Westside (2018) s01e01 Episode Script

1 [siren wailing in distance.]
[helicopter whirring.]
[Sean.]
Here in LA it's very easy to get used if you're young and beautiful.
It's a really dark world.
[Caitlin.]
I really feel like I'm choking on all these things that I have to say, but just keeping them to myself.
[Austin.]
I feel the most comfortable standing out.
[Taz.]
I'd been in and out of girl groups.
I was singing stuff that I didn't even believe in.
This is my time to just be like, "Who is Taz?" [James.]
I want to sing because I feel so alive and electric and powerful.
I'm a bad motherfucker.
I'm tired of acting like I'm not.
[cries.]
[Pia.]
I've been a household name with American Idol and having a record deal.
And then I was struggling to pay my rent.
[Leo.]
Doing nothing has always been my biggest fear.
I want to achieve my ultimate goal.
But there's a part of me that's afraid.
[Alexandra.]
I needed to leave it all behind for my art.
For the best version of myself.
[Arika.]
I would get just so angry at myself.
Angry with God, for putting me in this situation of being so alone.
[Sean.]
I reached a point where I was like, "Do I want this or not?" The only time anything has ever happened for me is when I've done something myself.
I would love to have you be the music director.
[Keith.]
If we wanna have 20 badass songs, we better write 50 songs.
[Sean.]
It's my turn.
This is my last shot.
And after this I'm hanging my hat up.
There is a timeline.
A fuse has been lit.
[James.]
You want me to get in line and be your little bitch? - I understand - [James.]
Fuck off.
- You're gonna walk out? - You're fucking me up! [James.]
He's not someone that I think I want to continue having in the show.
[Keith.]
This is the huge fucking thing that he's been pushing towards! - [James.]
I wanna get fucked up right now.
- I'm very angry! You need to be an asshole sometimes, because life is an asshole.
Why do I get to be the lucky one who gets to share themselves in the hopes that maybe it will resonate for someone else? [Pia sobbing.]
I don't wanna do anything else besides sing.
That is what I love to do.
It's my outlet.
It's like all I know.
[siren wailing in distance.]
[Sean.]
When I first moved here, I lived in West Hollywood.
One night, I was leaving a restaurant I saw a long line, cameras flashing.
And when I looked up, I saw One Oak.
And I thought to myself, this is where I need to be.
So I came up with a concept to create a live show at a nightclub.
A place where art and commerce can meet.
Now, the next step is putting it all together and producing my show.
- [Taz.]
Hi.
- [Sean.]
How are you? Good to see you.
Hi.
I'm Taz.
Nice to meet you.
- [Sean.]
Pia, Cait, Taz.
- Hi! - [Caitlin.]
Nice to meet you.
- Hi, guys.
This is the dream team.
- Hi, I'm Austin.
- Hi, I'm Caitlin.
This, I really love.
[Alexandra.]
Nice to meet you.
[Taz.]
Dang, you're more blinged-out than I am.
[Sean.]
I'm really excited that you guys are all here.
- [Pia.]
None of us are alike at all.
- [Sean.]
No.
I love dogs.
I like 'em more than people.
Do you remember how I was when you first met me? - [James.]
You were not nice to me.
- Exactly.
- All I wanted to do was be your friend.
- Exactly.
[laughs.]
- You were so hard to get to know.
- I know.
[Sean.]
Putting the right talent together is a talent within itself.
Being a producer is a skill I'm fine-tuning.
I really think I've been put on this earth to be the anchor for other people.
I'm blown away by with how fascinating and different each person is.
I want everyone to introduce themselves.
My name is Taz.
Born and raised in Sylmar, San Fernando Valley.
I look Asian, but I'm definitely Mexican.
I'm really, really excited to finally meet you guys and this is really cool, and I can't wait.
I don't know how to end a sentence.
[laughs.]
Yeah, that's it.
Thank you.
Okay.
[Leo laughing loudly.]
I've been doing entertainment professionally since I was 13.
We're here to put down what we love, and do what we love for a living.
So, let's do it big.
I live in Vegas.
I'm moving back here.
But I grew up in LA.
I love singing.
I love dancing.
I don't keep secrets.
Don't be like, "I feel like I can tell you this thing that I don't want anyone to know.
" I'm like, "I'm not the one.
I can't do it.
" I have just been grinding in these streets of LA for the past seven years.
Music is literally all I have.
I ran away as a kid from a rough house life.
And I was like busking on the streets of San Diego for money when I was 14 years old.
I'm all about live music.
Real music.
I got a three-piece horn section, a full backing band.
What you see is what you get.
[Austin.]
And I don't believe you Like all miracles I'm only given one life And a heart to hold This is gonna be a fucking sick song.
People are like, "Don't worry about writing hits and whatever.
" Like, "Yeah, I fucking worry about writing hits.
It's gotta be fucking smash".
All she ever wanted Was a place to call it home She ever needed A man to keep her warm She'll believe it [Austin.]
The first thing I do when I get up, is go to my closet.
I feel beautiful when I put on heels.
