'm talking to you.
- Well, I'm not talking to you.
Mum, are you gonna make us something? Er, yeah, just a minute.
Tom.
Bloody Tom.
(Phone ) Iz? Iz, I'm really sorry to bother you again but I have to know.
Did you speak to Tom? Yeah, I did.
And you're gonna have to promise me that you won't tell Tom what I'm gonna tell you.
I think he's just worried that he's lost the old you.
Is that what he said? Yeah.
Thanks, Izzie.
Lorna? Lorna? Come here.
I just want to prove to you that being married doesn't mean not sexy.
- Look, what I said today - I know I've been hung up lately.
- But not any more, I promise.
- I don't think this is a good idea.
Your foxy lady's back and she wants her man.
- I've got some marking to do.
- You're nearly as bad as me.
Come on, tiger.
You see? You do still love me.
(Tom sighs ) I need a shower.
Izzie, it's me.
I need to hear you tell me one more time, just to be sure.
Is there any chance for me with you? Any chance at all?.
Hello? Is this clear enough for you, Tom? You've got no chance.
Truth is, I just don't fancy you.
- (Crowd) Hooray! - Hooray! (Wolf-whistles ) To my big brother, Ian, for coming all the way over from Sydney, Australia, to be the best man.
To my nieces, Katy and Sarah, for being such beautiful bridesmaids.
And, erm for all her hard work and unstinting support the best woman, and our best friend, Izzie.
Only she knows how much Lorna and I owe her for helping us be here today.
She's been our rock and, er Well, she knows.
So, ladies and gentlemen, if you'll join me in raising your glasses.
To the best man and the bridesmaids.
(All) Best man and bridesmaids.
- (Snoring) - (Laughter on TV) (TV on ) (Mobile beeping) We should all have been at this wedding.
(Man ) Your mum said you didn't want to go.
Didn't wanna go cos she wouldn't go with you.
Can't stop me taking you out for treats, though.
We'll still have a good time.
- When? - Oh, I'll fix something up.
- Why don't you go back to Shelley, Dad? - I don't think so.
Well, why don't we all go back to Dad's? Don't be daft.
We're fine as we are here.
We are.
Flip's sake.
Mika's 16.
She could join the army and get killed in Iraq.
- Oh, thanks.
- You reckon your mother wouldn't mind? - Only watching telly.
- I'll have to check with her first.
- Who cares what she says? - Hey.
Mind you, she'll probably accuse me of spoiling her evening.
I'll just see where Shelley's at.
I'm going to my room.
I first met Lorna when we were students.
She found me crying my eyes out in the union loos, cos I'd had my handbag stolen and all I wanted to do was walk under a bus.
But Lorna said it might be better if I reported the theft, cancelled my credit cards, applied for an emergency subsistence grant and let her buy me a drink.
Well, that's my idea of a true friend.
And so is my other best mate there - Tom.
In fact I'd say he was the perfect man.
If only he'd give up Man City and support Newcastle.
Anyway they're perfect together.
So, to Lorna and Tom.
(All) To Lorna and Tom.
(Chatting) ( # Dance music) Don't they make a lovely couple? Yeah.
Great.
I reckon we will, too.
Don't you, jack? Uh? Well, I'm gonna be getting you on that dance floor, don't you worry.
And no wriggling out.
You be in bed no later than 11:30, right? Yeah, safe as, Dad.
(Yawns ) I'm knackered.
Think I might go to bed now.
- See you soon.
- See you, Dad.
Lock the door! It's done.
- Night-night, babe.
- Night.
(Mobile ) Donte? I'm free.
Finally.
(Whispers ) Great.
I'll see you in ten, babe.
May I have the honour? Oh, can you not just drop the upper-class twit act for one second? Technically, I'm middle class.
My dad's a dentist.
Twit obviously can't be helped.
Come on, sit down.
Have a drink.
Tell me something else that I don't know about you.
Well, er Did VSO in Rwanda.
That must score a merit in your books.
From Rwanda to Waterloo Road.
You like a challenge, don't you? Actually, I'd much rather everyone just did things my way.
Oh, I don't intend on giving you an easy life.
I gathered that.
D'you fancy a twirl, Kim? I'm all right.
Thank you.
Ta.
- You've been so brilliant, Izzie.
- Oh, shh No, you have.
We wouldn't even be here today if it wasn't for you.
Oh, come on.
Tom would have come to his own senses.
Anyway, he did.
And that's what matters.
Talk about scary, though.
I should have expected him to do a last-minute wobbly on me, though.
D'you remember his 25th? He wouldn't let me send out invites.
