Who's Your Daddy (2020) s01e01 Episode Script

[Title Montage]
[Soggy] It was the beginning
of the 21st century.
Everything was changing.
Sourav Ganguly was
swirling T-shirt at Lords.
And Shahrukh was
making everyone dance.
And our guy was just masturbating.
When everyone wanted more,
the societies in Delhi
wanted something else
which was captured in
this small disk.
And it was my job to unlock it.
Winters of Delhi.
Ignited the heat of the hearts.
And also my business.
Okay. We will come back
to that generation later.
First, look at his desperation.
[Laughing]
[Man 1] It is hilarious.
[Laughing]
Uncle, you can laugh later.
Focus on work.
Where have you hidden
the special thing?
On the third rack.
- [Laughing]
- On the rack.
[Man 1] Monkeys are so naughty.
He slapped a foreigner's
bum and ran away.
[Laughing]
Take this uncle.
Here. Thank you.
Buy a mouth freshener too.
Love you too, uncle.
Take your time to do it.
Haste makes waste.
Oh. Carry on!
- Ready?
- I was waiting for you since long.
- Hey, listen.
- Yes.
You will pass, right?
Yes, Aashu sits right in front of me.
He has never scored less than 90.
I have cheated from him.
I will surely pass.
I am an expert at that.
Look, if you don't pass,
I'll go to college and you can keep
attending PT classes in school.
I will pass.
[Knocks on door]
Papa. Oh shit.
[Door opens]
[Door closes]
You rascal. Your family
- No.
Why are you abusing my family?
Abuse me.
Family? Which family?
Which family
are you talking about?
Nobody knows about your mother.
Go and ask your father
whose mistake you are.
- Bloody.
- Uncle. Relax.
Why are you talking of the dead?
I too can say a lot about you.
But I love your daughter.
That's why I am bearing with you.
You are bearing with me?
Bloody bearing me.
I am the one bearing you.
If you weren't Soggy's son,
I would have buried you here.
Get it?
- Papa.
- Shut up.
It's hurting me now.
Go and ask your dad now.
He has made many films.
Who was his heroine?
And who was your mother?
[Pissu] Blacken your face
and get lost from here. Go.
[Pissu] You are naked
and so is your family.
You will go naked from here.
Get out.
[Door opens]
[Breaks lock]
[Chest opens]
[Soggy] From Yamuna to GK,
I am famous.
- I am the number one for before
time delivery. - Oh shit.
Will show you everything,
national and international.
It will be delivered at your door.
[Turns off TV]
Papa, enough of your rapping.
I don't want any excuse today.
Why are you roaming around naked?
Who is my mother and
the heroine of your movie?
- Go and wear something.
- Tell me the truth.
- Keep this down.
- Who is my mother among the three?
- Have you gone mad?
- Tell me.
What else are you hiding, Papa?
I will hit you.
Hey, you could at least come home
even though you were naked.
If it was someone else, Pissu
wouldn't have spared him.
You are saved because of me.
I am not saved, I am trapped.
That too because of you.
My present is fked
because of your past.
And what is about this DVD?
Are any of them my mom
in the photos?
Tell me.
I thought I will tell
you tomorrow on your birthday.
No, tell me right now.
Who are they?
Okay, listen to me.
She is Mehak.
Take it as.
Fog of love in the mountains.
A dew drop.
Papa.
[Tidda] Spare the poetry
for another day.
Tell me in short. Concisely.
There is something called emotion.
How can I serve without cooking?
Okay, add whatever you can.
But dish it out.
Only hunger can be satisfied
in a hurry.
But the taste can be
enjoyed by eating slowly.
Mehak came into my life like that.
Let's go back to the flashback.
[Soggy] It is an old story.
But it is still fresh in my mind.
Just like DDLJ.
The groom was ready to take his bride.
Mehak was my Simran.
And I was her Raj.
[Song playing]
Soggy.
Sister-in-law.
[Song playing]
[Tidda] You looked
very stylish earlier.
Your father still looks the same.
Okay, move ahead.
Soggy, stealing is wrong.
She looks so tensed.
She loves the dog a lot.
Poor dog.
[Soggy] In every story, there is
a sidekick to help the hero.
Like Robin for Batman.
Saboo for Chacha Chaudhary.
Chhuttal was the
sidekick of my story.
Don't be stupid.
He isn't a dog.
Can't you read? His name is Nawab.
The dog's name is Nawab.
Give me.
Okay.
Chhuttal won't be able to do it.
Now you set it up for me. Go.
[Mouthing]
I told you they must have done it.
Okay fine. I am leaving. Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Nawab, where had you gone? Bad boy.