Through the different trials and tribulations that I've gone through, it's finally allowed me to see myself in a comfortable, yet dazzling way.
I feel untouchable.
I was born and raised in LA, South Central, to be specific.
I got New York in my veins.
My mom's from Harlem.
Dad's from Brooklyn.
I've been singing, dancing since I was like three, so I'm ready to get into this.
All right.
I'm James.
I've been in LA for eleven years now.
I started writing songs in high school.
I got my heart broken by a girl.
She didn't want to be with me because, uh, I wasn't tall enough.
[clicks tongue.]
- So, uh [laughs.]
- [Austin.]
Damn.
Yeah, so Let's make a show, I guess.
Let's do it.
[Austin.]
Breaking on what you said about the show, I want people to see what it's really like.
- Not the bullshit, you know? [chuckles.]
- [James.]
What is it really like? What is it really like? It's It's Me going to my job for eight hours a day for four days straight.
That's the realness of it.
I'm working construction, sucker.
[laughs.]
[power drill whirring.]
[James.]
So I have this show coming up, my buddy Sean's putting together.
I'm gonna start tapering off how many days a week I'm working.
- I'd like three days a week.
- [man 1.]
Three days? I haven't had any time to practice music and stuff.
Me taking this gig to do this show Obviously, I'm so much more inspired to do that than dig a ditch or tear down a wall.
The running theme in my life is that I beat the crap out of myself all the time.
Any time I screw something up, I'm just, like, "Fuck it" Taking myself to the cleaners.
And I need to stop worrying about whether or not I'm good, and just be good.
[Alexandra.]
I'm from Southern Illinois.
A small, little farm town.
Obviously, really nervous, because I just moved out here.
I'm excited to see where all of this takes us.
And thank you, guys, for including me in this.
This stuff makes me the most nervous.
So that's like I don't You know You just feel so exposed.
I've been singing since I was four years old.
Rejection is all I know.
I've been the underdog my whole life.
Pretty much.
Like, a lot of people see things.
And, you know They'll look at my Instagram, and they'll see all this stuff and It's been hard.
It's been a roller-coaster.
[sputters lips.]
[vocalizing.]
[music playing on laptop.]
[sputtering continues.]
[David.]
Guys, hang on to your hats.
Because this girl is amazing.
This girl's got a voice on her like nobody else.
Also, just coincidentally, an Idol finalist.
But that's the least of her accomplishments these days.
Please welcome the incredible Pia Toscano.
[applause, cheering.]
- [David.]
Hey, Pia.
- [Pia.]
Thank you.
That's so sweet.
[Pia.]
I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself to make it.
I feel like there's no other choice.
Getting a record deal, and being a household name for a little while, and having that rug pulled from underneath me I feel like I always get so close.
And - I don't quite make it.
- [camera shutter clicks.]
What happens if I get really close this time, and I fail again? My goal is so much more.
I wanna sing, I wanna perform, I wanna entertain.
That's all I know how to do.
That's all I know how to do.
- [James.]
Cheers.
- Yeah.
So I thank you for bringing us all together.
- [Caitlin.]
Yeah.
- [Pia.]
Because I feel like this moment, this can actually change my life.
- [James.]
Cheers! - [all.]
Cheers to that! [Caitlin.]
Cheers, cheers It's been a long, long time Heartbreak one time, two times It's been a long, long ride My mom said I'll be fine They're coming to find me They will recognize me Someday, somewhere Someone out there Still the same sunrise I work all day, all night I don't wanna make it If I always have to fake it But I'm running out of patience Come on Come on We are the ones Fighting against the odds We are the ones Who finally figured out When it seemed we were going nowhere It was always around the corner We are the ones Fighting against the odds We are the ones It's been a winding road Got slammed, got lost, got sold Everyone I know Can't see these hard times roll But come and find me They don't recognize me Someday, somewhere Someone, up there In the end I know I still know what you know Oh, I don't wanna make it If I always have to fake it But I'm running out of patience Come on No, no, no, no, no, no We are the ones Fighting against the odds We are the ones Who finally figured out When it seemed we were going nowhere It was always around the corner We are the ones Fighting against the odds Against the odds We are the ones We are the ones We are the ones We are the ones Remember when I told you If it's meant to be will be And now I stand before you So come with me We are the ones Fighting against the odds We are the ones We are the ones Who finally figured out Figured out We are the ones Fighting against the odds We are the ones Who finally figured out When it seemed we were going nowhere It was always around the corner We are the ones Fighting against the odds Remember when I told you You never say never It was meant to be Always the center of attention Did I mention That they come with me? Yeah! We are the ones We are the ones We are the ones We are the ones We are the ones - [machine powering up.]
- [camera shutter clicks.]
[siren wailing in distance.]
[Sean.]
You sit there You think you're so fucking cool With your stupid little shirt And your goonies on your face [Sean laughs.]
And my name's Cait I like the goonies Ooh! I wear my opinions on my shirts My name's Cait My name's fucking James Who cut his hat And wrote some shit on it [normal voice.]