It's like he's allergic to even saying the word "tomorrow".
Well, he signed up for it today.
Look, erm, I'd better go and check on jimmy and the girls.
jimmy, is everything OK? What? Wait a minute, I can't hear what you're saying.
What? What d'you mean, you've gone home? (DJ) And here's one to get you all in the romantic mood.
Ooh! - I think you've had enough, Miss Haydock.
- No, I haven't! (Car horn ) Yeah, I'm coming! Tell Mum I've gone to bed.
- You've had it, Chlo.
- Yeah, yeah.
Hurry up, Chlo, come on.
You're looking fine, girl.
(Girl) Come on, Chlo, what you waiting for? - Your carriage awaits, my lady.
- Thank you.
- You all right? - Yo! Yo! Yo! Fasten your seat belts, man! - It's time to party! - Whoo! Izzie? I thought you'd quit the fags.
Yeah, well, I lied, didn't I? What's up? just the usual.
jimmy.
I've got to get back to the girls.
I've called a cab.
Like I told you, my mess of a life.
Anything I can do for you, Izzie Any time.
All I said today about you and Lorna I meant it.
I just want you both to be really happy.
I know that.
And I'm really gonna try and make it work.
Well, you better had.
- Oh, just sod off, will you? - Please.
(Car draws up) - No, no! What am I doing? - Izzie, wait.
Hold that cab.
Miss Redpath, can you drop Miss Haydock off on your way home? - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Right, OK.
- Ooh-ooh! Good night.
- (Girl laughing) You all right, Chlo? - I am.
Are you? Chlo, you're looking sexy tonight, girl! - Turn the music up, man.
- Come on, turn it up! - All right, chill, chill.
- This song is well good! Is that loud enough? - Come on! Up a bit more! - Louder! There you go.
That's what I'm talking about, man! But, see, the problem with you is that you don't even think you've got a problem.
Education isn't a science.
You can't just bung x and y together and get z.
All children are different.
Are they? I like to emphasise what makes them the same.
- But you Oh, you can't! - Sorry.
Andrew.
- Yes? - Are you sober? Yes.
Why? Well, I'm not.
And I've just had a call from the cops.
There's been some incident at the school.
- Hey, Chlo, you drinking tonight? - Hell, yeah! Attagirl, man! - Hey, Chlo, come in the front.
- Yay! You all right? You getting through? (Girl) Oh, my God, Chlo, what you doing? - Whoa! Look out! - (Horn ) Cool! You idiot! (Laughing) Police said it was three teenagers from the estate.
Every blasted thing they could swing a hammer at.
Pretty purposeful.
Izzie's Year 8s worked on this for weeks.
You see what we're up against now? This is the aggro we have to deal with, day in, day out! just fill in another insurance claim, that's all you can do! If I could get me hands on the little scumbags now! I've had it up to here with 'em! - Come on.
- Look around you.
It's too late! All you can do is pick up the pieces.
What, so we just write them off, do we? - You've got no idea, have you? - Listen to yourself.
If you really don't believe that we can make a difference, resign.
Walk away.
Let them rot.
What is it with you? Why are you doing this? - Well, it's not for the money.
- Why? Because this is the career I chose.
And kids like these have most need of good teachers.
Teachers who don't underestimate them.
There's plenty of proof.
It's possible to turn schools like this around.
You don't know what it's like to stand in front of a class every day and to know that not one child, and I mean not one, will even reach grade E.
Well, let's make that our first task.
One grade E at Key Stage 4.
It's an improvement, isn't it? We could be really ambitious and make it a D.
The school could be closed by the end of the year, anyway.
So we have a deal?.
I can't make deals without a drink in me hand.
- You've had too much to drink, man! - I can't hear you.
What you saying? Yes! (All talking at once ) (Horn ) What are you doing in there? Having a fight? I broke a glass and knocked the bin.
Sorry.
Oh, it's just as well I'm not waiting to lose my virginity tonight.
Blame Grantly Budgen.
No wonder his wife eats for two.
All he does is drink.
It's funny you should say that.
Because somebody else is eating for two now.
Nobody can say that's why we got married, can they? Because you couldn't have been forced by a fact you didn't know about.
That's why I made myself wait until tonight.
So I knew you really wanted to marry me.
What are you saying? I'm pregnant.
You're going to be a father, Tom.
I don't want some poxy rose! I just want my twin brother! I just want my brother back! You snidey cow! - You don't talk to her like that! - I'll talk to her how I want! - Feeling naughty, Miss Haydock? - (Shrieks )