We Three Queens (2023) s01e01 Episode Script
Ian
1
("Queen of the Night Aria" by
Mozart)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
- Jesus!
- Oh, my God!
(cup clattering)
- Delores!
- What are you doing?
- Oh, my God, Delores.
Get out!
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands ♪
Clap, clap ♪
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands ♪
Clap, clap ♪
If you're happy and you know
it ♪
Then your face will surely
show it ♪
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands ♪
Clap, clap ♪
- So everything's good, Ian?
- Yeah, think so, why?
(plastic wrapping rustling)
- You're not having any
trouble with the kids?
- Um.
(plastic wrapping rustling)
Basil threw a stick at me last
week.
- Oh.
- Branch,
it was actually more of
a branch, but I'm fine.
- I'm, I'm sorry, well,
we'll have a word with him.
- Oh, it's okay, we worked it
out.
- [Julie] It's actually not
okay, honey.
- Look familiar?
- That's my phone.
- Yeah, I've had it since
yesterday.
- That explains why I haven't
been getting any calls.
(Ian laughing)
- Paris took it home with her,
Ian.
- Come to think of it, I
found a rock in my pocket.
- Do you realize that it
doesn't have a password?
- I'm an open book.
- Some of the kids went through
it, Ian
and they saw some very
lewd photographs and
conversations.
It's not super funny, honey.
- Actually, it's disgusting.
"I want your thick cock
to pulsate hot seed
down the back of my throat."
- Oh, wow, did I write that?
(laughing)
- "I want you to felch your hot
load
out of my tight, little bussy
and spit it in my greedy face
hole."
- Okay. (laughing)
It's so hot. (laughing)
It's hot.
- My nine-year-old daughter
wants to know what a bussy is,
Ian.
- Oh, it's just what you call a
guy's-
- No!
I don't need you to explain it
to me.
Jesus.
- Listen, we get it, we get it,
okay.
Val, she used to be a swinger.
It's, it's about
protecting the kids, honey.
- Is it my fault that
Paris stole my phone?
- Yes, you are the adult, Ian,
it's your job to watch over
them.
- Oh, believe me, I'm
always watching over them.
If you're happy and you know
it ♪
- No, no, no, no, no.
If you're happy and you
know it, stomp your feet ♪
- Okay, okay, listen.
I just made a mistake,
okay, plain and simple.
If you're happy and you
know it, stomp your feet ♪
Stomp, stomp ♪
If you're happy and you know
it ♪
- Here's the thing, Ian.
Hooray ♪
- How are we going to trust
you to take care of our kids,
when clearly you cannot
take care of yourself?
Then your face will surely
show it ♪
If you're happy and you
know it, shout hooray ♪
- I'm not really good at this.
- Do you want a tissue?
- Do you have one?
Clicked. (laughing)
(phone clattering)
("Queen of the Night Aria" by
Mozart)
- [Ian] That's expensive.
- [Valerie] Just catch it
in your tight, little bussy.
- [Ian] Thank you.
("Queen of the Night Aria" by
Mozart)
(opera singing continues)
(opera singing continues)
("Queen of the Night Aria" by
Mozart)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
(opera singing continues)
(lovers breathing heavily)
- Jesus!
- Oh, my God!
(cup clattering)
- Delores!
- What are you doing?
- Oh, my God, Delores.
Get out!
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands ♪
Clap, clap ♪
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands ♪
Clap, clap ♪
If you're happy and you know
it ♪
Then your face will surely
show it ♪
If you're happy and you
know it, clap your hands ♪
Clap, clap ♪
- So everything's good, Ian?
- Yeah, think so, why?
(plastic wrapping rustling)
- You're not having any
trouble with the kids?
- Um.
(plastic wrapping rustling)
Basil threw a stick at me last
week.
- Oh.
- Branch,
it was actually more of
a branch, but I'm fine.
- I'm, I'm sorry, well,
we'll have a word with him.
- Oh, it's okay, we worked it
out.
- [Julie] It's actually not
okay, honey.
- Look familiar?
- That's my phone.
- Yeah, I've had it since
yesterday.
- That explains why I haven't
been getting any calls.
(Ian laughing)
- Paris took it home with her,
Ian.
- Come to think of it, I
found a rock in my pocket.
- Do you realize that it
doesn't have a password?
- I'm an open book.
- Some of the kids went through
it, Ian
and they saw some very
lewd photographs and
conversations.
It's not super funny, honey.
- Actually, it's disgusting.
"I want your thick cock
to pulsate hot seed
down the back of my throat."
- Oh, wow, did I write that?
(laughing)
- "I want you to felch your hot
load
out of my tight, little bussy
and spit it in my greedy face
hole."
- Okay. (laughing)
It's so hot. (laughing)
It's hot.
- My nine-year-old daughter
wants to know what a bussy is,
Ian.
- Oh, it's just what you call a
guy's-
- No!
I don't need you to explain it
to me.
Jesus.
- Listen, we get it, we get it,
okay.
Val, she used to be a swinger.
It's, it's about
protecting the kids, honey.
- Is it my fault that
Paris stole my phone?
- Yes, you are the adult, Ian,
it's your job to watch over
them.
- Oh, believe me, I'm
always watching over them.
If you're happy and you know
it ♪
- No, no, no, no, no.
If you're happy and you
know it, stomp your feet ♪
- Okay, okay, listen.
I just made a mistake,
okay, plain and simple.
If you're happy and you
know it, stomp your feet ♪
Stomp, stomp ♪
If you're happy and you know
it ♪
- Here's the thing, Ian.
Hooray ♪
- How are we going to trust
you to take care of our kids,
when clearly you cannot
take care of yourself?
Then your face will surely
show it ♪
If you're happy and you
know it, shout hooray ♪
- I'm not really good at this.
- Do you want a tissue?
- Do you have one?
Clicked. (laughing)
(phone clattering)
("Queen of the Night Aria" by
Mozart)
- [Ian] That's expensive.
- [Valerie] Just catch it
in your tight, little bussy.
- [Ian] Thank you.
("Queen of the Night Aria" by
Mozart)
(opera singing continues)
(opera singing continues)