At least I wrote this! - [laughs.]
- [James humming.]
[Sean.]
How'd you think tonight went? - "Cheers," is how I think it went.
- [glasses clink.]
I thought it went good.
There were, uh Yeah, there were really good moments where I was like really cool.
I'm like, "This is a great idea.
" And then there were moments where I'm like, "We are not clicking.
" To be honest with you, dude, more than anything, I'm a little mad at myself.
I can't open up in group settings very well.
[Sean.]
We all know each other and everyone else doesn't really.
You guys are also, you know, my rocks in this.
[Sean.]
James and Cait are two of my best friends.
We met about two and a half years ago, working, living, and performing together on a cruise ship.
We laugh and say it was the best experience we'll never do again.
Who out of you, that was here tonight, were you guys intrigued by? - Arika.
- Really? [Caitlin.]
She was very quiet and I was like She has some shit.
She has some wisdom in that 19-year-old body.
[James.]
I think Taz is my biggest mystery.
[Caitlin.]
I know.
I wanna figure her out.
It made sense 'cause she's been in a lot of girl groups where they definitely mold the shit out of you in those places.
I really appreciated Pia kind of giving everybody else the time and encouragement to make people feel comfortable.
[Caitlin.]
I've wanted to be friends with Pia and we haven't been able to physically cross paths a lot even though we've been in Vegas.
We were talking for a while, and I was like, "Oh, my God, we are really alike in really odd ways.
" When you actually completed each other's sentences? Yeah.
- I'm really intrigued by - [Caitlin.]
Weird.
It was very weird.
[laughs.]
[all chuckle.]
There's something about everyone that I'm like - Each person has a little mystery.
- I know has a mystery.
I knew it.
- [Caitlin, James chuckle.]
- [Sean.]
Um [phone ringing.]
- [Sean.]
What you doing tonight? - [dog whines.]
[Sean.]
Cancel it.
Have you ever performed at The Study in Hollywood? Tonight, you're around, right? James.
Hey man, are you around tonight? So, I, uh, I just talked to the manager, and he is willing to give us the room to put on our own little concert and play for each other.
This can be a time for us to just fuck around and, you know, introduce ourselves, and kind of show what we're made of.
Um Are you cool with singing a couple songs? Yeah.
Yeah.
Cool, man.
All right.
I'll see you later tonight.
[Sean.]
Thank you, guys, for coming.
Tonight is about all of my talented friends sharing some music.
- Um, so, I hope you guys enjoy.
- [woman cheer.]
[Alexandra.]
How many songs are you singing? [Austin.]
They told me one, but I got ten ready.
Because my band's ready to go on a turn of a dime.
[Alexandra.]
That's so dope - that you brought the band! - [Austin.]
I was able - to get them together last minute.
- [Taz.]
I didn't even know this was even, a whole thing Like, everyone was performing here, and it was open mic and stuff like that.
- I always thought it was cool as hell.
- When they told me, I said, "Fuck it, - I'm gonna bring the whole band.
" - [laughs.]
Austin Kolbe don't do small.
We gonna set it up! [James.]
What did Austin bring with him? - Uh, an entourage.
- [James.]
Did he bring - a bunch of musicians with him? - Yeah.
[James.]
Are they all playing? [Sean.]
I I think so.
Goddamn it.
I'm not playing, then.
- Why? - 'Cause I'm not going after a band.
- Do you wanna go before him? - No.
Not playing.
What do you mean? Dude, no one said I could bring a band.
I'm not playing.
It was whatever you wanted, dude.
No it wasn't! It wasn't.
- What do you mean? - It wasn't.
Literally, I mean I'm not gonna disagree because I thought we couldn't bring anyone.
I literally thought we were gonna be in a tiny room with no one else here but us.
Guys, I said that it was just for whoever wanted to perform and sing and, kind of, do their thing.
I've never been to an open mic with a full band.
This is not about fucking competing with everyone.
- No, it's not.
- So why would you not It's not a competition.
I'm just saying I don't go and do a little chanky guitar song after someone plays in a band.
- It's not about a competition.
- [Sean.]
Go before, then.
Nope.
Not happening.
Are you fucking with me or are you being serious? - I'm being serious.
- You're not even gonna go before? Not playing.
Just because you don't Leo's just playing by his guitar.
That's nice.
That's real nice.
If you had it your way, you'd have a whole band? Yeah.
- Well, I'm sorry for any - I'll make a quick phone call, - get a whole band in here.
- Yes, see who you can get here.
I see both sides, honestly.
[chattering.]
No, I mean Not that I mean, he should play.
I think that's dumb.
But I've literally never seen a full band at an open mic night before.
Okay, I'll fucking get up there and, uh, sing karaoke a cappella, and then he can suck it.
[Leo playing guitar.]
Open a new door Rain come down Is there any way I can convince you all to come over here and play a song with me? [Leo.]
No rain, no ice Standing low All we’ll ever Know is love [clears throat.]
All right.
Well, you know, it's [sighs.]
If it's just guitar and bass, it's not the same, you know? [laughs.]