Soggy, where did you find him?
He didn't find him. He stole him.
- What?
- Picked up.
He is saying I picked him up.
He was loitering on the back road.
Poor guy was very scared.
So I got him home.
I didn't know he was yours or else
I would have come to return him.
Thank you so much, Soggy.
You helped me that
day and even today.
You are very sweet.
No worries. How are you?
I am fine. You tell me.
What's up with you?
I am the same.
Handsome!
You don't look the same.
You have become
smarter than before.
You have build your
body like Hrithik.
Do you go to the gym?
No. Not at the gym.
I workout at home.
Why? Does your girlfriend
keep you so busy?
No, I don't have a girlfriend.
- I couldn't find anyone like you.
- What?
Nothing.
[Mehak] What's new in life?
Have started the business of CDs.
Have the whole collection
of Hindi and English.
Oh, so when are you
going to show me a movie?
Whenever you say.
I will book balcony tickets.
[Song playing]
[Soggy] No, Soggy. Don't do this.
No, Soggy. Don't do it. Control it.
Don't forget that Mehak
thinks you are a decent guy.
To hell with decency.
Now I will set the frequency.
[Song playing]
[Chhuttal] Soggy,
I was talking about the CD.
But you started.
Take it easy, Soggy.
[Bell rings]
[Mehak] Get me the English
love story tomorrow.
The one about the ship
in which the hero dies.
Which love story is that?
- [Soggy] Titanic.
- Titanic.
Get me that CD, okay?
[Mehak] Hope to see you soon.
Okay, I am going. Bye.
And thank you so much
for returning Nawab back.
Bye.
- [Giggling]
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye, Mehak.
I am waiting for tomorrow.
It will be evening first and then
night.
And then tomorrow will come.
Let's go.
Talk less.
Always interrupting in the middle.
Oh my Hrithik Roshan. Let's go.
[Soggy] Sorry, Chichi.
I love you. But I love her more.
[Soggy] This was my old colony.
[Tidda] Did we live here?
It is our Amar colony.
[Tidda] Ruhi also lives here.
Straight DLF from Amar colony.
Which treasure keys
did you get? Papa.
You. You were that key.
After you came, my destiny changed.
Your father changed from
Soggy CD guy to Soggy cable man.
[Soggy] That was your charm.
No need to flatter me.
Narrate your love story.
Don't say the word Prem.
I hated the word then.
[Bed creaks]
[Door opens]
[Tidda] Oh shit. Grandpa.
[Soggy] Prem.
Prem Singh Barnala.
[Tidda] Grandpa
is looking handsome.
[Soggy] That was
my greatest problem.
My father was handsome.
Look ahead.
What are you doing?
Is this the time to exercise?
No, it is the time to play Holi.
This isn't your army.
That everything will
be according to your time.
[Prem] As if you
follow the time table.
Had you followed, you would have
been an officer of a high rank.
Even after following,
you couldn't do much.
What couldn't I do?
Forget that.
People have work to do.
Unlike you who has no work after
retirement.
Really?
What did you think?
What was I doing?
When the mind is dirty,
everything seems dirty.
What about the dirt you
spread here?
Fine, rocking all the time.
I have to get up early morning.
Routine should be maintained.
- Carry on.
- You are right.
You have to fly pigeons
with Champa in the morning.
[Soggy] Because of father,
all the ladies of the colony
had changed their routine.
He was fit because of the army
and was hot like Hrithik.
Everyone went crazy.
Good morning.
[Champa] Captain, Good morning.
Good morning.
[Soggy] Especially Champa.
Whose heart was
restless to tell papa
[Song playing]
[Screams]
Biji.
Get me the parathas. I am hungry.
I am tired after exercising.
You wanted it so hot.
I feel like pulling
his nose with the tongs.
Neither does he do anything
nor does he read.
He is always at home.
[Soggy] And she is Biji.
All in one.
One can't predict her moods.
In a single word, she is bizarre.
Whatever it is.
She is on my side.
What do you keep doing?
The same that you do with your son.
- What have I done?
- That is it.
You haven't done anything.
At first, it was the army.
Now, it's fun.
From morning to night,
you follow a routine.
There is a time you have to get up.
Time to eat and then go to sleep.
- So?
- I sometimes doubt
that you are Pishori's son?
- What? - That guy too
followed the routine.
Even if the world changed,
he would come to the terrace
to stare at me every single day.
What nonsense are you talking?
Utter rubbish. Stop it.
What else should I tell you?
You don't have any
qualities of your father.
Staying at home, jobless.
Look at me, at the age of 70,
I run a marriage bureau.
Help me a bit.
[Biji] Maybe you
might get married again.