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ah! [song stops.]
[man in crowd.]
Yeah! Thank you.
- [crowd cheering, applauding.]
- [Leo chuckles.]
- [Sean.]
Did you get anyone? - [James.]
No.
Okay.
Then don't sing.
Honestly, if you don't wanna sing, don't sing.
- I'd love to sing - I'll sing.
It's fine.
I'm just gonna have another drink.
[Austin.]
It's pretty, like, chill tonight.
We're just gonna get this motherfucker turned up in here.
- [Alexandra.]
Yes! - So feel free to let your fucking freak flag fly, you know what I'm saying? Hit it with me now [drums beating.]
[cheering.]
Hit it with me, homies Come on [cheering continues.]
I feel your fire And I was sweating I'm making me one more And never ending Baby, grab me, make love tonight And no shaming it out tonight Worry about the sweat Dripping down my hair I'm a stallion and you’re the mare I’m feeling the heat, girl I’m feeling weak, girl I'm feeling fire Burning desire Got me pulling left to right And no shaming it out tonight Don’t worry about the sweat Dripping down my hair [Taz.]
Stars! Got me pulling left to right No shaming it out tonight Don't worry about the sweat Dripping down my hair I'm a stallion, you're the mare I'm feeling the heat, girl I'm feeling weak, girl I'm feeling fire Burning desire Don't know what to say, girl You're my sweetheart Burning it down Big finish now - [song stops.]
- [all cheering, applauding.]
Yes! [shouts.]
- [Sean.]
Oh, my God.
You guys.
- [Alexandra.]
Amazing! - [Sean.]
All right.
- [cheering, applause.]
[Sean.]
Wow.
Holy cow.
Who do we have up next? Do we have James? So, this guy [voice echoes.]
is a very dear friend of mine.
I met him on [normal voice.]
He's one of the real deals.
So, uh, without further ado, um, this is James Byous.
[all cheering, applauding.]
[strums guitar.]
- [Caitlin.]
Yeah, James! - [Leo.]
Yeah, James! [clapping.]
Oh, man, that sounds awful.
- [strumming continues.]
- [Leo laughs.]
All right, listen.
I had a couple drinks.
You probably couldn't have paid me not to.
I don't do good in big crowds, y'all.
I just [sighs.]
[strums guitar.]
[James.]
I get really anxious.
- Anybody else have problems with that - [woman cheers.]
anxiety? [woman in crowd.]
Yes! Okay.
That's gonna have to be good enough.
Check this out.
[strumming.]
Well, I ain’t got no fight Left in me anymore And I'm tired of killing my mind In the trenches Of this here lover's war And the truth is not setting me free It's just making me feel like a jerk I try hard not to self-medicate But it's the only thing that works - [Carly.]
No shit! - [Leo.]
Yes! To help me feel really good Till I come free But they are, like, I'm understood 'Cause ain't that the way Life is supposed to be [James humming.]
[Alexandra.]
How did you think last night went? [Austin.]
I thought it was good.
It was interesting.
[Alexandra.]
You and your huge band.
I kinda wanted to show off a little bit too.
The way I perform, it's like I was showing what was up.
Creating together.
I feel like we're gonna need that honesty and authenticity.
Everybody's gonna have to be their selves in order to get to know each other as quickly as we have to and to work together.
[Austin.]
I think there are some people that aren't down - to be honest and be themselves.
- [Alexandra.]
Right.
I've always been surrounded by people that, you know, say they are one thing and really aren't.
So I'm always [chuckles.]
I'm always I guess I'm like, my guard is to always call people out on their shit.
You're ugly.
- Oh! - [both laugh.]
I love you, too.
Thank you so much.
Holy shit! She's walking into That's Hollywood, though, for you.
[Alexandra.]
Gosh.
What's happening? [Austin.]
That's like the least crazy you'll see.
[Austin.]
That's the kind of honesty we need.
[Alexandra.]
Everyone's like, why would you go to LA and not go to Nashville? That doesn't make any sense.
Well, because there's a million other people that do exactly what I do.
- There.
- That look similar.
[Austin.]
Yeah.
We're all performing the same stuff in Nashville, and it's like you're a Like a small fish in a big pond.
I hate to be a pessimist because this place is beautiful and, you know, like, LA has offered me so many opportunities.
But I think I'd be doing you a disservice if I was, like,"Yeah, it's fucking amazing and it's gonna be perfect.
" I'm gonna give it to you real.
People don't care about who the fuck you are until you have something to offerthem.
[Alexandra.]
This is a different kind of place.
I hear that everyone's out to get you.
And you need to really be careful because everyone in LA is working an angle.
It's crazy to think how something so beautiful could be so dangerous.
[siren wailing in distance.]
[Arika humming.]
[humming continues.]
[Arika.]
Ready.
- Dad! Come on! - Sorry.
It's a nice day today.
I was a child actor, and my first commercial was when I was four.
I've been so used to feeling pressure from people to be a certain type of way.
But now, I wanna come at it differently.
Because I wasn't just that girl that was on TV, and a little actress.
I gotta say something from my soul which I think is what singing is, really.
[elevator dings.]
- Hello, Michael.
- Hello, Juliet.
- [Juliet.]
How are ya? - [both.]
Mwah.
- [Juliet.]
Good to see you guys.
- [Michael.]
You too.
- I'm gonna sit outside and answer emails.
- [Juliet.]
Okay.
I found this audition.
I pulled the sides for you.
It's a lead in a CW show.
Yeah Um, I wanted to do something different on this one.
More than like the teenybopper, like the pretty high school girl.
- Darker, more intense.
- Okay.
It's great to have as an option.
But, um But there's some really good stuff out there that I would hate to, you know, close the door to.
If it fits my passion, it's like I wouldn't even need rehearsal.
Yeah.
There are a number of other auditions coming up.
My impulse at this point would be to proceed with things as normal.
- Honestly - I mean, you have to believe me.
Because it's not in my interest to tell you something that isn't true.
- That's me.
 But that's not me no more.
- That's you.
Uh-huh, yeah I am where I'm from It's a curse and a blessing A step back ain't a L It’s a lesson My OG's set Ten years later all my OGs is dead Memories stay alive in my head Till we move to the next life Poison the pressure Weed on my neck Not a thing they said I couldn't I did succeed them But trade, by God My angels only think and believing Tainted thoughts Everybody perpetrating to see them I could do the same Put my foot upon your neck, huh! Write and sit back Let intellect be my weapon Here's the truth of delusion You're out here rapping And the truth that chases To bring it back to my section No Disney channels, 16 candles Sex in the house Into a fireplace mantle But I'm away I have nothing to say 'Cause when I'm coming through Baby, I'm coming for you Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful woman Beautiful woman Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful struggle Beautiful woman I promised God That I would waste no time with this I'd die for it Only reason I'm alive Is this all you wanna be Do you have capacity Or another person Trapped in personal reality You're probably the second But I'm never second to none You can take the cake now But I'll be gone when I'm done I don't do this for fun Shall I go on playing for keeps? You sow what you reap So I gotta show for the streets If you know what I mean Then you probably been somewhere You've been kept down You know it ain't no hope down there Head up, chest out Show them what's your best bout Put on for the west But you never see me stress now No Disney channels, 16 candles Sex in the house Into a fireplace mantle Get out my way I have nothing to say 'Cause when I'm coming through Baby, I'm coming for you Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful woman Beautiful woman Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful struggle Beautiful woman I think I'm getting closer I think I finally see her On my way to be her Why would I make you meet her? I think I'm getting closer I think I finally see her On my way to be her I'm gonna make you meet Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful woman Beautiful woman Beautiful Beautiful Beautiful struggle Beautiful woman I said I am where I'm from Never changing Yup! And proud of it Uh-huh, uh-huh - Beautiful - You're beautiful - Beautiful - You're beautiful - Beautiful stranger - Yeah! Beautiful woman You beautiful woman! Yeah! [train chugging.]
[Sean.]
I've only thrown up from drinking three times.
[James.]
I did it twice last week.
[laughter.]
[Sean.]
Last night, I loved watching all of your different styles.
As I was watching, I was imagining everyone performing on stage and having their moment to shine for the actual live show.
And I was just like, "Man, I cannot wait.
" - You know? - Right.
And then Austin was pretty wild.
- [Leo.]
Dude, I love Austin.
- [Pia.]
He's just so unapologetic.
And he's just so secure - in everything that Austin is.
- Yeah.
- [Pia.]
And that's great.
- I don't buy it.
I think it was a little bit disrespectful to show up with an entire band on an open mic night where it's like "Oh, we're all just gonna get up and sing a couple songs.
" You don't bring a seven-piece band to sing a couple songs.
I was like, [imitating Austin.]
"I'm the king of the fucking world and you're a little shithead.
" That's what you're saying to me.
It's an insecurity thing.
Like, he's not okay being there.
[Sean.]
Imagine, also, like, he's so young.
And like he's gonna do everything he can to make sure that he looks the best.
[Leo.]
Like, he's 22, man.
That's why I'm not mad at him, because he's so fucking full out.
But, like, you know, I wanna have a whole band, too.
- We're not in competition with each other.
- [Leo.]
Mm-hmm.
[Sean.]
So, don't look at it like a threat or annoying.
Look at it as Why is he doing that? The reality is we're gonna work together.
You don't have to agree with him.
But you can support him.
And at least want him to be his truest self.
- Yeah.
- [Leo.]
Right.
It wasn't band night.
It was open mic night.
[chuckles.]
[Sean.]
Out of everyone that I should feel comfortable with, knowing that shit's not gonna go wrong, I should have you and James in my back pocket.
To be like, "We're good.
We're not gonna have any problems.
" And, like, day one, I have drama.
You and I are particularly - sensitive to James and his emotions.
- Well, yeah.
So we are on the same heartbeat.
If we know James is upset, or he's sulking or something's wrong We can't think about anything else except him.