Look at Soggy,
he is working so hard.
Mehak.
[Song playing]
Sir asked you to go to
the temple on a Saturday.
Look, money has come on our way.
Come, Shahrukh Khan.
[Constable 1] It is Soggy.
Oh yes.
[Man 2] Give me.
Four local and four foreign ones.
Uncle, how are the CDs working?
Excellent.
We are having fun. Super fun.
Bloody.
- [Soggy] Hello.
- Give me six local ones.
Chhuttal.
How are you, sister-in-law?
Are the eggs working on brother?
- Does he feel the heat?
- Rubbish.
He has become colder.
I am mad.
You keep fooling me
and I get fooled.
Have patience, sister-in-law.
Patience bears sweeter fruits.
This time, I will give
you eggs of another hen.
[Soggy] I don't give it to
anyone else.
But you are close to me.
So, I am giving it to you.
Make brother eat it once.
Then there will be magic.
In one day, he will be Tarzan
and you will be Kimi Katkar.
Or else you can call
Chhuttal by another name.
But it is a monthly course.
Five in the morning and evening.
Oh, but won't he feel the heat
in his body by eating these eggs?
Don't worry.
The hen is from the hills.
She is very cool. Just like you.
Okay, then it's fine.
Okay, do I have to give
him raw eggs or boiled?
Give him raw.
They will boil on their own.
You are very naughty.
Take the money.
- Bye.
- Take care.
Five times in a day.
Will you get me killed?
It's winter.
I thought you would have liked it.
[Prem] What happened to your leg?
Nothing. I was trying to save a
puppy and met with an accident.
Is the scooter fine?
Your scooter is doing fine.
- [Soggy] As if it is so
important. - [Chhuttal] Uncle.
Biscuits?
Should I give you biscuits? Take.
- [Siddhu] Hail Captain.
- Hello, Siddhu sir.
Stay blessed, son.
What happened to you Soggy?
- [Chhuttal] Because of you
- Shut up.
[Soggy] He is Siddhu.
Papa's best friend.
He has enjoyed everything
like a married man.
But hasn't married.
Why is your mood off?
What happened?
Biji is right.
[Prem] I was always in the army.
Couldn't spare time for the house
or the family.
What could you do?
You can only do
what the heart wishes.
It's been so many years
since sister-in-law has gone.
[Siddhu] And you are still sad.
I have told you so many times.
Let's go to Arora's farmhouse.
We will have some fun there.
The heaven's gate will open there.
Enough.
You are always talking nonsense.
Time for a walk. Let's go.
- Listen to me for once.
- [Prem] Siddhu, let's go.
You will never change.
Hang up.
He left? He made me a fool.
[Mikka] You are dumb, fker.
[Soggy] He is my friend, Mikka.
He is a rascal and also sweet.
According to him, whatever happens,
you should always
maintain your style.
Wow, Mikka.
Mikka.
Whom have you borrowed it from?
Dirty bugger, shut up.
Don't touch.
Whom have I borrowed it from?
My wedding date has been fixed.
Yes, fker, that's amazing.
I got my gift too.
It looks second hand.
Fker, have you seen this?
This is first hand.
I can end you with one hand.
Bloody fker, explain him.
I will kill him one day.
Chuck him.
- Listen to me.
- Yes, tell.
I want a favour from you.
[Song playing]
- Isn't it awesome?
- Bloody fk.
It's fked. The music system.
The woofer is not so great.
[Car halting]
Fker. The brakes are great.
Go and give the CD.
Go and check if the guy
from the car is with her.
Soggy, should I get him here?
We will thrash him right here.
Go. Hurry up and go.
[Honking]
Soggy.
Sister-in-law looks like Urmila.
[Singing song]
Don't be so touchy.
Why are you getting touchy?
Fker, don't you think
she is out of your league?
Fker, don't underestimate me.
She just has to say yes to me.
I will shower her with money.
[Mikka] Oh fker.
You can't even pay for my drinks.
And you will shower money on her.
[Doorbell rings]
Why are you making so much
of noise?
[Door opens]
Have you stolen
food from the fridge again?
I was ringing the bell since long.
What do you want?
Mehak has asked for a CD.
Give it to me.
I have been asked to check it.
- Asked you to check it?
- Yes.
It's the first room upstairs.
Nawab, having fun?
Carry on.
Mehak.
[Mehak] Okay, now you leave.
If uncle comes,
you won't be able to leave.
Come on, go.
I am not scared of your uncle.
[Tidda] Papa's
story was unfolding
and was getting bold as well.
You guys hold on. As papa says,
only hunger is satisfied
in a hurry.
The taste comes gradually.
[Theme song playing]