I understand why he was pissed off that he didn't get to do that.
He was very dramatic and sucked the fucking air out of the room, which I don't think he realizes he has the power to do.
If I can't rely on him to be my sidekick and to support me, then I have nothing.
He's having trouble supporting himself.
Can I have some salt please? [Sean.]
Oh, don't insult my food like that.
I like sodium.
I like salt.
I'm not insulting anything.
[Sean.]
If this doesn't work, I literally have to go and fucking sell chicken at a meat factory somewhere.
You're so dramatic.
[Sean.]
This is like my last luxury passion project.
I wanna have something that kind of allows us to bond.
Not just like hanging out in my backyard, but something that breaks us all down.
And there's an acting coach.
She's a legendary legendary, huge, um, woman.
[chuckles.]
Not size-wise, but status-wise.
Um, her name is Susan Batson.
I used to work with her in New York.
And I told her about this project.
And she loves this idea.
She's excited about meeting everyone.
And she was like, "Why don't I do a one-day workshop and get to know them, and kind of do what I do with everyone, which is breaking them down and finding their truth.
" I also want something that's, you know This is really good, by the way.
You did it.
And the salt really helps.
- You're welcome.
We have a lot to do.
- [Caitlin.]
Yep.
I have to talk to Keith about our first workshop.
I have to confirm with Susan Batson, whether or not I want her to come in.
And I have to coordinate with all of you guys and your schedules.
- [Caitlin.]
And the wedding.
- And I have a wedding.
In like, three weeks.
[horn honking.]
[siren wailing in distance.]
- [Susan.]
Hello! - Hi.
[chuckles.]
How are you? It's so good to see you.
[Sean.]
Good to see you again.
How are you? Thank you for today.
- Hi.
- Hello.
How are you? [Pia.]
I'm good.
How are you? It's good.
 It's good It's good - Hello, hello - [Alexandra.]
Hi! [Susan.]
Hello Mwah.
I've been asked to try to prepare you for what you're about to do.
You're gonna take your truth, and you're gonna put it into song.
That's the responsibility that you have right now.
By any means necessary, you come to the truth.
Any Any questions about this? There are a series of exercises to help you find the character.
To try to get this stuff, this truth, into song.
Put everything that you have in you in this.
Do you understand? Commit like I don't know any other way to say it, like, a motherfucker.
Now the first exercise is a very simple exercise.
And the first exercise is to move to the music.
- [Taz.]
Is to move? - To move to the music.
- Is to what? - [Austin.]
Dance.
- To dance.
[laughs.]
- It is dance.
I'm gonna put somebody in the middle of the circle.
- And those of you who are left outside - [Sean.]
Yeah.
- have to follow.
- Oh, yeah.
[Sean.]
What you got, Taz? And if you are wondering I got it from my mamma And I don't need no help I move it how I wanna Feet don't fail me now I'm just warming up And if the beat runs out Just bring it back like karma [Arika.]
'Cause I feel something That's coming over me Gives me what I need And I don't know how I ever could describe 'Cause it's a vibe Everybody watching Got me feeling myself It's a vibe And like I'm on a high It must be bad for my health And I'm so electrified You can feel it I can see it in your eyes, baby 'Cause it's a vibe Talk to them, baby So if you move it close And get up on my clever Watch me do my thing And get up on my temper We ain't finished yet We just broke a sweat I'm always right on time So I don't need no schedule But I feel something That's coming over me Gives me what I need And I don't know how I ever could describe 'Cause it's a vibe Everybody watching Got me feeling myself It's a vibe Like I'm on a high It must be bad for health And I'm so electrified You can feel it I can see it in your eyes, baby 'Cause it's a vibe Everybody watching Got me feeling myself It's a vibe Like I'm on a high It must be bad for my health And I'm so electrified You can feel it I can see it in your eyes, baby 'Cause it's a vibe Don't stop, don't stop Don't stop, baby Feel the move it in you Yeah! Come on! Don't quit, don't quit Don't quit, baby Feel the move it in you, yeah 'Cause I feel something That's coming over me Gives me what I need And I don't know how I ever could describe 'Cause it's a vibe Everybody watching Got me feeling myself It's a vibe Like I'm on high It must be bad for my health And I'm so electrified So electrified, baby I can see it in your eyes, baby Cause it's a vibe Everybody watching Got me feeling myself It's a vibe Like I'm on a high It must be bad for my health And I'm so electrified You can feel it I can see it in your eyes - I can see it in your eyes - 'Cause it's a vibe - [applause.]
- [Susan.]
Good job, guys! Everybody up.
Up, up, up Up! I don't know how you're gonna get up, but get up.
Get up.
Get up.
Here we go.
Okay, now the next thing I wanted you to think about is a personal, private moment in your life where you needed something from someone who you could not talk to.
You just could not talk to them.
Start thinking about it.
You're gonna go back to the place where this took place.
Can you remember what time of day it was? Do you remember what time of year it was? Was it summer, winter, fall? What was the need that you had? James, what was the need that you had? [James.]
Forgiveness.
I spent the last half hour on the way over here, begging Yas not to leave me.
- Okay.
- Feeling very big right now.
- How did that go? - Not very good.
What's uh What's the general consensus in discussion? That she really needs to just think about it because I really fucked up this time.
This time? What does that mean? It's not the first time I've gotten drunk and threatened to break up with her.
Which is pretty embarrassing - to tell you right now.
- It's okay.
I didn't do that to you, did I? No, you did the exact opposite.
I was like, "We should probably break up.
" And you're like "No! But, like, it's cool though.
It's fine.
" I'm, like "You should get away from me [laughs.]
Because you need to go be alone.
" So, you left off that she's thinking about it? Yeah, she's thinking about it.
[Susan.]
Just remember, this is your truth.
This is the stuff that you want to bring to this thing.
- What's the need, Sean? - Safety.
[Susan.]
What did you need? [clicks tongue.]
Um - Answers.
- [Susan.]
Mm-hmm.
- What did you need? - Commitment.
[Susan.]
Commitment? Pia? - Closure.
- [Susan.]
Closure.
[woman laughing indistinctly.]
[Pia.]
I have to get out of the old Pia.
I can't fall back into the same old habits.
I can't be the same Pia that I was three years ago.
- I would hope not.
- Yeah.
Because everybody looks at me and they see me in this, like "Okay, she's got her shit together.
She looks like this.
And she's one-dimensional.
She's got no"You know, it's, like [Cassie.]
I yelled at you every day when you were on American Idol, dancing in a leotard on stage with a cape.
It's just it's not who you are.
I think the issue is, and has been since Idol, which is one of the reasons whyI didn't want you doing American Idol, is people have been trying to make you into something that you're not.
And you think that the person that you really are is not good enough.
[Susan.]
You're gonna go back to the place.
Austin.
Acceptance.
Who is the one person whether it's your mother or your father that you could not talk to? You're gonna try get it out now.
Just release it now.
What was it that you wanted to say or do? Arika? [man.]
How old are you, Arika? - Four.
- [man.]
You're four years old? - Yes.
[giggles.]
- [man.]
You're a good actress.
[Arika sniffles.]
I can't do it right now.
[Susan.]
Why not? We need the truth from you.
[man.]
I wanna ask you a question.
Mommy gets mad at you? Why does she get mad? Because she's angry.
[Susan.]
Try not to hold on, honey.
Try not [man.]
Why does she get angry? [young Arika.]
Because she's evil.
[man.]
Your mommy is evil? She's not nice to you? She doesn't spank you though, does she? She does spank me.
Really hard.
On my backside.
[man.]
On your backside? How did you get that boo-boo right there on your eye? My mom scratches really bad like this.
And it maked it.
[man.]
Your mommy scratched your eye? Uh-huh, really bad.
[man.]
Why did she scratch your eye? Because she's always evil.
Really evil.
[Susan's voice echoes.]
Just go Let it go.
Just let it go.
There you go.
[normal voice.]
Okay, let's all sit down.
I'm gonna give you a monologue that should use all the things that we just went through.
Just hand it around.
You have time to go and study it.
- You want us to perform this? - [Susan.]
Oh, yes.
Of course.
Today? Right now? I failed drama.
[chuckles.]
[Susan.]
I'm giving you some time to drop into it.
Oh, shit.
[Susan.]
Go back to your truth.
You each have a person who you pick to talk to.
So, when you enter this, you wanna enter this from all of the stuff that was going on inside of you.
So I booked myself a room at the W Hotel and I, uh I ordered the pizza.
It was delicious.
Well, the plan was to eat the pizza first, and then kill myself.
The plan was have a few slices and then kill myself.
The plan was to eat the pizza and then kill myself.
No, I didn't eat the whole pizza.
[chuckles.]
Just two slices, you know me.
[Caitlin chuckles.]
I mean, you should see this place.
It's It's really going out in style.
[sobbing.]
All I want is All I wanted was for you to just be like [sniffles.]
- mija, it's okay - [Susan.]
Okay.
You didn't lift it into a character.
No, you didn't give it - over to the script.
- [sputtering lips.]
This is a lot.
[Taz, Pia laugh.]
This is what this is about.
Do you wanna hear my, um my suicide note? [Alexandra.]
Want to read my suicide note? You wanna hear it? I got up here, I was just like, "There's no more tears.
" [laughter.]
[Leo.]
I had moments where I felt it, but the majority of the time, I was in and out of it.
[Susan.]
You didn't have anything underneath it in the beginning.
This is a big, big no-no.
Ah, I failed the test.
Ah, bummer.
[laughter.]
Hey, how's it going? I'm good.
 I'm just hanging out.
I'm fine.
[cries.]
Hey, Mom It's not anything crazy.
I just needed to hear you say you're sorry.
[crying continues.]
[voice breaking.]
I needed to hear you say you're sorry.
[inhales sharply.]
[sobs, sniffs.]
I just feel like I'm taking up space if I'm not writing music, or of I'm not doing anything successful.
[inhales deeply.]
And I stop myself from killing myself so many times.
Because I always knew there was a bigger purpose for me.
[inhales.]
[cries.]
I just needed to hear you say you're sorry.
[sniffs.]
I love you, okay? [crying continues.]
That's all I wanted to hear.
- [Alexandra sniffs.]
- [applause.]
[Susan.]
Okay, this is very big.
This is a big one.
[Sean.]
I love your image.
And I love how you portray yourself.
But what's as powerful and moving, is letting people see underneath the fur jacket as well.
[James.]
I don't know.
It was so vulnerable.
There was something so broken about it.
It was really compelling.
- Thanks, man.
- [Caitlin.]
I couldn't blink.
It was just really nice to watch you not try.
At all.
It felt like you had like opened up the top of yourself - and just was pouring it out.
- Thank you so much.
I just want to say that I have so much more to learn from you in this process.
[Austin.]
I knew that I wanted to be honest with you guys.
[sobs.]
And, uh the only way I could do that was to call her.
[laughs.]
So I called her.
And that was her on the phone.
[chuckles.]
You You actually called her? [Taz.]
Wait.
You were on the phone? That was actually my mom on the phone.
9:15 - I called her.
- [Susan.]
Whoa! You know, I had the feeling you were really on the phone.
[Austin.]
I texted her while someone was up and I said, "Can you talk in about ten minutes?" She said, "Yeah.
" [Arika.]
Can I please say something? From someone who doesn't have a mother at all, I can't get over the shit that happened to ever, ever in a million years do what you just did.
So the fact that that was real just, like, gave me chills.
[Sean.]
The songs that we sing and the stories that we're gonna tell on stage are based off of what we discovered today.
And I'm really, really excited and honored that you felt comfortable enough to let us all in.
That was the first time I ever told her to say sorry to me.
Because I was gonna do that in therapy.
And I did that here.
[James.]
Well, I really feel for you.
But that's not an exercise.
You just made us watch you go through therapy, which is kind of weird.
In what sense? You know, I I am actually like I I encourage you guys to be yourselves.
- To me that's not an exercise.
- That's what this is about, so I think that's kind of weird and a bit messed up.
You wanted me to be honest No.
I don't want to watch you have a phone conversation with your mom.
You know? We're having an exercise that was contained within this room right here.
[Susan.]
I agree with you on a certain level.
But this is more important than this piece of paper.
- It's not - No, let's just be fucking real here.
Fuck you for that.
It's fucking bullshit, dude.
I'm sitting here giving you my fucking self, and giving you what nobody seriously has done.
And you're telling me that there's some way to fucking do this thing? Are you serious right now? That's fucking bullshit.
- [Susan.]
It was his truth.
- [James.]
I think that it was messed up.
[Austin.]
How the fuck was it messed up? Dude, because it belongs in a room with your mom.
You guys have that conversation, not in front of us.
- You don't - I decided to fucking have it here! [Austin.]
You should be fucking thankful I gave you that conversation.
- Oh, thank you very much.
- Yeah.
- Are you fucking serious, dude? - Thank you very much, Austin.
- I gave that to you, man.
- Thank you.
- You don't want to take it, don't take it.
- [Sean.]
Hey You guys.
I just wanna say First of all, James, I hear you, and I understand.
You come from a very specific place of craft and exercise.
And, Austin, this, for you is what's also going to help you for your development of working on this workshop for the live show.
[Austin.]
I wanna be honest and bring my best.
- [Sean.]
But - You can't take me up for being honest I'm not taking you out for being honest, dude.
I'm telling you that it was a little bit strange.
- We're creating a piece of theater.
- Yeah! We're not going on stage and talking to our moms, dude.
- [Austin.]
I don't go shit on you for - [James.]
I'm not shitting on you! If you wanted to be comfortable, you shouldn't be here.
Period! That's not what it is.
It made you uncomfortable? That's bullshit.
[Sean.]
You guys.
[Austin.]
That's my real life, bro.
That's part of my fucking story.
You don't like it? Then who the fuck cares? [door closes.]
[siren wailing in distance.]
[Austin.]
I don't go shit on you for whatever [James.]
I'm not shitting on you! Lose my temper now I'm the fool again Shadow boxing I'm a walking argument I know the cure and where to get it Between two points the shortest trip Here I am again Here I am again Well, it's two grams up And then two grams down Here I am again Here I am again Sun is rising Walk to the liquor store Buy me a six As that's all I could afford 7 a.
m.
My love is sleeping Goddamn the storm begin to scream Here I am again Here I am again Well, it's two grams up And then two grams down Here I am again Here I am again Here I am again Face down on the floor Here I am again Not cut me so much more But, but here I am again! Here I am again Waking up straight from a fever dream Dead in the morning I don't have to look at me After the mirror is the makeup Fresh out of grace and good behavior Here I am again Here I am again And I'm two grams up And then I'm two grams down Here I am again Here I am again Here I am again Here I am again [siren wailing in distance.]
[birds chirping.]
[train chugging in distance.]
SDH created by: Arvind Vishwakarma